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365 — Hailey Fever
25 Plays1 month ago
Ty & Eric discuss the chemical makeup of Hailey Bieber’s Erewhon smoothie, the Carnivore footlong, the testosterone levels of Subway’s customers, harvesting sea moss from St. Lucia, getting post-lunch narcolepsy, and adding Super Male Vitality to your footlong.
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Transcript
Introducing Episode 365
00:00:06
Speaker
It is episode 365, and we are bumping that in your earlobes. That is the Fresh Podcast. I'm your host, Ty. My co-host, Eric, is here with you. We are so excited to get into some fresh thinking today. How are you, Eric? I'm doing just fine. Just fine? and Oh, no. That's girl talk for my life is falling apart. Damn.
Eric's Subway Ordering Secrets
00:00:31
Speaker
But you you know me, Ty. I have a resting, resting hunger face. Whenever I'm at Subway, I never let the artist know my next thought or move. I just kind of stare at them blankly. And if I'm wearing my ThinkFresh merch, I just turn my back to them. That has all the instructions, right, printed on the back. So if you want to get like me, get like us, I should say, go ahead and hit up shop.thinkfreshpodcast.com.
00:00:55
Speaker
That's right. In particular, check out with the BMT Enjoyer t-shirt. It's got the ideal BMT sandwich order written on the back, so you don't even need to say a word. You won't even give your sandwich artist your tell, which is, in Eric's case, licking his lips.
00:01:10
Speaker
I'm drooling all over the sneeze guard because I'm I'm hovering over that over that thing yeah exactly so but if you're turning your back to your sandwich artists they don't see the drool they don't see the lips smacking they don't see your wandering eye across the cheese and meat God damn it. um I gotta say man, last time I ordered the sandwich, it's a new sandwich here. i don't know I don't know if this franchise went rogue or not.
Exploring 'The Carnivore' Sandwich
00:01:36
Speaker
We had the opportunity to get a new sandwich called the Carnivore. We didn't talk about this yet. The Carnivore, wow. Yeah, that's right. I'm causing some carnage with the Carnivore.
00:01:46
Speaker
um It was really good, Ty. I got i gotta be honest. I think the difference here, what made the biggest difference between... Ty's googling something that I won't say just yet. um But the biggest difference between that and the BMT was it had ham, and I think it just added a whole new dimension to it that I never really ever explore. Whoa, whoa, whoa. So it's a BMT plus ham? Or think is there a little cheeky substitute happening here? It's probably missing one of the various types of salami. Probably no pepperoni, like the red one. They didn't they didn't dress it up with the red, unfortunately. But they did throw in some ham, and I gotta say, I think I might like it better. I mean, you love a little pinky, you know? A little drop of the red for some pink. Exactly. I get that. There's all like, I don't know. there's red Red meat is so controversial, Eric. It's pretty hard to know. Is it though?
00:02:42
Speaker
I don't know. The thing I was googling was the lyrics to Carnival, because I was going to make a carnivore reference. and How's that going for you? Pretty bad. I'm not really sure how to make this PG. Well, you could say, well, OK, remind me. Bread's so good, she had bread roll. She'll eat that foot long like a carnivore. I done did the impossible. Go, go, go, go. Finishing that sub was near impossible, but I managed to do it, man. That thing was, that thing was big.
00:03:11
Speaker
Yeah, that was a big sandwich in all directions. and I don't know, I haven't had like, the real real heads know, like I talk a lot about the 3 p.m. Drew P's, which is a experience I have every time we go to Subway for lunch. At 3 p.m., I just, my my, one side of my face starts to droop, like I'm having a stroke, then the other side starts, and then I wanna like fall asleep standing up, like ah there's so there's a, that's a condition, right?
00:03:42
Speaker
Narcolepsy? Narcolepsy. No, that's that's when you're a narcotics addict.
Mayo Clinic's Meat & Narcolepsy Humor
00:03:48
Speaker
Oh, it is narcolepsy. I just googled it. why is it why Why'd you get that info from the Mayo clinic feel i feel likeo Clinic? I feel like they are onto something. They're doing some good research back there at the Mayo Clinic. There's actually a clinic called the Mayo Clinic. It's a nonprofit dot.org. And they have a whole thing on their website about narcolepsy. Turns out it has nothing to do with narcotics.
