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Episode 31 - ADHD Stimming
95 Plays2 years ago
Paul and Martin (co-Mayors of ADHDville) chat about Stimming! It's that thing us people with Adult ADHD do when we're anxious. We fiddle, play with pens, tap our feet and even do noises from cartoons. What a fun bunch we are!
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See our beautiful faces on YouTube
Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember:
This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
TikTok and Dental Hygiene Journey
00:00:00
Speaker
Let's do it. We're back in the room. All right. Back in the room. Everyone, if you've been on TikTok, if you've been following us on TikTok, you should. I just put up an episode, a TikTok thingy of my trip to the dentist. Now, this follows on from
00:00:26
Speaker
the fact that I found a system that worked so I could brush my teeth several times a day, which was, so I've had real problems with regular teeth cleaning. Every time I went into the bathroom, I brushed my teeth without exception and I actually ended up brushing my teeth about twice a day.
00:00:53
Speaker
I'm on a three monthly hygiene schedule schedule at my dentist place. So I've been consistently brushing my teeth several times a day from the last visit to this visit. So I went to the dentist to see whether it made a difference and how much of a difference it made, if at all.
00:01:22
Speaker
So I went, I mean, it was still tough. I mean, you go and check out one tick tock. It was tough. I mean, we were talking to Michael recently about how tough going to the dentist is. And at which point I've got a confession. I've got a confession.
00:01:43
Speaker
Right. Go on. Step into the booth. It's the booth. I've been living in Italy. What better place to, better country to live in to go into confessional. I've been to the, I have not been to the dentist for 38 years. I might have to take my glasses off and clean them because that's, that's how shocked myself that I'll go to the dentist when I damn well need to. And I haven't up to now.
00:02:14
Speaker
I've convinced myself of that. I've convinced myself of that lie. Right, that generally regular checkups are like... Yeah, I don't know what toothache feels like. I am really lucky. I'm an ADHDer that is shit scared or going to the dentist, problems with personal hygiene, but luckily I have really, really strong teeth and don't know what toothache feels like. I've never had it.
00:02:44
Speaker
Never had problems. I think Tutankhamun died of his teeth. I think that's what got him. Did he? In the end. Did he? Did he? Did he? Did he? Yeah. That's what got him in the end. And you know what? It makes me think, because I've got fairly okay teeth. Is that I'm thinking natural.
00:03:11
Speaker
selection. Bear with me with this one, right? I'm thinking, if you've got ADHD and going back in history and your teeth high and you don't really look after your teeth, I guess, who did back then, but if you were worse than anyone else, then you generally
00:03:28
Speaker
You generally like to come in, you'd end up with an abscess and then you just die off, right? So I'm thinking
Surprising Dentist Visit and Oral Health Gadgets
00:03:36
Speaker
maybe, this is a fresh hypothesis, is that... The freshest guide. Right. Is that people with ADHD end up, the ones who survive and have kids are the ones who've got fairly good teeth.
00:03:55
Speaker
Because all the others have died out. Total nonsense, but I love it. I do brush my teeth quite regularly. You know, it's not a complete disaster.
00:04:07
Speaker
Right. Because in the end, I do actually like the sensation of having, you know, having just cleaned my teeth. I love that sensation. I like it. So I have this have this system. I've got I went to the dentist yesterday. She said it's like night and day. She said I had to check my notes that I was looking at the same person. She said. Right. And you said how could you forget this face? How could you forget that face? Beautiful.
00:04:35
Speaker
Beautiful face. So she was kind of shocked. So when I went in there, she said, have there been any changes? I went, no.
00:04:51
Speaker
So because what I wanted her to do was to was to kind of go around my teeth and then afterwards I said, so did you notice any difference? She said, yeah, yeah. And then so she was pleased. And then at the end of it, I mean, it was it was a horrendous experience, but she said, yeah, yeah, you're doing the right thing. In fact, she was more concerned that I was brushing my teeth too much.
00:05:21
Speaker
now because she was like, how much toothpaste do you put on? Because it can wear down the enamel. And I was like, oh, about the size of pee. And she said, no, no, it has to be about the size of a rice of grain.
00:05:42
Speaker
Really? Yeah. That's not obviously what the toothpaste manufacturers, they're just like, yeah, just spread it on there. No, no. Small amounts. Hardly any. Yeah. Hardly any. A rice grain. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. So an ordinary toothpaste. This is like, this is like, you know, we often start our podcast with these cliffhanger kind of
00:06:11
Speaker
moments. So, okay. So in theory, a toothpaste, a tube of toothpaste should last like six months. Right. So this is if you're brushing your teeth like two or three times a day. Right. So the next, so, boyed on by this dental triumph. Boyed on. Yeah. I've got an electric flossing machine.
