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✨ Spilling the Birth Tea w/ @blooming.birthdoula ✨
229 Plays20 days ago
This week we’re spilling the birth tea with @blooming.birthdoula 🫖👶 We chat about what a doula actually does, the biggest misconceptions about birth, and the real, raw moments that happen in the delivery room.
From first-time mom fears to how partners can better support during labor, this episode is full of honest conversation, empowering advice, and a reminder of just how powerful women’s bodies are.
Plus… we’re taking a peek inside the doula bag 👀
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Transcript
Introduction to Park Moms Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi, welcome to the Park Moms podcast where your host Haley and Becca, this is the place where we laugh and chat about the chaotic bliss of raising young kids. So whether you're about to take a hot mom walk or start a little laundry, let's get to yapping. Let's get to it.
First Guest Carly: An Inspiring Mother
00:00:12
Speaker
Okay, well let's address the elephant in the room. Wait, don't call her an elephant.
00:00:16
Speaker
elephant. She's not an elephant. I'm big guy elephant and I'm right here. The star of the room. Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop. It's our first guest. first guest episode and we want to do more of these we want to I think Haley and we just know so many incredible amazing women and like we want to expose you to them like whether you've heard of them before or there's someone in our neighborhood like it's just incredible to hear from other women and hear their stories and so Carly is a perfect example of that so welcome Carly here yeah she is Here I here.
Balancing Motherhood and Career
00:00:45
Speaker
told her i was going to handle the intro because I truly think so highly of her. And I've told her this many times, so this isn't going to come to a surprise. but And i I feel like I've said this behind closed doors and probably even on the podcast before, but she truly is like the ultimate mom. And like what I mean by that is so easygoing,
00:01:04
Speaker
Literally has five kids and like handles it all seamlessly. stuff All while being like to her neighbor, oh, I'll take your two kids while you're out of town. Or I'll go drop off you dinner. Or yeah, no problem. They can jump in my car with me. Just like so chill, so like loving and giving. And truly just like such an example to me of like,
00:01:22
Speaker
prime motherhood. Also, I'd be like hot and in shape and like just pretty much has it all together. you yeah yeah I'm sweating. She just has it all together. And so she's an inspiration and she's recently gone on a a career journey to become a doula. And so we wanted her to have her on the podcast and share some of her opinions and thoughts and all of that. So welcome. say something about Carly before we even before you were a doula we literally were talking about what who we want on the podcast yes I said we both said why don't we just have Carly we just feel like you're so knowledgeable in so many different ways no but you really are also you're really good example of like you are so there for your kids and you're so like your kids are amazing
00:02:02
Speaker
personal. But also you really take care of yourself. You do the friend things, you do the girls nights. I say yes too many times. You say the sex thing. I do. You're an example of that. Because sometimes I'll be like, I don't want to go the girls thing and Carly's probably at the cost. Yeah, I think it's like, I just, I love being with people. love connecting. I love bonding and like having those interactions. And so I feel like it fills my cup, but there are times also when I'm like, okay, this is like way too much. My schedule is like maxed out. I've got to like spend more time here or there. it's, it's a learning process of just like what to cut out and what, what you want to do and what you don't want to do. Yeah. You know?
00:02:43
Speaker
No, and I know that you wanted to be a doula for a while, but I was expecting like years down the road because how old is your youngest?
Carly's Doula Journey
00:02:51
Speaker
He just turned one and it really like was on a whim. Like I was like, I'm going to sign up for this training and it like didn't really work out. And then it like, it just fell into my lap. And there was actually so many things where where I was like, I think someone had croup right before. Like there was so many things happening in my life and it was like, I almost didn't go to the training and I just had this thing. I'm like, birth is so unpredictable. Life is so unpredictable. And so I'm like, there are going to be times where I'm in a delivery and my kid's home at sick. And so I'm like, why would I not go to the training when this is just life? Like you can't avoid it. And so I, yeah, I jumped in and I'm like full blown, like taking clients and just like stepping into the unknown and it's been scary, but I feel like it's really rewarding. And it's something, like I said, you've said, I've dreamed about it and like,
00:03:42
Speaker
I know, that one of your questions? Is like what got me into it? I'm not going to say it right now, but I just going I'm impressed because when you told me at the gym, like, yeah, I think I want to be a doula. I was like thinking like, okay, she'll do that in like five years. Not one year postpartum. She's over here like already full roster of clients. She's just like already killing it. I do feel like it has fallen into place, but I feel like that's with life where you're like, I'm just going to like try like put myself out there and see what happens. And it's just totally, feel like the doors have just like opened and I'm like, okay, I can do this. I am doing this. And...
00:04:19
Speaker
I feel fulfilled, you know? um I can't imagine a more perfect person to be doula, truly. You're so sweet. You guys are so sweet. I do feel like if there's something you're called to, um to take that next step and to actually do it because
Exploring Unmedicated Births
00:04:34
Speaker
I've been wanting to be a doula for 10 years since my first was born. And a little bit about me, I do have five kids, as I said. My youngest is Okay. Okay. There's no race. There is no race. This is just what my family felt comfortable is bringing in five, bringing five kids to the world. But, um, so it started when I was like 10 years ago. My oldest is almost 10. She'll be 10 in April. And i you guys, could you not, I am 10.
00:05:01
Speaker
terrified of needles or any pain like I can't I can't even do like a a paper cut like I like freak out so I was what I tell you I was terrified it kept me up at night I was like I can't have a baby like I got pregnant and I was like how is this baby gonna come out and I'm like oh my gosh I have to like prepare my mind and I have to like I have to do this So I just read tons of books and I kind of just like immersed myself in the birth world in a sense of like listening to podcasts and reading books and listening to like positive birth experiences because negative ones made me just more fearful of childbirth. and so I feel like that kind of like got like got me into it because I'm like, okay, I wanted to have an unmedicated. I feel like women, we just like children.
00:05:52
Speaker
to experience life, but we also are like, I'm okay if it doesn't work out. Like, we're open to options. Did you do unmedicated with all your kids? Yes, I did unmedicated with all of them, but I feel like, I say i used to say i felt like I got lucky, but I'm like, no, it wasn't luck. Like, I put in the preparation, and maybe it was the fear that channeled that preparation,
00:06:17
Speaker
but i did childbirth classes, like hypnobirthing, if you guys are familiar with hypnobirthing. That's but like 10 years ago, i feel I feel like it's really common now, but like you were a trailblazer. yes Yeah, that's true. There weren't a lot of people doing, at least I feel like it's friends that have doing unmedicated births. Yeah, that's true. I feel like it's definitely become more trendy or popular and like, Especially in Utah like there's a like there's like five percentage that are like a lot of hospital birth and a lot of a lot more women are giving birth inside a hospital unmedicated and Of course with social media like people are
Positive Birth Experiences and Support
00:06:52
Speaker
posting about it. There's videos. There's reels There's like so many more ways to educate yourself online when back then yeah, it wasn't Instagram was a thing
00:07:00
Speaker
just yeah But I had to like really like dive into it and find it and I will say I gave birth to my first up here and I i did an OB b and her name is Amelia Parrott and she is incredible. She's at the IMC Murray Hospital and she was my advocate and I feel like she was such a...
00:07:20
Speaker
distinguishing factor of if I went medicated or unmedicated. Amazing. You didn't have doula or a midwife? I didn't have a doula. I did a childbirth class, hypnobirthing with Adam, my husband.
00:07:31
Speaker
And I kind of just like went into it. I wanted to prepare my mind for anything that was going to happen. like Yeah. I was like, okay, if I'm go to have a C-section, I want to stay calm. If I'm having an epidural, I want to stay calm. I just wanted to have a very positive experience. And like, I knew how sacred and important it was, like bringing a child in the world. Yeah. And so I just wanted to have my own, like...
00:07:55
Speaker
no I just wanted to build my own knowledge up. So interesting that the fear drove you to find out more information because I was the opposite. Like truly I remember my best friend before my first was born was trying to show me a video of like a prosthetic woman giving like birth to a fake baby like what they use to teach teach people in the hospital.
00:08:15
Speaker
I couldn't even watch that video because I was terrified. I was so scared. I was like, I don't want to
Addressing Parenting Concerns
00:08:20
Speaker
know anything. So there like no blood. It was just like a robot. Yes. And I still was like, no. I mean, I've given birth four times. My eyes are closed the entire time. They're like, do you want the mirror? I'm like, don't want any, no cameras, no mirrors. Yeah.
00:08:32
Speaker
Like at one point, I told this on the podcast, there was a little, um, like light fixture above me that I could barely see the reflection when I was giving birth one time. And I was like, can someone please cover that up Like I can kind of see what's going on down there and I do not like it. That's, did they cover it up?
00:08:47
Speaker
No. Like, it's on the ceiling. I'm like, how did they do that? They were just like, no. They were just like, stop talking. So that's cool that the fear drove you to just, like, immerse yourself in it and not scare you away from it. That seems like a theme to your life, honestly. If you're thinking about it, you're like, okay, there's never a right time, but I'm going to do it anyways. I think all of us as women kind of feel that way. It's like, oh, it's not now, not now. It's, like, too chaotic. But I don't think life ever stops getting chaotic, so it's just, like,
00:09:14
Speaker
roll with it and just like, really motherhood yeah, and just like embrace it. And it's crazy, but like still do what you want to do. And like, you're such a good example of that. Um, anyways, we're going to get more into all of the doula things, but we got to start the episode with one of our listeners asked for some advice. And now we got like,
00:09:31
Speaker
three mamas on here now. So I'm going to ask the question and then I'll have you both give advice and I can give advice too. So, um, this is actually from my sister-in-law and she said I didn't have to make it anonymous. So, um, but she texted me last week and she was just like, Oh, full panic. Like she had just taken her two year old. It's her first and it's a little girl to the childcare at like a gym. And, um, basically she did her like yoga class and she was super excited and like, but kind of nervous cause she never like had done like daycare anything before.
