Transcript
Jo: hey Hey everyone, Joe here and today's special guest is someone who kicks my butt up and down the supernatural ladder. That's for why we got none other than I almost called you MVD because of my head.
Jo: whole RVD thing. That's why I keep doing one those. Mary Van Doren from SugarmamaStrong.com. How you doing?
Mary : Yes. Hi, I'm good. How are you?
Jo: I am amazing. Thank you for asking and thanks for coming on the podcast. I have to say you are inspirational more than one way. And I know, right.
Mary : yeah
Jo: And it's not just like the the actual story of it all. Right. is going to be the breakdown of your lineage from where you started.
Jo: Well, two years ago last year.
Mary : Like my my wellness journey as a whole or
Jo: Yes. Yes.
Mary : it's been a good 12 years of that.
Jo: 12 years. Oh my God. 12 years. All right.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: So that's where we start. 12 years.
Mary : Okay. Yeah.
Jo: Break it into me.
Mary : So at that time, my daughter was two. My son was seven. And I couldn't hang with my kids.
Mary : i met like I couldn't keep up with them.
Jo: Right.
Mary : And I remember my daughter was at that age where she just wanted to like run away from me. And we were in a parking lot. And I got her out of the car.
Mary : And she started to take off. And I was so scared I wasn't going to get to her before something really bad happened. I did. Thank goodness.
Mary : I probably ripped her arm off, you know, and I flipped out.
Jo: Right.
Mary : But inside I was like, oh my gosh, this.
Mary : I'm supposed to protect her. Right. And I was like, I can't run block, you know, in my shape.
Jo: yeah
Mary : And. I wanted to be the mom that played with her kids, not just watched her kids play.
Jo: right
Mary : And that's kind of the catalyst for everything that I do is being around for them. And now, you know, I have grandbabies that I want to keep up with. That's crazy.
Mary : I know. I'm way too young to tab have grandbabies.
Jo: Okay. and know I know was like, uh, one of us looks really good for their age and other one is me.
Mary : Well, thank you.
Jo: he yeah you know, so, but that's exactly it. You want to do your health journey because you've got kids. You need to be around for the kids. You need to be able to play with, not just like watch life go through them.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: Right.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: And that is a pretty decent wake up moment. So was it startling to go, Oh my gosh, what do I do first?
Mary : for me, the.
Mary : I've been dieting my whole life.
Jo: Right. Okay.
Mary : I've always been, I think I went on my first diet when I was 15.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : I've always been the biggest in my group of friends. So it's always been something that I was very aware of. And I grew up with a mom who was in the same boat as me.
Mary : So then we kind of did it together,
Jo: okay
Mary : which
Jo: yeah
Mary : You know, each other's biggest supporters, but also equally good at sabotaging each other. So for me, the exercise part always came easier than the food part.
Mary : And so I started with that.
Jo: Yeah. Yeah.
Mary : And I quickly found things that I loved, which is something I never thought I would say. But I started with Zumba. Then I started running. I've done, you know, half marathons at this point.
Mary : I remember the first big thing that I tried that i signed up for was a triathlon.
Mary : I went from doing nothing to signing up for a triathlon.
Jo: yeah
Mary : I was 215 pounds at the time. And I remember people saying, why would you do that? I'm like, why not? Right.
Jo: I'm saying that now, why would you do that?
Mary : And I did it.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : And my only goal was to finish and not be last. And check, check. You know, I did that. I'll never do it again. i felt thought I was going to die. bye For me, that that activity has always come easier. It was the food part that I struggled with.
Mary : And I still struggle, you know, even here in maintenance now. You know, but for me, honestly, the not knowing where to start, you just have to pick one thing.
Jo: I'll
Mary : And just decide this is the one thing. And then when I get this one thing, I'll tackle the next thing.
Jo: move on.
Mary : And then the next thing. And then eventually all the things are working together and you're like, okay, this is the new normal.
Jo: Yeah, I know. That's what Arnold would say. What would this look like if it was easy?
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: You pick that one thing and then pretty soon you're like, oh, my house is clean.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: you know I just started dusting off the little thing and it keeps going on that way.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: and I think because we're both competitive, like alterally so.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: The athletic part is almost like, yeah, this is something triathlon. Okay, not last check mark, you know, all these things we can do athletically.