00:06:41
Speaker
A what? An electric flossing machine, which over here would be called a water pick. So basically it's like a little machine when you put water in it and it has a little, it squirts out water at a high velocity and you kind of go right in your teeth with this thing. Really?
00:07:09
Speaker
That sounds amazing, actually. For the next... High pressure water. Because I don't
Introduction to ADHD Podcast
00:07:16
Speaker
like the floss. I don't like the string stuff. No, I didn't like the string stuff. It feels totally ridiculous to me. But you can do it with high pressure water. Yeah. Well, the same machine you clean your driveway with.
00:07:31
Speaker
Yes. It's, it's like a little mini high pressure water thing that you clean the driveway with, but a little miniature one. Yeah. Just clean the moss off your teeth. Yeah.
00:07:47
Speaker
Basically. So I usually go every three months for it, but she said, well, if you keep this up, I don't have to see you for six months. In six months time, we'll have another podcast about this. All right. And we've boyed on yet again. Right. The important takeaway here.
00:08:09
Speaker
is that your health is important and if you can find a system for it to improve it, it's worthwhile. The reactions were really positive. Shall we boy on to the intro music? Absolutely. Let's welcome you to ADHDville. Longest
Understanding ADHD Stimming Behaviors
00:08:32
Speaker
intro ever. Sorry.
00:08:56
Speaker
Hello everyone, I'm Paul Thompson. I was formally invited four months ago into the ample and generous bosom that is the neurodivergent community. At the sprightly age of 56,
00:09:09
Speaker
with ever decreasing resistance to gravitational forces.
00:09:27
Speaker
Martin Weston, I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2013, quite a while ago. Okay. All right. So we're just two mates who, by coincidence or not, after 39 years of friendship, discovered that we're both ADHD-ers. Okay. Hurrah. Hurrah.
00:09:47
Speaker
Now, it's really important to say that this is an entertainment podcast about adult ADHD and does not substitute in any way, shape or form for individualized advice from qualified health professionals. No, no, no. So don't take any advice from us.
00:10:06
Speaker
We're just here at a kind of all-inclusive ADHD park bench with room for everyone, including your doppelgangers, your alter egos, your body doubles, your chaperones in your best buddies. Still here? Great. Grab your jetpacks, your petalos, your space hoppers, or any other transportation methods.
00:10:26
Speaker
And let us take you to ADHDville, an imaginary town that we've created in our minds, where we like to explore different parts of the A, the D and the H and another D.
00:10:40
Speaker
Lovely. We start off as always here at the Town Hall in the Mayor's Office where we the joint mayors of ADHD will take care of business. And I'm looking at the agenda and there's just one item on this week's list. It's where we're talking about all things ADHD stimming.
00:11:07
Speaker
Stimming. I don't even like the word. I don't like the word. Stimming. Oh. I don't like the word, Paul. Do you have... Talk about words, Martin. Don't worry. It's just me and you. No one else is listening. Okay. That's true. Do you have certain words? Oh, I just realised. It's very similar. I have a problem with a certain word and my son always makes fun of me about it. Trimmings.
00:11:38
Speaker
Yeah, I have a problem with the word trimmings. It really winds me up. I have no idea why, but it does.
00:11:48
Speaker
It's like someone says, Oh, why don't we have a nice like, um, beef roast dinner with all the trimmings? I'm already out the door. You know, I'm like, I show a clean pair of heels. How do you feel about the American version? Which is, uh, how about a, a, um, a beef meal with all the fixings?
00:12:16
Speaker
You're kidding me. Fixing. That's a bathroom. It's like fixtures and fittings. That's a bathroom, fixtures and fittings. I love a hot dog with all the fixings. So the fixings. Right. Because obviously the thing that you were going to eat is useless and is busted and it needs fixing.
00:12:45
Speaker
with uh and he's fixing with ketchup or mustard or onions or whatever yeah there we go okay there you go all right so we're gonna talk about steaming and we're gonna head over to uh where are we heading Paul where are we going where are we going to the farm
00:13:09
Speaker
It's a bit muddy at the moment for this time of year, but we'll put the wellies on. I think we've got wellies in the boot of the car. Yeah, we've got boots in the trunk of the automobile. Let's jump into our... Your wellies are the same pattern as your swimming cap, just so they match.
