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Episode 134 - All Dogs Go To Heaven
19 Plays1 month ago
Surprise guest for all the true base-heads out there...
Find us everywhere: https://pods.to/znvp75e
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Transcript
Comparing Water Brands
00:00:23
Speaker
And we're back. Oh, yeah. that's Just like that. That's what we should. That's it. Just like old times. Cold open. Yeah. Cracking nice can of water. Yeah.
00:00:35
Speaker
I can't believe this is what is this what you buy for waters like on the regular. We asked you for like a pack of water. You brought in and like an pack of liquid death. It's water. Is it not? No, it is I'm just, is it more expensive? It seems like it'd be, it seems like it's actually more expensive. Well, no, actually like in comparison to price on like a single can is not that bad. Well, well, single can you bought it like a 12 pack?
00:00:56
Speaker
It was like $13.99 $13.
00:00:58
Speaker
Oh, you could get it like a 30 pack of water for like five bucks. Pulling spring sucks. No, no, it does not. Holy spring is horrible. You're wrong. Deer park is better.
00:01:09
Speaker
Deer Park's the same. It's not, but it comes from a different spring. comes from a different spring. Arrowhead, Deer Park, Ozarka, it's all the same fucking Saratoga Springs. Water is fantastic. like Yeah, it's that. That's it. All right, this upstairs here is to be a problem. I'm going to have to just sit like this the whole time. I can't look at you guys. I'm going to have to stay locked in here. Or you could just turn towards us a little bit and then stay there.
Recording Challenges
00:01:30
Speaker
Why? Why can't you go back and forth? Because it creaks. Okay. You didn't have another... do you mean, okay? I have another chair. The all authenticity of... You're going ease into this, Atticus. This is Mike the entire time. We're going have statements like this.
00:01:48
Speaker
I feel like Attica's going to have a lot to say about my commentary. Maybe. i'll try to I'll try to keep myself in check. No, no, no, no. I already ran off another co-host with my full behavior. know We're not there. We're not there. Don't worry. We're not there. Vic, if you could just do a squat the entire time.
00:02:06
Speaker
You need to wall sit.
00:02:10
Speaker
Are we going to clap back in once he comes back in? No, it's all
Podcast's Broad Reach
00:02:15
Speaker
it's all lined up right now. He'll just edit out this section. This is live. I know. Well, this isn't going to be in the... We're into 30 million American households. Isn't that crazy? I didn't know that we had that far of our reach, but I guess we do. we need TikTok clips have been doing well for you guys, yeah.
00:02:30
Speaker
Yeah, but really well. Reached a whole new market. yeah Now on the ABC Nightly News. That's right. Yeah, watch out. Good or bad, I don't know.
00:02:41
Speaker
Yeah, well...
00:02:44
Speaker
Better, I guess, to be alive and be on the news, right? Yeah, I guess I'd say so. That's one way to put it. One way to put Not going to jail. It's not mugshot or anything. At least we get to kind of... Not yet.
00:02:56
Speaker
Yeah. When you get out to 30 million people, it gets real easy. Yeah. ah Who got out to 30 million? Vic, did you know? No, hold on. Were you keeping up with the conversation, Mike? I was keeping up the whole time. He wasn't. Not the whole time.
00:03:09
Speaker
Checked out. He's already done with me. He's like, he's not even paying attention. Are you going to be good with that? looks like you're ready to play the piano. and mean, with a little cross. Then either way you can't lean back. What's the difference? You can lean back against the door. It'd be all right. No, this is you want me to sit on that and you sit on the couch? No, I'm cool.
00:03:27
Speaker
You want me to just sit on your lap? You can. Ooh, that's good. He's in lot position now. We'll see. I don't want to fuck with the chords right now. Yeah. Yeah, we'll save for later. You know what?
New Co-host Dynamics
00:03:35
Speaker
If we start dipping in terms of like content, then we may ask you that. We hit a low little bit. Yeah. As long as you know to do it for the gram, then. Remember do it for Divine?
00:03:45
Speaker
It never went away. it just went to Instagram or went on TikTok. Yeah, TikTok. YouTube Shorts. Yeah. Yong Shung Bao or however you say Red Note now. What's the status on the ban?
00:03:56
Speaker
On the TikTok ban? What do you mean? There's there's there is no ban. Yeah. I thought that was a 90-day extension. <unk> It's all their fucking 90 day extensions, man. It's it's fine.
00:04:07
Speaker
Trump's backing off. Once it's not like a topic, they're just going to fucking. Yeah. trump Trump's trying to wage war with the EU right now. So I think he's got bigger things on his mind. Trump cut out the middle man is trying to ban every Chinese fucking citizen from entering the country. Yeah. Yeah.
00:04:20
Speaker
I guess we're talking to him. Yeah. Well, we threw that out there. I don't know. we We can ease into it. Yeah. Mike, as the resident Republican of the show, you can go ahead and throw out your counterpoints to us at any time. You know, I would love to, but they won't be respected. So, you know, here's zero they will be heard with welcoming ears. Yeah. Right. Respected.
00:04:41
Speaker
Respected is a different story. It depends on the statement. That's exactly what I said. is It won't be respected. You guys will listen to it, but it's not going to be respected. We will respectfully listen. Yeah. But that doesn't mean that we're going to. You're just but adding words to make it that sound the same shit. I think we're saying exactly what you want us to say. I think you're saying completely different. What I'm saying is you'll listen.
00:05:01
Speaker
But you're saying you won't respect it. That's why I won't say it because I feel like it won't be respected. No, I think you're taking Say something better. yeah yeah yeah Do you think we disrespect you on this podcast? That's a great question. a hundred percent 100%.
00:05:16
Speaker
How? Yeah. I don't think that we're doing anything negative. When? When? all All the time. All the time. Yeah. You guys are bad. the You put me through the ringer last one. You guys put me through the ringer, man.
00:05:28
Speaker
Mike, we're just trying to... we're i don't want to hear. I don't want to hear what you're trying to do. you're you're You're here, right? You're up here, and we're just trying to bring you back down yeah a little bit to reality. Learn some humility.
00:05:41
Speaker
so So then I could be inferior to you guys. So you guys see and now now you're projecting now you're projecting because we were trying to keep us on. See what fucking happens every single week. No, I don't know if you're going to find a friend in this corner. I think the three of us are more aligned than than you and Atticus will ever be.
00:06:01
Speaker
You are. I'm not going to be associated with I see how you get treated. I'm not going to get out. It's my first day at school and there's a being picked on. I'm not going to go fucking pick them up. what That's where I'm talking on my back. Atticus and I are going to talk about hockey
Friendship and Banter
00:06:13
Speaker
in this corner. You guys go ahead and do your thing over there. No, we just want you to know that we're not we're not coming at this place from like a like a a dominance or like your inferior kind of way.
00:06:23
Speaker
We feel comfortable talking to you about these things because we're friends. That's why. We're not, we're, if I wasn't friends with you, I would absolutely brush it under the rug. I would go home and I would talk to, you know, anybody else about how much I don't like you, but that's not true.
00:06:39
Speaker
I'm saying it to your face without you. Separate group chats. Yeah. I like saying it to your face because I'm your friend and I want i want you to hear it. I don't know how to take that. like How do I take that? Well, how you take it is you give it back.
00:06:52
Speaker
Right. What are some weird things um that you don't like about Austin? Yep. Say it. See, I'm the type of guy is that like we're friends, so I'm not here for the flaws. Oh, bullshit. I'm here for us and the good that we bring out on each other. I'm trying to, you know, that's exactly it. Hold on. I'm trying to bring out the good in you. Do you think good in everyone brings clicks to this show?
00:07:17
Speaker
Oh, what you think we're doing this shift? We can bring out, right we're bringing out the good before the show. All right. It was all friendly. You brought sourdough. It was great. Yeah. right All right. Now it's time to go to war. The mics are hot, man.
00:07:29
Speaker
Mike's at home. You gotta, you gotta to bring it. Yeah. And it's like, okay, you guys watch Parks and Recreation? Yeah. yeah So it's like, Mike right now, I think, is in like the Jerry position. Yeah. If Mike left, there would be somebody that has to fill that board. It's how it works, It's always how that It's a little rotation. I mean, laundry in the basement is not...
00:07:48
Speaker
Yeah. There's no stranger to having someone in the Jerry position. It's a tried and true arrangement for a podcast. And like it can be hard to break out of that. So what you're saying is be a crutch. Don't get me wrong. You know, it's not the perfect way, but you got to build a a bit of a rapport and you got to build a little bit of a, of a back and forth.
00:08:08
Speaker
And you have to understand that no one's trying to hurt anyone's feelings here. Right. And and I will say that anyone in any given moment can be the Jerry, right? when i I've been the jury before in certain situations. I've been the jury when I'm around yeah some of the coolest people in the world when I'm hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio and Lewis Hamilton. I'm the clear Jerry. Yeah, I'm on that. Yeah, 100% me gonna. Me on the other hand, i've I've never been the Jerry, so I don't really know how that feels, but yeah didn't have to brag about it. No here Mike. Here's the thing. You have to make him the chair. You have to make me the Jerry.