Mary : Right.
Jo: And then the food is the kitchen, right? It's always the kitchen.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: That's the hardest part sometimes.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: And you have a, you said you have the best thing is you're doing it a bit with your family, but it's also great competition and great. A little bit of like, Hey, let's have a cake.
Mary : Right.
Jo: that it? Okay.
Mary : Yeah. And, you know, without getting too much into like my childhood
Mary : issues, you know, my mom battled the same thing her entire life. And when she passed away, she was still battling it at 76 years old, still worried about, you know, what the scale said and what size her pants were and, you know, how many grams of this did she have.
Jo: Right.
Mary : And I don't want to be 76 years old
Jo: Right.
Mary : trying to shrink my body. Like I just, i I had to figure out number one, how I got to where I was and to really dig into the mental stuff, which I think is what a lot of people on their wellness path ignore because they think it's diet and exercise.
Jo: right
Mary : All I have to do is diet and exercise, count my calories, move my body because that's what we hear all the time. But I'm telling you, if you don't figure out why you do the things that you do, why you quit on yourself, why you are an emotional eater, why you bury your feelings in Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
Mary : Like if you don't figure that out, dude, I used to watch the biggest loser eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : Okay.
Jo: It was $2.50 when it came out. It's not my fault either.
Mary : like Okay, but do we see the issue here is that I would be like, oh my gosh, this is so emotional.
Jo: ah
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : This is really triggering something in me watching these people change their life no matter how toxic that show was.
Jo: well yeah
Mary : You were seeing people do it in a massively unhealthy way. But anyway, and that's how I would medicate it.
Jo: Wait, wait, wait. that That's massively unhealthy to lose as much weight as humanly possible or not possibly pending and no actual follow-up plan whatsoever while you're doing it on in camera?
Mary : Well, no follow-up plan, dehydrated when they get on the scale.
Jo: Completely dehydration.
Mary : Like, oh my gosh, horrible.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : But I didn't know at the time like how bad it was until I started educating myself. I just saw this. I just saw the transformation, you know?
Jo: Yeah. Well, that's what sells.
Mary : Exactly, exactly. But man, until I added the self-care mindset component to my diet and exercise, I was like this.
Jo: Yeah.
Jo: And that's me.
Mary : I would lose and then I would gain and then i would lose.
Jo: Yup. Yeah.
Mary : But and once I started that like mindset work that, what do they call it? Professional development, you know, the self-help books that I thought were so stupid.
Jo: work on you
Mary : and makes a big difference.
Jo: it does because i am one of those people well i will have food paralysis you probably know what this is you look the label so long you're like do i buy this do i not buy this 20 minutes later you're still like okay he's got three grams of fat and then half hour the store's closing like you still got the same box hand going okay hold on if i do like oh i bought nothing today what's wrong you know
Mary : it's like an obsession i feel like you get so hung up on the little things that you it's analysis paralysis right that's what they call it yeah
Jo: yeah
Jo: little details yeah yes absolutely yeah absolutely and then you discover the wellness portion of it that the actual wellness of it and that unlocks it and
Mary : yeah
Jo: i I think the wellness portion is missed. okay Tony Horton, yes, pushes the wellness a thousand percent, probably Shanti as well. and A lot of programs miss the wellness.
Jo: It's almost like a shame system. What you did wrong with today.
Mary : Right. I mean, okay, so my diet of choice growing up starting at 18 with my mom was Weight Watchers. And for any Weight Watchers listening, no offense, this is just my experience.
Jo: Right.
Jo: That's my sponsor today, by the way. Thanks. Sponsored
Mary : Is it really? Shut up.
Jo: by Weight Watchers? No.
Mary : Okay. So I probably have joined Weight Watchers 15 times in my life because I would join and then I would quit.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : Because what you do is you join and you're like really good for three weeks and then you gain five pounds one week and you're like, F that, I'm not going back. And so... I once I started really exercising, I mean, there was a point where I was teaching six fitness classes a week, plus running and training for races and doing all this stuff. And then I would still be at Weight Watchers because I was the the plus size instructor everywhere I went.
