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Sofa Series | The Voice as a Path to Presence, a conversation with Ryan O'Shea
41 Plays15 days ago
In this Sofa Series episode of The Ripple Affect Podcast, your co-host Chiara, Cheech, sits down with voice and presence coach Ryan O’Shea for a conversation that moves far beyond vocal technique. What begins as a discussion about voice work unfolds into an exploration of embodiment, nervous system regulation, and the science of human connection.
Ryan shares how his training in Fitzmaurice Voicework and Organic Intelligence reframed communication as a holistic, self-organizing system—one rooted in complexity science, mindfulness, and pleasure. Together, they unpack the I-SOMA framework, the power of “orientation” as a grounding practice, and why focusing on what feels good isn’t indulgent—it’s strategic. They explore hustle culture, burnout, fight-flight-freeze responses, and the importance of making micro-changes that honor your thresholds instead of overriding them.
If you’ve ever struggled with self-criticism, over-efforting, or feeling disconnected from your own voice—this episode offers both philosophical depth and practical tools. You’ll walk away with a new understanding of presence, a gentler approach to change, and a clearer sense of what it means to ask: What actually matters to me?
Connect and coach with Ryan O'Shea | IG @voiceandspeechwithryan | https://www.voiceandspeechwithryan.com/
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Transcript
Introduction to The Ripple Affect
00:00:04
Speaker
You're listening to The Ripple Affect with your hosts, Cheech and Nippy, a podcast that explores how individual change has the capacity to affect
Exploring Ancient Wisdom and Modern Knowledge
00:00:12
Speaker
the whole. From neuroscience to donuts, we're two sisters with a deep curiosity for ancient wisdom and modern knowledge, and we're obsessed with learning alongside you because we don't know.
00:00:24
Speaker
Let's dive in.
Funding and Support: Self-Sufficiency
00:00:28
Speaker
This podcast is brought to you by the United States government. In God we- Cheech. No. What? We, the people, as in you and I, lovingly bring you this podcast every month. Oh yes, that's right.
Patreon Launch Announcement
00:00:44
Speaker
In case you didn't know, your favorite co-host sisters, Cheech and Nibby, pay for everything. Equipment costs. Us. Zencastr recording software. Us. Treats for Moosh. Us. Wait, have you been writing that off as a business expense? You get the point.
00:00:57
Speaker
We've come this far being self-supporting, but for sustainability and longevity, we know interdependence is key. Yes. So, leaning on our community, we've decided the best course of action is for Issa to start selling feet pics.
00:01:12
Speaker
Wait, what? Just kidding. We launched a Patreon. If you love this podcast and want to keep it on the waves, consider going over to patreon.com slash ripple effect pod. As always, that's affect with an A. Yes. Become a member and receive your insider goodies, not feet pics, show notes and community support every single month. And even if you don't become a member, head over there anyways, because there's a free membership that allows you access to a very important, highly academic, vital survey titled, What's Your Favorite Donut?
00:01:46
Speaker
Right. Please join us over there and become a member of our Patreon community. Thank you for your ongoing support. And survey participation.
Guest Introduction: Ryan O'Shea
00:01:56
Speaker
Welcome back to the Ripple Effect podcast. This is Kiata, aka Cheech, your faithful co-host, and today's episode is a part of our Sofa series. If you've never been with us before, or if you need a refresher, these episodes are where my sister and I, Issa and i sit down with great minds who have deeply impacted us or who we want to learn from. We believe they can be a resource for change for you and honestly for us too.
00:02:23
Speaker
This conversation is a special one for me. Today, our guest is another favorite teacher of mine, the premier Los Angeles voice, accent, and communication coach, Ryan O'Shea.
Voice, Nervous System, and Authenticity
00:02:34
Speaker
Ryan is certified in Fitzmaurice voice work, Knight Thompson speech work, and organic intelligence. She combines her experience as an actor and coach to develop a holistic approach to voice and communication.
00:02:47
Speaker
She does this quite flawlessly, I might add. And Ryan also wants her clients to feel that learning voice and communication skills can help them feel more like themselves. So she prioritizes authenticity and ease in communication by merging voice and delivery skills with tools of nervous system regulation and presence.
00:03:05
Speaker
Ryan works with actors who you've seen and heard on HBO, Showtime, Netflix, Apple TV, Fox, ABC, as well as in audiobooks, commercials, and theaters across the world.
00:03:17
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And she's worked with countless entrepreneurs and corporate communication clients from Adidas, Tinder, Alpine Stars, and
Tools for Communication and Personal Growth
00:03:24
Speaker
more. What I personally received from Ryan goes far beyond technique. And what you're about to hear is a conversation that starts off about voice work, but turns into something much deeper.
00:03:33
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We get into presence, nervous system regulation, burnout, hustle culture, and what it actually means to speak and live from a place that feels real, not forced. We explore why small aligned shifts instead of big dramatic overhauls might be the most powerful way to create lasting change.
00:03:50
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If you've ever felt like you're pushing too hard, stuck in self-criticism, or disconnected from your own voice, this conversation will meet you there. By the end of this episode, you'll gain practical tools to regulate your nervous system and communicate with more ease, along with a clear and more compassionate framework for growth that helps you reconnect to what truly matters to you.
00:04:11
Speaker
oh It's a good one. Okay, get your warm bevy or grab your steering wheel and let's go for this ride together.