00:08:42
Speaker
have to You have to fight back. But see, I'm not that kind of guy. Yes, you are. I'm not going to kick you while you're down. That right there proves why you're the Jerry. Yes, you are the Jerry. And you made it sound like, because you said that this show is no stranger to somebody in the Jerry position, that it sounds like I'm a little replaceable.
00:08:59
Speaker
Sounds like I can get out of here and you could get another Jerry type. we've literally That's a little upsetting. We've literally said that we would replace
Roles and Dynamics
00:09:06
Speaker
you if we could. Yeah, that's why that's why Atticus is here right now. This is a trial run to see if he wants to come back.
00:09:13
Speaker
You guys think you're the first guys on this podcast? This is like a three-year-old podcast. I mean, you're replaced. You are replacement. Yeah, you are literally talking to the person you replace.
00:09:25
Speaker
Well, I he he probably replaced Jeff if we're being honest. Oh, yeah. Doing one to one. Yeah, I didn't want to say I didn't want to say he's playing slot corner more of an axe. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, but you got to be able to the whole point Mike is you got to be able to dish it back. That's how we're going to survive. So that's a perfect example. So he's saying he's he's wide receiver one. He's saying I'm wide receiver three and I can respect that, but I'm trying to make you all wide receiver ones out here. You know, I'm trying to open guys are being like Packers got out of playoffs with that fucking stay in the corner. Run your run your I thought Don Tavian Wicks could be a one D as well and he can't catch. I don't know what it doesn't work. We literally had a conversation about this being like
00:10:07
Speaker
Someone has to be the Jordan. Someone has to be the Pippen and someone has to be the Rodman. Yeah. And we established that you're Tony Kukoc. We don't have the Rodman. I'm not even on the fucking paper. I'm not even on the roster. That went right here, right over my fucking head. It's all right. Yeah. I'll, I'll, I'll, the listeners. You could, you could make fun of him for being a beta who doesn't know about sports. That's right.
00:10:29
Speaker
doesn't know who Michael Jordan is. Well, i know Michael Jordan is. Holy shit. I'm not that kind of guy though. Just not that kind of guy. That's why you're Jerry and that's a fine. Right. Right. It's okay. You just, you just have to understand that like we are that kind of guy, but it doesn't mean we like hate you yeah just means we're, we got to talk about fucking something here, man. That's right. It's either that or we become fucking but pod save America. And we just talk about Trump and what his, his executive orders are doing and shit. Nah, which I don't want to do. I'm not depressed enough yet to do that. mean, I don't know.
00:11:01
Speaker
Catch us an hour two and we'll see. I know, right? We haven't, we haven't hit social security yet, so we got time on that. na yeah Not yet. Not a lot of time. Technically. Yeah.
00:11:13
Speaker
right. So before we started this episode, I want to go back to something Mike had said, because this was really, really interesting to me. It's always what I said. Because it is, because it's you're the engine of this podcast, yeah bro. Yeah.
00:11:24
Speaker
You want to kind of hype me up? like Driving the conversation. den Disparagingly. But it's like those Warriors teams, right? Yeah. Draymond Green was the fucking glue there. 100%. Now, is he as good at basketball as Steph Curry? No.
00:11:40
Speaker
Or Klay Thompson or probably like Andrew Wiggins, you know, Kevon Looney could go either way. Keep giving me some names. I will say at one point or another, I have said he wasn't good enough to be the Draymond here. Oh, okay. Well, sorry. You know, it's been established. Someone's got to be a Vika Zubak or whatever. Yeah. All right. What did I say? What did I say last episode? No, no, no. It was what you said right before we hit record. Oh, is it my two filet of fish?
00:12:09
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. The filet of fish thing out of the way, kind of weird, but I get it. It's lent. You'd be like, i love seafood. And then referring to two filet of fish. Yeah. Is crazy.
00:12:20
Speaker
Or the tuna melt at Subway. Guys, this is like this um this is like the Panera Bread Lobster Roll. Is it good? No. But it gets the job done. you know but But you can't say you're a lover of seafood and then get or say like claim that. ah I don't, I don't know, man. Weirdly, I'm with Mike here. Hold on.
00:12:38
Speaker
He's not saying that that's his favorite seafood. No, no, I'm just saying. He's just saying, you know, I'm a, I'm a seafood fan as is, so it's not that big of a deal for me to replace a fucking McDouble with fish. Thank you. and I'm not saying this about it, but if I knew you guys were ready, if I we ready for you, sit the fuck down. are you ready for? Say what you gotta say. I'm trying to so shut the fuck up over there the corner. What I'm saying is if I had more time and I knew you guys were order. Yeah.
00:13:08
Speaker
He's training me up. You're training me up. Truly, truly. All I'm saying is if if, and I'm not saying this is your guys fault, but I knew you guys were going to Frankie's. Obviously Frankie's is a better seafood option than McDonald's, but I did the McDonald's for the quick and easy.
00:13:22
Speaker
Now I haven't had a filet of fish in a while and it was actually not that bad, but am I craving for it? Absolutely not. But I had to do what I had to do. You we have all been there you have to see where we're coming from. where like Every time we talk to it's something I'm not going to say disgusting. Here it is. But it is. But it's close.
00:13:40
Speaker
You're talking about fucking lobster from Panera Bread or tuna melt from Subway. And that's all you bring up. He said the Cumbies McRib was better. he said the cumbies me I didn't. I stand by that. The roller dog. here you all This is the thing.
00:13:55
Speaker
I stand on two feet with that. I am not backing down. That's fine. I'm standing. he's not backing down. I'm standing on two feet on the flay of fish was good. No, you're not. Look, you got one foot up. Technically, we're not standing. Technically, we're all not standing. Let's just let's just get there. on Are those socks on backwards?
00:14:10
Speaker
No, no. Okay. All right. You guys are you guys are looking. Come on. Even if they were, let's let him fucking breathe a little bit. Thank you. Come on. We should have this one we've done in like months together. Yeah, we just got a lot pent up fucking I like what Atticus is around. He snaps back a little bit and I'm like looking at his fucking leg. It's like you six foot tall ass. Fucking ankle sock ass bitch.
00:14:38
Speaker
Oh God. Yes. Look, I'm a seafood guy. So no is is the flay of fish my first choice? Of course not. Of course not. But we got to do what you got to do. You guys ever have that one meal where it's like, I didn't really want to do it, but I did it. You know I'm saying? The combi's McRib.
00:14:55
Speaker
but you But you said it was good. is i thought you were 10 toes down. i am I'm still saying it's good. So that's not that meal. Yeah. what's your what's your What's your meal? It's like, I didn't need to do it, but I had to do it. Always McDonald's French fries. I love McDonald's French fries.
00:15:09
Speaker
No, no. I think it's more of a, you don't like it in general type thing. Like you're down bad. You're like, I had to do it because I had to eat. like like a consistent thing that I go to, it never it's it's never fast food for me. I believe this is often called girl dinner the internet. Girl dinner, struggle meal.
00:15:25
Speaker
Yeah. oh what are you what are you tossing together? dude, I mean. For example, you know, like ah you get you're getting a tortilla and throwing fucking shredded cheese and pepperoni on it and microwaving that. Like a down bad meal. yeah I don't know if filet-o-fish.
00:15:40
Speaker
I don't know if down bad it also means just Catholic because that's kind of a different thing to me. But... but Well, it's just it's a different reason for... No, what you said is pretty close. I would say it's like the microwave nachos. Like you get like little Tostitos chips.
00:15:58
Speaker
Yeah, that's pretty down bad. little frozen taquito. You know what I'm saying? Listen, those could still I had one or two of those in my life. yeah Can't believe you all think of my receiver three. It's fucked up. I did not. like I said five. I said slot.
00:16:11
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, that's equivalent to wide receiver three. No, well, not if not if you're a March a winning the Super Bowl with Julian. He plays in the slot. He plays. He's a wide. and He's per cut. Those those roles. Yeah, look how well that went for him. Cooper. Come what? He's going to the Hall of Fame. What are you talking about?
00:16:28
Speaker
what a Super Bowl? What's what's the problem? Team dumped him. His team dumped him. He got all. He got hurt. that That was everyone. Yeah, I'm going to fucking Jerry Rice.
00:16:37
Speaker
I don't know guys. don't know. What's your thoughts? This is what happens when you do like a full episode. I have known it's going to slowly. Oh, so this is because this is my fault. Yeah, yeah, that's it. He's like, you know, this is going to happen to you. Just get ready for it. Like, get the fuck out of here.
00:16:52
Speaker
just like I'm just catching them back up to speed. and think he can make his own opinions. I think he I think he knows what he's doing. I'm doing my own research right now. That's right. It's feeling it out. He's worked with a Jerry before he knows. And when he comes to the same conclusions as us, what are you going to say?
00:17:06
Speaker
I mean, we're we're all going to shake hands and be friends at the end of the day, but i'mnna I'm going to give it hell while we're recording. you know and Amen. I respect that. Keep that mentality. Yeah, we need that. yeah We need that. Yeah, there you go.
00:17:18
Speaker
Yeah. So Trump, yeah, pretty good. I'm just kidding. I'm fucking with you guys. Atticus is going to punch me in the face. You were doing well there for a second. Yeah, you you kind of, you had it. if You just left it there.