00:09:59
Speaker
And, um, She gets done and she goes to pick her up and she's like, she was not good, basically. The people taking care of her? Yeah, the child care workers. She was taking toys from everyone. She doesn't know share, blah, blah, like listing off all the things. It just gave her so much anxiety. I've had a similar situation, so I totally relate. But basically, she is like, don't know if I can go back. I feel so bad. What am I doing wrong? Am I not being a good mom? That type of thing. So I'll stop there.
00:10:30
Speaker
before I get into my own version of the story, but what is your guys' is like thoughts right away? Okay, my thought right away, I heard this quote once, and I probably think about it a little too much, but the fact that if you're worried, if you're a good mom, means you're a good mom. Like, I have to tell myself that all the time, because I think there's so many times we all as moms are like, are we doing a good job?
00:10:50
Speaker
And we're going to I have moments like that every single day. And sometimes I'm like, oh, like my kids are perfect. They're acting perfect. And sometimes I'm like, who is your mother? But the fact that you're worried about it and that like you love them, that's really all you can do. And they're all going have their moments and go back to gym that that first all the person taking care of them should have not said that yeah and I think should be fired I think you need like give the that person maybe be like oh they're having like a bad day or they just like yeah something's on like something's bothering that other person to say those not kind things you know two years old
00:11:24
Speaker
and yeah And they're kids. like They're going to hit. They're going to scratch. They're going to pull hair. They're going to take toys. like That's just a normal part about development. yeah um But it's no reflection on any and on how she parents she Absolutely. so Well, and I think we've all had that situation. like I actually had one the child care gym at Bern. remember this. I think Colson was
Parenting Challenges and Growth
00:11:46
Speaker
two as well. And he um i don't i don't think he... he like There was like blood. like I think, like, something happened. Like, I can't remember. i don't... It wasn't biting. It was, like... Or... Scratching? No, I think he, like, pulled one of the nine-month-year-olds down. or I can't remember. Something... It was, like, a little baby. And i remember literally, like, crying. So much anxiety. And, like you just want so bad for, like...
00:12:08
Speaker
And it's not like, oh my kid's a bad kid, but it's more just like you are hoping that, like, everything's going to be fine and, like, you almost feel like you're in trouble. Like, you're like, oh, no, like, I did the wrong thing. And so, anyways, I gave her that experience and I also said, like, at the end of the day, they're two and they're kids and they're learning. And, like, I feel like a kid's best things about them are also their hardest things. Like, the fact that they're confident and, like, maybe don't want to share toys but, like, can hold their own, you know I mean? like that can be hard sometimes, but it's also, like, probably what's going to give them, like,
00:12:37
Speaker
that confidence as they get older. And like I see like that in Colson now. like When he was two, it was hard for me to be like, oh, you're physical with other kids, but now I'm like oh, that's like such a pro to his advantage as well. And so I think like that's one thing. And then I think as a mom, it's just like, I know it feels so personal, but it really isn't. like And every kid does tons of things exactly like this. And so, and I told her, I'm like, exposure therapy, like keep going back. yeah This is how she learned. she's ah She's an only child. Of course she doesn't want to share toys. Is this her first? Yeah, it's her first. And so it's like, keep going back, like don't you live in the world. The more kids you have, the more you're confident in your own parenting, which makes you more confident in how, if your kids are acting bad, you know it's a phase. You it's the end of the world. Like yeah Colson was your first. so you're like, oh my gosh, what am I doing wrong? Yes. Now that when my two-year-old boy, who's my third, if he does something, I'm like, he's good. He's all good. He's fine. He's more chilling. He's totally fine. It's true. yeah So let's do before we get more into the doula episode. Dueling.
00:13:37
Speaker
Is that what we're calling it? Dueling. Dueling. It's like dueling. can come up with another one. But let's do life updates. Becca, you start. Okay, this is just more of a funny story.
Pregnancy and Everyday Mishaps
00:13:47
Speaker
It's not really a live update. It happened to me today, and I still, like, can't stop thinking about it, and so I just need to share. um I need to get off my chest. Okay, the grossest, weirdest thing happened to me.
00:13:56
Speaker
I've been, like, still in the trenches of the pregnancy, which is just annoying because I'm, like, 18 weeks, and so I'm, like, I feel like I should be feeling better by now, but I'm still, like, throwing up a lot, and I'm just, like, okay, I'm over it. no,
00:14:07
Speaker
But today I was like sitting, I didn't throw up this morning right away. so I'm like, okay, I'm fine, blah, blah, making breakfast. And just, all a sudden, I kind of like go dark, like I'm gonna pass out. And so I just like sat down for a second. I'm like getting so nauseous and like overwhelmed. And like, I don't know if this ever happened you guys in pregnancy, but like, I'm like literally feeling I'm gonna pass out. So I lay down, whatever, and I'm like, okay, I'm fine, get up. Then I'm like straight to the bathroom. Like I'm just puking, throwing everything. I'm like, okay, I guess I need to throw up. But this is the gross part. Sorry, laughing. It's so relatable. This is the gross part. So relatable.
00:14:37
Speaker
I had taken my prenatals already. And so when I threw up, like, I could truly taste like fish. Like, it tasted like straight fish. And, like, I cannot stop smelling fish today. I'm like, everywhere. You're not going to be able to take them again.
00:14:50
Speaker
I don't know I'm going to be able to. Ritual. Okay, I'll bring you some. i had those. have lot of so parallel ones yeah theyy so i'll bring them to guys it's going to be a minute gummies for life yeah the I know so it's not really a life update but it's just so gross like literally when I go the bathroom like it so it smells like fish in here No, probably are in the trenches. I'm so sorry. Anyways, that's my life update. what is What's your life update, Carly? Do you have any like interesting things you've done right lately? fridge went out, so everything fridge.
00:15:22
Speaker
And my car is in the shop. And my husband's out of town. Oh, yeah. So lots of fun things. I love this room for you so much. No. This is what I did. I literally like, chat GPT. Yeah.
00:15:33
Speaker
saved my life. It saved my life. It told me what to do. i turned off my freezer and it realized my freezer's working, but my fridge, the like air vent is broken. So I called the handyman. His name is Adam. He's house tomorrow. yeah And he says, he's going to fix my fridge. And I, why these things oh can win husband but like you guys I feel like I'm like, this is perfect. I can declutter. I can clean my fridge and make it look like,
00:15:55
Speaker
Haley's because her fridge is spotless. Yeah, I can see that. It is. It is. It's spotless. Yes, I did. Yes, I did When I was here postpartum too long. Yes. Yes. We'll get into that. um So, yeah, that's my last update. um We're doing really great over here. Yeah, should I continue with the trend of... My four-year-old got her tonsils and tubes in her ears yesterday. so you know what? You guys, we're just all in it. So, yeah, we're doing great. that we're driving We're in good company. driving Wait, Hayley, I feel like you should share, though, because it could be helpful for other listeners, like, what happened with Blair, because it actually is kind of surprising. Okay, oh
Health Discoveries and Support
00:16:35
Speaker
really, really quickly. When she was baby, she did not septum so like stopped nursing because she literally couldn't gain weight interest and then we thought it was a deviated septum so we were like okay they can't do anything about that until they're like four yeah so we took her to an ear nose throat doctor and if you know Blair she's just like a little spacey like a little in her own world and we just thought that was totally her she does not listen we'll always be like Blair Blair Blair and she's like what what So we take her to the ear, nose, throat doctor and he's like, this girl can't hear.
00:17:06
Speaker
This girl can't hear because she has so much fluid in her ears. And the crazy thing is she never had an ear infection. Which we don't know how because she had so much.
00:17:16
Speaker
So we did this surgery yesterday and he said she actually had glue ear, which is like so much fluid that it like turns to glue in one of her ears. So she got tubes and then also her tonsils were so huge and inflamed that she was storing. it wasn't her nose, but it was her tonsils and her ears. And today, our two-year-old, my mom watched the other kids. He came home tonight and she was like, Graham, you are way too loud because she can actually hear now. Oh, already? She can already hear? Yeah, because they took out the fluid and put tubes in her ears. Oh my gosh. Will you do anything different now with your other kids? like Will you test for that earlier? like I mean, I really don't know if there was anything we could because she like passed when she was an infant, she like passed her her hearing test and stuff. i really think it was just crazy because when kids have so much fluid in their ears, they usually get a lot of ear infections. Yeah, and that's when they like find out. she's always in the water. She's like always in the lakes and and in the oceans. i don't I don't know how we didn't have ear infections, but also they say that four is like the best age to do tonsils. So it all worked out how it i was supposed to.
00:18:18
Speaker
but we're just in recovery mode. So this is a nice little break for me to record tonight. yeah yeah Yes. Yes. My husband has all four kids, including a newborn and one tonsils out. Yeah.
00:18:29
Speaker
big Good job, Camden. He's recovering. He's doing great. Snows for Camden. Cam did. Yes. and Now we're going to go into the dueling questions with Carly. So I want to know, um what did your training look like and is it what you
Doula Training and Its Importance
00:18:42
Speaker
expected?
