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Draw the Dang Beans w/ Heather Buchanan
61 Plays6 months ago
Heather Buchanan is back! In this episode, we talk about Heather's new book, Blame the Stars, based on her totally accurate and divinely channeled IG page Horror Scoops, and the intense process she went through to bring this incredibly goofy book to her readers. We discuss working with the inner critic and being willing to draw the goofy things that pop into your brain--like beans!--and saying yes even when your inner critic is telling you no.
You can buy Heather's book anywhere books are sold, and we highly recommend going to your local bookstore! Follow along for weekly horror scoops on IG @horror.scoops and check out more of Heather's work at heatherbuchanan.ca
References:
Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin
Tara Brach RAIN method
The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to The Ugly Podcast
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to The Ugly Podcast, the place where creatives are encouraged to make messy, ugly art and to redefine their relationship to their inner critic. I am joined by creatives of all mediums and methods to discuss our creative processes and how we navigate the mental minefield of creativity. This podcast serves as a reminder that you and your art get to be whatever the hell you want to be, ugly and all.
Meet Heather Buchanan
00:00:32
Speaker
Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Ugly Podcast. It's me, Lauren. ah They, them, you know. ah Today, in honor of my guest, ah it's the Uglow Plort Coast. ah that That's the name we're going with today because I have one of my favorite artists back on the show. ah You know her, you love her. It's Heather Buchanan. Hello. The Uglow Plorcast. Yeah, the Uglow Plorcast. The Uglow Plorcast. I love that. Oh my gosh. I'm honored.
00:01:04
Speaker
but yeah ah For anyone who doesn't know, Heather is a Canadian artist and author, and as much as she loves making oil paintings, she's addicted to starting side projects that end up taking over her practice, like writing a book. ah no She loves ah vintage salt and pepper shakers, bird watching, and obsessively staying
Heather's Book and Writing Journey
00:01:24
Speaker
hydrated. Her book, Blame the Stars, based on her internet page, or sorry, Instagram page, Horror Scoops, is out May 21st. Yeah! That's right. Yeah, I know. It's exciting. It's so soon. I know. Yeah, I think by the time this comes out, it will be it will probably be out. I'm not sure exactly when I'm releasing this episode, but it'll probably be out. It's already out. It's already there it's there. It is there for you. Go get it. yours Oh, my gosh.
00:01:55
Speaker
That's like a lifelong dream that for a lot of years I didn't, I wasn't like ready to like admit to people that I wanted a book out there in bookstores on the shelves. Yeah. It's pretty wild. It's pretty cool. It's so cool. Last time we talked last year, you like we're having a hard time calling yourself. I recall a writer. Yeah, I know. I was I was like, I ah would like to be a writer, even though I was like actively like working on the book in like in like secret. It hadn't been announced yet. I was like writing every day for like three hours. And the word writer was like,
00:02:38
Speaker
stubborn, like I wouldn't come out of my mouth. ah So ah yeah, a lot of growth has happened. a yeah i'm I'm now, i I'm not only a writer, I guess I can call myself an author, which is an even weirder word to use, like that takes a lot of time to get used to. Yeah. But it's there. it's a I mean, they're only words. I don't know why they have so much power over us, like feeble, terrified people. But but they do. And and there they're sort of scary to claim as yeah or identities.
00:03:15
Speaker
Yeah. Well, because there's like, there's an image in your head of like, what a writer means or who an author is. And you're like, there might be even a specific writer or author that comes to mind and you're just like, well, I'm not that person. So I can't, this word can't apply to me. yeah There's a lot of, there's a lot of like weight and expectation. and I don't know. Yeah, we um like I think I always held it out as something that was going to happen in the future, like it was like lofty thing that, you know, was was way out there. And I was going to be very like cool and confident and intelligent when those things applied to me. And I am
00:03:58
Speaker
not currently cool or confident or intelligent. And therefore, those words could not possibly apply to me.
Self-Acceptance and Identity
00:04:05
Speaker
And so yeah, and so it's like, Oh, if I call myself those things now, then I just have to accept myself the way I am. That oh That feels wrong. That can't be right.
00:04:21
Speaker
I'm lifting myself as I am. What? But apparently you can just do that and wow and come to terms with it. and And maybe that's all right. Maybe that's just okay. Unfathomable. I love it. I know. Vlogging foggling so the tiny brain. and fire But maybe it's OK. Yeah. OK, before I forget, ah one of my previous guests asked me if I do visual descriptions on this podcast. And I thought, oh, I should actually do that. So love before I forget again, because I keep forgetting, um would you mind providing a brief visual description of yourself?