00:17:31
Speaker
Yeah. It's all good. It's all good.
00:17:36
Speaker
Calm. Yeah. Calm than you are. Yeah. right. You guys want to play some Would You Rather? Absolutely. All but never Now that we're primed. This is a new segment I'm trying to bring to the pod. going to start having these. New
Introducing 'Would You Rather'
00:17:50
Speaker
thing Victor invented called Would You Rather. I made this up. All right. I miss real of the week.
00:17:56
Speaker
and It's been hard without having to go on Discord and stuff. and We could bring it back. What of the week? Real of the week. Real the week, yeah. yeah Sounds like something that would piss me off. It would. Yeah, it would. All right.
00:18:09
Speaker
all right So we're going to start it out pretty slow here. Would you rather spend 10 years in jail or 20 years in a coma? What What jail?
00:18:21
Speaker
just Are we allowed to like ask questions like that? or are we No, I have not nothing. there's you just We're allowed to ask questions, though. We can discuss it amongst ourselves. sure I might not have answers, but... we can well We can decide on what the answers are. you know we can It's sort of a collaborative experience. Is it a prison or is it a jail? That's question.
00:18:39
Speaker
it more fresh there there There's a difference. you have You have to make these calls. but I'm going to say prison. okay now yeah i mean Nobody's really in jail for 10 years. You're in to trial, I guess. yeah You're going to be in gen pop.
00:18:52
Speaker
do i Do I have the ah opportunity to get out earlier with good behavior? No. damn solid is it maximum is it a maximum security prison or is it we'll go we'll go like an easy all right you're so you're just choosing between 10 less okay so this is like 10 years of like a white collar thing i'm like at the prison at the end of wolf of wall street i'm playing tennis and stuff not that nice okay just like a regular run of the mill all right which is still probably really bad yeah probably fucking sucks yeah Um, making prison chili in the toilet bowl and stuff like that. That's a tough one. i probably do prison.
00:19:26
Speaker
I'd probably have to do pretty like, I don't know. I, I, it's just like you check out for 20 years. Like, yeah like how, how long are you just readjusting to being alive again? yeah i know that's the case when you get out of prison too, but it's like,
00:19:41
Speaker
I don't know what, what's the internet and shit. Like the world's going to end in fucking 15. What are we, I'm going to wake up and, and there's going to be fucking zombies everywhere. Rick Grimes or whatever. Yeah. I'd rather not check out. 20 years of my life gone. That could be a quarter of my life.
00:19:58
Speaker
Yeah, it could be. Could be less. Yeah, could be less. You don't want to talk about that. That's right. Maybe I never get out of that. And you're already, I mean, hey. Yeah. So what is, what's, what's, was I in a really question? I think I'm already choosing prison to be honest, but was I in a, like a crazy car accident? Did I have a stroke? Do you go into a coma when have a stroke?
00:20:19
Speaker
I don't know. I'm not a fucking doctor, but was it violent or am I, I'm just going to, it's like, No, you just usually go to sleep. I just fell asleep one day. Well, all right. Well, he's going to leave him be for a little bit. Yeah. Actually, what did I do to get into prison?
00:20:33
Speaker
nothing you just you just yeah just spawn just spawn in prison you were falsely accused nobody just spawns in prison yeah because i mean yeah there's a there's a sort of a racist system of policing that leads to it but we don't want to get into that right now so we'll just say this must be the fun so that's the thing though if i'm agreeing to go to prison for 10 years but it's like for something that's that i gotta live with for the rest of my life that factors in okay well that's good to know for it ah later would you rather Okay. Cool, cool, cool. 10 years and then you get new evidence gets turned over and you are acquitted. Yeah.
00:21:05
Speaker
Like all those like 17 year old black guys who get arrested for murders they obviously commit. Yeah. I'm going with prison. Okay. Yeah, I think so. I like it sucks, but I can at least I can fucking like read books and eat for prison.
00:21:18
Speaker
Do something in there. you yeah exact prison mic You know, get ripped. I'm not doing it. Do a bunch of fucking pushups and stuff. You know? Yeah. What do you mean? What else you gonna do? That's what I'm saying. That's what he's doing. That's what okay that's what you do. I was gonna say, you're just gonna sit in your cell whole time. Might as well get jacked and play basketball. I don't know.
00:21:34
Speaker
Use the library. Maybe I don't know. so They get iPads. Now they get tablets. Now in prison, you'll be all right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So the next one. Can I tell you, wait, can I tell you a funny story that I probably shouldn't tell? Yeah, good.
00:21:46
Speaker
That's what this is for. I have a, I have a cousin who I love very much. Not Michelangelo. I feel like i need to name drop that. It's not Michelangelo, but I have a cousin that I love very much. Donatello.
00:21:57
Speaker
Yeah. leo Leonardo. go Leonardo. And he was he has unfortunately done time in prison. um And he's obviously in a lot better state now and has been for a very long time.
00:22:09
Speaker
So um the last time I hung out with him and his girlfriend, I signed us up to do an escape room. And my sister booked it. And, but I guess this place has two locations.
00:22:22
Speaker
So she booked it for one location, but we went to the other one. Then they like, oh, we don't have this room in here. We're like, oh man, the other one was farther away. So they're like, well, we have a room with the same difficulty in here. Like I could get it ready. Is it okay?
00:22:36
Speaker
We're like, okay, yeah, like we'll do it. That's all good. They're like, it's a prison escape. Are you okay with that? And I looked at my cousin, I was like, you want to go back to the pumpkin patch? Cause that's what he used to call it. And he was like, yeah, all right. Like it's no big deal, whatever. So they lock you into your own
Escape Room Story
00:22:50
Speaker
cell and And so they lock you into the cell and she's explaining this stuff.
00:22:56
Speaker
And she was like, yeah, you know, um you know, the toilet's not functioning, you know, like obviously like this is a simulation of a prison, but this and that. And she goes, oh, you know, if if you try to flush the toilet and the toilet doesn't flush, what does that mean? And I was like, oh, it means it doesn't work. She goes, yeah, it's not working. So don't do anything stupid in this stuff. He goes, goes, I used to make soup of that. And I was like, oh man, i was like, wow. Um, and so then, so we all had to find this stuff in the prison to get out. Like it's a stuff five seconds. This dude's scan through the whole room, found everything he needed in five seconds. It was the first standing outside. It was like, I'm done.
00:23:34
Speaker
I was like, Oh my God, it was, it was just funny because like, obviously that was a bad time, but like we laugh at it, but I was like, ah dude I'm sorry. i was like you cool with this. He's like yeah, I'm cool with it and there was like oh, he's like you speak. I'm used to make soup in this toilet. He's like you mean I can't do it and the lady was like I see somebody has prior experience shitty thing to say. Oh, something like that. Just thinking on her feet, you know yeah what else can she really say? She's just like I'll leave you guys to it, you know.
00:24:03
Speaker
So, um, well, at least it was kind of like a happy, not a happy memory, but like it could have gone a lot worse. We didn't have to wear the orange. i think that was the good part. Yeah. think it a good part. We didn't have to wear the orange.
00:24:14
Speaker
So it all worked out. And they they usually like do photo ops at those things. So if they had you get up in the jumpsuit and then take them to me, Do the mug shot. i escape prison at blah, blah, blah. Escape room.
00:24:28
Speaker
So, man. All right. Second one. You have to use a busy public bathroom. Would you rather use a stall that only blocks your face or only blocks your genitals?
00:24:43
Speaker
Wait a minute. I'm sorry. I don't understand. The doors, the doors have. It's just a half. You're either going top half or bottom half. that's that's it's easy genitals for sure out of my own insecurities only blocks or blocking or showing blocking yeah blocking for sure for sure yeah it's in the bathroom you know what i'm here to do yeah exactly i mean come on yeah come on you saw me walking into the stall what the fuck does it matter what i'm doing in there say
00:25:14
Speaker
This is taking me out. Just just picture him walking into the bathroom and just seeing everyone's little dick and balls just right on the fucking thing. Well, not necessarily. If you think about it, right? Like if you're if you're standing there taking a piss, like they're just going to see like the back of you, not the front. No, no, no it's implied that you're. yeah Yeah, it's implied that everything is being shown.
00:25:34
Speaker
Yeah. How am I supposed to piss it in there? See, you okay you're worrying about the logistics of it. Yeah, of course, because it doesn't make sense. You're not pissing. This is a hypothetical question. Okay, so if I'm sitting on the toilet taking a shit, you don't see my pee pee because it's it's it's in there. Why don't we do it this way? All the stalls. You see like.
00:25:51
Speaker
some of it. Right. And again, you have to pay it out at some point. Right. Also depends what we're working with. You know, right, right. Exactly. Maybe you see the whole show. Yeah, exactly. I don't know.
00:26:05
Speaker
and i guess I guess I'll go with black in the genitals, but I feel like that really reminds me. Have you guys been to Fenway Park? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just a trough. The trough is ridiculous. That's beautiful. That builds camaraderie.
