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Episode 137 - It's Not That Deep
21 Plays1 month ago
Jabroni; is it a word?
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Transcript
Intro Music and AI Involvement
00:00:02
Speaker
Nice. He did it. He did it. Just to please you. Yeah, I'm still going to edit this in post, but it's okay. See what happens when you bitch all the time. You get what you want.
00:00:14
Speaker
It's grown on me. You know what? This intro music's grown on me. Do I still love it? No, but it's grown on me. I can get down with it.
00:00:26
Speaker
This is why you can't speak in absolutes, Mike. You're always out here like, this shit sucks. Why don't we get somebody real to make this thing? And now you're out here like, oh, you know what? Hold on. First of all, give my boy Victor some credit. He has some musical background. Do I love the fact that AI wrote it for him? No, I don't. Hold on. My musical background. Yeah, my musical. Yeah. One, nothing to do with Austin said. Two, nothing to do with my musical background. I did absolutely nothing but write One sentence that said, make an AI trap beat with lo-fi vibes.
00:01:00
Speaker
And that's it. Maybe he was saying that he knows you have the skills to make a good intro because music inclined. So even if you don't use instruments and whatnot, you have the brain to type out in AI what you're looking at. I think anyone could type that out. Anybody could type that out.
00:01:19
Speaker
But that's what I'm saying. Like any any
Friendship, Language, and Cultural Slang
00:01:21
Speaker
jabroni can type and make me trap lo fi beats. But like you you have the brain power. You have the musical power to be like, make me blah, blah, blah with a little blah, blah, blah and a little blah, blah, blah. and It would come out nice.
00:01:33
Speaker
But he just said that he didn't do that. Yeah, no, I know. like But I'm saying that he could. You know how much better it could be? oh yeah. No, I agree. I'm just trying to get the best out of all you guys. We're we're supposed to be friends. you know I want the best for everybody here. well yeah That's that's how this this how this all goes, Mike. you know We just said the other episode how we're trying to make you a better person and now the cycle is coming back.
00:01:58
Speaker
yeah It's not going to work, but yeah. i mean i guess so i you know ah A man can try. can try i got to ask you. So just for the audience, we're we're here in episode 136, which, you know, has been about four weeks since the last like we've basically recorded four episodes in one week.
00:02:18
Speaker
Mm hmm. When we look at it. Right. Beautiful. I mean, we'll see how we'll see you in like 40 minutes, you know, considering we don't have much to talk about today. But I do want to ask you, Mike, again, first episode we've recorded since Friday.
00:02:32
Speaker
How many times have you used the word jabroni in the last three days? Because you've used it in the first two. You've used it twice in the first two minutes. Listen, jabroni is one of those words that you you ever like ah forget something and then you remember it and then you use it a lot. Like jabroni is one of those words. No.
00:02:49
Speaker
No, I can't say that's happened to me. Get the fuck out of here. It's like, you know what? I forgot that was a thing. And then you do it to like bring it back for a little nostalgia. And then you know you get over it after a while. Jabroni, Jamoke.
00:03:03
Speaker
um These are all words that I feel like you're you're capable of using. I feel like you picked it up from the old Italians when you go to play cards with them. But it's we got we got to cut it out, man.
00:03:16
Speaker
Yeah. I think we need to keep it alive, if anything. These older guys are dying and we need to keep the tradition going. don't know. I don't know about that. I don't know about that one. You want a heritage to be dead?
00:03:29
Speaker
That's what they did at Christopher Columbus. They killed him. They killed him. Okay. but We want to defend Christopher. That's not who I'm choosing to defend today. Yeah. But it's how culture evolves, Mike. Everybody comes up with a new way of saying things.
00:03:44
Speaker
And, you know, we document for history how people used to talk, but we say, you know, that's an antiquated way of speaking. It's, it's lame. And now we're onto the new. Yeah, exactly.
00:03:57
Speaker
But what I, okay, so now this is a good, this is a good thing you brought up because um I want to know this because I agree with you, right? Like old, you know, old things have to die, right? And new things have to take over. But sometimes people are incapable of weaning off the only thing they know, right? Like for example, you know, it's the common, like if we're talking about culture, right? Like it's the common thing where it's like, um,
00:04:25
Speaker
like in the Italian culture, right? Like the the a lot of the Italian you hear here, you hear here. Yeah, that's right. yeah the A lot of Italian language that you hear here is actually a very dialected form that came from, obviously, from olden times when people were leaving after World War II to escape kindm communism and all that.
00:04:47
Speaker
And it kind of it came from, you know, it comes from a lot of people who were uneducated who didn't go from to school and this and that. So, like, example, like my grandparents, they didn't go to school. My grandfather didn't go to school and all that. So how can I sit there and tell him,
00:05:00
Speaker
Like, oh, these words you're saying are are wrong and they're dead and you need to up your terms and learn your language when like, that's the only thing they know. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying that we have to, sorry. No, no, go ahead. I'm not saying that we have to tell those people that the way that they're talking is wrong.
00:05:21
Speaker
What I'm saying is when you adopt that language, it sounds out of date, right? You can hang out with your grandpa and he could say jabroni and you'd be like, okay, cool. I know, I know what you're talking about.
00:05:33
Speaker
But then when you go hang out with your friends, you don't take that with you. You know, was going to say part one, no one else. But it's not a part of you. It's not a part of you. You relearned it on Friday. you're putting it back into vocabulary.
00:05:48
Speaker
Yeah. No one else around you says that's what makes That's what makes it unique. that That's what makes you unique? That's what I'm saying. That's what makes anybody unique.
00:05:59
Speaker
Okay. Well, let's just see if this sticks for the next three weeks. It won't. If you're still using it in three weeks, then I will say, you know what, Mike? You're right. I will give you that. and And you know what? If you give it up, then I'm going to let you know that you're letting down your heritage.
00:06:15
Speaker
That's right. Okay, first of all, jabroni is not a really like direct Italian word. Okay, my grandfather never used jabroni in his life. I thought he did. But it is an Italian. He doesn't speak English.
00:06:27
Speaker
He doesn't even know what a jabroni is. You never know. It's an Italian-American word, though. It's an Italian-American word. It's probably from the Sopranos if I had to guess. I don't think they've made up language.
00:06:40
Speaker
yeah No, it's not a made up language, but I'm sure they said it.
00:06:44
Speaker
I don't think so. You think there's a thing? You think it would be a Google? I'm looking it up. How many times can we Google how many times the word fuck was used in the Sopranos?
00:06:57
Speaker
That's definitely recorded somewhere. It has to be tallied. It is. pass And it's a lot. Of course. You want to make a guess? Well, how many? ah So I've never seen it.
00:07:08
Speaker
ah How many seasons was it? You've never watched The Sopranos? I never watched it. That's crazy. Have you watched The Godfather? yeah. Number two was the best. Okay, the reason why I thought it was Italian is because people thought...
00:07:22
Speaker
It's either giabon or giambon, which is Italian for ham, right? Giambon, something like that. Close. Oh, ham is prosciutto. Okay, well, this is what Wikipedia says to me.
00:07:34
Speaker
Anyway, it's basically, it was made famous by the Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Oh my God. So notable no notable Italian Dwayne the Rock Johnson ah is is who made giabroni famous.