00:13:31
Speaker
I know. Well, you know, I do like a fun welly. All right, let's jump in the car and head over to the farm. Here we go. Oh. OK. Oh, so. Oh.
00:13:59
Speaker
There we go. Just breathing that nice farm air. When I was, I visited James Farm a couple of weeks back. Had that unmistakable farm smell.
00:14:16
Speaker
that I just love that, love that, love that. Do you know what I really love when I travel back to old Blighty? I feel really, the thing I like most is the plane it comes, you hop over from France, you go over the channel, you see the coast, and then you see that the way the farms and the countryside is laid out is uniquely British with the head rose.
00:14:44
Speaker
All of the farms are like organizing squares and rectangles. It's probably got something to do with my ADHD mind. Whereas in England, it's completely chaotic. You know, the farms are built around the filter based around ancient pathways and things. Right. So they're naturally formed. Love that. All right. I love that anyway. What do you mean?
00:15:12
Speaker
shall i read this we've got a we've got a bit of a description up here martin it says relax yeah just chill just chillax ADHD stimming okay in brackets self-stimulatory stimulatory behavior is when a person with attention deficit hyperactivity just hyperactive
00:15:35
Speaker
Tivity disorder unconsciously repeats certain movements or sounds. Some ADHD stimming examples include humming, pacing, teeth grinding and rocking, though there are many, many others which we will explore.
00:15:50
Speaker
So many. The reasons for stigma can vary depending on the person and their environment. It's thought that in ADHD, these behaviours may come from a need to improve or regulate focus, self-soothe or channel energy. It's kind of interesting, isn't it, already? Right, so it's all those little physical things that you do, right? It's all those little kind of, you know, all vocal things.
00:16:19
Speaker
yeah yeah yeah because it's to me i've always i think of it as like it's like an extension of nervous energy that i have and it has like exudes it kind of like it's like oozes out of me at some point right yeah so uh there are some examples right in ADHD uh that are grouped together by type i believe that's right martin have you got a list i might have might have a small script
00:16:50
Speaker
that you sent me earlier yeah i'm reading okay so first but what the bullet pointed one yeah okay yeah the first one we got what five
00:17:04
Speaker
I think, yeah. Visual. Visual, so zoning out, spinning in brackets, spinning objects like coins or fidget toys, pacing or doodling, okay? Okay, so that's a visual zoning out, right, okay. Yeah, but it can also be verbal or auditory, giggling, singing, making repetitive sounds, excessive and excessive throat clearing.
00:17:34
Speaker
um yeah all right got that so then it could be tactile or touch nail biting scratching hair pulling i've put that one in bold because i'm going to talk about it later a bit embarrassing but anyway i'm going to talk about anyway or hair twirling chewing the inside of your cheeks and not anyone else's it'd be your own cheek i suspect teeth grinding sexy time sexy time
00:18:03
Speaker
Stop it. Sorry about it, because I'm going to lose it. I'm really tired. No, don't stop it. Teeth grinding. Rubbing fingers. Yeah. I'm going to look all over the place this evening. Rubbing fingers. Okay.
Positive and Negative Stimming Expressions
00:18:18
Speaker
Presumably your own. And there's also vestibular, which is balance based. So it could be rocking, spinning and shaking of the head.
00:18:30
Speaker
Martin, somewhat controversially, I say controversially, maybe not for our listeners, smell. I've never heard of stimming being related to smell. You're going to change my mind. Well, this is so smelling can help calm people's nerves. It often involves sniffing items that have a particular scent. For example, this might be the smell of perfume, your loved ones,
00:19:00
Speaker
or the familiar scent of freshly washed clothing. Now, this one ticked a little box for me because I find myself, I will smell the back of my hand for no reason other than it's like a little stim that I have.
00:19:30
Speaker
I don't know why. So there's some examples by group. I'm going to find out some stuff again aren't I? That's all this is. This is finding out stuff.
00:19:50
Speaker
Yeah. Finding out stuff. Digging it up. Yeah. I think the important thing for a podcast or whatever is, or when you're discussing it with your friends is you have to like, you have to dig a bit, right? You have to... Yeah.
00:20:07
Speaker
It feels like ADHD should have its official digger. Like a big-ass digger that you could just, like, rent for the day. Yeah. Tell them where to dig. Just go and dig over there, mate. Well, that's why we're on the farm, right? Because we can get the tractor to kind of dig some stuff out of us. Exactly. All right, so you have a small list.
