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Connecting with People
153 Plays1 year ago
In Season 2, Episode 4 of "Let's Talk Diaspora," hosts Bud and Rebecca discuss the crucial topic of connecting with people within the diaspora. They emphasize that connecting is a vital phase in diaspora missions, aiming to build relationships, foster understanding, and create opportunities for spiritual conversations. The hosts share practical insights and personal stories on various ways to initiate connections.
They highlight the value of learning basic phrases in the language of the people you're trying to connect with and recount stories from their experiences, demonstrating the power of language in building rapport. They also underscore the importance of finding suitable points of engagement, such as ethnic markets, festivals, and places where diaspora individuals gather.
The hosts delve into connecting with refugees and international students, suggesting joining organizations or ministries that work with these groups. They share creative ideas like assisting with lawn care during Ramadan and participating in cultural food gatherings on college campuses. The hosts also touch on connecting with professionals in the diaspora, stressing the untapped potential of building relationships with businesspeople and affluent individuals.
Throughout the episode, Bud and Rebecca caution against enabling dependency and advocate for genuine relationships founded on respect and understanding. They emphasize that connecting takes time and effort, encouraging listeners to bridge cultural gaps, foster hospitality, and engage in intentional conversations. The hosts remind listeners that every connection matters in sharing the gospel and making a positive impact on the lives of those in the diaspora.
Resources:
Training Video on researching UPG Populations
International Student Resources:
Worldwide International Student Ministry Network
Get your Haredi Jewish Prayer Guide and access to many more resources at https://upgnorthamerica.com/resources/
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Transcript
Introduction and Theme: The Uncomfortable Middle
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to Let's Talk Diaspora. Again, we're on season two and we're talking about that uncomfortable middle. And today we want to really focus in on this episode four on how do we even begin these conversations of connecting with people and getting to know people.
00:00:22
Speaker
Yeah, thanks for kicking us off Rebecca.
Scriptural Foundations and Leadership Process
00:00:25
Speaker
So if you remember the outline for this season, we set it up like we were talking about this uncomfortable middle, this tension, but we kind of had a process that we say, here's kind of what we see from scripture of prayer, abiding in Christ, connecting with people, proclaiming the gospel or the kingdom, discipleship, church planting and leadership development. So we're
Practical Approaches to Diaspora Engagement
00:00:47
Speaker
at this entry,
00:00:48
Speaker
where we're assuming that you're abiding in Christ, you've been praying, and then now the question is how do I begin to get connected with this diaspora people? So that's where we're at. I just want to start us off with one story that's super practical.
00:01:06
Speaker
that just recently I did. So in the area that I live in, there are a lot of people from Latin America. And so with people from Latin America, sometimes looking at them, it's confusing to know, are they from Guatemala?
00:01:24
Speaker
Or Nepal, are they from Mexico or Pakistan? So one of the things I've been doing to help identify my focus people segment is whenever I'm going to a gas station, getting some food somewhere, any place that you could potentially meet someone,
00:01:45
Speaker
I'm using phrases from their language. So an example
Connecting Through Local Language and Everyday Interactions
00:01:51
Speaker
is I was at a convenience store that's like right around from my house. I don't go there super regularly, but there had been some Latinos working there. There's a taco shop attached.
00:02:02
Speaker
And I'm like, this girl could be from South Asia. So I pay her for my drink. And then she gives me my change. And I say, Danja Baden. And her expression lights up like crazy. And I'm like, OK, she's from South Asia. And she said, how did you know that? I said, oh, I was in South Asia earlier this year. Where are you from? She was from Nepal. And then we begin talking. OK, what part of Nepal?
00:02:27
Speaker
And she tells me, I don't know Nepali geography very well. So I was just like in agreement. Sure. Yeah, I think.
00:02:35
Speaker
And she says, it's east of Kathmandu. Okay, great. And I say, remind me, Nepal is, there's Hindus, Buddhists, and Christians, right? They have a diversity of religion. She said, yes. Did you know that Nepal was the birthplace of Buddhism? And I said, oh, that's interesting. Are you Buddhist? She said, no, I'm Hindu.