Jo: right
Mary : And they would be like, you earned 57 exercise points. So I would get all these extra points for exercising. So i'd be like, cool. Three Krispy Kreme donuts is 15 points.
Mary : So am I really learning anything? Not really.
Jo: no
Mary : And second, it was like, I just talked to my group about this the other day. Like you get in there and you step on the scale and they give you a star, like a sticker.
Mary : If you lose weight, like if you lose five pounds, you get a little sticker. I'm like, this is such a, I don't know if they still do that. I just, when i went there, but it was like, so
Mary : I don't know. Like, good job. don't know. It just.
Jo: Well, keeps it going. It's the Las Vegas casinos we have in our pockets with the phones. There's notification. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. ding ding
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: Good job, good job, good job. And it's those things. And they had their own food brand, right?
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: If I remember correctly, it was like a whole system that they put to it.
Mary : Yeah. I mean, well, you didn't have to use their food, but they did have they had that available to you, like oatmeal and snack bars and things like that.
Jo: But, yeah.
Jo: and they never really touched what's actually the root problem. It's it's basically United States Healthcare 101. I was like, we won't actually tell you what happened, the reasons why these are happening, but here's this.
Mary : Yeah.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: Go for it. Yeah, and this leads you into more of a wellness journey.
Mary : Yes.
Jo: And then what about Sugar Mama Strong? Wouldn't that be a mess?
Mary : So this is a great story and also my favorite topic.
Jo: Okay.
Mary : So, you know, if we run out of time, let me know. So Sugar Mama Strong actually was born from my Beachbody coaching
Mary : education, I should say, totally by accident.
Jo: Okay.
Mary : When you are part of a multi-level marketing company, they tell you to find your people. right Find the people that you want to help. And so I signed up for this training.
Jo: and
Mary : And one of the first things they made us do was to write down everything about yourself that you could possibly have in common with other people. So for me, it was like lost 100 pounds, divorced, divorced.
Mary : I mean, I'm remarried now, but right, you know, type two diabetes, you know, fitness instructor.
Jo: I've got hair, I've got eyes.
Jo: Right.
Mary : I listed all these things. And then it was like, okay, now who do you want to help? And so it was like looking where where do I want to focus my energy and really help people?
Mary : What do I need in my life?
Jo: Right.
Mary : Right? Right. And i was like, I am going to start. So I had already joined, backtrack on Facebook, a bunch of diabetes groups as we do, right?
Jo: Yes.
Mary : Just like Supernatural, right?
Jo: 12 of them.
Mary : You join all the little groups.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : I had joined like five or six diabetes groups and everyone was so mean. They were so mean to each other. Like I remember like someone posted for, top I don't know if it was me.
Mary : don't know. Taco Tuesday, right? They had a tortilla and you would have thought that they just murdered someone on the street. The way that the comments were like, you ate a tortilla. Like it was, they were calling the food police. And I was like,
Mary : This is not for me. Like i'm I'm hard on myself already.
Jo: No. Right. Right.
Mary : i don't need strangers behind their keyboard like yelling at me for what I ate.
Jo: right
Mary : I'm never going to post in this group, right?
Jo: right
Mary : And so I was like, you know what? I'm going to create my own support group where people leave Happier than when they got there, more supported than when they got there, you know, less confused than when they got there.
Mary : And that is how Sugar Mama Strong started was because I couldn't find the support that I wanted out there.
Jo: Yeah. Nice.
Mary : And so, and I made it women only because I think I do have a men's group, by the way. I don't think we've ever talked about that, but, so Sugar Mama Strong were about 5,400 women.
Mary : Now.
Jo: but
Mary : and every day we share, i post a little funny meme and everyone shares their numbers because when I started it nine years ago, that's crazy. One of the things that I wasn't doing was checking my blood sugar as much as I should.
Jo: yeah
Mary : So I decided, well, if I'm not doing that, probably other people aren't doing that. So let's, you know, make a post every day to encourage people to do that. And nine years later, we're still, I'm running out of memes.
Mary : So, you know, if you ever have any, send them my way so I can use them.
Jo: Well, I'm looking my meme pie. I'm like... Maybe we'll save these for a little bit later. Yeah, but that's exactly it. We've all been in those groups where it's kind of like just nagging.
