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Episode 10: How to Overcome Failure & THRIVE
35 Plays1 year ago
On this episode Jim and Jenn discuss tried and true steps to overcoming failure and how to adaptively look at failure in ways that can help you move through the experience and THRIVE.
Welcome to the Brave Journey Within with Jim and Jenn! This show is about the spiritual journey and all of the challenges, healing and expansion along the way. Join us as we bravely explore topics of metaphysics, spirituality, healing, mindfulness, and ascension. We will be sharing our experiences and wisdom, as well as diving deeply into various topics so that you can better understand your own journey. Whether you are just starting out or have been on the spiritual path for many years, this show is a space for you to learn, grow, and be inspired.
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To learn more about Jenn: https://jenn-palmer.com/
Jenn Palmer YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JennPalmerHealer/
To Learn more about Jim and Journey Mindfulness: https://journeymindfulness.com/
Journey Mindfulness YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLu7Bfk-3-ZKmypgRt2OxMw
All information and guidance given on this channel is meant to help empower you and is not to be considered medical or psychological advice. Please seek medical and psychological support as appropriate for your concerns.
#bravejourneywithin #spiritualgrowth #unconditionallove #spiritualjourney #spiritualdevelopment #ascension #mindfulness #karma #forgiveness #divinepower #relationship #failure #success
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Transcript
Introduction to Spiritual Journey
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to the Brave Journey Within with Jim and Jen. This show is about the spiritual journey and all of the challenges, healing, wisdom, and consciousness expansion experienced along the way.
Overcoming Failure
00:00:13
Speaker
Welcome to another episode, another edition of Brave Journey Within with Jim and Jen. And today's episode is going to be on how to overcome failure.
00:00:27
Speaker
I have never personally experienced any of these types of things. I'm going to start out on a light note. Right. I know. I know.
Defining Failure
00:00:40
Speaker
Well, Jim, I'm curious, just as we're starting out, how would you define failure?
00:00:51
Speaker
When things don't go the way that you want, you know, losing a game, missing the mark, you know, asking a girl out and she says no. Like that feeling of rejection, you know, not wanting to do it.
00:01:18
Speaker
Things that just don't go your way. You fail at tests. Or maybe you don't fail at tests. You just don't get an A. I think a lot of times people perceive failure. Like, well, I failed. I got a B. I didn't get an A.
00:01:35
Speaker
Was the B a failure? No.
Failure as Learning
00:01:39
Speaker
You know, was divorce a failure? Or did you just learn something about yourself? And it's not a bad thing, but we get caught into this whole, you know, polarity of this is good, this is bad.
00:01:55
Speaker
You know, when sometimes, you know, relationships, you could be successful in the sense that you are in them, but the relationships are over. Yeah. Or they've been over for a long time.
00:02:12
Speaker
So I guess, obviously, I have the advantage of talking to lots of people, so I get a lot of different perspectives. But how I find failure, my definition has probably changed. It's just learning about
00:02:35
Speaker
you know, new ways to try something or move on. Apparently this is something I need to let go of because maybe the failure, I just see them as lessons. I don't look at them as necessarily negative things. I try to see the goodness and I think that's a more optimistic way of being and learning really ultimately.
Shame and Self-Perception
00:03:03
Speaker
Yeah, so it's interesting, you know, when you talk about failure, and usually when people feel like they failed at something, they're in such a down place, and they think so negatively of themselves. It's really, it's almost like it's a shame, it's a self-hatred, it's a
00:03:20
Speaker
not believing yourself stated being when you think you failed at something. And so I know that part of what we wanted to talk about is, you know, how do you overcome that? How do you get out of that downward spiral? Let's say you had something that feels like a really bad spiral. You failed at something really important like your business or your marriage or something like that, and you're in a shame spiral. How do you overcome it? How do you start to think about that failure in ways that can empower you?
Personal Failure Story
00:03:52
Speaker
Well, one of the biggest failures I would say I had when I was younger, I was in a golf tournament and it was one of my first golf tournaments. And it was the first time I was playing pretty well and I
00:04:14
Speaker
They were at, you have a cut, and I was tied to make the cut, so we had to have a playoff. And in this playoff, there's several players, a crowd started to form, and that was the first time I remember playing. The pressure's on. So the pressure started to increase, right? Now people are looking, and they're focusing their attention on you.