00:20:36
Speaker
I do. You need Martin. You need pigs for that. Yeah, apparently.
00:20:43
Speaker
Yeah, I had a neighbor once that had a dog specifically trained for sniffing out truffles. I had a place in the Tuscan hills. And yeah, it's not very nice though. They don't feed their dogs for like two weeks. So it's really quite unpleasant. Yeah, it's not nice at all. Anyway, so I've got me stimming.
00:21:10
Speaker
Ooh, I've not talked about this one on air before, in the room, or whatever you want to call it. I'm just, he says, just delaying this moment for myself. I pull my hair, I pull my beard, I pull my beard like a total bitch, and it's horrendous. And I can't, I'm totally not in control of it. At a certain point, I have to shave off my beard because it's like, enough! Can't handle it anymore!
00:21:40
Speaker
And I've pulled out so much of my beard that is getting patchy and not in control of it at all. No control. I have. So I will pull. So if I find if I'm stressed, if I'm going through a stressful period, I will pick the hairs on my eyebrows.
00:22:01
Speaker
Not so much the bid. And I can always tell, if I look at myself in the mirror and I've got some long eyebrow hairs, I'm like, oh, I must be going through a fairly stress-free patch. As my grandmother used to say, it was a phrase you were going through. Yeah, it was a nice phrase I was going through. All right, so we've got hair pulling.
00:22:28
Speaker
Yeah, but I used to do heavily from my head from a heat as well. I used to have stopped strangely Okay, I moved on to the beard All right. Yeah. Yeah, it's much better pickings clearly It's quite literally Lower hanging fruit literally lower hanging fruit
00:22:49
Speaker
And you might find a bit of lunch in there as well, which is a bit of a bonus. Exactly. It is a bonus. Depends how good your lunch is. But then what I said, I used to to stop my knee from bouncing at school. This is like to masking. I used to sit on my leg so knee would bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, if I would let it.
00:23:14
Speaker
Yeah, and that's cool. That's not good. You know, it's like, no, no, it's like suppressing all my masking energy was, was, you know, spent on suppressing all of that kind of stuff.
00:23:26
Speaker
Yeah. I know that my, my wife, if she gets tired in the evening, so we didn't get in the evening, like her, her legs starts to kind of bounce around and then it's like, yeah, you're, you're tired now. Right. Okay. Yeah. I think you're right though. Just like my beard pulling kind of shows up when I'm kind of stressed or tired or both.
00:23:52
Speaker
Yeah, no, I think that's that's like, you know, like how we say that we're sometimes not very good at telling what our own internal
00:24:04
Speaker
emotions are, right? That we can't really tell how we feel some of the times. So things like stimming are a very good way to kind of tell what is going on inside. So I find, yeah, that if I'm pulling my eyebrows, for example, I know that I'm very stressed.
00:24:33
Speaker
I know that I'm stressed when I've got a pretty much one-sided beard. Because I'm quite a strong emphasis on this side. Right. Yeah, and sometimes I have to even up on this side. Okay. Having a shave. Right. It's actually true. That wasn't just for comic effect. No, no, no, no. I get it. I think it's... Well, because I'm right-handed, so it makes sense.
00:25:00
Speaker
Right I was gonna say because I have the same thing with my eyebrows and it tends to be um yeah my right yeah because I'm right right-handed so my my left eyebrow gets gets the gets the brunt of it.
00:25:20
Speaker
the brunt of it. Okay. Okay, so then what else have I got here? I've got when I'm on the phone, I paste the room, like nobody's business, I cannot sit still. When I'm on the phone. It's really, really hard for me to sit and be on the phone to someone. I literally pace up and down the room. Yeah.
00:25:44
Speaker
Yeah, no, I mean, I find that when I was giving presentations in the room, it was way better if I stood up and did it so I could walk around and that felt a lot better for me, kind of kept my anxiety down. Also in
00:26:10
Speaker
in the meetings, I doodle in my notepad so that I can concentrate on what other people are saying. And I can remember my boss was like, she could see me doing it and she was like, stop that. And she was annoyed because she thought that
00:26:39
Speaker
that I was doing it because I wasn't paying attention when actually I was, in order to pay attention to her, I had to doodle so that part of my brain was kept occupied. The crazy part of my brain was kind of occupied doing these little scribbles and I could actually pay attention to her. Yeah, yeah.
