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EP 03: Meet Whitney - Part time corporate marketing, full time queen.
2.8k Plays2 years ago
In part two of our three part “Meet the Moms Deep Dive” we meet Whitney! Whitney works in corporate marketing. She talks about how she decided to take a step back and go part time as a new mom, the struggles of finding childcare, and how work has changed since our early twenties. She shares advice for how corporate moms can communicate their needs, the power of vulnerability, and the pros and cons of daycare.
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Transcript
Introduction and Casual Chit-Chat
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh we're gonna get into it. What up milky milky mamas? I love that this is human cows. This is every time. Every time it's different. I think this is the thrill of the lifetime for me. I wish that y'all could hear I was gonna take a sip of my wine. See if it comes through. ASMR. A big old gulp.
00:00:31
Speaker
I heard it a little, I'm sure. God, that is good. It is, what time is it? It is almost 5 p.m. and I am childless.
The 'Witching Hour' Dilemma
00:00:40
Speaker
It's five o'clock somewhere.
00:00:43
Speaker
And I can't tell you, I don't know if y'all experienced this, but Alice, like this time between five and six 30 is- Oh, the witching hour is what I call it. It's muy bueno or no bueno. Yeah, it's muy bueno, no. No, it's the witching hour. It's really tough. So I always am really grateful when I am traveling and it gets to be this hour and I'm like, oh my God.
00:01:05
Speaker
It used to be the best time of day, end of the work day. It used to be five o'clock. Oh, and parties starting, like coworkers are going to a bar. We're going to get some snacks. And now it's like.
00:01:21
Speaker
It's really bad. It's really bad. At first, I thought you were going to say as a newborn, it was the best time. I was like, oh my God, that's when I started panicking. Pre-children, five o'clock. When the sun started to go down, I was like, when am I going to get woken up next? It was so scary. No, this used to be the fun part of the day and now it's- You're so
Balancing Sobriety and Life's Trends
00:01:40
Speaker
right. It's Friday. It's Friday. It's extra little extra-ish.
00:01:45
Speaker
But I've got my glass of wine here. Whitney, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's OK. You know, I'm thriving on my glass of wine. So Brian is chic these days. So you're just following the trend. I'm so trendy. I'm so sober.
00:01:57
Speaker
So as being drunk, chuggy now, I honestly feel like it might be. So I said the word chuggy recently and someone told me that saying chuggy was chuggy. And I was like, what is it? What is it that I'm like, sorry, we fit the age range. What do I say now? I saw something recently that was like, this is chuggy. And I was like, no, I think it was dyeing your hair blonde.
00:02:19
Speaker
Oh, I did see that I saw that on TikTok. People are saying being blonde is cheeky. And I was like, yeah, people are born this way. That's like, like, could you imagine?
00:02:29
Speaker
Well, people don't grow up that, most people are not actually blonde. I mean, my hair is not anymore. I was blonde, Graydon, my son is blonde, but he will definitely have dark hair. Yeah, but still like, I don't know, so many people. Blondes are a part of our societal, it's part of who we are as Americans, we need blondes.
00:02:49
Speaker
So, Shannon and I are blonde, by the way. This episode's gonna be called, We Need Blondes. We need us, blonde nation. Oh my gosh, we need us. Okay, well this episode is actually not about blondes. Well, it's about a blonde, Whitney. True. Yes, you're right.
Whitney's Corporate America Journey
00:03:06
Speaker
So, in the last episode, we talked about my work journey and everything, and today we're talking about Whitney Williams. Corporate America.
00:03:16
Speaker
She's a loyal girl. I've been there. It'll be 10 years this year. Wow. Isn't that disgusting? I mean, I'm not, not because I've been there that long, but we've been out of college that long. Yeah, that's been working for 10 years. That upsets me. Yeah, that's crazy. Okay. So tell us a little bit about your work situation, maybe currently and how it shifted.