00:26:15
Speaker
I mean, that's old school. That's one of the most beautiful things you can experience as man. Yeah. Is... yeah is is like drunkenly walking to the bathroom, seeing some guy who basically in any other circumstance, I would probably find completely repulsive. He probably has the worst opinions ever.
00:26:32
Speaker
We're in Boston. He's probably racist, quite frankly. Yeah. But he's like, Hey, you go socks. And high five, you hit the high five. I mean, you know, you get the high five and then the hands wet and you're like, Oh, is that water? Yeah. Had a few of these, those big ass beers already. So yeah, speaking of nothing speaking of hands in the in the urinal, what's up with people? do you guys do this? Because I don't understand. They put the one hand on the wall while they take a pass. Oh yeah, I don't do that. That's when you're really that's a real good. That's you're really. ah
00:27:03
Speaker
think that's got like that's That's an older guy thing. say an Old guy thing because you need the balance, right? What, the knees not that good? The knees not like they used to be? No. I kind of respect getting stanced up. Yeah. You know, really really digging in there. Hitting the Jordan. I think you're i think i think sometimes, you know, if you're in a different prostate situation, peeing is a bit more of like an involved activity. Right. It requires some effort. Like some oomph. Yeah. You got to have some stability. You got to grip that wall. Yeah.
00:27:34
Speaker
No, I find the opposite. I feel like I'm getting progressively further and further away from the urinals whenever I go. Because every time I go now, it doesn't matter where it is. There's always like a little puddle just around the entire urinal. Yeah, we got to figure that out. We do. I just don't understand it. Some of them are smart and they put the little grates right under the urinal.
00:27:54
Speaker
And that's cool. but That's a classic. I got like one. I'm like standing all weird because like one foot can stand where it normally does. And the other is like. Yeah. Yeah. not a fan.
00:28:05
Speaker
Yeah, I guess I'm going black of the genitals on that All right, I'm a block the face. Let's have fun. Yeah, hey listen, so I just to switch it up. Yeah, that could be you don't know. It's me. That could be any guy's small dick, right? You know, like it's like that's right. Anybody don't tell you some short game. Don't tell you anybody until you walk out of this stall myself. I know what I'm This isn't like a gap. I'm not. It's not a believe in yourself type thing. Yeah, I can't. It's sort of just a reality. He's like, no, it's confirmed. He's like, confirmed. No, it's okay. You see the genitals, but it's like the the the clown mirrors, you know, like it's all distorted. Yeah, so it looks bigger. So it looks bigger. then I'm definitely picking that. The mirrors make it look smaller. Yeah.
00:28:49
Speaker
Oh, that's so sad. That's terrible. Yeah, terrible for a guy like me. That's it, man. Yeah, they the most disingenuous that's so sad ever from my... Oh my God.
00:29:02
Speaker
What would it even be like to have a not huge dick? That's right. I'll never know. Don't really care. Yeah. All right. and Would you rather... we're gonna We're ramping it up here. Those were the two softballs. Those were the easy ones. Okay. We're ramping it up.
00:29:16
Speaker
Would you rather... A beautiful woman shit on your chest once a year. Come on. um or peg you biweekly. Come on. What kind questions are these? What kind of question is that? I told you we're ramping it Who's going to listen to this shit? Oh my God. I feel like these are like knee jerk. Like just poop on my chest and let's get it over with. Like i don't need Huh? Once a year?
00:29:39
Speaker
Once a year? Fuck it. I don't care. What if you're into pegging? What if I know? Am I sleeping? Yeah, but no, you're not sleeping. We're talking about. You're fully aware. yeah Are you sleeping? Does that have? Is it? I feel like that's worse. yay Can I just assume for none of these? years to sleep Okay. i was Am I sleeping while i'm taking the shit with my dick out?
00:30:02
Speaker
Wait, well hold on. I mean, if you're in the coma, you're sleeping. I mean, I'm just saying that's the only me one. Can I? Yeah. None of them except the ones that are explicitly your unconscious. All right. Didn't think I had to like spell that out. You're learning. You're learning. You're learning. You're doing great.
00:30:17
Speaker
Can I choose where I get shit on your chest? That's it. Oh, it has to be my chest. Listen to this. Oh, my God. What's better? Yeah, where's a better place? yeah where else? My back.
00:30:28
Speaker
No. What? ah Yeah, probably. It's better, but no, you're not getting that confidence. Oh, oh i see I see what you're saying. i'm I'm saying objectively that is better. You can shit on my foot. You can shit on my knee. Like the closer you get to my face, the worse it is. This is the most bro podcast I think we've ever experienced. No, Mike, play along.
00:30:47
Speaker
Answer the fucking question. Answer the question. Come on. What are the what are the choices again? You either get shit on your chest. You a beautiful woman shits on your chest. You hear a beautiful woman shits on your chest. He got so horny and almost passed out. Didn't even hear the second thing or you get pegged bi-weekly by the same woman.
00:31:06
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. Yeah. bimarly Bi-weekly bi-weekly. So every paycheck every day. Yeah, every payday on press. She hands you your paycheck and then she pegs. How big how big is the peg?
00:31:18
Speaker
Oh, that's a good question. We'll go above average. We'll go like six, six and a half. Yeah, it's two Atticus's for those. You don't have to do that to yourself, man. You can just hold that in. I'm trying to help you out. I'm trying to take some heat off you. I you, Doug. appreciate you, Doug.
00:31:39
Speaker
but I guess I'm going have to shed on the chest. Really? Okay. I'm pegging, dude. I mean, like like, here's the thing. I know for a fact, I don't want to get shit on my chest. I don't, you know, even if I'm like, even if the pegging isn't my thing, I don't think I'm going to find it as bad as, as the shit. I'm going to get used to it. yeah You know what i mean? 26 times a year.
00:31:59
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Whatever. You know, fucking that's a lot of times. Yeah. You know, it's not to completion. It doesn't, that's not a, you know, what are you know? Yeah. Yeah. Is it like a one in and out? No, no. I mean, it's a probably a it's a full session. It's an important session. Like a like a three minute session. Actually, 12 minute session. What determines the session? Yeah, girls take forever to come. We're not doing it. Sometimes they just don't. No, no, no. But hold on. This is you. We're dipping in the territory here.
Debating Extreme Scenarios
00:32:30
Speaker
next question. hold Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. You know what? I'm going to answer it with however long you think you last next question. How long? How long? Oh, we're good. So good, bro.
00:32:43
Speaker
I've been joking about some of these. That's not a joke. Come on. We're in and out. One two. Once you pump, that's not actually, you know what?
00:32:54
Speaker
That was again you sufficient. You know, like, I mean, fucking what? and And if it comes with my paycheck too. ah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. close yeah so it's not a It's not a reward for your pack. You make it sound like a package. You sandwich it, right? You get, get the paycheck in the morning, you take care of some business and then whatever you have a nice meal, you know, you get ice cream on the way home or something. Yeah, exactly.
00:33:18
Speaker
Give yourself a little self pat on the back and you move on with your day. Maybe you like Yeah. I don't know. You might. I know I'm not going to like getting shit on my chest. I don't have the ceiling is very low on that. I've heard that the the the the male prostate can be yeah very pleasurable. This could this good spot this can change my life.
00:33:39
Speaker
yeah This could open up all new avenues for me ah sexually speaking. yeah Right. and And that could be really good for me and liberating things. I mean, the the the only caveat to that is you really only need one or two times to figure that out. yeah I mean, look, there's a good chance I don't like it, but I also know I'm not going to not like it as much as I don't like getting shit on. Well, but see, that's the other thing too, is you know for a fact you don't get like getting like shit on, yeah but that only happens once a year. If you find out that you don't for sure don't like getting pegged, it's indefinitely happening bi-weekly. You got 24 more times. You got 24 more times. I'll get used to it.
00:34:17
Speaker
I'm not going to lie. After listening to Atticus, i kind of want to I kind of want to take that side now. Okay. Yeah. It kind of makes sense. You guys can do it to each other. ah Okay. You guys are both in agreement. That was no way that wasn't part of the question. Yeah. It was beautiful woman. That was not in the contract. Yeah. You guys seem to come naturally come together on it. You know, I'm just, I'm saying, well, if we're going to naturally come together, we'll naturally, you know, all right. Amen. I love that. the fuck on a podcast is this? All right. All right.
00:34:49
Speaker
Let me sip on my liquid death here. Yeah. All right. So next one. Would you rather execute one person on live television? Jesus. This is 25 discreetly in the woods.
00:35:06
Speaker
um Okay. Is this conspiracy? Is this one? Is this by firing squad? Like they're doing the firing squad at midnight. Yeah. You are doing it. like like ah Like mafia style where it's, you know, you're going right up behind them. This is just like like a like randomly selected. yeah random 25. This is like the scene of the Godfather. Same with the one. It's a random. Yeah.
00:35:27
Speaker
What do people think they're watching when I'm doing this on TV? Oh, it's SNF. What's the exclamation? Okay. Live from New York. Okay. I guess what I'm saying is like,
00:35:41
Speaker
Do you, do you, are, am I going to be like ostracized? Like, do people think I'm a murderer after this or do I just like go home Yeah. Yeah. Cause if you do the 25 discreetly in the woods, no one will ever know. That's the point. Okay. Will you get caught?