00:04:11
Speaker
And oh, there's actually a whole section here on sandwiches that cause narcolepsy. They say that the more meat you have, the more likely you are to fall asleep while walking to your car. It's amazing. Mayo will do it too.
00:04:26
Speaker
yeah They really should be people like some employments test for drugs Some police officers test for alcohol in the bloodstream, but no one's checking your meat intake You know your blood to meat ratio and I think that's maybe more of a risk to society is these meat heads filled up with it. And they're just walking down the street, they're screaming because they're detoxing, the meat sweats are coming out, they're angry, they're or they're sleepy in your case. Right. So the meat heads are all hopped up on ham looking to start a problem? Yeah, exactly. Hopped up on that ham.
Effects of Large Subway Sandwiches
00:05:06
Speaker
ah So when you eat the carnivore, did you get the you got the droopies, right? Oh, big time. Yeah. You didn't you don't turn into a like ah vicious meathead. No, unlike um unlike zombie attack victims, I did not turn into an absolute monster. But i was I was feeling the droopies quite hard. And I think, to be honest, giving me some credit, or credit to do, I don't know if there's a huge difference between the meat ah sandwich options with anything else at Subway.
00:05:38
Speaker
I'm pretty sure like any so any subway sandwich would have just done me under because I haven't had one in several months, I feel like. We have not been to subway in a long time or had a full long in a long time. like I feel like the last time we went before that I was eating six inches of that. Yeah, we've been microdosing it an inch by inch, so it was hard to take on.
00:06:02
Speaker
It felt good to know that I still have that dog in me. I can still take on the footy in a moment's notice. It's just the repercussions that are difficult.
Garnish Innovations for Subway
00:06:12
Speaker
I'm thinking though, like, if the I'm assuming the carnivore is the most masculine sandwich on the menu, just given the name of it and the gratuitous use of meat. how would you like You know how like Subway offers some sauces that are more like garnish? like A garnish sauce would be the garlic oil.
00:06:29
Speaker
Oh. Yeah. That's a good way to put it, right? A garnish. It's a garnish sauce. what I don't know if I believe in the concept of a garnish sauce. I think that's fundamental to the sandwich experience. Garnishes to me are like, you can take it or leave it.
00:06:44
Speaker
ah Yeah, fair enough. Well, you're thinking of garnish more from the aesthetics perspective, but I think there's actually a sensory aspect where it affects the aroma of the sandwich, and that's why the garlic oil is the perfect drizzle on top. You get that olive aroma, you get that garlic aroma, it sneaks up into the the the nose nostrils, but just really complements the rest of the flavors.
00:07:07
Speaker
I agree. So, where I'm going with all this is I think they should make Super Meal Vitality a garnish oil at Subway. Super Meal Vitality. What is what is this? Oh, dude, you don't know? Oh, man. Super Meal Vitality, you know that was that guy that, like, denied all the school shootings? Alex... Alex Jones? Yeah, Alex Jones. He invented this shit. It's like... Oh, this is the shit that the elites drink, so they live forever.
00:07:33
Speaker
kind of it's like super highly packed testosterone oil essentially it's like the essential oil of testosterone so you just like take this every day and you just turn into this like insane schizo chat because you're like so beefed up from testosterone that you don't even know what to do through energy and like you get veins on your forehead you just want to like scream at the sky Yeah, I've seen him break down in person on live on ah YouTube doing this. So I believe you, Ty. Like it's just like so much toxic, literally probably toxic for you. it's I don't think, I bet it's poisonous. But do you think, do you honestly think the subway patrons need more tea? Well, because I think it's quite the opposite. I think we should pump it full of estrogen to balance things out.
00:08:19
Speaker
It is all about balance. Here's the way I see it, Eric. Your subway patrons are coming in there and they're high T, right? they're They're trades workers, blue collar, buff dudes. They're big. They're the type of guy that the only thing that can satisfy them for lunch is 12 inches of a sandwich. Hell yeah, brother.
00:08:40
Speaker
You got these like ah high tea dudes walking through the door and they're being Bamboozled into eating all of this high e food high estrogen. We're talking the carbs and the veggies We're talking these soy pumped chickens fake tuna like all this shit is actually like super high in estrogen Okay, so they're being tricked here I see what you're saying. So, okay. So we don't need to add more E. We have enough E. and enough e We need more t T. So we got enough Eric. You need more Thai is what you're trying to say. That's what I'm saying. I see. Wow. That's weird. That is kind of weird. Um, okay. I, I'm kind of with you on this. Why not drizzle a little bit of that T for little, uh, you know, our strong man patrons.
