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Lost In The Mummy
33 Plays21 days ago
Lee Cronin's Lost In The Frame discusses Lee Cronin's The Mummy.
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Transcript
The Mummy Casting Confusion
00:00:15
Speaker
Hey guys, can I talk to you about something medical? Sure. Of course. think I'm really worried about my my head. I just...
00:00:29
Speaker
i'm I'm really concerned. This has never happened to before. Went to the movies last night, right? Uh-huh. And we saw The Mummy. Yep. And just for the life of me, I can't remember any point in time where Brandon Fraser showed up.
00:00:43
Speaker
Huh. Huh. You know what? On second thought, he wasn't in the movie. What? Yeah, I didn't see him. You're telling me this now for the first time. There's no way that I would have known that The Mummy didn't have Brandon Fraser.
00:00:59
Speaker
Anyway,
Host Introductions and Film Discussion
00:01:00
Speaker
let's talk about it. Welcome back to Lost in the Frame. My name is Alex. I'm your host, Malik. And I'm your host, Tachi. And we are talking about the mummy, but not just any mummy. We're talking about Lee Cronin's The Mummy. Important distinction to be made here.
00:01:17
Speaker
There's no Brendan. Do guys know who made this? I can't find it anywhere. think his name's Keith. Keith Lee Cronin's The Mummy.
00:01:29
Speaker
I love that that Neon even tweeted, Brendan Fraser is not in Lee Cronin's The Mummy.
00:01:37
Speaker
They had to put out a PSA to let people know. Was there not a ah different title you could pick? You just know that someone missed all of that and still went thinking like, we're back, baby. That is some type of sequel.
00:01:53
Speaker
The Rock. And it doesn't help that I think we are getting a The Mummy recall. We are. right Oh, yeah.
00:02:03
Speaker
Yeah. So if they saw that news, they're like, oh, it's here already. They're in for a rude awakening.
Lee Cronin's Rapid Review Segment
00:02:10
Speaker
Before we get into Lee k Cronin's The Mummy, let's get into Lee Cronin's movie news.
00:02:15
Speaker
Wait, we have Lee Cronin's Rapid Review first. Oh, Lee Cronin's Rapid Review. I totally forgot. Okay. How dare you. All right. Our first segment, Lee Cronin's Rapid Review. Who wants to go first?
00:02:26
Speaker
can go first. I rewatched Interstellar ah pretty recently. Nice. And it just, it's so much better. After watching 2001, out of five. to five Interstellar is a great movie.
00:02:40
Speaker
ah My rapid review, I recently watched Pizza Movie directed by Nick Kosher and Brian Michelaney. This stars Gaten Matarazzo of Stranger Things fame and Sean Jambrone.
00:02:52
Speaker
um This is a comedy set in a college dorm room of two characters who get high and need to go downstairs to get their pizza. It's a fun enough time. i gave it a two and a half out of five.
00:03:06
Speaker
Not all the jokes landed. It's a little corny, but it could be a just for a put on a dumb movie in the background. Be entertained for 95 minutes.
00:03:17
Speaker
I come to you on this day for a rapid review asking your asking you for forgiveness because when I watched 1987's The All-Nighter, I was a different man.
00:03:31
Speaker
And I've since seen the error of my ways. And I'm hoping to make change. Three out of ten. That bad? it was really bad. What is the
Avengers Doomsday Trailer Reaction
00:03:43
Speaker
all-nighter? All right, look, I'm a simple guy. All right.
00:03:48
Speaker
It's got to cover.
00:03:51
Speaker
Got to go look at this. A little on point. Because you know the band, the Bangles, Walk Like an Egyptian? Yeah. Hmm? So their their lead singer, Susanna Hoffs, is just stunning.
00:04:09
Speaker
And I'm weak. And so i so when I saw that she starred in a movie her mom directed, was like, this this there's no way this can be bad. It was really bad.
00:04:22
Speaker
It's almost like it's so close to being a bit, but it's dead serious. You are the only person on my letterboxd who has logged this. Same. Who has touched it. who's it's an It's no one's list.
00:04:36
Speaker
Hmm. Okay. I will not be watching. Thank you.
00:04:41
Speaker
All right, now let's get to Lee Cronin's movie news. Ready? Yep. Okay, before you take your headphones off, Tachi, listener, last night at CinemaCon, the Avengers Doomsday trailer was shown.
00:04:53
Speaker
Tachi wants to avoid any and all spoilers, so he will be unplugging while I read the description. If you, the listener, also don't want to know, and the trailer is not out yet by the time you're listening to this, go ahead and skip forward two minutes.
00:05:11
Speaker
Two minutes. Okay. Skip forward. Yeah. Two minutes. Cause we've got just to be safe. Just to be safe. Yeah. I'll give you, I'll give you thumbs up when you're safe. All right. All right. We should just totally give him a thumbs up. know doing Like they're dead. They're dead. They're all fucking dead. Okay. He noticed. He knows what we're doing.
Critique of Infinity Vision Marketing
00:05:31
Speaker
All right. Here is the exclusive footage footage description, and this comes from Discussing Film. ah The trailer opens on Professor x Xavier watching an energy rift from inside the X-Mansion, which is in shambles.
00:05:43
Speaker
The famous egg savior school for gifted youngsters sign lying in rubble. We then see Robert Downey Jr. unmasked as Victor Von Doom talking in his Latverian accent teasing that something is coming that cannot be stopped.
00:05:56
Speaker
After the studio logo, the newly completed Avengers Tower is shown with a fresh red and white A logo on the building. The Fantastic Four meet with Sam Wilson's division of the Avengers. Some alliances are forged as we are shown the Thing trying to join forces with the Wakandans.
00:06:12
Speaker
Shuri and Dembaku are seen
Film Premises: Minions and Monsters, Top Gun 3, Call of Duty
00:06:14
Speaker
trying to make peace with Namor and the Atlanteans. Tensions rise as some of the fight scenes between our heroes are shown. Channing Tatum and Gambit battle Shang-Chi with his purple-powered staff being able to hold off the Ten Rings.
00:06:27
Speaker
A huge money shot comes with Yelena coming face-to-face with Mystique from the original Fox movies, sporting a new haircut and a white comic-accurate costume, who we see morph into Florence Pugh before they fight.
00:06:40
Speaker
In a major beat of the trailer, Thor tries to strike down Doom with Stormbreaker, using all of his power to summon lightning, but Doom can easily stop it with just the palm of his hand.
00:06:50
Speaker
Throughout the trailer, Thor is begging other characters to put their quarrels aside because he explains that he's had friends and allies die at the hands of enemies who are less powerful than Doom. He is very clearly afraid and claims that they need America.
00:07:04
Speaker
Thor then looks to a character off screen and says, it can't be. He holds out Mjolnir, which then flies into Steve Rogers' hands before the title card concludes the trailer. That sounds so bad. That sounds like fan fiction. Horrible. That they just got a bunch of fans. They're just like, okay, what is ah how are we going to make these action figures fight? That sounds terrible.
00:07:29
Speaker
What are we doing? I think... They're scared. And we we can talk about this when Tachi takes off his head or when he comes back. But ah that sounds just like the worst.
00:07:41
Speaker
there' It's Marvel. Secret Wars could never come out after this. oh OK, I think we can bring him back. we'll We'll still talk about it. we'll We'll tell him how maybe how we feel about it.
00:07:53
Speaker
OK, can you hear that? Do you want to know how we feel about it? Are you OK with that? I think I may have read your lips on that one. What is, okay. What did, what do you think? What'd you see?
00:08:05
Speaker
I saw something like Steve Rogers says, what are we? Some sort of Avengers. the That is said. And then
Podcast Anniversary Reflections
00:08:16
Speaker
Dr. Doom rips his head off.
00:08:20
Speaker
Do you want to know how we feel about it or no? We can move on. I feel like we're going to get this trailer in the next episode. Two weeks, right? It has to be. It has to be at this point. like Especially with their whole Infinity Vision bit. Oh God. they just started building hype.