00:35:52
Speaker
No. Uh, okay. mike Am I going to, you get away with the one. Okay. You just like never everyone just like knows you killed a guy. I mean, that's fine. Plenty of people are doing fine.
00:36:03
Speaker
having a thriving, um, that's, ah that's actually not so much. That's not true. That's simply not true. I was making a joke for, I was exaggerating for comedy purposes. We're bleeding all of that. I don't know why my my brain would go to like the most litigious guy of all time. idiot and Um, we'll Ray Lewis, we'll be bad. We'll beatep that out i' say Ray Lewis. Yeah. Caitlyn Jenner. Yeah, that's fine.
00:36:29
Speaker
Um, Yeah, I think I probably do the one still. Okay. Like, it sucks, but it's like, I don't know. It's not like 25. It's not 25. Most people hate me, like, in in this scenario, but it's like, I don't really, like, interact with that many people. You know, the cashier at fucking Stop and Shop wasn't watching that. You know, not everyone watches the news or whatever.
00:36:53
Speaker
It's probably just giving people like, what the fuck is that the fucking... That's the murder guy. What's up with that? Do people have any, like, is it just like screen flashes on bang and then like off yeah or like, is there supposed to be some explanation? Explanation? explanation Are they throwing commercials like pre-show? It's like Saturday night. others yeah There's a break right before pull the trigger. Like it's a game show. No, it's like right before the next UFC fight. Yeah. yeah Or they they're doing it inside the NBA.
00:37:20
Speaker
The big execution reveal up next. And there's like an Ozempic commercial. You know what saying? Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing the 25. Wow. All right. 25 to the 25 for the throw. You tell me I can do it for the thrill. my my Mike's like, I can only squeeze out five privately right now. So yeah. Tell me, I can tell me I can with the cops on Mike's back. He's only been able to do like one every couple months. Right. Right. Yeah.
00:37:47
Speaker
That would be really numbers. Numbers are down yeah em are down boy down. Yeah. That brings the average back up. Listen, the cynic in me says that maybe the one public execution could actually boost my My public. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. So you have a sort of a coordinated thing where it's like you do that. And then afterward, you're like, you like dig up some tweets where the guy said the N word when he was 15 or something. You're like, Hey, he's like, Hey, actually the tide has changed. You would say he didn't say the N word and that's why I killed him because yeah. Right. Trump won.
00:38:18
Speaker
Right. Or even, or even all that waed a little bit. All of that aside, I i would be like you know like, listen, I'm the one that had the guts to do this shit. And people be like, you what? fucking right. This guy. I'd run for president. Hey, listen, yeah maybe you could start a revolution.
00:38:31
Speaker
ah Maybe. Sure, yeah. This is getting beyond the scope, but it might. Hey, listen, if Casey Anthony can make a comeback after killing one person, right but she he's trying to be an influencer. on very specific Well, I guess, why wouldn't you? I don't know. It's like,
00:38:49
Speaker
is she trying to be an influence? Like I'm sure she's trying to be an, people make that seem like more of an active thing than it is. It's just like, all right, I'm going to be on Tik TOK and I'm Casey Anthony. Let's see if someone wants to pay me for that. Yeah, no, she's doing like a, like her talks about like her battles with like legal troubles and stuff. Are you serious? It's always so awesome. Yeah.
00:39:09
Speaker
i was I was looking at ah OJ's old Twitter videos and stuff because my sibling, who is fucking 21. well, about to be 22. Damn.
00:39:23
Speaker
Was like, what's up with OJ Simpson? i don't know what the fuck is going on with that. They're not into sports either. so yeah um And I was like, yeah, basically he he killed a couple people and got away with it and then posted a bunch of videos on Twitter.
00:39:37
Speaker
And you're really smiling. Yeah. at the Yeah. i wrote a book on it. Yeah. If I did, if I did it, all of this, all like half of his Twitter videos are complaining about getting arrested for the memorabilia thing. Yeah. Which it does seem like he kind of got screwed over, but it's like sometimes yeah there's makeup calls, man. i don't know what to tell you. but if anyone should know. Yeah. It's an athlete. It's so funny to be like this fucking justice system. And it's like, dude, you killed two people. talking about. I feel the way that Atticus described like the
Monica Lewinsky's Public Life
00:40:10
Speaker
Casey Anthony thing. Why she's getting hits is like I feel the exact same way about Monica Lewinsky. Like why are we still talking about her? Like why is she doing TED talks and stuff? Well, like why she I feel like she's just kind of like a victim. but Yeah. No, yeah, I know. I understand. She's got something to talk kind of about kind of the opposite way of Casey. Casey Anthony.
00:40:27
Speaker
I mean, it is here's the thing. There's still a lot of she's Probably not intentionally, but definitely still getting a lot of like hate clicks too, because it's a, live in a misogynist, a slut shaming society.
00:40:39
Speaker
Um, but I don't, I don't know. I get, I feel like it's her bit grandiose say it's her right to do a Ted talk or whatever, but like she got dragged through the fucking mud for, for getting kind of like,
00:40:54
Speaker
ah I don't know, half Weinstein'd by Bill Clinton. yeah and ah And everyone in the news was like this fucking slut. And she was like 20 or something. yeah People want to, it's a name that people know. yeah the the They'll definitely give her a slut. You kidding me? If she wanted to talk about her teddy bear collection, they would let her do it. like yeah If you're a well-known name and you'll get clicks. like yeah well that's i do i like grave about You were just talking about how big of a get Mark McGrath was for the for the Liquid Death album. We're talking about bygone 90s celebrities. yeah But he needs the money. She doesn't?
00:41:27
Speaker
She's got pay rent, bro. with ah with a stellar feature by by Tony Hawk, by the way. Fantastic. But come on. You don't think Monica Lewinsky set for life after all that shit? No, no. From what?
00:41:41
Speaker
Yes. What? What? What? She got a book deal. What are we talking her They didn't they didn't settle with her. They kicked her to the fucking curb. That's right. You think the US government made right with someone they know over? her i'm not saying the US government.
00:41:55
Speaker
I'm saying the Clintons. No, I mean fucking did they pay for anything? They might. I'd have to like look into it. They might. There might have been a settlement or something. We talking out of right now. Right. Okay. According to Trillis dot com. Yeah. Trillis dot com. Another reliable source.
00:42:12
Speaker
ah Monica Lewinsky's net worth is 50 million dollars. Jesus Christ. She must have a net worth. Things are always it's always wrong. Yeah. Yeah. But like what would. Yeah, they say I'm only worth $5. I don't get it.
00:42:25
Speaker
Another reputable source, HollywoodLife.com, says it's 1.5. 1.5. So that's a massive difference. yes Yes. And it's like, I mean, is there anyone that's famous enough to be on those websites that doesn't get at least one mil for their net worth? Those are just completely fabricated, right?
00:42:43
Speaker
This one, like a bunch of, again, these are probably just regurgitated like AI articles from a couple years ago. But Yahoo Finance and AOL.com both posted the same article saying like she made one she's worth $1.5 million. dollars Okay.
00:42:59
Speaker
I mean, like, I guess. Yeah, could see that. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah, whatever. Good for her. um Last one. This one should be a softball, but could end up being the most controversial.
00:43:10
Speaker
um Okay. Okay. So just keep that in mind. Processing. Mike, I know you love your dog Cooper very much. I do. going have a tough choice here. oh
Controversial Choice Debate
00:43:20
Speaker
Would you rather live in a world without dogs or without people of color?
00:43:28
Speaker
Mike, we'll let you answer. The floor is yours. Answer carefully. Where did these questions come from? This is a twisted mind of Victor. This is a big question.
00:43:40
Speaker
Wait, what? so So who you getting rid of Cooper or me? You shouldn't. I think that answers our question. He's going through it in his mind right now. All the people of color that he knows in his life.
00:43:57
Speaker
Am I okay getting rid of that person?
00:44:02
Speaker
my Mike, you are you are you are thinking way too long about this Mike. I mean, I guess I got to get it. It sounds like he's going to choose dogs. It sounds like he's going to choose dogs, too. Even if you're in your head, it's the racist answer. You should probably just lie.
00:44:23
Speaker
Mike, you know this is being recorded right now, right? You know this is going to go out. We're going two talk going with the dogs. You're getting the dogs? We're getting rid of the dogs. getting rid of the dogs.
00:44:36
Speaker
yeah Like we're the local police force, baby. That's right. That's hilarious. I mean, they're already out there eating the cats, eating the dogs. and Might as well just get rid of them, you
00:44:47
Speaker
Mike, you were so close to a good answer. Yeah. You were so close to a good answer. After five minutes of deliberation, you almost didn't say something racist. Yeah.
00:44:59
Speaker
Jesus Christ.
00:45:03
Speaker
How come I'm the only one that answered? What's everybody's answer? You're the only one that has a dog. organ We're getting rid of the dogs, Mike. yeah No politically charged statements needed after that.
00:45:17
Speaker
We're getting rid of the dogs. Like I said, it seems kind of like a layup question here, but it seems like it. Yeah. I mean, imagine imagine how bad music. Yeah, Mike sports food would be.