00:18:42
Speaker
Yes. Okay. So I did my training through Utah birth suites down in Provo with the midwife, Melissa. She's incredible. She does trainings all the times, all the time, birth and postpartum doula trainings. And yes, I feel like it was exactly what I was wanting and looking for. Cause I feel like there are a lot of people that can be like, Oh, you could be a doula. Everyone can be a doula. I went to deliveries that, or I wasn't certified to be a doula, but i feel like having that certification and that like,
00:19:10
Speaker
just the background knowledge of like, okay, this is what you do during prenatals. This is what you do to start your own business. And this is what you do in a delivery at a hospital versus at a home birth. Like there are just so many, there's so much information out there that, and like training that I'm like, okay, i learned different positions, counter pressure and like um different ways to manage pain and things that I can like give to my clients. And I got this huge booklet full of just,
00:19:40
Speaker
knowledge, like resources, information that I can photocopy, give my clients and, and I just feel so much more prepared. um do you have to have a certificate? No, I think anyone could be a doula. I think it really is just having that certification for me was really crucial before I started my business. Yeah, and probably the more you do it, experience will just, like, stack Yeah, so it was two days, to clarify. It was on a Friday, a Friday and a Saturday, and all day, and you paid for the training, obviously. And it was such a, like...
00:20:14
Speaker
community of women that came together and we became best friends. Like um the first question, I love this, the first question that Melissa asked us was, what is, you have to like, what is your darkest secret or what is the secret no one knows about you? Oh my gosh, that's so deep.
00:20:31
Speaker
It was like people were just like sharing. I remember I was crying. that of People like there was someone who just lost their baby. There was someone who was like going through marital problems and like everyone just like was so vulnerable and open. And I feel like that is a lot of doula work is just like being able to be vulnerable in a place where you want to feel safe with someone. Yeah. That you need to feel that like.
00:20:55
Speaker
you need to feel that love and um and so that was a great way to to enter into the training was just being like okay but how like what have you struggled with what is your secret what is something that no one knows about you and it could be something silly like yeah it was it was the perfect training so I definitely recommend it i yeah I told you this too I feel like your superpower and is this is going to translate into your being a doula is that you personally connect with people so well, and to make them feel
Postpartum Support and Connection
00:21:25
Speaker
so loved. And that's why I said, like, you're the perfect person to be a doula. And you just said, like, I think everyone, like, everyone could be a doula.
00:21:32
Speaker
Not everyone can I think it takes a special kind of, like, I know you meant that in, like, certification-wise. Yes, yes. But I really actually do think it takes a special person to be a doula. My mom is a labor and delivery nurse, and she's just, like, the kind of person that you want in your delivery room. And I think that there's people you want in your delivery room.
00:21:49
Speaker
You're definitely one of those. You're so sweet. Yeah, you're so sweet. You guys are building me up. No, but also going to this, I didn't know that a postpartum doula was even a thing. Yep. And I came and took care of me and you guys, when I tell you, it was truly like the calmest that I felt. Like she took my two-year-old to swig. She took my four-year-old to dance. took a nap. I haven't taken a nap. think I was was. And when you came back and you were like so frazzled, I'm like, this is what I wanted for you. Yes. Well, and have a really hard time. You need to rest. I have a really hard time accepting him.
00:22:19
Speaker
And you made me feel so comfortable. I think i was what? Five days postpartum? Four days postpartum? Yeah. And I have a hard time just like letting people take care of me. You made it so easy to let you take care of me, does that makes sense. It's such an amazing job. That's actually an interesting question. Maybe we're getting into this, but since you've brought it up, Hailey, when would you use a doula? Because you said pre-needle, you said it during birth, and like certain times, like depending on the birth you choose, and then postpartum. So like tell us like a little bit about that. Yes.
Doula's Role in Childbirth
00:22:49
Speaker
So i will start. So you can hire a doula at any time. And I'll just say, two seconds, a doula if anyone doesn't know what doula is it is a a so emotional and physical support person that you want in your delivery and what a doula really does is just tries to make your pot your experience as positive as possible and tries to protect like the things that are important to you during your delivery that's what a doula like they build that trust and love and you you know form a birth plan with them and you do um
00:23:21
Speaker
You just feel you build such a strong bond with that person and so I don't replace husbands like I wouldn't ever ever replace a husband I feel like that's the oxytocin between you and her husband is key in delivery. want to hear more about that. What do you mean the oxytocin? Yeah, i tell us. The love drug, the love hormone. Is that something that happens during birth?
00:23:42
Speaker
Yes, you guys. I think about it. Okay, hold on. Think about this. the hormones that you create, that you have when you're creating the baby, why would you not have the same hormones when you're giving birth? yeah Why would you not wanna bring that same environment into the birth space? yeah it same It seems so foreign because you're in a hospital, most mostly. You're in a hospital and there's staff, everyone's dressed a certain way, there's lights, there's like so many distractions and it's like a medical yeah yeah environment.
00:24:12
Speaker
But how beautiful would it be to replicate your room, like where you create your baby and bringing out those same like emotions when you're delivering the baby. actually many questions for you about husbands and birth all that stuff. We get into that in minute. You made me think of like when I pitch people that don't have any kids, like, okay, you should have a kid. Here's why. Or like, obviously not person or they're about to have a kid. I'm like, okay, it's...
00:24:36
Speaker
This is, like, my pitch is, like, you think about the person you love most. Yeah. The two people you love most. Yourself and your spouse. Yeah. Like, you love yourself the most, too. And then you combine that and, like, that's what's coming out. You're creating something you both truly love so much. And so it makes a lot of sense that there would be a lot of that, like, same feeling. Because it's, like, the amount of love you have in that, like, special person. And obviously it's not everyone's case where it's, like, comes from the mom and the dad. But, you know, it can look different and have the same experience. It's just, like, crazy, like...
00:25:06
Speaker
you can't You can't explain how much love you're going to have. yeah I will say, too, it was my first two births that had my mom there. She was so amazing. Love her so much. Truly, like, my favorite person in the world. But then my second two, my third, I was like, I kind of just want Camden, my husband, to be there and not my mom.
00:25:24
Speaker
Just because, like, I want it to feel... Because my mom obviously knows what she's doing. She's like, we're delivery nurse. So Camden almost took a step back. Like, okay, and hold on. Yeah. i Like, let her handle it And then third and fourth time, she's just like... killed it and I felt like it was such a connecting experience for us but he didn't kill the first two times but I just think like it felt like we were really in it together and it was there was some oxytocin flowing yeah like yeah like you look at them holding your baby too like when you look at your husband or really anyone you love holding your baby in the hospital room it's just the coolest thing yeah
00:25:55
Speaker
I remember Sam on the first birth. It was actually really sweet. Our like nurses and our doctor encouraged him to get involved, which I thought was cool. yeah And like maybe as a doula, you do that too. Because yeah I think like sometimes it's not a safe space. like When do I get involved? But they're like, okay, one of you hold this leg up. yeah You're holding this. You focus on this with her. And like i was so special to like help us both kind of bond and like feel like we were working towards having the baby together. Yes. I want you to talk about that too, because like you kind of said, a doula doesn't replace a husband, but I actually feel like a doula could help kind of be like a liaison between you and your husband to give the husband more confidence. So like, this is not all the questions we're going ask you, but I want to know like,
00:26:37
Speaker
How do you get the husband more involved? Yes, okay. I love that. So first I'll ask, I'll answer your question about- We're drilling you. You can dola you can hire doula anytime. i had a client hire me, she was seven weeks postpart, or so postpart. Seven weeks. Seven weeks pregnant. Okay. And then I've had people hire me, you know, 30, 32. You can hire a doula literally the day before you deliver. It's just who you want, who you choose to hire. Yeah. um So, okay, that was answering your question. And then yours was, yeah, husband. Yeah.
00:27:09
Speaker
How do you, like, create, how do you the husband the confidence during birth? Yes. So I usually, for my clients, I like to do about, like, two or three prenatals. And the first one, we go over, like, our birth plan together. I really get to know you. I send you a questionnaire of asking all the questions about your history.
00:27:24
Speaker
what your like your vision of your your delivery, what what that looks like. So I give you a questionnaire, we go over it, and then on the second prenatal is my favorite, and that's when the husband's gonna come. yeah And I am doing different positions with them, with obviously the mom, and we are...
00:27:41
Speaker
doing counter pressures together i give them a form of all like the positive affirmations that they can practice yeah and i do a meditation with the mom after and to get her in the zone and the husbands can sit in on that and they can know what she can prepare and how she can practice to have her her body in a state where she can be totally relaxed and at peace with yeah whatever comes during delivery. And I just feel like having me in that in that prenatal with the husband, with the mom, it's a practice labor so that when we get to that place of birth, that we will
00:28:19
Speaker
We have formed relationships. They already know I'm already touching them. i'm yes I already have a relationship with the with the husband. And it's us three working together. I'm focused on her. she's or I'm focused on the mom.
00:28:32
Speaker
The husband's focused on the mom. I'm more of the physical support sometimes, like my client who's due now. and She is really wants she wants me on her counterpressure doing things. all the things to her body. She's like, i want my husband at my face and like by my hand and like just with me emotionally. And I just think it's so beautiful that like you can, if you want that, you can have that. yeah And your husband wants to help you. Like yeah he doesn't want to sit around. Like I feel like in hospitals, what I've noticed recently is just like,
00:29:02
Speaker
Husbands don't really know their role. yeah They are like, okay, like they see their wife in pain and they're like, I want to step in, but they don't know how. And so having a doula would definitely, um i mean, most doulas do that where they want the husband to be involved as much as possible because that is where the hormones flow and that's where you feel
Involving Partners in Birth
00:29:23
Speaker
safest. Like that's...
00:29:25
Speaker
your husband creates that energy and you create the energy the husband so that you're more relaxed and more at peace to deliver your baby in a safe space. I'm really glad you said that because I think that can be a misconception that if you have a doula, your husband can kind of just like sit back,
00:29:41
Speaker
Just so you know, husbands, do not sit down while she's in labor. I mean, the husband can't. If you have, like, a jerk husband, like, yeah I don't, I haven't encountered one. Most husbands are loving, but, yeah um you know.