00:04:58
Speaker
Oh, a visual description. Yeah, I am sort of inspired by how curly your hair is. I like, I really curlified my own hair today. it's it's very It's naturally curly, but sometimes I straighten it. So yeah, I have my curls in full swing. So I have like, ah sort of like, quite long curly hair ah that's sort of like a medium brownish color with a ah bit of redness to it. I have big thick glasses that look like they're inspired by a marble countertop. a I am quite
00:05:32
Speaker
I am a little greasy. A little bit of shine. Yeah, I don't know. I usually get quite blotchy and red. yeah the description is becoming i like you my blog Get real personal with it. yeah One really crooked tooth on the bottom ah that because I refuse to wear my retainer because I had one of those retainers that's like if you take two mouth guards and glue them together and I couldn't breathe in it. I was just to only wear it at night and I couldn't breathe because I am a mouth breather. I can't i can't breathe through my nose. I have like a deviated septum situation.
00:06:14
Speaker
And so I couldn't, but so so I have a crooked tooth. This is the TMI portion. It's the physical de description, but it's becoming, hello, here are my flaws and why they exist.
00:06:27
Speaker
Do we need more? No, maybe not. No, that's great. Thank you. It was in my office that I didn't have time to clean. This is where I fill my online orders and it's uh it's it's not a total disaster it gets worse than this but i was gonna say that like that counter behind you looks pretty like yeah okay so i took everything on it and put it under the counter so and there's a stack there and there's a stack right behind me oh i see it here got you got you a little bit more out of camera like there yeah you can well thank god you told me because yeah otherwise i would think you were clean and yeah you don't you don't want that impression of me because it's inaccurate
00:07:06
Speaker
Yeah, but on the desk too. We have like a used tissue. Wait, I have one of those too. ah Only one. Just one. I mean, the rest have made it into the waste basket below me, but. Congratulations. Okay, I should give mine. I haven't given a visual description on here before, so anyone who's been listening to this and has no clue what I look like. ah I am also a white person. I have very ah curly, coily hair that is very short on the sides and like a little longer on the top. So it looks like I have just curly bangs. I have big ah roundish ah framed glasses and I'm currently wearing a black t-shirt and a ah blue flannel. And I have a little hand warmers on because it's really freaking cold in my room.
00:08:00
Speaker
Oh, ah do you reckon it do you do you see your back there? You've got my you've got my print back there. I was going to point that out. That's so nice. It's ah a print of mine that says I'm blooming into a powerful bitch and you are. I'm doing my doing my best that uh that picture makes me so happy especially because it got kind of looks like me like it has it has like the curly hair it has like my the haircut that i had before my divorce well no i guess it was like it was before i had short hair before my divorce anyway um but yeah i had that haircut for a very long time and so it looks like me
00:08:39
Speaker
And it's like wearing overalls, I love overalls. Yeah, so it's just, it's kind of got a U vibe. Yeah, it's perfect. Your arms are also eight feet long. It's yeah, it's got it. Yeah. Yeah, they just extend out. Cool. Okay. I'm glad I finally remembered to do that.
Writing with Chronic Illness
00:08:57
Speaker
um Yeah. So tell me more about like how it was this process of writing a book. Sounds like it was very, ah I mean, in depth, like lots of lots of stuff to come out of your brain. Yeah, it is. It's it's a lot of work, apparently. Who knew? um Yeah, no, it's a lot of work. um I have a sort of a chronic illness that's like really um
00:09:23
Speaker
it ti It also like takes up a lot of my um energy and in time. I have a ah static migraine, which is a beast to deal with. um and And so I have this like limited amount of of good hours every day. So I had to to really... um sort of create these like strategies and self-care rituals and and really really be strategic um while working on it. so i i i found um like I really wanted to read this like um
00:10:00
Speaker
amazing book ah while I was working on it. And I found I couldn't because it was it was it's called it was called Manhunt. And it was um it's this like horror book ah in the future where um these they like men have all turned into like these like zombie beasts ah who are like roaming the plains and like ah women are like chasing them. But like
00:10:25
Speaker
There's just these all these turfs who are like chasing like all the like trans men who are like kind of, well, they won't, they change into like the post-apocalyptic man beasts. and So there's all these like amazing... I feel like I've heard of this book. I couldn't read it at the time because it was too violent and and I couldn't like expose myself to anything like unpleasant. I had to like just like keep so calm and like take such good like care of my like mental state. I couldn't like agitate myself at all um because I just
00:10:59
Speaker
I just had to like stay so calm. I had to like exercise regularly. I had to eat really healthy. I just had to, because it was just such a big workload on such a delicate constitution that I i couldn't um I couldn't, I couldn't like, I had to like watch what I was reading, watch like I couldn't watch, like I love an action movie. I love really um sort of media hot things, but I had to just like keep everything kind of gentle and serene just because I couldn't give myself the time it would take to bounce back from things. I just didn't have that time. and
00:11:37
Speaker
like Now that I'm not working on something so intense, um I still take do certain things for my i physical health. like I can't stay out out past 10, 10, 10.30. I have to like keep i to like go to bed at a certain time and I have to like you know drink my electrolytes and sort of you know live a very nerdy lifestyle to take care of myself. but it was like an absolute overdrive and to to be able to work the hours you need to work to write a book. So it was ah it was a really interesting just like physical process that you don't normally think of or or yeah a process um to be able to do it with such an intense physical ailment. ah
00:12:23
Speaker
yeah But it was it was possible and i I got through it. So that was it was really fun. And it's such a ridiculous book. It's such a bananas book. and It's called Blame the Stars. It's based on my ah Instagram page Horror Scoops. Which is so bananas and so much fun. It's a it's a weekly page where I write astrology um even though I know nothing about astrology and the book is is an extension of that where we get to just um