00:04:44
Speaker
And remember, I hit a not great, but T shot in the fairway. So I set myself up pretty good. And then I started thinking in my head, like, oh, I got to make this look good. And I ended up shaking the ball for the Haster.
00:05:04
Speaker
and essentially weeding myself out of the play up. But I was so ashamed and so angry and so embarrassed. I did not do what I would coach anyone to do now, but I really beat myself up. How could you be so stupid?
00:05:25
Speaker
you know, mess up like this. And how I went about it then was very angrily spent hours and hours hitting golf balls over and over again until my hands bled. And I went through like I was going to punish myself for making the mistake. In some ways, there was value in that, but it was not a healthy way to go about it.
00:05:55
Speaker
But I think I, what I did learn is that you can work harder and prepare more. And now you know what that's like. You had no idea, you've never been in that situation before. There's a lesson in that. So you don't have to be so harsh on yourself. Put the work in, you're going to do that anyway, but you don't have to punish yourself while you're doing it. And
00:06:22
Speaker
There will be other opportunities. And there were.
Humor and Healing
00:06:26
Speaker
I remember playing. I did really well. I might have been in the next year and somebody was joking about that event. They had no idea who I was. And I remember laughing at it because it was funny.
00:06:44
Speaker
And when I brought it up, I was like, this guy has no idea. I'm just going to say that was me. And he was like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, there's nothing to be sorry about. It happened. This is obviously a different tournament. So being able to know of that experience or maybe even use humor to laugh at it and know that you'll get through it.
00:07:09
Speaker
That's my first experience like a really serious, you know, failure if you want to call it that. That's awesome. I love that you could laugh about it. Well, you know, I think what's interesting as I'm sitting here listening to you, part of I think the problem with the idea of failure is that it comes from having expectations and also caring about what other people think more than the value you're getting out of the experience.
00:07:37
Speaker
And it's almost like those are two pitfalls right there, where instead of focusing on what you're achieving out of the experience, even if it seems like the outcome doesn't work out, that's where the gold is. The gold is always in that process.
00:07:52
Speaker
Not so much in the outcome, although we like the outcome. We do. People that work with me get frustrated with me talking about Ashton's outcome. But yeah, you get fixated on this outcome and focusing on the moment.
00:08:12
Speaker
And I think that's a problem too a lot of times in when you're working on manifestation because you're so focused on a specific outcome that you're shutting down every other possibility. And then people think that the law of attraction maybe isn't working for them when it probably is, but they're just focusing on this one thing instead of opening up. And maybe that one thing isn't meant to happen the way they want it to happen. So I'm thinking like, you know, somebody owns a business or something. I've known plenty of people in recent years who've had to shut down their business and
00:08:42
Speaker
You know there have been times I've wondered if I needed to because you know things have gotten gotten really weird the last few years, right and The the hard part of that is like Your egoic self feels like that as a failure, you know You put in so much time and so much effort and maybe you didn't do something quite right or maybe you thought you did and looking back maybe it could have been done differently and when a lot of things are out of our control even and
00:09:09
Speaker
And then somehow, someway, we feel like it's our fault that we didn't achieve that specific outcome that we tried so hard for. And one of the things that my guides will often say is try not to focus on the outcome, focus on the process. Because when you're in the process, you can pivot more easily. And you can change your idea of what the outcome could be more easily so that you are navigating to that success as opposed to getting stuck in a trap.
00:09:39
Speaker
or stuck in a sandpit. So how would you distill that? Following your passion, your joy, or just staying in the moment, not getting distracted by thoughts of the outcome or worries?
Process Over Outcome
00:09:59
Speaker
I think all of the above, I think we're given a motivation to work towards something, an outcome, because it's meant to drive us into a process that we're here for as a soul. I think usually we're here for that process and not so much the outcome. So if we leave the outcome open,
00:10:17
Speaker
open-ended just you know oh yeah it'd be great if I had that successful business or whatever it is but then also allowing for it to shift and pivot however it needs to because maybe your focus in the business serves you in the first couple of years and then you need to switch your focus a little bit but if you're so like really bent on trying to make that initial vision come true you're going to miss out on what you're meant to pivot towards because as we grow and shift and change
00:10:47
Speaker
our goals should grow and shift and change. And something like if you have a business or a relationship or something that's meant to be more long term, that needs to grow, shift and change as well. You know, when you get married at the age of 22 and think you're going to be married for a lifetime, there's a lot of growth that happens
00:11:08
Speaker
in that time and space. And, you know, you've got to be okay to pivot and maybe it means the relationship shifts and changes or maybe it means it's time to say goodbye at some point, but in the end, it's all about the process. Yes. And your growth and expansion, which is a word that you speak of when we're talking about soul growth. Right.
