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Book Review: The Four Agreements
13 Plays6 years ago
On this week's episode I review the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
If you want to find out more information about the book here's the link: http://amzn.to/2G22zMx
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Recorded, Produced and Edited by: Éliane Anita
Track Produced by: Devo Beats
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction and Emotional Health
00:00:16
Speaker
Hi guys, welcome to the Alien Anita podcast. I'm your host, Alien, and I'm so excited to have you join me for this week's show. Last week I had an amazing guest by the name of Jared Lewis and he gave us so many great keys and tools and dropped so much wisdom and knowledge on how to become an emotionally healthy
Value of the Last Episode
00:00:40
Speaker
leader.
00:00:40
Speaker
And even though we talked about people in leadership and how it's important for them to be emotionally healthy, it's always good to incorporate emotional health in your everyday. So that podcast was, you know, it was titled for leaders, but I really believe that anybody that listened to it can benefit from it.
00:01:02
Speaker
If you haven't heard the podcast, please go back, check it out. I'm telling you, you're not going to regret listening to that podcast. And Jared is an amazing speaker and he's an amazing psychologist that you really want to tune into.
Book Review Segment Introduction
00:01:16
Speaker
So this week, I am going to be talking to you about a book that I read, one of the books that I read last month called The Four Agreements.
00:01:23
Speaker
Now I told you guys I would do a book review once a month on every book or one of the books that I've been reading in that month and so I couldn't get to talk about the book that I wanted to or talk about this book last month because February was a short month.
00:01:40
Speaker
And I had a crazy month that month, so I just couldn't get to record this podcast. But here I am today. I'm going to record it now. So I'm probably going to, I'm probably, I think I'm going to double up this month. One of these weeks I'm going to double up and do two podcasts, release two podcasts in one week because I owe you guys from the one week that I missed in February.
00:02:03
Speaker
I'm going to figure it out and see if I can work out a second podcast in or due to podcasts in one
Insights from The Four Agreements
00:02:10
Speaker
week. But without further ado, I want to talk about this book that I read and it's called The Four Agreements by Dom Miguel Ruiz. This book I had heard one of my favorite podcasters talk about, she ran and raved about how this book was such a good book and everybody needed to read it. And so I was very intrigued and very curious to see
00:02:32
Speaker
exactly what that this book have to offer. And I think somebody else recommended this book to me and was like, you need to read this book. This book is really good. So I am a devout Christian. I always tell anybody that listen that I am a Christian. And so in this book, he uses toe toe toe tech wisdom. And it's like an ancient Mexican religion. And they kind of use like
00:02:58
Speaker
He refers to God but he also talks about black magic and stuff like that so in this case for me what I did personally when I read the book I took this old saying where they say eat the meat and throw away the bones so that's what I did. I took away from this book what I needed to take away from it even though I don't agree with all of the views
The Power of Words
00:03:20
Speaker
But I took away what I needed to take away from the book and I'm going to share what I took away from the book and You can do the same if you want to you know if you enjoy You know that kind of wisdom or that kind of religion and go for it That's all for you, but I'm gonna just talk about these four agreements Which is important to I believe that these four agreements can really help you be successful in your life and in your endeavors so the first agreement is
00:03:49
Speaker
be impeccable with your word. Be impeccable with your word is so important because the word impeccable, I don't know, when I looked this word up, I was like very shocked to find the meaning, but the word impeccable actually means to be without sin. So when he discussed in the book about how you should be impeccable with your word because your words literally create your world.
00:04:13
Speaker
So, if you say, I'm ugly, I'm fat, you're going to treat yourself like you're ugly and you're fat. But if you speak words of positivity, you know, maybe I'm beautiful and I'm smart, or I'm healthy and I'm fit, you will start to frame your world with your words because you're starting to speak, even if you're not all of that, you'll start to speak yourself into that place and into that position.
00:04:38
Speaker
And so when he says you want to be impeccable with your word, that means that whatever you say, you want it to be law. What your words, what you say with your mouth should be your law. So you shouldn't be saying just nice words. You should be nice words. You should talk nice words.
00:04:58
Speaker
embody what nice words are. So don't just say, oh, I love all people, but on the inside, you really can't stand people. Be who you say you are through and through. He also mentioned in the book how words can destroy and build lives. So when you become impeccable with your word, or as you begin to frame worlds in your world with words, you have to be very specific about what you say.
00:05:25
Speaker
So you want to say what you mean and mean what you say, but you also want to be cautious with your words. So it's important to take time, especially when you like in a heated battle with somebody or maybe you're feeling away about something. It's important to take time away. Sit tight just for a second to give yourself a minute to breathe and kind of think through because you don't want
00:05:47
Speaker
to frame someone else's words world with negative words or you don't want to frame your own world with negative words and also you need to keep in mind that your thoughts count because what you think you become so even in your thought patterns that's why it's important to be an emotionally healthy person because you want to start to think and say things that embody who you are or who you're becoming
00:06:14
Speaker
So I encourage you to become impeccable with your words.
Personal Reactions and Insecurities
00:06:19
Speaker
The second agreement is don't take anything personal. Let's say somebody walks up to you and say you're ugly. Whether you believe that or not determines whether you are in agreement with what that person said or whether you are not in an agreement with that with what someone said.