00:13:00
Speaker
have wonderful imagery and nonsense and see if that opens our minds to some beautiful surreal abstract images about what what might be possible for ourselves and for the future, ah even even if it's absolutely bonkers and bananas. It's so good. I think your style just it really, I mean, i I mentioned this before, it just appeals so much to like my child's self. and just like them That's great. like
00:13:33
Speaker
he is just What's the weird, like, you know your child self where you would just, you'd have to scream a random word at the top of your lungs because you just like had, like you had to, like kids do such weird things and like your style really like ah it just like tickles that itch of just like, yeah, like it's so weird. And I just needed to say this weird combination of words ah because it makes me happy. Oh, that makes me so happy. Yeah, yeah, no, that's great. I feel like I've been doing some like inner child work lately, so that absolutely delights me to no end. Because I think I think that kind of healing is really powerful. So yeah, no, that that makes a lot of sense too, because it is really, um really sort of a deep primal place of creation for me to make this kind of work to make to like,
00:14:31
Speaker
um tap into this type of creativity that come up with this sort of stream of consciousness nonsense is like very um deep and primal and authentic, I guess, ah that word is is maybe backslid from being the sort of word du jour. But yeah, it's it's like such a such a true sort of type of creativity for me. It just comes so easily and naturally. So yeah, it makes sense that it would like tap into that for other people as well. So yeah, and it makes me happy when when people find that and find like inspiration from it for for their own sort of
00:15:21
Speaker
creation and whatnot. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I love it.
Workshops and Creative Process
00:15:26
Speaker
well and i So when I was still doing some of my like ugly art workshops, and which I'm hoping to do more as life evens out. But like one of the things that I would do is like just like some of those exercises, like just first word that comes to your mind, like put it on the page and like no matter what word it is, like if the word is beans, draw a bunch of beans. If the word is like,
00:16:00
Speaker
tigers dancing on top of tiaras. Draw that. I don't know. Like just the but there's there's an element of it that some people I think don't quite understand when I say that, because when I say that, I mean like whatever's inside of you is worth putting on the page. No, like even if it makes zero sense to you or anyone else, like it's still something that your brain came up with and it's fun and silly and you should be able to play with that. um And you were talking about like just writing without knowing what's going to happen. Yeah. And I think that that's a very exciting thing about creativity ah and being open to that is very vulnerable. And it's also like, well, maybe it won't be like mature enough or it won't like totally make sense. And so there's there's a lot of resistance to that, I think.
00:16:56
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I think that's right. I think like, especially internally, like, we all have that, you know, inner critic. And and for some of us, it's really loud, and it's really mean. And it's really, you know, it comes from um the voice of the people or it takes on the voice of the people in our lives who were the cruelest to us. and And therefore it's a really potent voice and it's a really effective voice and it comes out and even if we're not like totally conscious of it, you know, the voice that says, okay, draw beans, um you know, that voice is like,
00:17:37
Speaker
Okay, that was stupid. Like, why beans? Like, you're such a so random idiot. Yeah, exactly. And even if we're not like conscious that it's calling us an idiot, or that embodying that teacher, our parents, whoever, you know, we're we're feeling like a little like seepage of shame coursing through us or starting to, but the the act of doing it anyway and drawing those dang beans is the most effective way of starting to silence that inner critic. And so the class that you taught, like allowing people the space to draw the dang beans is actually such good therapy
00:18:23
Speaker
in silencing that inner critic and healing that voice because otherwise that voice wins, you know, or keeps winning and keeps existing inside of someone's like mental ecosystem. Yeah, exactly. And that's rough. And so, you know, ah even still, even after like two years of writing these horror scoops, I have days where like I'm like sitting there with the blank page and I'm like, okay, what's it going to be this week? And it's just, it's just like empty inside my brain and I'm like trying to write something and like nothing's coming. And you know, I just, I just like push it away and like decide I'm going to start another day because sometimes forcing it
00:19:05
Speaker
yeah doesn't work. you know um Some days it's just not coming and you know some days if I like start writing about beans or whatever, it's just going to be bad. yeah you know or Or some days you know you try to write something and ah amazing things come or sometimes you try to write something and it was it's garbage but it's good to go through the practice of getting that garbage out and you're glad you tried and failed anyway but you know some days is it's also so valuable to just be like okay it's not coming let's yeah get a snack or do something else or work on a different project anyway yeah yeah it's definitely worth like observing like
00:19:48
Speaker
Am I resistant to creating because I truly need rest? Which like as you were talking about um like having to take care of your body so diligently through that writing process, like we forget that like our brain is part of our body. it's Our brain is our our body. They are one. We like to think of them as separate, but like you have to take care of both. um yeah And so it's definitely worth asking like, are you resistant to creating because your body needs some tending to, and maybe you need a rest or a snack or just, it's just not happening today. um Or are you resistant to creating because you have that voice in your head telling you that whatever is whatever is in your brain isn't worth making. And so like noticing that the difference between those two, um I think is very but valuable. And it's hard to decipher sometimes.
