Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 753 - I to X of Swords: Fleuret
0 Plays2 seconds ago
We're rating our first batch of swords for 2026 this episode, while also going back to one we tabled last year! And there's one submission we really have to work to decide if it's a sword or not.
We make our show on Zencastr, and you can too! Follow this link to sign up now!
Join the WRA Patreon to help us keep doing the show and get rewards!
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Podcasting with Zencastr
00:00:00
Speaker
This show is recorded using Zencaster. If you are a podcaster or you want to be a podcaster and you want to be able to record remotely, you can do so using Zencaster. They also have hosting options and you can let them know that we sent you. Follow the link in our show notes or in the episode description and sign up for an account on Zencaster now to start recording your own podcast.
00:00:28
Speaker
Right, I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today? He's
00:00:39
Speaker
got more rocket Ajax to bring back his body. Terminator X's go, go!
Meet the Hosts: Chris Sims and Matt Wilson
00:00:53
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to War Rocket Ajax. This is the internet's most explosive comic book and pop culture podcast and we are your hosts. My name is Chris Sims. With me as always is Matt Wilson. Matt, the floor is yours.
Recording Challenges and Uncertainty
00:01:06
Speaker
Yeah, Chris, I got a question for you. What the fuck? Yeah, man. I don't know. What the fuck? I texted AZ the other day and I was like, hey, here's how I'm feeling about everything.
00:01:20
Speaker
i don't know, man. That's exactly... Yeah, man. I don't know, man. Like, i I'm trying to... It's a wonder, folks, that this episode exists. ah Because we're recording this on Saturday, ah January 24th, 2026. You know what happened that day. We don't need to tell you. This isn't a news podcast. But it's been a fucked But we had to get it done today because I don't know if I'm going to have ah power tomorrow.
00:01:50
Speaker
Because they're calling for, like... many inches of ice on our power lines and stuff. and A lot of that going around. We ain't Minnesota. Yeah, a lot of ah lot of that going around. but like So I don't even know if this episode is going to go up at the right time because of weather-related stuff. Keep your fingers crossed. Well, hey, we'll find out.
00:02:10
Speaker
yeah so um Yeah, man. What the fuck? Jesus Christ. Let's um dive into less serious things to to take our minds off of it for a little while. How about that?
00:02:24
Speaker
And instead of all of that bad stuff, we rate some swords on this episode. Yes, we're back to one to ten of swords this week.
00:02:36
Speaker
So... For the next 90 minutes or so, we can we can all just have a nice time not thinking about all the shit.
00:02:53
Speaker
2026. Boy, oh boy. What a year so far. Well, we're going to be thinking about it for a little bit in a few minutes, Matt. But first, we have something else we need to do.
Patreon Support and Its Impact
00:03:03
Speaker
That's right. ah We are going to thank our supporters over on Patreon.
00:03:09
Speaker
That's right, Matt. These are the people who went down to patreon.com slash warrocketajax, and they kicked in as little as a dollar a month to help us keep doing the show every week, as we are cursed to do.
00:03:22
Speaker
That's right, yes. ah we have We have made this... ah Situation for ourselves. Yes. are They help us do this show. They help us do ah occasionally Movie Fighters. They help us do Comics Catch Up and and Every Story Ever. And ah they help us pay those gimmicks they keep sending in the mail called Bills, which is now more than ever very important.
00:03:43
Speaker
Yeah, we'll talk about that in a minute, too. Yep.
00:03:48
Speaker
It's a time, bud! It is a time. 2026 so far, it has been a time. And it has been a time since the first moments of 2026, which, i again, we'll talk about in minute. You ain't kidding. Here are our newest Patreon supporters. AR.
00:04:05
Speaker
Thank you, AR. Michael Gulliver. Thank you, Michael. Jean-Frederique Hoopsch. Thank you, Jean-Frederique. Dan Pinsk.
00:04:17
Speaker
Dan Pinsk, thank you. Juan. Thanks, Juan. And David Versace. Thank you, David Versace. Or it could be Versace. I don't know how David says his particular last name.
00:04:31
Speaker
I will always think about that bit from Aquatina Hunger Force, where ah master sake says master say Master Shake says he's got to eat his duck l'orange before it gets cold, because it's all the way from Alsace!
00:04:51
Speaker
I think I was also supposed to say something about 753 Gimmick Street in there, by the way. but it's it's ah We'll say, yes, 753 Gimmick Street ah is where these people went down to to throw in as little as a dollar a month for the show. I don't believe we currently have any submissions available.
00:05:13
Speaker
to name anything on Gimmick Street ah from the Gimmick Street Preservation Society. um So um I'm going to say yeah that at 753 Gimmick Street... It's the urgent care.
00:05:28
Speaker
is I think we already have one or two urgent cares on Gimmick Street, but we'll say this is another one. Yeah. ah But if you are in this gimmick straight prison Gimmick Street Preservation Society at the level of $15 a month or more,
00:05:49
Speaker
ah then ah then send one in. Send one in as soon as you can, because you'll be next, probably, if you send yours in soon. So ah just so you know, as a patron...
00:06:07
Speaker
Like those people whose names I just read out a minute ago, you get ad-free episodes of all the shows that we do. Chris mentioned most of them a moment ago.
00:06:18
Speaker
um You get your own special feed for War Rocket Ajax and the associated shows. And you get them all completely ad-free in your special Patreon feed.
00:06:31
Speaker
You can also get other rewards at the $5 level. You can be get some bonus content. I think sometime in the near future, we're going to do some bonus content about some Gordy categories that somehow we slipped by us during the Gordys last week.
00:06:50
Speaker
ah So we're going to make good on that and and do those go Gordy categories fairly soon. At the $10 level, You get line-stepping privileges for our segments, which currently include Every Story Ever and 1 to 10 of Swords, like on this week's show.
00:07:09
Speaker
At the $15 level, you join the Gimmick Street Preservation Society. You get to say what is at and address on Gimmick Street. A very special thing ah that only few people get to do. So if you are at that level, you should take advantage of that. And then at the $20 level, you can get a t-shirt. We will be closely considering what to make the 2026 t-shirt in the next little while.
00:07:39
Speaker
If you're unable to help us monetarily, which, look, we understand that that can be the situation. which we we We are all living in the same time.
00:07:50
Speaker
ah you can help us out in other ways. You can leave us a five-star review on the podcasting app that you use, whatever that is, or you can just spread the word about the show. Give us some good word of mouth. Tell your friends and family to listen to War Rocket Ajax, and then hopefully they will listen, and maybe they will have the opportunity and ability to contribute to our Patreon. That would be much appreciated.
00:08:14
Speaker
With that, Chris, it's time for our first Checks and Wrecks of 2026. What do you say? Let's do it.
00:08:24
Speaker
Chris, what do you have to check in with this week?
Personal Struggles and Community Issues
00:08:27
Speaker
Here here here are the the late days of January 2026. Matt, everybody listening to this show right now has a device in their pocket that can shoot a fire hose full of bad news into their eyes.
00:08:44
Speaker
True.
00:08:46
Speaker
So we try to keep it lighthearted on the show. We try to talk about books and TV shows and, and streaming entertainment programs that we enjoy.
00:09:01
Speaker
ah but this is also a show about us. This is a show about what's happening in our lives. It was a show about, uh, what, what was going on in our lives when hurricane Helene hit you.
00:09:12
Speaker
Yep. Uh, it's a, uh, it's, it's a show about us. So, I unfortunately got to be a bit of a downer for a minute.
00:09:24
Speaker
ah Apologies to everyone for that. But, I mean, shit, ain't my fault.
00:09:32
Speaker
ah But, you know, if if you're getting that fire hose in your face, I won't be mad if you skip ahead a little bit. Just so you know. So 2026 off to a bad start, dude.
00:09:45
Speaker
Bad start. ah For both of us. ah I got laid off last week from a job that I was reasonably certain I was going to have for another year and a half. ah right you he was working on i think I can divulge that you had just signed a contract.
00:10:03
Speaker
I had just signed a contract at least for the first quarter of this year while I was waiting for the full year's contract to come in. yeah ah It is now unclear whether my employer is even going to honor that contract at all.
00:10:18
Speaker
ah Maybe I'll get paid for the first quarter. Maybe I'll just get paid for January. Don't know when or if that will happen at all. On top of that, I got tear gassed yesterday.
00:10:34
Speaker
And you weren't even like in it. You were in your car, and it came in through your car vents. Yeah. um he So I've been surprised at the number of people who responded to me on Blue Sky being like, I didn't know you lived in Minneapolis.
00:10:49
Speaker
And yes, I live in Minneapolis. ah We moved up in 2021. ah I live in Minneapolis. Specifically, I live in South Minneapolis. Specifically, I live in a very diverse neighborhood.
00:11:03
Speaker
in South Minneapolis, which has been heavily targeted by ICE. oh And ah I was leaving my house to go pick up my dog from the vet yesterday when ah ICE agents, who had just crashed into a telephone pole two doors down from my house on my street, um got out and immediately just tear-gassed the crowd that had gathered.
