Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 145 - All my homies hate Reggie Miller
13 Plays6 months ago
God should have taken Reggie MIller instead of Bill Walton
Find us everywhere: https://pods.to/laundryinthebasement
Recommended
Transcript
The Nature of Work and Capitalism
00:00:00
Speaker
Where else could have? Why even have jobs, you know? Yeah. Yeah. We were never meant to have jobs. Society and social norms forced jobs upon us. We were meant to to yearn in the woods yep and gather sticks for fire.
00:00:15
Speaker
And die when we're two years old. Exactly. Instead, we're subjected to late-stage capitalism and... And having to fucking chase the the dead American dream that we were, for some reason, promised.
00:00:32
Speaker
I mean, to be fair, for all the talk about late-stage capitalism, it sure beats the hell out of early-stage capitalism. Yeah, that's right. that's That's about the worst possible ah hand you could be dealt.
00:00:45
Speaker
Yeah. It's just working in some like sweatshop in New York City ah like 10 years old and then dying in a factory fire because there's only one exit and it's locked from the from the inside so people don't take breaks.
00:01:06
Speaker
Yeah, working like a 12-hour day for five cents, like um a week. Not even five cents a day, a five cents a week. Just so you can afford like a loaf of bread. Yeah. Probably playing with some mercury or something like that. That's, you know, probably some asbestos in that building that probably gives lifelong health damages, you know?
00:01:25
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Chicken pox kills you at the age of, you know, 21, you know? Yeah. almost ah Almost on par. I don't think I could afford bread right now, to be honest.
00:01:39
Speaker
And COVID-2 is coming soon, apparently, so... I fucking hope so. Is there really a COVID-2? I did see something in the news about like the new like there's a new sort of ah some sort of flu or some shit that is destined to wipe us all out. But I don't know. I feel like i feel like the only time that's actually happened is COVID.
00:02:00
Speaker
They say that shit all the time where it's like, oh yeah, this mass health event going to kill a bunch of people. and then it kills like a thousand, which is still bad. you know But I don't think it's as bad as...
Pandemics and Perceptions
00:02:11
Speaker
i'm I'm sorry. I totally cut you off. But what wasn't didn't the Spanish... Was it the Spanish bird flu? Didn't that do worse damage? I thought there was something worse than COVID. Yeah, Spanish influenza was worse. I mean, they didn't... Obviously, medical technology was not nearly as advanced.
00:02:29
Speaker
And... Also, that had like a much higher ah child mortality rate. It wasn't just old people. It was like children. um And then World War I pretty much just like spread it all over the world pretty fast.
00:02:46
Speaker
Yeah, isn't that kind of crazy that they call it the Spanish flu, but that shit originated in like Nebraska? it Did it really? yeah like let me Let me look it up. Yeah, i want I want to see. I would laugh if that's true, but I also wouldn't be shocked.
00:03:00
Speaker
Nebraska. Really? They're like, how do we throw people off the sun? What's the opposite yeah of Nebraska? The earliest documented case was March 1918 in Kansas. so in the world, though?
00:03:17
Speaker
Yeah, that's the first documented case. And then with further cases recorded in France, Germany, and the United Kingdom in April. It's like a month later. Damn. Why do we call that shit the Spanish flu?
00:03:31
Speaker
I don't know.
00:03:36
Speaker
So some like corn fed Nebraska like hick just ah he was he was patient zero. Yeah. But how did he got drafted to Europe and just.
00:03:50
Speaker
But now that's the next question. If it originated in Nebraska, how did he get it? Like, what did he do to contract this, quote unquote, Spanish bird flu?
00:04:00
Speaker
Messing around with livestock, maybe? Yeah. I mean, that could be having a bunch of chickens or some shit. Damn. Isn't that like the racist like ah ah speculation that people did about AIDS? Yeah, they were like... They were like, oh, some African guy like fucked a monkey or something like that. and Yeah. And now we have this virus.
00:04:22
Speaker
It's like, oh, I don't think that's what happened. Yeah, I don't know. Isn't it the same thing with, like, even with COVID? They're like, yeah, they knew me it they made a bat stew. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
00:04:34
Speaker
thats But wasn't it some, like, other animal?
00:04:38
Speaker
ah A pet, what was it called? Didn't it start with, like, a P? Well, was made in a lab by by the Chinese.
Experiences During COVID-19
00:04:46
Speaker
That's right. Yes. Which was a cover-up.
00:04:50
Speaker
They said it wasn't made in a lab, and now years later we find out it was made a lab.
00:04:56
Speaker
I love the COVID truthers ah out there that are still, like, they're like the the fucking, like, Japanese soldiers in the Pacific. Oh, yeah, who know who never gave up. Dunkered down some island, and it's, like, both sides, too. not Not to do, like, a both sides thing, but, like, it's both, like, the the long COVID, like,
00:05:16
Speaker
people that have like driven themselves insane and are so paranoid that they still don't leave their house types and it's also the people that are like it never existed in the first place it never existed in the it's simultaneously a chinese bioweapon sent to destroy us and also it's not bad at all and it doesn't exist yeah did you guys ever see that movie contagion Yeah, I did.
00:05:41
Speaker
That was fun. You know what? During COVID. yeah I'm sure that movie spiked when COVID happened, but I watched that years ago when it came out. Did it have Matt Damon in it? It did. Okay.
00:05:52
Speaker
All right. It had Gwyneth Paltrow. She dies in like the first five minutes. Yes, yes. I just i just remember like just watching COVID unfold and be like, is this literally the movie Contagion? because that's it Remember at the ending how we figured out what happened that like the the chef didn't wash his hands and shook somebody's hand and then it just went down the line?
00:06:13
Speaker
was like, fuck, is that how this happened? like That's nuts. yeah i mean It was very like prescient about a bunch of things. like The Jude Law character is basically like this homeopathic like remedy type guy who's just like hawking these like miracle pills to like gullible people.
00:06:31
Speaker
And like, that's literally what happened during COVID with like, Ivermectin and shit like that. Um, So, yeah, it might have just been a social experiment then they might have been conditioning us to be ready. That movie was ahead of its time. And it was is because they had it planned out.
00:06:48
Speaker
And then it like bombed at the box office. And like, fuck, well, I guess I guess we're going to plan B. You know, we gave them enough warning if they watched our movie, they would have realized that this was happening in real life.
00:06:58
Speaker
But it's on them. It's crazy because working in the pharmacy at the time of COVID, that that they were doing the ivermectin, but the other big one was hydrochloroquine. And then they ended up storing hydrochloroquine in the same area as narcotic medications.
00:07:15
Speaker
It's still in there, buddy. It's still there? It's still in there. It shouldn't be there anymore. So that like people wouldn't steal it? Well, as in like they wanted us to handle it like a narcotic like like an Because this was ah allegedly like something that could ah heal people from COVID or something. Something that was leading cause that that could help.
00:07:36
Speaker
So we had to handle it as like a narcotic form. it was It was insane. I can't believe after five years they still... I wonder if that's just a company policy or like a federal policy that they want to, they want to help like in the same standard. I think you're, I think you're able to package it in the normal areas. I think just out of pure laziness, it's still in the room.
00:07:55
Speaker
Cause I was going to say in the hospital, no, it's handled regularly. Like, i don't know if the orders, um don't know if the orders go there, but there, there are still multiple bottles in the room. That's wild.
00:08:06
Speaker
um
00:08:09
Speaker
Yeah, man, I love those COVID days at work. having to go in, wearing a mask, getting a letter from our company saying that if we were on the road and stopped by the police, that we were sent. like The company gave us a letter and was like, if you get pulled over and they're asking you why you're driving, hand them this letter. They were like, martial law is coming any day now. We need our employees to be prepared. Remember when they updated, they had to give us an updated one like once a month?
00:08:35
Speaker
Yeah. Do you remember that? yeah We would get new copies of it. Because we weren't allowed on the road. You know what? COVID time, great time for driving. Nobody was on the road. You got anywhere you needed to be. It was it was a wonderful time.
00:08:48
Speaker
I was hitting 90 on County Road. ah Just all through the bends and the hills. Just... oh They should given me one of those when I was working at Old Navy during COVID. You don't understand. Like, I need to sell graphic t-shirts. Yeah. That's right.
00:09:04
Speaker
That's right. You don't get it. It's the Memorial Day sale. Yeah. you understand how packed Old Navy is going to be? Yeah, listen. these These Old Navy bucks are going to expire. Okay? Like, i need to make sure. i like You don't understand. If this Old Navy goes under, this mall is going to fucking shit. and Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:22
Speaker
Look what happened. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. we We couldn't afford that. People getting shot left and right. There you go. Yeah. That's what happens. What a time. What a time.
00:09:35
Speaker
That was crazy. I remember my sister, um her boyfriend is Department of Corrections. And I remember it started in the state in the prison system.