00:02:58
Speaker
Now I tell that story because it went from me buying a drink, connecting with a Nepali girl, then her identifying herself as Hindu. Now we have an open door to start a spiritual conversation. And so I find that just to be so practical for anyone to learn some phrases, some words that you can just like throw out like seed and see what responds because I've seen time and time again,
00:03:24
Speaker
using their language is an immediate open door because it's always like, how did you know that? Rebecca, do you have any stories that would help kick us off as well?
00:03:36
Speaker
Well, our family is moving to a new city, so I look forward to meeting new people at gas stations and the places around. And I was one thing that I've learned is being able to go into this new city being able to say I'm new. I've only been here for so long. I'm originally from.
00:03:58
Speaker
You know, I'm originally from Texas, so saying I've come from Texas, I've been living in Texas. And then asking them, you know, how long have you been here and where are you from? Where did you come from before being here has been a good opening topic and way to start to begin to know where people are from and begin to then ask questions about the places that they're from.
00:04:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's great. So I think with connecting with people, there is this level of you have to know where to look. So in the city that you're in, perhaps you're in a large city that has a large diaspora population or a smaller city with a smaller diaspora population, to connect with someone, you kind of have to know where are potential points of engagement.
00:04:54
Speaker
And so that means you have to do a little bit of research. You could be like me and just go to the gas station and in passing, oh, find this Nepali Hindu lady who's open to talking about Jesus. Or you could be more focused. And if
Finding Engagement Points in Community Spaces
00:05:09
Speaker
I was specifically looking for Nepali in my city, there's all of these markets and restaurants that I could go to, or even the Hindu temple in my city. I've been there. The priest there is from Nepal.
00:05:23
Speaker
Knowing where to engage with people is really, really helpful. There are some resources online to help you do that. I've created a training video of how to find points of engagement in that. We can put that in the show notes, but it's really just using Google and using Google Maps.
00:05:46
Speaker
And you may say, well, this sounds super simple. Let me just give you the tip. If you use Google Maps, you can search the review. So if you are looking for a specific language group,
00:05:56
Speaker
And you're like, I don't know if this Indian restaurant is owned by Telugu speakers, Gujaratis, Hindi speakers, like what part of India? Well, oftentimes if you go to the reviews, you can search the reviews and you will find, you know, someone from Hyderabad and say, oh, this is the best food I've had since I lived in Hyderabad. And you're like, okay.
00:06:17
Speaker
So that's more of the clientele. So some of you are going to be more focused in the people that you want to engage with. Some are going to be less focused. If you're just starting out, you probably just need to go to some ethnic restaurants and markets and begin to talk to people. But I think that's that's something that you have to consider is where do I do that? Rebecca, where have you found really good places to begin connecting with diaspora peoples?
00:06:44
Speaker
Well, I mean, as we've already mentioned, gas stations for sure. I've found numerous folks like that. But going into Acosco, sometimes, especially in your bigger cities, being able to go into Acosco, you'll see people that you can tell are not
00:07:03
Speaker
They're not like you. They're different from you and try to bring up a conversation. But I've also loved having my kids and being able to see different people at the schools and being able to start conversations and asking about them and their families and getting to know them has been another place. So it's not always just out in the marketplace, but even within those personal things you're doing,
00:07:31
Speaker
It may be even a sports event that you're doing with your kids. You're going to meet some different people that are you're going to be able to tell they're from different places and it just takes a step.
00:07:42
Speaker
to go up and start to get to know them and let them get to know you. And one of my big things is to invite them to your home because most cultures outside of the Western culture is so, so much more hospitable than our culture here in the States. And for them to hear those words coming from my white face that I'm going to invite them into my home is a big deal.
00:08:08
Speaker
And also, again, the language that Bud is all, you know, mentioned, you know, knowing a few words from different places is a great door as well.
Inviting into Homes: Cultural Hospitality as a Bridge
00:08:17
Speaker
Yeah, I think you mentioned sports. That's really a unique opportunity. If you think of soccer or how the rest of the world calls it football, most of the rest of the world is really, really passionate about soccer. If you're interested in connecting with South Asians, think cricket.