00:07:50
Speaker
So don't come here and give me that cultural bullshit when Dwayne The Rock Johnson's out here making words famous. No, Dwayne The Rock Johnson is a wrestling personality that used it for comedic purposes.
00:08:04
Speaker
nobody in their Nobody in their normal course of the day says the word jabroni. yeah That's an opinion. That's an opinion. Maybe somebody does. You're just not around those people.
00:08:16
Speaker
You're not around those people to know. Thank God I'm not around those people. and youre In fact, you're not being culturally sensitive so to the people that that do use it. so So the Google... like You know how... Google added in like an AI overview, so anytime you Google anything, it shows like a...
Popularity, Notoriety, and Legal Battles
00:08:34
Speaker
It compiles all the articles or whatever and gives you like a synopsis. So it does say, like, a foolish or contemptible person believing to have Italian origins.
00:08:44
Speaker
ah This Quora.com, which, you know, Quora is the... you know Kind of like ah the Thrillist or the Trillist.com or whatever. those the all-knowing The all-knowing. you know what right next Right next to the onion.
00:08:59
Speaker
Can't be wrong. yeah Someone goes like, oh, someone reported it on Urban Dictionary as Italian slang for asshole. And one of the replies is no, it's not. No Italian word sounds like that.
00:09:10
Speaker
Not even in juvenile slangs. So, Jabroni just might not even be anything. Yeah. Yeah. yeah
00:09:19
Speaker
right. Well, I'm glad ah i'm glad we can clear this up for the for the fans and the listeners. So as a New Yorker, you're going to tell me that jabroni is not a thing, but you walk around and listen to everybody bing bong all day and that's all right?
00:09:35
Speaker
Like you're just cool with that? First of all, that is you projecting because nobody here New York says bing bong. I've seen the clips. I've seen them. You've seen them on TikTok, Mike.
00:09:50
Speaker
I've seen them. They're wearing the tracksuits and they're in the deli. like Nobody says that during the normal course of yeah of the day. Just like they don't say jabroni.
00:10:00
Speaker
People say jabroni. No, they don't. No, they don't. You fictional characters and Dwayne the Rock Johnson say jabroni. But Dwayne The Rock Johnson has celebrity pool. so people like people must be using it.
00:10:17
Speaker
No, Mike. when and When people think of Dwayne The Rock Johnson, they say the word jabroni. For sure. i don't know i don't even think like I don't know anybody else that says that. And maybe that's me being ignorant. but
Food, Festivities, and Fast Food Critiques
00:10:30
Speaker
Maybe in the wrestling community. Maybe other wrestlers say jabroni. But I doubt it. Because that's that's his thing.
00:10:36
Speaker
He single-handedly probably kept that word alive. and and i'm And I'm here for it. I know you are. Are there any other words that you use like that? Yeah. It's a good question.
00:10:49
Speaker
I don't really... what What do you mean, use like that? Like like like weird sounding words that you quote on, like, keep alive.
00:11:01
Speaker
Like, do you say jive turkey? Jive turkey? No, I've never heard it. What is that? You liar. You've never heard of that word. I've heard of, no, no, I haven't heard of jive turkey.
00:11:14
Speaker
That's like a 70s term. I've heard jive talking, but that was that was a term for, um that was a 70s disco song that was a term for um like black music culture.
00:11:25
Speaker
Or how about how about ah aces? Like you're aces, kid. Okay, now we're getting, we're getting feel like we have to get into that territory for Mike though, the way that he's talking about jabroni.
00:11:38
Speaker
jabroni is it's kind of it's um i'd say similar to jive turkey i mean i i like means a foolish or inept person i like to use lads every once in a while as lads an old term no it's more of like a british term yeah like i've definitely heard people say lad yeah I mean, there are words that I like to use in in other languages because they sound funnier rather than in English, but I don't think that's really what we're going for.
00:12:08
Speaker
Like iskulin? Yeah, i don't I don't use the piskulin too much. I do i just like PP. I think it's funny. You know what I'm saying? um Yeah, you abused the hell out of that word last time.
00:12:23
Speaker
Yeah, no, I did. i did. Yeah. Yeah. but there's some words that like to substitute and i like to use in other languages because they just sound funnier so i just do it you know but no rhyme or reason there's no rhyme or reason for it vic we have to make we have to make it like a mission of ours to to listen out for those words now yeah there's definitely more like a hundred percent and now that we've kind of streisand affected it we're we're talking about it so now we're going to notice it even more when he does it
00:12:55
Speaker
stryisand Like Barbara Streisand? Yeah, the Streisand effect is like um when you talk about something that people weren't noticing, it gives it more of a like... You're more alert of it. Yeah, you're only you're only like aware of it because someone talked about it. If no one had talked about it, you wouldn't know. know And I think it's because... Let me... I forgot what the... It's it's because of Barbara Streisand.
00:13:21
Speaker
um I wonder why, though. I never heard this. That's what I'm saying. um It's more to like hide something, right? So it's like... um Oh, it's because i think before...
00:13:36
Speaker
She like people were taking photographs. She built a house on like the cliff sides of Malibu or her house was already built there or whatever. and She bought it and people were taking photos of her house, not because they wanted to see her house, but because they were trying to document the erosion of the mountains like over a certain time period. And she was telling people not to take photos of her house.
00:13:57
Speaker
So because she was putting in all these, like she's like through an assist and assist. So because she filed that, more people were like, oh, now I want to take photos of her house and like or like the land erosion or whatever.
00:14:10
Speaker
um So it literally, because she talked about it, more people knew about it. Yeah, yeah. It's like the more you tell somebody don't touch the button, they're going to touch the button.
00:14:24
Speaker
um Sort of, yeah.
00:14:27
Speaker
Hmm. I know she did that wicked killer duet with Neil Diamond. You don't bring me flowers. You don't so see someone used it. I was going to bring this up, actually, because some they like one of the one of the uses on like Wikipedia is actually talking about um the Drake and Kendrick, ah like the lawsuit that Drake filed where he was like,
00:14:54
Speaker
um oh, they were pumping in whatever the numbers of the, you know, how he sued his record label. And because people, he was saying people like pumped and dumped it more. So like it says like, since the lawsuit, the song sales have increased by 440% because it. Yeah.
00:15:12
Speaker
because of it yeah Because he made it a big deal. Yeah. So did he sue after the Superbowl? Did we ever figure that out? Yeah. He was basically counter sued today, which is why i was going to bring it up.
00:15:23
Speaker
Um,
00:15:26
Speaker
um I got to figure... Wait, wait, wait. Countersuit? Not like countersuit, but like they filed an injunction to um like The label filed an injunction to drop the suit hu um today. and in...
00:15:41
Speaker
like in their whatever, in the in the filing, UMG says, like yeah, man, you filed this lawsuit because you lost. It's like, you lost the beef. This is the only reason you're filing the lawsuit.
00:15:52
Speaker
You're trying to save face and make it look like we, like the label pumped the numbers, but in actuality, the song was just good and you like you lost the beef. i don't know what to tell you. Right.