00:20:38
Speaker
Yeah, i really I think it really is. I think it's an important part. I think like that's why having at least like some kind of mindfulness practice is really helpful, like whether it's a formal meditation type thing or just bit of just journaling just to like get in touch with yourself to some extent or you know what like whatever it is for you that allows you to like just have some kind of awareness of your your moods. like Because I think some people are like just really good at knowing themselves. like my My husband, who's ah who's a musician, he's he's just like very aware of himself. He just knows. He's fine. He's pretty good. I'm so jealous.
00:21:23
Speaker
I mean, I'm getting I'm getting much better like with practice, but my god, it took me a long time to get. Yeah, yeah. Because I have no idea. Yeah, no idea what's happening inside me. Oh, I have absolutely no concept at any point what's going on. um and And I think it's like a lot from like just like being the the child growing up who like was like just expected to like go along with everything and behave and whatnot. And you get deep into the psychology of that and we don't need to. But you know I think most people get that. yeah yeah of ah But like yeah, i I have absolutely no concept at any time. and And if I want to know what's going on inside me, I have to like
00:22:09
Speaker
really spend the time to be like, okay, what's going on?
RAIN Practice and Emotional Expression
00:22:16
Speaker
And, you know, whether it's like doing a bit of journaling or doing a bit of a, you know, like a like a rain practice. Do you know what rain is? No. Oh, rain is wonderful. I know it from the meditation teacher ah Tara Brock, shout out. She's got her own podcasts that are wonderful. um a little
00:22:40
Speaker
ah that she's She's like a Buddhist teacher. They're they're a little touchy-feely, mushy-gushy, but they're lovely. ah So RAIN stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. It's like a series where you like recognize what you're feeling. investigate it, allow it to be there and then nurture it. So it's like very touchy feely. But if it's, you know, if that like appealed to anyone, in terms of like, you know, getting in touch with an emotion and working through it, um I would highly recommend you
00:23:15
Speaker
look look into her meditations on the brain practice or her talks on them because she'll go deep on them. It's been very helpful in terms of like working with an emotion and figuring it out and figuring out why it's there and then helping to resolve it. But yeah, it it does help ah with like figuring out um why you're resistant to creativity or why you just feel like butt one day. um Yeah. Sometimes you feel like butt. Sometimes you just feel the big old butts. Some days you just have one.
00:23:56
Speaker
Well, I mean, most days. Yeah, actually, buts that's all of them. That's all of them. So far. So far, you might you might wake up one day and not have a butt. It'll just be gone. Where'd it go? I lost my butt. Bring it back. that firm yeah ah ah but The thing that's been really helpful for me in like recognizing those feelings and like especially because the thing with recognizing how you're feeling is like I tend to just like overthink it and I try to give it all meaning and investigate it. and i'm like
00:24:35
Speaker
so When I get too cerebral about how I'm feeling, then it can just like agitate how I'm feeling or I'm just like trying to explain it away and then I don't actually feel it. so What I started doing is like painting how the feeling feels in my body. o and so I have these like little you can't see them they're um this way but um i have this like these little like squares of watercolor paper that I have like little circles that contain my feelings, and I just like assign them a color and a texture. And as I'm just like painting, I just let my hand kind of go however the feeling feels in my body. And then I don't have to like explain to myself what I'm feeling. It's just like, nope, this is what it feels like. This little picture is yeah my feelings. And I'm giving it the attention it needs. I'm feeling it.
00:25:28
Speaker
and just letting it be. And that's that's been really good for me to just like accept how I feel at any given time and not have to like explain it away. writinging Yeah. I love that. I've seen some of those on your Instagram, the ones you've... Yeah, yeah. yeah No, those are great. And and I think i think like as as much as like just like assigning it, like giving it a word sometimes helps. But I think yeah you know like adding that creative process to it and like making it a thing and that like also you've made it into like a ritual too. And something beautiful or something ugly or...