00:08:36
Speaker
Uh, so in my city, we are getting a major league cricket team. That's like three or four miles from my house. So guess where I'm going to go. I'm going to go learn about cricket and who am I going to meet at the cricket pitch? I would venture to say 80% of them are going to be South Asian. There might be some Brits who are there. And then there's going to be people like me who just want to meet South Asians.
00:09:01
Speaker
And so you just have to think about that. Festivals are a great way of connecting with people because you can go just be a participant observer. You just identify yourself, you know, Hey, I'm, I'm not one of you, but I want to learn what you're doing and they will be so honored by that. And then they're going to be doing things, especially if it's a religious festival, they're going to be doing things that gives you the opportunity to begin to ask questions that will lead to more spiritual conversations. But I think what Rebecca said was really important.
00:09:31
Speaker
inviting them not not just connecting at that point but the people that you connect with inviting for another point of interaction that's more more relational following up so exchanging phone numbers saying hey I learned so much but I want to learn more I would be so honored if you would come to my home I want to cook for you and continue to learn more about who you are in your culture
00:10:01
Speaker
I also made me think of a story. Parks are another great place to meet people from different cultures and backgrounds. They love to go out and hang out together as a family and be out in the parks together. But as I was thinking of a story like that, I went into one of our neighborhood parks.
00:10:21
Speaker
in Texas and as I was in that park, began to visit with some of the women, well none of them knew English. So the husband of course was very protective and came over and started talking to me and getting to know me and I actually exchanged numbers with him and then later on he connected me with his wife and things like that. So just know
00:10:47
Speaker
Sometimes that's going to happen, particularly in your Muslim countries, Muslim cultures, is the husband may be a little on the protective side, come over and get involved and it's okay, but it also will build bridges with that family as you build bridges with him and then continue to ask about his wife and his daughters and his family.
00:11:10
Speaker
Yeah, you kind of have breached maybe a shift in our conversation around language and people that we're engaging with maybe not being able to speak the language that we speak. And so I
Research and Understanding for Refugee Connection
00:11:24
Speaker
would say that there's two things with that. One is
00:11:28
Speaker
That that shows you the importance if you are going to have a focused ministry among a diaspora people Based off language that language learning is of great value The other is typically if they have not learned English there's typically one or two reasons why is Either they're a new arrival
00:11:48
Speaker
which opens us up to conversation around like refugee ministry, which we're going to talk in detail and kind of future podcast, but we'll touch on that in a second, what that looks like. Or it could be, like you said, a wife. So I knocked on a door of an Afghan guy several months ago.
00:12:08
Speaker
He spoke very good English. He had lived in the United States for 29 years. His wife could still not speak English. So in some of your very conservative Muslim cultures, even if they've been here for decades, they still may not have learned English. And then I would go a little bit further to say even if someone has learned English,
00:12:30
Speaker
spiritual conversations are best done in their heart language. It's not that the Lord can't use you in English or through a translator or through a translator app, but really a person's heart language is what they should be thinking about spiritual, eternal things in.
00:12:48
Speaker
So with kind of that in mind, maybe we pivot and start talking about other ways that you can connect with diaspora people. And that's through people who are new arrivals, people who are coming into your city as refugees or asylum seekers, or even, you know, if we're honest, there's an influx of people who are coming illegally, not to have a conversation about that. But the point is, is they're coming and they have needs.
00:13:16
Speaker
Rebecca, what are some ways that people connect in that context?
00:13:22
Speaker
Well, I mean, there's a lot of great resources in almost every place and everywhere now there's a lot of refugee kind of government associated refugee helps that you can get hooked up with. There are also churches that are providing ESL classes or you could start providing some ESL teaching English, helping provide for families as their furniture and things like that.
00:13:50
Speaker
We get more on that felt need side, but those are some ways. But also I think another thing is a number of these people are coming in with trauma. I think that trauma piece comes in more with the relationship that you build with them and get to know them and hear their stories that you can begin to know how to best help them work through their trauma. But that is another area that I think connecting with people and working with them through.