00:08:38
Speaker
Yeah. Let's start by that now. The Infinity Vision? Has there ever been a corporate decision like that in film that just was pure cope? It's cope to the highest degree. It's hilarious.
00:08:53
Speaker
It's literally just slapping a sticker on a Dolby screen and being like, this is better than IMAX, actually. So for those that aren't familiar, Disney recently announced that
Initial Reactions to Lee Cronin's The Mummy
00:09:05
Speaker
Doomsday, and I think they're doing an endgame re-release, um will be shown on...
00:09:11
Speaker
was it What was it called? Infinity Vision. Infinity Vision Screens, which is Disney certified screens that have like the best picture, the best sound, yada, yada, yada. All this because if you remember in earlier episodes, we talked about doing three and doomsday releasing on the same day.
00:09:31
Speaker
Dune 3 got all of the IMAX screens and instead of it sounds like Disney tried to pressure Dune into moving. Dune didn't move. Disney is not moving.
00:09:41
Speaker
Now Disney has certified screens to see this in the best format possible. I'm doing air quotes. It's not. It's people don't fall for it, please. It's just a gimmick.
00:09:53
Speaker
It got no reaction. yeah Yeah, it did get a reaction. just got clowned on. with like, yeah, look at the corporate company trying. Idiots.
00:10:04
Speaker
I mean,
Critique of The Mummy's Pacing and Horror Elements
00:10:06
Speaker
I'm almost as excited for Dune 3, or I'm almost, yeah, I'm as excited for Dune 3 as i am for the continuing battle between these two movies.
00:10:17
Speaker
Yeah. Like, Dune is winning, and they have all the momentum. Yep. I've seen no one in what in the wild talk about a venture to Avengers Doomsday.
00:10:30
Speaker
I think what's sad is this does feel like a Barbie Oppenheimer situation, but we're pitting two queens against each other. I'm only saying that Doomsday is a queen because it's cinema at the end of the day, but it's going to be kind of exciting to watch. Well, is the all-nighter and Lee Cronin's the all-nighter.
00:10:50
Speaker
I'll just say this. I got to see this trailer with my own eyes. Yeah, I agree. Not that I don't believe it because that is 100% what happens.
00:11:01
Speaker
People saw this trailer last night, but I got to see it. Got to see it to believe it. The fact that Godzilla minus one did way less in its trailer and garnered as much hype as it did is just crazy.
00:11:17
Speaker
Well, that shot next to the Statue of Liberty. Amazing. I've seen theories that there's two. Oh yeah, by the way, people, you're going to hear our news out of order because we can't plan.
00:11:29
Speaker
So all of the news that like happened before this, like the Godzilla Minus One trailer release and Avatar and all that, you'll hear about on May fifth no No, no, This episode comes out Tuesday, the 21st.
00:11:43
Speaker
So it's the most up to date. no, no. I know. But I'm saying all of the stuff that we talked about the last time
Praise for Detective Sequences
00:11:50
Speaker
we filmed, like Godzilla minus one trailer or my minus zero trailers release, Avatar, all that. Oh, I get what you mean. yeah Yes. Yeah. So you're going to have things a little bit backdated and we're like, wait, what the fuck is wrong with these guys?
00:12:03
Speaker
I think we timestamped our or recording. I hope so. I think we did. Yeah, a we we did. But you it's just going be a little goofy for sure. Goofy at a time. well so Silly goofy guys. Silly geese.
00:12:18
Speaker
Silly geese men. Wait, so what are they going to be two of? hu hu Oh, I think I've seen theories that there might be two Godzillas like in the movie. Oh, two big lizards. Cool.
00:12:29
Speaker
We'll see. That'd be neat. What's next? I believe I am next with a little bit of film news about everybody's favorite.
00:12:41
Speaker
And it's loading.
00:12:45
Speaker
Why didn't I just write it out? so
Script and Dialogue Criticism
00:12:47
Speaker
Linking the tweet. It's still loading. Minions and Monsters is set in the 1920s and is described as a celebration of the birth of cinema.
00:13:01
Speaker
Now, this actually retcons the lore a little bit because from the ah before this, the minions were in a cave in Siberia from the Battle of Waterloo to the they canonically wouldn't so they canonically wouldn't have helped Hitler.
00:13:22
Speaker
What? So now they've retconned it. Because like the minions, they help evil people, right? I mean, that's their whole shtick. You're talking about Gru? Yeah, I'm talking Gru's minions. Yeah, so they've been around for like forever. And like Alex is saying, their whole thing was they always help.
00:13:38
Speaker
I think they help like the most not the most evil person, but they just help evil people. And so if they've been alive this long, people are like, okay, did they help this person? Did they help this person? Did they help Hitler?
00:13:49
Speaker
And so Alex is they retconned it. Yeah, not Disney. Illumination was like, her Dream or whoever made this movie. think Illumination. There's a big gap where they were apparently like frozen in a cave in Siberia or something. to not help Hitler during that time. They did not help Hitler. But now they've retconned it. Hitler's back on the table.
00:14:07
Speaker
Because now they've... they They were around in the twenty s Hey, from what I've heard with this movie is it's going to be like a big tribute to the creature features of, of early cinema. So like your Frankensteins and Draculas.
00:14:26
Speaker
I've never seen that. Sure. That's on the table. Minions addressing some heavy topics there. Yeah. I don't think it's too young to teach your kids about birth of a nation.
00:14:38
Speaker
Anyway. Top Gun 3, I guess. I hope it works. We got to get Tachi Twitter.
Tension and Gore Elements
00:14:49
Speaker
Top Gun 3 is in development. Right. And Tom Cruise is going in it again. um He's a little bit older now. He's going to be, what, four years older than Maverick?
00:15:01
Speaker
He's already getting up there. Yeah. How long can Mr. Cruise keep doing this? I don't know. I got a question. Okay. So in The Enemy, the first movie was the Soviets.
00:15:13
Speaker
Sure. In Maverick, it was clearly Iran.
00:15:19
Speaker
Was it clear?
00:15:23
Speaker
A country that was developing a nuclear weapon, an unnamed country that was developing a nuclear weapon that had mountains where it was hiding said nuclear facility also off the coast...
00:15:38
Speaker
And randomly has fifth gen fighters. I mean, i love my propaganda movies. So my question is, yeah, and like these, these movies rip,
Lighting and Setting Flaws
00:15:48
Speaker
like I'm not, not going to pretend they're not propaganda, but they rip, they rip.
00:15:51
Speaker
they're They're like, they're great.
00:15:56
Speaker
What country are we attacking in top gun three? I don't think it's a country. I think it's ourselves. That would be nuts. Yeah. ah It's going to be like Toy Story 5.
00:16:11
Speaker
The enemy is an iPad. m But that was like, that was dead reckoning. It is dead reckoning. That is dead reckoning. What if it's Canada? I need to see how Canada would be portrayed.
00:16:24
Speaker
According to some sources, they're they're not our best neighbors. They're pretty evil. We could do, so it'll be Top Gun 3. You know that movie Neighbors with Zac Efron and Seth Rogen?
00:16:37
Speaker
Mm-hmm. That, but us in Canada? Yeah. Just endless pranks on each other via fighter jet?
00:16:47
Speaker
I'm in. Sure, that sounds fun. um Malik, you got the next one. Clash of Clans released like a ah foot bundle. Yeah.
00:16:59
Speaker
this This was tweeted by like some of the accounts we look that tweet the movie news, and this was at the top of the page today.
00:17:09
Speaker
I've never played Clash of Clans. I've never downloaded that on my phone. I don't know what the feet bundle is. paul he doesn't know what the feet bundle is, guys. Lugan Malik, he doesn't know what the feet bundle is. I don't know what the feet bundle is. Have either of y'all played Clash of Clans before?
00:17:25
Speaker
No, but I watched someone play it once on like a bus. Tachi, what is this game? What is it? ah You basically, I don't know. i haven't played in like 15 years, but you you build a base ah forever.
00:17:37
Speaker
You just your build, you just continue to improve it over time. You're defending it, I guess, against other clans? Yeah. Okay. So where does the feat come into play? You can get raided, I don't know.