00:06:38
Speaker
So if somebody comes and tell me I'm ugly, I'm going to say, God bless you and smile and keep walking. But if I begin to argue with that person and say, no, you're lying. I'm beautiful. You don't even see, you can't see. That means that somewhere along the lines, I'm in agreement with what that person said.
00:06:55
Speaker
And so when you become defensive about every little thing that somebody says or whatever somebody may do to you, that means that you somewhere along the lines agree with how that person is or what that person said. You know, you don't really know why people feel the way that they do or why they say the things that they say, but normally when people respond to you in a negative way, it's just them projecting on you what they really truly feel about themselves.
00:07:23
Speaker
I learned from this book that, or at least from this agreement, that sometimes people project their own fears off onto you. So let's say you have a parent that's not very supportive of you starting your own business. It's not that they don't love you and it's not that they don't think that you're an amazing person. They just simply are afraid that you may put all of your time and your energy into starting a company that may not work.
00:07:48
Speaker
And so they'll tell you, oh, just go to school and get a job or, you know, don't quit your job to do that. Just keep your job and make that a side hobby or whatever. And even though you may be very passionate about it, they may not encourage you to do it because they're just afraid. So you have to remember and throughout whether you're doing business or whether you're in personal relationships, not to take anything personally, because this person is making an assumption based off what they believe,
00:08:18
Speaker
They're only saying things or doing things based off their belief systems. And if you allow yourself to fall victim and pray to a belief system that you don't believe in, then you will always find yourself fighting and trying to defend what you're doing in your actions and never really doing what you need to do.
Avoiding Assumptions
00:08:37
Speaker
So it's important that you do not take things personal because when you do, it really reflects on, it really is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.
00:08:48
Speaker
The third agreement is do not make assumptions. I cannot tell you how you begin to torture yourself when you make assumptions, when you believe something that you haven't gotten clarity about, when you are defensive and you're holding yourself back from being who you truly are because you are under the assumption that this person feels this way about you or this person said this thing about you
00:09:17
Speaker
It is so vitally important if you ever want to be successful in life, if you ever want to have peace in your mind and peace in your heart, and if you ever want to build true authentic relationships, it is so vitally important not to make assumptions. When you make assumptions, you create unnecessary drama because in your mind you're thinking, oh, this person doesn't like me. Well, did you ask that person if they liked you?
00:09:43
Speaker
you know when you are not sure of a thing always ask questions. You know one thing that I learned when I was being trained to be a chemist was you need to ask as many questions as you can possibly think of because you need to be an investigator. And so I learned through my career
00:10:01
Speaker
that I don't ever need to make assumptions. I always need to get clarity. So it's best to ask questions. Ask as many questions. Ask the stupid questions that you think are stupid. Ask the questions that you think are important because you never want to believe something that is simply not true. And then we have this tendency of creating these things in our minds and we
00:10:24
Speaker
We stay up all night and rack our brains about something that's just simply not true. You begin to, like when you make assumptions, you, that's a form of self rejection. Like you begin to reject yourself because somewhere along the line, you start to believe that you're not good enough. You start to think that you're not pretty enough. You're not smart enough and who
00:10:44
Speaker
You may, you may not even, none of that stuff may not even matter to the person. Like they may feel like you're the best person in the world. Like you may go on a job interview and feel intimidated by the person that's interviewing you. But in the back of their minds, they could be thinking this person is amazing. Oh my gosh, I can't wait to hire them.
00:11:01
Speaker
So when you make assumptions, you make it difficult to succeed. Nobody knows what's going on on the inside of you. And when you start to make assumptions you begin to project what you think or what you feel on others. And so you expect for people to pay for your assumptions.
00:11:20
Speaker
So that's why it's best to never make assumptions. Always ask the necessary questions. Always get clarity on whatever you need.
Consistently Doing Your Best
00:11:29
Speaker
And the fourth and final agreement is to always do your best. This one is pretty self-explanatory. It's very easy. Always put your best foot forward. Always stay focused on the goal, but don't do your best just for a reward. Do your best because you are the best, because what you represent is the best.
00:11:50
Speaker
When you become impeccable to your word, you automatically agree to become your best and to do your best because everything that you say you're going to do and everything you do, you have somewhere along the line said it. So all in all, always agree to do your best.
00:12:07
Speaker
I hope that you enjoyed this book review on the four agreements.
Summary and Engagement
00:12:11
Speaker
Again, the four agreements are be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personal, don't make assumptions, and always do your best. If you're interested in reading this book, I will post the link to the book in the show descriptions. Again, the book is The Four Agreements written by Don Miguel Ruiz. I just kind of gave a really brief overview of the book
00:12:35
Speaker
but it's a really, really good book. And I would encourage you to take some time and check it out and read it. If you are interested in knowing more about the book, or if you have more questions, you can always email me at alienanitashow at gmail.com. You can follow me on all social media. I am alienanita everywhere. So just type that in, whether you're on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook, you should be able to find me there. Um, if you want to join the book club,
00:13:04
Speaker
You can go to goodreads.com and type in Eliana Nita's book club and you should be able to find me. You'll see what I'm currently reading and you can see all the books that I have read. Well, all of the books that I posted on Goodreads at this moment.
00:13:20
Speaker
Thank you so much guys for tuning in. If you enjoy this podcast, please make sure to share with your friends and followers. And if you have any questions, you know what to do, highlight me on Instagram or any of my social media feeds, or you can send me an email. But as always, stay blessed and be relevant.