00:04:22
Speaker
hey Hi, friend. am so excited to have you here. ah Welcome to the Ripple Effect pod. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you. To all the listeners, this is Ryan O'Shea. You were one of my favorite teachers. I came into your work as an actor wanting to have vocal coaching, voice understanding.
00:04:42
Speaker
And what I got from you was so, so much more. i mean, just your ability to coach people inside of that framework of acting and voice and performance and then bring in what I honestly felt was like a spiritual and presence coaching was invaluable. So I'm really excited to share you to my community as a resource and just to get to talk to you today is just such a privilege and I'm really, really stoked.
00:05:13
Speaker
Thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure to be here.
Impact of Voice and Movement Classes
00:05:18
Speaker
i always loved your presence word choice intended ah in class. So it's it's great to get to chat to you in this way. so to to lead us in, i would personally like to know, you know, how how did you get into voice and and presence work? um When I was getting my MFA in acting, the classes that were the most impactful to me as a performer were my voice and my movement classes. That really began this awareness of voice work isn't just about how you sound or sounding pretty, but that actually voice work can be a way of really connecting much more deeply to character and finding ease in performance. Like all of the things that I knew I could do in my acting classes on stage, I was actually able to do in my voice classes and in my movement classes that were more physically oriented. That makes sense.
00:06:23
Speaker
Yeah, it totally makes sense, especially if you've had that experience, right, of of yeah doing voice work and having the experience of going, yes, I feel like a better actor afterwards. Well, and it applies to life too, right? We've all had those moments where we just so want to communicate and then our throat closes. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:45
Speaker
all these different things that just are in life. And so if if you think about being able to hone a part of you that understands that part of your body and also your essence, because voice is physical, but then it becomes this non-physical thing. like Yeah. It's also your identity. and yeah.
00:07:03
Speaker
Right. And how we're seen and heard in the world. So I think that that that's just a really great entry point. Yeah. And when I finished my grad program, you know, I i thought i would probably go out and pursue acting. But I also learned in that time I was doing teaching as a a graduate student assistant and really learned then like i I really enjoy teaching and I like I think I'm pretty good at it. And so Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. So I want to make sure to preface that, Ryan, you work with plenty of people who are not performers. Oh, correct. Yes. My beginnings are rooted in performance, but my my clientele now um are are probably about 60% actors. And I work with lots of, i work with executives. I work with people in lots of different professional settings that are non-performers. Yeah. Because this work applies, I wanted to make sure it's clear as it's not a performance thing. and And I think as you start to share the pillars, it'll become more clear, but I just wanted to make sure to insert.
Understanding Organic Intelligence
00:08:10
Speaker
Right. Well, so the the four pillars, the four areas of Fitzmaurice voice work are destructuring, which you might think of as like the warmup for your body, your voice. Structuring, which is where like your vocal support and your volume calibration comes in.
00:08:26
Speaker
presence, having a fluidity of attention so that I'm not just focusing on my voice or I'm not just thinking about my objective or I'm not just thinking about ah where the camera is. the The final pillar is play, which is like, let's put it all together and have fun. But that that presence part of things, that really does feel like when I look back at my career trajectory, that really led me to where I am today because it also took me down the path of training in organic intelligence, which is the human enjoyment part of things. And the roots of organic intelligence for me of when I first started learning about that work were in my Fitzmaurice voice work training.
00:09:17
Speaker
When you said the words organic intelligence, I like perked up and faked clapped my hands together like a little kid because I got so excited. Remembering the impact of learning from you, organic intelligence, and like what you said of it being human enjoyment. Yep. And do less than you're capable of. Yep. Yep.
00:09:38
Speaker
ah hu Those two things really did blow ah like blow apart in a good way. these These structures within me that were taught to work hard, being goofy, being playful, wasn't really going to get you anywhere. and And the focus on enjoyment not really being something that I could trust would lead me to a safe place. So these are certifications you took to become a teacher for this different work.
00:10:08
Speaker
What would you say you found out about yourself? Yeah, i I think that it's often what I'm finding to be really supportive and really useful to me that I'm then going, ooh, yeah, I want to share this with my people, right? You know, I grew up as a singer. i grew up as an actor. So voice work always felt like, a yeah, that's that's a good thing to do. Like, I want to be able to sound good as a singer.
00:10:36
Speaker
And what I found with both through Fitzmaurice voice work and also with organic intelligence, it took it from this kind of mechanical surface level place to this understanding that if I want my voice work to really integrate into my acting, if I want to be the best actor that I can be, if I want to be um the best communicator that I can be,
00:11:03
Speaker
then actually what matters most is why am I speaking? What is meaningful about what I have to say? What is what feels good about sharing this information?
00:11:18
Speaker
And once you connect to that why, why is it that I want to be heard, in other words, then you start to realize that the technique becomes so much more important and it becomes this tool that you want to integrate because it's serving this greater function of wanting to connect, right? And gosh, what's more human than Yeah.
00:11:43
Speaker
Nothing. Nothing. Belonging and connection. Nothing. yeah And that's such an intrinsic motivator is what I hear you saying. Absolutely. Like being able to take something that's results-based outside of you, do this so that you sound good, so you book jobs, or do this so that someone like thinks you're a professional when you do a speaking gig to, I i i want to feel more connected in my own body. Yes. Yes. Yeah, and so it is ah both a framework and a therapeutic practice.
