Hop in, we're going to medieval Scotland! And several potential futures! And deep space! And Limbo! All, of course, with the New Mutants! They're on the run through space and time trying to escape incredible threats, and damn is it a good story! Tune in!

TOPICS DISCUSSED:

Lots of emails. Home Improvement extended theme. Diet Hell. Green and evil. Time travel frustrations. I’m just a boy. Empty-nester Magneto. Sam on the wrong side of history. Robert the Bruce. Hitting people with a stick. Ariel. Bad butte. Shape-shifting beat cop. Lawbots. John Stuart Mill and a lotta nude butts!

TIME STAMPS:

8:03 - Pat’s Email Corner

39:39 - New Mutants #47: “My Heart for the Highlands”

1:03:35 - New Mutants #48: “Ashes of the Heart”

1:25:33 - New Mutants #49: “Ashes of the Soul”

1:51:13 - New Mutants #50: “Father’s Day!”

2:37:09 - Pat’s Steals ‘n’ Deals



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82 - New Mutants 47-50

Issues: X-Factor 9-11, Uncanny X-Men 211-213, New Mutants 46, Power Pack 27, Mighty Thor 373-374, Daredevil 238

A GIANT-SIZED EPISODE for a GIANT-SIZED STORY. The first major mutant crossover, as the X-Men face their darkest hour. Somebody is killing Morlocks, and the X-Men arrive... too late? This crossover sees the end of an era and ushers in the beginning of another as characters die, others are introduced, knowledge is gained, long-awaited meetings occur, and much, much more.

THIS is good comics.

Topics Discussed:

It’s time. The original plan for Mutant Massacre. “I’m X-Factor, too.” The meeting we’ve all been waiting for. Blob in glasses! The Marauders. Sewer boulders. Absolute brutality. “Who doesn’t want to draw a pegasus?” Owen J. Roberts. CONTINUITY ERROR!! Selfsoulfriend. Philadelphia mentioned! Tom “Rambo” Corsi. Your one weakness is punch! Healer, heal her. Moneyball. SABRETOOTH VS. WOLVERINE! Ass Ass, Ass-in-Ass. This is not the time to be a little scamp. The opposite of Stand By Me. Storm is back to herself: Nude. Vanisher’s Charlie’s Angels. Sal Buscema still can’t draw a dog. Davedevil. Proto-Rorschach. Just put her in a tank! Sabretooth would be a fan of fictional Deadpool. Wolverine’s wet bowl-cut. Betsy’s home-made costume.



TIMESTAMPS

12:44 - X-Factor #9: “Spots!”

35:28 - Uncanny X-Men #211: “Massacre”

59:50 - New Mutants #46: “Bloody Sunday”

1:11:40 - X-Factor #10: “Falling Angel!

1:37:47 - The Mighty Thor #373: “The Gift of Death”

1:40:33 - Power Pack #27: “Whose Power–?”

2:03:30 - Uncanny X-Men #212: “The Last Run”

2:19:47 - The Mighty Thor #374: “Fires of the Night”

2:32:50 - X-Factor #11: “Redemption!”

2:47:38 - Daredevil #238: “It Comes with the Claws”

2:57:00 - Uncanny X-Men #213: “Psylocke”

3:19:00 - Final Thoughts

3:28:26 - Pat’s Deals n’ Steals

3:33:45 - Goodbye!



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81 - MUTANT MASSACRE!

Issues: Iron Man Annual #8, Amazing Spider-Man #282, Web of Spider-Man Annual #2

THIS BONUS EPISODE IS UNDER AN HOUR. I don't care what your iPod Nano says. We're covering a bunch of random issues that didn't fit into our other episodes and holy hell are they weird and fun.

Topics Covered:

Gotta keep it moving. MP3 players. A talking dancing frog that is NOT Michigan J. Frog. Project Pegasus. Underground solar power. It’s a wonderful life. Willie Evans Jr. INNOCENT! Ramming comics. C-Factor. “I thought we were going to…” Comedy is back. Things Ann Nocenti hates. “Hi guys.” A 30-foot neck. DETECTIVE.

TIMESTAMPS

7:50 - Iron Man Annual #8: “When Innocence Dies!”

38:11 - Amazing Spider-Man #282: “The Fury of X-Factor!”

57:23 - Web of Spider-Man Annual #2: “Wake Me Up I Gotta Be Dreaming!”

1:18:43 - Pat’s Deals ‘n’ Steals

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Bonus - Warlock, X-Factor, and Cartoon Frogs

Issues: Iron Fist #14, Power Man & Iron Fist #66, #78, #84, Peter Parker: Spectacular Spider-Man #116, #119

Before we dive into the Mutant Massacre, we have one last stop to make: Who is this maniacal, animalistic assassin who has been lurking around the Marvel Universe for the past 10 years? His name is Sabretooth and he's got quite a history.