00:27:07
Speaker
Yeah, I tend to avoid it. I tend to avoid it. Martin, when I'm talking, the sound, it's not like yours is much more violent. You've seen your sound wave. You've got a much more violent sound wave, Martin. Anyway, I just hope it's recording properly. Yeah, no, when I look, yours is much more violent than mine.
00:27:35
Speaker
Oh, okay, it's just something. Anyway, okay. Yeah, so I tend to... I'm so overly conscious about people pleasing and not kind of like showing up. I kind of stop myself doodling, even though the temptation is huge. It's huge. It's huge. How about you, Martin? Have you got any stimming particulars?
00:28:05
Speaker
I've kind of been through a bunch. Obviously there's some classics like I like to have a pen in my hand when I'm talking. So here we go. We both have a pen. That's kind of nice. Do you remember last week you said to me that there's a constant clicking noise.
00:28:30
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And it's like, what? And I said, No, I don't do that. And he said, Paul, Paul, mate, it's like, because Martin, he does puts the edits together, he said, there's constant clicking through all of the podcasts. And I looked down and said, Oh, yeah, I do that. I actually do that clicking constantly with the tops of the pens.
00:28:56
Speaker
right yeah like all of my all of my sharpies i don't know what i'm just holding up to the camera but you know you know it has this little oh yeah on the pan cap it has this little piece of plastic that that you're supposed to use to kind of see you could you could put it on your belt i don't know what is it like you're supposed to put it in your oh you're supposed to put it in your in your breast pocket right it's like a little clip right right
00:29:24
Speaker
You know what, I'm not thinking like, it'd be great if we had a belt that was just full of harpies of all, you know, from fat to thin. So I was always prepared. But they're organised as well, I think. Yeah, of course. Well, they start out the day as organised and they get to chaos. But the little pain clip of this is broken off because I'll just play with it and then it'll break at some point. And the other
Managing Stimming and Self-awareness
00:29:53
Speaker
embarrassing thing is is is when I was in a meeting I'd be playing with the pen and then the pen shoots off right he's just like twirling it and then it kind of goes okay and if it flies out your hand onto the floor okay oh christ my phone okay pens on the floor now we're gonna have to like dig around under the desk yeah one's watching me to retrieve my pen for the 20th time. Are you a nail biter?
00:30:23
Speaker
I used to be not so much now, but yeah. Are you a fire starter, a twisted fire starter? Is there any other kind? No, I don't bite my nails either. In fact, I've had girlfriends actually, it's actually annoyed them that I have long, not long, they never get particularly long, but sometimes I've like fairly long nails just because I don't bite them.
00:30:51
Speaker
Some people it's a problem, apparently. Always with long nails. Yes, I think there's all kinds of different stimming, right? And some of it, when you kind of get more into the autistic side, you get from level one, two and three, the stimming part is more
00:31:18
Speaker
Uh, what do you call it? It's kind of more obvious. That would be like lots of sort of hand waving, flapping. Right. I think is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is a classic stuff. And then, and then it's, it's.
00:31:34
Speaker
There's a whole bunch which is like semi-socially acceptable, I guess. And then there's some that if you start happily stimming and it's quite obvious, then you're out in public and then people start to go like, look, what the hell was that?
00:31:50
Speaker
Because you know, it's really funny because I started teaching last week and I was teaching today actually and I was noticing some of the students they're like, they're like, I've really noticed like, oh, stimming going on all over the place in the class, bouncing knees, you know, especially if I go up to them, you know, I'm teaching, I teach them conversation English.
00:32:16
Speaker
And so they're a bit nervous, you know, it's like, oh, you know, they've like put on the spot and say, oh, let's talk about.
00:32:24
Speaker
What was it today? Oh, we talked about how, what was it we talked about? Oh, I've got them to introduce themselves, because they're kind of new to each other. And yeah, so it's really funny. And there's one girl who's off the charts. Off the charts is really, really, really fascinating to see, to watch, knowing what I know now about stimming.
00:32:50
Speaker
I used to hate in meetings when someone would go, let's go around the table and introduce ourselves. I hate this. It's coming round to me. It's coming round to me. Oh, no, it's me. Oh, the spotlight's on me. I've done it 14 times this week.
00:33:14
Speaker
I've introduced myself to my students 14 times and it gets it's yes it's yeah I'm done with that now it's like okay enough so I mean like there is you know like so there is happy stimming right so there's like well yes yes cool happy stimming hmm
00:33:39
Speaker
You have people with ADHD may also engage in happy stimming, this type of stimming done to express happiness rather than as a way to improve focus or impulse control.