00:12:19
Speaker
It is based in in part in complexity science. so What is that? Yeah. I start by saying that because ah it is
Complexity Science in Communication
00:12:30
Speaker
complex. um Humans are a complex system. And so complexity science studies complex systems. The most famous quote about complex systems is from Aristotle, who said, the whole is more important than the sum of its parts.
00:12:49
Speaker
Whoa. It's this recognition that i can't just focus on the voice, this one part of the human in front of me. I have to also consider the body of the person inhabiting the voice and the the psyche and the environment that they're in and how their voice changes depending upon the environment and how their voice changes depending on their neurophysiology of that moment. Every time they have a presentation or every time they audition, that affects their voice. That affects their ability to breathe. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. That voice work is just one part of
00:13:34
Speaker
the human communication, right? If I understand that, then I'm able to work in a much more holistic way.
00:13:45
Speaker
It's based in complexity science, but I will also say, as you noted, like, um, Some of the frameworks are really complex. There's there's elements of psychology in there. There's neurophysiology and ah and mindfulness, right? It's definitely rooted in science, which i really enjoy. When you go to apply the work and when you work in the framework, it also just feels like the most human interactions. Like, as you said, some of the mantras of organic intelligence are the job is enjoyment. Easy does it.
00:14:26
Speaker
The plan is improvisation. That's another one. It's a framework. There are a lot of therapists who are also ah organic intelligence practitioners. So it has this very real scientifically based healing modality. And it's also like a framework for feeling better, feeling more connected, feeling more pleasure in your life.
00:14:52
Speaker
Oh, pleasure. Yes. Wow. Yeah. That orientation to pleasure is, i wanted to say the word profound, but that gets thrown around so and so it's almost like takes it away from it. But it was so integral to understanding myself. I do want to note that when I took your class, I really felt like so many things point to the direction of presentness, but literally the tools in your class allowed presentness to become like, oh, this is how you actually become present right through like in life. And that was revelation because I was like, oh, this isn't some far off spiritual thing that you kind of need to like work really hard at or be a monk somewhere. it was just so practical and accessible yeah that it really helped me.
00:15:47
Speaker
I'm with you. though The practicality and the accessibility for me was also what i hung on It's one thing to say, ah we we can help get you to a state of presence, but if I can't define that and I can't tell you what specifically you can do to facilitate that state of presence, then I don't know how helpful that is. Certainly, I'll find moments where it's happening really effortlessly and organically, and I can note that and I can celebrate that, and it'll probably be more likely to show up more frequently. But for most of us, you know if we we live in...
00:16:29
Speaker
really in a lot of intensity. If we live in cities, there's a lot of noise pollution and people and and all of these things that affect us. To be present, to find ease, maybe is is a ah ah better way of describing that. To feel authentic ease in my day,
00:16:54
Speaker
so that I can be present to what's actually supportive to me, so that I can be present to what actually feels good to me. There are specific actions that we can take that really cultivate that state. And that's what I found to be so profound about organic intelligence specifically is that there's really specific actions that you can take that lead you to self-organization. That's another facet of complex systems. Complex systems are self-organizing. And if we're creating the right initial conditions, then we can get that self-organization to be really efficient.
Cultural Pressure vs. Ease and Connection
00:17:40
Speaker
Organic intelligence is also helping humans to feel that self-organization can be
00:17:48
Speaker
pleasurable, enjoyable, more easy than we might think it is so that we feel that state of ease more often and with more ease. And, you know, again, i think it all comes back to like connection and getting to better connect to what matters.
00:18:06
Speaker
Oh God. If again, if people could see my face, I'm like a kid in a candy store right now. I, it's just, It turns me on. That's what it is. Nice. It turns me on because I've experienced it I know it's helpful.
00:18:19
Speaker
It brings me the same feeling I have when I am around person with a lot of spiritual wisdom, meaning like a lot of presence of their own, a lot of authenticity where they their system puts your system at ease. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're like, oh, I can just be myself. And I love that feeling. And that makes me feel that way. And I feel like a little kid. I get like so grateful and excited. And also in our culture, specifically, you and i are were in the United States. And
00:18:53
Speaker
there is a ah cultural barrier to ease. Like work hard, yep you know grind it out, energetically masculine, dominant, patriarchal for sure. and A, not looking at something like a living system, but also be just requiring a lot of efforting. And the teachings of Zen and ancient Hebrew, like come at it so differently. Yeah. emphasis on community over individualism, just these different things that do impact us because we're part of all these systems that do impact us.
00:19:31
Speaker
i think that this organic intelligence feels like a really awesome bridge for the Westerner to have something that they could hold on to. Yeah. yeah And I think, you know, what's coming to mind to me, we have this,
00:19:46
Speaker
conditioning, the hustle culture, pick yourselves up by the bootstraps. God, I hate that. ah Individualism, all of that stuff, right? And um and I'm with you that ah as...
00:20:01
Speaker
As I become more connected to what matters to me, right, I'm i'm probably more likely to to go oh actually, i'm I'm not going to work myself to a place of burnout.
00:20:14
Speaker
That it does start to point us to what I would say is more of the our human nature, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then I would say also that there are are like these really practical benefits that I think probably appeal to everybody creating a more bandwidth. it's It's helping us learn where where are the energy leaks that I have in my life. If I'm doom scrolling, that takes energy.