Jo: I'm like, why why are we here just to trash on each other? Like, that's not where, you know.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: And so you doing Sugar Mama Strong on Facebook and SugarMamaStrong.com, that is, you know, not to re use a phrase that's been killed off.
Jo: You are making the change in the world that you wanted to see. You are that change.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: And I have to say just by our regular Facebook supernatural whatever, you are pretty darn positive.
Mary : I try to be.
Jo: You're happy. You share. it You voice people up. you you You put them up, right? And that's amazing to see. It really is, especially in the fitness or health community. My gosh.
Mary : Yeah, there's a lot of judgment out there, especially as social media takes over our whole life.
Jo: It's almost unheard of. God.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : People feel like they can say anything with no consequence. And so, you know, we have all experienced some sort of hate on social media.
Mary : And so I try to be a positive light in that realm.
Jo: Yeah. yeah and And that's the weird thing is because there actually was year or two after a pandemic happened.
Jo: There was a social media platform that was like, we're the positive one. It did not last. It's like, we're out of beta. We're closed. I'm like, oh, God.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: No one wanted me positive, I guess. That's horrible. But with Sugar Mama Strong, you are backing your action with backing your words your actions, right? And you've been there so you can help people who are there, too.
Jo: And if
Mary : I'm still there.
Jo: yeah and
Mary : i mean, yeah.
Jo: that's the amazing thing, right?
Mary : Well, especially, you know, so Sugar Mama Strong has women from all walks of life.
Jo: This is proof of honor.
Mary : I think we range in ages from probably 20 something to 80. mean, i mean
Jo: yeah
Mary : over decades and type one, type two, adult onset type one, you know, gestational, pre-diabetes. We have caretakers, you know, spouses, a wide variety of people who are always asking questions, responding with support and kindness. And I have like a no strike policy. Like you don't get a warning.
Mary : If you're you're then you get the boot and that's it. Cause don't do that.
Jo: Right. Right.
Mary : But I'm still there, even though my weight has changed. And over the last nine years, I'm i'm at my goal weight now.
Mary : I never thought I would say that. But the diabetes part is still there.
Jo: right
Mary : I still have high numbers sometimes. I still struggle with lows and highs and all of that. And, you know, just because the weight has changed, its I know a lot of people think, all you have to do is lose weight and your diabetes will go away.
Jo: forever look yeah that that's an important part that i honestly is an important part because diabetes can almost be seen as like the internal if you don't have the external symptoms that we all we all recognize the weight gain you know if you don't have that like
Mary : No, um I'm still here, still on meds. So.
Mary : Right.
Jo: you got that what are you talking about it must be cured yeah that's the exact you don't look sick you why are you feeling this why are you low energy
Mary : Right. You're not sick. You don't look sick.
Mary : Yeah.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: You look good. You look healthy.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: Exactly. No one actually believes it, right?
Mary : Right.
Jo: And to have a support group for people and especially like spouses or caregivers or someone who's in their family who wants to support and might not know how, I think that's an essential service that you're providing on Sugar Mama Strong, right?
Mary : Right.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: Now, has there, and you can just skip the question, has there ever been a time where you read someone's story and you're just like, Oh God. Like just started not crying, crying, but you're like either tears of, I thank God I'm, you know, this person's reaching out or just like emotionally need to be cleansed.
Mary : Yes to both.
Jo: Okay. Yeah. Sarah.
Mary : There have been stories of women who have told me that the group has saved their life, that they were killing themselves slowly every day by ignoring their health and by, you know, kind of putting their head in the sand and that the positivity and support and kind of sisterhood feel that we have in the group kind of brought them back to themselves.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : And it's impossible to read stories like that and not be moved by that. I've also read stories, nightmare stories about side effects, about complications, about,
Mary : you know, amputations or vision loss or dialysis. I mean, it's, it's real talk in there and there's, it can be overwhelming when you're not ready to hear that information, you know, but we're not here to sugarcoat it, pun intended.
Jo: yeah
Jo: Yeah. Yeah.
Mary : But at the same time, we don't, I don't believe in scare tactics. So, That's kind of a tough balancing act in the group because that never worked for me.
Mary : Well, aren't you afraid of going blind? Well, that's not going to make me eat better. Like it had to be something meaningful for me, you know?
