Holy cow. These are some wild issues folks. Claremont is back to form, firing on all cylinders and peppering us full of GOOD STORY. If only we weren't a LANTERNS podcast now, we could cover the end of Rachel Summers, Phoenix, as well as the prelude to the Mutant Massacre...

Oh well, guess you'll just have to get really into LANTERNS now.

Topics Mentioned:

Hive Mind Gang. A fucked-up, twisted Warriors. Everyone has a perm. Jessica Drew's Full House House. Brawn over Brains. Who is this redheaded woman? Abandoning a Nightcrawler sub-plot. Ow! First Step: Break a Mirror. Rosencrantz the Magnonamous. A scary Wolverine. Rachel's Shirley Jackson Villain Arc. Pants... Off. Godzilla Rules. FRIEDRICH VON ROEHM IS BACK. Can't a man just give a woman orange juice anymore? SNIKT. "Wolverine is a PRICK!" Selene is EVIL. The Lords Cardinal. A scarier (but less consequential) Dark Phoenix. Caliban wear shirt! Harry Leland's super-hero costume. Describing Nimrod for a VERY long time. Shifting from LOVE MODE to COMBAT MODE. A juicy robot butt (again). FRIEDRICH VON ROEHM IS GONE. Nightcrawler is vaporized. Are the Hellfire Club SUPPOSED to be incompetent? Put the Tommy Gun in my hand! What's the deal with rush hour? Kitty restrains herself for once. Wolverine's moral code. "THE Bulk."

TIMESTAMPS

1:10 - Kilowog Hours: A Lanterns Podcst

6:55 - The Actual Start of the Podcast

18:15 - Pat's Email Corner

29:10 - Have You Done Anything X-Men Related This Week?

35:11 - Uncanny X-Men #206

59:23 - Uncanny X-Men #207

1:21:25 - Uncanny X-Men #208

1:48:48 - Uncanny X-Men #209

2:10:50 - Uncanny X-Men #210

2:32:55 - Final Thoughts

2:36:20 - Pat's Deals n' Steals

2:41:00 - Goodbye!

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Episode 77 - Uncanny X-Men #206-210

Hope you're ready for friendship, folks! Because the New Mutants are back after taking a little break from Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters in the Back to School Special! Come hear how Sam and Dani spent their summer vacations, take a field trip with the gang to a rival school, attend a school dance, and even give a school assembly! Oh, and some really fucked up stuff, mostly in Power Pack. Tune in!



TOPICS DISCUSSED:

“You don’t have to write a whole comic about it, we picked it up in one sentence!” A lot of people with thoughts about Bill Mantlo. Hoagiemouth. Cereal reviews. Issue 73. Cowboy religion. Sam Guthrie’s many siblings. Remember Josh Guthrie for 5 years. Sam’s letters home. Stevie Hunter rules. Hellions! “He doesn’t mean any of this, he’s just excitable.” A school dance. A list of slurs. Franklin Richards saves Santa. Bonkers!

TIMESTAMPS:

9:19 - Pat’s Email Corner

45:24 - New Mutants #41: “Way of the Warrior”

59:19 - New Mutants #42: “New Song For Old”

1:20:05 - New Mutants #43: “Getting Even”

1:43:50 - New Mutants #44: “Runaway!”

1:59:30 - New Mutants #45: “We Were Only Foolin’”

2:25:54 - Power Pack #20: “Turning Point”

2:45:06 - Pat’s Steals ‘n’ Deals

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76 - New Mutants #41-45 & Power Pack #20

You can't call these guys the X-Men anymore! They're X-Factor. And they've got a brand new foe who wears a gimp mask! Or, wait, no, he doesn't. It's Apocalypse! 

We start the Louise Simonson era of X-Factor and it absolutely rules!

Topics Discussed:

Saying your own name. A Beef Thief. Va-Va-Va-VOOM! A darker side of Bob Layton. The Alliance of Evil. The worst kept secret. Harmless Heroin. S&M Apocalypse. LOUISE SIMONSON IS HERE! Matt is right. X-Factor is good now. They should kill Angel. The Phoenix is back?? Maddy the Hatch-Opener. TRISH TILBY IS HERE! Jerry and Squiggy. Scott calls one person to look for his missing wife and son and then gives up. Skids! Jean's beeper. X-TERMINATORS. Complex mutant politics. The DOWNDRAFT returns! Bobby ices up in a suit. Jean looking at a picture of Maddy. Why is Spider-Woman part of Freedom Force? An ALMOST X-Men crossover. Spiral disappears. Holy Mike! The STRONG return of Holy Hannah! :

TIMESTAMPS:

0:07:28 Pat's Email Corner

0:18:00 Did We Do Anything X-Men Related This Week?