00:20:45
Speaker
I'm probably visualizing all sorts of of like the worst case scenarios. I feel the fear, the anxiety in my body. And so my body is processing this as if this is a real threat when it's maybe more of an existential threat, right? Yes.
00:21:02
Speaker
That's an energy sucker. Yes. If you will, right? And if I have a lot of my my energy, my bandwidth being pulled into ah areas that maybe don't matter so much to me, then i don't have energy left over to build my business. I don't have time to do the work that matters to me.
00:21:25
Speaker
In other words, like I do think that work and our careers can be so fulfilling to us. it It's so important. And you're much more likely to be able to integrate skills that make you better at your job
Energy Management and Meaningful Activities
00:21:40
Speaker
if you're able to lessen the amount of energy that you're putting into things that aren't serving you.
00:21:49
Speaker
like moments in the past where it's like, I feel anxious, but I don't know why this existential something. Right. And then once I started to learn like, oh, this is my, my physiology responding to something that's, that's not actually there. i need to redirect my attention to um areas that feel supportive, that feel more nurturing and,
00:22:18
Speaker
Really, like the organic intelligence process in some ways to start is is just through a practice that we call orientation. it's It's a mindfulness practice, more or less, of becoming aware of our environment so that we're taking the attention off of the intensity of our thoughts and perhaps even our sensations.
00:22:39
Speaker
As we take our attention away from ourselves into the environment, we maybe start to feel like a little bit more grounded or a little bit more calm. Then I have more energy to like think more clearly. And then maybe I am better at doing my job. Then maybe I am better at giving that presentation, right?
00:22:59
Speaker
Just through that one little thing. Yes, I've experienced that. I love what you teach so much that I wish we would just start with an orientation process because it's always so helpful to like put me in that place. But i do it often now because that's one of the things you teach of how to do it simultaneously. Wow. while speaking, not something I have to do in preparatoriness, um maybe at first, but then like it can become fluid, like you said, a fluidity of attention. I can be orienting. um
00:23:30
Speaker
If you were willing to share just a demonstration of of orienting that could maybe even just put someone to their toe in, oh what is she what is she really talking about? Because I do think people understanding what that work is, is really valuable. Yeah. I'll share one of the frameworks within organic intelligence is the ISOMA framework, I-S-O-M-A. And it's an acronym for our five channels of awareness, image,
00:24:00
Speaker
which is what's showing up in my imagination, sensation, which is what's happening in my body as I'm gesticulating, the butterflies I feel in my stomach, the smile in my face, heat, right? That's all sensation.
00:24:16
Speaker
i would add the vibration of my voice, the movement of my breathing, that sensation, Yeah. Then there's orientation, which is my awareness of the environment through the senses.
00:24:29
Speaker
So it's what do I see? What do I hear? What what tactile sensations am I noticing? Meaning, M is meaning or what is what are my thoughts? What is meaningful? And then affect, what what emotions am I feeling? I find that this framework of isoma is more or less the the code to embodiment.
00:24:54
Speaker
Right? That when I'm speaking... Whatever it is that I'm saying, if I have that fluidity of presence, maybe even all of these channels of awareness online simultaneously, then you'll feel what I'm saying. You won't just hear it. Like the the classic example that i I will often give is around my dog who I'm obsessed with. I could just say some language, right? Like, oh, I have the best dog in the world. Yeah, she's really great.
00:25:27
Speaker
This is something that clients will come to me all of the time too, by the way. They'll go like, yeah, yeah, I'm really excited. I'm really excited. And they're saying the word, but there's not really the embodiment of that. Right? I just don't quite believe it yet.
00:25:41
Speaker
So if I go back to this thought of I have the greatest dog in the world, if I call up an image of my dog, Okay, it's it's a very specific recent image of her today. It's kind of chilly in our house today. And she was in our bed sleeping in a little ball. And I was like, oh, I bet she's cold. So I went and like covered her up in a blanket.
00:26:06
Speaker
So as I'm saying this, you can see, but I have a big smile on my face. I'm also kind of like moving my body with like how I was covering her up. I'm feeling just this, oh, I just took a big breath. I'm feeling this warmth across my chest, that sensation. I'm seeing you, right? Like I'm aware that I'm sharing this with you. That's orientation.
00:26:27
Speaker
Meaning is, again, those words that I said, but i'm I'm also really diving into what's more meaningful about that interaction and why I love my dog so much, this sweet little moment we had. And
Pleasure and Self-Organization
00:26:40
Speaker
then affect, I'm feeling like this, oh, this love, this just like, oh, she's the best, right?
00:26:46
Speaker
So that then if I say, my dog is the best dog in the world, it's You probably just feel those words a bit more, right? There's there's a greater connection to that.
00:27:01
Speaker
And in some ways, the work that I do as a coach is just helping people realize that they have their ability to direct their attention to these different channels.
00:27:11
Speaker
Really, my job as an organic intelligence coach is noticing when, as people are talking, one of those channels is lighting up. If you're talking about like, yeah, I'm really i'm really excited about something. um but yeah, but actually I am really excited about this. And your voice changes and then ah you light up a little bit. There's a little sparkle in your eye. To me, that's like, that's a threat. That's something that is worth following. We follow the threads of what feels good, what feels easy, what feels pleasurable. And that leads to...