00:11:34
Speaker
which is a beautiful way to think about that. When I work probably mostly with men, but if we're talking about relationships or going through a divorce, those are not easy life events to go through, but they're also not the end of the world.
00:12:00
Speaker
And when I was going through mine, I remember reading an article about this couple. So they ended up having a divorce ceremony and it was the first time that I'd ever heard of that. What is that? And it was just this beautiful thing where they acknowledged the end of the relationship in this loving way, you know,
00:12:30
Speaker
And there was love there, but the relationship was over. And they both recognized it. It was like, we don't have to be enemies. We can wish each other well. I wish you happiness.
00:12:46
Speaker
Um, and so that was from some kind of magazine article, but whoever wrote it, it was very valuable. And then later on, um, I've been working on my PhD in metaphysical counseling, but there is a right of ceremony. It's a divorce ceremony. There's a protocol
00:13:05
Speaker
for how to do it. And it was nice because I was able to have one at the end of my marriage where it was just like, I wish you well. I would like us to be at peace with each other. There's no animosity and lingering negative type feelings towards each other because ultimately you don't want to carry that with you.
00:13:33
Speaker
Especially if you're going to get into another relationship, you don't want to be angry and resentful towards somebody else. Like you're holding onto that, right? So where this failure in a sense can continue to wreak havoc on your life. And so I think that's a big part of overcoming failure is
00:13:54
Speaker
Acknowledging maybe when things don't work out, seeing the good in them, the lessons that you learned, because ultimately, especially the divorce, there's things that you learned about yourself that you didn't know. And you have to go through those if you want to grow and expand. So it's not a bad thing. Would you pick it? Would you want that outcome? No. But there's lessons in all of it.
00:14:23
Speaker
So I'm curious, you know, when people think they failed or they think they keep failing and haven't gotten what they're looking to achieve, you know, maybe it's health or business or relationship, you know, whatever it is, there's nobody that's gotten to success with that thing and got there immediately without failures along the way in some form or another. And,
00:14:51
Speaker
So what I want to talk about is this idea, and you had told me a story before we started recording about a guy who'd been in business for, what would you say, 11 years or something? I think he makes $600 million a year now.
00:15:10
Speaker
Yeah, but he was having a loss for what, 10, 11 years? I can't remember exactly what you said. He had a business partner and he had started a business and I think it was in Burghardt, so like building energy efficient homes. And it lost money every year for maybe 10 or 11 years.
00:15:34
Speaker
And maybe it was that 11th year where you finally earned a little bit of money. And this is years ago. It's flourishing now. But everyone outside of him and his business partner left him.
00:15:50
Speaker
He just believed in himself and the business. He thought it would be something meaningful to him and it is by evidence now, but for 10 years people told him to probably shut it down. I bet that business partner is so sad that he left.
00:16:12
Speaker
Everyone has their own tolerance for certain things too. Some people have a very low threshold for pain or stress. So like the moment something doesn't, you know, there's like some type of adverse event, they bail, right? They run away from it. But to your point, learning how to overcome failure,
00:16:39
Speaker
It's helpful to look at all these people, but the most successful people I know, they failed many times. And everybody around them loses faith in them. It was when I came across a couple weeks ago, you know, Abraham Lincoln lost a lot of elections before he ever won one.
Lessons from Children
00:17:06
Speaker
data. No one's talking about how all those elections be lost. That's interesting. I didn't even realize that. It's a long time ago. Well, you've got to get out there and you've got to put yourself out there. You've got to be willing to fail before you succeed. And I was saying
00:17:25
Speaker
to you before we started recording, it's kind of like you can't expect a baby to start getting up and running right off the bat. They've got to build their strength and their muscle tone and their confidence in themselves to be able to then work their way up to running.
00:17:40
Speaker
And along the way, they have failures. They fall. They get bumped and bruised and bang their head and they cry, you know, or they throw tantrums because they can't quite make it or can't do what they want to do in their mind that they know they can do. But their body or the reality hasn't caught up to it yet. And, you know, they just gave up and they never be able to get up and run. You know, they keep going. They persist.