00:09:46
Speaker
um And he was like patient number three in like the state to receive it, like to get COVID. Yeah. And it was like the biggest thing. you remember that? That's sick. i i I want to make sure I got my facts correct, but I remember started in the prison system and then he he got it in the prison system. He was one of the first batch to get it. And it was like the hugest deal. And I remember going like, because again, we could drive around because we were a essential workers.
00:10:12
Speaker
I used to go to like McDonald's and oddly they kept the liquor stores open, the package stores open. So I'd get like, I'd get my sister like a twisted tea and like a Big Mac and like leave it at her door. And then she would, She would like ah meet me at her kitchen window, open it up and I'd like eat my McDonald's outside while she ate it inside. mean, you remember that shit?
00:10:31
Speaker
She would like bleach your house like twice a day, you know, and so like what a time, you know. So you're probably the reason why COVID spread. No, I never had it. but and Well, hey, you you may not have known that you've had it.
Hair, Height, and Social Dynamics
00:10:43
Speaker
i i will say that i have never I have never officially contracted COVID. And all the times I've tested, it has always been 100% negative. That's crazy. mike think Mike is the reason why COVID spread in Connecticut.
00:10:55
Speaker
That's wild. That's right. Yeah. And I'll do it again, too. Fucking try me. COVID, too. Fucking try me, you know?
00:11:04
Speaker
i'm sure I'm sure through the grapevine i've I've had it, especially working in the hospital. There's no question about it. but yeah Officially, all the times I've tested have been 100% negative.
00:11:16
Speaker
I attribute my hair loss to it. um like, yeah, i have I have long COVID. That's why I lose my hair. Exactly. That's one of the... This isn't male pattern baldness. Yeah. just It's long COVID. and I got sick. I don't know. You're going to... What? You're going to fucking... You're going to mock a sick person? Yeah. yeah That's not right. That's really fucked up.
00:11:33
Speaker
If I was you, I'd blame it on the vaccine. Just be like, Pfizer did this to me. Fuck them. You know? You're paying for my trip to Turkey, Pfizer. All right? Yeah. Let's this straight. I will drop this...
00:11:44
Speaker
If you pay for a trip to Istanbul right now. I think I've talked about it before. ah There's this dude at my job who who went to Turkey for the... Oh, for real? Yeah, he went to Turkey for the the hair transplant.
00:11:58
Speaker
They botched it. It's bad. Ooh. Oh, no. but that's what you get when you pay $200. That's what you're going to get. Yeah. It's still very patchy all over. It's been like five months since he's come back. Ooh. And I remember the day he came back, you could see it. like His hair, like his whole the crown of his head was red.
00:12:16
Speaker
like it was a red all over he had the bandage on and he was very happy because he's like oh yeah i know my hair's coming back and i saw him in the bathroom like la like yesterday and i was like that shit's bad dude you need to does he know it's bad i don't know but i think he does need to give it up i do think you need like a full year for the results to uh come in like i think there's like a shedding period when it comes back but then like It sheds.
00:12:45
Speaker
The body rejects It falls out kind of again. Okay. Or it could just reject it, and then you're just fucking George Costanza. really Yeah. The thing it is, like I think he would be a very good-looking bald guy.
00:12:57
Speaker
He's tall. He's ripped. He doesn't really need the hair, but I think something about him... Yeah, he has a beard. See, that's that's crucial. Yeah. That's crucial. Something about him needs the hair, and I get it.
00:13:09
Speaker
I mean, I need my hair. I understand the the plight there, but... ah don't know, man. Someone's got to let them know that the the hair transplant ain't working. No, you can you can get away. If you're thinning, you can get away with going bald if you have some sort of facial hair. some sort of It doesn't have to be a full beard, you know I'm saying? But you need some sort of facial hair. You can get away with being bald.
00:13:30
Speaker
If you're bald in the cheeks and then you go bald on top, it's not good. It's not good. yeah you can get away. You kind of sickly. You look like NoHo Hank. No. but he pulls it off.
00:13:41
Speaker
Yeah. I think it works for him. That's a cool book. Yeah. I don't think has alopecia. ah Does he have alopecia? Okay. Well, you know, like we, we have a friend that has alopecia and he really pulls it off. He rocks it.
00:13:53
Speaker
Nice. I don't think I could do that though. Yeah. I would look, I think the eyebrows for me, it would be a, if I didn't have eyebrows. Yeah. I'd be a scary looking motherfucker.
00:14:06
Speaker
Sorry. I'm getting a toupee soon anyway, so it's fine. Nice. That's going to be my 30th birthday gift to myself is really cool toupee. They make nice ones. Yeah. They make nice ones. Get that shit glued to my skull.
00:14:19
Speaker
Oh, God, that got to hurt.
00:14:23
Speaker
Yeah, but, you know, the self-esteem will boost, and that that kind of hides all the pain there. so beauty Beauty is pain, my guy. Do it. That's right. Yeah. yeah Doing that, i'm doing the leg lengthening surgery.
00:14:35
Speaker
What? Have you not heard that? No. Oh, my God. That's great. Dude, they, like, break your bones. They literally break your bones, and they set the bone, like, two inches down, and then you just lay in agony in a bed for, like, six months while the bone regenerates, and you grow, like, two inches.
00:14:55
Speaker
It's, like, paper thin. Yeah, you spend eight months of just complete fucking agony and probably tens of thousands of dollars yeah go like to gain two inches. Yeah. It's like, come on. Vic, why would you want to do that?
00:15:09
Speaker
No, I'm not going to. I don't need to do that. I understand, but I'm saying you're not a short guy. You don't need to do that. Well, I'm not tall either, so I mean. Yeah, but you're not short. You're not like Yeah, if I was 5'3", I'd think about it. And it might be.
00:15:23
Speaker
yeah It might be, yeah. It might be the move. ah Maybe. them You might have like T-Rex arms though, after it, because it's like, you're not proportional. Unless you want them to break your, break your arms too. And then long yeah. I'm trying to get the wingspan surgery. yeah So it could be like Wemben Yama where my arms are just.
00:15:41
Speaker
Yeah. I'm trying to be Wemby at the park. Well, I know with hanging out with Victor the other day that I know the range is 5'0 is too short, five foot nine is too tall. So where where's the sweet spot on that, Victor? It's to 5'5.
00:15:55
Speaker
it's it's five foot one to five foot five five foot Okay, but that that's difference bit of a... didn't say 5'0 was out of range. I said 4'9. one inch difference between five foot one five foot nothing five foot five nine that not but ah okay i didn' say five foot nothing was out of range i said four foot nine was out of range. And that really isn't that much out of range.
00:16:20
Speaker
Also, all right, Mike is mike is saying that what I do on my dating apps is weird, but I only do it to piss him off specifically. And what is that? We'll go through a round of Bumble where I'll just and swipe left and right, ah basically against what with what Mike is saying for his advice.
00:16:38
Speaker
if he says and If he's like, no, I'll swipe yes. And it's specifically to piss him off, because it's funny to get a reaction out of him. We're like, not even three people deep. I'm pissed. I'm rolling. Yeah.
00:16:49
Speaker
It's just and it's just like very dumb, arbitrary, because here's the thing, no matter which way I go, i know they're not swiping right back. So it doesn't matter. Come on. It's just for fun.
00:17:03
Speaker
ah Mike, and what are your judgments based on? Are you guys actually like delving into these profiles? no, no. We're reading them. Mike is saying that, but he's incredibly shallow.
00:17:15
Speaker
You're just shooting from the hip based on the first picture. He'll see the first photo. He'll see the first photo and be like, no. don Not even read the name, the age, any of the – he'll see the first and be like, no.
00:17:29
Speaker
No. I like to keep a dive. I like to know all this. No, that's such a lie. No, no, no, no. I unwach just world i will admit that. But sometimes you know. Nick, sometimes you look at something and you just know the answer, you know, and sometimes it's yes.
00:17:43
Speaker
And sometimes it's a no, you know, it's a gut. It's a gut feeling. It's a gut feeling. Right. Thank you. You know, you've got to let your instincts rock, you know, but I like to know all the information before I make a decision. Victor, he scrolls to two inches deep and then he goes, oh, conservative.
00:17:57
Speaker
No, it's like, but you didn't read the whole thing. You know, because I don't need to. I don't need to read the rest. I think I think Austin immediately agreed with me on that. And I think Nick would immediately agree with me on that.
00:18:07
Speaker
I don't need to read the rest of the profile if I see that. Fair. i't I'm going have to disagree. I'm going to have to disagree. His time is valuable. you know You can't be expending too much time on this type of shit.
00:18:22
Speaker
I think I can make a very very clear judgment call on that. and In an instant. But that's, um, shit, what's the word I'm looking for? that's hell I'll throw moderates in there too. If I see moderate, I'm almost doing that the same way. But you're judging people because you don't know.
00:18:38
Speaker
You don't know. That's what the whole app is for, Mike. that's It's judging people. The whole thing is judging people. You just called me shallow for judging people. And that's fine. You're also shallow. Yes, but other people, that's the whole thing is everyone is shallow on the apps.