00:27:48
Speaker
self-regulating, self-organizing thing. Why is it important to focus on pleasure? And we have that part of our brain that is developed to always be aware of the tiger in the bushes.
00:28:04
Speaker
It serves us to survive, to always believe there's something bad, something threatening. Sure. Available. Because if we didn't, if we said, no, there's no tiger in the bush and we weren't kind of always scanning and looking for it, that's the time we got eaten. Right. That cuts down on the time we could get away, protect ourselves, physically survive. But we still have that part of our brain.
00:28:30
Speaker
That part of our brain is very much online. And so we essentially, that is one of the reasons why, in my understanding of it, the negativity bias is there. your brain will orient almost by default in some ways to the threats and trying to find solutions for those so that we can survive better. And then if you put any kind of trauma or a complex trauma on top of that, it just gets even more heightened. And so as someone who has that experience to Not fight it but to complement it, to you know work with that knowledge and then counterbalance it. Take those moments of pleasure and make sure I'm logging them. I feel very safe right now. I feel very free. I feel very open. So that when you're in a moment of perceived threat that you can call upon those
00:29:19
Speaker
for yourself to reinforce, right? but but But carving out time to make that practice is what I learned from you. yeah Creating a familiarity with pleasure, right which really is this tool for us to calm our systems and survive better
Managing Stress for Better Well-being
00:29:40
Speaker
now that we're not actually being hunted all the time. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:44
Speaker
essentially, is there really a threat or isn't there? These physiological responses that we have, fight, flight, freeze, they are healthy responses that we want to be available. If there's a threat, I want my system to be able to respond accordingly to either prepare me to fight or prepare me to get out of there or You know, freezes, the intensity has bumped up so much so soon that I go into a little bit of ah a freezy state. So i'm I'm not feeling as much, essentially.
00:30:18
Speaker
Those are amazing functions to have when there's a real threat. The challenge becomes a lot of us are being stuck in that fight, flight, freeze state constantly, yeah consistently, so that that is ultimately suffering. yeah That's what anxiety is. That's what depression is. I'm i'm stuck in these situations. states of fight, flight, freeze. and But you know suffering is ah oftentimes like we're in that high intensity state where it feels like there is a very real threat, but I know intellectually that there's not. Mm-hmm.
00:31:03
Speaker
but Sometimes like it it might need to be like the really explicit feedback that of look where I am. I'm in my office and I'm looking out my window. so i'm seeing these like green leaves that are kind of blowing.
00:31:21
Speaker
The sky is really blue, really clear right now. And so actually I'm feeling like a really organic yawn happening, like totally like classic example of what, yeah.
00:31:35
Speaker
When I bring my attention outside of myself and especially if it's to some part of my environment that is neutral, then that has the effect of like really pretty explicitly telling my system, hey, you're okay. Yeah.
00:31:50
Speaker
You don't need to be in this high-intensity state ready to fight or flee because look where you are, right? now Going out in nature, an amazing way of orienting because we tend to just like be in awe of what's around us. We tend to just feel like a little bit more present, a little bit more at ease after Probably because it's we're orienting and that's like our most human nature. To get back to that question of like why we focus on pleasure, i think in some ways it's because like we ultimately, we have an energy budget, if you will, right? Like we only have so much energy available and we want our systems to be able to calibrate to the amount of energy that's actually needed. If there is a real threat, right?
00:32:42
Speaker
and they do exist in the world, I want my system to be able to ready me to run away or fight. If I'm at home though, and I'm stewing on something, and it feels like i'm I'm just not able to let something go. And again, that's the the suffering part of things. That's really not so conducive. I'm i'm burning my energy on something that actually isn't helpful. And so in the very beginning, as we're as you're just beginning your your practice with organic intelligence, the very first things we're doing are like very
Small Changes and Gentle Practices
00:33:20
Speaker
little at all, like almost to nothing.
00:33:24
Speaker
That's where the the job is enjoyment comes in. Easy does it. It's so simple, but it's to carve out time to proactively right set up some parameters of exploring enjoyment, uhu pleasure, presence.
00:33:47
Speaker
with these tools, the reason why I'm explicitly saying like, take your class because there's this simplicity. And I mean that in the most like high sophisticated way of like, Oh, you take that one class. And it's like, you really do have a lot that you can just like go and do like right away.
00:34:06
Speaker
I just wanted to say that like explicitly. Yeah. Yeah. And one of the things I think we've mentioned it before on this podcast, but it's worth repeating for my sister and i we saw when we initially started talking about change, you start with yourself. That was our philosophy for our own personal lives and the belief in meliorism when an individual's act can affect the whole and having that ripple out change does take action.
00:34:36
Speaker
It does, but it's a lot harder to do, like to be in action, when you really don't know how to be, to to have a beingness, to be with yourself and be with others and Be with the intense emotions or be with the change.
00:34:56
Speaker
A couple different times as you were describing different parts of organic intelligence, the idea of worth came up or just that you are worthy of yeah enjoyment, you know, and slowing down. Yeah.
00:35:09
Speaker
This matters. Yes, that it that it matters to me. Yes, exactly. Being able to discuss within yourself what matters to you does take a certain amount of self-esteem and worthiness to go like, and it matters to me. and And that means something because I matter and what matters to me matters. Yes. Yeah. I'm i'm with you that they ah the easy does it, the job is enjoyment things, right? I guess I'm thinking of... um As you said, yeah change does not happen um by osmosis. We have to take actions ah to to facilitate that change, right? If I want to cultivate skills, if I want to cultivate technique in my voice or in my communication, for example, there are things I need to do.