00:29:54
Speaker
what it what What's something a husband should not do while their wife is in labor? love this question so much. It's my favorite because the husbands they don't know that they can ask me to do stuff like yeah, I will leave the room I will go get food for you. yeah Yes You can go to the bathroom, but don't take your phone and sit in there for 20 minutes like yeah and this is what we've been We want you there we want your presence and like yeah, if it's a long delivery You can take a nap if yeah, you know get that way if that's appropriate Yeah, um but a lot of the times you're like came and go get food and I'm like, uh-uh
00:30:30
Speaker
yeah What if? yeah Yeah. Have you seen night care talks where the where the husband goes to go get food and then the nurse and the mom like wrap up a swaddle and pretend like the baby came? Oh, that's hilarious. And then he comes and he's like, what? What? there's like Just filming. That's what you get if you leave the room. Yeah. yeah Only for the bathroom. that's Yeah. You're allowed to go to the bathroom. But usually there's a bathroom in the inside room. Yes. And like don't take a nap.
00:30:58
Speaker
Yeah. Unless she has an epidural and we're like all resting. Like there's been times when we're all like just like taking rest. And don't complain. Don't complain about being tired. Don't complain. Don't complain that your back hurts because you're doing too much counter pressure. Like get in there. Like yes that's what you're made to do. It's helped. It is a team effort. Yeah. And I think that needs to be more normalized. Yeah.
00:31:18
Speaker
Definitely, I think that's cool that your position can help give the men the confidence or whoever the partner is to help the one in labor because it really has to be a team effort. We can't do this on our own. no And I do feel like knowledge is power because it is probably more just like not having the confidence of like what I should do. And I don't feel like frequently doctors and nurses like...
00:31:39
Speaker
communicate what that could be. Like, oh, here's where you can jump in. Here's where you should do this. That's what their job too. You know, they just are watching the baby. mount They are so focused on the baby. Everyone forgets the mom.
00:31:52
Speaker
yeah And it's like, no, no, no, no. They're going through a transformation. yeah the baby yeah The baby's coming no matter what. But like so many things are happening to the mom emotionally, physically, and your body holds on to trauma. So you just want to make...
00:32:06
Speaker
at least a doula. We want to make your experience as as positive positive as possible. Oh, that's so sweet. Okay, wait, you mentioned something. Sorry, Haley, I'm going off course here and just asking my own questions. But and you mentioned something about like, oh, someone getting induced, still using a doula. In my mind, like a doula is used for like a natural labor. But tell me like...
00:32:27
Speaker
when it's not that way, what's the case? Yeah, so I feel like, and this kind of went over in my training too, where like doula, there is a doula for everyone. Every single delivery that you have, every single delivery that happens, there is a space for doula. And we we just protect that sacredness of delivery and that can be in any choice that you make. If you have an epidural, you still want X, Y, and Z. If you have a C-section, you still want X, you know, you' there's still things that you want for your delivery and
00:33:02
Speaker
you If you want those protected then hire someone to make sure that those things happen or follow or you know. Yeah, wait tell us more about that like how do you do that? Give us a real-life example when you're like advocating for someone.
00:33:15
Speaker
So my client now she is due any day any second She like goes into birth while we're on this podcast. I actually should check to see where she's at. She's so cute. Yeah, you kind of have to be ready at any time. You can't have that on do not disturb. Yeah, well, yeah, I do have it on do not disturb, but you call me like five times and it answer. Yeah.
00:33:35
Speaker
So she is, her but baby's measuring big, and so, which, you know, you never know with...
Advocating for Birth Plans
00:33:41
Speaker
you know, when you're doing an ultrasound, like the, it could be totally off, but she has a record, like she, this her fourth and she, um, has had bigger babies in the past. And so she's just feeling really good about getting Pitocin on Wednesday. yeah And I have done Pitocin. Have you guys done Pitocin? Yeah. And I've done it unmedicated.
00:33:59
Speaker
ah Wow, I've heard that like hell. But the thing is, is like, yeah, even if you plan to have an epidural, there are still things that you are like, okay, I don't want to pee. Even if I'm having epidural, I don't want an episiotomy. I still want to be standing. i still want to be in different positions with an epidural. And you can. You can push on the side. Yes. You can lay on your side and deliver your baby with an epidural. It's having the right support to put you in that position so that you can...
00:34:27
Speaker
I, this time, an epidural every time. Well, kind of with my second. But this time, i had an epidural. And I was in, I was surprised the positions I could still get into because yeah my midwife,
00:34:39
Speaker
margot's kind of like stuck yeah just kind of i don't really know the position she was in but I wasn't progressing. They had like one leg up, one leg. It was actually a peanut ball. But it's of crazy what you could do. Yes.
00:34:50
Speaker
So yeah, go ahead. Get the epidural. I want everyone to like, I am so pro birth and every day you want to do. yes The mom wants. Yes. If you want a C-section, girl, I'll be there. I will be in the delivery C-section. Yeah. Just kidding. But can you?
00:35:05
Speaker
I haven't been in one, so I don't know. yeah But I know that your spouse can be in. I think a doula can be. they i Photographers. That's a question I don't know. But even postpartum C-section. Like yeah being there for the mom. Yes. Helping her get up. Helping her use for the restroom. Like there are nurses. Yes. And I think that's something we should talk about there are nurses and most nurses are awesome. I don't want to say there aren't awesome nurses, but maybe that nurse isn't the kind of nurse you need. Whereas you have doula, you know that the person there supporting you, you have the kind of person you need Yeah. You have you have that connection and that bond of like there, are I am just there to witness what is happening and just like give that, give you grace and give you space that like, if something were to go wrong that like someone else like another woman is just advocating and they're supporting you yeah no matter what happens um so yeah epidural is like everything you can still you can still have a you can still have a doula and have a positive experience yeah that's because that's my understanding and i mentioned this before we started recording is that you could either be over here with a doula giving birth at home unmedicated
00:36:15
Speaker
Or the other option was epidural, super sterile. Saying yes to everything. Yes, yeah saying yes to everything. Just listen to the doctors. There is so much in between that I'm learning the more that like more kids I've had, the more friends I've had. You can do it your way.
00:36:32
Speaker
and really, that is such a powerful thing. Totally. And i so I've had five unmedicated, three were in hospital, two were at birth center, and I was able to, i had for my third delivery, shout out to Steph, I had a labor and delivery nurse, one of my best friends, she was labor and delivery nurse, and she really influenced me on the impact of just having Someone there to just watch me and support me and like she was brushing my hair She was like helping me in and out of the bathroom and like I was on Pitocin and I was just like so overwhelmed but like looking like to my side and just seeing her just like kind of just like cheering me on and just like
00:37:10
Speaker
Woman to woman. Like it was so beautiful having someone um just watch and be there. And she was feeding me. She was just like such a big influence of like why I decided to be a doula too. It's just like my love, my husband, that there's an energy. There's a girl vibe energy that that comes to the birth if you invite that. And I just I just love having that support. Yeah. That's amazing. It's like a comfort, like a place that like, and truly they are just thinking about you and like, what does she need? Yes. Okay. So do doulas typically stay yeah after birth as well? Yes. Okay. So when you hire a doula, I love that question.
00:37:46
Speaker
and We do a few prenatals, stay for the entire delivery. i like to stay about one, two hours after if they want me to. So a lot of the times, like, first-time moms want help latching and they want like just they want are there when they're delivering the placenta and so I so I give as much time as needed i kind of have sometimes I've got the vibe like okay you guys feel like you want some privacy you want yeah space you want that like golden hour with the baby and I'll and I'll I'll leave or I'll stand outside and wait until you want me to leave but yeah I do continue my care and then
00:38:21
Speaker
six i bring a meal i like to bring a meal um after usually a couple days after and then we kind of do birth birth processing that's what i did with hayley where we just like talked about the birth the highs and the lows like not every birth is perfect and it's not meant to be perfect and so i love allowing time for just like she know we were there i was there during the delivery and she can tell me her raw emotions of like okay was that weird or like That nurse did something to me. like Did you think that was acceptable? or that did you think like How did you feel about it? Usually you're on a high and it's just like joyous, but sometimes there are things that are brought up that you're like, ooh, I'm not I didn't really love that. that and having someone process it right after helps your body emotions.
00:39:09
Speaker
Let go of the trauma. Yes. And kind of like let go and release. yeah And sometimes there's traumatic things that happen that, from my point of view, that... the mom had no idea about. And I don't bring it up and I'm just like, okay, that was a little bit hard to witness, but if that didn't bother you, like that is a good thing and you just, you know, move on from
Healing from Traumatic Births
00:39:28
Speaker
it.
00:39:28
Speaker
Yeah. What advice would you have for someone who does have a really traumatic birth? That's a good question. Like has had one or? or has had Yeah, has had one. Like yeah what are some tools? And then we can, like you can think of this because this is a heavy question. Yeah. But I do have friends that have had really traumatic births and are scared to go through it again. Um,
00:39:47
Speaker
um Yeah, I have lots of thoughts on that. Um, I with my second so I got pregnant Pearl Vera was nine months or Pearl was nine months old when I got pregnant with Vera i was with my girls and I was not planning it and I didn't unmedicated for my first and i'm like, oh, yeah, I got this like i you guys didn't get any books. I was like done it. Whatever got this. Um, no No.
00:40:10
Speaker
I- Second. second I had ah the longest labor. it was in the middle of the night. I had a second de degree tear. and you i had inert i had a doctor that- Vera was born at 6.30am. Doctor was off at 7. She made me push.