00:18:51
Speaker
That's fine. I think it's funny. Okay. It's also funny to like mess with you on these. No, i know I know we do it for the thrill. I understand that yeah completely. But I'm trying to look out for you, if my guy. That's fair. I appreciate that.
00:19:03
Speaker
i appreciate that. We want get the hits, you know? Oh, All right, we don't have to keep talking about that. that That's getting cut anyway, so. Okay. I'm just saying, I'm here to help out my boy get some swipes in. You know, that's what we're here for.
00:19:16
Speaker
i want I want to look at all the information and make the best judgment. I appreciate that. He scrolls in two inches deep, and he's like, 5'9", next. I'm like, come on, we could work with that, though, you know? Can we?
00:19:32
Speaker
that's that one of those close That might be a preemptive left swipe. and like ah like I remember when I was on the app, sometimes i would you know I'd come across someone that was like so hot that I'd be like, I'm swiping left.
00:19:44
Speaker
see Thank you. or I'm swiping left before you left swipe. I do that all the time with Mike. Mike's like, what are you doing? He's like, you have to least give yourself a chance. I was like, there is no reason. There are a finite amount of likes a day.
00:19:58
Speaker
There is no reason for me to waste one, especially on Bumble, because they're fucking stingy. but Yeah. shit I can't imagine it's gotten any better. and Oh, it's gotten worse. Yeah. But it's like, if I already know that you're way out of my league, why even try?
00:20:13
Speaker
Right. It's GG's go next. I'll go left. It's fine. No big deal.
00:20:21
Speaker
And I understand you may not under, listen, Mike, we can't all be ah six, four, really charming men who wear fake glasses. i get it. Okay. That, that, you know, we can't all be that, but some people, you know, some people have to work for it. Okay.
00:20:37
Speaker
i'm I'm six foot nine. ah My arms are still as skinny as high school. And I also peaked in high school. So I don't really know what we're getting from that. Yeah, but see, that but they wouldn't know that. They'd have to get they'd have to meet you first.
00:20:49
Speaker
But they don't know about you until you swipe yes on them and meet them. That's what I'm saying. It's the people's chance. But see, I am not afforded the same abilities that people over six foot are.
00:21:02
Speaker
Yeah, but be real but we talked about this. My cousin has a theory and I think it's true a little bit. There's exceptions to every rule, but anybody over six feet, the personality goes down.
00:21:13
Speaker
There's a loss of personality. You're at six foot. You got a personality. You go six, one, six, two, six, three. Where's the personality? It goes down. Have you met somebody who's over six foot? Well, how long time that conversation, how really riveting and long was that conversation?
00:21:28
Speaker
There's not much there. I'd say about an hour each week. Dude, I'm six foot even. I'm at the cusp. As a six foot one person, I would say the fact that I was about 125 pounds so I can go in high school, that kind of pushes you to develop a bit of a personality. There's exceptions every rule. Nick, he got the personality.
00:21:49
Speaker
You know what I'm He got it. Yeah, so so what's your excuse? What's that? said, what's your excuse? Listen, i i I'm right there. I'm right on the edge there. Six even, you know?
00:22:00
Speaker
Okay. Six even. There's an exception. that my My friend Randy, who I love dearly, he's like 6'3", 6'4". Great guy. Personality. You know what i'm saying? There's other people you meet. Are you about to just shit on? No. Like, six before fucking done of a person. i don't know why I talked to him.
00:22:15
Speaker
Great guy. Great guy. But then you just meet some people. It's like, God, I could have just talked to myself the whole time. You know? it's you know It's kind of like the same, like like a girl who grew up pretty, you know, and never had to, like, work for male talent. They never had to develop a personality.
00:22:31
Speaker
and then it's like a late bloomer then yeah they've i mean they've had to develop it you look at austin well i don't know i'm guessing he's five five five six let's maybe five eight what is he i'm not going to i'm going to tell him now hold on what is he he's so bad no he's like five nine he's like five nine no he's not five nine i either You I are the same height. I think we're both like 5'7". Okay, alright, 5'7". We'll go with it.
00:22:56
Speaker
But what I'm saying is 5'7", great personality, shit gotta look at. I'm just saying. I mean, what's there? There's nothing there. You know? That's that's that's how it goes, you know?
00:23:07
Speaker
i mean, okay, yeah, he works out. ah Good for you. You know what saying? But that's not getting you somewhere. You know what it is? His charisma. You know what I'm saying? His smile. he He gets you in the door, you know?
00:23:22
Speaker
um i really rest that part I'm just saying that you call them 5'5". I'm going to be honest with you. Literally under 6 feet, I can't really tell what people are. I'm going to be honest with I just know I'm 6 foot, and anything under or over is kind of a hard judgment for me.
00:23:37
Speaker
but Yeah, think I think we're both 5'7". 5'8", legally to the state. I think um I put 5'8", my license, even though that's a lie. Well, it's with shoes, you know? Yeah, with shoes. Like the NBA, you know, the height measurements. It's with shoes.
00:23:50
Speaker
Of course. Yeah, of course.
00:23:54
Speaker
I don't know, man. We're just trying to just trying to help you out, man. get get you some Get you the best possibilities we can. I appreciate that. It doesn't really matter. I mean, it's fine.
00:24:06
Speaker
i know it's I got i got a vol a lot of other shit to focus on right now. That's right. like Like our podcast. That's right. Getting getting us off the ground. yeah That's right. Going city to city, arena to arena, you know?
00:24:19
Speaker
You want to be single for that, you know?
00:24:25
Speaker
Oh, man. um ah ah For the for the audio listeners, Victor texted Austin and said I called him five five. And I won't read the whole thing, but he essentially kind of agreed with that range I put him in. So, you know what?
00:24:42
Speaker
I got to stand by the statement. I think it's pretty think it's pretty true.
00:24:48
Speaker
no That just kind of makes it seem mean at at that point. yeah He kind of just disagreed with me without not being honest. I mean, I think that's also fair. we we he wasn't goingnna He wasn't going to bring you the heat if he wasn't here.
00:25:02
Speaker
Fair. So last week's episode, you know we filmed that last night because I figured you were trying to bait me.
00:25:13
Speaker
Like last night's episode, it was pretty much an hour of bunch of of us just yelling at Mike. Yeah, no, it was. It wasn't another shit show. We cuddled for 30 minutes. We did.
00:25:24
Speaker
And you know what? It was a nice time. Yeah. I felt secure. Austin was Little Spoon. Mike was a Little Big Spoon. And I was Big Big Spoon. Yeah, but Austin didn't want it because he was too mad at the Knicks. I really tried to hold him. Oh, yeah, that was post-Knicks. His heart wasn't in He was like 32% rejecting it, and I didn't appreciate that. But Victor behind me like kind of filling the void, so I appreciated that. you know In more ways than one. That's right. 100%.
00:25:47
Speaker
ah hundred percent He reached in. He even did the underhand to kind of like cup me in. You know, it was nice. i appreciate that. I had nowhere where to put my arms. I was like, I got ah my arms in an awkward position. So...
00:25:59
Speaker
yeah yeah no was nice and i kind of like trapped underneath yeah that arm's fucked at a certain point yeah it starts going numb or whatever i'm like i might as well just move it and so he bear hugged me and then i i was on us so put my left hand and and i saw him and i was rubbing it up and down he's like don't fucking rub me i was like oh my god i was like i'm sorry the knicks are down by 13 fucking jesus sorry i care asshole You guys would get swept by the thunder anyway. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
00:26:28
Speaker
And Austin did say that. He was like, it doesn't matter. We would have lost to the thunder anyway. But he's like, I just wanted them to fucking get there, which is fair because I wanted them to get there, too. Just because if they played a game seven on Monday, i was like thinking about oh but tomorrow.
00:26:42
Speaker
I was thinking about going to the city for the after party.
NBA Playoffs and Sports Commentary
00:26:45
Speaker
Oh, my God. If they won Game 7, oh, my God. There would have been a Knicks jersey on the Statue of Liberty, dude. I'm telling you. oh Or be there for the riots after they lost Game 7. Oh, even better.
00:26:56
Speaker
Yeah. Is there a Knicks store around? Like, do they have a Knicks store, like, attached to Madison Square? Is there one in, like, Times Square? It's not really Knicks-centric. It's just, like, a and MSG store that has, like, all the teams that play there, I'm pretty sure.
00:27:11
Speaker
Because I know, like, the NBA, is it the NBA that has, like, the NBA store, like, in, in, Yeah. And then, like, the NHL? I didn't know if they had, like, a Knicks, uh, Knicks one, so I would have went there for it. They probably would have looted the shit out of Yeah.
00:27:25
Speaker
Get some free Brunson jerseys. Yeah, and then and then just burn it in the subway. Yeah. don't know. I think they're all they're they're all dogpiling on Cat, I think, because he doesn't play defense.