00:36:03
Speaker
But the thing about our systems is that they don't like change, actually. And so the more I'm doing, the more I'm efforting, the more my system is going to fight that.
00:36:18
Speaker
God, true. Yeah. If I'm working in a way in which I'm really following what feels good, I'm really honoring ah the rhythm that feels right to me so that I'm resting when I need to. and And when I've got surges of energy, I'm following
Embracing Change with Self-care
00:36:40
Speaker
that surge into something that feels really productive. By working and and training in a way that feels really easy,
00:36:50
Speaker
that is a way of like honoring my being. I'm not actively trying to change, but I'm going like, what what feels good about right now? I'm going to explore that. And then what else? And then what else? And then that's maybe where I start to feel the shifts happening, but it starts from a place of not understanding doing too much and positively reinforcing when things are working the way that we want them to.
00:37:21
Speaker
so Really, really, really significant to positively reinforce when something is working the way that I want it to, when it feels good Yes, yeah because there is this evidence-based research now that is proving the biggest inhibitor to change is being self-critical. And to encourage our own rhythms, like, well what is my own rhythm? Not my mom's, my dad's. How do I really feel about things?
00:37:55
Speaker
And um and there's so that's subtle work. But then the power of that is when you do go to do and be in action, you're actually creating a self-care mode.
00:38:08
Speaker
Where it's not what you do, it's how you do it and how you treat yourself inside of that. Because like you said, we our systems don't want to change. So we kind of trick it and be like, no, no, this is enjoyment. Right. But it's not a trick. It's like, no, i actually do feel right because I'm not pushing myself beyond my own thresholds and limits that I can do this.
00:38:31
Speaker
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. we We do need actions to change and we do actually need challenge to grow. Yes. It's not that we're pretending like that everything is great and I'll just take it easy and I'll nap more and then all of my dreams will come true. no No, there are actions that we can take to really facilitate those shifts in our life, right?
00:38:56
Speaker
But the shift is first recognizing, again, if I'm using a lot of my energy up so that I'm not getting the results that I want, it actually behooves me so much more to start with this foundation of doing very little to use like a really practical example again, from a um communication standpoint for some people,
00:39:23
Speaker
The very experience of being in front of other people, being seen by other people feels so intense, right? And and for good reason. Vulnerable.
00:39:35
Speaker
Yeah. I had the first day of my 10-week voice and presence class started this past week. Yeah. And um we started with a ah little bit of orientation and someone even said, my voice and my breathing feel really easy.
00:39:52
Speaker
but like, if I'm on set, there there's people all around. That's... that's not the same thing. Like, what do I do in that case? And I was like, I love this question. It's a matter of they're two different thresholds and you're not going to get to that high threshold experience of being able to feel ease and um flow on set if you're not starting with this foundation of ease and flow in this tiny little practice. And then from there, you add a little bit more intensity. Okay, I'm going to start to work on a monologue. So now i'm I'm including this other little bit of doing.
00:40:34
Speaker
But because I'm well-oriented and i'm the job is enjoyment, okay, it's feeling pretty good. And then I add, like what if I were to just imagine that I was speaking and sharing this monologue to another person? oh okay, that's bumped the intensity up a little bit more. It's a little challenging at first, but ooh, then I get it.
00:40:53
Speaker
And then when I actually do get on set, I'm so much more prepared for that because the foundation of stability has been well-established. You experience the discomfort at those small levels. You don't just disregard it you know, you're with it.
00:41:13
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Trying to understand your thresholds because I'm someone who used to blow through them. A lot of us do. Oh, I'm way at capacity. I am stressed to the max. Yeah. Did that accomplish things in my life?
00:41:28
Speaker
Sure. The best example is like, ditto did I graduate with two bachelor degrees? Yeah. But you know, it took me probably seven or eight years to recover from the burnout that I experienced.
00:41:41
Speaker
And that's time that I can't get back. Worthy time because I needed to recover myself. And maybe that's just a part of being in your twenties, right? You just like learn it, but but um But at the same time, it's like that's also a part of maturing and having more years added as you look and you go, okay, let's do that a different way. Let's try something else out. so Sure, right.
00:42:06
Speaker
i I am very curious in what your advice would be for someone for embracing change.
00:42:16
Speaker
Like what you know what do you think about that embracing of change Anytime somebody says they want to work with me, right they always come to me with goals or challenges. So in other words, here are the things that I would like to change about my voice or about my communication style. The work that I do is around helping people cultivate positive change around their voice, their speech, and their communication.
00:42:48
Speaker
the question that I'm always asking in some form or another is what matters to you about this? Anytime i'm I'm wanting to make a change, like i I genuinely am asking myself why. Because like I can tell myself like cultural stuff, right? like You should work out. Okay, but why?
00:43:09
Speaker
Because i do feel that on the days that I exercise, I have more energy and i feel really proud of myself and i start to notice that I'm i'm stronger. And then i think about how I want to be when I'm my parents' age and my grandparents' age. And so now actually working out isn't just this like thing that I should do. It's this thing that supports me in my goals and and these things that matter to me, which are being healthy and present well into my golden years. Now I want to make that change because it matters to me. That's so good. I just want to say that's so good because thank you even just the like, it matters to me and that's enough. Right.