00:14:20
Speaker
Yeah, the idea of refugee resettlement. There are agencies. If you are in a metropolitan city whatsoever, almost irregardless of size, there is probably a refugee resettlement organization. Some of them are secular. Some of them are Christian, like Catholic Charities. Some of them are evangelical Christian, like World Relief.
00:14:45
Speaker
There's many more we could name, but I'm saying that so that as you begin to approach that organization to be maybe like a volunteer, you have to understand where they're coming from. Some are secular, some are more Catholic in their background, some are evangelical, but all of them
00:15:06
Speaker
typically put some sort of safeguards around their staff evangelizing because with refugee resettlement there is government funding that helps do that. So I just share that to say do a little homework before you connect with these organizations. I'm not saying any are good or any are bad but at least you know who you're connecting with and maybe how you can best communicate with that.
00:15:30
Speaker
Now, Rebecca, with the conversation of resettling refugees, what I've seen a lot of churches do is they mobilize a lot of people for an initial response. So last year with Afghans, and it's almost like a drive-by, right? So like, you know, drive-by shootings, like you just drive by, you drop off the stuff and you go on.
00:15:58
Speaker
I wouldn't say that is the best means of connecting with people because the point of connecting with people is to have a gospel centered relationship. And just giving people stuff doesn't typically facilitate that. Do you think that there's this tension? So we've talked about in this season, this uncomfortable middle.
00:16:23
Speaker
Do you think there is a sense of enabling that is possible with refugee ministry and maybe meeting needs in a way that's enabling?
00:16:37
Speaker
I don't know if I have the question. I saw that overseas for sure. I think going into an overseas country, I saw where my white face meant that there was a job, there was money, there was a lot of things that I was coming in to offer. And I think that can always create tension and issues. It can create a dependency.
00:17:03
Speaker
So there's good with a little bit of that. And, but there can be some harm with a lot of that. So I think we have to be very careful. So I definitely believe there's a tension there. I think we can also get caught up in wanting to fix everything and we never share the gospel. So we have to be very careful to be doing both, both of those. Again, finding that happy middle, that uncomfortable middle as we've been calling it.
00:17:33
Speaker
Yeah, and I've also seen people who are connecting with refugees do a really good job that they will they will deliver something that's not even a need, you know, like from our idea, like a tea set, or a rug. And it's like, well, that's not actually, you know, one of our, you know,
00:17:52
Speaker
greatest need, it's like, well, they need shelter, food, but it's like whenever they have those things, they'll deliver a rug. And if it's an Arab or an Afghan family who are just used to having a rug and sitting on the floor and they don't have one, that is such a blessing. And then what it does is it gives them something that they're feeling like, oh, I don't even have to have this. They were just kind, they understood me enough to give me this. Early on, whenever there were a lot of Afghans coming, Afghans are just so hospitable.
00:18:23
Speaker
Typically, they almost always would invite you in. And I had someone tell me, I don't even remember who it was. He says, if they don't invite you in, it's probably because they don't have the means to fix you tea. And so that gave us the idea of, okay, if they don't invite us in, we're going to come back with a tea set.
00:18:39
Speaker
And that was very, very frequently. The reason why they didn't invite you in is one of two reasons. One is because they just knew who you were, what you were doing. They've been visited by 14 other people that week and they were just tired. That was sometimes the case. Other times they just didn't have the means to host you. And typically hosting is like tea and some nuts or some sweets.
00:19:04
Speaker
And so we would also sometimes bring gifts with us every time that we came. They would never open the gifts while we're there. They were going to provide for us from their means while we were there, but we felt like when you visit someone, you bring a gift. So the next person who visited would maybe eat the sweets that we gave them.
00:19:21
Speaker
Well, and they love gifts for sure. And also, I want us to be careful as we talk about, you know, what not to do or what to do. I don't want to discourage anyone from doing something, from stepping forward. So please don't hear us say that.