00:27:39
Speaker
None of them. Literally, the the the hit piece like came out immediately. like I think I woke up this morning at 8 a.m. and saw that The Athletic dropped an article about how the locker room doesn't like Cat because he can't play defense.
00:27:51
Speaker
It's like, damn, it hasn't even been 12 hours since the loss, and they're already fucking, like, breaking the team apart. But yeah i can't, and and obviously, again, basketball is my least knowledgeable, but I can't blame everything on Carl Anthony Towns because, like, he'll score to layup.
00:28:08
Speaker
And immediately after, like, they'll, the Pacers will lob it to somebody who's wide open. Like, nobody's, what are they playing, zone or something? Like, nobody's marking somebody. Like, they're wide open. So I can't blame him that he can't go full court to guard somebody when nobody else did.
00:28:23
Speaker
It's just they they played at a very ah high pace that the Knicks couldn't keep up with. And I don't know if that's attributed to the fact that Tibbs plays the death like he plays these dudes to death in the regular season.
00:28:35
Speaker
Yeah. So playing 45 minutes in the playoffs makes sense. But if you're playing 45 minutes on a random Wednesday in Charlotte for some fucking reason, even though you're up 30 like. like I get that they're high performance athletes and a lot of the arguments that come from the, like the older generation about, Oh, these guys should be able to play 82.
00:28:55
Speaker
um I think the game is just a little bit more physical and athletic. Well, not physical. I mean, they were physical in the nineties and shit, but like, I think it takes a lot more athleticism to play in today's game. It's at a much faster pace.
00:29:08
Speaker
These guys are putting up over a hundred points every single night where, it's more like defense is less, I'd say like defense is less of a focus and it's almost more about the offensive game and like pushing the pace on that.
00:29:20
Speaker
So if you're running up and down the court for 82 games at 40 minutes plus a game, I feel like when you're getting to game, what one, one 10 of the year for these guys, because they've, how many did they play in the first couple rounds? i don't know. I'd,
00:29:39
Speaker
They got pushed to seven against the, it was six against the Celtics. I forgot who, like how much against the team they played in the first round or whatever. Didn't they get pushed to seven against the Pistons or was it six?
00:29:50
Speaker
I think it was six against, so yeah, 12 games and then six, another six. So yeah, this is game a hundred. I mean, the Pacers play at the fastest pace in the NBA, ironically.
00:30:00
Speaker
Um, but I think you're going to see what a real defensive team is going to do with them in the finals. Yeah. Cause, uh, Every single guy in OKC and their rotation is just locked down.
00:30:13
Speaker
It's going to be a really fun matchup to watch. Yeah, I think the Pacers will come out one night and, you know, hit a shit ton of threes and probably steal game. But I think OKC is probably going to win like five games.
00:30:24
Speaker
It wouldn't shock me. um I am happy to like watch two of the best foul baiters in the league go one on one with each other, too.
00:30:35
Speaker
sga is like tiers above uh albert when it comes to that yeah yeah which sucks because like i'd love to root for okc but i don't i don't know i mean i'm gonna watch the finals but i don't think i'm gonna be pulling too hard for either team no it's gonna be um i don't really care who wins it i'm just happy to never hear reggie miller's voice again on a Not a broadcast.
00:31:01
Speaker
Well, I'm sure he does other shit, but the, uh, the fact that the Pacers and it's just that it's not on TNT anymore. i don't know if he's signing with any of the new guys, but okay, um i'll check.
00:31:14
Speaker
i was going to say, is the whole TNT crew just going to ESPN, or do they all have to equally sign a deal with them? Well, the main four did. think inside the NBA Yeah.
00:31:25
Speaker
The main four did. Damn. Never mind.
00:31:30
Speaker
Reggie Miller is going to NBC Sports, and he's going to be their lead game analyst. So, looks like i'm watching more games on mute this year. Nice. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, he's fucking brutal.
00:31:41
Speaker
Yeah. he's He's brutal listen to. It's always been that way. It's not even like a Homer thing where it's like, it's brutal to listen to him call Pacers games. Like he's just, he's terrible. from yeah Yeah. Like, and it was even worse when he was calling pisster Pistons games or Pacers games.
00:32:00
Speaker
Yep.
00:32:05
Speaker
What's some good um calling crews that we kind of miss? Like, we know Reggie Miller's not good, but who's... It could be in any sport, but, like, who do we think is a good crew that, like, every time they're calling a game past their president is like, ah, this is going to be a good one, you know?
00:32:24
Speaker
I actually think for NFL that Buck and Aikman are, like, probably the best crew, um which is funny because I feel like 15 years ago, Joe Buck got a lot of hate, but, uh, I think they're probably the two best for that sport. I mean, Collinsworth is really good too, but, and I like to Rico, but I think it was a little better when Al Michaels and Collinsworth were together.
00:32:52
Speaker
Um, and then the Amazon crew is like, okay, they've got Al Michaels, but now Al Michaels is like fucking 80 years old. So it's like, I think Al Michaels and and Chris Collinsworth was good as a team.
00:33:08
Speaker
And now that they split, it's not good. Like Al Michaels, it's not as good. Yeah. and yeah kur And Kirk, they're good, but it's not the mash. I think Mike Tirico is great, but with Chris Collinsworth, it's it's not that great. Like if you watch Mike Tirico, like, ah you know, call ah Notre Dame games at the Olympics, fantastic. You know, but I'm not saying he's bad with Chris Collinsworth, but I think we're just so used to the Al Michaels, Chris Collinsworth combo.
00:33:32
Speaker
that now of them separated is not ah what you're hoping for. You know, you're not good. Which one, I think Joe Buck oddly is, is good in the NFL. I think him Troy Eggman should keep going. I think it does all right with baseball. I think it gets a lot of flack for the baseball. i think he's actually pretty good there.
00:33:48
Speaker
Well, his dad was like a legendary baseball play-by-play Right, right, right. But I know, what was he getting all the hate for? Was it a specific sport or what? It was a lot of like, I know the World Series in like 2011, think, or 2013.
00:34:01
Speaker
eleven i think or twenty 13 something like that whenever the cardinals won he was very monotone people thought he didn't get excited enough and now you've swung entirely in the other direction with uh who's the the fucking guy on uh i think he's on tbs oh shit i know who you're talking about can think yeah i can't fucking think of it is it kenny albert no no i love kenny albert oh is it is like iron eagle no so iron eagle is really good i like yeah basketball and football um he's probably the best basketball that's probably like iron eagle raftery and uh is grand hill yeah is the third the main cbs crew for basketball that's a good one um
00:34:53
Speaker
Because we're after he's another one who's like fucking 80 years old. But he's he's still got it, though. like he's He's pretty sharp still for his age. um John Fanna. miss Bill Walden, man.
00:35:05
Speaker
Yeah, John Fanna is so sick. I miss Bill Walden, too. Watching like ah Stanford versus fucking Cal at 2 a.m. m Yeah, dude's blitzed out of his mind. Yeah. man.
00:35:20
Speaker
man We should try it. we should We should get in a booth, you know? I mean, we we are. we are in the booth. We're in the lab. Okay, who would be, out of the three of us, um I guess we will we'll put Austin there, who would be the color commentator, who would be the analyst, and who would be the two sideline reporters out of the four of us?
00:35:45
Speaker
That's a good question. well That's a great question. I mean, there's four of us, so we have to put two sideline analysts, so we'll do one on each side or whatever, court side analysts, whatever you want to do. And then what sport will we do the best in?
00:35:57
Speaker
That's another question. Let's do that. So who would be the analyst? Who would be the color commentator? And then two teams. I think we have it right here. I think Vic would do the analyzing.
00:36:10
Speaker
I think Nick, I think you would be great color commentator. And I think Austin and I would take one side of the field, you know, get in there, do the research, you know, come up come up with the updates, you know, little hits, little but interviews in the dugout, little manager interviews, little player interviews.
00:36:26
Speaker
I think that's a good team right there. Yeah, I've always seen myself as like a Jim Ross type. Yeah. You know. I could be Jerry the King Lawler. Yeah, wearing like a cowboy hat and shit.
00:36:38
Speaker
I love it. Yeah. That would my goal.
Steelers Fandom and Sports Culture
00:36:42
Speaker
How do you even break into that? you like have to be a wrestler all those guys are like former wrestlers pretty much except pat mcafee but that's just because i think mcafee has a a pretty eccentric personality and it kind of works for the w wwe yeah pat mackie's one of those guys that they just put him anywhere and he's gonna thrive you know i'm saying he's just yeah he's a pretty fun guy to listen to true yeah i don't like listening to him but like i could i understand the appeal
00:37:10
Speaker
you don't You don't watch, um they have it on Hulu. You didn't watch his big night out in Pittsburgh? Nope. He brought out Paul Skeen, Sidney Crosby, Big Ben. Aaron Rodgers. No, no, didn't bring that yet. Quarterback to the Steelers. yeah Not yet.