00:03:37
Speaker
Yes. So when I had Graydon, I could not get into childcare. So I was working from home. I've always had this remote job even before it became trendy with COVID. Thank you. But I was remote and I had Graydon and in Nashville, if anyone lives in Nashville, the child market, I'm going to say is crazy.
00:04:01
Speaker
The child market. Sounds like you're selling children. You cannot find one. Guys, I am still on three waiting lists for daycares, which we decided was going to be the route for us either way. So I worked from home with Graydon until he was nine months old, graciously from my company.
Work-from-Home Challenges with Kids
00:04:22
Speaker
Thank you. That is wild. Yeah. And of course, I went back to work at three months and kept him at home for six of those months.
00:04:31
Speaker
while working. It was tough. And I thought it was hard back then. It just got worse because he just started moving and making noise. Oh my gosh. I just, I look back and like, how did I, well, that's my question is how did you do that? Wait, can you set this in a little bit about your company? Just like what industry and what your work is.
00:04:50
Speaker
Yes. So I started right out of college, applied to a company kind of in my family blood. It's in the building industry. Um, but it was for an entertaining job. So I was doing a lot of customer service. I actually worked with the Titans. Our company owned the naming rights of the Tennessee Titans football stadium. So I did a lot of customer entertaining, um, at the football games, at concerts,
00:05:17
Speaker
All the fun stuff that you do when you're 23, 24, I thought I was so cool. I had a great time and then went into the career of marketing, which I'm in now. And, um, so I'm due corporate marketing, but it's more of a field sales role. So I'm in field marketing. So through that, I went part time. Um, and I think it was April of last year.
00:05:44
Speaker
I had it come to Jesus. Yeah, I was going to pause you right there and be like, talk to us a little bit about what you were feeling when you got to that moment of being like, okay, something has to change. I feel like you hit the nail on the head in your episode by saying, I truly was splitting my time between
00:06:04
Speaker
grade and work. My family lives an hour away so it's not like I could rely on my parents to come and my dad was not retired at the time to come at a drop of a hat and help me every single day. That's just not realistic. So I was just praying and moving meetings around by his naps and he was also not a great sleeper.
00:06:27
Speaker
So I mean, sometimes I'd be in the middle of the week meeting and he would wake up and it was just like, I was nervous. I would lose all concentration on talking to clients, talking to customers. And I truly felt like I wasn't myself.
Managing Work, Motherhood, and Personal Life
00:06:41
Speaker
Yeah. And this is something I don't think I mentioned in the last episode, but when, when you are splitting hairs like that, that is when you start to feel like a failure at everything.
00:06:52
Speaker
I did. Yeah. You feel like you're bad at your job. You feel like you're bad at being a mom. Then when you're splitting the hairs there, there's no room for your marriage or for friends or for self-improvement or workouts. Like then honestly, I did get that feedback from my boss at my year end review. Did you really? What did she say? I mean, it was, she said it in the most complimentary way possible that I really like picked up
00:07:18
Speaker
the slack towards the end of the year and became more of what she thought I could be because, number one, I did go part-time in April, which my company, they have been so good to me. Honestly, that is probably why I'm so loyal to them, but I do love the company. They've just
00:07:38
Speaker
been so nice through my my career and through my husband's career, letting us move around and whatnot. But just taking a step back and realizing I had to and going through that journey. I also just want to say like you
Part-Time Work Solution
00:07:51
Speaker
did all the right things. Your preschool or your daycare like just didn't open on time.
00:07:58
Speaker
and your hands were tied. There was no other option for you. The one we got into was brand new and they just kept pushing back the date. You both keep using the term splitting your time, but in this case, it wasn't splitting. You were being a full-time mom and a full-time employee. You were doubling.
00:08:22
Speaker
Your efforts. I felt so anxious because my company kept asking, so when's it going to open? When's it going to open? And I'd have to be like, I truly don't know.
00:08:32
Speaker
I cannot give you an answer. It was so tough. I used to travel like crazy probably every other week, be gone for three days at a time. I did love it. It's just not conducive to my life now. Me taking a step back and becoming part-time meant cutting off travel completely.