00:19:39
Speaker
But I think as you've heard from many of our episodes as well as this episode, there is an importance of prayer as well as research in finding what are the appropriate things to do and not do. And as we talked about connecting, but are there some ways that maybe we should not start a conversation with someone or some topics that we might not should talk with others about?
00:20:03
Speaker
Yeah, that's a great question. I typically try not to start a conversation related around politics. Even though there are people from countries, Muslim countries, they love talking about politics.
00:20:24
Speaker
But the thing I've learned is in some instances, politics is more polarizing in their culture than anything else. And if someone's from Turkey and if you know a little bit of the politics situation in Turkey, there's, you know,
00:20:39
Speaker
the people who are in power and the people who's not in power. And if I identify in the opposite camp, I'm not actually connecting with someone. I'm getting kicked out of their situation. And so I've never found, in any context, leading with politics is
00:21:00
Speaker
to the best of my knowledge, never helpful. Now, once you get into a more deep relationship, you understand someone, I don't think it's off limits, but like initial conversations, I just don't think that is very helpful. I definitely agree. And I was even thinking of my earlier comment of asking someone where they're from. It might be better to ask someone where did they grow up and tell them where I grew up.
00:21:28
Speaker
instead of where are you from because sometimes that from question could be a difficult one for them to answer. Yeah and then two if your context has people that are they have been in the United States for a while so you think East Coast and West Coast is where we really probably have the most developed diaspora communities where it's second third generation.
How to Ask About Backgrounds
00:21:50
Speaker
I often ask where is your family?
00:21:54
Speaker
Originally from because you ask them where you're from. They're like I'm from San Diego. It's like yeah Yeah, but where like really what we want to know is what what is your your family lineage? Where are they from? So if you're in a context where the population is much They've been here for decades and you're talking to someone who's 20. They they were probably born here They didn't necessarily emigrate. They're still diaspora
00:22:20
Speaker
Their English may be really good. You may be a similar age to them, and it could be a great connection point, but that's kind of a stumble in a sense of asking, where are you from? I've done that many times and been corrected of, oh, I'm from the United States. I was born here. Well, and the family question is a great question because all, almost all other cultures are very family oriented. So even asking about their family.
00:22:46
Speaker
is a great connecting point, whether it be where their family is from or who their family is and what does their family do and asking about their children are always great questions as well. Yeah, we mentioned research a little bit with finding points of interest, but I think research also plays an important part in connecting with people because you can research what their interests are.
00:23:14
Speaker
what their thoughts are, like what do they believe? And so research plays an important part in connecting. It plays an important part in evangelism that we'll get to talk about in the future, but we can't overlook the need of being informed about the culture, beliefs, religion, interests of the people that we're engaging. Now you can do it without that knowledge, but I think it helps us connect better when we have a base understanding.
00:23:45
Speaker
For sure. And but we talked a little bit about refugees and asylum seekers. But what about what about your international students? What are some great ways to maybe connect with your international students or maybe even professionals that you're working with?
00:24:04
Speaker
Yeah, international students, we have to recognize that even though during COVID there was a decline, but there are tons of people who are coming as international students. They were influential in their home country. Most universities have some sort of collegiate ministry on campus. Not all of them are actually reaching out to internationals. But I would say one of the best ways to connect is if there is a ministry reaching out to internationals.
00:24:28
Speaker
come alongside them. They probably have training, they probably have resources, they probably give you connection points. What I've seen some universities do really well is they will have gatherings that are focused on their culture's food.
00:24:44
Speaker
So for example, there are a ton of South Asian students on most university campuses. And so they will have a Biryani night. They'll have vegetarian and halal. So that way you can have your Hindu students from India come and have vegetarian. You can have your Muslim students from India or Bangladesh or Pakistan come and have halal Biryani.
00:25:07
Speaker
And it's a connection point. There are some that share the gospel in that context. There are others that they just bring volunteers and they train the volunteers to have conversations and connect outside of that. But remember, if we're thinking about connecting, that is a creative way to connect.
00:25:24
Speaker
Another way that we've, in our city this past year, we connected with people and we learned this from someone else. It's not original to us, but during Ramadan, we connected with homeowners that were Muslim.