00:43:57
Speaker
And I can feel in myself saying those words, even it like activates my heart, you know, like the sensation of like the importance of when something matters to me. Because I think a lot of times we do get dismissed, maybe not even on purpose, but like we do get to reparent ourselves and and kind of get in touch with some of these things that we feel or that we want, and then say that they're valid, that they matter, that they're okay.
00:44:24
Speaker
And I think that that could be very healing. And that in taking care of ourselves, you know, then that also does give us the capacity to be with others. Yeah.
00:44:35
Speaker
right as As RuPaul says, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else? Right? The reason why that quote from RuPaul really stands out to me as well is like it does teach you or allow you the expansive space to hold space for another.
00:44:52
Speaker
Right. Like to really be able to embrace that. That difference of someone else, for instance, because you're willing to embrace the incongruencies or the conflicting parts of yourself to hold the contradiction of your own self is to be able to then.
00:45:12
Speaker
at least have a chance or an opportunity to hold the contradiction for others. It's not your responsibility, but maybe to give yourself that. what What's something that you know or that you feel about change, um change in a human or change in general, that that you think other people could benefit from knowing?
00:45:35
Speaker
one One principle that feels really important is that um you actually don't want to try to do too much change too soon. ah like oftentimes what happens is that we get all of this energy and excitement about I'm going to make this change, right? It's like, I'm going to do all of these things. And we start out like doing all of them, right? And then we realize like, oh my gosh, it's actually, it's so much change that's taken up so much energy that then it starts to fail.
00:46:09
Speaker
If I instead start by doing little micro changes for my voice classes, for example, we're not starting out in the first week of here's your warmup, start doing this every day. We start out the the homework that I'm giving them is like, do this 10 minute mindfulness thing.
00:46:27
Speaker
Go for a walk. Do this one little exercise. So we're starting out with little bits. When we do little bits of change and then we know what feels good about it, again, that positive reinforcement, then our systems go, oh yeah, that did feel really good. And we keep going and it turns into a habit and then our capacity grows. So then we start to go, Yeah, actually, I think it would feel good to do a little bit longer. i want my 10 minute voice warm up. I want to do it for like 15. And then suddenly i just did 30 minutes and it was because that's what felt good.
00:47:07
Speaker
Doing less than you're capable of. Start out by doing little bits of change and then notice what feels good about it. The other thing that I would say is that we have to to implement the changes when we're feeling okay.
00:47:25
Speaker
If I'm having a bad day and I don't feel well, do whatever is going to help you feel better. But don't just meditate on the days where it feels bad. Really doing your practice on the days where, like in the moments where you're feeling pretty good. Like in other words, it's probably better to start your day with however you want this, with whatever you want this change to be, because it's priming you to have the goodness of that experience for the whole rest of your day. so
00:47:56
Speaker
Do a little bit, not too much. Easy does it. And do it when you're feeling pretty good. In your experience, if you feel comfortable sharing, when what do you say when helps you the most when you aren't feeling good?
00:48:15
Speaker
So the first thing that comes to mind is, can you go for a walk?
Expressing Emotions for Insight
00:48:20
Speaker
Can you notice what feels good about that? We know that mindfulness is good for us. can Can you, you know, what is it? Dharma Seed, I think is the the name of a website that's like millions of guided meditations. Do you start with that, right? Yeah.
00:48:39
Speaker
Maybe starting, and I mean this so genuinely, starting with what feels good might be too intense. Maybe it's what's okay. Right. What's okay about right now? I'm in my house and I kind of like my curtains. They're okay. Right? Like maybe it just starts with that. Right.
00:49:01
Speaker
And the last thought that I'll add, what's right about right now? Oh. and and And, there's often I think maybe this, like when when we're suffering, like I'll, I'll i'll give an example of of something that comes up for a lot of my clients, where they'll come in and they're like, I'm just been feeling.
00:49:23
Speaker
just been feeling really like mad lately, but I know it's it's it's not it's it's dumb. It's dumb. Like I need to let that go. And they're essentially like suppressing, right? what What is ah actually a healthy response? Their impulse to go, well I don't want to scream at every person I meet because that's not fair. That's right on. Right?
00:49:44
Speaker
But if we start to dig into like, well, why are you mad? Okay, well, that actually seems like a fair thing. what What feels good about getting to express that to me? What feels good about getting to feel angry and getting to express that out loud? Or sometimes folks will go, yeah, actually, that's really leading me to this awareness of a change that needs to happen. And so now I feel empowered to go have this tough conversation. And it's all coming from this impulse this person was having that felt really uncomfortable, that felt really unwelcome.
00:50:20
Speaker
But that actually was like their physiology going, hey, you've got some energy pointing you towards something that matters. Yes. What feels good starts to orient me toward, hey, it's all right that I'm feeling because like there's something in here that is okay and that allows the space to be with myself in whatever my experience is. And that that for me, my experience in feeling more of my feelings, I've experienced that bringing me to more of my truth.