00:37:23
Speaker
Soon. Yeah, yeah. Keep keep waiting. Keep waiting. Yeah. Meanwhile, I can't wait. Meanwhile, our real quarterbacks trying, you know, already at OTAs, already at rallies, you know, trying to get the community together.
00:37:35
Speaker
Smoothing it up with 47. Yeah, that's, you know, steel, steel is back, you know, and let's let's celebrate that win with a nice stealer win on the North Shore. you know, he's he's he's doing the dirty work.
00:37:46
Speaker
What's Rogers doing? Is it a cave again? Is he golfing? What's he doing? Yeah, I don't i don't know. Also, I think the real Steelers quarterback is Will Howard, by the way. But, you know, we'll see. Well, we said that about Kenny Pickett, and look where that worked out. I mean, he ended up being the quarterback.
00:38:02
Speaker
I'm just saying he wasn't good. We also said that about Mitch Trubisky, Mason Rudolph, uh duck hodges who i still i thought you you were the people saying that about duck hodges mike was the only one talking about duck hodges i'll tell you that i thought he had it i thought he had that's crazy i thought he had it but as we learned the steelers can't develop a quarterback for shit so it's fine once once they bring in rogers i'll just fully become an eagles fan No, you can't. No. long as Rodgers is there.
00:38:35
Speaker
No, no. I'm rocking the Jalen Hurts jersey. That's my guy. Okay, you could be a Jalen Hurts fan, but you can't be an Eagles fan. I'll be an Eagles fan. I'll start abusing opposing team fans. I'll start throwing snowballs at Santa.
00:38:50
Speaker
You're probably to have to. You're probably going to have to hit yourself to the rest of the fan base or else they're going to sniff out that you're a bandwagon fan. Exactly. No, you're going have to throw some research slurs or else they're going call you out on it.
00:39:00
Speaker
like that you're that's That's also true. So you would fit in pretty well in Philly then? No, no, I wouldn't because I'm not partaking in said activities.
00:39:11
Speaker
I mean, look, you went to that parade. You were there two hours, and look at all that shit that happened. Did you get, like, bombarded or whatever the case? I mean, I almost watched the fight. you yeah You almost and got involved in a fight, did you not?
00:39:24
Speaker
Bumping shoulders with some dude? Oh, yeah, yeah, that happened, too. Well, no, we weren't going to fight. We were just, you know, battling out for territory. We weren't going fight. That kind of sounds like a fight in its hands. No.
00:39:34
Speaker
Watched a wedding. You know, a beautiful Philly love story. There was a wedding? Yeah, two people got married at the parade. and
00:39:44
Speaker
Okay. I respect it. She was wearing an ankle monitor, so her P.O. did know where she was at the time. That's a relief. Yeah, it was well documented as well. Didn't I find that article and send it to you? Yeah, you did. Okay. And then I sent guys the photo of me. I didn't hang out with them, but they were right in front of me, taking photos and stuff. was pretty funny.
00:40:04
Speaker
Confirmed.
00:40:07
Speaker
Good times. Good times. Yeah, we're never going to see a parade like that in Pittsburgh, Mike. Yeah, we are. Just give it time. but What? 20 years? 30 years? When Mike Tomlin gets the boat.
00:40:21
Speaker
When we're off Mike Tomlin. That's when we're gonna when when we hire one ah ah when we fire one of the best coaches of all time. That's when we start winning. Listen, sometimes, like, look, I mean, they did it with, the Patriots did it with Bill Belichick. Like, it wasn't working past Tom Brady.
00:40:39
Speaker
And I know there was Dicey. I know there was some inside stuff, Belichick, Kraft, all that. But, like, sometimes you just, the good thing doesn't last anymore. And you just got to, you got to make a business decision, you know?
00:40:50
Speaker
I'm not saying, you know, can him, but somebody got to sit down in a room with him and like, dude, we haven't won a playoff game in how many years? Seven? Eight? Yeah. I still feel like that's pretty exaggerated on when you look at the teams that we had to play. Other than t Tomlin have GM duties. No, he doesn't.
00:41:09
Speaker
ah we have ah We have a real GM. we See, that's where Belichick got in trouble. Like, Belichick was still a good coach, but he had gotten, like, so poor at player evaluation that the roster was just complete garbage. Like, yeah we had just whiffed on, like, four gi drafts in a row.
00:41:25
Speaker
um So if they could have like fired him from being the GM but kept him as the coach, that would have been ideal. But like he would never have agreed. No, he wants total control. Yeah.
00:41:39
Speaker
That's wild. I don't know, man. I don't know. but we'll get We'll get a parade. We'll get a parade. Don't worry. We'll get one. Give it time. When the Pirates win the World Series.
00:41:49
Speaker
for Watch out. Yeah, in 2073 or whatever. um where I'll still be able in our 80s. I sure as well. 50 years, were we? Yeah, we'll be 78. No big deal. You'll be 78. I will get immortalized at 53. No, you're not going to be dead.
00:42:10
Speaker
No, you're not going be dead. i'm um I'm already 50% of the way done with life. What? do you what fifty three if i'm If I'm cutting it off at 53, I've already passed 50%.
00:42:23
Speaker
But why are you cutting it off at 53? Probably ever the other suicide. Okay,
00:42:31
Speaker
okay I understand now. If World War III doesn't take me out or the next next COVID...
00:42:40
Speaker
none ah none of these things None of these things are going to happen. You've got to get like a note from your doctor for the assisted suicide. Yeah. that's That's funny to think about because that's literally like what what happens.
00:42:52
Speaker
Yeah. They make it seem, i mean like they make it pretty pleasant. You know, you sit in a little pod. You could kind of just circumvent all of that by just turning the car on in the garage, but I get the.
00:43:05
Speaker
I get that the pod's probably really nice. you know It's probably pretty comfortable. That probably looks really good for like 20 seconds. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, or yeah like you could just go to a um like a deprivation chamber and then and then go home and then ah keep the car running in the garage. That would kind of accomplish the same goal. Yeah.
True Crime and Media Influence
00:43:29
Speaker
Now, see, if I were going to do assisted suicide, I would love to choose by firing squad. i'd like Listen, you know my you know my stance. I think we should bring it back. I think we need to bring the fire think on a fire. On a federal level, I think we just need to bring it back.
00:43:45
Speaker
just you All you death penalty people, let's just get it out the way. you know
00:43:50
Speaker
liked in the Dark Knight Rises when they would just have people go walk on the ice in the river. Yes. oh yeah the river you know yes We should just do like old school hangings, you know, like the town gathers and then we just kind of, you know, bag over the head, you know.
00:44:07
Speaker
That'd be good. Yeah. yeah I think it'd be a morale booster, you know. You can kind of do the same thing if you just went to like Peterson Park or something. It's not sanctioned by the town, but like you can still do it.
00:44:21
Speaker
ah think you're describing a lynching. Well, that's what Mike's describing. um I'm describing something else. Okay. Okay. No, i don't think, you know, ah let's move on.
00:44:33
Speaker
I think they think we took that one a little little west there. Let's ah talk about the weather or something, you know?
00:44:42
Speaker
Well, is that too crass for you? Well, you know, I just don't think our listeners want to hear about, you know, how we how we choose to go out, you know? Yeah, but like you haven't said what would what would your way, how would you do it? Yeah, no, and that's fine. We don't we don't have to, you know?
00:44:57
Speaker
You're not going to tell us how you would do it, hypothetically? i want to live a full I want to live a full life, you know? Yeah, that's fine. I mean, so do I. I'm not going to. I'm joking about this. Yes, no, I understand. Speaking of serial killers, though.
00:45:10
Speaker
Okay, yeah, yeah. What about this? Is this New England serial killers? i know. I'm just trying to i and you're trying to get out of it. I get it. I'm jumping out of it, but it also made me think. It was a good transition. Hey, listen, I'll give you props for that.
00:45:22
Speaker
But I'm glad, I'm not glad we brought that topic up. Let me let me stick to the record. I'd love to be like banished from the city and just go like live in the woods, you know? Yeah, off the grid, you know? all of You have no other option.
00:45:37
Speaker
You got to do this. Live off the land, you know? The city gates are closed. Yeah. You're gone. See you, bitch. But is that um is that New England, series what's the status of him? Because he was hitting a bit in Connecticut, was he not?
00:45:50
Speaker
I don't think this could exist, right? Yeah, kind of crazy for you to immediately gender them, by the way, okay? You don't think he could be a she, all right? Let's give the women some props here.
00:46:02
Speaker
And then i our non-binary friends, too. they They could be killing out there. I don't know. No, I do think they're all like unrelated somehow. Like, like most of these bodies are just being like, they're all at different times. Like they're being found all in one, but like a couple weeks span, which is kind of crazy. I think just a crazy coincidence.