00:40:24
Speaker
She was like, getting that baby out. was My finger in stirrups feet were in stirrups. Vera's hand was by her head. So she came out and tore me. Like, unmedicated. Ripped me open. Second degree tear.
00:40:38
Speaker
And I remember just my, I just was so traumatized. I was like, how did I not prepare for that? Yeah. You know, I just did not do the mental preparation, which a lot of the hypnosis and meditation, i didn't read books. I didn't like get my mind in the right. 18 months before um like I got this.
00:40:58
Speaker
And my body held on to that trauma. So giving birth to my third, hence why i hired, or hired, didn't hire stuff, but she I invited her to come. yeah um I knew that my that I needed to release that tension and that fear, and my nervous system was on overdrive. Anytime I'd feel any... like contractions or tightening, I just was like so nervous for my delivery. And so a lot of it that you can do after too is, I have breath work. I did a lot of breath work classes of Jigong Yoga.
00:41:29
Speaker
There's like a breath work facilitator that would do um classes that I would go to that was just like a fear release that would train your mind and your body to just kind of surrender and let go and that's kind of how I've actually lived my life is just like kind of just submitting to things and just surrendering and letting go of like the chaos that's happening around me and just like focusing in on like my inner peace and my inner like where I feel safe and yeah so do you feel like that third birthday You did feel healed from that. Yes. And that was the one with Pitocin. Yeah. And Levi. And it was an orgasmic birth. Yeah. Oh, really? I've never heard that before. I've heard of that. going throw out there. I had an orgasm. My mom's going to listen to this. Hey, mom. Our moms, too. Orgasmic birth, mom. I have heard of that. Like, you literally orgasm as you're giving birth, right? Yeah. Like, yes. It was like high as I was pushing.
00:42:24
Speaker
No way. Like ye a sexual orgasm. A sexual orgasm. And then it like goes back to like how... do you have to like do something to make that happen or is it just like natural? I think I prepared for it in a sense where I was so fearful that I watched people giving birth and legs wide open. Yeah. Delivering. I wanted to... division And that's another thing about childbirth like prep is like visualizing what you want to happen and how you want to happen. Yeah. Like putting yourself in that zone when you're practic practicing your meditation tapes, like pretend like you're in labor. like Pretend like your body, you're releasing that tension, pretend there's a contraction. is the Breathing, maybe comes out breathing through it, visualizing it coming out, and watching videos. So that's what would do is just watch ah watch a lot of orgasmic videos on childbirth online. yeah um
00:43:13
Speaker
And just seeing like how much joy they're experiencing. Yeah. When they're pushing their baby out. And that's through surrendering. And really like letting your body just fully, fully diving into like letting go of every fear, every tension. That's so cool.
00:43:29
Speaker
it's beautiful. Have you given birth mostly in the tub? cool So I did three in hospital and not in the tub and then two were birth centers and they were water births and they were so beautiful. Warm community hospital hospital yeah we know we heard have you heard a hospital but let's go to that let's go let's gove been like hospital now they are duly call society what okay the worm community Hospital has a which they didn't have that oh that's cool that you I think you have to qualify you have to take a birthing class to do it ultimately you also has it they just they did open it yeah Okay, so look it up, do your research. um The midwife group there, I think Diana Lee, am i I know actually, i know Leslie Duvall, incredible midwives, you can deliver in a tub.
00:44:21
Speaker
And I don't know if you can with an epidural, but how cool would that be? I don't think you can. Epidural, probably not. i asked them, like, probably not I saw the tub at Alteview. That's so cool. It's nice being like right at the hospital as well, just if you need to be. Yes, yes there are options. think like There's a lot more options now now. you can do it unmedicated, in a hospital, in a tub. like yeah There's so many different. We had just have lot more resources, which is really cool. yeah So it sounds like if, you know, someone did go through a traumatic birth, like what you would recommend is like preparation, like, and like visualizing what your next one would look like. Yes. And a lot like fear release, like doing the breath work, finding the but breath wake breath work facilitators to actually like heal your body from the trauma and like, yeah like you're basically doing therapy. You're doing therapy through your body. Yeah, because otherwise you just hold on to all of that and it will probably come back. Yes, and come back during your delivery for a second. And so I don't stress enough of just like, yes, do the meditations, do the visualization, but like also do the breath work. And i can I can send those resources and i well if people want to. a way, postpartum doula is kind of a way like a therapy.
00:45:34
Speaker
pissed in a way yeah because like you said you're helping them process that and release that talk about the good and the bad i do meditation i didn't do meditation with you but i was like i'm good i'm not right you're on fire you're like thriving and then they thriving i was thriving but then the next day that kind of happens to me though like first week after i give birth i'm like this is
00:45:57
Speaker
Oh my goodness. Yeah. Yeah. That's normal. That's totally normal. So as a doula, I also check in every week. So I send like weekly texts. I will come visit couple times. I do offer like childcare services. I come to your house for a few hours. I'll clean spotless house. My two year old asked her to go in hot tub. I would do that if he wanted me to do it. What did he say? He did. He wanted to sing with me. He was like, tonight you're... Yeah, he invited me on date. He wanted to take me on date. That is cool. And he from his staff and just said, where's my Carly? Oh, wait. That's so cute. And that's what I love is like... Sorry, I keep kidding. full... No, but it's like a full family thing. Yes. It is a family thing. And that's why when you're looking for a doula, like find one that you feel so safe with and feel like...
00:46:43
Speaker
oh, this just works. It's kind of like dating, you know? Yeah. And... it will you'll You will not regret it. Okay, I have another question for you. It's similar to what you just talked about, but let's say we have like a first-time birth mama on the channel. I'm just going to say, I have few questions for first-time moms. love her first-time moms. I don't know what their birth plan is, so TBD, but what would be like, since you've learned so much about birth, like would be some of the key things you would say to like either prepare for, think about, or like mindset going into
Preparing for First-Time Births
00:47:14
Speaker
it? Yeah. yeah we have what's your biggest piece of advice for first time yeah my biggest advice is take a birthing class whether it be online and do it with your husband because having adam which will make me cry um having adam just know what i wanted and where i was going with and what to be at the same mental place of safety security And like peace. Like I just wanted it to be peaceful no matter what happened. Yeah. And so doing that with your spouse is so bonding and you feel like he's supporting you. Yeah. I also think two husbands, least my husband, when I was so sick and pregnant, he was just like, I just feel so helpless. He felt so helpless. He's like, I don't know to help you. Yes. And so maybe doing that birthing. But I think that would actually make him feel like, okay, this is a way that I can help. Because I just remember him being like, I was like, I just, I don't know. I don't know how you can help me, but this is a way that pregnant is like and the hospitals offer this yeah yeah I just went through the hospital I think I paid for it and they like like an online class and I went in person did it too but I really think it comes down to knowledge is power like when you know what to expect you can operate so much better in those situations especially if they get crazy or traumatic which I feel like especially every first birth there's always curveball you guys birth is not like it expect the unexpected yeah it like it's gonna throw you curveballs so just preparing your mind and preparing like your body to just like completely like trust yourself like like trust that your body knows what it's doing and get surround yourself with people that you trust yeah and that you love and that you feel safe with and um and take that class yeah yeah that's a really good one And you can do that online. There's my friend, Birth With Charity. Maybe she'll watch this. Her name is Birth With Charity. She has an Instagram. She has childbirth classes online.
00:49:12
Speaker
And she is phenomenal. We also do birth circles once a month that we just started. one shouldn't say. we We just started last month was our first one. And we just like throw out like throw out things, pieces of knowledge. like yeah I just did a breathwork um segment and she did a childbirth, like how to manage the pain during childbirth.
00:49:32
Speaker
And I love what she said, actually. She said, it's not pain, but to think, like, to change your mindset and to think of it as power. Yeah. And to think of each contraction as, like, this is so powerful. And, like, leaning into it and working with that power versus fighting against it.
00:49:48
Speaker
Yeah. That makes a ton of sense. Okay. Next question. um What are some common fears or misconceptions that first-time moms have about birth?
Childbirth Fears and Misconceptions
00:49:58
Speaker
Fears and misconceptions. Should talk about the pooping? I literally am like, you're going to poop. Yeah. yeah It's going to happen. It's happened to... of it Think about it, you're so much pressure down there. yeah like Mom says it's like putting a tractor over a tooth, no, a tractor over a toothpaste too. Like toothpaste. That's so gross. I love that mouth. Because it's like rubbing on it, ew. I don't like that visual. That was my biggest fear. My biggest fear was pooping during labor. Guys, don't like if you're worried about pooping, there's so much more to be worried about.
00:50:33
Speaker
it just don't even it like Don't even think about it out of aside If you're worrying about pooping, your mind is, like, not in the right place. Like, just think about your baby. Think about, yes, yes. And just don't be afraid to poop or else you're tense. Yeah. Like, if you're afraid to poo and you're holding that in, like, your body is tight. and And your body cannot bring a baby in this world if you're finding, if it's, like, in fly or flight mode, you know? Yeah. And I've heard nurses say, too, like,
00:51:02
Speaker
they don't Yeah, they don't care at all. Like, it's not gross them. It's part of it. Like, and so I think, like, the only person embarrassed is you. But, like, it truly doesn't matter, like you said. Like, it's just, like, and they literally wipe it up and clean stuff. I can't even smell it. So you're good. They're also just, like, in a mode where they're like, okay, dude, this, this, is this, this. Like, they're not even. yet They're not worried. yeah They're not worried. Okay, what else? misconception or Misconceptions. misconceptions that first-time moms have about birth. Or, like, fears that, like, they really don't need to be worried about.