Jo: yeah
Mary : And so that part never worked, but then some people will respond to posts that Where it's like, you know, my blood sugars are high and I'm scared, but I can't get motivated or whatever. And someone will post a picture of them with their amputated leg and be like, you better take care of yourself.
Jo: Like, oh, I'm to work out today. Yeah.
Mary : Like, to me, that's not it.
Jo: Yes. Absolutely.
Mary : That is not... And so i remember making a post saying when someone comes here venting and sharing and and, you know, bearing their soul about this management, they're not asking for advice.
Jo: yeah
Mary : They just want someone to say, i see you.
Jo: yes
Mary : i get it.
Jo: absolutely
Mary : And so where I wouldn't call us, you know, like, There are plenty of groups for certain diets or low-carb diabetes or keto this or whatever.
Mary : My group is diabetes support, period. I don't care how you're eating.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : We're going to support you. you know it's It's not a your way is better than my way or my way is better than your way or you do it without meds and you take insulin. like We all need support. We all need to be lifted up because this shit is hard.
Jo: Yeah, and there's several things here. like One, if you've ever seen the cigarette packages in most countries, they they already have the warnings on them.
Jo: People still smoke. Imagine that. And food is like, it's either going to be addictive and sugar-wise or addiction to caffeine or emotionally eating.
Mary : Right.
Mary : her Right.
Jo: doesn't matter what warning labels you put on there. There's still a root cross cause that's having you drive to eat.
Mary : Exactly.
Jo: So all the warnings that can help.
Mary : Exactly.
Jo: Yeah, I agree. Now, I am, because I'm curious, how did you find supernatural fitness? Like, did you like, one of those random things got VR one day and.
Mary : so my daughter bought our headset, our first headset, our quest to, uh, with her bat mitzvah money when she was, i don't know. So like three years ago, two, oh, two years ago.
Mary : And, We were playing Beat Saber the first day, as everyone does, right?
Jo: Right. Yes, yes.
Mary : And I was like, so uncoordinated. I was like, I can't do this. And then the next day, we were in the living room. I put on the headset. And I think it was like in the menu, maybe.
Mary : Like in the headset box.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : like as an ad or I don't know.
Jo: the Little advert, yeah.
Mary : was like, what's this? And I did the little trial thing and i was like, this is fun. And I think I signed up that day. And for about the last year and a half, I was the, I've been the only one using the headset. I actually upgraded.
Mary : My daughter does use it now. She is as also doing Supernatural.
Jo: like my headset cool
Mary : So that's fun. And she's competitive with her mom. So
Jo: oh great two people in your family can beat my pants at supernatural now awesome
Mary : Yeah. Yeah.
Jo: But then that's exactly it. Now, do you bring that in? I know you're heavy on the supernatural groups and it's a great source of motivation because I'm like, man, I'm a slacker today.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: in a good Because I'm competitive in a good way, right? Do you bring that into Sugar Mama Strong and kind of merge them or it's just always separate?
Mary : So because I talk about it so much, there's about nine of us now in Sugar Mama Strong in the wellness group that have Supernatural. And so we have like a separate little chat where we'll talk about workouts or we'll schedule a meetup to get in the headset together.
Jo: Right.
Mary : And
Mary : yeah, so I don't as much integrate it as have it as like a separate little bonus.
Jo: Happy accidents.
Mary : Yeah, yeah.
Jo: Yeah. Very cool. Now, are you still training? I mean, are you still a trainer? I should say my wording.
Mary : Yes. Yeah.
Jo: What do you do if you're training now?
Mary : So I used to, like I mentioned, teach fitness classes at the gym.
Jo: Right.
Mary : Everything from senior aerobics to step to water aerobics, Zumba, you know, all the kind of group exercise classes. And was also doing beach body coaching, right?
Jo: What was your favorite program? you remember?
Mary : size because it's dance.
Jo: yeah. Yeah. Right.
Mary : I love him. Anyway, so as when I was Beachbody coaching, Sugar Sugar Mama Strong, the support group was growing.
Jo: ah
Mary : And what I realized very quickly was that the Beachbody offerings did not really meet the needs of my growing community because the women in the support group, they're not doing, you know, P90X and T25 and all these crazy, like they're not doing that.