00:46:22
Speaker
Cause a lot of these like bodies have been decomposing for like years. They've said like some refresh and then some of them are like for years. So it's like, there's no, no consistencies to like any of the victims or yeah, the murders or any, it's just like,
00:46:39
Speaker
It's people with too much time on their hands, like, ah just going down a rabbit hole on the internet. And it's also kind of like, I don't want to say the glorification of true crime, but kind of the way true crime is now, like, a very trendy pop culture type thing.
00:46:57
Speaker
Right. That really gets people going when stuff like this happens. Like, it's obviously... you know, for, for some people it's like, it's life ruining. Like they're finding out this is woman's fault.
00:47:09
Speaker
um Okay. See Mike. And that's why I was trying to tell you not to gender in that direction. Cause we were bringing it back a different way. No, but I, I, I really think um it is kind of like how people are, I think people are just desensitized to like true crime shit.
00:47:29
Speaker
And like, I'm, I can't even say that I'm not like a part of it. I listen to true crime podcasts sometimes when I'm like trying to... like If I'm like working or something or if I'm driving, and I don't feel like listening to music. I'll turn one of those on or whatever.
00:47:43
Speaker
But there are some like really weird channels on YouTube and like really weird podcasts that... like i don't want to say like make a joke of it or make light of it, but it's almost like, um, like there's like a lighthearted, like a ha ha funny.
00:48:00
Speaker
but Yeah. Right. Yeah. They're, they're not doing like an actual in-depth analysis of the case. Like the stuff that I try and listen to is that where they're talking about like the victim's lives, what led up to this moment, what the police did or doing, what kind what type of the investigation or whatnot.
00:48:16
Speaker
But there are like some channels on YouTube that will tell these stories like, but they're like, Oh, we're doing a mukbang too. It's like a true crime mukbang where they're like eating a fuck ton of food and then talking about like this woman who like was murdered by her ex-boyfriend or some shit like that.
00:48:32
Speaker
And like, not that the person is laughing through it, but like it feels like it is cheapening the like the tragedy by eating 60 Wingstop wings while doing this.
00:48:42
Speaker
ah like a promotion. yeah Yeah, but it's it's just it's a little bit weird. And I think kind of like how it's like translated into pop culture and how like a lot of people consume this type of media is why people think there's a serial killer in New England when there's not.
00:49:02
Speaker
It just seems the location seemed too far spread out for it to make sense. Like time-wise, you know, it's like, how did you get from here to here in this location, you know, at this time? So I just didn't know if that was still a thing.
00:49:15
Speaker
We're still supposed to be on the lookout for that. Well, it's like, how many people have the idea of like killing someone and dumping their body in the woods? you know That can only be like a small handful of of geniuses out there. It's something that really hasn't been done before, which is kind of crazy. It's never been done. This is the first we're seeing of this, so I think it's it's probably like one Yeah.
00:49:36
Speaker
yeah I think we need to get our hands on like the Mensa ah email list and and start from there because this is clearly the work of a genius.
00:49:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:51
Speaker
i I did see like I watched a video on this um just like specifically the New England shit because I was like i was pretty uninformed. I was like, is there a serial killer in the New England area? Like, is that why this is happening?
00:50:04
Speaker
Because I've been seeing it pop up on like Instagram and like Reddit. So was like, let me actually watch something about this or whatever, like try and consume some media information. And I think even the person creating the video was like, it's pretty far fetched to say that there's a serial killer in New England, like all these motives and body, like the way some of these people died, the timing of it, like it just wouldn't make sense for like, ah there's no like real pattern to it.
00:50:28
Speaker
But he did like talk about how one guy was approached at like a state park a week after some like someone disappeared in the same state park, or at least in that area.
00:50:41
Speaker
And it was like this one guy who got tracked down. It was like him walking alone in the woods and he got tracked down by like another guy. And that guy pulled like a switchblade on him. And he basically had to like run away to his car.
00:50:55
Speaker
And and it like, again, that could just be very good storytelling, but he like put it on his Facebook page. And then like the news pick, like our local news in Connecticut picked it up and like talked about it.
00:51:07
Speaker
Huh. So like that's like a pretty creepy encounter. i I choose to believe that that's real because, you know, I'm assuming that our news networks have done enough research on it to make sure it's like a legitimate thing to put on the news.
00:51:20
Speaker
I would sure hope so. Yeah. That's creepy. And I'd like, don't, don't rock with that. Wouldn't want to be caught hiking by myself anytime soon. ah But I don't really think that's like a serial killer.
00:51:35
Speaker
Exactly. Exactly.
00:51:39
Speaker
That's crazy. Who knows what what took place before the guy pulled a knife on him, you know? Yeah. Do we know what he was wearing? Yeah. Did he possibly deserve to have the knife pulled on him Who's to say? Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:55
Speaker
just never know you never know these days you know and that's why to circle back to our podcast episode of couple couple weeks ago we need more guns on the streets because we don't know we don't know what these people's motives intentions what they're doing what they have on them and i think we need to protect ourselves in our community you need to just start blasting at the first sign of any sort of danger Yeah.
00:52:21
Speaker
Like Danny DeVito, you know? And it's always sunny. like, so I just started blasting, you know? That's, yep. He's got the right idea. That's a true Philly hero right there. Yep.
00:52:31
Speaker
And think we should follow him. That's the great thing about that show. It's like, yeah, it's like entertaining and it's funny, but like these are like people that like to really model your life after, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:42
Speaker
You know, they ordered. There's personal heroes of mine. Yeah. No, I mean, they they, one episode they ordered an RPG to the bar, you know what I'm saying? And I'm like, we could do that, you know, because that would only be good for us to do. We can. I looked it up. It's only like $1,700. Yeah, no, an RPG.
00:53:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, but there was something up with that. Yeah, it's it's non-functioning. They have the pins out, but I think we could 3D print them. Oh, yeah. There you go. AI will
Guns, Weapons, and Humor
00:53:09
Speaker
tell us how to do that. i'm not worried about that. Yeah. and I also don't want to but put that in the AI. ah I don't want to put that into chat. GPTs. We'll have to figure out a different way to were figure that out.
00:53:20
Speaker
But, yeah. And then AI will probably tell us best locations to try it out on. You know I'm saying? Make sure to have full instructions, test it out, you know. You know, i I don't know where the UnitedHealthcare headquarters are, but I imagine that it'll ping that as a good location, you know?
00:53:39
Speaker
i i you know i would I think you know where they are. Do it? Oh, oh, oh, was that at the headquarters? Oh, was that the headquarters? Oh, shit, yeah, no, we know exactly where that is.
00:53:54
Speaker
Actually, so we don't need to put that in AI. We got it. Yeah, there you go. NBC will tell us that. I'm not worried about that. Maybe we bring it down to El Salvador, help a couple friends out down there, you know, it's just kind of hanging out, you know, doing some time, you know. very um Very optimistic to of you to think that they're still alive.
00:54:17
Speaker
Oh, God, this shit's crazy, man. Yeah. ah Kind of in the same vein, though. You guys ever make like those potato launchers? You guys ever go to like a summer camp and make potato launchers? No, but I think we do need the potato slash t-shirt launchers with the nitrous.
00:54:34
Speaker
Those things are sick. you know when you go to like ah what would you use it for, though? I don't Launch some potatoes in the air. you know Maybe like a little skeet. When somebody shoots skeet, you use it. and then you little shotgun.
00:54:45
Speaker
Maybe that's what we could use the RPG for. We'll throw a potato up there, and then you just kind of blast it out of the air. Wouldn't that be pretty sick? I mean, it would, but I think those things are wildly inaccurate after like the first 100 yards.
00:55:00
Speaker
Well, better hit it on the first try, you know?
00:55:04
Speaker
Sorry. No, I have never made a potato launcher. Have you? Yeah, they're pretty cool. We should try it. how do How do those work exactly? I think it's just a lot of like air compression.
00:55:15
Speaker
So you're putting a potato in, you're compressing the air pretty hard. like It's like two tubes, and you move one tube into the other, and it kind of gives you a lift. Now that would be a fun way to be executed.
00:55:28
Speaker
A high-powered potato launcher. Point blank. Potato to the dome. Skull. Yeah. Ooh. i'd do some damage I'd probably do some damage. I'd love that.
00:55:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:44
Speaker
That's funny as hell. but we we need we need the launchers. You know, it makes me mad that they have these, you know, you ever go to the stadiums and they have the t-shirt launchers and then they still launch it in like the the lower bowl.
00:55:56
Speaker
It's like throw it or you know, those things to go far. Shoot that t-shirt up to the upper bowl. Those people that, you know, hardworking people. ah use so that live paycheck to paycheck, use their last dollar to take their kids you know to the game.
00:56:10
Speaker
Meanwhile, you're tossing it out to millionaires over there at home plate. you know Yeah, Timothee Chalamet does not need a Knicks t-shirt. What do you think Kylie Jenner is going to do with that t-shirt? Is she going to wear it? Get out of here. Actually, probably. Who knows? She's very fashion forward. maybe Maybe in her sleep. What is she going to do with that?