00:08:55
Speaker
Which was tough. Being in person with customers is a whole different experience. Doing the podcast with y'all in person is a whole different experience. It's so nice. I'm going to love doing it either way, but it's just great being with y'all. Did you have to ask for it or did you just open the conversation with your boss that was like, hey, I'm feeling like I'm not doing my best work. Can we come up with a solution together or did you just fly to ask, I need to be part-time?
00:09:25
Speaker
I think it was just one day we were having a conversation and I admitted defeat, honestly. I told her I was struggling and I said, look, I don't have another job option. I'm not telling you that I'm leaving you, but I'm going to have to quit. Like I can't sustain what we're trying to do here.
00:09:48
Speaker
I don't feel like it's fair for what I'm giving you, and I don't feel like it's fair for what you're asking in a way. Even though it was my job, I just couldn't keep up anymore. This is where I say my company's so nice. I never in a thousand years would have expected her to come back and be like, how would you feel about being part-time? I thought she was just going to straight up be like, all right, nice to know you. I get it. I'm so sorry, but she came up with a way to keep me.
00:10:18
Speaker
Wow, that is so nice. She had only been my boss for a year at that point, so it's not like we had a ton of stuff beneath us. Really, three months of that you were on maternity leave. It just was like a wow moment, I guess. I still thank her to this day for letting me do that and staying with a company I really like. I feel like myself included, a lot of people are afraid to ask for that as an option.
00:10:47
Speaker
I didn't think it would be, but I'm so glad it was. From an employer's perspective, what is easier to keep somebody on who already knows what they're doing, who's been with the company for 10 years, who's reliable, or find somebody new. Go through the whole rigmarole of hiring, which nobody, onboarding, getting someone new set up in the system.
00:11:09
Speaker
So I feel like employers are willing to do it if you're a good employee. It's just being brave enough to ask or vulnerable enough. Yeah, they came up with another position to one that would travel in my place. And she's amazing too. And so we're just all spread out over the East Coast. And yeah, we're making it work. I do a lot of the back-end work now. I don't think my day-to-day has changed at all.
00:11:36
Speaker
If anything, I actually did just add hours back because we are so busy
Emotional Transition to Daycare
00:11:40
Speaker
and I'm thankful for that. And Graydon's in daycare now. Yes. That took a lot off my plate. Yeah, which was my next question. What was that like finally getting him into daycare, talking to me about that? Because that's foreign to me. Alice hasn't been to a school or to daycare.
00:12:00
Speaker
It's on the list for coming soon to a theater near you. I was going to take care. But I want to hear a little bit about that and then having to focus on work while you know your child's being taken care of by someone else.
00:12:15
Speaker
It is the craziest feeling. The agony you first feel leaving your child at a preschool where there's seven other kids in the class. Yeah. He's not the center of the attention anymore. You don't know. You're like, are you OK? And I mean, he was grand. He was older. He was nine months old. So I mean, I feel like that was an advantage. I didn't have to drop him off like a lot of people do right at three months or four months.
00:12:41
Speaker
He was sitting up, I felt better about him having neck control and all of that, but it's agony driving away for the first time and then being in your car alone, which is fun, right? We all agree on that. Now it's fun. Yeah. Heaven. I remember crying, but also being like,
00:12:59
Speaker
what do I do with myself for the first time in so long? I just was like, what's the first thing I want to do? Do I schedule a workout because I hadn't been able to do that? You really do hone in on your work because you're like, this is the first time I've had to concentrate and you really knock it out so much faster knowing that you have that amount of time to do that.
00:13:21
Speaker
That was gonna be my next question and I don't wanna get like two in the weeds here, but sometimes I feel like if I truly set myself a part-time schedule, I could get the same amount of work done. Do you feel that way? Yes. I think any person that's remote feels that way. Yeah.