00:45:29
Speaker
i mean, just life even worth living. No, now, now I feel obligated to ask Mike. What were you thinking about? we don't have to you running through? We don't have to go there at all. What were you running through in your mind? This doesn't need a further discussion. There isn't a black guy that lives at my house.
00:45:47
Speaker
So that makes it a little harder. This is bad. This is bad guys. This is bad. This is bad for the record. Mike's not racist. Yeah, for the regular. Yeah, I'm doing a After the fact, if you're like Mike's employer or something, it's for everybody. It's for everybody. If you're Mike's employee, no, but if you're his friend, you know, that's for everybody that's watching the video feed. If we do put this up, Mike was just frozen in white guilt for a second there. Like, yeah, you like lean forward and just like stared into the middle distance for a while.
00:46:23
Speaker
This isn't good. a Yeah, I'd get on a call with your agent, right? You're gonna do some damage control. you guys, um you know, lawyer. I know a couple.
00:46:35
Speaker
yeah I don't think she would be willing to represent you after that answer. Might be a public defender situation.
00:46:43
Speaker
ah That was a big question. Nope. That was the opposite of a big question. The easiest layup questions. i One of the easiest questions. I even preface that. I was like, hey, this is a layup. Yeah, I know.
00:46:55
Speaker
Big question.
00:46:58
Speaker
Done purposely. Well, that concludes. That one right there. And first first the first segment of which I think that went pretty well. yeah the first The first and last segment of Would You Rather. Atticus thought that went well.
00:47:14
Speaker
Yeah. I tell you what, for three ah three people in this room, it did go well for who for three. Yeah. Yeah. For three for three for three.
00:47:29
Speaker
Put some whole new meeting to prison Mike right there.
00:47:34
Speaker
I'm not having fun anymore. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. It's you brought this on yourself. He thought about that question for way too long and still gave a questionable answer.
00:47:46
Speaker
Just said, get rid of the dogs, right? You knew that's what you had to say. You sat there for five minutes knowing you had to say that, but thinking, God, I love my dog and froze. That's not on us. That's on you.
00:48:00
Speaker
That's right. Yeah. And then you gave the right answer. Yeah, and you were in the clear and then you followed it up.
00:48:10
Speaker
um Mike Mike Mike. Oh man. <unk> quick Quickly Victor roll roll onto into it before Mike throws himself out the window.
00:48:24
Speaker
but What do you have now? What do you have now? be honest. Nothing. We're gonna let that one marinate. butre We're giving it some space so Victor can put your your ah clip there on loop for a little bit.
00:48:37
Speaker
That was bad. so This is good. right All
00:48:43
Speaker
right. That was bad. I restart. This is so fucking funny. I'm trying to move on. Throw something out there. I'm trying to move on. Next topic. If you got a topic. Yeah. If you got something wrong to say.
00:48:58
Speaker
Why is it me? Why do I got to roll on to it? You're the one who wants to move on. You want to move on, dude. I'm just soaking this in right now. That is a moment we... Man, i'm gonna we're going to have to live that one forever.
00:49:09
Speaker
Yeah. I'm glad we recorded that.
00:49:14
Speaker
All right. Hit me, Vic. What do you No, that was it. That was not only a five that was the last question. i was Oh, that was it? Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought we were ending it there. No, no.
00:49:26
Speaker
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. All right. A couple of weeks ago, Mike threw this in the discord. um Now I want your backstory on this because i I kind of agree with you here, um but I think that's just a me thing.
00:49:38
Speaker
um Are we too old to go out? We're approaching 30. what does What does go out mean? Yeah. don't know. Maybe like getting strawberry daiquiris at 9.30 p.m. on a Friday with your boys. Absolutely not. that's a course not. That's beautiful. Absolutely not. That's beautiful. i don't think we should.
00:49:56
Speaker
Exactly what we need Are we too old to go to like a club? Borderline. Depends on the place. How long ago did i put that in there? Because I was somewhere and I can't remember where it was. This this might have been like a month ago. i just I saw it there. I was like, I guess we could bring that up today.
00:50:12
Speaker
I don't remember where I was, but I just, you know what it is? It's just, I guess it's a generational difference, right? Like ah everybody's going in like, yeah, like going out to like the club quote unquote, or like going out dancing, going out on in a night like that. Right. Like, but like,
00:50:27
Speaker
You know, it used to be, you used to, you know, you used to like dress up, right? You put on like your good shirt, you know, your nice jeans, the new shoes and stuff. But like people are going like sweatpants. Like people are going in just like Nike sweatpants, some champion sweatshirts. And then like, what are what are the shoes? What are those slip on Not to slip bu the on, but the straps on top. Slides or like Crocs. Are talking about the Birkins? Maybe the Birkins, maybe the Birkins. The little clogs.
00:50:52
Speaker
But like it was, it was yeah, Birkin stocks. let's Birkin is a different thing. Like the bag, you mean? Yeah. I just call them Birkins. Yeah, that's, yeah. Yeah, but like I thought like, you know, for us, like when ah when we were going out, like it was part of the fun to like dress up and look good and do yourself up. And it's like, no, these people look like they're rolling out of bed, you know? like I'll be honest. That is more advantageous to me. I kind of like that more. I agree. Where is this? Yeah, where are you going out that they're rolling up in sweatpants?
00:51:19
Speaker
I'm just saying this the all of these places I go, whether it's like a dirty dive bar, like if it's like a dirty dive bar or if it's like a and I don't want to say higher end, but like, you know, if it's more like a nightclub social or whatever, like I just find that more and more people are just,
00:51:34
Speaker
just just going just go in the comfort route. like you know like Even places where you think like you would dress up more. it's like you know like Even like a restaurant, right? like If you go to a nicer restaurant, like went to a nicer one in Providence, Rhode Island a couple weeks ago, and yeah, everybody's dressed nice stuff, but then like people still think they're like you know they're going out clothes or just like some Nike sweatpants and stuff. I just think it's different, you know?
00:51:56
Speaker
I mean, granted, we've come a long way. Remember like the 30s when everybody was wearing a suit and tie like on a Sunday? I remember that, man. That was fucking crazy. I know, crazy shit, right? Sweating my ass off in a three-piece. You know, like my grandfather was, you know, gardening in and a button-down t-shirt and slacks. Like we've come a long way, you know, but...
00:52:13
Speaker
But the the other generations would say the same thing about you. Yeah. Yeah. well so we're saying We're saying generations. We're talking about people that are like five years younger than us. Right. I know the generations are kind of shrinking. The internet makes things kind of a yes a little quicker, but it's like, I don't know. and These are people who were born in like 2002 or something.
00:52:30
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Can you believe it? Like how old if you were 21 now, how old would you be born? 2008? 2007? No. Yeah. No, no, be I would have made him get there. Yeah, know. I i wouldn't I didn't want to. I the numbers just rolled off. I was like, Liz.
00:52:52
Speaker
numbers numbers guy meaning twenty five minus twenty four
00:53:01
Speaker
It's funny. Thank you guys for listening to a great episode of laundry in the basement. I think it's where wrap it up. Are we going for two? I think I'm going to have to go home. I think I'm to have to go home. Remember when Atticus is like, I got you, dog. Yeah, here we are. Well, I don't got you unilaterally. I had you on the one thing. I'm not going to, didn't sign a thing that said I had your back every time you referenced Haitian migrants or something.
00:53:31
Speaker
I don't recall that one. That wasn't written down. You didn't sign that. and didn't I didn't say it. and it's all all Oh, right right, right, right. I got you. I didn't say that one.
00:53:43
Speaker
Are you guys having I'm having a lot of fun. Yeah, it's just going pretty well for me. It's all good, Mike. I don't think um ah and don't know. On your original question, I don't know. I feel like Doesn't really matter to me that much.
00:54:02
Speaker
i don't know. I wouldn't pull it. I wouldn't pull up to the club and sweatpants thinking I was going to get laid or anything, but yeah, sometimes you're just trying to chill. Maybe they're nice sweatpants. i don't know Yeah, I'm much, I would be going more clubs.
00:54:14
Speaker
No, wouldn't. I mean, not really. but That's been the thing that's holding you back. I have to dress up. You love getting a fit off. What the fuck are you talking about? I know. I was going to say, remember your all silk summer? Yes. That was a beautiful summer. i know I'll never forget it.
00:54:28
Speaker
Yeah. I'll never forget it. I don't know why you don't do that again. Well, it's March. yeah Give him some time. You could bring that back. yeah yeah I get it on air with you.
00:54:39
Speaker
I get it on air with you. I think you should do an all denim summer. Oh, that's too old. Cowboy tuxedo. yeah Or as a come Canadian tuxedo. canadian eighty tuxedo the Cowboy tuxedo is, actually, what would that be?
00:54:51
Speaker
Probably the same thing. Probably just a cowboy outfit. Yeah, probably probably all done. I have a bolo. That nature makes sense. Hmm. I don't know. I'm personally doing an all leather summer.
00:55:03
Speaker
You're sweat your ass off dog. What are you doing? Yeah. but You know, I just, I want to see if I can do it. It's like those videos that we watched on YouTube. I want to post it. I'm going to I'm going wear nothing but leather. That wasn't YouTube.