00:16:03
Speaker
And that is kind of crazy. Yeah, literally, this is this is one of the lines from the lawsuit. Instead of accepting the loss, like the unbathered Instead of accepting the loss like the unbothered rap artist he often claims to be, he has sued his own record label in a misguided attempt to salve his own wounds.
00:16:21
Speaker
Why his own record label? Because their own but him and Kendrick are under the same label. But I thought he had his own label. I thought he was under his own. Yeah, but it's own. It's a subsidiary. Oh, it's a division. Yeah. Okay.
00:16:36
Speaker
Which is wild in the first place. Yeah. Yeah. And Drake more has more than enough resources to be on his own label, by the way. And it sounds like he's on the path two being to do starting his own label if he's going to burn bridges like this. Yeah.
00:16:53
Speaker
Well, I mean, again, I think a lot of these companies, want to monopolize, but – there aren't that many big record companies because they will buy all these smaller ones up. yeah So he gets the benefit of getting to own, because I think it's what OVO records, he gets to own that and he gets to do what he wants and not have any, i think like artistic or creative, like he gets to keep that. So what I'm saying artistic and creative control is it's still his, but he gets to use the the brand power and all the, all the resources that UMG provides. Yeah.
00:17:27
Speaker
right Still kind weird to sue them, but you know, definitely. And, and, but, well, okay. So what was the, the counter sue was, Oh no, that's what you were talking about. They filed it just to have the lawsuit dropped and they were basically like, you're doing this cause you lost. That's all. Yeah. Okay.
00:17:45
Speaker
Which you did. Brutal. I mean, brutal yeah, definitely brutal.
00:17:51
Speaker
Oh man. Well, ah It's St. Paddy's Day. Happy St. Paddy's Day. Happy St. Paddy's Day, guys. I don't know. ah It's just an excuse to drink. I don't really um don't do anything fun for it. I think I'm just, you know, kind of like you said in like, oh, is it two episodes ago? Like we're too old to go out or whatever. I'm just too old to do anything for it.
00:18:13
Speaker
Yeah,
Grocery Store Comparisons and Preferences
00:18:14
Speaker
it's not it's not one of those holidays that I'm like really, that I really like recognize, I guess. Yeah. Like I'm not out here drinking green beers or dressing up or doing anything. Like ah literally no plans. And here we are recording. Yeah, I know.
00:18:28
Speaker
for For the third time technically this weekend. Yeah. i think the I think the only good thing out of it is the food, really. I mean – and why I don't even, I don't know about that. Corned beef kind of, it's overrated.
00:18:41
Speaker
Corned beef is absolutely overrated. Now I will say i had a beautiful corned beef sandwich made by my parents yesterday. um Yeah, just because overrated doesn't mean it's bad. You know what? with With the bread that your girlfriend made, I put it in between the little sourdough pieces. It was it was wonderful.
00:18:58
Speaker
How was it? Some cabbage, delicious. Beautiful. That's what to Outside of that, I think corned beef just kind of overrated. It's good, but like – It's overplayed, man. Corned beef, cabbage. like Those are like the the the meats that like you really have to put in effort, in my opinion, for it to taste good.
00:19:18
Speaker
Like you can't – Of course. Why wouldn't you? No, but there are so many other meats that are easy, breezy, little salt and butter. Come on, dog. It's the point of cooking. Oh, my God. No, I'm saying meat is bad enough that you got to like douse it. That's like when you go to a sushi place and you have to like you get like a bad piece of sushi. So you got to like really dip it in the soy sauce. You know what i mean?
00:19:42
Speaker
Just because you're like, I think you're getting bad pieces sushi like that. Well, you know, like... The ones that that, if you get the assortment... Yeah, from what? From a grocery store? the gas they shoots and I've been in that position. and that and I've absolutely needed to use the soy sauce there.
00:20:00
Speaker
but Most of the time, it's not. But I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not a fan. ah the the because you But you're making it sound like you're not a fan because you don't want to take too long to give it effort.
00:20:11
Speaker
No, I'm saying that the it it tastes bad enough that you have to really put in effort for it to taste good, is what I'm saying. No, come on. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. You have to do it right, but you have to do it right.
00:20:24
Speaker
You just got to do it right. I've had at it like from restaurants, and I'm like, nah, not for me. Okay, I mean, I can have it from restaurants too, and it wouldn't be good. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. you know yeah Objectively, Mike, don't yuck my yum, okay? I don't know what the fuck that means. But but stop yelling at me. Just stop right there.
00:20:46
Speaker
I don't know what that means. You're trying to push this on me, Mike. and i'm saying No, what I'm saying is you're judging corned beef off of nothing because it takes too long. nothing I've had the food. I just don't like it. Where'd you where'd you eat this corned beef? What restaurant? An Italian restaurant?
00:21:00
Speaker
A Mexican restaurant? Where'd you have it? Mike, I've had At Mexican restaurant? That's what i'm saying. That's what I imagine. That's where he's having it, where he's like, it's not good. No, that's not true. I've had it at at at various Irish events back on previous St. Paddy's Day. i've had I've had family make it. I've had friends make it. I've had all these different ways that I could have had that. And
Playing 'Would You Rather' and Ethical Dilemmas
00:21:20
Speaker
every single time I'm like...
00:21:22
Speaker
Just not for me. you know Not good. and i mean, that's fair. You gave it multiple times. I'll give you that. I'm just saying it's it's if done right it it if done right, it's it's good.
00:21:32
Speaker
Is it something I would eat all the time? No, listen. I'm a pastrami guy. I'll take pastrami 10 times out of 10. I'll take pastrami 10 times out of 10 over corned beef. But Corned beef is good. I mean, am I having it all the time? No. And do they you know do they overhype it for St. Patrick's Day?
00:21:50
Speaker
Yes. But there's some good corned beef out there. You got to dig around and find it. You know what I'm saying? Like anywhere we go. Listen, we talk about this all the time, guys. We are spoiled in the in the quality of ethnic ethnic cuisine in this state. You just got to go around and dig it.
00:22:07
Speaker
Which means that if it should be relatively easy for us to get good corned beef. So in my in my in my experience, I should have had good corned beef by now.
00:22:18
Speaker
But still, to this day, if I have a whole lineup of of meat options, corned beef is probably close to dead last for what I would pick. Yeah. For sure.
00:22:29
Speaker
It's, yeah. It's not there. It's not it, man. i You know what was thinking about the other day? Speaking of good food, I was thinking about the other day? but Dominic and Vinny's pizza.
00:22:40
Speaker
God, I haven't had it in such a long time. But every time I think about it, I think about Victor and I's experience, specifically mine, where a classmate of ours in high school, when we were in high school or just outside, was supposed to make a half cheese, half buffalo chicken, started making a full buffalo chicken,
00:23:00
Speaker
realized basically a good portion of the way in that it should have been half. And instead of starting over, scraped off the chicken off the half, but left the oils and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:14
Speaker
Cooked it, ate it, still delicious. I couldn't even make it home, bro. I had to stop at the stop and shop and blow it up, dude. Well done. That is such a you problem, bro. That pizza was great. You don't remember that? No, that pizza was good.