00:11:32
Speaker
ah to observe them. A crowd that was was doing nothing other than whistling and maybe heckling ah the ICE agents. I was just coming out of my alley. I was ah letting people ah get past, pedestrians who were trying to go further away from that intersection.
00:11:54
Speaker
And ah they tear-gassed the observers, and I... literally minding my own business because I'm on my way to get my dog, also got it. ah Because they set off tear gas in residential neighborhood on the lawn of an apartment building where I know small children live.
00:12:10
Speaker
yeah i have I have one word to respond to both pieces of news in that. ah um Directed at everybody involved that's not you.
00:12:22
Speaker
and And not the not the the people blowing whistles and heckling. yeah the the The bad actors. Yeah. The ICE agents. and And the people who laid you off. Fuckers.
00:12:33
Speaker
Fuckers, yeah. um Now, here's what I'll say. i was not out observing. I was not out watching for the the feds this time. I have been, though. I've gone out a couple times, AC and I both, and I've gone out on my own, and and she's gone out on on her own as well.
00:12:50
Speaker
ah Because, again, our neighborhood is heavily targeted. I live kind of in the middle of where shit's happening. There's a helicopter hovering over my house right now that I can hear, and hopefully you can't.
00:13:04
Speaker
um I have fortunately not run into any ICE agents while I've been out on patrol, you know out observing.
00:13:15
Speaker
ah And here's what I've done. i helped out a neighbor who whose car was stuck on in the snow, like helped rock the car so it could get out, helped a postman. the only government employees I respect.
00:13:29
Speaker
ah And I ah stood guard while a family ah got into their ride so that they could ah finish their journey after a ah bus ride dropped them in South Minneapolis.
00:13:46
Speaker
ah I kept an eye out for anyone looking to kidnap them. oh So yeah that's what I've been doing. i And let me tell you, it's real weird to go outside and stand around watching for unmarked cars full of masked men with assault rifles who are trying to murder and kidnap your neighbors.
00:14:09
Speaker
But the alternative is not doing that. yeah so I'm out there when I can. ah and And I think it's it's very ironic that when I wasn't out there, that's when I got tear gassed.
00:14:24
Speaker
Yeah, man. it's ah But that is the Lord's work, and you're doing it. And and ah I want you to know how appreciated it is. Yeah. and And look, it is – AC said something that I think is very important, which is that you don't have to do anything big.
00:14:41
Speaker
And you don't have to do anything dangerous, but you've got to do something. Collective action. yeah yeah I have friends. A close friend of mine actually is one of the people running like a major like grocery distribution and ah community aid ah network. If you've seen the ah the video of the guy kicking the tear gas back towards ah the feds, ah that is the that's the corner where he works.
00:15:11
Speaker
ah So the business is there. oh Smitten Kitten, Rectangle, and TCL. like He's heavily involved in that. I'm just going out and and trying to keep an eye out.
00:15:25
Speaker
But, yeah, man, it's wild. Also, I don't have a job right now, which sucks.
00:15:32
Speaker
So, you know, um i am fine. I only got a little bit of the tear gas. And Biscuit was not in the car with me, which is good, because if they... I don't know what my reaction would be if someone tear-gassed my dog, but I don't think it would be rational.
00:15:50
Speaker
It would not be good. It would not be good, yeah. yeah oh But yeah, that's that's what I'm checking in with. um But hey, I'm still here, and ah as long as I'm here, I'll be here on the show doing...
00:16:08
Speaker
what I can. Thanks to everybody who checked in. I know that the the Discord, ah i got ah I got a message from Ben Rowe from the Discord, ah probably probably the Apocrypels Discord. Actually, no, I think of it. But but i think I think he's in both.
00:16:26
Speaker
That was like, hey, we just want you to know we're glad you're safe. and So, thank you. I thought it was very funny that the Discord elected a representative to speak to me directly, and that's how I want Yeah.
00:16:38
Speaker
ah But thank you to everyone who's checked in. Yeah, I live in South Minneapolis. It sucks ah right now. It's usually great, a beautiful city. No one here wants this to be happening, which is why you are seeing these massive protests.
00:16:52
Speaker
ah And I can tell you, they ain't paid agitators, because I'm hireable for that, and no one's come knocking.
00:17:04
Speaker
if If you do know something that Chris could be hired for, reach out. Yeah, do get in touch.
00:17:12
Speaker
ah In the meantime, this this this is my major source of income. So thank you to everyone who went patreon.com slash warrocketajax. Yeah. what a what ah What a couple weeks. Matt, what are you checking in with?
Marlene's Injury and Associated Challenges
00:17:30
Speaker
All right. The horrors persist. I also have this to check in with. Oh, um, so I, a lot of people listening to this probably know this at this point. Um, we have gotten, um, a good amount of support on this. Um, but, um, on new year's day at, in the early hours of the morning, um,
00:17:55
Speaker
Marlene and I were leaving a friend's house, a friend's home. And um this yard just happened to be on a steep incline. And Marlene was wearing heels.
00:18:07
Speaker
And there was like a little like step ladder thing to help you step down. But I think it, in this case, maybe did a little more harm than good. And ah so Marlene, I was like way ahead going to the car.
00:18:23
Speaker
like getting getting to the car ready to leave because I was very tired. And then behind me, I just hear Marlene going, ow, ow, ow, ow.
00:18:34
Speaker
And so I run back, I see what's up, and Marlene has fallen. And as it turns out, ah she has broken her ankle in three places.
00:18:46
Speaker
It is what is known as a trimalleolar fracture. Yikes. ah Yes, it's um two of the bones that like hold up the ankle joint, and then ah like the very bottom of – I don't know if that's the tibia or the fibula back there. I think it's the tibia.
00:19:06
Speaker
um But like at first, when we went to the emergency room and they did x-rays on her, they were like, it's broken in two places. And then we went to go see the orthopedist, and the orthopedist was like, no, no, no, it's three.
00:19:20
Speaker
ah And so ah we a friend of ours um gracefully started a GoFundMe that you can find if you – I'll put a link in the show notes to it. um But it's GoFundMe.com slash help Marlene recover and get back on her feet. I think if you – Go to GoFundMe and just search for Marlene. Get back on her feet. You'll find it.
00:19:51
Speaker
um But it has prevented Marlene from working. She can't teach right now. The the improv school where she teaches um is up a big flight of stairs. And there is no other way up to that ah that space.
00:20:06
Speaker
And so it is... um basically impossible for her to teach at least at the misfit improv space for now. Um, and you know, a lot of the performing and stuff that she normally does, she's unable to do. She did get successful surgery, uh, two weeks ago now.
00:20:28
Speaker
Um, and so, and it was, it was definitely a break that required surgery. Uh, so that was an entire day. um but it, it went well and and she's recovering now, but we are waiting for the hospital bills to come, uh, and, and gonna find out what that damage is exactly. But, um, if you didn't know about this and didn't know about the GoFundMe, uh, and would like to go there and contribute, a lot of that is going to go to either our medical bills or just to help Marlene during this period where she can't work.
00:21:03
Speaker
Um, then um then go check that out. That would be a huge, huge help for Marlene. So, um yeah, 2026, what a year so far. um
00:21:20
Speaker
Time for some recommendations. what do you have to recommend, Chris? Matt, let me ask you a question. And look, we're we're getting we're getting out of the the the downers. we're getting We're getting back to the fun stuff.
00:21:33
Speaker
I hope. I don't know what your recommendation is, other than collective action. Yeah, i mean, i that is the recommendation I've already made, yeah. Collective action and and ah intact bones.
00:21:45
Speaker
oh Matt, let me ask you a question. Alright. Do you like Streets of Rage? I do, I do. Do you like Golden Axe?
00:21:57
Speaker
You know what? i I played a lot of Golden Axe in the arcades in my younger you think Streets of Rage, Final Fight, Golden Axe, or Spider-Man and Venom, Maximum Carnage, would be better if they were Hades?
00:22:14
Speaker
Go on. ah There is a great new game ah that I really, really love out called Absalom. A-B-S-O-L-U-M. You may have heard of this from a couple of people. I found out about it from Jacob Geller, ah who had extremely nice things to say about it as one of his favorite games of last year. And it really lives up to the hype.
00:22:42
Speaker
ah It is a beat-em-up, like a side-scrolling beat-em-up. That part of it is excellent. It is an excellent beat-em-up, just in general. Great enemy variety, great ah characters, ah fun stuff, easy to to learn, ah easy you know easy to learn, kind of easy to master, i guess.
00:23:10
Speaker
But ah it is also a roguelike in that ah you... ah Take your character through ah a branching world where ah there are different ah areas, so it's not always the same screens, and you can take a different path, but you kind of go through the same sequence of bosses for the most part.
00:23:37
Speaker
ah like The two different paths in the first section will lead you ultimately to the one boss of that area. ah There are also like multiple mini-bosses that you can go through in ah in the meantime.