00:17:50
Speaker
i I mean, I didn't i don't know. i didn't look too into it. don't anything about feet. Actually, i kind of know a lot about feet because I worked at a podiatrist's office. Oh, you did? I was a medical assistant.
00:18:03
Speaker
I saw some gnarly stuff. What year was that? Was that like 16, 17? That was 2018. 18? Yeah, it was like eight eight months.
00:18:15
Speaker
I remember that that maze. I don't remember if we were roommates at that time, but I would ask you all the time, and like, what did you see today? I've got some war stories. Yeah. Yeah. Malik, you remember Tachi's foot phase? I do remember Tachi's foot phase. Yeah, I had a foot phase, guys.
00:18:33
Speaker
I won't lie. Haven't we all?
00:18:41
Speaker
Alex, you're up. Selena Gomez has been cast in Brady Corbett of the brutalist fame. Next film described as a four hour NC 17 rated film focused on the history of the occult in America.
00:19:02
Speaker
What could possibly possibly be in this movie that Selena Gomez is also in?
00:19:13
Speaker
No
Mixed Feelings and Final Thoughts
00:19:14
Speaker
idea. I'm trying to think if I've ever even seen any NC-17 movies to at least frame of reference it. I don't know that I have. I have seen Selena Gomez act, and this is a crime.
00:19:32
Speaker
Could her acting be described as NC-17? Not safe for children? It's not safe for anybody. So apparently... I found a list, and this is a letterbox list some guy made. NC-17 rated films by the MPAA since 1990. E2
00:19:53
Speaker
e two Mama Tambien, Requiem for a Dream, Eyes Wide Shut, South Park, Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, Boogie Nights, Scream... Blue Valentine, which, okay.
00:20:06
Speaker
ah Saw, Kill Bill, American Psycho, Boondock Saints, american and I sorted this by ranked highest to lowest. Okay. American Pie, Pulp Fiction, Killer Joe, Bruno.
00:20:22
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, you kind of get it. So it's either going to be a lot of gratuitous killing or hog. it could go either way oh no or both or both fowlx is lucky i like the brutalist i really like the brutalist and very much looking forward to his next project i i really liked it as well i thought it didn't quite stick the landing i agree i think the second half after the intermission is the weaker half of the two
00:21:00
Speaker
It's still really good, but that first one is just like, especially leading up to the intermission, whoa, that high was insane. oh So I'm excited for this movie.
00:21:10
Speaker
I'm just very much questioning the casting of Selena Gomez. Tachi, you had some choice words for Selena Gomez before this. i I just think her acting's pretty flat.
00:21:23
Speaker
Yes. And um could use some zhuzh. Here we go. Here's my Selena Gomez impression. Ready? Yeah.
00:21:32
Speaker
Okay, well, guys, have we really considered all of our options here? I mean, come on. Is that ah only motors in the building?
00:21:43
Speaker
I don't know. i was just Those were just words off the top off the dome, you know? Oh. You guys ready hear my Selena Gomez impression? Yeah. I'm just like her. Hey, I'm Selena Gomez. How you doing?
00:21:55
Speaker
good Alex also sounds just like her. Alright, last thing. The Call of Duty movie will release on June 30th, 2028 in theaters. Peter Berg, I don't know who he is, is set to direct with a script co-written by Taylor Sheridan. I don't know who he is.
00:22:13
Speaker
Peter Berg is an American director and film producer who directed such hits as... Hancock. Okay. Deepwater Horizon. Mile 22.
00:22:23
Speaker
And our favorite that we were just talking about. Battleship starring Rihanna. Okay. So bros qualified. and He keeps getting hired. That's true.
00:22:36
Speaker
He also did Friday Night Lights. The movie or the show? He directed the movie. I think he produced the show. The movie was pretty all right.
00:22:50
Speaker
Oh, my God. What? This is how I find out that there's a a revival of Friday Night Lights greenlit on Peacock. Oh, goody.
00:23:00
Speaker
Time to ruin another thing. Why do we keep ruining stuff? Okay, he did develop the show. So... And it's one of my favorites. so I guess I can't be too... It's going to be Dogwater, though. I mean...
00:23:16
Speaker
Wait, this or Call of Duty? Both. Call of Duty. Okay. So Terry Sheridan is the creator of Yellowstone? And... It's... And Heller Highwater and Wind River.
00:23:31
Speaker
And he wrote the first Sicario. Oh. And he... So he did all of the Yellowstone shows. Landman, Tulsa King, Mayor of Easttown.
00:23:44
Speaker
No.
00:23:47
Speaker
No, mayor Mayor of Kingstown. ah There's Mayor of Easttown and that's something else. Yeah. Mayor of Kingstown with Jeremy Renner. Okay. he I used to love Taylor Sheridan and then he took on like 800,000 projects at once and he doesn't use a writer's room and it's just all slop.
00:24:14
Speaker
I will say 1883 was a really good Western miniseries. Okay. Like the Yellowstone prequel. yeah That's pretty good. The first season of 1923 is really good until like the very end. And I still have yet to see the the second season, but I was entertained.
00:24:31
Speaker
That's all that matters at the end of the day, regardless. Yeah. Movie's going to suck. Most likely. Yeah, we already had it. And if you want to hear our review on the Call Duty movie, listen to our war episode where we talk about Act Valor.
00:24:48
Speaker
That's a throwback. That's throwback. Yeah, that is. Wow, we have throwbacks now, guys. Cool. Wait. was like our second or third episode. third episode. I got to look something up real quick.
00:24:59
Speaker
i know what you're looking up. We've been doing this for over a year. Yeah, when did we release our first episode? Yeah. We have been doing this for over a year. We definitely started in April. m Let me organize this by oldest news and see if I can get a date.
00:25:14
Speaker
Actually, we'll just go on Instagram. Sorry, listener. Bear with me. This is important. You're the one listening to us.
00:25:24
Speaker
Imagine.
00:25:27
Speaker
Guys, two days ago was our one-year anniversary, April 15th. Look at that. Wow. Congrats to us. Here's to another year.
00:25:39
Speaker
Hopefully we don't mummify this podcast. Let's get into Lee Cronin's The Mummy. You guys ready? Sure. All right. To kick things off, I wanted to read off just a few fun facts about mummies, because I actually think mummies are interesting.
00:25:57
Speaker
Are these Lee Cronin's mummies? These are all of Lee Cronin's mummies. Okay. Ten shocking facts about Lee k Cronin's mummies. Cool. um In ancient Egyptian mummification, onions were sometimes used to fill body cavities, often serving as false eyes.
00:26:13
Speaker
Nasty. Nasty. there's a reason we don't like onions, Dachi. I love onions. ah King Ramses II is the first mummy to receive a passport. His passport lists his occupation as king.
00:26:27
Speaker
Same. Wow. During mummification in ancient Egypt, internal organs were removed through a long incision on the left side of the body. The priest who made the incision was known as the slicer or the ripper.
00:26:41
Speaker
Wow. Sounds fun. Last one. According to Egyptian lore, the god Osiris was the very first mummy. Osiris, Lee Cronin's first mummy.
00:26:55
Speaker
Look at that. All right. Let's get into our letterboxd. those Osiris shoes that people would wear in like middle school? Yes. No. Those were crazy. thats I have a very specific image of a boy that I went to middle school with in my mind.
00:27:09
Speaker
His name was Redacted. okay Was it you? It was not me. I swear to God. Was it... No. Mini you? No, it was not. It was literally like ah kid in my class.
00:27:23
Speaker
He wore Osiris shoes, baggy shorts, and... Always these graphic tees, but he had a choice of backpacks and it was always the Cookie Monster or Elmo or he'd have a Cookie Monster hat or an Elmo hat.
00:27:41
Speaker
you And like just that whole vibe, you know, it was the Cookie. It was the the Sesame Street apparel paired with the Osiris shoes. That was the whole vibe.
00:27:53
Speaker
Yeah, that sounds like 2009. Right? Yeah. Simpler times. Truly. Better times now that we now that we look back at it. Let's get into our Letterboxd Love Like Loathe. Tachi has our five star, I have a three, and Alex has our one.