00:26:08
Speaker
Sometimes a little above. yeah You know, it's subjective. of yeah yeah Like, you know, I think that's that's really um probably ah a process like I think anyone could try. I think that's really cool. Yeah, it's really fun. I think, yeah, it's just it's so important. Like, as like Creativity just takes so much emotional energy. so like The more emotionally competent we can become or just emotionally open to whatever is inside, then the more likely we will be to continue being creative who and being curious about what we have to make and share with the world. Yeah. no but i think you've like
00:26:51
Speaker
made it so that you're working with the emotions instead of you know because if any of you try to push them away and try to like you know excise them from yourself then I think that that's like pointless because it's like you know that only makes them stronger yeah you know so I think if you embrace the emotions and make them part of your um creative process I think that's Yeah, that's much more sensible because yeah, whatever, whatever you try to push away, that's a, I
Embracing Failure with Improv
00:27:25
Speaker
don't know. It comes, it comes back and it bites you right in the face. it's Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:33
Speaker
ah Um, so you said you've been trying like improv recently. How's that going? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, so I was like, you know, I'm, I have like a book to, you know, promote, maybe do like, like a book launch or, you know, some, some, some more things like this where I'm talking and people are listening, which is not my normal state. Usually I'm hiding in a dark corner, um, you know, writing alone. like hermit. So I yeah, so I took about like 15 minutes from my house is a place called the loose moose. I don't know why improv places always have the silliest names. But yeah, so I i took I signed up for like a beginner improv workshop.
00:28:17
Speaker
which was so much fun. um It was very silly. I was so nervous, but yeah, I did i did like comedy improv. And it was it was so much fun. I actually wanna do it again. I don't know. I might do the beginner another time before moving on to like intermediate. yeah um Or I think there's like drop-in classes somewhere that are also beginner. But anyway, yeah, it was really fun. We did like those like theater games that I remember from. I maybe be like drama classes in Dream Your High, I think. Yeah. Those sorts of things. But yeah, i i I loved it. It was really great. It was it was fun. I successfully made a complete ass of myself in front of pleat people. it was It was great. And they did too. it was it was See, I was expecting, I don't know what I was expecting from a from a beginner's
00:29:09
Speaker
drama or ah improv class but it was all just like moms and like old people like I was the only person in it like I don't know what I was expecting or you know there were a couple people around my age but most people were either you know they wanted to improve their public speaking or they just always kind of thought about doing it but everyone was terrible just like me like we were all just equally fumbling and floundering around. it was It was all just adorable. We were all very cute and very bad and the teacher was lovely and I don't know why I was so afraid. So I should be very good at going yes and if you need it. I don't know that I learned a lot that's actually practical, but I think I learned ah that it's okay to just fail a lot.
00:30:02
Speaker
I mean, that's ah that's like probably one of the best lessons you can learn. It's true. And i think I think actually the skill of just just say a thing. like don't Don't be that terrified to just just say a thing. I think i was yeah the thing I was most scared of was how much I like clam up the second there's any pressure at all. I just go totally blank. And I think I got over that a little bit. Like I just started just saying a thing. Like it doesn't have to be the wittiest thing. yeah Like I'm a lot cleverer when I'm alone and I'm writing or drawing. I'm a lot funnier. I'm a lot cleverer and that's okay. If if there's any kind of pressure on me, I go a little, that everything gets a little dark. Everything gets a little blank, a little scary. That's fine. It's okay. Where life goes on.
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah, I love that. Did you have any like particularly memorable, I don't know, if would you call them sketches or scenes? Yeah, I mean. I did manage to break out, um so I had been working on my Australian accent, so I did manage to find a couple areas where I could... ah oh It's not the best right now, but I ah i did manage to pull it out here here and there. ah That was all right.
00:31:30
Speaker
Good. yeah Is that, I'm trying to think of, I can't remember exactly the distinction between New Zealand and Australian, and I'm sure anyone who lives there is going to be really mad at hearing that. Sorry. Sorry, Gauri. I'm the only person in Australia that I know.
00:31:52
Speaker
ah That's so funny. I didn't have the confidence to try my Irish one, which is only, it's still a work in progress. ah it Yeah, I think whenever you tell me to do any accent, it just evolves into like a very, rare like a faint English accent or maybe Russian. um That's usually where my my accent is. Oh yeah, Russian's good. I can sometimes i don't know i learn one if i'm if i'm a ho yeah yeah i can do southern I don't know what it was about like Russian accents, but I think it is it in
00:32:26
Speaker
high school or college. I can't remember, but some, some friend group of mine always used to like speak in Russian accents. And I can't remember why that was such a thing, but we thought it was hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Does that come from like Borat age or something? Yeah. Between, yeah. It's like all those spy movies that always have like a Russian, I don't know. yeah do it right now mean i get I'm like, I'm too scared to actually try it, right? The Australian one went okay, and I kind of wanted to yeah just um quit while I'm ahead of the accents. Usually I have to start by saying my name. Like, I think here's ah here's an accent tip that I learned from the internet. Okay. Get one phrase in each accent you're learning that you can say really well.