00:23:54
Speaker
For instance, ah you start out you can choose to go through ah a town or a forest. Or, there's a secret to find out later on, a mine.
00:24:05
Speaker
ah Each of those areas has its own mini-boss, or its own boss, really. ah But then you wind up in the ah the old dwarven mines, and you ah ultimately will fight the ah undead dwarf king, no matter which route you take through there.
00:24:26
Speaker
It's great. ah Really fun character stuff. Really fun bosses. Really fun enemies. Everything about it, super fun. ah Kind of the best of what Hades does with the roguelike genre ah and the best of the beat-em-ups.
00:24:48
Speaker
If you ah played Streets of Rage 4, a game that I have recommended before, or if you played... ah The ah Ninja Turtles Shredder's Revenge, which I know you and I played all the way through.
00:25:00
Speaker
yep. yep ah it is ah It is developed and published by the same ah people, who also did the new Marvel side-scrolling beat-em-up that we had requests about but has yet to be on on sale.
00:25:14
Speaker
Yes, I will play Cosmic Invasion the say the second it goes on sale. But it has not done that yet. when we go on our When we go on our boys trip this year, there'll be a lot of Cosmic Invasion on that.
00:25:24
Speaker
yes ah But yes, check out Absalom. It's a really, really great game that does really, really great stuff with a very familiar genre. Stuff like Final Fight ah and Maximum Carnage were my absolute jam.
00:25:39
Speaker
ah when I was a kid prior to prior to my discovery of the Metroidvania. i Because I guess it wasn't prior to Metroidvanias. It was pre-Symphony of the Night, but it wasn't pre-Super Metroid.
00:25:53
Speaker
ah Absalom, it's on Steam. I'm pretty sure it's on everything. ah the The base price of it is $25, and it's well worth that, and even more well worth getting on sale.
00:26:07
Speaker
ah Matt, what do you have to recommend?
Game Recommendations
00:26:10
Speaker
My recommendation is a game that a lot of people have talked about for quite some time, and and that I think won Game of the Year at the Game Awards, and on and on, and I was like, okay, fine I will finally play this over my Christmas break.
00:26:25
Speaker
And that game is Claire Obscure Expedition 33. I've heard good things. Okay. Here's the thing about it. It's a good thing we took a break.
00:26:38
Speaker
uhu Because if I had talked about this game the week I started playing it, my reaction would have been like, I don't know. Because the combat system in Clear Obscure has a really clear and somewhat difficult learning curve.
00:27:01
Speaker
It is turn-based RPG combat. But it requires you... It's like very advanced Super Mario RPG. You know how in Super Mario RPG where like if an enemy hits you, you hit if you hit but a button at just the right time, you can like block it or dodge it? Mm-hmm. I'm very familiar with Super Mario RPG, yes. Yeah.
00:27:30
Speaker
Claire Obscure does that same thing where like
00:27:35
Speaker
a lot of the game, the combat of the game is about well-timed dodges or well-timed parries. There's a button for dodge and there's a button for parry. Dodging um just means you don't take any damage.
00:27:51
Speaker
Parrying means you get to counterattack. And ah by the by a certain point in the game, you're almost required to parry.
00:28:02
Speaker
Like... If you're playing on normal difficulty. Now, of course, you can always play it on like story mode difficulty, and there's a lot less to worry about. But once you start getting to some of the harder bosses in the game, you're not only required to parry, but you're parrying like 8, 9, 10 consecutive attacks, which have weird timing.
00:28:26
Speaker
it's in some ways it's similar to punch out where you have to fight a boss a few times to learn the timing of their attacks. So you can dodge or parry their attacks.
00:28:37
Speaker
And like, I got to where I enjoyed that, but at first it's like very frustrating and annoying to like miss the timing. And some of those timing windows are very short.
00:28:53
Speaker
Um, So like that's my light one caveat about the game, is that like the combat can be frustrating, despite it largely being turn-based RPG combat.
00:29:07
Speaker
But once you get down like certain... um abilities and techniques, um not only can you really like do a lot of damage on a parry, you can min-max your characters to where they are destroying enemies.
00:29:24
Speaker
Nice. There's there's like ability or or stat min-maxing that you can do, and like certain builds with certain weapons and stuff, where like you I got this one character,
00:29:39
Speaker
mile to be doing like 15 million damage with a special attack.
00:29:50
Speaker
um So like that is also possible, and that feels great once you do like the min-maxing stuff. But it takes a while to really learn learn that.
00:30:01
Speaker
Story-wise, I don't want to talk about the game at all, because the game has two gigantic twists.
00:30:11
Speaker
That changed the way you perceive the game completely. Okay. It's nuts. like like What the game starts out as, it is not that by the end of the game. like Your perception of it just changes entirely um by act by the time you get to Act 3.
00:30:34
Speaker
ah but But the basic premise of the plot is like, it takes place in this kind of like fantastical world that looks very kind of abstract at times. And there's this, ah being named the paintress who keeps drawing a number on a big mountain and whatever that number is, um, anybody older than that is just disappeared, like dusted, like in Avengers infinity war.
00:31:05
Speaker
Um, So it's kind of got some like Logan's run about it. um But so Expedition 33, it says 33 on the mountain at the start of the game. And so anybody older than 33, gone.
00:31:17
Speaker
Chris, you and me, we're gone. and And so every year also, the people of this one city that's kind of removed from everything sends an expedition to the mainland to try to stop the paintress.
00:31:34
Speaker
And that's that's where you start. Um, it is very good. It is, it is a very good game and it is wild that it is essentially an independent game made by some people who used to work at Ubisoft who broke off and started their own studio. Think they're hiring?
00:31:51
Speaker
You could see, I think they're all in Canada, but, uh, I mean, Minnesota's pretty close to Canada. Not that far. Um, yeah. And, uh,
00:32:02
Speaker
And, you know, it couldn't hurt to to try to move up there right now. um So give it a shot. um But, yeah, I do recommend Clear Obscure Expedition 33, especially if you can find it on sale. I got it on a pretty decent sale myself and very, very much worth it.
00:32:21
Speaker
All right, Chris, those are our checks and recs, which means it's time to talk about some comics.
Recent Comic Book Discussions
00:32:28
Speaker
Now, Chris, understandably, you did not have much time to read any comics this week. Yeah, I didn't get anything read this week, unfortunately. ah so i will Remiss in my duties.
00:32:40
Speaker
I will tell you about the three books I read, which were not all from this week. So it's possible that you could have read these in weeks past. I don't know. um' I'm sort of catching us up from the handful of weeks we took off over Christmas. so Okay, one from this week I do want to talk about is The Mortal Thor 6. Mm-hmm.
00:33:01
Speaker
hey which I bet some dudes get fucked up in that comic. Well, it's very interesting. So what what has become clear by the point of Mortal Thor 6 is that Sigurd Jarlson, in the early issues of this book, those guys he was fighting then, those were the jobbers.
00:33:23
Speaker
okay Those were the guys that were building Sigurd Jarlson up until he could fight kind of more serious opponents.
00:33:35
Speaker
And so in issue six, which is a continuation of issue five, ah Sigurd Jarlson is up against Cobra, who is not called King Cobra here, just Cobra.
00:33:50
Speaker
And Cobra's like, oh, I'm tougher than those guys were.
00:33:56
Speaker
And so Sigurd Jarlson can't just like smash this smash Cobra in the face with his hammer. Like he has all these other guys. um And that's great. like it It's essentially becoming Sigurd Jarlson versus the Serpent Society, or it has been for these two issues.
00:34:16
Speaker
Which is pretty fantastic. um And then at the end of the issue, we get it even like... more leveled up opponent ah who is Mr. Hyde.
00:34:28
Speaker
um But yeah. That's interesting interesting because Mr. Hyde is enhancement talent. he I mean, he is. Yes, that's true. But um and nonetheless. Also, um we continue to get clues about like Donald Blake seeming to be behind all of this effort to take down Sigurd Jarlson.
00:34:52
Speaker
Who it is also expressly stated in this issue is not Thor. um
00:35:00
Speaker
So yeah, like it it continues to go in interesting directions. ah Mortal Thor is an incredibly fun book and continues to be ah really good. ah Pascual Ferry's art...
00:35:13
Speaker
um like I feel like throughout the whole run so far, it's been like a little bit different for him. you know um Maybe a little bit kind of more sketchy, but not in a bad way.
00:35:31
Speaker
like I really like the art style ah for this book so far, and it continues to work really well. so Mortal Thor, still good.
00:35:43
Speaker
I also read Ultimate Endgame No. 1, which by all... reports is the planned ending of the Jonathan Hickman-started Ultimate Universe.
00:36:02
Speaker
um But it is not written by Jonathan Hickman. It is written by Dennis Camp. Interesting. Which is a little unusual, yeah. And it has art by two artists, um Terry and Rachel Dodson and Jonas Scharf.