00:28:10
Speaker
This is a five star coming in. Lee Cronin's The Idiot. Split Diopters, The Mummy. This movie was everything I wanted it to be, and I cannot wait to watch it again.
00:28:22
Speaker
Such a gross and fun time. Shocked that I had nail clippers with me while watching. What a freak. Who brings nail clippers to the theater? and Wait, yeah, why do they have nail clippers?
00:28:34
Speaker
Don't worry about it. I'm in the theater clipping my toenails.
00:28:39
Speaker
This three star comes in from Jonathan Fuji. Yeah, I don't care how long my daughter is missing. If that is how you found her, keep her, bro. Oh my God. Our one star comes from Barnabas Kokai.
00:28:55
Speaker
First of all, if it's AI, keep it up. Make a bunch of this. We're safe and sound. But every real person who had anything to do with this should never be allowed anywhere near the film industry again.
00:29:14
Speaker
Wow. um Before I read the synopsis and the cast, do we remember what trailers played before? Was there anything of note? i think the last one was pretty interesting. It started out with the window.
00:29:27
Speaker
Oh, it was the the something on Oak Street. Oh, the last house on Oak Street? Yeah. yeah Looks so sick. That looks pretty interesting. I'm very excited for that.
00:29:38
Speaker
What about the obsession? Obsession looks really interesting. I heard it got good reviews out of South by. um Yeah, look at obsession. It's directed by Curry Barker.
00:29:51
Speaker
If you look him up, Tachi, let me know if you've seen him on TikTok, but it's him and his buddy and they'd make like all these TikToks together. And like now they've got a feature horror film coming out. thats true He started getting a lot of buzz last year because he they released like a 20 minute short film on YouTube, a horror short.
00:30:07
Speaker
That was actually pretty good. um And I think this is like his first feature and it looks kind of awesome. I'm not going to lie. Wow. I'm intrigued by it. I'm intrigued by it. Currently four to five on Letterboxd and 96% on Rotten Tomatoes.
00:30:20
Speaker
Wow. That'd be cool. So Obsession, Last House on Oak Street. I wanted to see the trailer for evil dead rise, the sequel to the latest evil dead.
00:30:34
Speaker
apparently Evil dead rise was the one in 2023. I don't remember the name of what this is. Directed by Lee Cronin. Yeah. I don't remember what the name of the sequel is that's coming out, but we didn't get that trailer. I don't remember what other trailers did we were there. That's only a few.
00:30:48
Speaker
Yeah. They weren't really memorable. Okay, except for those two. Yeah. Yeah, but at least I wouldn't remember them. he's Oh, Mortal Kombat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We got to talk about that.
00:31:00
Speaker
Go ahead. It looks amazing. And you're a fool. It looks fun. Come on, Malik. It looks fun. Malik, you like enough bad movies that I'm really surprised you don't think it at least look fun. I know, but I don't know. It doesn't even look fun to me.
00:31:13
Speaker
That's crazy. what's his face as Johnny Cage? ewey Yeah, just following this. Yeah, following Johnny Cage just is not what I would want from a Mortal Kombat movie. I don't know if that's what happens in the ones from the 90s.
00:31:31
Speaker
I don't know. here we what happens and then what do you mean oh like if the one if the ones in the 90s also follow a similar structure of like having the narrative story follow like johnny cage is that his name yeah johnny cage yeah like is he like the protagonist in the older movies this is just the way that we're going this time around just the way that we're going i'm not i'm not with it get me get me off this road iowi Wait, he he I think literally is the protagonist.
00:32:03
Speaker
Well, yeah, I got that in the trailer. No, but I'm saying in the old ones, the first two people, the first two characters listed on Letterboxd for the 95 Mortal Kombat is Liu Kang and Johnny Cage.
00:32:16
Speaker
He's he's a really important character in the first movie and the second movie. Not so much.
00:32:23
Speaker
I'll watch it and we'll talk about it for sure. we should watch the OG. I love it. I've seen it a million times. we'll we'll double We'll pair it with those. Whoa, Tachi. Okay, yeah. we We do need to talk about this because Mortal Kombat Annihilation yeah is at a 3 out of 10 on Letterboxd. 1.5 out of 5. Tachi has it as a 6 out of 10.
00:32:47
Speaker
And I have it on DVD. 3 out of 5. You have Mortal Kombat Annihilation on DVD. I do. It probably doesn't deserve a six out seven.
00:32:57
Speaker
But the first one is actually really good. And by really good, I mean really fun. That's fair. what i hope it's good.
00:33:10
Speaker
What about ninety ninety four s Immortal
00:33:14
Speaker
um heard of it. Two police officers discover an island laboratory where a mad woman is turning martial artists into super killers. Wow. This is the poster.
00:33:26
Speaker
Oh, that looks sick. That is reminiscent of the three ninjas.
00:33:32
Speaker
All right. Here's the synopsis for Lee Cronin's The Mummy.
00:33:38
Speaker
impeccable segue thank you the young daughter of a journalist disappears into the desert without a trace eight years later the broken family is shocked when she is returned to them as what should be a joyful reunion turns into a living nightmare and this stars Jack Rayner Laya Costa May Calamoy Natalie Grace and Shiloh Molina um okay Lee Cronin's the mummy mm-hmm So Lee k Cronin is a newer director.
00:34:11
Speaker
He's got a few short films under his belt, this one included, but he came to fame with his Evil Dead Rise movie in 2023. I had a great time with that movie. I don't know if you guys have seen it.
00:34:23
Speaker
no I like the Evil Dead series. i was excited for this new one. It's got an insane title card opening, and it's just an hour and a half of crazy gore, fun times, scares.
00:34:36
Speaker
So it's actually kind of looking forward to the mummy.
00:34:40
Speaker
I hadn't seen the trailer. I just knew it Lee Cronin. It's the mummy. So I was excited. What were you guys feeling leading up to this movie? Nothing. i didn't know. i didn't know who this man was. i hadn't seen the trailer. I didn't know anything.
00:34:56
Speaker
I saw one trailer and I thought it would be horrible. I was just like, this is going to be terrible. I think I even said when we bought the tickets, this is going to be dog water.
00:35:07
Speaker
How do we feel about it? did you Do we think it's dog water?
00:35:12
Speaker
I kind of know how Alex feels about it. Tachi, you're the one most in the dark. so I've been trying to hide my reaction. I'm excited to get into it. I'll start with my general feelings. um When this movie is on, it's on.
00:35:26
Speaker
Yes. This is a very long movie at 133 minutes. It is way too long. i thought this Really long. I thought this thing was going to be an hour and 40 minutes. And I was like, I'm goingnna have dinner at a normal hour.
00:35:40
Speaker
And I'm not going to feed into Alamo's order during the movie thing. ordered during the movie. Yep. This movie should have been an hour and a half, hour 40, like you were saying. Yep. No need for this to be two hours. And there's a lot of times in this movie where that is felt.
00:35:56
Speaker
The times when we're not getting scared and seeing the gore, I just found kind of excruciating and a bore to get through. Right.
00:36:08
Speaker
But when it's on, it's on. When it's on, it's on. I think that... so mean what My thoughts are this. I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. In fact, I think I went in with such low expectations that I was entertained.
00:36:22
Speaker
I wasn't like pulling my hair out the entire time. I think when this movie is a thriller, when it's like a detective movie thriller, which there's a decent chunk of it where it is, that's the best bit yeah by far.
00:36:37
Speaker
The rest of it is derivative horror trash that didn't land. Yes. ah Actually, trash is a strong word. um It's very derivative. It clearly lifts off of two things.
00:36:53
Speaker
One of them is way obvious. The other one I don't think is very obvious. um But it's a recent enough movie that I... i picked up on it.
00:37:04
Speaker
guess Yeah, take a guess. First one, obviously The Exorcist. Yep. Second one, recent? Within like the last three years now? Three years?
00:37:18
Speaker
Interesting. We went and saw it together. Interesting. Just you and me. I don't know why I thought The Substance. Not a Substance. Okay.