00:23:30
Speaker
But also, you're talking about it like they poisoned you. You would have eaten the other half. With the buffalo chicken and still had to blow your butt out. No, no, no, no, no. But what I'm saying is because the oils were left from the buffalo. like He scraped the buffalo chicken off, but the oils were still in the cheese portion.
00:23:49
Speaker
Right. But wouldn't you have had the other half of the pizza with those oils in it anyways? I wouldn't have had as much. I wouldn't have had as much oil. Okay. what though The pizza was 100% oil. Okay. Not 50% oil. it sounds It sounds like you have a really, really weak stomach.
00:24:04
Speaker
Yeah, maybe. yeah we we and why did you Why didn't you just go there? Because it didn't it hit. It didn't hit. oh Also, I know you have a weak stomach. We've talked about it, but I need that part for the clip. I'm not trying to make funny here.
00:24:21
Speaker
That's where the clip will cut off to get the laughs. but so I'm sacrificing my health for content. That's fucked up. He has a business mind. yeah He's got to set up the clips.
00:24:32
Speaker
Speaking of um speaking bad food oh or or not good food experience, I have i had my... next ah unpleasant food experience.
00:24:44
Speaker
What is good with you and have... like don't Just go to good restaurants, man. What the fuck's going on? No, I think this is a thing now, Vic. I think he's going to restaurants and I think he's looking for things that are wrong.
00:24:55
Speaker
now not Interesting. now this one Well, I mean, you guys won't agree with me because you never will, but I think you guys would would be like, all right. i went to I went to a Chipotle.
00:25:09
Speaker
Already a mistake. I'm sorry. What? Chipotle. like it's It's one of those restaurants for me where I know like if I go there, it's not going to be good for me. But anyway, sorry. Continue.
00:25:20
Speaker
In what way? My stomach just doesn't agree with... yeah as I'm going to say the complete opposite. I love Chipotle, and I have usually the opposite effects, but i do understand...
00:25:33
Speaker
that one incredibly hit or miss depending on where do we with like we whiffed on this one. Like the one, the one in downtown new Haven missed every single time.
00:25:43
Speaker
Awful. God awful. The one in West Haven. Yeah, pretty good. all right. That one hits. Okay. But that's, that's the thing. It's a hit or miss. So I, and I don't, I understand. Uh, but yeah, my, go ahead. Good. Tell us the, uh, also like, i'm I'm glad you said that because that's why I'm so scared to try a wing stop because I hear terrible things about every branch.
00:26:06
Speaker
everyone Apparently, the ranch is the most ah like the commodity there, like the ranch dressing. I heard that you know in multiple um locations that like the ranch is too salty. They fucked it up. I'm so scared to try a Wingstop, but I also know it tastes very good.
00:26:24
Speaker
try it Try it when you come back to your parents. The one that's close to us... I think is solid. I will be honest. When I had the first half of the, like the bread that I got from you guys, um, one of the things I used as a condiment, um,
00:26:42
Speaker
Basically, I used the bread as a vessel to have more Wingstop Ranch. I'm going to be completely honest. I was dipping the bread in the ranch. Fuck it. What did roll? And I was putting a little bit of Mike's Hot Honey on the top. Ooh.
00:26:54
Speaker
Probably disgusting to to the normal human. Trying to
Show Reflections and Closing Banter
00:26:58
Speaker
hurt your stomach? that Listen. At like 1 a.m. m when I don't feel like actually cooking anything, two two toasted slices of that bread.
00:27:08
Speaker
Listen, boys, i i can't judge because that night we all met up to podcast after my two filet of fish before podcasting. I went for two more when I got home.
00:27:19
Speaker
I have four Filet-O-Fish. That's crazy. Holy shit. Oh my God. And how come, now listen to this, the the price of the a la carte, just the Filet-O-Fish at the OG McDonald's that we all know and love was $4.99.
00:27:37
Speaker
And how come at my local McDonald's it was $5.49? five forty nine Because they knew you were coming back for more. yeah got Why they gouging me?
00:27:47
Speaker
why are they yeah yeah doing them what is it the ah Wendy's like thought about doing this last year was like surge pricing so they were changing the pricing of their menu based on what time and how many people were there i immediately got shut down they didn't actually implement it I think you're like what the fuck but No, but I thought that was more based on time. I think i think yeah any franchise does that based on location, like slight price increase and stuff like that. But Wendy's was just like 2 p.m. Let's raise the price a buck. yeah People are like, who the fuck are you?
00:28:19
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, the local Duncans here in Wolcott differ. Like the one in the middle of the town. Yeah. They differ on like, it varies by like a couple cents, but like Merida road cheaper.
00:28:31
Speaker
I don't really, I can't remember which one was cheaper and which one's but know. would imagine that cheaper one. Yeah. I know it's like a medium ice there does not cost the same as the medium one, like a medium ice at the other one. And it's only a couple cents, but like, it's still stupid because I'm pretty sure they're owned by the same people.
00:28:47
Speaker
Probably. But anyway, go go go to your Chipotle story. We went on a food tangent, but I did have four filet of fish. All four equally delicious, but not good for me. Anyways.
00:28:58
Speaker
um we Hold on. Sorry. I know. We're we're we're deviating. you told me You're telling me that you had four filet of fish that day and you didn't shit your pants? Negative.
00:29:09
Speaker
Yeah. You go and you have ah a couple of of buffalo chicken oil on a pizza and all of a sudden it's an um emergency. yeah I just remember Victor being like, I can't believe you're resorting to a stop and shop bathroom. I was like, dog, this is how bad it is. all right.
00:29:25
Speaker
I also hate public bathrooms. So I would say that. I mean, I do too, but I i was not going to make it. I was just not going to be. Hold on. By the way, this is, this is the time for, for this kind of question. You have to take a dump in a public bathroom.
00:29:36
Speaker
You squatting it or you sitting down on that toilet? Dog, listen, I'm sitting. ah What do you want me to do? Air cheek on the seat? No, you could put the toilet paper around or the seat cover, but I'm sitting, dude It has to be comfort at all times.
00:29:50
Speaker
You guys want to hear something? Crazy. When I come, when I like carry, sometimes I'll carry like a fanny pack or I'll carry a bag with me in that bag. And again, like I said, I hate public restrooms. I will not go if I don't have to.
00:30:05
Speaker
Sometimes I'll carry wet wipes just in case I sanitize the bowl with, with the wipes that's jeans and dry cloth and
00:30:17
Speaker
And then if I have to go, I have to go. That's genius, though. You know what? I don't care if I have flushable. I don't care if the wet ones are flushable or not. They're going down the toilet. I don't care if I fuck up some other, some random businesses plumbing who gives a shit. But like, yeah I'm just saying. Fuck that Burger King.
00:30:32
Speaker
Fuck that Burger King. Exactly. Plumbing if I want to. and And it wouldn't be Burger King. I would never be caught dead at a Burger King, by the way. But, you know, anywhere else. Anyway, sorry, Mike. i act the No, this is good. this is We're doing good, guys. We're doing all right.
00:30:48
Speaker
No, this is nice. No, look, I went to Chipotle, and I overall usually have a good experience. So I go there, and I was, you know, um first of all, they got nothing on the menu. It's either bowl or burrito, and that's it.