Jo: day, yeah. Yeah.
Mary : And so I decided, well, it it took about a good year of going back and forth in my brain. Are you going to do it? Are you not going to do it? going to it?
Jo: and
Mary : And I decided to take my diabetes education experience, my fitness certifications, my weight loss experience, take all of that.
Mary : And instead of putting it into the gym and Beachbody coaching, I launched Sugar Mama Strongness Sisterhood, which is my wellness program. We do nutrition support.
Mary : I do coaching calls every week on Zoom and I lead live workouts.
Jo: Wow. Nice. Nice.
Mary : So how are my workouts different than what you can get on Beachbody? Because I know you're going to ask. Mine include seated modifications for everything.
Jo: yeah
Jo: nice
Mary : So I always tell them, you might not be able to do everything, but everyone can do something. And so it's very disheartening, especially as a beginner when it comes to exercise, to look at the instructor at the gym or on your screen and be like, I can't do that.
Jo: ah ah Professional fitness models.
Mary : Like, well, that and they're doing movements.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : Like, I remember taking a group exercise combat class or something.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : And I was in the back of the room. It was the beginning of my... story. And they were doing like burpees. Like by the time they were done with five, I was like doing one, like I could barely get up off the floor.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : And so did I ever go back to that class? Absolutely not. Because no one said, Hey, you can't do a full burpee. Try it this way.
Jo: modify. That's amazing.
Mary : Nobody told me that.
Jo: yeah
Mary : And so that's one of my favorite things about what we've created in the sisterhood is that Everyone can do one of my workouts. One of my members years ago was a double amputee.
Mary : And she showed up every Saturday morning to work out with me. And she'd be like, I can do this.
Jo: but some days
Mary : And that's what it's about, feeling empowered and knowing that you can make a difference in your life.
Jo: And not only only ah you making sure they know they can make a difference in their lives, so but you're then passing on that positivity to them and they will pass it on to other people.
Mary : Yeah, for sure.
Jo: It's a great web effect. And I'm so glad you brought up with the modifications. A lot of the programs, especially the pre-can ones like Beachbody, like their modifiers, still a fitness model. Like, come on, man.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: Like, what are we doing here?
Mary : Well, or their modifier is still jumping or they're still on the floor.
Jo: Yeah. Yeah.
Mary : Like not everybody, especially as we're aging and with diabetes, neuropathy, balance issues, all of those things that the world at large doesn't really think about because they're not experiencing it.
Jo: Yeah. Yeah.
Mary : And so, you know, I just led two weeks ago, I led a lower body workout completely seated. And people will be like, well, how do you work your lower body if you're sitting on your butt?
Mary : Guess what? You can. and one of the comments after the workout was, this helps so much because my balance is terrible.
Jo: yeah
Mary : And you're sitting.
Jo: and And it's got to brilliant.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: i was thinking when you're saying like like, I want to do that because my back is shot right now. If I can still work my lower body and not have to like bulge my disc out, my God, I'm there.
Mary : Yeah.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: I'm absolutely there. it's it's That goes of your experience. You start off at one. And the trajectory is ah ah amazing because you took your risk on you. You bet on you when you're like, I can do Beachbody or I can do Sugar Mama Strong and start this as a real thing.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: You bet on you. And I love when people bet on themselves and it wins. it's It's a great journey.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: So what is your next step? What's next? Always write.
Mary : I always want to grow both groups, the, you know, the sisterhood and the support community, by the way, guys, if you're a man with diabetes and you're listening, my guys group is called dudes with diabetes because, you know, I like a good name.
Jo: I like it. Yeah.
Mary : It's funny, both groups, you know, the women's group has, I think, you know, 5,400. The men's group, maybe 100 and something. Nobody talks in the men's group.
Jo: like
Mary : The women's group is always going, always new posts. The men's group, nothing.
Jo: We're taught not to ever talk everything.
Mary : I yeah, I mean, once in a while, there'll be a good conversation, but much quieter. What's next? I have my podcast now that started in March. Sick of Pricks.
Mary : Find it on your favorite podcast platform.
Jo: There you go.
Mary : And that's really focused on life with type two. And, you know, there's a lot of doctors, insurance companies, dieticians that have podcasts out there, right?