0:26:05 X-Factor #5

0:54:15 X-Factor #6

1:25:10 X-Factor #7

1:47:24 X-Factor Annual #1

2:13:45 X-Factor #8

2:31:40 Final Thoughts

2:34:15 Pats Steals and Deals

 2:41:45 Goodbye!

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75 - X-Factor #5-8, Annual #1 - APOCALYPSE!

This is definitely our angriest episode. We finish off Alpha Flight and Bill Mantlo makes many decisions that make us absolutely furious. But also plenty of absurd ones that make us laugh, so there's still plenty of joy in this episode! I promise!

We find out who Puck REALLY is (ugh) and the (semi-)ultimate fates of Heather Hudson, Shaman, Snowbird, Sasquatch, Northstar, Aurora, Talisman, Madison Jeffries, Doug Thompson, Marrina, a Baby, and Puck!

Topics Discussed:

SCRAMBLE, THE MIXED-UP MAN. The '56 Buick line returns. Half a maple leaf is the most sturdy shape. Bill Mantlo hates women. Your brother's brain. Brobdingnagian. "The ain't your grandma's How to Pronounce Brobdingnagian video". Nemesis returns. Her sword "hungers." Bill Mantlo doesn't understand metaphors. "Short Story" A full nude butt. Heather Hudson character assassination. Razer Pronunciation (CORRECTLY!). Tall Puck. A sword that shrinks you 6 inches. I AM THE SHORT KING. Bill Mantlo unwrites characters written goodly. No ride to the Opera. Chris Claremont: Secret Editor. LADY DEATHSTRIKE! Wolverine origins. Bill Mantlo hates people with disabilities. Heather reads a folder in her memory. "Vindicator" is back. Talisman is NOT a mutant. The fate of Alpha Flight.

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 - Background

11:40 - Pat's Email Corner

29:15 - Did We Do Anything X-Men Related?

36:40 - Alpha Flight #30

1:04:04 - Alpha Flight #31

1:17:05 - Alpha Flight #32

1:38:15 - Alpha Flight #33

1:54:55 - Alpha Flight #34

2:12:35 - Alpha Flight #35-50

2:28:09 - Final Thoughts

2:31:45 - Pat's Deals and Steals

2:37:12 - Goodbye!

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74 - Alpha Flight #30-34 (and beyond)

ICONIC is a word that gets thrown around a lot, and today is no exception! Join us as we gleefully tear into this iconic run of issues, featuring the iconic Scott/Ororo fight, art by the iconic Barry Windsor-Smith, and Wolverine being his general iconic self! And of course we, your iconic hosts, are just being iconic as hell. Tune in!

TOPICS DISCUSSED:

Snorting crushed up Baby Tylenol. Bryan Lee O’Malley. We’re healing. A baby that knows what an email is. Little Rascals. An absolutely iconic fight. Whilce Portacio is here! That’s her Grampapa! Edward Albee’s Zoo Story. SFLANNG! Every Arcade story is the same. Barry Windsor-Smith returns! Lady Deathstrike is here! “Transformers would write some damn ad copy.”

TIMESTAMPS:

7:03 - Pat’s Email Corner

24:34 - Uncanny X-Men #201: “Duel”

52:05 - Uncanny X-Men #202: “X-Men I’ve Gone To Kill the Beyonder!”

1:10:05 - Uncanny X-Men #203: “Crossroads”

1:39:55 - Uncanny X-Men #204: ”What Happened to Nightcrawler?”

2:03:29 - Uncanny X-Men #205: “Wounded Wolf”

2:31:38 - Pat’s Steals ‘n’ Deals

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73 - Uncanny X-Men #201-205

MAGNETO tries to settle into his new role as the headmaster of the New Mutants this week, and boy do things go wrong. Everyone dies! Just kidding. Or are we? Tune in to find out, folks, in what turns out to be a realllly good run of issues, even amidst the turdstorm of Secret Wars II!