00:31:04
Speaker
There's no in between. which You can go, like, off-menu on some shit, but, like, that just requires you to, like... and I feel like that just pisses off the workers. You know what i mean? if you're like, oh, can I get a quesadilla?
00:31:16
Speaker
can I get tacos? Exactly. Even though it's like, I think the tacos are on the menu, but like, all right. I digress. Yeah, I think they are. ah Well, like specialty ones. So I wanted a burrito.
00:31:27
Speaker
And they have the tortillas there. And I said, hey, can I? They're like, hi, a bowl or burrito. So they asked me, bowl or burrito? I said, can I do a burrito?
00:31:38
Speaker
And they said, oh, sorry, no burritos. The machine's broke.
00:31:43
Speaker
But I'm like, the machine's there and the tortillas there. I don't know. Don't they? Don't they? Oh, they like press it to heat it up quick. Yeah. Oh, I see. I see. But I'm like, but they have the tortillas right in front of me.
00:31:55
Speaker
And she's like, yeah, sorry, no tortillas. The machine's broke. But I'm like, what does the machine do for me to get the burrito? so I'm like, okay. Did you tell them, no, I don't care. Just make me a burrito. I sounded like I didn't have an option. Right. So at this point I'm like, there's a line right behind me. I'm pressured. Right. I'm like, all right, give it to me.
00:32:14
Speaker
Start sweating. So I, I, I got my bowl, uh, obviously of what I wanted in a burrito. um, The gu guac looked not good.
00:32:28
Speaker
Okay. So I didn't get it. You know, you know, you could tell guac is really oxidized when that color changes. Yeah. yeah Yeah. Yeah. And it was, it's just oxygen, but it was still like, eh.
00:32:39
Speaker
So then I get a fountain drink. I said, I said, can I get a fountain drink? First of all, how come at every Chipotle the chips are stale? Aren't they supposed to be the freshest part? the chips are always stale those things are sitting in bags on top of the counter for like hours man they're supposed to be like the freshest thing but anyhow so i get a fountain drink and and the person who rung me out was like oh well if you get a fountain drink you can only get the lemonades like if you want a soda like you have to buy the bottles behind here and i was like okay i was like well i was gonna get the lemonade anyways you know
00:33:14
Speaker
So then i get my fountain drink cup. I go get some ice. I pour my lemonade. You guys know me. I do my own research. I push with my hand one of the fountain things.
00:33:25
Speaker
There's liquid coming out. The fountain the fotain drink is not broken. But I mean, obviously, I didn't like try. I needed to taste it. Maybe something's wrong. Maybe there's no carbonation. But I'm like, was this a gimmick to make me pay more for soda?
00:33:39
Speaker
Or was this just, you know, like the fountain's truly broken? But like I pushed a couple of those selections and they were working. And then I sat down to eat my bowl and it was just kind of kind of average. The meat was good. I usually get the carnitas.
00:33:52
Speaker
I like it. It was good. But it was just very, very underwhelming experience. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't get my burrito, even though there's tortillas right there. You know, couldn't figure that one out.
00:34:04
Speaker
What time did you go? i would say I would say between 11.30 and 12. In the afternoon? Yes. Oh, that's interesting. If you had gone at like, what, like 45 minutes before closing and there's like, fuck this guy, I'm not rolling a burrito at fucking 9.15 at night or something like that.
00:34:23
Speaker
like I could understand that. Not really, but I get it. ah Same with the foundry. Maybe they turned, i don't know. that That's weird. don't know what else to say. That's... i I'm baffled that word're we're talking about this. Listen, I wasn't going to say it. um I'm letting them rock. I'm letting them rock. Vic, roll with it for a second. But Mike, come on. What are we talking about, dude?
00:34:48
Speaker
You didn't get your tortilla? Are you ready to dox a business? You didn't get your tortilla? Cut them out. Cut them out. right This one was also in the same plaza. Victor would know This this one was in the same plaza as Trader Joe's in Weeha.
00:35:03
Speaker
So I went to Trader Joe's because I haven't been there in years. And what's what's the get up? What's the deal? what's the what's the deal What? You don't understand Trader Joe's? is Trader Joe's such a big thing? Why is Trader Joe's such a big thing? Like, what's the getup? Dude, it's amazing in there. yeah Yeah. Their whole thing is that they're like, you know, organic food and... They got some cool stuff. They got cool frozen items. They got some cool snacks.
00:35:30
Speaker
but But don't... It's relatively cheap. I will say that, that the prices were good. You know what? The eggs were $4.99 and they were wiped. Immediately wiped. Oh, yeah. i want him there but yeah I went in there on Wednesday when I came up and saw you.
00:35:45
Speaker
And um yeah, same thing. It was just empty. But like what's what's the get-up? Some of their stuff is good. Some of their frozen stuff like is is pretty good. But like what's the get-up? don't Doesn't every every store kind of offer the same stuff?
00:35:58
Speaker
No, they have they have really good options for people with dietary restrictions. Yeah. like They got a lot of non-dairy options that are really good. They've got a lot of... um But so does other places, no?
00:36:11
Speaker
I feel like we answered the question. I feel like we did answer the question, too. What's what's the get-up? It's cheap. They got cool frozen items and cool snacks. Yeah. what's Hold on. what that i need that's it I think the real question is what problem do you have with Trader Joe's? Yeah, have they bag my own groceries?
00:36:27
Speaker
The fuck? It was probably busy. They usually do it for me. Maybe I'm just cuter than you and they like i just walked look I just walked in there and I was like, it was cool. And and i've and I've been to them before. I haven't been to the one I was Hartford in a while.
00:36:40
Speaker
And there are stuff i that I bought there that I've had to taste good. Don't get me wrong, but i just I don't understand the hype. I feel like a lot of grocery stores offer similar things. So I'm just like, okay, you know, like it's just another grocery store. What are we going nuts about?
00:36:55
Speaker
The egg price was great. I was like, okay, I'm down with that. You know, I feel like, I feel like we just named really strong things. Yeah. They have better prices. They have good organic food and they have dietary options. Okay.
00:37:09
Speaker
Yeah. they mean ah Your own groceries. and I'm going I'm going to to you two things and you tell me if this is good. Right. So what did you say? You said better prices. What else did you say? I said it's organic food. Okay. it was i said cool I said cool snacks. Okay. next And then they got dietary options. i'm going to I'm going to say two things to you and you guys are going to tell me it's not the same thing, but listen to this.
00:37:30
Speaker
I'm going to say something and you're going to know exactly what talking about. Better ingredients, better pizza, Papa John's. Does that mean it's better? Does that mean it's better? It's not better. Just because they say it is doesn't mean it is.
00:37:44
Speaker
ah Okay. Don't look at, look at, look at, look at they're rubbing his eyes so much. It's the same shit you guys are. tell So you're going to tell me Papa John's pizza is good. That is their tag. They are lying to you. That's their tagline. We are telling you about our personal experiences.
00:38:00
Speaker
So just because somebody tells me it's good doesn't mean it's good. You know what I'm saying? What a classic Mike thing to do where he's like, hear me out, listen here. And then he says something totally unrelated. and it's It's absolutely related. It's absolutely, so related. You can't even see it.