00:37:30
Speaker
What? It Lives Inside, the Indian horror one. Oh, yeah. It's the same thing. It's it's it's the same bit. is it's It ends exactly the same way.
00:37:42
Speaker
And it's not a very scary movie. like It doesn't do the horror. like it I don't think at one point I was ever jump scared. There's a couple gore things that did get me. One particular, which we will get into. yeah I think we all reacted to it. But this is not like I did not find this a scary movie. In fact, there were more times that I laughed during it.
00:38:01
Speaker
Yeah. Then was was spooked by it. It's yeah. You know. it's so it's i think we're going to talk about this for a bit. So I'll pass it to you. Have you gotten any thoughts?
00:38:15
Speaker
Yeah. ah I'm generally kind of a wuss when it comes to horror. And I was not scared a single time. Like not even a little bit. Um, a lot of, going to go you during spooktober again.
00:38:29
Speaker
Every year he's getting cooked. Just don't give me another Mr. Pipes. Um, yeah, it, it drags. Uh, there are, there is a sequence that I really enjoyed that we'll get into later, uh, with the tomb.
00:38:48
Speaker
Um, But other than that, it just really sucked. I did not have a good time and I could not wait to leave.
00:39:00
Speaker
it damn If I wasn't with you guys, I probably would have left early. what The script is really bad. It is. Painfully bad, painfully inconsistent. Like the the demon curse thing just never really acts...
00:39:17
Speaker
light I don't know. It's really strange. During my workout this morning, I was thinking about that, where I was like, it didn't make sense at all. Right. like Okay.
00:39:27
Speaker
ah First of all, how much do we want? I mean, do you want to throw the spoiler tag up now? Let's throw the spoiler tag up now. Listeners, we are throwing the Lee Cronin spoiler tag up on this bit of the podcast. If you have not seen the movie and you want to, um i would suggest...
00:39:44
Speaker
Going back and listening to our Exorcist episode because basically this movie is trying to be the Exorcist. So go for it. I think I've said go back and listen to the Exorcist episode like four times. So let's not do that. Go back and listen to... Nope, we did... Oh no, we're going to do... Malik said go back and listen to Ghostwatch in the future.
00:40:06
Speaker
it did say that. so Go back and listen to Spooktober. Just go back to October. yeah do a
00:40:16
Speaker
Yeah, do our spook. I don't know. Just go pick one, dude. I don't know. let's Get a crib. Just go see the movie, man. Why'd you click on this?
00:40:28
Speaker
All right. So just high level. Here is the how this curse works.
00:40:40
Speaker
There's this mummy that when it wakes up, it has to be transferred to a new body, right? Yep. Except...
00:40:54
Speaker
When it's alive and being out of the tomb, half the time it doesn't even even do anything.
00:41:01
Speaker
Like, it just goes up and down in terms of, like, how it feels like doing stuff. Right. Because it... at Spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, at the end of the movie it goes into a new person and...
00:41:13
Speaker
he doesn't do anything. He just waits to go into the next one. So like, what's the big deal? yeah And then he's just like joshing around, like as he's the daughter pulling pranks on the family, terrorizing them.
00:41:29
Speaker
But I'm like, what is what is this demon's goal at the end of the day? And I was thinking the same thing. And especially once we got to the end, I think the end,
00:41:40
Speaker
Makes this lose whatever steam it had like completely. It makes no sense. Like why does it have to be in the tomb? Clearly, if you kept it in like an area, it won't leave.
00:41:52
Speaker
Yeah. Right. It may get dusty. May get a little dusty. That's it. It's just weird. If you jump back to the beginning of the film.
00:42:04
Speaker
when it's possessing the mom and she's she's trapping Katie and she's like, where's your mother or mom? That's the word. The curse goes from that to not knowing what the word mom is to then saying, i don't think she was possessed. I just thought it was like a language barrier thing.
00:42:26
Speaker
Oh, I thought she was possessed. you You're just racist. Well, keep going with your thought. Okay, I guess the the mom wasn't possessed. I thought she was.
00:42:37
Speaker
But she goes from, oh mom, that's the word, to I'm going to butcher the quote, but she's like, give me them piggies whatever. And just starts licking some toes from underneath the door.
00:42:51
Speaker
i kind of see where you're coming from. i guess that was just like and ah a barrier thing, but like the mother or I think you mean mom. Like I did think that was a really weird line. So I thought something was like off demon wise from her because even if it was like a language barrier thing, that,
00:43:09
Speaker
Correction doesn't make sense. yeah we We learned a lot today about how Tachi Malik feel about people speaking other languages. are Not everyone speaks English, guys, right?
00:43:21
Speaker
No. But they should. um
00:43:29
Speaker
So with the the demon, okay. So they're doing... They just got to do this chant to get the demon out of the body. Right. I'm a little confused on how long the demon needs to stay in a body before it needs to be transferred. Because it seems like that's kind of loose.
00:43:46
Speaker
And it seems like it can either be by time or by chance. But when the time comes, you have to chant. But you could also chant out of time to get the demon out. And i just want to know what the family's goal was in getting, I know what their goal was to get the demon into the mom now, getting it out of the the dad.
00:44:05
Speaker
What's stopping that mom from leaving that jail cell? She was only hooked up by like a single chain on that bed. This demon's going to terrorize the world. i
00:44:20
Speaker
I just, there's so much that I don't understand. um But let's talk about the good. Let's go back to the good. The detective sequences with the cop in Egypt.
00:44:33
Speaker
Yes. Played by Mae Kalamoy, Detective Dalia Zaki. Yeah. Those were awesome parts in this. Yeah. They were... I really enjoyed them. Yeah, we went Exorcist meets Zodiac for a little bit, and I was like, I was on board with it.
00:44:48
Speaker
um I've seen Mae Kalamoy in a couple shows, most notably. Tachi, did you watch Moon Knight? Yeah. Yeah, she's got the wings like at the very end. um But she was fun in that show.
00:45:03
Speaker
Yeah, the detective sequences I thought were really cool, and there should have been more of that. um I will say it is very apparent early on that The Exorcist is a very big inspiration for this, but I was not mad at it.
00:45:21
Speaker
For like the first 20 minutes, it takes a while to get going, but I was kind of like in it. Like I was kind of locked into the movie. I wasn't mad either. Same. Yeah. In fact, when it wasn't trying to be like jump scary, it was that was when it was at its best.
00:45:37
Speaker
It's like, what happened to this kid? What did they do to him? And how can you fix it? And the rest of the movie is just freaky.
00:45:50
Speaker
As soon as I saw the grandma, I knew she was cooked. Like the second she came on screen, she I knew she was dead. She was disposable from the beginning. 100%.
00:46:02
Speaker
She was too funny. Her swag too tough. Her drip too. They'll kill you.
00:46:11
Speaker
But yeah, before I dog on this movie some more, um that part in the house at the farm when ah the cop is exploring and going through the tunnels, it was actually pretty tense.
00:46:24
Speaker
Yeah. I wouldn't say i was on the edge of my seat. But it woke me up. i was I was really excited to see what happens next. That was really cool. and And it looked great.
00:46:36
Speaker
The lighting was really... There was one bit, though, and I leaned over and I said this to Malik, and I can't remember it you, Tachi. There was one bit where it's like, this was clearly filmed in, like, Southern California. Yeah. It was like, they slapped the yellow filter in, like, Egypt. It's like, no, that's like outside of Fresno, dude. was when she pulled up to that house, was like, those are just vineyards.
00:47:02
Speaker
This is not Cairo. To add on to that, I think I kind of understand the racist things because the whole movie Egypt is just depicted as this dirty, dusty, no electricity place.
00:47:19
Speaker
I don't know that I saw a single working light bulb in any of the Cairo scenes. Like why was the police station so dark? Why was the cop working in some back closet?
00:47:31
Speaker
Fibes. And it just, it doesn't make sense to me. And like the interrogation room, crazy dark.
00:47:41
Speaker
I don't get it. i feel like, I feel like that's more, i I mean, not to, I haven't given any ounce of thought to where I think this movie is racist or not. Isn't the dark lighting and interrogation room like a trope?