00:51:29
Speaker
Um... That is such a good question. I feel like that moving lunch is the biggest one. I feel like for me it was yeah helpful to go in with like no expectations. Not like super bad or super good. Like I was just kind of I'm here to go with the flow. I really don't know how this is going to be. Especially with my your first time because you really don't. Now I kind of know because I've done it so many times. i'm like okay I think I know what my body's going to do. And I almost like like that was the easiest way to do it because it was like okay. I don't, like, have an exact way this is going to work out. So whatever happens, happens, and I'm kind of just going to with the flow with it yeah So how do you... That's a question I have. How do you have a birth plan but still be okay with things not going at it? Yeah. Yeah. And I think that...
00:52:12
Speaker
like I love what you say'm like going with the flow. um You have a birth plan and what I like to do with my clients is like, okay, you could want, this is your dream. Like, oh, this is ideal. It's two hours and I poop and I push and I had don't have an epidural and I'm just like. I lose the baby weight right after. Everything's perfect. hospital. It's perfect. And then, yeah.
00:52:35
Speaker
It's not, that's not gonna happen. But if we can pick, like, three of those things. Yeah. And if if those three things happen, amazing. Yeah. Your birth plan, it was a dream. Because here you get your baby. You get your baby in the end. And that is the end goal is just to have a healthy baby and mom. And so, I mean, like music, I feel like I introduce music to a lot of my clients, like having like a calming playlist that they have listened to during their preparation while they're, you know,
00:53:07
Speaker
doing their meditations or like falling asleep to them to just like calm their mind and calm their nervous system. Bringing that to the birth sphere, I feel like that's something that's so easy. yeah During an epidural, you can have music. yeah During a C-section, you can have music. yeah Bringing um a robe or a pillow or something, like some slippers, like something that like,
00:53:25
Speaker
is an item that you can that reminds you of your house. um You can have obviously like the lights dim. You can have a blanket. but So there's almost like you're trying to say like there's things you can control. Let's control those yeah things. Yes. Everything else. Yes.
00:53:40
Speaker
And then I also, with my clients, I go through, like, okay, on a scale of, like, 1 to 10 or whatever, like, do do you want, what things do you do not want? Like, I do not want episiotomy.
00:53:52
Speaker
But if that happens, like, are we going to cry about it? Yeah. No. Okay, wait, what's an episiotomy? It's when they slice you. Which, like that. Is it pretty common?
00:54:04
Speaker
want to. It depends on your provider. um have them with my first two. Did they tell you it was happening? That they had to do it? Yes. Yeah. yeah And he didn't want to. to Yeah.
00:54:14
Speaker
See, sometimes it doesn't, there's it's out of your control. yeah Yeah. So I would not say like that is something you should hold on to is like an episiotomy or not. um I think it's good to have like goals.
00:54:28
Speaker
Yeah. Not just completely unravel if like you said, those things don't go as planned or those goals don't happen. Yes. I only, it's not necessarily a plan. It's just like, It's a wish list. It's like, I wish these things sort of happen, but don't like, yeah it's not, making it or breaking it. Yeah. I have a question.
00:54:45
Speaker
Yeah.
Communicating Needs During Birth
00:54:46
Speaker
Um, if someone is in birth and they don't feel comfortable with someone who's taking care of them, like a nurse or a Tell them to switch. You can do that? Yeah. Okay. okay And a lot of the times, like a doula, i let you talk to the nurses. Like I don't speak for you. yeah I am, i will say like, like doctor comes and is like, oh, okay, your water broke. We need to put you on Pitocin. It's been X amount of hours.
00:55:11
Speaker
And I will say, okay, I love that information. Let's have the doctor leave. We can wear like, we ask the doctor like, okay, pros and cons. Can we wait a little bit longer? Like we, we ask all the questions or at least I will for you while you're contracting, you know? Yeah. And, um, I get more information and then I come to you and I'm like, okay, these are, these are our options.
00:55:32
Speaker
What do you feel most comfortable comfortable about? a lot of the times we've talked about in our prenatals, and I already kind of know, like, remember, you did not want this. Yeah. Do you... Is that still how you'll feel? still that way. yeah Yes. And, like, let's move forward with that decision, and then we bring the nurse or the doctor back in, and then then my client's like, actually, no, we're going to wait. Yeah. I'm not speaking for them. No. I'm just reminding them, oh, we talked about that. Yeah.
00:55:59
Speaker
We, like... Already addressed that so is your is it still is your just kind of like their thing? Yeah, i I love that I am like thinking back to my very first birth and I'm like oh I wish I would have had you there I also think you just feel a little bit like what can or can't I do like is this normal? Yes to like I remember this is like something kind of traumatic happened to me my doctor fell back asleep when she was supposed to come when I was ready to push and I end up having to hold the baby for two hours no two hours and I couldn't push and
00:56:30
Speaker
No, that's crazy. trauma because It was in the middle of the night and so she had a drive and she was like 20 minutes away and then, um anyways, she fell back asleep. I was at a ton and I was ready. And I like, it was, i was telling the nurses, I'm like, I seriously need to push because like the feeling was coming on so strong. yeah And they're like, well, just try to hold it in because if the doctor's like, we can deliver for you. But if the doctor's not here, then like it will be harder to like sit you up. But she's like, I've delivered a baby before the nurse. I've delivered a baby before. So, and like, I, girl, you could have delivered that baby. i wish, I wish I would have like pushed at that time or like new options I even had. Cause what ended up happening is I tore so bad on the back. I tore on both sides. Was this with Coulson? This is with Coulson. Oh, After already a 20-hour labor, too. Your body was just... I was just exhausted. And and then holding it was so stressful. Like, you could literally see his, like, head.
00:57:23
Speaker
I'm like, I just didn't... i I don't even know what the options were now. But I, like, wish... Now you're like, a nurse delivered Levi when I was on Paterson. really? Like, i literally was on the toilet. And i was like, oh, I kind of need to... I kind of feel like I need to go to the bathroom. Yeah.
00:57:37
Speaker
And then I saw blood. I'm like, okay. So I walked over, made contraction, his head's out. I'm standing up, I'm leaning over to the bed. She was like, oh, okay, you need to get on your back. And I was like, okay. You just listened. You just listened to them when they tell you. Because you're also in, you are in a little bit of state of fear, even you know what you're doing. Yes, yes. I still listening to what is around me. Or I could have, I mean, no one would catch him because the doctors weren't there. I laid down, then I had my orgasmic birth.
00:58:05
Speaker
And he came out and she, have pictures of my nurse, like, she had someone, yeah. putting him on my chest, catching them, and I was like, okay, that was so smooth. Like it could have been faster. pulled him out put them out my chest i was really it's not a doctor anything he wants to be the midwife is just like let me see your hands like let me make sure you have big enough hands oh that's cute and that is an option like in the hospital you can request like okay i want to catch my baby or i want my husband to catch my baby like that i feel like wasn't a thing what 10 years ago i never knew that i could catch my baby i never even asked if i could catch my baby no i didn't know that was a thing either like yeah reach down
00:58:44
Speaker
Have you ever had How that be? That would be so cool. I know. I'm like, I don't want to know all these options. You truly are inspiring me. I'm like, oh, I'm obviously being pregnant. It is making me excited. And I'm like, oh, I need to get playlist. Like that's the vibe right now. But yeah, I think it would just be so helpful to have like a cons like if you were there in that moment thinking back to with Colson I had probably like okay Do you think I should just deliver now if I'm ready?
Trusting the Birthing Process
00:59:08
Speaker
And I do feel like it ended up kind of turning out for the worse with how much I tore I really was like bleeding a ton and it was just like he was ready to come at that time I was like the doctor was there to like stitch me up like how do the nurses stitch you up that's the case? I'm not doctor. I'm not a doctor will say doulas are not doctors different than midwives. I don't deliver babies. I, um, I obviously want to, like actually had a dream last night that literally delivered a baby on the hospital floor in the entryway. Maybe, maybe dreams are big guys. But I feel like in that moment was just been like, no, like, like let's breathe this baby out slowly and like controlled. Maybe it would have taken you
00:59:49
Speaker
two hours to push, but you didn't even have the option. Yeah, exactly. know like Like, yeah, maybe you would have torn, maybe that have been, but like you being in control of the situation and in control of your body and trusting your body to just let the like fetal ejection reflex happen. Yeah. Like you guys, how many times do you Like if you poop, go back to poop. Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:11
Speaker
Your body's going to do it. Like yeah you don't have to like push. I mean, okay. First time moms, there are, there are some times we do have to like physically nudge the baby out and push the baby out of your vagina. But most of the time your body will just push the baby out for you.
01:00:28
Speaker
That's so crazy. That's so crazy. That's such a good question. You know how when you're pushing, I've always had nurses or midwives tell me like, hold your breath when you push. but And that always felt so unnatural to me to hold my breath. ah Yeah. What are your thoughts on that? Yeah, no.
01:00:43
Speaker
No, no, no. Personally, maybe people can disagree with me. Because I felt like was going to out. My first time when they were like, hold your breath and push, I was like... Your breath, when you are pushing your breath, your jaw needs to be completely relaxed, completely open, and you need as much oxygen to get to the baby as possible, and breathing helps your your body relax, your nervous system relax. You need that oxygen flowing. like so you know Holding your breath, imagine...
01:01:12
Speaker
If you, okay you guys listen, do this right now. Hold your breath okay and hold your jaw, clench your jaw. You're clenching your pelvic floor. Yeah. yeah yeah It's like tightening. right Okay. So imagine when you're bearing down or holding your breath.
01:01:27
Speaker
Yeah. So how would you do it? Show us the right way. Like breathe out. Do you breathe out while you push? And you breathe out. So in Marie Mongan's book, Hypnobirthing, she teaches J breathing. And that's what I go and over in prenatals too. We do breathing together. And there's all these different kinds of breathing, calm breathing, ja push breathing. Anyways, this is like J breathing is push when you're pushing.