00:33:14
Speaker
So when I was learning my Australian accent, this is really cheesy, but I learned, my name is Hida, and I'm practicing my Australian accent. Which is very embarrassing to like your tat your phrase, because you can't say that when you're like practicing it out loud, but you need like one line that you've worn down pat. And so every time you say it, you can nail it. um And that's your like in on that accent. Oh, okay. Yeah, you go. Yeah, so that like you can. Yeah, anyway. Cool. That's my it tip. Amazing. I love that. That way, like, when you're like, I know, a russian I know I can do Russian, but like, if you had on out online, you knew you could do. Yeah, yeah. ah I'll have to think about what that is. Yeah. And then learn that line. And then like, because once you've said that line, then you then you're off and running. Yeah. And then you can say more things. Perfect.
00:34:09
Speaker
Yeah, do you need to get you need like a line that has a lot of different like sounds? Exactly. So the the reason Heather worked on Australia is because it has that er, yeah, yeah, accent has, you know, it's got some of the other vowels and yeah, anyway, but it doesn't the one thing it doesn't have is that no, oh I can't do it right now. No, no, no, I don't have it. I don't even know what sound you're doing. I'm trying to say a no in an Australian accent is one of the best things. The way they say, no. It's because it's got the R. My mouth is too dry. I can't do it. Okay. Yeah. I'll have to listen to someone with an Australian accent because I can't picture it, but I believe you. Yeah. You're not going to be able to un-hear it. Okay. Okay. Cool. They say, narr.
00:34:54
Speaker
no Okay. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna not. Australians, I love you, but I apologize for the past five minutes. You're all wonderful, and you all talk far more beautifully than anything I've said. This is my formal apology. I love you all. I'll make sure that's included in the panel.
00:35:21
Speaker
That's so cool though that like improv I think yeah that just accepting whatever you come out is it could fail failure just is something that happens and then you move on to the next thing. Yeah. It's like saying yes and to failure. yeah yeah and Yeah, yes. Yes. Yeah, it really is though. Yeah, because you are going to fail and you have to be like prepared for that and then prepared to like just keep going. Yeah, yeah. And fail again. And again, and it's and be like and be able to laugh at yourself and have people laugh at you and be comfortable with that. So yeah, it's it's actually I would highly recommend
00:36:00
Speaker
taking an improv class because it was it was really great and yeah it's something i've thought about taking and i just i haven't yet but you've you've put it back in my brain yeah i i like i didn't do it with a friend there were a few people there who took it with friends but i think it was almost more valuable to not have a friend there yeah because then there's not someone who like knows you know your regular personality or your regular sort of jokes or crutches or accents.
00:36:34
Speaker
um You know, that way you you just have a little bit more freedom. And I think the more freedom you have, the better. So yeah, highly recommended. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Get messy, get weird. Have you gotten back to, you're getting back to more painting and stuff now after, now that the book is
Returning to Painting
00:36:51
Speaker
done? How has that been? Yeah, yeah, no. Your roots. It's been good. It's been a little slow going. um it's It's tough to get back in the habit of it. It was, you know, kind of
00:37:08
Speaker
Like, okay, before I got the migraine, it was like a full-time job. Like I was painting like 50 hours a week or... Oh, wow. Yeah. Like I was just painting all the time. I was constantly like covered in paint and wearing my painting clothes. Like I wouldn't get dressed in normal clothes. Like first thing in the morning, I was dressed in clothes covered in paint and like that was just like my life. Um, and. you know now it's like maybe I'll paint like some like watercolors a few hours a week and then some oil paintings now a couple hours every couple weeks trying to do a bit more um but it's just kind of like hard to get back in the habit so it's yeah it's it's really um it's really been a challenge I don't know
00:38:01
Speaker
I'm and really trying to push myself to do it because once I start, I like don't want to stop. like Once I'm sitting in that chair doing it, it it's mostly going really well. But yeah, a I've been having trouble like composing a painting and getting it ready to like start. um So yeah, I don't know if I need to like find something different to paint or Or or just just keep forcing myself until the habit gets built again? Or um what? We just talked about how forcing doesn't help Heather. I know. I know, right? It's that thing of like like whether you need to let it come naturally or whether you need to be disciplined with yourself and yeah know which one is right. Yeah. and And it is hard to know. Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:56
Speaker
Yeah, because like the the routine is helpful because you you want the routine there so you know that you're coming back to your art every time. Yeah. But then, yeah, if things aren't flowing. Yeah, like how hard do you push and how how gentle are you with yourself versus like how disciplined should you be? Yeah. And how how much do you just like try to let easier art happened versus like, do you try to do something more complex when you're struggling? Yeah, so it's yeah, it's
00:39:33
Speaker
It's been really nice just to see some more complex work forming and to have some oil paintings happen and to just see my easel with paintings on it instead of just standing there as sort of a decoration in the corner of my studio. yeah But yeah, it's also been, yeah, it's been like a little frustrating just because it has been a bit of a slog. but But yeah, it's been going okay. Yeah. It's probably ah maybe annoying to hear me say this, but I'm like, I'm relieved to hear you say that. but Okay. not Not because I revel in your creative frustration. um but Fine if you do.