00:55:17
Speaker
those leather videos we watched. Yeah. Oh, I was talking about that.
Ridiculous Content Ideas
00:55:26
Speaker
Sorry. All those videos that we were watching as a group before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:55:31
Speaker
That we, we cleaned it pretty good. Uh, no, I was talking about the eating videos where it's like you post something ridiculous. Like for the next 90 days, I'm going to wear leather. Yeah. Just leather. No one told you to do that, bud. Hey, but listen, people will watch it. Apparently. Yeah.
00:55:45
Speaker
i I'd watch it to support, you know? Yeah, I appreciate that. I'm not sure what that would entail, but I mean, well, I just one click. Yeah, yeah. It's not too much of a commitment.
00:55:57
Speaker
You don't even really have to watch. You you just have it on. Yeah, yeah yeah i think it counts the view after like 30 seconds or something. So yeah, you just click it right back. on yeah Right. And I'd have like 12 ads in there. so you just have to let a couple of them run. Yeah,
Supporting Friends
00:56:09
Speaker
you'd be good.
00:56:10
Speaker
Yeah, I get my little ad revenue and move on. Next Mr. Beast in no town. That's right. I'd support you. i I appreciate that. Because that's what we do as friends. We support each other. What are you fucking laughing at? Getting all this fucking soapbox over here.
00:56:29
Speaker
I'm talking about uplifting my friends. And here you are laughing because I'm assuming you're shitting on me. Let's just go ahead and break that out. Hey, hold on. I want to point out. I just want to say. uplifted you bunch this week.
Friendship Balance
00:56:44
Speaker
You did. You did. There we go. No, you did. and I appreciate that. You really did. Okay. So I think I've bought myself, but it sounds like you a little bit, ah a little bit of leeway here, but it feels like you don't con you. I know. It feels like you're maxed out for the week. So now you're just fucking just jab. Well, yeah. mean, we've got to find an even little balance.
00:57:04
Speaker
I did a lot of great stuff for you this week. It's easy. It's now you it's time for me to undo all of that on Friday. Let it loose, baby. so that we can get right back to fifty fifty Isn't that where we're supposed to be? 50-50. Equilibrium.
00:57:18
Speaker
That's right. and Right now, I would say after those last couple seconds, we're probably at like 55-50. 45. So I don't have much leeway left. We still have another hour to go.
00:57:31
Speaker
So maybe, maybe i I kind of, you know. He's going to start actually turning on you soon. Yeah. I would start turning on him? No. Is that what you said? Him on you.
00:57:43
Speaker
Oh, no. I would, you say that again? He said, because the the equilibrium is off. I don't know.
Podcast History
00:57:50
Speaker
i was making a comment. He probably turned. It's fine.
00:57:54
Speaker
I would turn on him? No, I wouldn't turn on Victor. No, I'm saying Victor would turn on you. He's already turning on me. He's doing it right now. No, he was catching up to his good deeds that he did throughout the week. And then he would actually turn on you because he crossed that line. He's like, all right, I've met my quota. Yeah.
00:58:10
Speaker
yeah You get a good picture of what this is like? Yeah. Yeah, I think I got ah i think i kind of kind of knew what I was getting into coming in, to be honest. You know, I'm happy. I've seen a couple of the clips.
00:58:23
Speaker
I'm happy Atticus is here. I i am too. I missed him. it's It's not every day you meet a legend, number one. Let's start there. legend of what yeah mean you started this podcast no i didn't That's what Victor doing here for. He was here for a bulk of it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I joined like 30 episodes in or something.
00:58:43
Speaker
should really be talking to Chris Jones. but Yeah. Chris Jones. How's he doing? You know? No one knows. He's never from since. Yeah. We're thinking of you, Chris. That's right.
00:58:55
Speaker
if you're If you're somehow listening to this. I just remember. The only thing I remember. like I remember him being a good guy. I just remember him pissing in that hotel floor because he was so drunk. All right. Can we tell that story? app I think we have. We just kind of we feel like we're kind of throwing
Drunken Adventures
00:59:12
Speaker
a story right there. What is there more to it? Yeah. We just haven't really put a name until now. Yeah.
00:59:17
Speaker
Got to cut out the name part. no it's okay. We'll leave that. I just remember because you remember that you booked that hotel, that suite. Yep. Okay. And two bathrooms in there, by the way, two bathrooms in there. There were two bathrooms in there. Yes. Yes.
00:59:31
Speaker
There was one connected to the master. No. one and ah what is this? Philly? No. Atlantic city. Atlantic city. atlanticx city Okay. And I remember him and somebody else just coming in pitch drunk and we're all had like this. Jeff.
00:59:45
Speaker
Okay. I didn't want to say the name, but there you go. Dynamic duo. Oh yeah. yeah I just remember cause we all slug. We all had like designated sleepers boxes like 10 of us. So I slept on the floor and I remember we all brought a bottle. So I brought a bottle of lemon cello classic main.
00:59:59
Speaker
and Jeff comes in piss drunk after game last like 3 a.m. m and he's leaning over me and he's like we got to take this shot. We got it and I was like dude if you fall three ribs are quick like I've done like they're they're done dude. He's leaning.
01:00:14
Speaker
You're going to take this shot and I'm like going fucking ruin me right now. If you just fall going to ruin you. Yeah, you're right there on the floor. That's why I picked that. Anyways, I picked up a listen. So then if you know, you know, if you know, you know, so then they both come in piss drunk, whatever. I remember you had to put them to bed or something like that, didn't you?
01:00:34
Speaker
No, just told him to shut the fuck off. He tucked him in. Beautiful. So I remember being like the first one up. Like I got up and I was like, okay, nobody else is up. So I'm go to go shower. and then like right where the bathroom and the carpet is, i stepped and it was wet. And I was like, I was like one of these assholes like took a shower and like didn't dry off. You know, I just like walked around. So then I i showered, I did my thing and then Victor was up and he was like, yeah, I didn't get any sleep. These guys are menaces like this and that. And I was like, what happened? He's like, ah, this all that. and he was like, oh yeah.
01:01:07
Speaker
And then Chris just pissed on the carpet like all over. And I was like, oh, that's what I stepped in. I was like, oh, I was like, damn. He was like, these guys, the edge of the bathroom, you know? Yeah, I've seen worse. Yeah, yeah he was he was almost there. He was almost there. He made an effort, you know, and he was probably 15 seconds away from pissing on you and he made it there between that and three crack ribs. Probably.
01:01:29
Speaker
Hmm. Great time, though. Yeah. Should run it back. Yeah. Separate rooms, though. No, no, no. same How many people do we have with us in that room? Eight. I was going to say, there's eight of us.
01:01:40
Speaker
Have you been to Atlantic City? I have not. Beautiful time. I've heard it's a gorgeous
Atlantic City Reflections
01:01:46
Speaker
town. Yeah.
01:01:50
Speaker
What if we had Vegas, but it was just like fucking worse, man? Yeah. What if we had Vegas and it was in New Jersey? It was cold. Yeah. It's on it's on one of the shittiest bodies of water you could possibly imagine. Yeah. Yep.
01:02:05
Speaker
Yeah. It's 40 years after it was like even a relevant place. Yeah. Yeah. What did we even do? Went to the the pool party. Harrah's. That's right.
01:02:16
Speaker
Yeah. So it's like we didn't do any actual gambling, right? No, you know you guys didn't do you any actual gambling. i You guys hit the craps table. i I hit the craps table.
01:02:29
Speaker
You won me some money. i did. Oh, you won money? no, no. Mike won money. Yeah. Yeah, I did. And you felt good about it after that, and that's what kept you at the table. Yeah.
01:02:40
Speaker
I left the club to gamble. I was like, this shit's boring. I'm going to go hit crap. I'm not going to though. That wasn't as fun as I thought it would be, but... Why didn't he with
Fetty Wap and Celebrity Encounters
01:02:50
Speaker
you? Yeah, the pool party.
01:02:51
Speaker
No, I think he did. Who was who was playing? Just some random guy. It wasn't anyone. Oh, I don't know. I specifically always think that it's Fetty Wap that was playing there.
01:03:02
Speaker
I don't know why no sticks in my head. We we were there again for Fetty Wap. He opens every concert in New Jersey, actually. Hoboken City, you know? so That's right. Hoboken City.
01:03:13
Speaker
I saw Fetty Wap at the Newark airport one time. What? Just like strolling through? Just flying fucking regular, bro. Oh, okay. No security? No nothing? No, I mean, this was after his time a little bit. It was kind of sad, to be honest.
01:03:27
Speaker
It was just him and his boy. This would have been like 2019 or something. Him and his boy in economy class? I assume so. He was in the fucking United terminal with me. um You know, he went and sat down for dinner with with one of his one of his friends. I didn't i didn't didn't have the the balls to say hi. Didn't want start a rampage.
01:03:47
Speaker
Did I tell you guys that I bumped in Speaking of like just people just like in random places, did I tell you about Damar Hamlin? How I saw him in Pittsburgh? Yeah. So i didn oh so it was and it was about the yard line, back from
01:04:03
Speaker
It was um backyard. What happened? It's not the joke. i was made i didn say I was going to say at the hospital, but was like, yeah, yeah. I was just saying you saw him at a Pittsburgh Steelers game playing football. No, it wasn't. No, no, no. Holy shit. It's tomorrow. him Oh my God. I got to tell all my friends. No, I was at, um, it was backyard bra. So it was pit West Virginia, but I was at the pirates game.