Jo: Okay.
Mary : But not a whole lot about actually living with it.
Jo: yeah
Mary : And so that's kind of what I wanted to bring to the masses, so to speak. So it's been fun starting that and I'm in the middle of writing a book.
Jo: Okay. I love your title so far. I love the titles for your support groups.
Mary : Yes.
Jo: I love the title for, I love the secret pricks. Do you have a title for your book yet?
Mary : I do.
Jo: You want to share it You don't have to.
Mary : Sure.
Jo: yeah what what is Damn.
Mary : Sure. It's called This Wasn't in the Pamphlet.
Jo: See, I need that out of my stuff, I think.
Mary : Because that's what happens when you are diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.
Jo: That's good.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : They legit hand you a pamphlet.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : They're like, see you in three months. Here's your metformin prescription. And there's so much more. You walk out of there. I cried when I got my diagnosis. I was 21 years old, getting ready to get married.
Jo: Oh.
Mary : And I thought, oh my gosh, he's marrying a sick person for the rest. I mean, it wasn't for the rest of his life, but at the time it was for the rest of his life.
Jo: But, right. Absolutely. Always at the...
Mary : And i I felt so guilty and so like ashamed. And how did I let myself get this way? I'm so young. I'm supposed to be carefree.
Mary : And now I have a disease.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : Like it was, it's emotional.
Jo: I bet.
Mary : And nothing in the pamphlet tells you how to deal with that. And so that is what the book is about.
Jo: Yeah, no. You mean you didn't get to panel six, a small drawing about how to deal with your condition?
Mary : No.
Jo: Conditioning you, panelist.
Mary : No.
Jo: Yeah, that's amazing things. You're right. there' that it's It's not just the U.S. system, like the last system, like here's your pamphlet. And that's what it is.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: It's an honest to God pamphlet. It's like it could be on a flyer for your car. I'm like, oh, is this a new band coming out? Like, no, it's How to Live with Diabetes. Okay, cool.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: So your book is in the works. Your podcast is on all great podcasting platforms, right?
Mary : It is.
Mary : Yes.
Jo: Is there anything you want to try that you haven't started yet?
Mary : dream?
Jo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ah Yeah, yeah.
Mary : And i the only reason I haven't done anything is because I have no idea where to even start. So anyone listening, if you have a clue, just so you know let me know. You know how, do you know what the La Leche League is?
Mary : Okay.
Jo: Yes. No. Really?
Mary : So you know how they have like chapters in every hospital where they have like in-person support meetings and I would love, and it doesn't have to be called Sugar Mama Strong because obviously I would want to include everyone if it was in person, but I would love to have a presence in hospitals all over the country.
Jo: yeah
Jo: I think they'll be amazing honestly i think that level of support is sorely missing and I think it's a hell of lot better than pamphlet right
Mary : Yeah.
Mary : For sure.
Mary : Well, and I think like right now, even my endocrinologist office has like a monthly support group or something, but it's doctor led or nurse led or whatever.
Jo: and no
Jo: right
Mary : I want it to be peer led.
Jo: Yes. Yes.
Mary : Like people living it.
Jo: And that's that's the difference between like, oh, you have all the education, you can talk about this from a textbook point of view versus, yeah, that's not my day though.
Mary : Right.
Mary : Right.
Jo: This is my every day. What you're talking about is you never lived through. It's it's a disconnect. There's always going to be that disconnect. oh that That is quite inspiring. That's an amazing. And I hope someone gives you a great advice on this. I'm like, I got nothing in my brain right now.
Jo: But that is the end goal. Or just one more step towards it, really.
Mary : Yeah. Yeah. I don't really know.
Jo: There's always another continuation, right?
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: Now, I ask this of all my guests. What is your mother's maiden name and your show? No, no, no, sorry.
Jo: Everyone thinks it's a joke, but someone actually started, I had to cut that out once, because someone actually started to saying it.
Mary : I was like, okay.
Jo: I'm oh, no, no, no, really, no, stop. What advice would you give when I say younger? I mean, like teens, younger version of you. What advice would you give now?
Mary : The younger version of me, that's so hard. I would say
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : You cut out this dead space.
Jo: Oh, no, no, no, no. I want people to understand this is not, and it should not be an easy answer. Should not be an easy answer.