00:38:15
Speaker
It's so related. Oh my God. You're not even looking at it because it's so related. Papa John's also a mediocre pizza. Yeah. Not going to lie.
00:38:26
Speaker
Are they the ones that do the stuffed crust one? I kind of want to try it. Everybody does. yes Well, yeah, i was goingnna say Domino's started doing it, and I would rather get Domino's than Papa John's. don't know about that. you don't You don't know? You would rather get Papa John's over Domino's? I tell you what, I haven't had a long time since high school, but you know when you're down on your luck, it wasn't that bad. Little Caesar's Pizza? A little hot and ready? Okay, yeah. that that it's That's in the category of good, but I'm saying if we're talking strictly Papa John's or Domino's,
00:38:54
Speaker
Yeah. You're taking Papa John's in that fight. Where does Pizza Hut stand in that? Right in the middle. Right in middle. it's It's tough. We don't have any. They just shut down all like the Pizza Hut person. Like there's no Pizza Huts in Connecticut for one. And two, um all like the personal pan pizzas in the targets are getting phased out essentially. Well, in and all the stores now, you can't sit down and eat in them. It's like yeah just you just pick up pizza. Yeah.
00:39:23
Speaker
So, which by the way is fine with me, but I haven't really like, I haven't been exposed to too much, like good pizza pizza, except for when I took a trip down to Florida and they had amazing pizza, hot pizza, but I may have also been a little intoxicated.
00:39:39
Speaker
I heard pizza in Florida is the worst. Yeah. Pizza hut. That one was amazing. Pizza hut and pizza are different things to be honest with you. Yeah. You have to separate the two. Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:51
Speaker
real Yeah, like there's real pizza and then there's Pizza Hut pizza. Did we ever talk about the debate that my cousin, Michael Angel and I have about pizza? I don't know if we've ever talked about this. and And um you guys will ah you guys will experience one day. But we have a debate because we've we've been to Italy, him and I, a few times together.
00:40:11
Speaker
And we have a debate that... European, I believe that European pizza and American pizza are two different pizzas. It's hard to compare. um his belief is that pizza is pizza and it's all the same. So like you can compare a pizza from Napoli compared to Frank Pepe's pizza.
00:40:31
Speaker
And I 100% disagree with that because it's totally different. yeah yeah But he's he's saying, what's the difference? It's pizza. It shouldn't matter. But it's it's so different, in my opinion.
00:40:44
Speaker
No, matters. It's different things. like They both can be good, but... but I agree. They both can be good because because of different reasons. you know i'm saying But what he's saying is no, because pizza is pizza. It doesn't matter where you get it.
00:40:59
Speaker
No, that's not true. There's so many different kinds of pizza. There's deep dish pizza. There's thin crust pizza. There's brick oven pizza. There's the the one from Italy that's got the puffier crust. Yes, Sicilian style.
00:41:11
Speaker
a Which is close to Detroit style, which wasn't mentioned, but yeah. Al tuna pizza. Al tuna pizza. You can't forget Al tuna pizza. Throw a piece of cheese on a bread and that's an Al tuna pizza. yeah Oh man.
00:41:27
Speaker
Alright. So we didn't do it last episode but we did two episodes ago and by God was it a hit. no For ah it's For everyone not named Mike. Yeah.
00:41:43
Speaker
Alright, so let's let's dip our toes back into some would you rather questions. Those ones were raunchy. I'm sorry. Those ones were raunchy. People really wanted to hear that shit. I mean, come on.
00:41:54
Speaker
If the question has the word penis in it, it's raunchy to you. Yeah. Have some class. We're talking about shitting on chests. I mean, come on. What the fuck was that? You're talking about shitting in a bathroom. Now you blew your butt out after eating a pizza. Okay, well, I didn't use the words like that. I was trying to keep it discreet. You know what I'm saying? My ass. We're trying to keep it discreet.
00:42:19
Speaker
ah I mean, it was implied without me saying it, but I mean, you had to just come right out and say it. When did you adopt this classy mindset? yeah You've definitely used the term blew my butt out and when I've talked to you.
00:42:33
Speaker
Yeah, but that's when we're together in a private room. and you know That's what this is supposed to kind of emulate. No, Mike? I don't know. You guys are baiting me for content. So it sounds like you want the world to know exactly what um'm what I'm thinking, you know?
00:42:49
Speaker
That's up to you. i know Yeah. All right. Let's hear these. Would you rather? Let's let's hear them. i hope I hope they're not as disgusting as the last one. You hit me with it. Just raunchy one.
00:43:00
Speaker
No, no, no. We're going we're going to work our way up just like last time. Also, Mike, I'm safe. There's a lot worse that I can do here on these questions and maybe we'll dip into those eventually.
00:43:10
Speaker
no Maybe the next time we're in person, I'll get to the real bad ones. no But I am saving you here, all right? Oh, thank thank you for saving me. God bless. Thank you so much. It's also on you to also not answer really stupidly, but you know that that I can't control.
00:43:27
Speaker
that's a Listen, i'm I'm not going to sit here and deny that. Yeah. right. So let's let's work our way up here.
00:43:33
Speaker
So would you guys rather... free Duncan every Monday or free Taco Bell every Tuesday? Taco Bell every Tuesday. Next question. Free Duncan every Monday.
00:43:44
Speaker
and Okay. For sure. For sure. Okay. I've got like a little little sensitive baby stomach when it comes to food. so So tough food is hard for me right now. Fair enough.
00:43:56
Speaker
Speaking of, sorry. none of Hazelnut coffee this morning. Have you guys ever had flavored coffee like that? like Yeah, of course. Yeah, a few times. Okay. I really hadn't dipped my toes into it that much. I had a hazelnut coffee like like the the It was brewed. It wasn't like a flavoring that was added in. It was delicious.
00:44:16
Speaker
hu Really hadn't done that. Beautiful. It was a wonderful experience for me. and i like so you know I had that little moment where I was in the morning and I sipped my little coffee and I was like, oh my God, it's great. He calls me an old Italian man. He's talking about his fucking hazelnut coffee, but I get roasted.
00:44:31
Speaker
Get the fuck out of Congratulations. You had hazelnut coffee. Words like jabroni when I'm drinking my coffee. Did read morning paper? Did you fucking watch Fox? I did my work like a big boy.
00:44:41
Speaker
yeah I also did read the morning brew in my email though. So I guess that kind of counts. All right. Next one. Would you rather work for Michael Scott from the office or Dr. Cox from scrubs?
00:44:56
Speaker
Ooh, Michael Scott from the office for sure. I feel like he's more of a fun hang. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Dr. Cox is too hard, you know, on, on Zach Braff's character. forgot the character's name, but you know, JD.
00:45:09
Speaker
Yeah. JD is too hard on him. He does seem like a good hang when, you know, out of the office or whatever. But if we're talking like in the office, you know, having some fun. Yeah. how i gone like Like the brief, I don't know how long those episodes were, but in like, say like the brief 20 to 30 minute doses that I got of Dr. Cox, it's enjoyable, but to spend like a full eight hour shift with that guy, gotta to be, gotta be rough. Imagine working an overnight with him. o Yeah, that would be tough. Is he calling me Nancy? Like what, what's my, what's my names he's calling me.