00:47:53
Speaker
It's a trope. Yeah, like that's, I feel like that's, but it just looks like it couldn't have been lighter. It just looks like they don't have light bulbs. I'll give you that. It went from trope to like, how dark can we get this? Right. I'll get i'll give you that. I mean, it's it's it's a dark movie, I think, as a whole. Like, most of the house scenes are like yeah weirdly lit.
00:48:16
Speaker
um the The university is oddly lit. Oh, and when they're uncovering, those two Egyptian scientists are uncovering the tomb and taking the pictures.
00:48:27
Speaker
What kind of room is that? And there's no way that the the air quality or the environment in that room is set up to like peel peel layers off of a mummy.
00:48:43
Speaker
It's just not scientifically sound equipment. It can't be.
00:48:49
Speaker
ta Do you have a lot of archaeology experience, Tachi? Tons.
00:48:56
Speaker
I'm just finding things to complain about. But to to get to a real gripe... i I've been there. I love it when it's just like... You're pulling out the the scientific accuracy when you and complain about a movie. Because you're so pressed about it. I've been there with The Force Awakens.
00:49:16
Speaker
i mean I mean, The Last Jedi. We're not doing that today. I wanted to say... and Something that this movie does good um for a lot of its scenes is the tension building, especially that first sequence in the tomb with the with the first family that we're with when it's dark and she's kind of just like trying to like light the light the lighter to see if the the tomb is open. She's like, oh, just just open it just to crack.
00:49:38
Speaker
um I thought that was really effective and I thought that was a lot of fun. That's good Actually, I really liked the buildup to when she crawls through the...
00:49:50
Speaker
the floor when when the wake is happening i thought the build-up to that was actually pretty good and then nothing happens she attacks people the younger daughter plucks out her teeth shows them off i loved that i loved that bit it was so funny that was funny that smile It's just like the the timing of things never makes any sense. Like the the fallout of that should have been part of the movie.
00:50:21
Speaker
But then it just cuts to nighttime and everyone's acting like nothing happened. I unfortunately think for this movie, there were like too many cooks in the kitchen. There was a lot of ideas that none of them were like fully fleshed out. We're like talking about the detective sequences. and Like, oh, that was really cool.
00:50:38
Speaker
All these tension building scenes and like the wake. Like, I feel like you can build. a really good act around that entire thing and it kind of just goes nowhere. like Comparing it to Evil Dead Rise, like Evil Dead Rise was...
00:50:50
Speaker
if I'm not mistaken, like a one or two location, like feature film and like just this family getting terrorized by their demon mother. And this just felt like so big, like, like Lee Cronin got Lee Cronin's the budget and just kind of pulled out all stops. And I think, I think unfortunately it was just too inflated. There's too many ideas at once going on.
00:51:11
Speaker
I hate it when there's too many Lee Cronin's cooks in Lee Cronin's kitchen. Same.
00:51:19
Speaker
um Speaking of too many, the split diopter shots. So many. I love a good split diopter shot. I think there had to have been like 20 plus.
00:51:32
Speaker
Way too much. It needs to be treated as the novelty it is. Yeah. And I feel like it's becoming a little gimmicky. I say that as a fan of the shot.
00:51:45
Speaker
I will eat it up most times when I see it. But Lee Cronin, and if i've if I'm seeing this once every seven minutes in one movie, I'm going to be pissed.
00:51:57
Speaker
There was also like a hundred million jump cuts. Yeah. Yeah. Like Liam Neeson jumping over the fence level. Absurd in some parts. Yeah. And it's like if flashing back and forth from like the scene and like someone's mouth like.
00:52:14
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. my God. I, I, Oh, dude, stop. Can we talk about the score? I don't even remember anything. It was just constant screeching.
00:52:25
Speaker
it It almost felt like the entire runtime of the movie. There was one bit of the score with ah the daughter in the bed. i don't remember exactly where, but there was there was a couple points in this movie where I was just like, I thought the score was doing something really interesting.
00:52:41
Speaker
I'll have to go back and listen to it. um The score for me was not an issue. and it was There were a few parts where i was just like, oh, this is actually pretty cool. I think if you ever decide to watch this again, which I don't recommend, I probably won't.
00:52:55
Speaker
um The music is really nauseating. So so are the jump cuts to go back to that for a second, like the changing in the walls. That was awful to watch. Yeah. And it doesn't help that there's a lot on the screen, too, that's just actually genuinely nauseating.
00:53:11
Speaker
Something that this movie does well is there a couple... There's a couple absurd gore scenes. There's like one or two that, oh, they just get you. The nail clipping scene. yeah Okay, yeah. let's Let's discuss that a little bit.
00:53:23
Speaker
Let's do it. um That might have been like the most like visceral reaction I've had to something, i think, ever. I've lost a nail before. Like, clean, got completely ripped off. ah That was a particularly rough sequence for me.
00:53:39
Speaker
Actually, it's happened three times. That's insane. All within, like, a two-year span when I was a kid. The first one was and I think it was Germany. Maybe it was Germany.
00:53:51
Speaker
um i was wearing flip-flops. My mom opened the door to the post office right over my toe. Yeah.
00:54:01
Speaker
No, thank you. Hearing in that, Mom, I remember. I'll remember
00:54:09
Speaker
many years from now. so get on your good Get on your good behavior.
00:54:18
Speaker
um The shots of just heart clipping the nails. We're so effective and like so nasty. This movie nasty. It's nasty. It's gross. It's a gross movie.
00:54:31
Speaker
And I say that in a positive light. Like. I can also say it in a negative light. What's your negative take on it? the The coyotes were horrible.
00:54:44
Speaker
They looked ridiculous. What was that? That was a bit much. That was so dumb. Just let her fall out. they just But no, like when they were like standing there menacingly, like it looked like something out of like a video game. Red Dead Redemption 1.
00:55:00
Speaker
one Yeah, too many cooks. m there was There was no connection to the coyotes, to anything we had seen. Coyotes aren't even Egyptian.
00:55:11
Speaker
So they wouldn't even... They wouldn't buybe they wouldn't vibe check the mummy? No, they they wouldn't care. They don't care. Yeah, that kind of just felt like something to put in, like, ooh. Not even the coyotes like what's going on. They sense something's wrong.
00:55:25
Speaker
If anything, it should have been running away. the Her nail just... that It that was so bad. What else? A lot of black goo. There was a lot of black goo.
00:55:35
Speaker
For the nail thing? So... When I was at the podiatrist's office as a medical assistant, I clipped nails every day. it like There's a shocking amount of people who let their fungal nails get to a point where they're, instead of growing... Wait, pause, pause, pause.
00:55:56
Speaker
What? Fewer discretion is advised. Yeah. Continue. um Instead of their nails growing forward like healthy nails do, they grow upward. They thicken.
00:56:09
Speaker
And um you have to get like these special clippers to clip through, like industrial clippers to clip through these like half inch thick nails. What about like a Dremel tool?
00:56:22
Speaker
Yeah, you could use that to shave it down, which I use as well. That was usually used to just like kind of smooth out the end of the nail after I clipped it all off. um Yeah, she should have just got one of those.
00:56:37
Speaker
That would have been way easier. She was using a classic nail clipper thinking it was going to do something. Rookie mistake. There were a lot of horrible, horrible medical decisions made by one person. The doctor? the the Yeah.
00:56:52
Speaker
The dumbest person in this movie was the mom. Unfortunately so. She was so... like Yeah. she I mean, what? Like...
00:57:05
Speaker
After the daughter like beats the crap out of like four people, the dad's like, we should probably think about getting her somewhere where she can be better taken care Are you saying I can't take care of my own daughter?
00:57:18
Speaker
I actually hate you now. We don't need you. going to go be with her. And you know what? Your mom is dead because of you. Literally. Grandma, me, ma died because of you.
00:57:30
Speaker
This movie unfortunately suffers from a lot of a lot of bad decisions. A lot. And the dad, he's not innocent either. Half the movie is spent with him going like, like he just makes this face. And he makes it like a thousand times. just Me shaking my head so they know I disapprove.