00:36:20
Speaker
And the the the difference in those two art styles is unbelievable. Yeah, I bet. the the The Terry and Rachel Dodson parts are exactly what you would expect.
00:36:33
Speaker
The Jonas Sharf parts, like Jonas Sharf does this prologue where um we see the maker and he's just like distorting and and becoming like weirdly uncanny and his face is all bending up. That's like horrific.
00:36:50
Speaker
Like it is This book is making the maker like... like a Lovecraft demon. And the end of the issue makes that even more of a thing where like the maker is transforming into, you know, something more than just a guy. ah It's pretty wild stuff. um But yeah, I mean, it really does feel like the ending of this universe, like, like the culmination of what everything, of everything that's been building.
00:37:26
Speaker
where we're going to get like this big showdown between ah young young Tony Stark and his group of ultimates and ah the maker and his forces.
00:37:43
Speaker
ah And in Hand, as they're known here. um Yeah, um interesting and good stuff, though. have... i have
00:37:56
Speaker
Largely liked the Ultimate books since they started a couple years ago. And it's interesting that they're already ending. like Again, they've said that they're that this was the plan the whole time for it to be like a limited amount of time that this exists.
00:38:15
Speaker
um But whether it was or not, ah you know this does seem like... a very compelling story, ah and that that's going to wrap it all up.
00:38:28
Speaker
And then finally, um, DC KO number three. Did you read this, Chris? I did not. Okay. Scott Snyder, Javi Fernandez.
00:38:39
Speaker
So, okay. So round one was the big battle Royal, right? Round two was a bunch of one-on-one fights in issue two. And round three is tag teams.
00:38:52
Speaker
Love it. So ah Superman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Cyborg, Zatanna, Guy Gardner, Lex Luthor, and Joker get to pick heroes who have already but characters who have already been defeated to be their tag team partners.
00:39:14
Speaker
And I won't give away who challenges who, or who chooses who or anything, but the Jokers is very funny. And, um, some wild shit happens. ill Well, I'll reveal one of them. One of them is Supergirl.
00:39:29
Speaker
Okay. And some wild, and that's Lex Luthor's choice. And clearly at the beginning, Supergirl's reaction to that is, I am not going to fight with you. I'm not going to be your partner. What do you, what do you think?
00:39:45
Speaker
What are you thinking? And then Lex Luthor does a thing that's like, um, so hilariously Lex Luthor-ish to ah force that to happen.
00:40:02
Speaker
Also, um okay, I'll reveal another tag team partner. I guess I have to. um So Superman chooses Captain Marvel. Good choice. They do a Dragon Ball fusion.
00:40:14
Speaker
All right. Alright, hell yeah, hell yeah. so So you're telling me this is ah this is a a Battle Bowl lethal lottery? It very much is that, But it's also a Cell Games?
00:40:27
Speaker
Yes, like... Hell yeah, hell yeah. down Down to the earrings, they do a Dragon Ball Fusion. Fuck yeah. ah Then the end of this issue cranks it up even more.
00:40:42
Speaker
So, like, we get the four winners of the of the tag team fights. And they get sent to, um like, the newest arena.
00:40:53
Speaker
And their opponents are... Chris, I'm just going to give it away.
00:41:01
Speaker
Four absolute characters. Hell yeah. DCKO Wild. DCKO Wild. DCKO Wild.
00:41:12
Speaker
And good. ah So um you should catch up on it, Chris. it's it's It is buck. Wild as buck.
00:41:23
Speaker
All right, Chris. Those are our comics reviews, which means it is time for us to rate some swords. Let's get into it. Let's do it. but when not swing the sos the ya cho up ball Okay, Chris, before we start taking new 1 to 10 of Swords submissions, I do want to do something ah because we tabled this sword until one of us played the game, and I have now played the game. It was my wreck on this episode.
00:41:53
Speaker
That is the Barrier Breaker from Claire Obscure, Expedition 33, submitted by Tim Pascoe. I have a rating for the barrier breaker from expedition 33. I mean, I will say it looks pretty dope.
00:42:10
Speaker
Yeah. It's a very cool looking sword. Um, I, I will, I will give you the pros and cons of the barrier breaker. Okay. Uh, the pros are that it looks dope as hell.
00:42:27
Speaker
It is quite powerful and, And it has a bonkers narrative purpose. Okay. It literally does what the name says. Like, it destroys a giant shield that prevents the characters from going to a particular place.
00:42:46
Speaker
um Also, you have to kill essentially two gods to possess it. all right Alright. Sounded pretty good so far.
00:42:58
Speaker
Yeah. The con, and there's really only one con, is that it is not the best sword in the game. Not even close. Okay. Like, you could continue to use it more or less throughout the endgame, but if you really want to min-max Mael, who is the wielder of it, ah and Mael is, all of her swords are essentially fencing foils.
00:43:25
Speaker
um Like, that is her type of sword that she uses. um and And this one is in that category, even though it looks you know very ornate.
00:43:38
Speaker
um but But part of all that like filigree around the handle is is kind of like the the defensive grip of a fencing foil to a degree. okay um But like once you start leveling weapons up to... like their maximum level, like once you get all the items that you need to like level weapons all the way up, Barrier Breaker's not the one you're going to want to do that with.
00:44:10
Speaker
So that's that's my one like downside to Barrier Breaker, but it is cool it is so cool in every other regard. I'm going to give it an 8.
00:44:21
Speaker
Respectable. Respectable. I think it's it's perfectly respectable and good to give that sword an 8.
00:44:32
Speaker
ah That does put it on par with Serpeko's Sylphsword and the Pure Nail. Okay. Among others.
00:44:44
Speaker
I think that's about right. I think that's about right. right. It's on par with Soul Taker, Katana's sword. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's right on. Katana's Katana.
00:44:55
Speaker
Yes. ah Now, I'm going to find where we left off in ah the sword ranking ah before this. i Was the last one we ranked ah Rat Death from Redwall? Death, yes.
00:45:13
Speaker
Okay. Let me see. ah that Okay, we got that one in July of last year, so that is where we're going to start.
00:45:26
Speaker
Okay, so our next submission, oh right, we we we didn't rank we didn't rate Razor Sharp for reasons. All right, here's our next... Matt, we've got a we've got to be united 2026.
00:45:43
Speaker
We really do. We have to be united. All right, Chris Kaiser has our next submission. All right, the Kais. Chris says, I don't know how I expect you guys to rate this one, but I'm sure you'll have an opinion. My sword submission is the Stygian Blade, Zagreus' starting weapon in Hades. I'll leave it to you to determine whether you want to factor the various aspects of the sword you can earn in the game, but if you need a single visual to discuss, let's go with the basic aspect of Zagreus.
00:46:08
Speaker
Okay, here's this is a question i have for you, Matt. Okay, okay.
00:46:15
Speaker
Do the different aspects count as different swords? or Or does the fact that it can transform into different aspects, is that just a property of the Stygian Blade? Because it is canon yeah that it is all of these swords.
00:46:38
Speaker
I think we have to say that it's... One sword that can transform into the aspects of Nemesis, Poseidon, and Arthur.
00:46:49
Speaker
Okay. So, it is essentially Excalibur already. in In that particular form, yes. Yes. yeah ah It's Excalibur that can also turn into...
00:47:03
Speaker
a, uh, machete that Nemesis uses. And I actually really, really like the, the base design of the Stygian blade. Uh, yeah, I think, I think the base design is the best looking of the four. Um, but I think, I think the aspect of Arthur looks pretty good.
00:47:24
Speaker
They're all cool. Yeah. They are all cool. Um, Undoubtedly. but But if I had to pick one that's my favorite, I really do like the just the basic Zagreus Stygian blade.
00:47:37
Speaker
It certainly is like the iconic weapon of ah Hades. One of the ah funniest bits of playing Hades 2 is seeing all of the Infernal Arms. Yeah.
00:47:54
Speaker
With other bearers. So ah Nemesis having Stygian. ah And ah Athena having the shield. And Aeris having the ah the rail gun.
00:48:07
Speaker
The adamant rail. yeah oh ah Because I'm like, those are mine. i want those. Get those back. ah But yes, I quite like the Stygian blade. It was my...
00:48:22
Speaker
I think it was probably my favorite of the Infernal Arms in Hades. I did quite like the the the heart-seeking bow and ah some of the aspects of the twin fists, but ah I definitely liked the sword. because it's i wanted to I want to say the one I used the most was probably the spear.
00:48:47
Speaker
But the Stygian Blade... you know is kind of the yeah it's it's the It's the iconic one. It's what you start out with. Yeah. And also, like you know between us a sword, a spear, a shield, a bow, a gauntlet, or railgun, you're probably going to expect a character in a game like this to have a sword.
00:49:15
Speaker
Yeah. ah I would say... The fact that it is a sword that is four swords, including Excalibur, or including a Well, no, the ability of the Aspect of Arthur says, you have holy Excalibur.
00:49:37
Speaker
ah So it is Excalibur. I think it's a 10 out of 10. I don't know what we can do with a sword that is four extremely good swords.