00:33:51
Speaker
Yeah. So I guess this is like, right, happy, happy stimming. Yeah, I'll cuff you. All right. Hit me with your stimming stick. Well, you might be, you might be familiar with this, having, you know, worked with each other and stuff. I do, okay, castanets. I do this. It's a bit of a visual thing. Sorry, if you're not watching this on YouTube. It looks like you're playing castanets.
00:34:22
Speaker
Alright. I'll do that. Then I'll do hand farting. I'll go... And then I'll do hand popping. I'll do...
00:34:35
Speaker
Oh, wow. And people used to say to me, Paul, are you autistic? We're going back 30 years. Paul, are you autistic? And generally, I do these things when they're happy things. Usually, because I mean, as Martin is the same, I mean, I mean, the creative business. If I just found an idea, I was really happy with it. So preparing a presentation to a client, and I found an idea and I've put it down.
00:35:04
Speaker
And I would get up and I would generally do one of those three things. Amazing. And people would look at me like, what the hell is going on with Paul?
00:35:16
Speaker
Yeah, right. Happy. Yeah, no. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, like it's the the important thing is that it is just to remind ourselves that it it it's self regulation, right. It it it can get rid of anxiety or it can write or energy. So it's it's it's important to kind of find
00:35:42
Speaker
what sort of stimming you do and can you do it with the people you're with or or in the environment that you're in and and it's just a kind of good to kind of uh you know where you can do it and you feel happy and you're safe too you you should because it comes just it just lets off all all of that yeah negative stuff and and it's just it's actually quite important i'm just trying to think what you see
00:36:10
Speaker
Usually I do one of those three things when I've come out the other side of a tunnel of like hyper focus. So that thing that works. Yeah, exactly that. Yeah, because you've got this kind of nervous excitement in you, right? It has to come out somehow. I've spent a few spoons.
00:36:31
Speaker
Right, you spend a few spoons and you're happy and you want to get... So, like, you know, happy dancing, you know, I do that quite a lot, you know, when there's... Do you? Yeah, like, when there's like... Can you give us a good sample? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. Have a little boogie in your seat or whatever. I know that some people, you know, will quite happily put on some music and just dance around the room.
00:37:00
Speaker
Lovely I sometimes do the t-rex arms All right in those situations, okay, it's like yeah All right that yeah, that sounds like a self is it is that when you're feeling anxious and you're kind of No, it's not the happy stim All right Yeah, cool. It's a happy t-rex All right
00:37:26
Speaker
All right, so I know that there's like big on TikTok is like stim, stim toys, right? Like they're everywhere. Like you see people with them. And they're all specific. You know, if you're like a hair puller like me, you can get a specific toy.
00:37:48
Speaker
for that, but also some other titles. Do they work? I guess we have to try them. I was going to say, this does sound like there should be a podcast episode where we do a bit of a round up review of what we do. I think what you mean is this is the point where we set each other homework and we completely ignore them or forget about them or both.
00:38:13
Speaker
Maybe, maybe, but we're trying to remember this conversation. But I gave my wife some for Christmas. It was like, it's called thinking putty, you know, so it's like a little squashy
00:38:34
Speaker
I don't remember that slime stuff, but it isn't slime, but it's quite, but she's been playing with that a lot. Like when she's in the meeting, she was squished that around. I did buy a fidget spinner when it came out. Like you remember when there were all the rage a good few years ago now. I never got on with it particularly.
00:39:01
Speaker
I had this little cube thing that had like on each side of the cube it had a lot of little sensory things that one had a bump and one was a clicker and you could just kind of play with that in your hands and that was okay for a while. I guess the Rubik's cube was a kind of stimming relief kind of thing.
00:39:22
Speaker
For some? Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a thing. Like the neural types going on there that are particularly good at those. Yeah. I don't know if they're kind of like... OK. But yeah, toys are obviously meant to help you out on certain types of stimming. Because there can be stimming that can either be harmful. If you're putting out a lot of hair, there are some people that have that... It's not something to be laughed about at all.
00:39:52
Speaker
I know we've been, you know, talking about the kind of humorous side of these things. Actually, for some it's not at all. So, you know, these toys could be they're more than toys that can actually really, really help people's lives, you know, like, like, I see people who have lost, you know, who lose one of their favorite little stim toys and, and, and it's, yeah, it's a big deal.