Topics Discussed:

Snowfire! Bullets are always creasing skulls. Pirate Sabretooth. "Deep Zen Trance" *wink*. A Spell of Snowblindness. Daughters of the Dragon. How does an electro-magnetic lock work? Bob Diamond! Hiding behind a light post. Punching a door toward you. "I'm an animal too!" Hiding behind a priceless vase. La Slashier! A Boombox: My one weakness! Why did we read that? Not Bob Diamond! Wait, Bob Diamond is better! Sabretooth likes jazz. Peter David!! Go suck an egg! Let me show you my cool solid gold notebook. "By Dose! You Brobe By Dose!" PLATZ! The original run of Cats! Counting kills. The Eagles for some reason. Impressing the Foreigner. Wolverine's Dad.

TIMESTAMPS

0:30 - Kilowog Hours: A Lanterns Podcast

8:39 - Background

13:40 - Pat's Email Corner

33:00 - Did We Do Anything X-Men Related?

35:00 - Iron Fist #14

52:50 - Power Man & Iron Fist #66

1:10:53 - Power Man & Iron Fist #78

1:22:29 - Power Man & Iron Fist #84

1:36:30 - Peter Parker: Spectacular Spider-Man #116

1:54:05 - Peter Parker: Spectacular Spider-Man #119

2:13:15 - Pats Deals and Steals

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80 - Sabretooth

Issues: New Mutants Annual #2 & X-Men Annual #10

There's a scary new villain on the scene, folks! Mojo, the Lifebringer! Tune in as we cover his first couple appearances post-Longshot and scare ourselves silly! Plus, New Mutants and X-Men working together...and even fighting!?! Plus lots of nudity! Join us!

TOPICS DISCUSSED:

A pink man. Bad time Benjamin. Heavy edits. Supergirl. Psylocke! Captain Britain! The Brat Pack! “It has nothing to do with the scorch marks on the phone.” Longshot! “In an Art Adams book, anything could be goop at any time.” Going too amnesiac. Doug’s addiction. New Mutants New Costumes. Thor frog friends. Lazer tag.

TIMESTAMPS

1:12 - Kilowog Hours - A Lanterns Podcast

9:49 - Pat’s Email Corner

33:27 - New Mutants Annual #2: “Why Do We Do The Things We Do?”

1:10:40 - X-Men Annual #10 : “Performance”

1:59:40 - Pat’s Deals ‘n’ Steals



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Episode 79 - Mojo!

Hey everyone! Sorry about no episode this week, but in lieu of our normal X-Men rantings, we thought we'd give you a little taste of what we have goin' on over in the Patreon.

https://www.patreon.com/MutantMenace

For as low as $1/month, you can get these short little nuggets of comedy... there are 6 so far and more to come (when we remember to do them). Plus, Outtakes (even more occasionally) AND our undying appreciation.

Thanks for listening and being cool!

https://www.patreon.com/MutantMenace

[PATREON UNLOCK] Puffyfaffin' with Matt and Pat

Join us this week on a little detour from our usual titles, as we meet a few major future X-characters in Ann Nocenti and Art Adams' Longshot miniseries! It's weird! It's funny! It's dark and sometimes terrifying! And seriously, it's very very funny, we get a little giggly. Tune in!

TOPICS DISCUSSED

Ann Nocenti’s cat. A little guy. Limahl. Con-Ed. Longshot! Spiral! Eliot! Ricochet Rita! A stuntman that keeps passing out. Jinx! She-Hulk! Spider-Man! MOJO! The Little Rascals with a gun. Ronald Reagan. Gog N’Magog! Quark! Gumby. Dr. Strange! Arize! Vincent D’Onofrio. Bent Neck Lady.

TIMESTAMPS

11:11 - Pat’s Email Corner

38:54 - Longshot #1: A Man Without A Past

1:00:27 - Longshot #2: “...I’ll Wave To You From The Top!”

1:17:23 - Longshot #3: Just Let Me Die

1:34:47 - Longshot #4: Can’t Give It All Away!

1:42:55 - Longshot #5: Deadly Lies

2:00:35 - Longshot #6: A Snake Coils…

2:22:25 - Pat’s Steals ‘n’ Deals

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78 - Longshot Miniseries #1-6

Holy cow. These are some wild issues folks. Claremont is back to form, firing on all cylinders and peppering us full of GOOD STORY. If only we weren't a LANTERNS podcast now, we could cover the end of Rachel Summers, Phoenix, as well as the prelude to the Mutant Massacre...

Oh well, guess you'll just have to get really into LANTERNS now.