00:49:48
Speaker
the the And the look of the like main Stygian blade, I love it. i love how wide the blade is. The blade is super wide. The the hilt has that skull on it with the kind of like, um the and what do you call that? The laurels?
00:50:07
Speaker
Yeah, the laurels, I guess. And then the blade is multicolored. With runes. With runes. um All good shit, you know? Like, all stuff I i love.
00:50:19
Speaker
I do want a replica of the Stygian Blade. That is a thing I have wanted for quite some time. I think I was going to say maybe a 9, but I can't really argue against 10. It's it's pretty pretty right on.
00:50:32
Speaker
I mean, we have... It looks so good. Yeah. Like, we have Excalibur at 9. Yeah. Yeah. like Like the classic Lemar Darther Excalibur. This one is Excalibur Plus. Yeah, it's Excalibur and then three other cool swords.
00:50:52
Speaker
Yeah. So, yeah, i think the ah I think the old Stygian Blade is... is It's be 10. It's gotta be a 10. gotta be a ten
00:51:06
Speaker
I don't know how else we can go about it. I think if it was just the base aspect of Zagreus, Stygian Blade, it would still probably be like a 9. Like an 8 or a 9. But if if we are including all of the aspects, which I think we must, then then let's call it a 10.
00:51:27
Speaker
So Stygian Blade of the Underworld joins the ranks of the Dragonslayer and the Master Sword. Also a sword we have spent a considerable amount of time with Yes, both of us.
00:51:39
Speaker
Very true. All right. Here's our next sword, Chris. It is from Matthew Bernius. And I have just forwarded you his email ah because it has some some visual ah guides and help and and resources that I think we will need. They better not be what this is. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.
00:52:05
Speaker
But ah Matthew's submission, who Matthew notes this submission is because controversy breeds cash.
00:52:16
Speaker
It's the Batangas, or Balis sword, a real-world blade from the Philippines, which is just a really big balisong, typically with around a 32-inch blade.
00:52:29
Speaker
Yeah, the balisong or butterfly knife. Yeah, so a butterfly knife, but this is a butterfly sword. Yeah. no Now, like now that here's the thing. here's the thing um There's a lot of justification in here ah that that this actually is a sword. ah ah it It is included in ah matt Matthew, that's your name, ah in the email that ah To vex Chris, the Balasword's 32-inch blade by itself is longer than the total lengths, blade and pommel, of the Dragon Dagger, disqualified from being a a dagger, and Saba, which Chris said was a sword.
00:53:10
Speaker
is a sword Yeah, this is sword. There's no controversy in this for me. I don't think this is a particularly controversial ah submission either. I think it's you could just look at it and say that's a sword. Yeah, man.
00:53:26
Speaker
I mean, a sword is essentially a big knife. Yes. um it It has more to do with just, like, size and the way you hold Yeah.
00:53:37
Speaker
I think the controversial aspect of this would be that because the blade has to fit in the handle, because it's it's built like a butterfly knife, yeah um that the the handle is by necessity longer than the blade.
00:53:54
Speaker
Which I think you could maybe make a case that that's not that most swords obviously don't do that. And you're getting like closer to spear territory.
00:54:08
Speaker
But this is clearly a sword. Yeah, I think there's no doubting that this is a sword. It just has a very long handle. That's really it. Yeah. ah Also, ah helpful facts from from Matt. that's your name Batangas is the city in the Philippines that claims to be the birthplace for the Balasong.
00:54:27
Speaker
oh And it's ah it's a little bit of a novelty. But, I mean, yeah, it kind of owns. Yeah, i mean, it's cool. Yeah.
00:54:39
Speaker
ah And apparently it has made its way into fan media... Like the 2012 TMNT show and Battle Angel Alita's Damascus Blade. I'm save this picture on a swan to John if it's a web P. I'm going to lose my sugar, dude.
00:54:58
Speaker
No, it's a JPEG. Okay. Oh, yes. There was a balisword in the 2012 TMNT show. Okay, who used it? Based on the image on the wiki, Raphael.
00:55:12
Speaker
Okay, because see, if it was if it was Leo, that's a sword. Easy. If it was Don, then we'd have to be like, m maybe it's closer to a spear. Raph, that could go either way, I think. sorry don really yeah So to... Well, actually, okay. ah it's it's none of It's actually none of the turtles. It's it's an in it's a villain named Fishface.
00:55:38
Speaker
Gross. Gross, yeah.
00:55:41
Speaker
Oh, shoot. refs Raph is in the image, um but ah apparently it's Fishface who's wielding it. Oh, okay. So, there you go.
00:55:53
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, like this this is clearly a sword. Yeah, it's pretty cool. yeah Butterfly knives are cool. Butterfly knives are cool. They're not my favorite knives. No, me neither. they're They're more of a novelty than anything.
00:56:07
Speaker
ah I mean, it even in the email, Matthew says that this is considered a novelty in the Philippines. ah Yeah, like, a Bell Song isn't my favorite knife, not even my favorite folding knife by far. Like, I think, you know, I generally prefer a fixed blade.
00:56:29
Speaker
ah Or if I if i have a a folding knife, I like it to have a locking blade. um Primarily because I'm clumsy. Sure. Yeah, that makes sense.
00:56:42
Speaker
ah But yeah, like a stick that turns into a sword is always going pretty cool. Yeah, like a like ah a cane sword. We would also consider a cane sword a sword. Yeah, a cane sword's a sword.
00:56:56
Speaker
Yeah. The interesting thing about a cane sword is you can also use it as a blunt weapon. A non-bladed weapon. That's true. Because you can hit people with a stick.
00:57:08
Speaker
I mean, you could use balasword as a blunt weapon as well. Seems like. Although I wonder... i mean, well, I guess a cane sword is also hollow, obviously.
00:57:21
Speaker
Right. But I wonder if... ah if the hollow handles of a balisword can take beating? That's a good question.
00:57:32
Speaker
I'm not sure. My first blush sense is to give this a six.
00:57:39
Speaker
Like, in concept. Because we are kind of ranking it inclusively as a concept. Right. It's not one specific sword. It's a type of sword. Yeah. Yeah. I think we've got the the ones... I appreciate this. ah ah Matthew, that is your name.
00:57:56
Speaker
ah Sent two different examples. um Both of which I think are quite interesting. ah Because one of them is very like ultra-modern. Has like a serrated bit. The other one has like the wavy kind of crisp dagger blade. But also like the the hinge is an eagle. Which is pretty cool.
00:58:17
Speaker
Yeah. I think in concept, yeah, I think this is a six. All right. we We're in agreement. It's a six. yeah i I think that's fair and good.
00:58:29
Speaker
Like yeah a little bit gimmicky, a little bit of a novelty, but cool. ah Cool. I would not mind owning one, but I'm not going to go out and look for one. Yeah. Yeah. i i think that okay I think that's good.
00:58:42
Speaker
I think that's good. I mean, if anybody has one and they want to give it to me, I'll take
00:58:51
Speaker
Alright, our next submission... i am checking Smokey Mountain Knifeworks to see if there's a Battle of Swords available.
00:58:59
Speaker
Our next submission is from the boss dog, Patrick O'Duffy. And... Look, man. I don't know. I don't know. We're gonna find out. We're gonna find out if these count.
00:59:11
Speaker
What now? Patrick says, hi, lads. Today I'd like to nominate a pair of swords. Unnamed, but certainly a match set. patrick i like Patrick's a friend. Patrick is a friend of the show and a friend of ours.
00:59:26
Speaker
Yes, Patrick got me um ah a nice Christmas present, and I would like to thank him for that on the show. it was yes it was I got some some nice beard... I guess you'd call it beard shampoo.
00:59:41
Speaker
ah from him. And that's that was very kind. Thank you, Patrick. But I don't know if we're going to rate this match set as swords. I'm just going to say it.
00:59:52
Speaker
This is a clear like test the limits submission. okay Alright. Pair of swords, unnamed but certainly a match set. They have blades about two feet long, short but still definitely sword legal, sharp on one edge with a curved and sharp tip.
01:00:08
Speaker
They are weapons used by Douglas Scott, a martial artist turned mercenary and assassin, who, before his sad demise, worked under the villus numbed plume of Razor Fist. They're not claws, they're not knives, they are swords, and thus I demand placement upon your list.
01:00:23
Speaker
I am not a crank. Okay.
01:00:33
Speaker
Okay.
01:00:42
Speaker
So unlike unlike Razor Sharp, aha these are not
01:00:49
Speaker
Razor Fist doesn't transform into blades. correct These are blades that are attached to his arms. yes He is she's a man whose hands are swords.
01:01:04
Speaker
Right. they He has prosthetic arms from like the elbow down. And those prosthetics happen to be blades.
01:01:15
Speaker
Swords, yeah.
01:01:19
Speaker
Yeah. ma'am Yeah, man. Yeah, I gotta give it to Patrick. These are swords. These gotta be swords, Matt. Okay, so so the absence of handles... well this Well, we can't say that these aren't swords because they are wielded by...