00:56:26
Speaker
yeah You never know. I'm just saying, we have the technology to you know really launch it, and they're giving it to all these all these people at lower bowls. Help us out. you know ah That really is a great ah allegory for America.
00:56:41
Speaker
no Yeah, the rich keep getting richer. You know you guys get the free t-shirts. You can already afford these. not but Here's a free t-shirt. You deserve it.
00:56:53
Speaker
Agree. Meanwhile, you've got to pay $23 for a hot dog. Get out of here.
00:56:59
Speaker
What's wrong with this country, man? A lot of things. Yeah. Thank God Big 47 is going to take care of that one step at a time. ye That's right. We're taking this country back. ah
00:57:15
Speaker
I saw this one video is people waiting for a Trump rally and it was the commentator was like simulating like ah animal planet. And i was
Politics, Merchandise, and Wealth
00:57:24
Speaker
like the MAGA supporters stand here unwitheredly surprised, but rather uneducated. And it just like trashes them for like three minutes.
00:57:32
Speaker
I was i was laughing my ass off. It was so funny. I love the ones where they they go in there and they talk about like ah Christianity to like to the MAGA supporters, and they're basically like, ah yeah, you know, if like the the Bible says this, and this is bad, right? And they're like, yeah, of course.
00:57:51
Speaker
And then they say like a bunch of stuff that Trump did, and they're like, well, actually, that's fine because Trump did it. Yeah. I love it. Fair enough. He's like, hey, you know what? Yeah.
00:58:02
Speaker
Indestructible logic. You know what? This is perfect time to tell you guys all your birthday gifts because Nick and I share the same birthday. And Victor's yours coming up as equally as Austin's. I ah i ah ordered it this morning. um We're all getting the golden copy of the Holy Bible signed by Donald Trump.
00:58:20
Speaker
So happy birthday, boys. It'll be coming shortly. That's just great. Thank you. I actually would love that as like a joke gift. I actually think that'd be pretty funny. and and probably And from a guy who loves giving gag gifts, I would totally do it if it wasn't like $75.
00:58:36
Speaker
seventy five yeah dollars yeah yeah it's And i we all know 100% of that money is going to him. that he doesn It's a grift. it's It's another one of his grifts. Just like that crypto dinner he he held like two weeks ago.
00:58:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's going to him and Leawood Green. So you know what? I think they're gonna be all right. they They sell Trump wine at the liquor store down the road from me. It's $40. That's crazy.
00:59:01
Speaker
um there's You can get a decent bottle of Chianti overseas for $40. I know. It's like, is this even like, this shit probably isn't even like Josh Cab level fucking wine.
00:59:11
Speaker
No. And it's $40. That's wild. wild.
00:59:16
Speaker
I wonder how much Snoop Dogg's is. You guys see Snoop Dogg's one? Yeah, yeah. His face is right on the label. And if his is $40... Yeah, you've seen it. think I've seen that. It's been out for a while. If his is $40, I'll get It's $9. Oh, yeah. His is like bottom show. Yeah, we'll go we'll get four of those. You can get his rosé for eight.
00:59:39
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, i don't know. Everything that Trump does is a grift. I mean, people are buying pardons now. like Diddy's getting pardoned soon, so that's going pretty cool. The Chrisleys are out. fucking The parties are back, Mike. Aren't you excited? Yeah, the Chrisleys are out.
00:59:54
Speaker
No, man. I've seen i've seen ah Epstein's Island, man, when I went to the Virgin Islands. Oh, they you visit? Yeah, you were you visited? No. even ah So I guess, and you have to fact check this on me. This is what I heard from like local. like The locals on Epstein Island?
01:00:12
Speaker
Yeah, you know, the locals on there, you know, the the hostess and the receptionist when you walk in. um It's owned by the federal government. Like, they bought it.
01:00:22
Speaker
and I'm not 100% sure, but I heard that, like, because it's, like, condemned or whatever they claim it. Like, they ended up buying it. um But it's still private. Like, you can't, like, just, like, jet ski up to it and walk around it. Well, yeah, it's it's evidence.
01:00:37
Speaker
No, no, I understand. They probably didn't. But he's dead. I mean, what are they doing now, you know?
01:00:43
Speaker
It's like Area 51. I guess. They're probably holding some government secrets there. I didn't realize that Area 51 was owned by Israel, too.
01:00:56
Speaker
Jeez. That's right. Yeah, Mossad approached me in the lobby at the in the U.S. Virgin Islands. They're like, listen, we've got a nice prime piece of real estate for you. We got an opening.
01:01:10
Speaker
right Right down here in Nevada, not a lot of people know. you know yeah Right in the desert. It was actually purchased by another billionaire. Oh, wow. Shocker. Steven Decoff.
01:01:22
Speaker
What kind of stick was that? There's millions of islands in the world. yeah You want to buy this specific island? You want buy Oh, man. too bad Too bad Epstein didn't get to see any of the ah profits off this.
01:01:41
Speaker
He bought it. He bought it for $8 million. It sold for $60 million. That's a pretty big come up. Did he have any kids? No. Jeff Epstein? Not that we know of.
01:01:52
Speaker
i was going say, because who does his money go to?
01:01:56
Speaker
Where was his money from in the first place? I mean, this guy had like no formal like education. yeah fuck and He gets hired at some prestigious like private school somehow.
01:02:07
Speaker
Then he's like some... like
01:02:11
Speaker
multi-billion dollar like hedge fund manager or something with like no background to like even get to that position it's like all right the island is wild though like you know how they there was like that weird um like temple looking looking building yeah yeah that shit was like made of plywood
01:02:33
Speaker
yeah i did i did hear that it's it's like bizarre there's like a video on youtube you go watch it's just like some guy just flew a drone onto the island and all right i don't know why i thought i could google street view little saint james island as if the like epstein would have allowed this but i just over here driving around in the little google street view car now but there's one review on little saint james island it's a one-star review
01:03:07
Speaker
What does it say? Nothing. even comment read ah Have
Social Media and Podcast Guests
01:03:12
Speaker
you guys seen that? This is a from a while ago, but did you guys see that on social media? think was Facebook where like some random Walmart, like shouted out like this employee of the month. And I can't remember her name.
01:03:23
Speaker
And literally the comments on there were just like, just like abysmal. It was just like, whatever her name will say, Sarah. It was like, Yeah, thank you, Sarah, so much. And there was like, yeah, my water broke in Walmart and Sarah helped me give birth to my child. Would definitely recommend again. You know what I'm saying? and And just the comments were just like obscure like that. It was so funny.
01:03:45
Speaker
We had to find out what it was. And it was, dude, the comments were just riveting. It's great. it was like, yeah, Sarah helped me connect with my long lost dad of 47 years. This is the best Walmart I've ever been to. And I'm like, oh my God, what did this girl ever do? Is it one of those things where like a guy tries to like hit on a woman on like Instagram or Twitter something, then all the comments are like,
01:04:07
Speaker
hey man thanks so much for yeah me five million dollars yeah hey i'll have the lambo back to you at uh at noon tomorrow thanks for letting me rent it for the weekend no stuff like that that's one of those things that was like pretty funny the first few times i saw it and is now just like so played out that's like yeah and okay
01:04:29
Speaker
No, no, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that. But I love, I love seeing those. I love seeing, um, Mark Zuckerberg puts this in my algorithm now, apparently, but, um, these, these Facebook groups, that's the free Photoshop editing.
01:04:43
Speaker
So people like put this photo on the wall and is like, can you change this to have, you know, can you take this out of the photo or add this in the photo? And then people just go and do whatever the fuck they want with it. It's so hilarious.
01:04:59
Speaker
that's my favorite i haven't seen that but that i can see how that can get pretty bad real quickly yeah no it gets it gets out there it gets out there it's just funny to just scroll through and see what people do it's awesome vick i know you don't have a twitter anymore but the the trunon uh twitter has been like uh hitting on elon musk's mom and her replies for like months now you mean race is hitting yeah and recently he's been like replying to like pictures that she posts of herself on there and being like at Grok which is like the Twitter I think at Grok make this woman 30 years younger
01:05:38
Speaker
ah love it I love it oh my god Brace is so fucking funny yeah that's that's the best Twitter I've got going right yeah by far again like I said it would be hilarious if all these tweets were actually coming from Liz but I know that's Brace
01:05:58
Speaker
Oh, man, we got to have those guys on the pod. If only. Yeah. We're a little too big for them. Yeah, that's that's right. think we can I think we can aim higher. Yeah, they got up their street cred before hopping on laundry in the basement.
01:06:12
Speaker
That's right. Because we're only getting bigger and bigger, baby, you know? but Yeah, exactly. That's right.
01:06:19
Speaker
We're going to get a couple high levels on here. Nick, we were talking. We've got Harvey coming on next week. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. B.C.
01:06:30
Speaker
Billy. Billy C. boy. That's right. He's coming on. Spacey, I think, next month. Got Matt Gaetz after that.