Topics Mentioned:

Hive Mind Gang. A fucked-up, twisted Warriors. Everyone has a perm. Jessica Drew's Full House House. Brawn over Brains. Who is this redheaded woman? Abandoning a Nightcrawler sub-plot. Ow! First Step: Break a Mirror. Rosencrantz the Magnonamous. A scary Wolverine. Rachel's Shirley Jackson Villain Arc. Pants... Off. Godzilla Rules. FRIEDRICH VON ROEHM IS BACK. Can't a man just give a woman orange juice anymore? SNIKT. "Wolverine is a PRICK!" Selene is EVIL. The Lords Cardinal. A scarier (but less consequential) Dark Phoenix. Caliban wear shirt! Harry Leland's super-hero costume. Describing Nimrod for a VERY long time. Shifting from LOVE MODE to COMBAT MODE. A juicy robot butt (again). FRIEDRICH VON ROEHM IS GONE. Nightcrawler is vaporized. Are the Hellfire Club SUPPOSED to be incompetent? Put the Tommy Gun in my hand! What's the deal with rush hour? Kitty restrains herself for once. Wolverine's moral code. "THE Bulk."

TIMESTAMPS

1:10 - Kilowog Hours: A Lanterns Podcst

6:55 - The Actual Start of the Podcast

18:15 - Pat's Email Corner

29:10 - Have You Done Anything X-Men Related This Week?

35:11 - Uncanny X-Men #206

59:23 - Uncanny X-Men #207

1:21:25 - Uncanny X-Men #208

1:48:48 - Uncanny X-Men #209

2:10:50 - Uncanny X-Men #210

2:32:55 - Final Thoughts

2:36:20 - Pat's Deals n' Steals

2:41:00 - Goodbye!

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Episode 77 - Uncanny X-Men #206-210

Hope you're ready for friendship, folks! Because the New Mutants are back after taking a little break from Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters in the Back to School Special! Come hear how Sam and Dani spent their summer vacations, take a field trip with the gang to a rival school, attend a school dance, and even give a school assembly! Oh, and some really fucked up stuff, mostly in Power Pack. Tune in!



TOPICS DISCUSSED:

“You don’t have to write a whole comic about it, we picked it up in one sentence!” A lot of people with thoughts about Bill Mantlo. Hoagiemouth. Cereal reviews. Issue 73. Cowboy religion. Sam Guthrie’s many siblings. Remember Josh Guthrie for 5 years. Sam’s letters home. Stevie Hunter rules. Hellions! “He doesn’t mean any of this, he’s just excitable.” A school dance. A list of slurs. Franklin Richards saves Santa. Bonkers!

TIMESTAMPS:

9:19 - Pat’s Email Corner

45:24 - New Mutants #41: “Way of the Warrior”

59:19 - New Mutants #42: “New Song For Old”

1:20:05 - New Mutants #43: “Getting Even”

1:43:50 - New Mutants #44: “Runaway!”

1:59:30 - New Mutants #45: “We Were Only Foolin’”

2:25:54 - Power Pack #20: “Turning Point”

2:45:06 - Pat’s Steals ‘n’ Deals

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76 - New Mutants #41-45 & Power Pack #20

You can't call these guys the X-Men anymore! They're X-Factor. And they've got a brand new foe who wears a gimp mask! Or, wait, no, he doesn't. It's Apocalypse! 

We start the Louise Simonson era of X-Factor and it absolutely rules!

Topics Discussed:

Saying your own name. A Beef Thief. Va-Va-Va-VOOM! A darker side of Bob Layton. The Alliance of Evil. The worst kept secret. Harmless Heroin. S&M Apocalypse. LOUISE SIMONSON IS HERE! Matt is right. X-Factor is good now. They should kill Angel. The Phoenix is back?? Maddy the Hatch-Opener. TRISH TILBY IS HERE! Jerry and Squiggy. Scott calls one person to look for his missing wife and son and then gives up. Skids! Jean's beeper. X-TERMINATORS. Complex mutant politics. The DOWNDRAFT returns! Bobby ices up in a suit. Jean looking at a picture of Maddy. Why is Spider-Woman part of Freedom Force? An ALMOST X-Men crossover. Spiral disappears. Holy Mike! The STRONG return of Holy Hannah! :

TIMESTAMPS:

0:07:28 Pat's Email Corner

0:18:00 Did We Do Anything X-Men Related This Week?

0:26:05 X-Factor #5

0:54:15 X-Factor #6

1:25:10 X-Factor #7

1:47:24 X-Factor Annual #1

2:13:45 X-Factor #8

2:31:40 Final Thoughts

2:34:15 Pats Steals and Deals

 2:41:45 Goodbye!

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75 - X-Factor #5-8, Annual #1 - APOCALYPSE!

Matt Aukamp (@mutantmenace) · Zencastr

Matt Aukamp (@mutantmenace)

Comedians Matt Aukamp (Save Your Game, The Very Worst) and Pat Reber (The Very Worst) read the X-Men in chronological order and talk about all the weird, funny, ridiculous, insightful, and interesting things within.

Mutant Menace