00:09:27
Speaker
That's what I'm proposing. I think we need, we need to introduce some garnishes that are more like, you know, at all smoothie companies, you can get like a booster of like. Some maka. Some maka or some shit. Maka's as the Australians say. I'm macking my lips to that. Yeah. The Haley, Haley Bieber corporation knows all about the add-ons. Exactly. So you can just like get like a zinc booster, the immune system booster, you know, the pick me up. It's just like a shit ton of turmeric in it.
00:09:55
Speaker
and hundred percent Okay, let's finish this because I have something else I want to talk about after. but What are we doing with the, with the sauces then? Are we, or is the tea replacing Mayo is, does it have a structural kind of like component there that it adds to the flavor of the sandwich or is it simply like a pixie dust? I think it's just a pixie dust and you know, like a shaker, you know, like, can I get some Parmesan, some super may vitality and some zinc? Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Okay. So, okay, great. So do you think this will increase the, maybe even the net worth, the average net worth of the subway customers?
00:10:33
Speaker
Because like think about it if I know that subway is offering up, you know extra testosterone Yeah as a free add-on I'm hidden there. I'm as a CEO. I gotta to live forever I have to i like I can't afford to keep drinking baby blood. So I gotta to go to subway Get the pixie dust male testosterone add-on sprinkle that on my churro or something. Right? right You know, I Right, the teenager blood transfusions aren't doing it for you anymore, so you're getting some magnesium added to your foot long. That's right. I can't afford to go to Montauk every Sunday to attend this ritual, so I have to you know find a new way. There's 44,000 subways, only one death cult in Montauk. It's true, yeah.
00:11:16
Speaker
um I think this is something that's something Montauk to ya. I think this is like a very obvious avenue for subway to get back into health because I think like subways kind of an extremist fast food chain in the sense that like they're targeting pro athletes. They're getting the fattest people on earth to slim down like they're not it's 12 inches of sandwich. This is not for your average Joe. This is free. Well, actually your average Joe works in trades. He's pretty it is for Joe.
00:11:48
Speaker
And I do want to add that, you know, shop.thinkfreshpodcast.com does go up to 5XL. So... We thought of you, Redheads. Yeah, we thought of you. Please continue. you for that there's there's a play here like to kind of reclaim the narrative that we're like subway is healthy but then it's also like subway is not healthy in the air one sense subway is healthy in the supercharger body sense mm-hmm you know make me live forever mm-hmm make me so full of energy that I'm going to explode if I don't start a business 100% CEO shit 100%
00:12:27
Speaker
um Okay, Ty, I really want to talk to you about something that I found out about on Friday.
Haley Bieber Smoothie Concept
00:12:31
Speaker
Okay. Last episode, we had teased the idea of going to Venny's Sub Shop for a cheeky little sandwich. ah Spoiler alert, we're recording this directly after that episode, so we haven't gone yet. But I just want to throw out a pro ah different proposal for lunch today okay that it might even be a little bit faster. um I learned recently that You're familiar with the Haley Bieber smoothie. Oh, obviously. From Erewhon, right? Why do you think my skin looks so good? Because I'm sucking that. Dude, it's the rose water. um Like if we're going to talk about add-ons, let's talk about the ultimate smoothie of add-ons. It's the Haley Bieber. It's got everything possible in it. um The best smoothie ever made. You can quote me on that. um You've got it open. Do you want to read what's in there?
00:13:19
Speaker
Yeah, I'm trying to pull up the ingredient list here. The Healy Boop Booper. Scratch that. The Healy Bieber smoothie at Erewhon is made with milk, organic almond milk, organic banana, organic strawberries, avocado dates, maple syrup, vital proteins, vanilla collagen, vanilla stevia, sea moss,
00:13:45
Speaker
organic coconut cream and strawberry glaze. Nice. I stopped saying organic, like was appended to the beginning of every single one of these words. I just stopped saying it. That's pretty amazing, especially because the, it's not just got almond milk in it, but the most expensive brand of almond milk. and The malt. The malt. What's that go for a leader right now?
00:14:08
Speaker
Yeah, dude, we're live on the gas prices website. 13 bucks a liter. That's pretty good, but damn. 13 a liter? God damn, bro. Dude, that's way more money per liter than like, even like your premium grade of gasoline. But this power is the human body. Oh yeah, that's a good point. That's actually an interesting comparison. Price per liter? Yeah, because like I can... How far can you go off a liter of gas? Like 10K maybe? I don't know.