00:18:08
Speaker
But part of that is because, well, their parents know, OK, well, they're going to fall down a lot. But they'll get it. They're fine. But let them just go do their thing. They'll fall. They'll learn. And they'll try again. But imagine if their parents didn't believe and always kept them safe and comfortable and didn't encourage the growth and the expansion and the strengthening. How long would it be before they walked? Well, I don't have to imagine it.
00:18:36
Speaker
I've seen kids with the helicopter type parents that they're the ones that are falling and getting hurt the most because they haven't developed the skills that you would if you're allowed to climb and fall down and learn what your body is capable of doing.
00:19:06
Speaker
Yeah, I have to say I'm probably one of those parents sometimes. I don't want to see my kids get hurt, but at the same time.
00:19:16
Speaker
you know, how much am I holding them back when I act that way? You know, if I'm really holding them back in some way to keep them safe for my own benefit. That's the thing, right? Like it's a projection of our own fears and, you know, levels of safety too. I like, and how do I, but in the same way that we live it ourselves in our own lives with our own fears, you know, projecting it onto our children, which is kind of what I do.
00:19:45
Speaker
Yeah, my kids leave. I'm always like, drive safe. Please don't get in an accident. And it's like, all right, Jen, at some point you got to trust your kids to just know what they're doing and be safe, you know? Well, knowing that that's how you learn. Yeah. Yeah, if you're going into a relationship or you're starting a business or doing something new for yourself, if you're going in with the idea of I need to play it safe,
00:20:13
Speaker
Either you're not gonna be as successful as you really could be, or it's like you're not gonna do anything. You're not even gonna try. Going into business is very risky. Going into a relationship and opening your heart and being vulnerable is very risky. But you aren't gonna experience a successful business or a successful relationship if you don't do that. So I'm curious
00:20:41
Speaker
And I think everybody might have a different idea about this, but as you're failing and you're falling down, getting bumped and bruised and bloodied in your adventures, trying to figure things out and get successful, at what point do you know it's time to stop trying and throw in the towel or
00:21:04
Speaker
to continue pushing through like that business owner who just kept believing in himself and pushing through with that vision and becoming extremely successful. How do you determine where to throw in the towel or where to pivot and try something different? Sometimes the universe makes the decision for you. But usually that's really painful. I think it goes into discernment. Yeah.
00:21:33
Speaker
And then also looking inward and seeing, you know, for example, with Bashar, when he talks about the laws of manifestation and creating in your life, you take it, whatever your passion is, you take it as far as you can.
00:21:56
Speaker
for as long as you can and the best of your ability. And then when you go no further, figuring out when that point is, then you adapt. I would imagine that people want like a formula. No, I don't know that there is one. Yeah.
00:22:17
Speaker
You kind of have to trust your own intuition and inner guidance on that, I think. And, you know, following your heart and your emotions, allowing that to guide you. You know, paying the guy and all those things. But what gives you joy? What gives you meaning? You know, the one business owner I talked about, I think he thought his business
00:22:45
Speaker
He could see things, like he saw things heading in a positive direction at some point. I don't think he doubted that. It was a matter of when it was going to start making profit, you know, and I think he had the resources to pull that along. But if he didn't, maybe it's bringing in a new partner or selling the business and starting another one later. You know, there's all these other options you have.
00:23:14
Speaker
That's probably a good thing to say. There are always a number, maybe a different number of possibilities, but we don't see it that way. We get locked in, especially when there's fear or embarrassment or shame, some of just the typical emotions that we associate with the feeling of failure.
00:23:40
Speaker
Yeah, I want to come back to the idea of that shame and that fear because I think a lot of times it's more about what others may think or how others may take our perceived failures.
00:23:53
Speaker
whether it could be a spouse or your parents or friends, family, or even customers if you're in business, but just what would that be perceived as if you suddenly had to close down or you had to fire somebody or those types of things that we all run through in our lives or if you had to get a divorce or call it quits, sell your house because you suddenly can't afford it. Whatever it is that someone might be going through,
00:24:23
Speaker
So much of our downward spiral is based on what other people must be thinking of us, right?
Perception of Failure
00:24:31
Speaker
I mean, when you were going through your divorce, was that a fear or a worry of yours? Like what would your parents think? What would the extended family think? Or your friends? Is that something that ever floated in your mind?
00:24:42
Speaker
sure at the beginning where it was like, well, you know, like acknowledge it to yourself, like this is happening. But then I have to help people. And actually, maybe it's help people. When I
00:25:03
Speaker
was making sort of the announcement. I communicated to everyone that I cared about and was just like, this is happening. And just ask them to be respectful and give a space. You know, there's no need to hate anybody. There's no need to comment on social media with anything.