TOPICS DISCUSSED:

The Odyssey rejects. The new Spider-Man movie. Mary Wilshire and Bill Sienkiewicz! He’s still doing supervillain stuff. The original X-Men would never have sex. “Also, I’m very sad.” Chris Claremont’s The Beyonder. John Wayne. Believing in the Grim Reaper. Counting coup. An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz. Everyone’s dead. More Secret Wars II stuff. “You made her go to hell.” Charles Xavier’s mysterious older cousin, Michael Xavier is here! Avengers sleepwear. Steve Garvey’s Space Jam.

TIMESTAMPS:

4:52 - Pat’s Email Corner

24:32 - New Mutants #35 : “The Times, They Are A’changin’!”

55:21 -  New Mutants #36 : Subway to Salvation

1:04:06 - New Mutants #37: “If I Should Die”

1:31:14 - New Mutants #38: “Aftermath”

1:47:59 - New Mutants #39: “Pawns of the White Queen”

1:59:48 - New Mutants #40: “Avengers Assemble!”

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72 - New Mutants #35-40 - Professor Magneto

ISSUES: Avengers #263, Fantastic Four #286, X-Factor #1-4

Don't tell Chris Claremont, but we're starting a brand new title: X-FACTOR! Plus, one of the most classic deaths in all of comics is undone. 

Matt and Pat enjoy some controversial comics and walk away with very different opinions on the direction of the characters! We meet some cool new characters and revisit some surprising old ones...

Topics Mentioned:

"Huh. This is weird." Namor and Hercules nude party. The Black Knight's Atomic Steed. Talking stupid looking. An egg that looks like a coffin. We miss Peter Corbeau. John Byrne doesn't know what a clitoris is. Third Genesis. Reed Richards' one mutant friend. RUSTY! "Gotta get these clothes off. No time to lose!" Scott Summers as husband and father. "Why are you telling me this?" Cameron Hodge! A secret police for mutants. An asbestos bag. Bernard's dead! Showing up to a business meeting in your underwear. Vera's hot now. Dr. Carl Maddicks is back! ARTIE! Be nice to Artie. Bobby's ice detritus. FRENZY! The Jean/Scott/Warren Love Triangle AGAIN!? Headmaster Woodley is here! Artie is the best character in the Marvel Universe. "Say Jim, why don't you show ol' chili dog some presidents?" Ruining Scott Summers' hair.

TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - Background

12:04 - Pat's Email Corner

30:30 - Did We Do Anything X-Men Related This Week?

37:30 - Avengers #263

42:55 - Fantastic Four #286

57:35 - X-Factor #1

1:30:35 - X-Factor #2

1:46:10 - X-Factor #3

2:00:05 - X-Factor #4

2:18:15 - Final Thoughts

2:24:50 - Pat's Deals n' Steals

3:41:10 - Goodbye!

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71 - X-Factor #1-4

Returning guest and newly-christened friend of the show ALEX GOLDMAN is here to talk to us about a bizarre Exquisite Corpse-style comic Marvel did in 1985 for famine relief - without asking any of the related charities beforehand. Featuring an unbelievable roster of creators, this whole does not quite equal the sum of its parts.

Topics Discussed:

Does Stan Lee know what's happening? Kill the mailman. Catholic Hades. Alex Goldman as the next Wolverine. The ol' drowning-your-friends prank. My favorite soup! Wolverine's Banana. 5000 words for 3 pages. Alan Moore nails it. Unicorn trap! A naked Logan, hair normal. Having a threesome with yourself. Storm hit in the face with a pie. The precise location of "Africa". Poverty porn for middle-class Americans. The co-creators of Swamp Thing AND Man-Thing.