01:04:27
Speaker
And so obviously, you know, the whole tailgate, the whole thing was fucking nuts. The whole North shore was not. So the pirates game was done and we were walking back and they were in the third quarter. So we're trying to get last minute tickets to see if there was any seats, but it was all sold out.
01:04:41
Speaker
Um, and this, like, you know, one of those black escalates is like up against, uh, one of those wooden barriers that the police put the black streets and, and, and the driver's like, we're going, we got to go through, like we have to go through, like we're going through the guys like you can't, you can't have Damar Hamlin. So then, so then somebody gets out, somebody gets out in the back of the car. Okay.
01:05:05
Speaker
And it just starts moving, just starts moving the barrier because they have to get in this parking garage. And I'm staring at this guy. I couldn't figure it out who it was. And then my cousin's girlfriend was like, that's the more Hamlet.
01:05:19
Speaker
Wow. And I'm like huge pull from the cousin's girlfriend. There's clutch because me and my cousin were doing like triple takes and I was like, i was like, i don't know. And she was like, no, it's the bar. I like pull them up. So I just go the bar.
01:05:31
Speaker
And it like, hey man, what's up? I go, holy shit. It was like, it's you. You survived. I thought you died. And so I saw you was the guy who didn't check the news after that game. A couple years ago, he's just been like a starting safety on the bills for a couple years. So he was So he was like, Hey, what's up? And i was like, Oh my God. So I was like, all right, well, it's the more Hamlet. I'm going to get a picture. And he was like, I gotta go. I gotta go. So because he moved the barrier. So then he had to get in the car and sneak in. But then like on his Instagram later, like he was on the sideline for her backyard brawl or something like that. But it was just, he went to pit. i'm assuming.
01:06:06
Speaker
Yeah, he he did. He did. I didn't know that. Frankly, didn't know much about it. Yeah. Until that, that one thing happened. But, you know, he's grown he's grown as a player. He's not that good of a safety, but he's fine.
01:06:21
Speaker
Yeah. Would maybe upgrade the spot in the draft personally, but who knows? Do you meet anybody famous in New York? You know what? No. Surprisingly, I have not met anybody famous.
01:06:32
Speaker
It's kind of annoying. I've never really, i don't think I've ever really run into anybody. Stop. I know. like I was like, well, it's part of the reason come here. i want to see like little people and like, must be the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Come on. want to see little people?
01:06:45
Speaker
Where's Jay-Z? You know? Yeah. Where's Beyonce? Come on, dog. They're not there. Yeah. $50 million dollars a estate in from Austin, Texas or something. Well, that's the thing. I'm not going to like run into like, oh, the only, I feel like the only chance that I have right now is Bradley Cooper because he's got that Philly cheesesteak place. You see that? Yeah, I did see that. I did see that. He's there like a apparently chopping it up. Yeah, he walks his neighborhood like every day or something like that. Yeah.
01:07:08
Speaker
Or maybe Adam
Adam Sandler's Style and Dress Codes
01:07:09
Speaker
Sandler. I'll catch you Adam Sandler or something like that. Just playing fucking basketball. Yeah. Just cooking motherfuckers in the biggest shorts you've ever seen in your life. Exactly.
01:07:18
Speaker
Somehow dribbling between his legs despite a sheet of fucking whatever that fucking fabric is. Those and one basketball shorts. What a fucking king, man. I love that guy. He shows up to like like ah movie events like that.
01:07:32
Speaker
Yeah, dude. it just He'll just fucking wear whatever man he showed up to the oscars adam sand but he did it for the gig or yeah was a gag yeah i don't think it's a gag i think he'd like i think he did the the oscars i think he's like worn a suit to movie premieres and shit before like i i think yeah didn't he get accepted uh he accepted like a kennedy award or something like a kennedy honor like he's he's worn like the tuxes before but obviously he's not choosing to you know yeah no no not as mo Yeah, that's why he makes all of his own movies with his friends where he just gets to go to fucking Hawaii and fuck around, make up the movie on the spot. I don't know. Does he still have that deal with Netflix that he was making like X amount of movies or something like that?
01:08:12
Speaker
Remember like he had that do i like think Sandy Wexler and all that was coming out. I thought he had like that deal with Netflix. Yeah. What was the one he was with with Jennifer Aniston? They did a couple. Murder Mystery. It was it was Murder Mystery? too ah okay Yeah.
01:08:27
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I remember like when he started Sandy Wexler or something. That's when he had that deal with Netflix. There you go. That's a guy that'll show up to a restaurant in fucking relaxed attire. Yeah.
01:08:39
Speaker
That's not socially acceptable. Yeah, but he's put a damn suit on. I know, right? But he's not going out dancing like that because he's not going out dancing at all. You know what I'm saying? Maybe could be going out dancing like that.
01:08:51
Speaker
Maybe. know what he gets into, man. and That's Adam Sandler. He could do whatever he wants. and And so can you. Yeah, 100%. And so can I. Never said you couldn't.
01:09:02
Speaker
Well, that's what I'm saying. Now I can go, I can you know show up in hoodies and everything like that. Who's to say I can't? Unless they got a ah like a restriction. like I feel like a lot of clubs still have, you've got to be wearing- Oh, yeah. Dress codes, yeah.
01:09:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. They're trying to keep- a Keep it. do you know? What do you know? Oh, no. What do you know? They're trying to keep people of color out of their club. Oh, because they've black people frequently wear basketball shoes. Yeah. White people.
01:09:34
Speaker
That's right. Hats, things of that nature. Yeah, no no basketball jerseys, basketball shoes, backwards caps, do rags. Or shorts that sad. Is that a thing? They really do. 100%. Yes.
01:09:47
Speaker
certain Certain clubs will, they'll say like athletic shoes or sneakers are not allowed to target. they still the But people still wear them and they don't. Sure, it just gives them license to keep the people they don't want to let in out of there. Yeah. Right. Or the people who don't hand the guy at the door $20.
01:10:05
Speaker
You ever do that once? You ever like slip a guy 20 to do something? The only time I thought of doing that was the same time that ah one of our friends got rejected from the line.
01:10:17
Speaker
That's the only time I thought about doing that. But then we all decided to like in group leave. It says, I think we had told the story on the podcast before, right? Yeah. And so I literally had it out because I thought my my fake was totally going to get caught.
01:10:31
Speaker
Yeah. just have the 20 wrapped around it. Yeah, exactly. But I haven't had to do it after that since. Surprisingly, i thought I would like get carded all the time.
01:10:42
Speaker
I didn't. No. No. No. And they barely look at it.
01:10:48
Speaker
What, with your... Where are you coming? No. i have Bars around, but like even locally. like You come back home, like the places I was going out to, like you hand the people the ID, they were like...
01:11:00
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, if you just work at like a fucking restaurant or something. You probably, yeah, you don't care as much. Yeah. It's honestly more college bars because they know people. Like a bar just in fucking Woolkit or something is not assuming that people are walking in with fake IDs. Right. And especially if you're at Tap and Barrel or something, the people working there probably know.
01:11:18
Speaker
They're probably friends with this kid's mom who's 18 trying to come in and get a beer or something. Yeah. yeah
Podcast Pacing and Farewell
01:11:26
Speaker
All right. Well, I think that about does it for one. That was a good one. I don't think so. Kind of limped to the finish. We did. Yeah, but that's all right. That happens sometimes. You got to have a high point in the episode. We were riding high. We had a killer third quarter.
01:11:41
Speaker
We got to sit the starters. Yeah, we ran it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all right. That happens. Yeah, so what? Xavier Worthy caught two touchdowns on us in the fourth quarter. We had the backup center. Yeah. star We were already up 40 to six. Yeah. It's fine. us hyping ourselves up about the end of our own episode. It's fine. This isn't like a waste of time or anything. This is not bullshit.
01:12:01
Speaker
Trying to convince the people listening. guys like this, right? yeah Yeah. Everyone fucking tuned out.
01:12:13
Speaker
You guys still like this part of the episode, right? I thought so. That's funny. It's good to chat. yeah well you know Like, rate, subscribe.
01:12:23
Speaker
ah but uss on tiktok you know, I got to go through the motions here, Austin. All right, come on. Got to pay the bills. Now that we begged you to keep listening, make sure to comment, like, and subscribe. Look, if you're already here, you're a fucking glutton for this shit. If you made it, thank you. You're either like related to one of us by blood or you like for some reason really love this shit. So, right. Or or you started the podcast when you were doing something and then it's just been running in the background. And now you're tuning back in. Yeah. You put your AirPods back in the case and it was just running on silent on your right? Yeah, I'm just going to say that this one I think was the most bro. Let's start a podcast podcast Mike. I swear to God if you don't even fucking sit here and start with me on that shit, you know it and it's true started with him to be fair. Yeah, this is what we do. Just let just let us do this out. this is that I'll stay out. i appreciate it. No, no, Put my nose where it didn't belong.