00:25:27
Speaker
You know, be simple, be kind, be loving. And if you care about me and you love me, that's what I'm asking of you. And it seemed to work. This is like you have control over that, in a sense. Some people, well, it makes them reflect in their own relationships. You know, there's a ripple effect.
00:25:54
Speaker
And there was definitely a lot of fear, right, the acknowledgement of this sort of failure. But then, I remember, dear family member said to me, you know, like, welcome to the club.
00:26:13
Speaker
Not the first, you're probably not going to be the last. It's unfortunate, but at the same time, life goes on. So find a good therapist and get your head right. Right. Well, it kind of brings you back into the idea of coming back into your power, knowing what to do.
00:26:40
Speaker
Because that's exactly what you did. You're like, well, I'm going to face this. I'm going to do the best I can and it's what we need to do. And kind of just putting the rest behind you. Because if you're living in that shame, you can't come into your power. So working with shame.
00:27:00
Speaker
One of the ways that I tried to work with that is to love and accept completely and totally love and accept myself and my failure. Like if I'm going to love myself, I have to accept all of them. And if you're going to be in partnership and in a loving relationship with anyone else, then it starts with you.
00:27:28
Speaker
And you can't be hating on yourself. I guess it's not going to work. It'll be another failure. So George Mumford, who worked with the Chicago Bulls and with like, Michael, George and Kobe Bryant, it's one of his things.
Self-Love in Failure
00:27:48
Speaker
Don't be hating on yourself.
00:27:50
Speaker
Right? Because you live to find another day, right? You can't live in that world of not, you know, like you missed a shot. Get over it. There's going to be another shot.
00:28:05
Speaker
When I would say if someone's struggling with any of that, to get with a counselor or a good spiritual coach or a healer even, you know, to help work through the shame, the fear, the guilt, all of that, trying to get past whatever it is that's happened that you perceive as a failure so that you can pivot it and look at something
00:28:25
Speaker
different. I've learned to try to think of, and I can't say I'm perfect, but I've learned to try to think of failures or what I might perceive as a failure, egoically, as an opportunity to pivot in a different way or to find another route. Basically, I've come up against myself and I need to find a different way. Maybe that means the end of something or maybe it means just a slight shift
00:28:51
Speaker
to the left or to the right, you know, then you can move forward again. So it's like you're in this maze, this success maze. And I think it also, you know, it's funny what just hit me is it's really important to define what success is. We all seem so very clear about what a failure is to ourselves. And I think that there's a lot of falsehood in that. But we also aren't very clear on what we think success could be. So to me, I think success is
00:29:22
Speaker
Finding joy in that process as much as possible, learning what you were meant to learn in it, being open-minded enough to shift in some way if needed, and to make a difference for somebody else in the process. Because usually the things I'm working on involve other people, you know, being of service in my business or being in a relationship. So if there's some way, I can feel like I've done a good job in those things along the way.
00:29:50
Speaker
But then like if you're in business or you have a business venture or something monetarily, you want that to be financially successful too. And I know that was something for me as I do a lot of energy healing and I own a wellness center. And I know a lot of people who do this kind of work, they almost have a sense of guilt for earning money.
00:30:15
Speaker
or the word profit is almost like it's dirty. If you make money doing something and you're anything more than just covering your bills every month, it's almost like there's a wrongness in that. And so there's like this collective belief of suffering and therefore failure in this community. And getting through these really limiting beliefs or these ideas that it's a bad thing to have plenty of resources in this world.
00:30:44
Speaker
not a bad thing. And so that's something I really had to overcome. And it's been in stages. And but I never would have addressed this within myself if I had not jumped in and taken those risks to find it within me to heal. So
00:31:05
Speaker
What I would say hearing that, which is important to know, is that from a stoic perspective, the obstacle is the path. If you have this perceived failure, being curious about it and mindfully bringing awareness to it, what was working and what didn't work? Can you look at it dispassionately?
00:31:33
Speaker
and see what you might improve so that it does. And you can still think about what would bring you joy, because that might not change, right? Like, this is the career I want to pursue. I'm going to find a way to make it work. I've found several ways to not make it work. But maybe it's... I can't remember the name of the word.