00:13:36
Speaker
You kind of catch yourself like, I'm going to dabble in a little laundry. Right. And then you have a customer call and you work on that for an hour or so. And then you're kind of like, all right, I've hit a dead zone again. I can clean the kitchen. I don't know. It's just little things like that that I don't know. You discover while you're remote, which I'm sure you do. Yeah, yeah, for sure. But.
00:13:55
Speaker
It's also so easy when you don't have a child. I mean, you just have so much free time. You have no idea how much free time you have. If you are pregnant right now, you have so much free time. And do you hate hearing that when you were pregnant? I hated it. I was like, I'm ready. Don't tell me. So yeah, it's annoying to be here.
00:14:15
Speaker
Yeah, then you're like ready for it. No, but for real. Then all of a sudden your plate is full, full, full. You know what I'm guilty of is I, whenever people are like, I'm tired of this and they don't have kids, I'm like, you're so selfish. I know. This is not horrible, but I'm like, you have no idea. I definitely have moments of that. And then I pull it back and I'm like, everyone's just living their truth. Okay. So true. It's
Changing Free Time Post-Children
00:14:40
Speaker
how it's created. Oh, sorry. No, I was going to say maybe they drank all night, which I used to do. So.
00:14:45
Speaker
That's the next episode. How is great in doing now with daycare? Loves it. Squeals with joy pulling up. I call it school and I'm like, we're at school. And he's like, yeah, he doesn't talk like that yet. But he truly loves it. He's thriving. I was telling them that I'm like,
00:15:03
Speaker
impressed because he's not even a year and a half and he knows how to line up at the door and sing all these songs and sits at the table, which he will not do at my house. I'm like, how are y'all getting him to do this? It's just amazing how fast they learn and I am appreciative for having it and feeling safe with him there now and knowing that he loves it. It just took getting over that little hurdle of the beginning.
00:15:31
Speaker
and you feel like your work has been better since? Oh my gosh, yes, 100 percent. And I mean, that is what my end of the year review was about, was that I came leaps and bounds from where I was. I just think I was in a tough, tough place. And I've said, I think like the first five to eight months, you're still figuring yourself out after having a baby. Oh, for sure.
00:15:52
Speaker
And I mean, like what you said, by 10 months, you felt like you were in your groove. It's kind of like that, like by the end of the year, maybe the middle of last year, I was like, I'm in my groove again. I'm back. And this is why maternity leave should be like at least 10 months to a year because you don't feel normal until then. At least most people I talk to say anywhere between eight to 10 months, they start to feel like semi with it. I would say.
00:16:18
Speaker
up until eight months, it's like every month or two are different. They're changing so fast. There's regressions, their naps change, what they eat changes, how you feed them changes, like move differently. It's just so fast that first year that you're always kind of reacting. And I feel like around 10 months, things start to standardize a little bit.
00:16:42
Speaker
You know what relief I felt from daycare was all of the responsibility kind of fell off of me. Like the milestones they were supposed to hit or the number of naps or whatever, it kind of fell into their hands and I was like, wait, this is nice. Like I'm not having to worry about all of that anymore. I'm like, well, daycare takes care of that.
00:17:04
Speaker
Yeah, I had no idea daycare will do that. Yeah, I mean, it's just that part was nice. I mean, there are definitely pros and cons, like the constant sickness that I tell you guys about, and just it's out of this world expensive. And for the sanity of my life, we just chose not to do nanny because I am work from home, and I do like to mosey around my house and not feel so trapped in my room. Plus, I think
00:17:31
Speaker
Now that Graydon is walking, he'd find me. He'd find me. He'd be banging on my door like crazy. He'd be screaming in the background of your podcast. Shut up, TJ. TJ wants to make himself known. He is here. He sounds like a gremlin.