00:25:38
Speaker
And we offered to mow their lawn during Ramadan. So if you understand Ramadan, they're fasting from food and drink all day. Ramadan was during the time that grass was starting to grow. And so we just approached them and said, hey, we know that you're going to be fasting and you probably don't want to mow your lawn. If you don't have a lawn service, we have some people that would love to volunteer and serve you and bless you by mowing your lawn. So that was a creative way to connect.
00:26:06
Speaker
The beautiful thing about connecting is you can be extremely creative and your creativity gets better as you learn more about the people you're trying to connect with. Yeah, as you mentioned, the connecting with the universities and groups that are connecting with university students, international students, and maybe think there's also being I lived in near San Antonio and there was a military group that wanted families to come in and
00:26:35
Speaker
you know, get to know the other families from other countries that are serving among our military. And what a great way to connect, have a meal with them. And then I've been a part of international student ministries where they're wanting families to adopt students to have in their home for, you know, a holiday or for a special occasion or maybe for a football game, you know, whatever that may be. But that's another great way to connect with those students
00:27:04
Speaker
and also maybe the military that are from other places. Yeah, in the show notes, there are a ton of resources that we can share for international students, organizations that are engaging, resources. We would take too much time listing all of those things. But if you are near a university campus, and maybe you don't have a large diaspora population outside of that, there are probably hundreds of people from other countries who are here studying. And if they're here studying, they have
00:27:32
Speaker
to have a certain level of English proficiency. And so you can sit down with them. You can talk to them. You can invite them to your home for a meal. I don't remember what the research says, but there was some number, we'll put this in the show notes, of the percentage of international students who are never invited inside an American home.
00:27:50
Speaker
is astoundingly high. I don't know what it was. So I'm not even going to say a number, but it's it's high, disturbingly high. So if that's all you do to connect with people, that is that is a really great thing. Lastly, I just want to mention the professional. So some of the people we were mowing lawns for were professionals. But I believe the biggest untapped resource and the biggest mission field opportunity is with people who are unreached people groups in the diaspora that are business professionals.
00:28:20
Speaker
I don't know what the answer is, but I believe the key to making that is helping mobilize the people in our churches to connect with the internationals they work with. So if you think of the major groups
00:28:36
Speaker
that are more affluent. So like Punjabi Sikhs are more affluent. They're owning businesses. They're truck drivers. They're business people. Gujaratis
Engage with Diaspora Professionals Through Hospitality
00:28:45
Speaker
own hotels and businesses. Pakistanis are lawyers, doctors, engineers, Indians working in computer science. All of those places are the same places that we have church members who are also working and helping them see the strategic nature and the simpleness of saying,
00:29:03
Speaker
would you come to my house for a meal? Because typically the pushback is, I can't share my faith at work. They can, but I'm not going to press that because it may not be the best choice. But I think what is a good choice is saying, would you come to my house and meet my family or get our families together and we can have a meal and you connect that way. And then you begin to introduce spiritual topics and conversations.
00:29:27
Speaker
And then what that does is gives you the opportunity to then begin to bridge to that next phase that we're going to be talking about in future episodes is evangelism, proclaiming the kingdom. But you can't really do that if you don't connect with the people.
00:29:41
Speaker
It's so important to connect and build those relationships. And it does take a lot of time. I want to encourage each of us not just to throw on a Band-Aid, but really to take on that time of developing relationships and getting to know the people that are around us, particularly from those places that have not had a chance to hear about Christ.
Conclusion and Resources for Connection
00:30:04
Speaker
So Rebecca, I think we're at a good stopping point. Thank you for listening to the Let's Talk Diaspora. This episode we were talking about connecting with people. Check out the show notes for more resources of how you can connect with the diaspora in your city or near you.
00:30:21
Speaker
Haradi Jews are some of the most unreached people in the world. But God is moving in this community and we sense that the time is ripe to increase our efforts to reach them with the good news. The key to this outreach is prayer. We invite you to journey with us into the world of the Haradium.
00:30:37
Speaker
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