00:45:41
Speaker
don't know. That's something I think he has to figure out after meeting and him. That's not something I could just create out of, you know, you got to earn that nickname. Nicknames just aren't chosen. So it's calling him Jabroni. But I feel like, see i yeah, no, I'd like that. Get that there. But I feel like i have to take Dr. Cox because at the end of the day, as much as he's ah he's a, you know, a scrifling scumbag, like he understands his profession.
00:46:06
Speaker
I feel like Michael Scott didn't understand at all his position of what he was doing. But that's what made it so fun. Yeah. that this He clearly didn't know what he was doing. And everybody, like, think about the flexibility that you can have at work. Just like Jim and Pam and all of them would, like, play little pranks just to, like, you know what? I want to leave work early today. And they knew how to push the buttons, get a good laugh, and then dip out of there. You could do that whenever you wanted. Dr. Cox, absolute, like, opposite.
00:46:32
Speaker
He's like, let let me just sign up to get made fun of all day.
00:46:37
Speaker
And also learned under a great doctor. I don't know. i maybe i Was he a good doctor? He was an excellent doctor. He knew ball. He knew ball. Okay.
00:46:48
Speaker
I guess that's fair. And JD was the one that was there for him to get him out of his his funk when he was losing patience. I don't know. i think I'd take Dr. Cox. I'd like to see where it would go. and Okay. Sounds like you're and so you're ready to like punish yourself.
00:47:03
Speaker
if i If it makes me a good doctor, you know? ah You know what? I appreciate it. Because you're not you're not climbing up the corporate ladder with with a boss like Michael Scott. He's not putting in good reviews for you.
00:47:14
Speaker
He's not promoting you. You're going nowhere. You're taking the nine to five. You you want to grow. I want to grow. It's not true. i could take that dude's job whenever I wanted. Because I know I'm more qualified.
00:47:26
Speaker
You just go right up to corporate and bam, I'm the new co-manager. Or manager. if You care into your way into his position. Real nice.
00:47:38
Speaker
I guess. Alright. Would you guys rather fight two 50 year olds or 52 year olds armed with pocket knives?
00:47:51
Speaker
Armed with pocket knives? Armed with pocket knives. Two 50 year olds and 52 year olds. Okay, but what's the goal? like do i Am I supposed to disarm them? Fight to the death. oh that's that changed everything. do I also have a pocket knife?
00:48:06
Speaker
Against the two 50-year-olds, yes. Against the two-year-olds? No. Oh, I'm taking the two 50-year-olds. Well, actually, hold on. yeah good talk thank you good We have to talk about their physical fitness. are we talking about random god Just two average now they they now i'm taking the the fifty two year old I'll take the 52-year-old. A lot of pocket knives, Mike.
00:48:29
Speaker
yeah Okay, but two 50-year-old people with pocket knives. no No, no, no, no. You have the knives in this scenario. Yeah. Oh, you have a pocket knife and you're fighting two 50-year-olds. Oh, I thought that they had the pocket. No, no, no, no. You have the pocket knives. yeah But in the other scenario, all 50 little two-year-olds have a pocket knife.
00:48:52
Speaker
Now, they probably can't hold on to it really well. So yeah I'm assuming that it's like taped to their hand or something. but I'm still taking the 52-year-olds because half of them are going to disarm themselves because they don't know what they're doing.
00:49:04
Speaker
But then you have to you then you have to come to grips with the fact that you killed 50 children. It's not that deep. It's not that deep, Doug. Maybe it's not so that you just have to be the clear winner. Yeah, that's fine. I'll do that. That's fine. What does the clear winner mean? Do I have to beat the shit out of these little children? Whoa, whoa, Doug. Where are you going? mean, maybe. Where are you going?
00:49:24
Speaker
Just take the knife out of their hand. They're useless. What do you got to beat them up for? And I'm not the clear winner. Right? Right. okay one An adult has a knife and the baby doesn't. I think we know who the clear winner No, no, no. You can't use the knives against the kids. I'm not saying use the knife, but I'm just saying no matter what, they will they will they know their objective.
00:49:42
Speaker
Right. you can't just You can't just push that kid over. That's not a win. He can get back up and come back at you. If I'm a clear winner, I'm decking that kid. Right? like It's got to get it. And that's 50 solid punches that you have to throw out. Not that hard. Not that hard of punches. Two years old.
00:49:59
Speaker
Not that hard. No, but it it requires a lot of endurance. And, you know, I could get tired and then maybe I fall over and I fall on one of those knives. That's 50 knives. That's a lot. Okay, so what if you're fighting two 50-year-olds like the size of Dwayne the Rock Johnson? said they were average. they have average What's average? we like right five one eighty for fifty year old that ain't average dog that's That's literally the average, but that's just like the average male.
00:50:27
Speaker
Yeah. Five, eight, one 80. Also, those guys are going to get way more tired than me. I could literally run in circles around them with my knife. Right. And just come in and stab one eventually. You know what i mean? Like, come on easy.
00:50:42
Speaker
I'm taking, I'm taking the 52 year olds. You know what, Mike, that is, that's exactly what I expected you to say. Same. do you want me to just agree with you every time and make this segment boring?
00:50:53
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, the average height and weight for 50-year-old man in the United States is five nine and 202. Okay, 202. That's 20 extra pounds. All right, well... Then 180.
00:51:03
Speaker
right well then one eight That don't matter for a guy like me, I'll tell you that. But maybe for my kind, understand that. Who you picking, Vic? Which one? Probably the 250-year-olds, man. I'm not going to kill children.
00:51:14
Speaker
You didn't say you had to kill them. You said you had to disarm I'm not going to beat the shit out of kids, man. What the hell's wrong with you, Mike? I'll lose to the 250-year-olds. I don't care. also picked killing 25 people in the woods privately instead of one execution publicly. So I think that i think that's the answer.
00:51:31
Speaker
Yeah. You did. All right. I got two more for you guys. Then we probably have to end it. So, um, would you rather your partner be best friends with your ex or their ex with my ex?
00:51:52
Speaker
That's a known quantity for me. can deal with that. That's fair. Right. Yeah. I know when something's up, right. Been through that before. Yeah.
00:52:05
Speaker
it's the other way around, I was like, that's brutal. That's where my mind starts spinning, you know?
00:52:15
Speaker
ah
00:52:17
Speaker
Mike's like, I don't know if I could do the D-Terry position on this one.
00:52:26
Speaker
Which one? which one Oh, you want you want to name your accent? No, no, no, no. We're not naming it. But I'm saying which one of mine compared to which one of theirs? you know like what's the you know what's the What's the options here?
00:52:41
Speaker
I don't know. I'm not sure it needs to be that deep. Yeah. but you you could whoever you Whoever you want to think about in your head. i guess I guess it would have to be mine. yeah I think that it's the most logical. I don't love it. I think Austin's reasoning is correct.
00:52:55
Speaker
That one's the most logical.
00:53:00
Speaker
All right. I still don't love it. ah Sure. I get that. It's not a great situation to be in in the first place, but we have to choose Mike. That's the game. Okay. I actually have two more after that. I'm sorry. I have an extra one to throw in.