00:32:04
Speaker
Asian philosophy, but you're allowed to make money for your skills. It's just this energy. You're allowed to make lots of money. It's okay. Internally, looking at your own belief systems where, okay,
00:32:22
Speaker
you see wealth is bad or something or or internally i'm not worthy in some sense which i think a lot of times with failures when people fail at something they
00:32:41
Speaker
internalize it, I am a failure. So they're taking that identity. And it's not the case. It's not the case at all, right? You just look at anyone who's successful. But you have to know that in like one technique. So it's some is fear setting. So what happens if my business fails?
00:33:02
Speaker
Right? Like you can go through the catastrophe. He's like, whoa, I can start a new business. You go through a list of different things, like too offset the fear. You're not preparing for it to fail. You want it to be successful. But like whatever fear you have about that in regards to failure, it can be anything, right? Not just business, but like competition, you know.
00:33:31
Speaker
a tournament. If you're worried about losing, you're not going to be focused on winning. Right. And if you're in resistance, like we said before, what you resist persists. So if you're resisting the idea of failure and you don't even want to look at it, then it's like it's the elephant in the room just waiting for you to acknowledge it, right?
Focus on Success
00:33:52
Speaker
Yeah. In sports, golf is probably the most competitive sport. There is a clear path to hitting a successful shot. There was an old teacher named Harvey Pinnick who used to say, take dead aim. Aim for the middle.
00:34:16
Speaker
There's all these hazards on either side. If you're looking at them or worried about them, look, you are probably going to hit your ball there focused on the good. Take that aim, take your shot, see what happens. If you don't, you know, and a lot of people I would say don't. So the fear of failure is so great that they don't actually live their life.
00:34:43
Speaker
So they don't have to work on overcoming failure, but they're not really living. So focusing on living, and like you said, like, what would bring me joy? Or what would I find fulfillment in, or meaning in, and then focusing on that?
00:35:03
Speaker
seeing where that takes you because the belief is the belief that I have is that these synchronicities will start to multiply and things can change overnight, which is hard if you've never experienced that too. Right, I know. But I talked to enough people where it's like I had this idea, it's low and old, it took off, it's more successful than I would have ever thought.
00:35:32
Speaker
Well, and that brings me back to the idea of these obstacles. It really is, even if it seems like it's coming from outside of us, it's really about what's inside of us that we're needing to overcome. And maybe it's a fear of failure itself, or maybe it's
00:35:48
Speaker
you know even a karmic issue if you're looking at energy healing and the spiritual side of things it could be karma or a family pattern of divorce or something or Even money issues or failures in that way business You know, and so there's these patterns and things or these belief systems that were meant to overcome and so we're being Formed into this beautiful and expansive and powerful being
00:36:18
Speaker
but we can only do that through those challenges of overcoming those obstacles of self, right? So I think, you know, I wanna just encourage everybody, no matter what you're going through, it's really about overcoming you and to not think about it that it's some external thing, even if it is, right? You know, even if it seems like, oh, the economy is down or, you know, whatever it is or,
00:36:46
Speaker
you know, what, I don't know, whatever it is, you know, the external thing that we always like to point to, everybody's got that external stuff, but it's not affecting everybody in that way. So it really truly is something about you. It's about you coming into your power. It's about you coming into your healed state as best as you can in that time to overcome that particular obstacle because then there'll be more obstacles as you grow and get stronger.
00:37:15
Speaker
But you can't escape it either. That's what we're here for. So I know a lot of people are like, I'm just going to be as safe as possible. I'm going to just like escape through this life, no issues. And I'm like, OK. But at some point, you got to come back then. And you got to learn these things and go through all of this. You just can't get through this, whatever this is, without learning and growing and expanding and working your way towards whatever is next.
00:37:48
Speaker
It's all part of living, right? So that expansion. When you take risks, and I think you have to take risks,
00:38:00
Speaker
somehow to live a fulfilling life. They're not all going to go well and you learn something about yourself. You know, the most impressive people I know understand this and they do hard things and sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't and it's okay. They don't stop trying. They don't quit.
00:38:23
Speaker
And there's beauty in that. They're far more interesting people to me than people that don't take any risks and don't. They play it safe. That's not fun to me. That's not a life that I would want to live. Sometimes the universe takes things in their own hands. There's a story I heard about. This guy was in a factory, and he worked really long hours, and he hated it.