00:40:28
Speaker
No, I just, I, I find it very refreshing. I've, I, I love the conversations I have with people on this podcast, but sometimes I have conversations where people are just like, yes, I know what's going on. And I have the answers and I'm just like, yeah, bummer. no I'm like, no, because I don't. Yeah, no, I know. Like, sometimes you listen to someone who's just kind of everything's going so well. and It's like, okay, i' I almost like, maybe this is supposed to be inspiring, but I'm just gonna shut this off because it's a little bit annoying. Yeah, like it's like on one hand, like all my dreams are coming true and everything's the best because I do have like a book that I'm like quite happy with like coming out.
00:41:19
Speaker
um But on the other hand, like you know I do live in constant physical agony and am trying to like you know make it through every day, um trying to just like figure out how to live and be a creative person um with that going on. ah Yeah. Yeah. and I feel like more people than not feel that. like Even if they don't have like the you know the physical aspect of it with the migraines, like the living yeah includ a life.
00:42:01
Speaker
Yeah. i mean In this freaking world that we live in, there's agony everywhere. like you know You're so just living in a country that yeah like just living in a country that like is funding genocide and then also like attacking anti-war protesters on campuses. You're just like, what is this place? I don't like it here. Why world? And then you're like, on top of that, I have to be a c creative person? Like what? Yeah. No, because I think like those of us who are creative are are drawn to it in a way where it not it's not exactly a choice. Like we are yeah drawn to this in a way where it is a it is a calling and we don't really have
00:42:50
Speaker
I know for me anyway, like I don't really have a choice in the matter. It's very much like what I have to do. and it's it's um so it's a It's a challenge and it's um it's a it's an odd way to live. and it's um
00:43:13
Speaker
It's a very peculiar struggle to be going in through day to day. And I think a lot of people are going through a similar struggle and and it's ah it's a confusing time to be struggling in because the world as you so beautifully described is a dark and frustrating place where we feel increasingly powerless to affect change, the change that we so absolutely desperately want. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard out there. Yeah, it's hard out there. and
00:43:51
Speaker
yeah and and you know i I sat down every day to to write um my silly little book wanting to make it something really like like beautiful and and
Joyful Art and Positive Intentions
00:44:08
Speaker
silly. And I wanted to make it something that would bring people joy and light and happiness. And, you know, I think as creatives, we don't know if if we achieve those things with our creativity.
00:44:25
Speaker
Um, yeah, I, I think we can to some extent. I don't know. Yeah. And yeah, I think you're, you're right. Like our art is so important. And I think, especially if you make art that might not be like political or not like I don't know. it It might feel like I get this sense sometimes, like, well, my art's not really saying anything that's going to change the consciousness of a nation. so like Why say it at all? And it's like, no, that's not the but the the point is also just bringing joy to people and giving people things to share with each other and
00:45:12
Speaker
and laugh at and with and like it's adding this light and levity and beauty to the world that is so worth exploring regardless of the heaviness or perhaps because of the heaviness in the world. um are Our silly art matters. Yeah. And i like, you know, at the same time, like, I think it's important to use our platforms to speak about oh how to find and all all the very various ah ah horrors of the
00:45:49
Speaker
the contemporary world, of course, definitely. you know and And I mean, sometimes um with my, I guess sometimes with horror scoops, I i do um occasionally foray into the political um and and then lose a lot of fall horn. oh But, ah i i um but a you know, when and then with my like main page, I definitely do post a lot more political stuff there. Yeah, but I think you made a good point about just, you know, like, focusing on
00:46:33
Speaker
Or just like, yeah, like i think I think there is a place for art that's just like uplifting and revitalizing. And when you can make art that makes people feel seen and makes people feel held and heard, I think there is um an important place for that, for sure. um you know And I think Yeah, I think I think that is important. And I think I think I find art like that really helpful. So hopefully, you know, when I make art like that, it is helpful for others. That's, you know, maybe a little bit idealistic, or maybe a little bit um
00:47:19
Speaker
I don't think it's idealistic because your art definitely like does that for me. At least one person feels that from you and I'm sure many, many more. um know yeah you like um you know like i I'm down with like ah you know like Julia Cameron, like the artist way, and and and folks like that. So like while i was while I was writing Blame the Stars, I had an artist's prayer, which is so cheesy. but like