01:01:38
Speaker
they They are adapted for use by ah someone with a disability. Sure. We can't say they're not swords because they have accessibility. that's That's more than fair. Yes, that's more than fair. They are they perform the function of swords.
01:01:53
Speaker
They are sword-shaped. I would say the the more important part of a sword is a blade rather than a handle.
01:02:04
Speaker
I don't know if a sword needs a handle.
01:02:09
Speaker
okay But it is – there is an apparatus that forms the function of a handle, because they are mounted at the end of his arms.
01:02:20
Speaker
Right, they are they're mounted to his to his arms.
01:02:25
Speaker
So here's the question, then. Yeah. Are they any good? like i like No! They're just to they're just like the most basic blades. No, dude, they're not good at all. yeah Fucking Razor Fist gets his ass whipped ah every time he shows up. like he He's enhancement talent.
01:02:44
Speaker
Yeah, he is a jobber. He is a jobber through and through. yeah man. Was Gilbert a good wrestler? man yeah I don't know, he was entertaining.
01:02:55
Speaker
I don't know if he's on the fucking PWI. Gilbert is a but perhaps unfair comparison. Like, at least Iron Mike Sharp.
01:03:10
Speaker
Or, well, was Brad Armstrong a jobber? damn Yeah. Yeah. he's He's like the Brad Armstrong of Marvel Comics. that's that I think that's really selling him high.
01:03:26
Speaker
Because Razor Fist, no, he's not he's he's not even in Batroc's Brigade. Machete is in Batroc's Brigade. Here's my big thing about Razor Fist. His swords, the swords that he has for arms. Wouldn't it be funny is if we ruled that these were razors? that would be Yes, that would be very funny.
01:03:46
Speaker
I feel like they're often drawn, like, pointing the wrong way. Like, the the the image we now have in the sword sheet, like, ah huh those don't look useful.
01:03:57
Speaker
Well, they're, okay, they're, so, do you think the blades should be facing... Outward. Outward? Yeah. But when you, when you... when i'm I'm chopping with my arm right now. They should be facing...
01:04:12
Speaker
They should be facing as though his fist was pointed up, like thumb up. Yeah, i agree. But they are pointed as though they are portli on his wrist side.
01:04:24
Speaker
Okay, with all this in mind, I'm going to say two.
01:04:29
Speaker
Maybe a three. Because like they're like here's the thing, I don't think he can rotate them. so like There's not there's not like articulation involved in them.
01:04:41
Speaker
So he's very limited. yeah And also, like you never see him without him, so it's kind of like they're just on there. And that makes it it like that's difficult to live.
01:04:54
Speaker
i Yes. How you going to make ah mac and cheese for yourself at home? Yeah. Uh, I mean, ah hopefully he can switch them out for like more useful prosthetics at home.
01:05:10
Speaker
I would hope. Yeah. Also, Razor Fist is often drawn as jacked and it is very funny to think about him like doing pushups with those. Yeah. How does he, how did he get, how does he work out?
01:05:23
Speaker
These, these things we need to know. Um, Alright, it's a two or a three, for sure. i I think you're right. I think two. Two. Two. Yeah. i mean they're They're not good, and he doesn't... Like, they're not useful. It would be more useful for him to have a prosthetic hand that he could hold swords with.
01:05:44
Speaker
I think. Rather than just having of giant meat cleaver blade there. Yeah. Yeah. Uh...
01:05:56
Speaker
Don't know, man. Don't know. I mean, we do know. It's two. It's a two, yeah. and We do know. but Okay. Our next submission is from Ashley Buchanan.
01:06:16
Speaker
From Ocarina Time, it does double the damage the Master Sword does. It's the Big Goron Sword.
01:06:23
Speaker
the The Big Goron Sword, a.k.a. the Big Goron Sword. Yes, yes, yes. I love it. Yeah, it's great. I love it because it is... It's a big sword used by Gorons, so it's the Bigoron sword.
01:06:40
Speaker
Big Goron sword, yeah. Yeah, it's the Bigoron sword. it's It's one word. That thing? That thing's a big sword. It does what it says. Yeah. I believe... It's been a long time since I played Ocarina Time, but...
01:06:56
Speaker
I believe it is it does double the damage, but it's considerably slower than Master Sword. Now, it is it is ah also in the Wild, Tears the Kingdom.
01:07:11
Speaker
True, true. I mean, the one that's being submitted is the one from Ocarina of Time, but, you know, is is are we really going to split hairs?
01:07:23
Speaker
Are they all kind of the same? Also, it's ah there's a ah curved version that Impa uses in Hyrule Warriors that is pretty cool.
01:07:35
Speaker
Yes. Yes. And it's in Soul Calibur, apparently. it's if I remember right, the Big Goron Sword in Ocarina of Time in particular...
01:07:49
Speaker
is like you need it for a particular purpose. It's been a really long time since I since i have used it in Ocarina of Time or played with it.
01:08:00
Speaker
Yeah, and i famously don't like Ocarina of Time. Yeah. i I think it's a bad game. And I shan't be explaining.
01:08:12
Speaker
Oh, you can't use a shield with it. Right. Kind of like the Megaton Hammer. Mm-hmm. If the shield button is pressed, Link attempts to protect himself with a blade. I think I'm getting it confused with the Megaton Hammer, which you need to destroy certain like um boulders.
01:08:31
Speaker
And I was thinking the the Big Goron Sword did that, but it doesn't. Now, ah here's what I'll i'll say. ah in In ah Breath of the Wild, it has a base attack rating of 50.
01:08:50
Speaker
ah the base attack rating of the Master Sword is 30. thirty Right. So it is, in Breath the Wild, Tears of the Kingdom, it is stronger than the Master Sword, and you can use fusion on it in in Tears the Kingdom.
01:09:07
Speaker
oh But I mean, it's essentially just a big sword. it's It's a big sword, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's it's basically like...
01:09:20
Speaker
a really good greatsword. Like, that's kind of it. It doesn't shoot beans. No, it's not as good as the Master Sword. I think we can definitely say that. No.
01:09:32
Speaker
Because here's the thing. if it was good If it was going to be twice the damage of the Master Sword, like, the Master Sword is one-handed. So you're, at least in Tears the Kingdom, you're getting over half the damage, and you still have a hand free.
01:09:49
Speaker
And you could use a shield, yeah. And you could use a shield, yeah. yeah Plus it's slow. It occurred to me while I was playing Tears of the Kingdom, because I'm still doing that. I'm going to get all 1,000 of those motherfuckers, Matt.
01:10:02
Speaker
I've got 460, no, I've them right now. Okay. And ha ha ha. i don't know where the other five hundred of them are
01:10:15
Speaker
Because what the fuck? i have I have scoured this game pretty hard. And like I'm still finding one here or there. But not the same amount that I've already found.
01:10:27
Speaker
What the fuck? yeah Anyway. um What was I saying? Oh yeah. oh It occurs to me how strong Link is. like I don't feel like we think of Link as being an extremely strong character.
01:10:41
Speaker
a burly boy. Yeah. Because you know. You know, ah he's he's just a little guy. He's just a little guy. Yeah. But he can do a standing backflip wearing plate mail.
01:10:57
Speaker
Not a lot can achieve such a thing. Yeah. There are not many such cases of that happening. um So yeah, man. ah I don't know what I'm getting at here.
01:11:10
Speaker
The Bickeron sword is great. It is just kind of a big sword. like a seven I don't even know if it goes that high, because again, it doesn't... Six.
01:11:20
Speaker
Other than being big, it doesn't have anything special about it. You know? Yeah. It's just big. And we got a big sword on here.
01:11:33
Speaker
Yeah. I don't think we get the bigger on-sword without the Dragon Slayer. I agree. um six Five, even? i mean, it's like...
01:11:48
Speaker
it's It's tough to say, because i like five would mean it's an average sword. My heart says six. I think six is probably right. Even though we've already had one six this episode, I think it's right. I will say, this is a sword that I already had a picture of on my hard drive.
01:12:04
Speaker
That's meaningful. That is definitely meaningful. And I like that it has kind of like a flared head. Yes. I like that it's got a... It's got a glance on it. It's got a glance. It's glancing.
01:12:26
Speaker
Because we all know what swords ah are meant to a represent.
01:12:37
Speaker
Okay.
01:12:40
Speaker
Our next submission is from CrawlingDeadMan. who first submitted the Ivory Handled Katana of Connor McCloud, but we've already rated that.
01:12:54
Speaker
Now, Matt, do you want to change the rating now that you own? but That's not the one I own. Oh, that's that's true. You own the one of Duncan McCloud? That's right. So then, Crawling Dead Man resubmitted the nail from Hollow Knight, which we've also rated.
01:13:11
Speaker
Rated the pure nail, yeah. So... Crawling Dead Man suggests this backup, the Green Destiny from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. That's a pretty fucking good sword.