00:14:35
Speaker
How big is a gallon? A gallon is 3.7 liters. 3.7 liters. so
00:14:42
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. 10 K in your Toyota. I can't do 10 in this car. wow That's a lot. Um, this is actually something I'm realizing that with every substance that's a consumable is that like it's way more expensive per liter than petrol. Oh yeah. All milks are all beer is even like bottled water. If you think about it, like you can buy a liter of bottled water from Dasani for three bucks or whatever. That's right. I think the only consumable liquid that costs less than gasoline is rolling rock.
00:15:13
Speaker
Yeah, shit. It's beer on earth. Have you ever had the rolling rock? Stop doing that. Okay. Anyways, if the real ones know, but, um, I want to talk to you about body energy club, which has a Haley Bieber dupe. Oh, they do. Yes. I've seen that. Body energy club is the, I got it open time. no body Well, good explain to what it is to the bed. It is a Vancouver deep cut. It's a Vancouver deep cut. Yeah. I don't think it's outside of Vancouver.
00:15:40
Speaker
I can check this. Click the store locator. I guarantee you that there's only a few locations around our beautiful little city. Oh no, that's wrong. One store in LA, four in Chi Town and one in WeHo. Okay. Okay. So it's global. If you're in WeHo, you're global. Um, but anyways, the point is no need to spend 19 Canadian on an actual authentic Hailey Bieber smoothie. Instead, you can spend $11 Canadian on the Strawberry Bay
00:16:13
Speaker
which is apparently a smoothie of the month at Body Energy. And I've been told it has very, very similar ingredients. So let's, let's go through them. Coconut water, coconut milk. Okay. All right. It's different. It's almond milk in the Haiti Uber. Strawberry, avocado, grass-fed, collagen, beet, vitamin C, and your choice of protein. So I guess you can add a chicken breast to it. Can I get the falafel?
00:16:41
Speaker
The garnish is the coconut probiotic yogurt, homemade strawberry glaze, strawberries, cherries, arrowroot, and monk fruit. Monk fruit? Oh, that's kind of fun. Yeah. So, oh, I could be down to get one of these later today. it Sounds pretty fun. I'd be down to try it, but honestly, Eric, there's two things that are missing, three things that are missing for me with this dupe. One, it doesn't have Hailey Bieber's name attached to it.
00:17:04
Speaker
Two doesn't have the ear one logo on the side. Mm-hmm. So these two are both identity crises I understand that time, but we have to you know consider our geographic proximity to the nearest air one that's true and Not only that the beautiful white and pink glaze is the logo if you think about it It's true. That is what's signifying, you know, the Haley Bieber esque smoothie I was even told that if you are carrying one of those down the street, you will get plenty of looks from local ladies who kind of know about the smoothie and know about the dupe. Really? That's right. It's the new dog. It's the new puppy. I made the same joke on Friday. No way. I was like, before all you needed was a dog to talk to girls. Now you just got to get a hilly Bieber lookalike smoothie. You just did a marble pink smoothie. That's right. Interesting. Wait, one more check.
00:17:58
Speaker
Well, Eric, the third thing about this smoothie that I'm just not comfortable with, yeah it has no sea moss in it. And I think that is like the sleeper ingredient is to get a little bit of Oceana in your smoothie. 100% dude, the ocean is mother nature's.
00:18:16
Speaker
Heartbeat. It is healing. It is soothing. It makes me... 100%. It tastes good. I don't really even know what the health benefits of CMOS is, but oh, here we go. B2, calcium, magnesium, and zinc. All the things that super male vitality also promises us. I happen to be low in all of those things. I am too. Great. Well, this is kind of cool. Wow. That's what CMOS looks... Irish Moss.
00:18:39
Speaker
Okay, Brett, as we're looking at the absolute bottom of the barrel looking sea moss that you might find on your beach in, I don't know, fucking... Where would you find? What kind of beach would... Long Island? Dude, yeah, you're finding this, like, under a bridge, like, you know, in a swamp. Maybe that's why they call it Strong Island, because you are... If you're eating sea moss all the time, yeah maybe you are, you know, tapping into some unknown health benefits. You've maxed it on B2. You know what though, Eric? What I like about the sea moss is the one that's dried. It kind of looks like the crispy potatoes you get on sushi rolls. Yeah. When you get those specialty ones. Crispy potatoes? You know when you get like crispy potato flakes on like a special maki? Special maki when you get the crunch add-on.