00:47:51
Speaker
the gist of it was like every day before I started writing I would just like read it to remind myself that the whole point of writing was that writing of this particular book was that I you know just like wanted it to be something that would like fill people up with joy and that they could share with their friends and and like have a communal experience of joy like with their friends and so like yeah like I really like filled myself with that intention too like every day when I went to went to write it so yeah I don't know if that it's like setting that intention for yourself when you go to make something actually makes a difference or if there is anything
00:48:36
Speaker
there. um But I certainly like found it changes changes like my whole headspace before I go create something by doing that. So it's it's a little boo-boo and a little sheening. But I love that. i And that that's such a good way to like kind of give your inner critic a little check too of like this is why we're doing this totally yeah yeah yeah if ever you're feeling like oh i don't know it's just a silly like book of satirical astrology or like you know it's it's just a goofy book it doesn't matter whatever but if you like you know
00:49:14
Speaker
right ah You don't have to call it an artist prayer you know that's a little hokey, but you can call it like whatever. You write out your intentions for whatever your creative project is, and every day before you start it or start whatever you're doing, and you you read it out, and you remind yourself, this is why I'm doing this. and it It's amazing, and it really gives you perspective and a sense of you know focus and power. and Oh, I love that. I'm gonna have to make one of those for myself. Yeah. Have you ever done the artist's way? Sure. sure you No, it's one of those things that like I know I would like it and I should do it. but Like i've I've taken like pieces of it that I know like taking myself out on like artists dates yeah and stuff like that. um But ah yeah, but I have not actually gone through the whole like
00:50:08
Speaker
it's so i mean it's it's a It's a bear, it's big, it's yeah long, it's a slog. i i I don't even necessarily recommend doing the whole thing, but there are, yeah, taking bits and pieces that work for you. That's great, yeah. But i yeah i mean it was helpful to do the whole thing. like It's very intense and I found it like fairly transformative. Yeah, but yeah, yeah i the artist prayer is great. Just just skip to that sometime. Okay, okay i I feel like I'm just gonna slowly like just pick pieces of it and eventually I will have done the whole thing just like piece by piece over the course of 10 years. DIY artist way. yeah ah Use your own adventure. Use your own adventure. your an adventure Yeah.
00:50:56
Speaker
ah Well, Heather, this has been a really fun conversation. um The last question I always ask is, what's something ugly you've made recently? OK, I recently took um ah a large painting that I had never finished. um I think it's 36 inches by 48 inches, so like quite a huge canvas. Yeah. um And I like jessoed over the whole thing um and just like tried to paint a giant painting um and it went really badly.
00:51:34
Speaker
um It's like, I don't know. Some people can blend like figurative and abstract really well. um and And I had this like vision in my head for how I could do it. um And this was like my um figurative painting and my like um sort of slightly illustrative, nose-less weird style. Yeah. So I had this, I had this whole plan in my head and it just, it went so wrong. And it's, on a I'm going to keep working on it and maybe I can bring it to something that looks good. But currently it is um quite unfortunate. And it's just a mess. It's just a tragic mess. So yeah, I i really went for it. Yeah. Yeah. It's a large,
00:52:19
Speaker
unfortunate work in progress. and It's bad. Currently, it's quite bad. I love it. Yeah. Cool. Well, everybody, ah go buy Heather's book. ah Blame the Stars. You can get it wherever you get books, I believe. um Bookshop.org is a great place because it supports local library or local ah bookshops. Go to your local bookshops as much as possible and go get it. Yeah. any other Any other things you want to let people know about? I mean, you know, you can follow me on Instagram at Heather Buchanan. ah Heather, B-U-C-H-A-N-A-N. um But yeah, no, mostly Blame the Stars. It's this good. It's weird. It's fun. And horror dot.scoops. Yeah, that one. um On Instagram as well. Thanks. Thanks for being better at that than I am.
00:53:15
Speaker
Uh, I thank you so much, Heather. It was so nice talking to you. I enjoyed that so much. Good. All right, everybody. Keep it ugly. The Ugly podcast is created by me, Lauren Alexander of Scribe and Sunshine. It is produced and sort of edited, also by me, and written and directed by absolutely nobody. If you like the podcast, be sure to rate and leave a review on your preferred platform and share with the creative people in your life. If you're interested in learning more about what I do, head to scribeandsunshine.com to learn more about my Ugly Art 101 course, my perfectionism workshop, and my editing services. As always, keep it ugly.