01:13:24
Speaker
It's a pretty fucking good sword. I kind of forgot about it.
01:13:29
Speaker
It's beautiful, man. Yeah, that's a pretty sword. And it's also like, i mean, that's a good movie. It's a really good movie, yeah. But it's also like, what a kick-ass name.
01:13:42
Speaker
The Green Destiny. Green Destiny. And it's and it is like partially green on the blade. Yeah, man. It's got that it'll cool fucking dragon on it.
01:13:55
Speaker
Yeah. It's good, man. Yeah, Green Destiny's good as hell. And like, Crouchy Tiger Hidden Dragon... of all like kind of martial arts movies where characters use weapons.
01:14:10
Speaker
ah i I love the sort of use of swords in that movie. like the the the the sharp the you know The blade is used...
01:14:21
Speaker
for cutting, like the sharp end for sword fighting and cutting, but then the blunt side, multiple times in that movie, is just used to kind of like tap people with. Yeah, like the flat of the blade.
01:14:33
Speaker
Yeah. smack them. Yeah, love that. Like, every time that happens, that happens a couple times in that movie, and every time it's very enjoyable. I will say, like, as far as general categories of sword go, I really like this kind of Chinese martial arts sword.
01:14:50
Speaker
ah With like the small a guard, the short handle, the thin blade. I think it's a really cool look. it's the It's the one Michelle Yeoh mostly uses, right?
01:15:03
Speaker
ah yeah Well, Michelle Yeoh has that scene in that movie where she uses all swords. That's true. That's true.
01:15:13
Speaker
But yeah, ah the the the green destiny...
01:15:19
Speaker
Pretty fucking cool, man. Yeah, it's it's real good. um It's a John. ah that's the Like it's from Philadelphia? No, not a ja John. a John?
01:15:32
Speaker
you you stab me with that John real quick? Hey man, where's that Green Destiny gimmick? J-I-A-N. John. Wow.
01:15:46
Speaker
Yeah, man, I do quite like the green destiny. Yeah. What kick-ass name. Is this... A name that like is a perfect sword name, because it kind of means nothing.
01:16:00
Speaker
It's just an accurate descriptor of the sword, and a cool word. Well, I guess your destiny is that... Your destiny is the sword. If the if you die by being stabbed with it, that's your destiny. no Yeah. um um I haven't watched Crash of Tiger, Hidden Dragon in a minute.
01:16:20
Speaker
It's good, man. It's good. i i mean Apparently there was a sequel. yeah Yeah, there was. I don't think the sequel was directed by Lee or had any of the same people in it.
01:16:34
Speaker
It was directed by Yen Woo Ping. Oh, well. Who, you know, I think did the fight choreography in the original, right? like Yeah. I mean, it's got great people in it. Donnie Yen, Michelle Yeoh. Damn, maybe I should watch the sequel Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. That sounds good.
01:16:51
Speaker
It's like 10 years. it was like 10 years ago. I didn't hear a lot about it, but... no ah maybe yeah Maybe we should both watch the sequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Maybe that should be the next... Maybe when we finally revive Movie Fighters. that maybe we should Maybe it should be movie lovers.
01:17:09
Speaker
And we should watch things be like. Yeah, we should watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 2. um I'm going to say this sword is a nine
01:17:23
Speaker
a 9. My initial thought was 8.
01:17:27
Speaker
Because, again, it's it's like i feel like to be a 9 or a 10, there has to be something additional about it.
01:17:39
Speaker
Right? Like, I think like like it's got to be a magic sword. It's got to be a sword that does something else. The Dragon Slayer is a 10 because no human being could use it.
01:17:53
Speaker
Except for this one guy. Who exists in the Interstice. Right, right. ah You know, like the Krasygrim, that's ah like that's ah ah an impossible sword.
01:18:08
Speaker
All right, then then let's call it an eight. I think that puts it that puts it and at the same level as the Barrier Breaker, which I think is right on the money. i Again, wouldn't mind owning one.
01:18:22
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, you could buy a bunch of replicas of it, according to the research I just did. Much more likely to do that than to purchase ah a a Biggeron sword.
01:18:34
Speaker
Or are a Batangas. Our next submission comes from Greg Paknet. And Greg's first submission was the Soul Taker, Katana Sword, which we have already rated.
01:18:48
Speaker
Word. this So Greg submitted a second submission, which is, once again, one we're going to have to decide if it's a sword or not.
01:19:00
Speaker
okay
01:19:03
Speaker
Greg submits the focus totality of Psylocke's telekinetic powers.
01:19:11
Speaker
ah Okay. Okay. Here's the thing.
01:19:18
Speaker
She does form it into a sword. She does.
01:19:27
Speaker
Fuck. Now, she also has a sword. she Well, but does isn't the sword that she has... Like, she has a sword. Isn't the sword she has, like, a physical manifestation of her powers?
01:19:40
Speaker
She has a sword that's just a sword. The Shirayuki. Okay. Which was forged in Japan a thousand years ago. Was it given to her by Ramirez?
01:19:54
Speaker
It was given but by an old friend, according to the Marvel database. So she has a sword that is a that is a real sword. I love that the picture of this sword that is on ah the Marvel Wiki is ah fully a J. Scott Campbell piece in all its glory.
01:20:13
Speaker
Absolutely J. Scott Campbell. There's also 69 images of the Shariuki. Nice. Her waist is 15 inches max. Yeah. her waist is fifteen inches max ah'd Let me tell you, when we were doing X-Men 92, and ah we asked Alty, Alty Formancia, who drew the book, ah Chad and I asked her, like, hey, what are your influences? And she was like, Gen 13 and Dragon Ball.
01:20:38
Speaker
And we were like, got it! Got it! And if you go look at the way she drew Psylocke, you can easily see that. yeah um so So, yes, Psylocke does have a sword that is just a sword.
01:20:53
Speaker
I... e
01:20:58
Speaker
ah e I This is tough, because like I'm pretty sure she can shape her power into a sword and has used it like as a sword.
01:21:16
Speaker
i do believe that that that is true, yes. But also she's just used it as like a like a little blade around her fist. she She has done both. I think just because something can be a sword doesn't mean it is a sword.
01:21:34
Speaker
She's also made it into a spear in art that I'm finding. Yeah. Okay, would you consider Undriyarn the All-Weapon to be a sword?
01:21:47
Speaker
I think it must be considered all weapons, right? Yeah, but does that mean we rank it as a sword? Because it can turn into a sword. We've seen it do that. But we've also seen it be a bunch of other things.
01:22:02
Speaker
Well, hmm. This is a tough one. This is a tough one to... This one I'm willing to i'm i'm willing to debate.
01:22:16
Speaker
but i think
01:22:19
Speaker
I think if we see Psylocke using a sword and also using her powers as a non-sword, don't know if we can consider her powers to be a sword.
01:22:35
Speaker
She has formed it into just like straight up a sword. That much we can say for sure. Yes.
01:22:47
Speaker
But it is not always in the form of sword. And thus, is it a sword? Right. This is the question. If something can be a sword, is it a sword?
01:23:01
Speaker
Have we ranked any, like, we ranked the Stygian Blade, which has alternate forms that are all sorts. Well, we have ranked um All Black the Necrosword, which can change its shape.
01:23:16
Speaker
But is it always a sword?
01:23:21
Speaker
I mean, in in the photo, in the image we used, it's a dual-bladed sword, but that's still a sword.
01:23:30
Speaker
this is this is This is very tough. This is very tough. And I know that we are, we we're the we're the deciders, Matt. We're the arbiters of this.
01:23:42
Speaker
Yeah. But i genuinely don't know Well, okay. I think we do have to rank it, because the Sword of Omens can be a dagger.
01:23:53
Speaker
The Sword of Omens is not always a sword. That's true. it It transforms into a sword when Lion-O says, Thundercats, Thundercats, Thundercats, ho.
01:24:04
Speaker
Yeah. So I think we do have to consider the focus totality of Psylocke's psychic powers, parentheses, sword form.
01:24:15
Speaker
Okay. I think we gotta. if If we specify that it's the sword form and not just her powers in general. Because, as you said, there are times where it's just like blades coming out of her fists.
01:24:31
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Now, so ah Betsy Braddock is not currently Psylocke. Betsy Braddock's Captain Britain, currently. Right. But she uses...
01:24:44
Speaker
a sword, and her psychic powers.
01:24:49
Speaker
Right? Like, she just channels her so like her powers into Excalibur.
01:24:58
Speaker
Yes? Yes, I believe that is correct. Or no, I guess it's not Excalibur. It's the the Sword of Might. Because Faiza Hussain still has Excalibur, I believe.
01:25:09
Speaker
Okay.
01:25:12
Speaker
All right. I'm seven. Sure. Okay, fine. i mean, it's pretty cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I mean, I like it when she when she she turns it into a sword. I think that's fun.
01:25:25
Speaker
i don't think it's as fun as when it's just her her hand with a big blade coming out of it. I feel like that looks cooler, yeah. Yeah. And and the fact that she's been given like a real sword in the last 15 years.