00:57:52
Speaker
What was craziest about the mom saying that was that was immediately after the nail scene when she rips the skin from the daughter's toe to like her kneecap. just rips it right off.
00:58:06
Speaker
And she's like, you think I can't take care of my daughter? No, I don't think you can. but Yeah, I think you're a little out of your element, lady. The crazy thing, like the entire premise of this movie is kind of hilarious. Like going back to the three star review that I read where they're like I don't care how long my daughter is missing. If you bring her back to me and and she's like that, like take her back.
00:58:28
Speaker
yeah How did the Egyptian doctors just, like like oh, she's great. She just needs a nice bath. Yeah. That hospital scene was honestly, unironically so funny. They're like, yeah, she's, a she's really strong right now, but I'm not sure why she's acting aggressive, but it's just because we gave her some of those medications. And as far as her looks, I don't have to tell you. Anyway, enjoy your 20 hour flight home. Yeah. later ah thank you how get her to albuquerque from cairo i mean probably you need at least what you need a connector from albuquerque to a hub a hub to depending on what that hub is get lucky get to like atlanta
00:59:21
Speaker
You can probably get Atlanta to Heathrow. Yeah. Istanbul. I don't know. I know you can get Houston to Istanbul. I don't know the airport situation for Cairo, how many flights are there. You're looking at least like two or three layovers.
00:59:37
Speaker
At least. 20 hours of traveling, for sure. How did she not bug out once? That plane should have gone down. With her on it, that plane would have gone already took a plane down, too. That's the craziest bit. yeah That was honestly a really cool, fun shot of the guy fixing his bike with the plane just a tail spinning in the background.
01:00:01
Speaker
i thought that was awesome. That was cool. You okay, Alex? You're shaking your head a lot.
01:00:08
Speaker
Let's talk about our possessed friends dialogue. Okay. Oh, yeah. Because it was all over the place. This was... The worst part of the movie for me is every time that the the the the mum Lee Cronin's The Mummy opens its mouth, it just says the worst thing. The most outlandish, comical things you've ever heard.
01:00:37
Speaker
You're my favorite. I want to get to know you. i want to get to know all about you. Starting with how those piggies taste and they stick their tongue under the door. and it's like yeah It's a slow kind of caress and the the daughter just takes it.
01:00:56
Speaker
She just lets it happen. This movie is sponsored by Lee Cronin's Clash of Clans. The heat bundle.
01:01:05
Speaker
it's It's like, first of all, you know, especially because if you look at The Exorcist, which this movie's like trying to be. You know, when when Reagan is possessed, she says some outlandish things, but none of them are like cringy. They're just shocking.
01:01:25
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. They're shocking and they're like fitting like for the moment. Like as like the adults are having a conversation, she responds and just like interjects herself with something like ridiculous.
01:01:37
Speaker
But like this one was just like, I'm going to be your favorite daddy now. It's like, huh? It's like Sean Penn, Steven Lockjaw dialogue, but possessed.
01:01:50
Speaker
Dead. You like black girls. And this is ah this is a nitpick, but like as we're in the final act of the movie,
01:02:01
Speaker
the The third act, like this whole like final like battle house sequence is going up and down for me. Like there's like 30 seconds where i'm like, oh shit, I'm having a great time. And then like it just falls. I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? And it just kept going.
01:02:13
Speaker
it was just so inconsistent. Like you were saying earlier, Tachi, but um this is a nitpick. But as like they're battling, like we've seen that Lee Cronin's The Mummy can now make other Lee Cronin The Mummies out of like the siblings. Right.
01:02:30
Speaker
And at some point I'm like, there's no way this family wins the night. Like there's like absolutely, I know you're not, you're supposed to take the realism out of it You're supposed to get lost in the movie.
01:02:41
Speaker
But I was just like, there's no way in hell they shouldt any family is escaping this night. And they even had cop their side. Yeah. And i knew they would, and they did.
01:02:54
Speaker
and I was just so pissed. I was like, this is so stupid. I was really expecting the cop to draw her gun at some point. Just start firing her. No, just like, how did she get it through custom message?
01:03:12
Speaker
Yeah, TSA is famous for letting, ah you know, people from the middle east come in carrying like oh yeah she's good she's good yeah i thought she's here to fight she's here to fight the cronins the mummy she's gonna unload a couple clips and just go back she she didn't but i was really hoping that she did because it would have been so funny if she pulled out a gun might have made it better it really took me out of the the final battle when the the the the mummy lee crones the mummy says i'm their kid's daddy now yeah like what what are we lee what are you smoking oh also pass it like this is an egyptian demon shouldn't it have been speaking that ancient language that would have been great that would have been so cool we is this whole bit about this ancient egyptian language and then it's just like sounds like a pervert on 6th street yeah That was my same problem with It Lives Inside. like You have this really cool idea digging into this like ancient historical like trauma and and demonology.
01:04:23
Speaker
And it's just as like it's just like a like a narrative tool. And then they don't do anything with it. My problem with with It Lives Inside is they just kept showing it.
01:04:35
Speaker
Once it actually got shown, I was like, oh. And this is the opposite. We obviously see Lee Cronin's The Mummy throughout. Like she's the, she's the poster, but once she starts yeah gaining the ability to speak, she's just saying the worst things.
01:04:53
Speaker
Shut up. well It just doesn't make any sense. I think after the toe thing, I would just blown her head smooth off.
01:05:02
Speaker
Peeled her muffin cap back blue.
01:05:07
Speaker
what are you saying, Tachi? didn't mean interrupt you. No, it's okay. What was going to say? um i don't know. I lost my train of thought, but it just... Oh, um yeah, her powers make no sense.
01:05:23
Speaker
Yes. Like, if she has to get in physical contact with someone to control them, their body, and make them levitate like she did with her sister. i mean, she was in constant physical contact with Everyone, but never once like took over the mom, never took over the dad, I guess took over the grandma after she killed her.
01:05:45
Speaker
Yeah. But I don't know. It's just like nothing's consistent about this entire movie. It was very inconsistent. That's what I was saying. i was like, there's no way they survived tonight. Yeah, they shouldn't have. They should not have.
01:05:55
Speaker
Like everything was pointing that they just really shouldn't have. um One other piece of dialogue that I wanted to point out that I thought was atrocious was ah Lee Cronin's The Mummy Grandma. Mm-hmm.
01:06:07
Speaker
When she looks, she gets on top of the table yeah and then looks at the father and she's like, I know you want to taste or something like that. I was like, oh, she like she lifts up her skirt. yeah Come slurp me up or something. I'm like, get down, get off the table.
01:06:22
Speaker
What are you doing? The water bottle you squirt the cat. Get back in your coffin. Bad grandma, bad. Badly grown into grandma.
01:06:36
Speaker
What would happened if they'd just blown its head smooth off? Like, would it have died? Credits would have rolled. I don't know. yeah why has the Egyptian family just never tried to kill the host?
01:06:49
Speaker
and I'm sure someone has, and that just doesn't do well. Maybe i should try again. What would happen? So if the if the spirit goes without a host...
01:07:04
Speaker
What can the spirit do? Is it just floating about? Can it interact with people? Can it cause mayhem? It's probably just chilling. Yeah, what if it's like literally just like an entity and like in the corner that can't do anything to you?
01:07:19
Speaker
You give it a body, then it can maybe do something. So stop giving it bodies. Stop beating him. They could have put the the tomb, just drop it in the middle of the ocean.
01:07:32
Speaker
That too. Spirits can't swim. Well, I feel like, couldn't it like levitate stuff? So couldn't it just levitate the tomb open and swim out?
01:07:43
Speaker
Well, no, because the tomb is meant to keep it sealed. No, but like when it's a, cause I'm sorry. Sarcophagus. That's the word. When it's, when it's awake, right? Like they're like, Oh, we need to change it. So that makes me think that it's not like it wouldn't just keep it alive. Like it would be able to open it at some point. Like,
01:08:06
Speaker
don't know. Maybe we're just spending too much time trying to rationalize. That's what happens when you when you get a movie like this. And like i like I had a fun enough time with it.