01:01:48
Speaker
And you think of it as like a J. So you breathe in and then you exhale. J continually comes up. Oh, like a J this way. Yep. And then you're breathing. You're visualizing your breath coming down and up. Push up and push the baby up. But then it's coming back up.
01:02:09
Speaker
And then down. That is so cool. I know. and I wish I would have done that because I feel like every time I go, hold your breath, and I'm like, I'm going to pass out. But even with an epi even with an epidural, still need to have, having control of your breath calms your mind, calms your body.
01:02:27
Speaker
helps you prevent you from tearing. Well, and something about the epidural too is you can control. which I think is really cool.
Birth Preparation Techniques
01:02:35
Speaker
Yeah, I love that they have that option. I always go over and check your happy and I'm like, oh, okay, don't press it. But like, how much can I feel? They're like, can I lift my leg? don't know. I'll try. Yeah. But.
01:02:46
Speaker
Okay. Any other like hot tips? I mean, you gave the example of not holding your breath, do J breathing, like anything else that comes to where you're like, I literally never knew this until I did doula work or prepped for birth that like would help moms. Yeah. So, and this is something I've learned actually recently is just like how we're always in like survival mode. We're always stressed. We're always running to the next thing, fight or flight.
01:03:10
Speaker
And how that is like applies to your labor and delivery where your body is going to be in overdrive. You're going on adrenaline. You're going to be stressed. You're going to be nervous. Like there's going to be so many emotions that are coming over you and like kind of taking over and like having your mind be like, nope, we're not gonna go there. We're not thinking negatively. We're not thinking of being like tearing down there. We're not thinking of pooping. You know, we're not thinking of these things, but just like quieting your mind and
01:03:44
Speaker
And really just like being at peace and like being in a different dimension almost. Like being like, imagine like what I would do during my, when I would prepare for deliveries is like, I would think of a place and mine would be in the water because I feel like that's calming. And I grew up in California and I love the ocean.
01:04:03
Speaker
And it was kind of like my place that I would just go to And I imagine literally my body just like floating in a body of water and the sun is shining And I'm hearing things, I'm using all of my senses to just like put myself in that place. And that is something, like a tool that I use during delivery when things are getting so hot and heated, I just am like,
01:04:25
Speaker
No, we're not going there. I'm surrendering. I'm letting go. I'm calming my nervous system and I'm breathing. And brett your breath is so powerful and your mind is powerful. I know you said knowledge is power, but like practicing your breath work every day and you can do this in the car. One of my best friends, Erica Hawkins, Erica Astle, she's married. um She is a breath work facilitator and she works with refugees and she has just, and she is doing a, Anyways, give her master's right now, and she just got recently certified to do um breath work. And um it's like ah her, it's like mind-body connection. And I feel like that applies to everyday life, being a mom, but also in the birth sphere. And what she taught me was breathe in what you want to invite and bring in and breathe out what you want to let go.
01:05:13
Speaker
And I feel like that is so beautiful where you... ah examples of that like bring breathing breathe in energy and breathe out exhaustion breathe in focus out distraction breathe in confidence breathe out doubt breathe in love breathe out fear breathe in of abundance out scarcity anyways you can pick anything positive that you want to bring into you into your body and Exhale what you want to release i'm like I need to do this with postpartum. We're like practicing it as we go like yes, and I do this with my clients where I'm like, okay What do you want to invite into you into your soul into your nervous system into your body? What do you want to hold on and what do you want to?
01:05:59
Speaker
release and let go of yeah my body connection really is so powerful yes yes and I feel like like I said it applies to just like your everyday life and I think that's something a hot take is just like how powerful your breath can be and what you want to invite in invite in through your breath and whatever you want to let go you can let go through your breath I love that. I'm going to use that in my
Positive Mindset During Labor
01:06:22
Speaker
regular life. Okay. You also said you teach them positive affirmations. Like what are some examples some of the affirmations you're teaching? Yes. So I have a list of things that we go over, but it's like trusting your body know what it's doing. Like you're doing everything perfect. Um, you're like saying every contract my body. Yes. Like, yes. And there you can, I have women who do, they listen to the, there's an affirmations playlist and it's just saying positive affirmations. I use that in my delivery for my almost all of them except ones that were too fast. But Simon, he was literally like 20 minutes. I was at the center. Oh, that's kind of amazing. I like, yeah, yeah.
01:06:58
Speaker
yeah That was crazy. He did. But, um, My favorite one is each contraction is bringing my baby closer to me. And I feel like that was just like every single contraction. Yeah, that is sweet. I know, it's so sweet. Because then when you meet your baby, you're just like, i you you just did it. You just like ran a marathon. like yeah It the best feeling the world.
01:07:19
Speaker
meeting your baby for this first time is heaven on earth and it only happens what three four times like how one time if you have one kid um it is such a powerful moment and just having that positive mindset of just like one more i can do this i can do one more like if you think of like when you're running a marathon like 26 miles but like if you do one okay one step One step, it gets you closer and closer to your baby and to your goal. Yeah.
01:07:50
Speaker
love that. It does feel really intense when you're in it and you're having those contractions. Something that helped me this last time is like, I would just look at Camden and just like, we just kind of like smile at each other in between contractions. And like, for some reason it just felt so calming. Like I felt so calm this time. Had an epidural. So like a different story, but I did just feel like so calm. Like I was just like, huh? Like, yeah this is kind of I don't know. it was really unful it cool. was cool.
01:08:14
Speaker
um another question What kind of birth energy do you personally love being around? Okay, I love... There are so many different energies when you go into the birth space. One of them, obviously, I love being calm and like collected and like yeah feeling like this is so peaceful and serenity, you know?
01:08:34
Speaker
But my favorite one is actually like laughter and laughing and like having fun because I feel like that is where your body, anytime you have like, you laugh or you smile, like what you were saying with Camden, like anytime you bring those endorphins into that say that place, your body relaxes and you feel so safe and you feel so loved because you're just like,
01:08:59
Speaker
It's like an everyday You're like, we're just having a good time. yeah You know, like people put on shows and are like, just like bringing their outside personalities and energy into the birth of just like, we can laugh and giggle and have a good time. And like, i think it's not that deep. It's no like enjoyable. fun Yes. It's fun. Like bringing a baby in the world is so, it's so fun and enjoyable. right It should be a party. Like it should be, you should want to like laugh. Yeah. You know, I was going to say, I think Camden actually, like when we get to the hospital, he is like giddy. He's like talking to the, um all the nurses, asking them about their lives, asking where they're from, asking what their favorite part about it. He brings the party and it really does make me feel so calm. Cause I'm like, yeah, this is fun. He's having a good time. I'm yeah having a good time. Now the nurses are having a good time. yeah It doesn't have to be so serious and i think that's really
01:09:50
Speaker
but you brought that up because I thought that was like more unique or weird to me that I was like, Oh, this is like little party or other kids are at home. We're just hanging out. Like, no, get to know your nurses, like talk to them, ask them about their life. Like, yeah, just be, be a person. Like yeah and don't just be quiet and like let them like, you know, put the monitor over you and like they're doing their job. They want to have a good time too. And so I feel like just bringing a light hardness to the birth is really important. Yeah. I love that. You said that
Empowering Birth Experience
01:10:19
Speaker
energy. Okay. Another, question is what do you wish more women knew about their power in birth
01:10:24
Speaker
You've kind of answered this. Gosh, I feel like we were made to give birth and our bodies know best. They know more than we do.
01:10:35
Speaker
And there's so much that we can learn from our bodies and ourselves by just like letting go, well, obviously doing the work of being able to let go of all the traumas that have happened because they will come up in your birth, um, and addressing those beforehand. But I feel like there's just so much power in knowing that like only women were able to do this, not men, men don't have this opportunity.
01:11:00
Speaker
And there is so much wisdom that we can learn from all the women around us. And we can gain such a, such a universal understanding that like this is why we were made and we... I even say this? like
01:11:18
Speaker
we are the divine femininity? Yeah. Feminine. It's like our purpose. It's our divine purpose. It is so innate in us and our and our and our chemical makeup. And feel like God gave us this opportunity to bring children into this world.
01:11:34
Speaker
And he trusted us with that. And we like...
01:11:42
Speaker
I don't even know how to say this. It's hard to put into words. It is, is. Maybe like that's the power. Like we have that built in us. Yeah. If we tap. Yeah. If we have the power built into us or we we have, we were given this power and God wanted us to be able to tap into that power and that divine feminine. And, um, whether, whatever way you give birth, you will feel like you're on top of the world and you will feel like you just conquered like,
01:12:17
Speaker
um you just climbed a mountain and conquered the world is this feeling that no one else gets to experience but women and um and no one can take that away from you too yes like it is yours it is yeah your experience and I think that's what's cool about having a doula is that you get to control the experience and kind of curate the experience that you want to have to an extent yeah definitely okay Carly you said something earlier in the episode of like Believe it's like coming into your power versus something else. What was it?
01:12:49
Speaker
Believe it's coming in into your... You were saying like, it's like your power versus like feeling like it's pain. Yeah. When I talk about it's about pain. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me that quote again. Now I like want to remember. Charity, but my friend Charity knows like she can word it better than me because she is a pro at the childbirth classes. But I feel like when we just like switch our mindset from it being something painful and to more focusing on, okay, this isn't pain.
01:13:15
Speaker
This is our power. This is our like, our like confidence. It's everything that we have and know to be true. Like everything that we are,
01:13:26
Speaker
that is If we tap into that and use that with our contractions and use that with um our bodies, then our mindset changes. And we're yeah able to just like realize, like no, this is I want these contractions to happen. I want this like pain to happen so that i it brings my baby closer to me. And that I... like I can just have this moment of pure serenity and joy when you're just...