Sushi and Fast Food Comparison
00:19:25
Speaker
Sushi restaurants are kind of falling behind because I don't see sea moss on sushi. Why is Hailey Bieber bringing sea moss to the masses? That is when there's restaurants that specialize in ocean life. Here's an opinion I just thought of. I think i think all sushi restaurants are fast food.
00:19:48
Speaker
The only exception is like an omakase situation where they're actually inventing with shit like this, yeah but everywhere else it's California roll and then what are we adding to the California roll? We can add some avocado on top or some sliced salmon, you know what I mean? It's all the same stuff that people have been replicating for decades and centuries and Thousands of years ago, you know, they're doing the same shit So I just feel like all that has turned into fast food because it's such a quick meal Especially if you can buy it at TNT, it's fast food. Let's just be real
00:20:26
Speaker
you're I think you're onto something here, because sushi has been commodified. you know there's You know exactly what you're getting. There's a fixed cost for it. It's available almost anywhere, and they can make it so quickly. Yeah. But the really really, the biggest indicator of whether or not it's fast food for me is when I go for sushi, I never really get a beer. like That's got to be a special occasion to get some- Really? so I always get beer. Okay. Well- That's a crazy take. That's worse than mine.
00:20:55
Speaker
I don't and that makes it fast food for me. Wild. But if you do, then I think that kind of blurs the lines a little bit. Like, we've all had our, like, a cheeky PBR in the back of a McDonald's, but this feels, like, different, you know? Dude, the bathroom, and the the McDonald's bathroom PBR is it a dark place. Yeah, a low moment. 100%. When you, uh, when you, that's like when you, like, get ah get a small glass for the water and then you fill it up with coke. You know what I that's It's that kind of low that we're hitting.
00:21:28
Speaker
Um, but I think I truly do believe that sushi has become fast food. It's in some cases faster than McDonald's because it's pre-packed and cheaper too. Like I feel like you're like any Kappa roll is like basically the value picks of the sushi sushi restaurant. I recently put tie on to the O'Shinco roll. The O'Shinco roll is banyan. It's nice to have a little bit of something pickled.
00:21:53
Speaker
Well, Ty, we need to urge our sandwich artists and our sushi sensei's to start to innovate a little bit more. It doesn't have to be expensive. Like how much can CMOS possibly be? No idea. like Let's throw that on the counter, let it dry overnight, and then sprinkle that on top instead of the potato, because I don't need more, I don't need hickory sticks on my California roll. I want CMOS.
00:22:21
Speaker
Okay, eight ounces for 40 bucks Dude, what the hell are people doing with that on Amazon? I don't know. Why are they selling seamless on Amazon? That's People putting it in their smoothie maybe Bieber style and That's probably the best guest. It's advertising as a nutrition rich digestive supportive. Yeah joint instant support of substance For our Asian listeners, this looks a lot like dried pork, which I'm a huge fan of. Oh, that would be good. Yeah. This is from St. Lucia. That's kind of a random place to harvest this. Like, I feel like... there Well, that sounds premium. It does sound premium, but also I just feel like there's moss in the ocean everywhere. Why do you need... this Maybe this one's got, like, more phosphorus in it. Wow. Are you telling me you don't want to see moss from this beautiful place right here?
00:23:09
Speaker
Oh, no, I absolutely do. That sounds wonderful. The Caribbean island nation of St. Lucia would be a very desirable place to obtain my mollusks.
00:23:21
Speaker
Well, it says it's only an 11-hour flight from Vancouver, so that seems wrong. That's probably like a huge layover. Seems extremely far, yeah. Actually, you know what? There's probably no direct flight YVR to St. Lucia, for being honest. Yeah. Who's doing that? Yeah. Just us. Just us. And on that note, Ty, I say we... You want to say something? Do you want to go ahead? I just want to fly this nest. I was thinking about how to close this out. Cool. Well, we're flying. Sometimes, you know,
00:23:49
Speaker
podcasters got to spread their wings. And that's what we're doing right now. Bradheads, thanks for listening. Check out our websites. S and brackets. And um hope to see you in the next one. Think fresh everybody. Ciao.