00:38:54
Speaker
pages job, but it was safe job. It's a paycheck and eventually gets laid off and he takes it personally. Like how could they possibly lay me off? Like I'm, I'm such a hard worker and thinks his wife's like, you hate this job. All you do is complain about it. And it takes a physical and mental toll on you and our family. So he gets laid off and then he becomes a Uber driver.
00:39:24
Speaker
Something like that. And he loves it. He can set his own schedule. He can work as much as he wants or as little as he wants. And not saying that that solves all of his issues, but he enjoyed the job far more than factory job.
00:39:43
Speaker
and it increased the joy in this life. So there's just things that happen that sometimes seem like they're a curse but really are a blessing. Yeah.
Pivot and Learn
00:39:57
Speaker
Well, I hope everybody feels empowered. I want people to realize their failures aren't failures, that they are reasons to pivot and to understand more about yourself and to move forward.
00:40:13
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, how to overcome failure, don't see them as failures, you know, these events that happen that teach you something about life.
00:40:23
Speaker
And maybe they teach you that, you know, you need to pivot. You need to adapt and do something else or maybe do something for a really long time and do master it. And do you know, you're super successful and now you want to change and find something else that's interesting because it's lost its appeal. That's okay too. But you know, when you're going to start something new that inevitably you're not going to be a master at it right away.
00:40:54
Speaker
One, I think the other thing that's coming through, too, that I think would be important is when we're in times when we think we're failing at something, we often will seek counsel from somebody. Sometimes it's wise counsel, sometimes it's not. And what I would say is, what I would advise is for people to find someone who's been through what you've gone, what you're going through, or who is further along in whatever path you're on.
00:41:21
Speaker
So if you're a business owner, find somebody who's had a business and maybe even failed at it to really help you, you know, failed and then got successful. Like that guy that you're talking about who's been in business for 11 years and then suddenly starts making money. But you need to find somebody who's going to guide you through that pivot.
00:41:42
Speaker
If you're trying to talk to somebody who's maybe never been through a divorce or maybe who's never been through some sort of business failure or a health concern or whatever it is, they're not going to have the wise guidance usually. It's going to be more like me saying, please drive safe to my kids. You need someone who can encourage you through it rather than tell you to shut down.
00:42:13
Speaker
So finding, you know, a professional, a healer, someone who has the ability to help you is very helpful. I would say, and I do say this, it was told to me and I say it to other people, you know, for guys getting through a divorce, don't skip there. Don't make that a habit.
00:42:42
Speaker
But also part of the technique I was talking about, fear setting, is you're not the first person to go through a divorce. You're not the first person to fail at it, whatever. Many people have done it. So there's all these other paths that you can reference on how people met with that adversity. And you can use that as leverage.
00:43:07
Speaker
If you somehow don't have the resources to find somebody, one of the techniques that we do in mindfulness is cultivating your inner compassion and coach, and it's talking to yourself as you would talk to your friend. So if you can imagine your friend through and through some catastrophe or failure, how would you talk to your friend? You would probably be absolutely loving and supportive
00:43:36
Speaker
Sometimes you're the only person in your ear, and it's a skill to learn how to talk to yourself in a way that is kind and loving and supportive. Now, you're in a compassionate coach. It could be the voice of a grandmother or someone that you don't know or love or respect, and maybe you don't know. But just being able to relate to yourself in that way
00:44:06
Speaker
There's a Japanese proverb that I really like that is helpful or has been helpful to me.
Resilience and Gratitude
00:44:14
Speaker
You fall down seven times, stand up eight. I'm not even sure if it makes sense. Just keep getting up. There's no shame in anything. Really. I love it. Yeah, I think that's a great way to end too.
00:44:37
Speaker
Well, hopefully this was helpful to give you some sort of concrete steps to overcome failure. And, you know, there is no failure. That's really how I look at it. It's just, you know, experiences and knowledge and expansion that pick up along the way. This is all part of the brave journey within. So someone wise once told me,
00:45:05
Speaker
I love it. Well, thank you guys. Yeah. And if you need to find someone to work with, help you with some of these things, Jen is a great resource and there's many healers at Nourishing Prairie that you could go check out. And Jim is too.
00:45:28
Speaker
And I've utilized Jim for his counseling services so I can speak firsthand. He's great. Well, it's very kind of you. And obviously, I think very highly of you and your services and the people realize them as well. So thank you. And good luck, everyone. Yeah, great. All right. Bye.
00:45:50
Speaker
Bye. We are so grateful that you joined us. Check out the description to learn more about us and also for additional resources to help you on your journey.