00:17:47
Speaker
Yeah. He's a boy. Yeah. Yeah. Boy life. But yeah, I mean, I just the nanny the nanny route was not my first choice. I needed to be. Well, yeah, because you work from home, I was a full time nanny for past life. And I've also nannied for people who work from home. And it's a lot harder from the nanny's point of view to you feel like you have to tiptoe around. You feel like
00:18:15
Speaker
I think you did the right thing and you have to do what works for your life and
Daycare Drop-Off Tips for Parents
00:18:20
Speaker
your lifestyle. It's nice for me to get out of the house and have that car ride home. I get in the groove and I'm like, all right, out of mom mode for a little bit, I'm driving, I'm listening to some tones, and then I go to work. It's fun. Have you made any friends from daycare?
00:18:38
Speaker
There are people I know that go there, but they're in different classes. It's a little strict. They are like, come in, drop off, do not cause chaos because the kids will cry. So they kind of teach you to be like- What, do people come in and have fist fights or something? I come in and punt grading into class. I'm like, see you toots and I'm out of there.
00:19:02
Speaker
No, they kind of want you in and out, which I totally get because a lot of kids are so upset. A lot of them go part time. They're not there all the time. So when they get dropped off, they're sad and you just don't want to cause a ruckus. Yeah, I would love to. There's kids that Graydon likes a lot. I'm like, man, we should hang out with their parents.
Advice for Corporate Moms
00:19:20
Speaker
I bet they're cool. We just haven't.
00:19:22
Speaker
Okay, so my last question to you is for the corporate moms out there who are feeling like overwhelmed or there's a lot of people I know that are new moms that are on daycare waiting lists, like what's your advice? Like do you encourage them to open the dialogue with their, what's your advice?
00:19:43
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I guess it totally depends on your relationship with your boss and what you feel comfortable about doing. I feel like for me, it honestly was just word vomit having that conversation, but it felt natural and right that I could honestly and openly tell her how I felt. She is also a mom with little kids. So it was like, look, I'm struggling.
00:20:05
Speaker
Help me. A lot of people might not have that situation, but I think any kind of open communication is going to serve you well. If it is the end or I don't want to say demise of that career, then maybe that isn't the right path. You will find happiness like what you said when you thought your career was over and then something new opened up even better.
00:20:33
Speaker
Things happen for a reason. I know I was going to say I'm really going to become like the woo woo person of this podcast, but the universe gives you everything you need. I really like believe that. And I feel like gave me what I needed, even though it's felt very scary and crazy. And I do think everything you end up where you're supposed to be. What is the saying? If it doesn't scare you, then you're not growing. Yeah. So we grow here with this podcast. I'm growing.
00:20:59
Speaker
We had a little woo woo to us. Just everybody. I can't help it. It's good. Yeah, it's good. I love your manifesting. Thank you. Next episode, I will guide you through a guided meditation. No, I'm just kidding. But if you guys want that, let me know in the comments. Yeah, I remember when you told us that you finally decided to go part time, I was so just happy for you. I think that's what a lot of people want.
00:21:27
Speaker
Yeah. Cause they don't want to completely leave their careers, but they're scared to ask for part time or they're, you know, I think it's going to be a step back, but you're doing the same job. Yeah. I mean, I, I really do feel like I fell in a very lucky situation and some people might not have that, but
00:21:47
Speaker
If you if you have the means to go part time, it just was a healthy split to get off work early, spend the afternoons with my child, which which is my number one priority. OK, one logistical question because you just said spend the afternoons. Is that how it works? You work from like nine to noon every day or how does the part time work?
00:22:07
Speaker
Yep. So I am eight to two. I was just telling Shannon, I would pick him up at two, but it's playground time and he loves the playground. So now I'm having to wait to go pick him up and like, don't want to interrupt your fun. So yeah, I usually pick him up at three and then just spend the rest of the day with him. Um, and we stand by the window and wait for dad to come home.
00:22:30
Speaker
That's cute. Thank you. That's really cute. He loves his dad. I love it. Oh, amazing. Well, thanks for sharing your perspective. Thank you. Part-time queen, part-time queen, part-time marketing, full-time queen. Oh, is that my new slogan?
Conclusion and Social Media Call-to-Action
00:22:50
Speaker
You need a sweatshirt that says it. Yeah. Well, thank you guys. Amazing. Love you guys. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.