01:25:44
Speaker
I think indicates that to a degree. yeah
01:25:48
Speaker
But yeah, i I guess we kind of do need to specify which Psylocke we're talking about here, too. Because there's Betsy Braddock and there's Quanon. Yeah, there's Quanon. ah But Quanon doesn't have psychic powers, though, right?
01:26:03
Speaker
Does Quanon just have a sword?
01:26:08
Speaker
She has psychic powers. She has psychic powers. Now, I will say, there is a panel where ah Betsy Braddock goes into her mindscape and basically has a dragon slayer, which is pretty good.
01:26:21
Speaker
I believe in her early appearances, Quanon didn't have like telekinesis, but she does later. It's tough to keep up with what's happening with these motherfuckers, man.
01:26:34
Speaker
I know. I know. I know, man. You've got to read a lot of books. Yeah. um Maybe that's why she had a sword. and like Like an actual sword in 2013, because she couldn't make the psychic sword at the time. but Okay, but was that Quanon? That Quanon, yeah, for sure. When did Betsy and Quanon get separated again?
01:26:56
Speaker
I would say it was probably around 2013. I thought that was a Krakoa thing. Fuck, man, I don't know.
01:27:07
Speaker
i i I'll have to do some more research. yeah manager sure do do what Do you want to table this until we can really figure it out? No, I think 7 is fine. I think 7 is good.
01:27:19
Speaker
ah Let me let me get a ah picture of Psylocke. I think for no other reason than the ah the phrase focused totality, which I do adore.
01:27:33
Speaker
like The concept of focused totality. Really funny and really great. It's the focus totality. Man, it's the focus totality. She's focusing it, and it's all she got.
01:27:46
Speaker
And it's all she got, yeah.
'Horny' Video Games: A Discussion
01:27:51
Speaker
um Okay. So what are what are we giving this? Seven. Seven? Sure.
01:27:58
Speaker
Also, apparently she's in Marvel Rivals, which I don't know anything about. You and i we don't we don't mess with that. It's too horny for me. It's real horny. It seems really horny.
01:28:10
Speaker
like It could be a fun game. I'll never know. i don't know like i don't like I don't mind a horny video game. i gotta I gotta be aware of like who's around when I'm playing. you know like it's like i can't i can't I can't be dealing with that. i didnt what what What are you talking about? you have what Your wife?
01:28:30
Speaker
Your cats? People are coming to visit my house ah nowadays. oh i can't i can't i can't be I can't be seen as... It's the same reason I'll never like a thirst trap on Instagram.
01:28:43
Speaker
I used to like any picture I saw on Instagram that didn't have a cat on it.
01:28:49
Speaker
I won't have anything misconstrued online. what and what There are people who ah ah will take everything in the worst possible faith. I mean, yeah, I guess. That's true.
01:29:02
Speaker
So ah I'm not going to be mislabeled as a creep. Thanks my online behavior. Okay, but like you've played a horny game before. Yes, of course I have. I mean, Matt, well I don't want to get into this. I can't believe that I'm having to say this. But Matt, you've been horny before, right? Unlike Bonito, yes, I have.
01:29:27
Speaker
yeah Bonito signed that pledge, man. Bonito signed a pledge. I never signed one. um But I i did make a promise. I did make a promise at a youth retreat one year that I quickly broke.
01:29:41
Speaker
That you would never be horny? Yeah, pretty much. um But ah I mean, I played Mass Effect, which is pretty horny. so Did you just make sure you like looked away whenever?
01:29:55
Speaker
Yeah. ah so I'll be like, this is none of my business. Did you play Bayonetta? The first one. Yeah, I played the first one. Boy, if you play Bayonetta.
01:30:09
Speaker
you never like there's I don't know if there's ever going to be a hornier video game than Bayonetta. I mean, Marvel Rivals. um I don't know if Marvel Rivals is even... i haven't played it, so I don't know. I would be shocked. it's i But it's not even the game that's horny. It's the community...
01:30:25
Speaker
Around it. I mean, the game is horny. It's somewhat horny. But it's like, it's not. The community has like upped that quotient by a lot.
01:30:35
Speaker
Yeah. All right. We have time for one more sword. Okay. And that sword was submitted by Kevin McClain, who has a very simple submission for us.
01:30:47
Speaker
John Brown's sword. The sword that was carried into Harper's Ferry by someone in John Brown's party, possibly by John Brown himself. It's a cool as hell sword that looks ready to fuck up some fascist.
01:30:58
Speaker
Hell yes. 10. Absolutely 10. I'm forwarding you the email because it has an image in it. It's a fucking badass sword too.
01:31:11
Speaker
It's like gold. And that rocks. yeah it's It's a broadsword. ah I would like to read you um the – I mean, this is a photo from a museum.
01:31:29
Speaker
um I don't know what museum John Brown Sword is in, but – It's the Harper's Ferry Museum. It's the Harper's Ferry Museum? Okay. ah But there's ah there's a little – there's like – first off, there's like a little placard just like talking about the Harper's Ferry – uprising um And then there's another little placard that says, a sword from bleeding kansas this sword is believed to have been carried by one of john brown's men in a raid against proslavery settlers in pottawomi kansas
01:32:05
Speaker
and a letter to a quaker woman john brown justified his violent actions with a reference to the new testament You know that Christ once armed Peter, so also in my case, I think he put a sword in my hand, and there continued it so long as he saw best.
01:32:19
Speaker
Uh-huh. this So this sword was put in the hand of John Brown by Christ. Yeah, hell yeah. Heaven, yeah.
01:32:31
Speaker
10 out of 10, baby. Also, I mean, if you look at this thing, it does look like Conan would carry it. it is like It is not like a cavalry saber. It's a sword.
01:32:44
Speaker
it's It's like, I mean, it looks like a museum piece.
01:32:49
Speaker
You know? Yeah. Like, this does not look like a sword from the mid-1850s. This looks like a sword from medieval times. Yeah.
01:33:03
Speaker
10. Easy. Easy. No question. Historical significance dictates that it must be.
01:33:14
Speaker
Yeah, that's the thing. you can be You can be a magic sword that is used in in great deeds, or you can a sword can become magic by being used in great deeds.
01:33:25
Speaker
That's right. And I see no better place to wrap up this episode than there. With our latest 10. ah John Brown's sword. Yeah, 10 out of 10, baby.
01:33:37
Speaker
Easy. Great. Great. Easy work. See, that's I like it when the work's is easy. When people aren't like, oh, what about this thing? It's like, nope, here's a sword.
01:33:47
Speaker
Easy peasy. Of all the days to get John Brown's sword to raid, today was a good one. Today was a good one. All right. If you would like to send us a submission for one to 10 of swords or get in touch with us for any other reason with a listener question or an every story ever list, or you want to sponsor the show or you want to get in touch with us about anything else, you can email us at our email address, which is war rocket podcast at gmail.com.
Contact and Support Information
01:34:14
Speaker
You can also contact us on Tumblr. We're there as warrocketpodcast.tumblr.com. We're on Blue Sky.
01:34:21
Speaker
You can follow us there at warrocketajax.com. That is our Blue Sky handle. You can also get in touch with us on our discord. You have to be invited to be a member of our discord, but if you ask us for an invitation in any of the places i just mentioned, then we will send you one and you can be part of that community of war rocket Ajax fans.
01:34:43
Speaker
Our Patreon is another place you can contact us. Patreon.com slash war rocket Ajax. Please kick in money there for us. If you can, we talked about that earlier in the show.
01:34:54
Speaker
Our website is warrocketajax.com. It has every episode of the show we've ever done. Warrocketwiki.com is the fan-run repository of all the information you could want or need about this show, War Rocket Ajax. If you want to find me and my stuff, go to mattdwilson.net to find links to my comics, my books, my other podcasts, and my social medias. Chris, where can people find you?
01:35:15
Speaker
Everybody can find me by going to T H E dash isb.com. Uh, that is my website. It's got writing on it. Uh, it's got, uh, contact information. If you happen to be hiring, uh, or you can, you can just say it's and a nice thing. That's nice.
01:35:31
Speaker
Uh, but it's T E dash isb.com. If I post anything, it'll probably be there.
Closing Remarks and Social Justice
01:35:40
Speaker
ah We'll be back next week with a guest. Yeah. Exciting. Exciting to be getting back into the swing of things with one of our friends. That's right. ah Be here for that. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for for for being here with us as we start off a rough 2026 that we're all hoping gets better soon for everybody.
01:36:03
Speaker
Thank you for being here for us as we try to be here for you. We'll be here for you. We're all in it together. Yeah. So until next time, do not forget.
01:36:14
Speaker
Black Lives Matter. Trans rights are human rights. As are abortion rights. Drag is not a crime. Cops aren't your friends, and fuck ICE. Free Palestine, we love you.
01:36:24
Speaker
We love you. Yeah!
01:36:47
Speaker
From this day on.