01:13:58
Speaker
When that feeling, like you said, about bringing that baby on your chest, there's nothing greater in this world than having that moment with your baby. You've been waiting for that baby for nine yeah months, plus months, years. you know You've been praying and and waiting to meet that baby. And that experience is is is's just something like no other. but yeah There's no word to describe it. but But yeah, tapping into that power of just knowing that yourre body was made to do this and you can do it. and is something
01:14:30
Speaker
God given. Yeah. Becca, I'm jealous. You're going to give birth again This is like making me want to give birth. thus It's also kind of giving me like, no i'm done it does give you like a sense of peace though of like, this is what I meant to do. And like belief in yourself. And it is it is exciting also to think like, Oh, I'm going to experience that. And it's also kind of weird to think it's my last time experiencing it too, but it is, it's probably sad. Like, and maybe that's part of the mission of being a doula is like, you know, you've have your family now. i don't know if you want any more kids. Um, But now you're helping other people and you're watching and helping people feel their own power and yeah enabling them to be successful, which is such a like cool life mission. yeah I'm so glad you're doing this. okay i we have one last question just like a little bit lighter okay okay What is in your doula bag? oh lots of things. Well, gosh, I i have essential oils.
01:15:23
Speaker
I have like some lotion. I like to give like hand massages or foot massages when we're just kind of like hanging out. Yeah. And just like waiting around. Like you're there at the hospital or birth center like. A long time. A long time. Like I want to bring things that we can just like.
01:15:38
Speaker
something to do. And then comforting things. Comforting things, yeah. um Some don't want essential oils, but that's totally fine. And then I have a birthing comb that you can squeeze. Have you guys done those? I've seen them. I've never done it.
01:15:50
Speaker
Yeah, so I have a birthing comb that the mom can squeeze. I have a change of clothes for me. bring snacks. Love it. So I... What kind snacks? I have lots of snacks. I have, like, protein bar. have a banana. Like, not every day I have a banana. It's, like, not molding in my bag. I have I grabbed it usually on my way out. I love, like I have nuts in there. What else do I have?
01:16:14
Speaker
oh on electrolytes. i have electrolytes. Because that's another thing during delivery is you can eat in the hospital. Like they tell you not to, but like Go ahead. Eat what all you want. If you throw it up, great. I brought my own bone broth this time because, like, you can have bone broth there. But I, like, went and got the good one from Costco that I like. And that was really helpful. Yes. Having, like, liquids, like, some nutrients. Yeah. And that's something that Dula, like, I love to do is just make sure that you're you're fed, you're hydrated. And if you don't want food, you can, you know, push it away. but Talk about your film idea, too. Your film. Oh, yeah. what you're doing, too, which I think makes. The Polaroid. Yeah.
01:16:50
Speaker
So my husband gifted me a Polaroid camera for my but or for my birthday, for Christmas. This was two months ago. And so I gift a few shots of you during your delivery and with the baby with your baby after. that's sweet. So I take a little shots. but i Yeah, I love that.
01:17:07
Speaker
And I just have something special that I like to add to my package. But... amazing You would have like all the thoughtful things. Is there anything else in your bag? So, oh, oh my gosh. I have a rebozo. You guys know what rebozo is? I've never heard of that. So it likeca it's like it's from Mexico. I think is when where they like originated. Um, it's just like a, like a shawl, like a, like a Mexican, usually Mexican imprinted shawl. And I use that on your, if your baby's not in a good position and you're on all fours, and this is either like before an epidural.
01:17:42
Speaker
And i put it around like your tailbone and your back and i do like little bicycle movements. Have you seen videos of those? yeah yeah And that helps because the baby is like in a hammock and you want um you want the baby to be in the right position where the head is not sunny side up, it's the right.
01:18:01
Speaker
you know, goes down. And um so that you're, so that you don't want, obviously, you don't want the baby's spine and your spine to be aligned. So you want the baby to be in that little hammock. So yeah doing this kind of shimmies the baby to be in that. yeah That's amazing. boza the doulas have yeah doula has doulas have those in their bag they that's if that's a thing and then i oh i also have a birth sling have you guys seen one of those so you can google it but it's something that hangs from the wall and it's a sling and you can put your body in it and oh cool from side to side so it like wraps over your chest or your belly more comfortable and like not as much pressure yes yes so you're like getting that weight off of your body and you can be like and you can do um squats in it um you can like there's a thing where you can hold on to it and like yeah do different positions um and so that's really fun that i bring to my deliveries um especially in hospitals where they don't have those they have them in birth centers they have birth slings and stuff um so i bring that and yeah water
01:19:08
Speaker
Yeah.
Doula Essentials and Contact Info
01:19:09
Speaker
Snacks, food. I feel like snacks are like the best. Yeah. I love that. Um, well, I'd actually so interesting. This really comes full circle. Cause when I was describing you, just thinking about how I know you as a person, like it truly is like what makes you a good doula, like so nonjudgmental, easy to be around, calming presence, just there to support people. And like truly that's just how you are as a person. And so like it makes you,
01:19:32
Speaker
say like you have Come my birth. I'm not going to be. I was just sending it out. You would. No, I'm just kidding. You're sweet. No, I would. I do. Stay far away.
01:19:45
Speaker
Stay far away. I feel like, um, what I feel like if you are called to something, if you know you have gifts, if you have special, there's just special things that you know about yourself. Yeah.
01:19:58
Speaker
Try to find, find the hobby, find the thing that you love and like, do it. Just like move forward and just trust that like it will fall into place. Yeah. Because I feel like that's kind of how it's been for me where it's like, yeah, I might not be at the right timing. I have five kids. My husband travels. People are literally like are you insane? Yeah. Like, what you are you trying to do this? Yeah, I'm crazy. I'm crazy. Yeah. But I feel like you guys are the same too, where it's like you take your hobbies and your passions like this podcast and you're like, I don't know how i'm going to do this, but we're winging it and we're doing it. And I feel like that's what being a doula is. I'm like, I am going to learn from each delivery that I go to in each person. But like,
01:20:36
Speaker
where I feel fulfilled or where you feel or you Becca, like, I feel like there is fulfillment in any aspect of your life. It's just finding and navigating where you feel that and where you feel called to. Yeah. Okay. Actually, let's end on this question.
01:20:50
Speaker
How has becoming a doula helped you a mom? Oh, that's good. Cause like you said, like initially you'd probably think, okay, have five kids. Is this going to take away from them? Is this like, should just be focusing on them right now? Like,
01:21:04
Speaker
you It has added so much to my life with my kids because I feel like when I'm not with them, like I feel like I'm doing something like really important. Yeah. And I'm really like helping other women. And I know my girls will see that and they'll look up to me and be like, wow, she like followed her dreams and did something that she really loves. And so being coming home after...
01:21:30
Speaker
doing work, i i just feel so much more connected to them because i I see them in a different light where I'm like, wow, you you are so beautiful inside and out. And I know one day, someone will take care of you during your delivery. and you hopefully' you know's good But I just, I want them to feel safe and loved and protected. And I feel like by honoring your birth space that translates into my everyday life where I want them to feel that same kind of love and feel that same kind of safety at our house and in our home.
01:22:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, think that's really beautiful. Yeah, it's all like, no, it's truly like all connection. I'm like I'm going to cry. No, as you should. We cry on this podcast a lot anyways. But it is like that connection. And like it's also connection like with the earth, like heaven side. And like you bring that back to your home. And like even like watching people go through challenging things, it actually kind of puts your life in perspective too. Absolutely.
01:22:26
Speaker
okay, what I was stressed about isn't that deep? Like, I... And I can get through it. Yes, I can get through it. And, like, honestly, you inspire me. Like, maybe I should meditate with my kids. That could be, like, good vibes. Yes. Yes. boy i love putting on, like, meditations or peaceful music and... breath work breath work yes and just like teaching them that they can they can work through hard things is like so important yeah i was gonna say after i gave birth to margo feel like i even coming home to my other kids it made me like love and appreciate them so much more because it made me remember them as babies yeah that makes sense like i just like you were just a baby like you're a really frustrating six-year-old right now but like you were just a baby and
01:23:06
Speaker
yeah you're just still i yes that makes it so special yeah totally and I think if we like look at them as like there is an inner child in each of us and like finding that and kind of like leaning into that where it's like it's fine to be it's it's fine to be wild and silly and funny and it's also okay to make mistakes and it's it's you that that's where you learn and grow and like develop as a person and And so, yeah, looking at your child as someone that's, they're going to be experiencing all these things in life and just like teaching them how to like come back to like, no, actually the most important person is you and how you take care of yourself and where you look inward that will then serve like everyone outward once you like focus on yourself.
01:23:50
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my gosh. This is the most inspiring episode we've ever had. hu I'm like, do I make sense? So you're making sense. Like I'm coming so out so inspired and it just makes me think like kind of where we started on this episode of like, there's so many incredible women out there and like sharing your story is just so helpful for everyone else. So thanks for being willing to come on and share. so Thanks for having me guys. Really quickly, Carly, for people that want to connect to you or possibly hire you yes what's the best way to do that yes okay so you can reach out to me I have an Instagram it's at blooming blooming birth dot birth what is it at blooming dot birth doula we it well yeah it's in the link that's so funny blooming dot birth doula yeah blooming dot birth doula If you are pregnant and you are wanting to hire doula, you just met her. Mm-hmm. If you're a doula, if you'll it, reach out to her. She's truly the best. Yeah. And if not, i like, you're just, obviously we we're inspired like we were. And, like, truly thank you, Carly. I'm so glad you came on the podcast. Thanks, guys. Okay. Bye. Bye.