TIMESTAMPS

8:40 - Heroes for Hope Background

18:19 - Overview

24:10 - Stan Lee/John Romita Jr. pg 1-2

26:30 - Stan Lee/John Buscema pg 3-4

20:23 - Ed Bryant/Brent Anderson pg 5

31:00 - Louise Simonson/John Byrne pg 6-8

34:23 - Ed Bryant/Brent Anderson pg 9

35:40 - Stephen King/Berni Wrightson pg 10-12

38:20 - Bill Mantlo/Charlie Vess pg 13-14

40:54 - Ed Bryant/Brent Anderson pg 15

41:30 - Alan Moore/Richard Corben pg 16-18

46:10 - Ann Nocenti/Mike Kaluta pg 19-21

48:20 - Harlan Ellison/Frank Miller pg 22-24

56:38 - Chris Claremont/Brian Bolland pg 25-26

59:58 - Jo Duffy/John Bolton pg 27-28

1:02:03 - Mike Baron/Steve Rude pg 29-30

1:05:15 - Denny O’Neil/Bret Blevins pg 31-32

1:07:21 - George R.R. Martin/Herb Trimpe pg 33-35

1:12:35 - Bruce Jones/Gray Morrow pg 36-37

1:16:43 - Steve Engelhart/Paul Gulacy pg 38-39

1:19:37 - Jim Stupid/Alan Weiss pg 40-41

1:23:44 - Mike Grell/Jackson Guice pg 42-44

1:26:37 - Archie Goodwin/Howard Chaykin pg 45-48

1:33:10 - Final Thoughts

Hyperfixed: https://www.hyperfixedpod.com/

Amityvilleville: https://www.radiotopia.fm/podcasts/amityvilleville

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BONUS - Heroes for Hope w/ Alex Goldman

It's the one we warned you about, dear listeners: SECRET WARS II! Tune in to hear us get really, really frustrated and eventually very tired. We've got no shortage of complaints and dunks in this one, which is what we know you sickos want! Somewhere in there we'll even recap some comics!

TOPICS DISCUSSED:

We’re upset. Jack Shitbird. It all washes out in the laundry. They can’t all have massive hogs. REAGAN WATCH! Pooping glass. Circuit Breaker is (inexplicably) here! A dog that eats cigars. Boom-Boom is here! Dazzler’s love isn’t real. Intro to Philosophy. I’m just a small-town Dave. Putting original art in the typewriter. Can the thing swim? Matt understands a sports metaphor. The etymology of buttheads. All rocks are from space.

Check out the Sal Buscema version of Secret Wars II we mention: https://marvel1980s.blogspot.com/2013/01/1985-sal-buscemas-secret-wars-ii-1.html

TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - Hello and Secret Wars II history

16:00 - Pat’s Email Corner

30:55 - Secret Wars II #1: “EARTHFALL!”

53:28 - Secret Wars II #2: “I’ll Take Manhattan…”

1:07:59 - Secret Wars II #3: “This World is Mine!”

1:20:29 - Secret Wars II #4: “Love is the Answer!”

1:35:11 - Secret Wars II #5: “DESPAIR!”

1:45:39 - Secret Wars II #6: “Life rules!”

1:56:05 - Secret Wars II #7: “Charge of the Dark Brigade!”

2:07:09 - Secret Wars II #8: “Betrayal!”

2:15:16 - Secret Wars II #9: “God in Man, Man in God!”

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70 - Secret Wars II

We're back with another cooooool episode for everyone! Not only cool because it's a sex number, but also cool because cold. This week, Matt and Pat talk about ICEMAN! Specifically the Iceman mini-series from 1984... It's CHOCK FULL of metaphors, but are they the ones that were intended? Listen and (maybe) find out!

Topics Discussed:

Scrubbing Gargoyle. A very muscular Iceman statue. Hiding in a shoebox. Telling a cop they'll be hearing from you a lot from now on. J.M DEMATTEIS! That's the Silver Surfer! "If he's nude, that's not the ice dude..." Red-faced Ralph Rachitt. Deferred trauma. DA IDIOT! HOT-CHA-CHA! Cousin Joel... Blaming it all on Commie Agents. "Please don't kill your father." GET CLOTHES, DAMMIT. Iceman no longer exists. A little ice baby. "We'll never be accountants either!" Bobby Drake's perfect town. Everything is love! My daughter/sister/mate.

TIMESTAMPS:

3:11 - Iceman Background

11:00 - Pat's Email Corner

18:15 - Did We Do Anything X-Men Related This Week?

22:15 - Bizarre Adventures #27 (Iceman Story)

34:15 - Iceman #1 

57:00 - Iceman #2

1:09:35 - Iceman #3

1:23:20 - Iceman #4

1:36:30 - Final Thoughts

1:45:17 - Pat's Steals n' Deals

1:52:55 - What's Next and Goodbye!

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69 - Iceman #1-4

Matt Aukamp (@mutantmenace) · Zencastr

Matt Aukamp (@mutantmenace)

Comedians Matt Aukamp (Save Your Game, The Very Worst) and Pat Reber (The Very Worst) read the X-Men in chronological order and talk about all the weird, funny, ridiculous, insightful, and interesting things within.

Mutant Menace