01:08:19
Speaker
I had a fun enough time with it. Will I ever watch it again? Probably not. But when this daughter is terrorizing this family, that's when this movie's at its peak.
01:08:31
Speaker
There's probably like 45 minutes of like, I'm having a real good time in this movie. See, that that was the bad part for me. i was bored by that. Like, to me, the peak is the detective stuff, the history, the investigation, the like people finding stuff out like concurrently.
01:08:50
Speaker
Yeah, that was cool. One other thing that really bothers me. is what was the entire point of the Morse code teeth clicking to give the hint about Layla?
01:09:03
Speaker
If it wasn't like the daughter, like her spirit, like overpowering the demon for a little bit, like I thought it was going to turn into like,
01:09:15
Speaker
the daughter trying to help them solve the mystery, get it out of her body, something like that. But if the demon is in control the entire time, then like, yeah, why did they do that?
01:09:27
Speaker
I get what you mean. I was thinking that I was thinking a similar thought whenever the dad was going through, he just had the idea to go through every letter they've ever received. And there was a letter sent by Layla. I had a similar thought where like that also doesn't really make sense for the demon to just start giving hints. Right.
01:09:47
Speaker
About like exactly what they need. That's just like a writing thing at the end of the day. And I thought that was fairly stupid. So I'm with you on that one. But yeah, whenever opens the letter for Layla. thought it was because I thought Tachi's point.
01:09:59
Speaker
And i was like, oh, this is getting detective work. Here we go. This is going to get good. Right. And then it was just like, I was just joshing you i' a demon.
01:10:10
Speaker
Yeah. Boo. was like, oh, cool. Got him. Call back to Morse code. And then. Uh-oh. Richard. um But the Morse code was to give us the the very cute moment of her communicating with her father at the very end.
01:10:27
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. She crawled around like Ben a lot. Speaking of Ben Tachi, there were a couple moments where was like, who would win, her or Ben from Primate? question.
01:10:41
Speaker
If Ben has help, he's taking her. Two Bens versus one Lee Cronin's Katie. I'm taking the Bens. Yeah, because they would probably just blow her head and smooth off. Yeah. None of this, ooh, I can take care of her crap. No, they feel like tearing her limb from limb. yeah they game mad off Imagine this demon in Ben's body.
01:11:07
Speaker
Oh. No one survives. No one survives. and but The world ends. Poor Haley Steinfeld's not surviving another night. Like a walking nuke.
01:11:21
Speaker
Here it comes, here it comes. What else? Is there anything other like positive you all you also want to end it with, Alex?
01:11:33
Speaker
I think Tachi hated this movie. I think he's going to give it the lowest score he's ever given on the pod. I think he might. What is your lowest score on the pod, Tachi? I don't know. Trying to think what would have been. That's a good question.
01:11:45
Speaker
Because you never did War of the Worlds. I'm trying to remember what you rated like Belladonna of Sadness. I probably gave that like a 2.5 or 3.
01:11:56
Speaker
If we gave it a 3, I think in in in that conversation we were saying if it was a higher rating, it was purely from an artistic standpoint. Right. Like the artistry around it. Yeah, skimming through our episodes, I don't think I've given...
01:12:11
Speaker
As low of a score as I'm about to. I'm excited. i'm scared. I'm scared. Do you guys want to move on to ratings or is there anything else you need to say about Lee Cronin's The Mummy?
01:12:25
Speaker
I think I'm all Lee Cronin's the mummied out. i'll I'll say this. Yeah, let's recap it real quick. I do suggest watching this movie. I think if you're a horror fan, i think you can have fun with it.
01:12:37
Speaker
I had fun with it. Yeah, you may or may not. like This movie can go like either direction for anybody. um I had a fun enough time with it. Sounds like Alex had a fun enough time with it. Tachi might have also loved this movie.
01:12:52
Speaker
Take some friends. Take some friends that you maybe normally don't go to horror movies. Maybe take some friends that are squeamish. Make that the fun. Actually, i do have one question for Tachi. What? At what point did you decide that if we weren't with you, you would have left?
01:13:07
Speaker
um Honestly, when nothing happened after the wake. And it just cut to nighttime. And the dad was just staring at the daughter that he tied up to a chair.
01:13:20
Speaker
I thought that was stupid and it deflated all of the tension building leading up to the climax. Oh, so you would have just rage quit. Yeah, I would have rage quit. m Like i respect. I still had hope that maybe, maybe they could pull it all together.
01:13:36
Speaker
But then after the wake, I was totally checked out. At that point, you're like an hour 40 into this movie. I don't blame you. Yeah. I want to shout out one more piece of dialogue before.
01:13:47
Speaker
Whenever the new daughter gets possessed and she goes to school and the teacher's like, yo, what the fuck are you doing? I don't know what she says, but she's just like, why would I listen to a rat face? Cunt like you at that point. I was like, okay, this is the the movie needed more of exactly that of those five seconds. And i' would have had a great time before we do ratings. Here is one good thing. I want to shout out the little kid actors in this movie. We're all really funny.
01:14:17
Speaker
They're really funny. They're really good. I really like the performance of the little brother in the beginning. Yeah. He was great. He was so funny. I was kind of sad to see that like it wasn't the same child actors because like what we got from them in the beginning in the first 20 minutes of movie, i was like, these they're so good in this. was really promising.
01:14:34
Speaker
Yeah. I'm ready for a final reading. I'm ready too. Okay. Like I was saying, this movie's a fun end of time. When it's on, it's on. When it's off, it's a slog.
01:14:45
Speaker
It's way too long, but it's gory. And it's you'll it's fine. I'm giving this a 3 out of 5. I agree with you.
01:14:57
Speaker
It's probably not supposed to be a 3 out of 5. seems hot But I think I went in with such low expectations that when I did give it a 3 out of 5, it felt right. Yeah. And I will say real quick before you give yours, Hachi, I think if this, move like the parts that we're saying are the like the most, the the most invigorating parts of this, like the really gross, the grossness of it all really elevates it. And I think that's something Lee Cronin is really good at.
01:15:25
Speaker
I hope in his next movie, things are kind of shrunken down a bit and he gets back to more of that evil dead rise kind of approach because I think if he can work with a really tight, well-written script, I think he could, he could be cooking. I'll I'm excited for his future and other movies that he'll release. So just wanted to say that.
01:15:48
Speaker
Sure. Um, yeah, it wasn't a complete and utter disaster. Like I said, there were at least one to two things that i enjoyed. Pretty thoroughly, actually.
01:16:00
Speaker
Really loved the the scene at the farm or the sequence at the farm. um However, if I'm watching a movie for over two hours and I don't care about a family that I just watched, like not a single member of the family did I care about after two hours.
01:16:18
Speaker
Like, come on. What are we doing here? One star. You're giving this one star? i'm giving it one star. Wow. So a two out of 10 or a one out of 10? Two out of 10.
01:16:31
Speaker
Okay. That's crazy. It would have been a half star if the the farm sequence wasn't as good as it was. Wow. I wanted to leave, and there's only one other movie that I've ever wanted to leave during.
01:16:45
Speaker
And guess who it was? Cronenberg. Wow.
01:16:52
Speaker
Coincidence? i think not.
01:16:58
Speaker
didn't even think of that. That's insane. I've been sitting on that for a while. 24 hours.
01:17:10
Speaker
ah I'm so happy we do this podcast. That's so funny. It's so good. All five of you that listen. All right. Well, that was our Lee k Cronin episode.
01:17:23
Speaker
Lee Cronin's The Mummy. Go watch it. Let us know what you thought. Form your own opinion. Maybe you'll fall higher than me or Alex, or maybe you'll be amongst with Tachi as well.
01:17:34
Speaker
Any closing thoughts from you guys? Nope. think I said my piece.
01:17:44
Speaker
All right. Well, hope you have a beautiful Lee k Cronin night and we'll see you in the next Lee k Cronin episode. Have a good night. Bye.
01:17:55
Speaker
Lee Cronin's the goodbye.
01:18:20
Speaker
Thank you.