Jo: Think of all the things you went through. Would you even tell your younger version anything?
Mary : I'm going to share my stream of thoughts right now.
Jo: Sure.
Mary : I think you know I used to hate when people would say everything happens for a reason. Because when you're in it, you're like, screw that. This sucks.
Mary : Like what could possibly be the reason, you know, heartbreak or grief or loss, like, you know, what?
Jo: God hates you. That's the reason. Right.
Mary : Tell me the reason. I don't get it. But at the same time, I think that every event in your life leads you to exactly where you're supposed to be. And so would I change anything?
Jo: Right. Right.
Mary : No, but I would tell her to value herself more and not to settle for things that make her feel less than.
Jo: That's good.
Mary : Whether it it's coming from me, like whether it's coming from yourself, because we are meanest to ourselves, or whether it's coming from other people.
Jo: Right.
Jo: Yep.
Mary : But when you don't love yourself, you are willing to accept a whole lot more from other people. And so I think that's where I would...
Mary : That's what I would tell her. Save your tears because those people who try to shrink you or make you feel less than, it's really not their opinions that you need to value. it's It's you, right?
Jo: Absolutely.
Mary : It's what you think of yourself that ultimately determines if you're going to succeed or not. Because if I went into Sugar Mama Strong or the sisterhood thinking this is never going to work,
Mary : Guess what? It's not going to work.
Jo: No, absolutely.
Mary : You know, you have to be your biggest fan.
Jo: app You do. And this actually something that MVD star or shares of RBD is always the absolute belief that you're going to win.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: Because you have to. Everyone else says you're going to fail. You have to be the one says, no, we're doing this.
Mary : Yeah. And there's people who are waiting for you to fail.
Jo: apps And don't be one of them.
Mary : Yeah, exactly. Don't be one.
Jo: Don't be one of them.
Mary : Yeah. And I think it's really easy when you're on a weight loss journey or diabetes management or health, any kind of health.
Jo: Yeah.
Mary : Right.
Jo: Right. Right. Absolutely.
Mary : And you're changing your life and you're doing it in a really public way. People are going to have something to say. They're going have something to say when you do it.
Mary : They're going have something to say when you gain 20 pounds back. They're going to have something to say when you have to go on medicine or what medicine or whatever.
Jo: i
Mary : And ultimately, you have to put your blinders on and focus on what works for you because at the end of the day, you have to be able to sleep at night feeling peaceful about your decisions.
Jo: absolutely
Jo: Yeah. That's really it. the end of the it's just you.
Mary : Yeah.
Jo: And and that that's lovely. Now, Mary Van Dorn, we can find you at SugarmamaStrong.com and on Facebook with the Sugar Mama group and other groups.
Mary : Yes.
Mary : Yes.
Jo: and where And your podcast is going to be on podcast everywhere.
Mary : Yes.
Jo: Sick of Pricks and YouTube.
Mary : YouTube also. Yep.
Jo: What's your YouTube channel? Sick of Pricks? Or is it going to be...
Mary : Yep.
Jo: easy yeah
Mary : Yep.
Jo: There you go. and what's Any other socials you got? want to pump
Mary : SMS diabetes support on Instagram, Sugar Mama Strong on TikTok, Sick of Pricks podcast on TikTok. I'm everywhere.
Jo: Everywhere. And if you ever want to see me cry, look at the leaderboard for Supernatural. I'm like, how did he get in like 20,000 points? It's Monday morning.
Mary : Listen, I'm not even first on my leaderboard. I'm like 15th on my leaderboard. ah ah These people are crazy.
Jo: I've seen the screenshot and I'm pretty sure like oh that guy doesn't exist, does it? guys, AI, it's gotta be AI just doing it. Well, thank you so much for your time. It's been really fun chatting with you.
Jo: And for a few people who liked and subscribed already, good job. And you must go to sugar mama. yeah Sugar mama strong. Don't go to sugar mama.com.
Mary : Yeah, don't do that.
Jo: There's a website.
Mary : I've gotten messages. They're like, i did something wrong. like, yes, you did.
Jo: SugarMamaStrong.com and all the socials. By behalf of myself, Joe and Mary, we're saying goodbye. everyone.