00:40:22
Speaker
yeah same with teeth grinding you know it can cost a hell of a lot of money oh yeah sort that kind of stuff out yeah and then you've got like you know some people pick this pick their skin um i know like i've had a patch on my tummy um for a while that i was picking out um yeah and that uh and that was
00:40:51
Speaker
uh and that wasn't good and then then then i ended up i actually went to the uk for a week and then i i i just stopped that's weird doing it and then it's all fine because i had i've had that i had a thing on my ankle and it just i was constantly picking at it
00:41:12
Speaker
god damn it and i think it was exactly the same i had like a an event like i was traveling somewhere uh forgot about it i was distracted i suppose in whatever
Personal Strategies and Supportive Podcasting
00:41:22
Speaker
i'd been doing and it's like oh you know resolved because it wasn't there anymore yeah right i definitely get the picking things
00:41:33
Speaker
Yes so there's some stimming that is, I hate that word, which is kind of harmless and there's some that actually does need attention because it can actually hurt you really. Yeah.
00:41:50
Speaker
But I wonder if, because last week we talked about masking, I wonder if for some people, I mean it'd be interesting to get people's feedback on this, if people start to unmask whether their stimming can become more pronounced, more obvious. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. Like that's probably one of the... But like really so, you know.
00:42:16
Speaker
Yeah, I think that the adult ADHD UK podcasts who are who are great, by the way, they're amazing. One of the reasons why I'm doing this podcast because they're kind of inspired, inspired us to kind of like, put our kind of kind of version kind of voice out there on our particular view approach to ADHD. They're great. But she the lovely lady in that Mrs. called Mrs. ADHD. She had her her
00:42:46
Speaker
Her steering is just off the scale. It's amazing to watch. Absolutely amazing. And she seems completely cool with it, which is great. Right. Yeah, no, no. Yeah, perfect. So I've got a couple of strategies here. So
00:43:11
Speaker
if your stimming kind of leads to physical injuries, then, you know, perhaps there's a couple of tips here from ADD.org that you could try. So one is schedule 10 minute movement breaks in between long tasks. So, you know, like that physical thing of getting up and
00:43:37
Speaker
but moving around, yeah, is important. You know, God, if you're in a two-hour meeting, that's like the worst. You know, like you're trapped in a room full of people. I don't miss meetings. Yeah. I do not miss meetings. Okay. Yeah, it's not stop me off the nose. All right. Okay. Yeah. Good. It's good. Yeah. Because it's a way of expending energy in some way.
00:44:08
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. I think that's one of the ones to be, yeah, that you can help. I don't really have much else. Apart from, yeah, you know, like if you feel like your stimming disrupts your daily life, then it's important to seek help, you know, and there is help out there online.
00:44:38
Speaker
I, yeah, I mean, there was, I made fun of bit about my, my beard and stuff. There was an element of shaming in that I must admit, like, oh, for God's sake, Paul, it was like, it feels like self harming. Yeah, before I got diagnosed, like, am I self harming? It's like, Paul, what the hell is that about? You know, what are you doing that for? Or self sabotaging? Like, oh, blimey. You know, overthinking it.
00:45:08
Speaker
Yeah, you know, because oh, yeah, my big one is is what the hell am I talking about? I just I just realized my my big one is is is I I suck my thumb. Uh huh. And I've done for my entire life. Right in the late 50s now and that's a way that I regulate
00:45:32
Speaker
myself and there's a lot of shame around that. There's a lot of shame around that, as you can probably guess. Where was I going with that, apart from just saying that? I was talking about shame, generally.
00:45:54
Speaker
No, you know, and oh, yeah, is this everyone would be and you probably attest to this. People will want to find a solution to the stim that you're doing.
00:46:12
Speaker
yeah right they will go right well you know what you should do see if you don't want to suck your thumb you should like paint your thumb in this horrible tasting stuff or whatever it was or um if you shut your thumb off you should you shouldn't pull your hair um perhaps what you should do is you know certain years or something else so that there'd be to try and find a solution to the stim where actually
00:46:39
Speaker
The real issue is the anxiety that is causing the stim. I sometimes put gloves on to stop it from, you know, it's ridiculous. Well, yeah, I mean, I mean, until you know what it is, you know, overthinking it, it's like, oh, Paul, what the hell, you know?
00:47:02
Speaker
I mean, sure, gloves might help just stopping it immediately from getting really worse, but actually that isn't the gloves will never be the solution, right? It's the underlying anxiety that you have to deal with.