00:53:13
Speaker
um Hit me. But it should be quick. um Would you rather let your legs get ran over with the tank or run through a basketball court with 28 hidden mines? Okay.
00:53:27
Speaker
Ooh. Okay. Do I get to choose where my legs get run over? Like the location? feel like it's the full leg. No, no, no. Not on my body, but like the place where we are. get choose? Oh, oh. um Sure. It could be like on grass or something.
00:53:43
Speaker
Less than the blow. It's still probably going to crush your legs either way. Yes. but That's true. I'll take it to tank. Yeah. i think I think I got to take the tank too. But just out of curiosity, what kind of like are these like mines that I can absolutely see?
00:54:01
Speaker
no, no. They're hidden. They're and 9. Are these like IEDs? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. but You know, we'll go with the non-bouncing Betty, you know, you step on it, it pops up to eye height and then.
00:54:13
Speaker
No, see, I'm taking the tank because even if my legs get crushed, I still can, I still can live. I feel like if I step on mine, I'm i'm done. it's yeah Exactly. So you're taking, you know, a chance at being a healthy, you know, if you run through the basketball court and miss all the mines.
00:54:30
Speaker
you know It's basically you're choosing whether or not to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life or death. It's kind of yeah kind of and of ah an odd setup by the question. But but you if you miss all the minds, you end up unscathed.
00:54:43
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. Like 100% unscathed and some notoriety to go along with it. Like that dude just ran through and didn't touch any of those mines. It's like that computer game. Remember that old school computer game? Yeah, Minesweeper. Minesweeper. That's what it was. Did you guys ever play that game correctly?
00:54:58
Speaker
No. I was so bad. I didn't realize the numbers meant stuff for like the longest time until I watched someone play it. ah So my father played that game religiously.
00:55:09
Speaker
Religiously. So I didn't know that people played it any other way than the way that it was supposed to be played. And so I seemed real boring when people were like, i don't even know that that was that. I was like, oh.
00:55:21
Speaker
No, I and knew the numbers and everything, but i still play it every now and then. But every time I play it I feel real old. but Did you drink your hazelnut coffee while you played it, you bitch? I did you fuckface. I did.
00:55:35
Speaker
Did you read the morning brew while you did it? I'll read and play at the same time. But if I could, I would, Mike. yeah God bless. all right This is the last one.
00:55:46
Speaker
Mike, get ready for it. It does get raunchy here. Uh-oh. oh He's going to say a bad word. So lock in. Would you rather have sex with a dead body oh my god or a live animal?
00:55:59
Speaker
Oh, my God. Come on. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. That is the dumbest shit I've ever heard. For what reason? Is this for personal gain or is this for survival?
00:56:13
Speaker
so you're You're just forced to choose. yeah It's stupid. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You have to choose. dont mean these yeah what's um the What's the animal? Just a lion. don't know.
00:56:23
Speaker
A pig. Come on. You ever watch Black Mirror? No. First episode of Black Mirror. Yep. you you don't you've You've never seen it, Mike? How dead?
00:56:34
Speaker
How dead's the body? Are talking like a week? Are we talking a year? What talking? ah and Again, not that deep. I didn't even think that. You know what? We could say it's still warm. I don't know. Just just to make you feel better, I guess. It's not a bag of bones. I never said it was a bag of bones. I just want to know what we're working with.
00:56:56
Speaker
I don't know. Why would I do either of this? Mike, you've been making decisions this entire time. Just pick one. You need to tell us why, though.
00:57:06
Speaker
I have no have no reason to do either. There's no reason why you should be doing either. You had no reason to do all the other stuff either, but you answered the question. Mike, gun to your head. You have to choose one. Yeah, gun to your head right now.
00:57:25
Speaker
i I feel like I gotta go dead body. Why?
00:57:32
Speaker
Because they're not gonna feel it. Oh, interesting. okay They're not gonna feel it. i' I'm gonna feel guilty. They will, though. They'll be looking down on you be like, damn. That's fine. I'll find out about it once I enter through the pearly gates. It's fine. The pearly gates? yeah You think you're going through the pearly gates after that one? do You think it's better if I did it to a live animal? No, I'm just saying you're not entering the pearly gates either way.
00:57:57
Speaker
all that All those Filet-O-Fish son done. I think all that for nothing. i say As sick as it is, I think I too would choose the dead body only because... And it would have to be fresh.
00:58:09
Speaker
Because... Oh, so wait a minute, timeout. You yelled at me because I asked the question. You're like, oh, only if it's a fresh body, though. I lost the way mean, what the fuck? I wouldn't have made that stipulation, but you brought it up, so now I'm saying it.
00:58:21
Speaker
but the But it goes to my reasoning. Because if you're going with an animal, right, like you could... there's a higher chance of you catching some kind of disease. Right. And that's long term, at least with a, like a fresh dead body. Like i I'm, I'm in the clear, so to speak, you know, and I'm assuming that this is all sanctioned, right? Like, yeah. but yeah The federal government approved it. What the fuck are you thinking? You're stupid. Yeah. The federal government, go on the morgue and do what you want. How stupid. No holds barred, you know, just go to town.
00:58:58
Speaker
Come back in 20. Whatever. Take your lunch break. Do what you got to do. Oh, stupid.
00:59:07
Speaker
Oh, man. All right. Well, I think that concludes this episode. Was it? I don't know about that. We got to tap into this more. we got You always know when Mike's uncomfortable because he's like, yeah what is that? Oh my God. yeah That was so stupid. That was the that was dumb. stupid He uses the word stupid over it every time. just so I'm going to ramp it up.
00:59:31
Speaker
I'm going to start ramping it up because if you think views are bad. yeah oh boy. i I hope this doesn't happen to us, but I wouldn't be surprised if our viewership went down because of the stupidity that we're putting out. I don't think so.
00:59:44
Speaker
This is your insecurity speaking for some reason. Excuse me. Let's stop right there. All right. Let's just let's hold on. You have no problem with talking about these things. Because who would do that?
00:59:55
Speaker
Who's okay? Us. We just we just said that. we do We would do that. We would really do that. Physically do that. We would talk about it, Mike. talk about it We want to know that you're comfortable talking about it too. I've been very clear I've not. I just want you to know I've been very clear saying I have not been.
01:00:12
Speaker
Well, listen, man. Next week's going to be a bitch for you. I can tell you that.
01:00:20
Speaker
How come every episode ends with me sighing? every You're choosing to be upset. That's the thing. You're choosing to be downtrodden. Every episode ends up with me just being pissed off about everything we just talked about. um That's your fault.
01:00:35
Speaker
Yeah. i mean Yes, of course. How you feel, Mike? Of course it's me. Oh, my God. It is. It literally is. Yes. ah Just roll with it, man. that' That's it. That's the problem.
01:00:46
Speaker
Oh, my God. No. Never wants to take accountability.
01:00:52
Speaker
I don't even care if we're done. I'm going out i'm getting up. I'm getting up. I'm logging out. Oh, I need therapy. Yes, therapy. That would help. Yes. All right. mike Mike's taking this too seriously, so we got we gotta to go. Yeah. We'll see you guys next week.
01:01:09
Speaker
See you next week.