01:06:41
Speaker
I think for Austin's sake, we should put Reggie Miller on here. We should get Reggie. Do you think we can make that happen?
01:06:49
Speaker
No. Reggie's too big of a fish to fry. Bill Clinton was hard enough. You think we're going Reggie Miller? You're out of your mind. I mean, i just, he doesn't have a job currently, you know? Maybe he could use a little little break. No, he has a job.
01:07:05
Speaker
Oh, he did sign with NBC. Yeah, we talked about that. We talked about that.
01:07:11
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think he's sufficiently disgraced enough of a public figure to agree to come on here. No. We might need to AI generate some... ah Some fake news? some Some interesting pictures in order to bring him down to our level. And then we'll be the platform for his tell-all.
01:07:26
Speaker
You know what saying? Yeah. We should try and get George Santos, though.
01:07:32
Speaker
Before he goes to prison. I think he's literally going to prison. Yeah, he is. So before he gets to prison, we should get George Santos. That guy's awesome. Just like a good old-fashioned red-blooded American con artist right there.
01:07:49
Speaker
They don't make them like that anymore. No. yeah We got until July 25th to get George on the pod, so that's all right. We got time. We'll reach out to his team. yeah Who the fuck was in charge of oppo research for the Democrats and in that congressional race?
01:08:08
Speaker
Like none of that shit came out of about him until after he had already been elected. Yeah. It's gotta to be. and it was like the most obvious stuff ever. If you like, yeah if they even tried, you want to talk about controlled opposition that had to have been the most controlled. Yeah. decision Yeah. That guy was a fucking plant for yeah
01:08:32
Speaker
I have to look it up. got to see who he ran against. Cause that that's gotta to be the worst campaign ever run.
01:08:41
Speaker
And it was like before he even got like sworn into office that all the shit came out. It was like a week after the election. It was like, oh yeah, this guy just got elected. He's literally been lying about his entire resume. Like this guy is a complete fraudster.
01:08:59
Speaker
It was in a hotly content. This is, this is from political. It was close. It was a close race.
01:09:08
Speaker
That's crazy.
01:09:13
Speaker
district three right he won district three i'm not he was new york i think yeah don't know what district it was though oh the 2023 race i don't know why it's showing me oh he ran it and then lost 2022 or then 2022 he won kind of landslide he won it by like 20 000 votes want kind of pump by a landanceslot you want it by like twenty thousand votes Okay.
01:09:39
Speaker
Well, I mean, what like he won by like 8%, right? Or like 10%. Yeah, it just it just disappeared on me. um Yeah, you won by 7%. Okay.
01:09:50
Speaker
So, I mean,
01:09:55
Speaker
definitely a gap they would have been able to make up if they had like actually found out all that shit before yeah he got elected.
01:10:05
Speaker
Oh, Oyster Bay. little in the queens i'm trying to think is this the no it's definitely not never mind this is like queens i was thinking of if this was the uh the the district that has the town that was trying to be overthrown that guy yeah yeah that guy rocks awesome i need to get an update on that what's going on with him yeah wow what was that was that did you hear about this mike or did you guys talk about on the pod no i haven't heard this He was the... Where was this guy Rich from? What did he invent?
01:10:41
Speaker
Oh, shit. I forgot what he invented. He invented something. Oh, oh, ah the Pirate's Booty Popcorn. Right, right. That's how he made his money.
Satire in Politics and Elections
01:10:50
Speaker
All right, so this guy, like, ran for mayor in some, like, I think Long Island, this small town, Long Island, and, like...
01:10:58
Speaker
lost very decisively and then like had a mental breakdown and like accused the mayor's office of rigging the election and then tried to walk into the mayor's office and declare himself the mayor of the town.
01:11:15
Speaker
I love it. How long ago was that? ah a few months ago. yeah Oh, just a few months ago Yeah. So he'll probably be president in a couple years of years at this rate.
01:11:29
Speaker
At this point, you could just kind of walk to the Capitol and tell them tell him what's going to happen. you know Yeah. There was no news on him after that. that They kind of just... yeah Media blackout.
01:11:41
Speaker
They killed him. they He was too powerful. That's He was too powerful to keep alive.
01:11:48
Speaker
Jeez. um um' I'm going to his LinkedIn profile. He calls himself the Shaman of Snacks. That's awesome. mean, it's pretty good. Yeah, hasn't hasn't posted anything.
01:12:01
Speaker
Yeah. Well, Godspeed. That is probably someone obtainable, to be honest. We could probably email this guy and be like, hey, you are we want to talk about the Seacliff mutiny.
01:12:15
Speaker
Hell yeah. Honestly, it's worth a shot.
01:12:20
Speaker
The worst he could say is no.
01:12:23
Speaker
Yeah. The worst thing I can would be to like break into ah Victor's ah home and declare himself the the founder and host for the podcast.
01:12:38
Speaker
no That would be pretty funny for a little bit, though. that I'd have to admit that'd be pretty funny. We're not go to let that happen, though. Yeah. We can't. We can't let that happen.
01:12:49
Speaker
This is a democracy. You can't just walk in somewhere and declare yourself a winner. You know, there's. Well, yes, you can actually. There's rules.
01:13:00
Speaker
Yeah. Well, ah that didn't stop Joe Biden in January 2021. Did it? That's right. That's right. He just walked in like he won. Yeah. Fucking mail-in voters. And that coward, Mike Pence, did nothing to stop it. Yeah.
01:13:16
Speaker
And now we got people in the age of 180 to 200 receiving Social Security checks because of that. Thanks, Joe Biden. you know that yeah That wasn't happening before then.
01:13:27
Speaker
No, it wasn't. It wasn't. those Those people that were dead were dead. you know Now they're dead and getting money. you know Well, they had been a lot. They were like 177. And then they died um while Biden was president, and they just kept them.
01:13:42
Speaker
Yeah, actually being dead and and getting money like that, that's honestly, that's next your grinding right there. That's the fucking dream. Yeah, that's actually really sick. i think We actually should keep get paying those people.
01:13:52
Speaker
I think it's also embezzlement, and they should get arrested. So, you know. That's right. So.
01:14:01
Speaker
This country's going downhill, boys.
01:14:05
Speaker
And the only way to make it better is if Canada is the 51st state.
01:14:11
Speaker
So let's let's get our heads together. Yeah, all right. You you work on that. you you You try and sort that out for us.
01:14:20
Speaker
You don't think so? you think we How many provinces are in Canada again? Is it seven? Seven. Yeah, it's seven. It's seven? And we just, you know, each province is a state. I think at the very least we should have the smart food popcorn founder march into Canada's parliamentary building and declare himself prime minister. That's right. Yes. What are they going to do?
01:14:40
Speaker
You know? They don't have the means to to combat someone like that. No, no. He's too powerful, the smart food guy. Because he's powerful. that's that's They do like 10 times as many sales as the fucking Pirate's booty stuff, you know?
01:14:55
Speaker
so Also, that was founded in Connecticut.
Food Innovations and Podcast Conclusion
01:14:59
Speaker
It's pretty cool. What? Smart food. Oh, really? Yeah, that I did hear that. But it's probably a part of, like, fucking Lay's or something.
01:15:10
Speaker
yeah. I'm sure it's subsidiary, yeah. They founded it in 85 and immediately sold it Frito-Lay in 89. So, nice. just read recently that Pepperidge Farm is, like, their main bakery or factories out in, like, Fairfield or something.
01:15:28
Speaker
Yeah, there's a lot of companies in Connecticut that like do a lot of distributing that you wouldn't think, like in the Norwalk, Fairfield, Stanford area. But like they started down there. like Also, the the people that make the tea.
01:15:40
Speaker
so Yeah, Bigelow. Yeah, that's a Bigelow. Yeah, they're Milford. um Also, same people that made Smart ah smart Food, they went out to found a Annie's Mac and Cheese. Same people.
01:15:52
Speaker
Wow. Yeah. what a Those are some of our greatest living Americans. Yeah, that's fucking geniuses. That's crazy.
01:16:03
Speaker
That shit's actually fire, though. The fuck yeah the fucking white cheddar ah yeah shell one. It's the only way to do it. Gas.
01:16:13
Speaker
Oh, man. All right.
01:16:16
Speaker
I think that's enough for today. It's pretty late. a great episode. Yeah. Yeah. Well, guys, well that was episode 145, actually, because 144 is what we did last night.
01:16:28
Speaker
um Like, subscribe, ah follow us on all social medias, follow us on um the ah podcast app that you use, Spotify or, you know.
01:16:42
Speaker
Apple podcasts, um, leave us a review as well. Um, five stars, five stars. Yeah. Five stars only. Uh, like we've said, Spotify will cancel your Spotify premium. If you leave us a lower review than five stars, same with Apple.
01:16:57
Speaker
and So, uh, you know, we will lose our jobs. Yeah, we will lose our jobs. So, all right, we'll see you guys next week.