00:50:56
Speaker
Oh, so good. oh good
00:51:01
Speaker
I'm imagining, I'm imagining if I were hearing myself talk about this, like for the first time a few years ago, that there would probably be some moments of like, okay, but where's the practicality? Okay, but what do i do with this information? Right. And as somebody who, who is often pretty rooted in logic, I really appreciate that. i i I think I gave a few practical examples throughout, but I'm also just imagining like if anyone is curious about if there's any sort of seed of this that the the mantras or or parts of this feels just kind of interesting, um
00:51:40
Speaker
there are guided exercises on organic intelligence. And they have a YouTube channel with some of the like some guided orientation practices that you can try out. They have ah a free mindfulness series that are um essentially like guided lectures around a bunch of different topics. so it's organic intelligence and mindfulness. There's Organic intelligence and a conversation with a midwife. There's organic intelligence and a child psychologist. There's so many ways in which this work informs so many different modalities. So you can check that out.
00:52:20
Speaker
I would also say that their kind of um main course that they call the end of trauma course, I highly, highly, highly recommend for
Resources and Learning Opportunities
00:52:30
Speaker
anyone that's that's even remotely interested. It's really powerful work ah and a course that you keep forever. I've done it, I think, like five times in the last five years. I just do it like once a year because it's just really nurturing and and new every time. Thank you so much for sharing yourself and that resource. So on this podcast, we encourage
00:52:56
Speaker
something that you mentioned at the top when talking about Fitzmore's voice work, I believe, where it was talking about play. And it's this range of exploring change within us from neuroscience to donuts. And so we have this reoccurring thing where we like to ask our great minds, you being one of them, what's your favorite donut?
00:53:23
Speaker
I love this question. And I have two answers. So one is if it's like the mom and pop donut shop that's like right around the corner, I just love like a classic glazed yeast donut. Like o simple, no sprinkles, no frills. I i also just love cronut.
00:53:46
Speaker
like ah a What's a cronut? It's a croissant. like donut that is then deep fried. So it's got like the flakiness and uh, the lamination of, um, it's a, it's a k croissant dough instead of like a kind of a basic yeast dough or cake dough. It's a croissant dough. So it's really flaky. ahhuh It's, it's delicious. I don't have them that often, but when I do, it's like, oh yes, this is. I have never had a cronut.
00:54:20
Speaker
like but i don't even it It had a big moment. there was There was a big moment in like the early aughts where like people in New York were like waiting outside this cronut shop somewhere. And so it's had its moment. I do remember that.
00:54:36
Speaker
um It's still in my heart. Oh, that's great. I love that. That is a new one I'm so glad you shared both of those. And I'm so glad that you shared... Your presence with me today and all of your your wisdom and your knowledge and your perspectives on just being a human.
00:54:56
Speaker
it's been im Thank you so much for doing this, Ryan. And you mentioned you had 10-week course. Do you want to give a plug for that course or any upcoming courses you might have?
00:55:07
Speaker
Yeah, sure. At the 10-week class, I call it intro to voice and presence. It's ah really a culmination of so much I've been speaking about in here, where we do a lot of really classic voice work, learning the mechanics of vocal support. And then the the presence part of it is And then how do i connect to what matters? How do I cultivate presence so that I can integrate these techniques into my work and into my communication? and it doesn't feel like this extra thing that I have to do that will make me sound good, but that makes me feel really strange. Instead, it's, ah, it's these techniques that I get to use that make me feel really good in my voice and communication.
00:55:54
Speaker
And you work with actors, too, because I know earlier i gave a plug of like, hey, this isn't just for actors, but specifically you do acting coaching, too, right? Yeah, I do voice coaching, dialect coaching for actors. And then I do, yeah, some some kind of straightforward and not straightforward acting coaching as well.
00:56:15
Speaker
Thank you again. And thank you for sharing everything with my community that you've already shared with me from taking your classes. I really appreciate it. Such a pleasure. yeah i just love Ryan and everything that she does. She brings such a valuable integration of so many things. I'm so glad you got to hear her speak on what she loves and what she does.
Conclusion and Connection with Ryan
00:56:40
Speaker
If you're wanting to connect with her, please see our show notes on Patreon or in the description of this episode. But I will say it here as well, that her website is voiceandspeechwithryan.com.
00:56:54
Speaker
She has an Instagram that you can find her at voiceandspeechwithryan. She also has a self-led voice course. It's a Foundations of Voice Work that if you go to her website, again, voiceandspeechwithryan.com slash foundationsofvoicework, you can see all the information there.
00:57:12
Speaker
I highly, highly recommend becoming a student of hers. She's taught me so much and I'm so grateful that I get to share her with all of you. Okay, you'll hear from me next time.
00:57:24
Speaker
Thanks for listening.
00:57:30
Speaker
Okay. i i think we did it. Listen, I don't know what we did, but we did it. Thanks for listening to another episode of The Ripple Affect. We're looking forward to exploring a different facet of change with you next time.
00:57:45
Speaker
If you found value in this episode, please take a second to leave us a review and share with a friend. Every little bit helps The Ripple go farther. Thanks for being a part of this experiment with us.
00:57:56
Speaker
And remember, We're way more connected and deserving than society's false sense of separation dictates us to be. You're not just one person. Your singular efforts do make the collective change possible.
00:58:07
Speaker
We're going to keep showing up and we'll never get to perfection. But if we allow the process to be the solution, we can trust that small ripples will make big waves. Changing yourself changes the ripple.
00:58:18
Speaker
And what if a collective almost is good enough? This episode was produced and brought to you by Michelle Asaro, Issa Griffin, and Kiana Maya.
00:58:30
Speaker
It was also edited by Jess Najunas.