00:47:19
Speaker
So what is going on there? So you have to look at like, what is going on in your life? Is there anxiety? Is there stuff that you're trying to avoid? Have you got enough sleep? No, there's all this stuff you have to look at.
00:47:35
Speaker
And then if you could start to deal with that, then you almost use your stimming and how it comes up as a way to work out, you know, are things improving? You know, do you feel less anxiety? Are you pulling out your hair less and my eyebrows not bald? You know, and you kind of use that as a way to kind of work out what is going on underneath the surface.
00:48:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's like we're saying sometimes on a podcast, we're not always about, you know, coming up with solutions about it. We're not that kind of podcast, not that kind of YouTube channel. It's not like we always have solutions for everyone. But, you know, we can
00:48:24
Speaker
You know, sometimes the thing to do is just at least start somewhere. You know, if it's something you would prefer not to do, start by, you know, you've already started along on the right road, you know, you've been maybe diagnosed or self-diagnosed. You gave it a name and you could like think about it from a caring place, which is always a good start. And sometimes it's more than enough to at least, you know, start, begin that.
00:48:53
Speaker
Yeah. I think it is like, I'm doing this thing. Is it helpful? Is it harmful? If it's harmless, then fine. If it's, if it's harming you, then, you know, take note of it and then you take note of it. What else is going on in your life so that you can kind of, is, does it, does it match up, you know, are you doing it more during when certain things happen? And then you can start to kind of work out what a solution might look like.
00:49:22
Speaker
Yeah.
Listener Engagement and Episode Conclusion
00:49:23
Speaker
It's like what you always say, Martin, at the end of the podcast, be fucking kind to yourselves. Oh, yeah. Sometimes it's more than enough. Oh, yeah. No. It's just really, it's really enough sometimes. Yeah, right. Because it's very easy, as you were saying earlier, to feel shame about it because it's a very outwardly facing thing so other people can see it and then you're thinking, right, well,
00:49:50
Speaker
Yeah. How are they judging me for having half a beard or sucking your thumb or you've got one eyebrow, you know, like all three. Right. Right. And you think, oh, God, they must think what a mess this this person is, you know. So but no, it's it's it's it's just a part of ADHD and and.
00:50:16
Speaker
yeah you know yeah deal with it in your own way just be you're right just just be kind to yourself all right well um i think that's a kind of good amount is there is there anything else you want to say before we jump i think that's great i think that's a good point to uh yeah i don't think we've got anything at the post office this this week martin yeah we do yeah we do oh yes we do let's jump yes we do let's jump in the cabin go
00:50:45
Speaker
uh yeah if you could uh not uh if we could just mind to we'll have to take our wellies off so we don't traipse mud into the into the oh yeah into the thing might be cool yeah all right especially because my girlfriend's just got a thing about mud all right so we're in the post office so it's it's it um says here that your feedback is is really vital to us course it is it is
00:51:14
Speaker
We read all of the comments and we might read yours out on a future podcast. Your contributions are very much welcome. Like this one, we've got one. We've actually got one this week.
00:51:35
Speaker
from Penny Smith from North Yorkshire, lovely lady. She's a really lovely lady. She just said really simply, I love your podcast.
00:51:46
Speaker
uh which is amazing absolutely and you can uh follow her on tiktok i think she's penny smith no oh nine sorry oh nine okay lovely lady and uh she's got she she puts up some really cool things on there on the on the tiktoks
00:52:08
Speaker
Absolutely. All right, so Let's it just remains for me to say ADHD Ville is delivered fresh every Tuesday from all purveyors of fine podcasts Please subscribe to the pod and rate us his most marvelous feel free to correspond at will in the comments wait There's more if you want to see how beautiful faces this ball this ball
00:52:31
Speaker
There is Sally Forth to the YouTube. And if you're seeing us on YouTube, you can listen to our beautiful voices on the regular podcast. And you can also email us at... Some voices are more beautiful than others, obviously.
00:52:48
Speaker
Right, yeah, not mine. Yeah, you can email us at ADHDville at gmail.com. Alright, so that just remains for us to dance our way out with a podcast, visit us on TikTok, YouTube, the cupboard of friends, Facebook, Instagram, but in the meantime, just be fucking kind to yourself. And I beseech you, fellow ADHDers, know thyself, sons of the hounds, come hither and get your flesh.
00:53:18
Speaker
There, says the mayor. That's that.