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Episode 127 - Mister Happy's
13 Plays3 months ago
Nothing beats a free turkey dinner on Thanksgiving...
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Transcript
Introduction and Glasses Talk
00:00:00
Speaker
What's up guys? Welcome back to episode 127 of Laundry in the Basement. And a one and a two and a skiddly diddly do. For our, our, our video watchers. I don't know how many of them there are. This is our intellectual episode. That's right. As you can see, Mike and I are sporting our glasses. So is Victor. Well, I always wear my glasses. That's why. Are you a prescription? Yes. Oh no, nevermind.
00:00:29
Speaker
Oh, yours not. Well, no, mine's blue light because as I started working from home, I really needed them. OK. All right. Mike, you're telling me those aren't prescription. If you got prescription glasses, would they be that shape? 100 percent. I love it. But like, I don't feel comfortable for your face. But they are. But I love it. If I showed you a picture of my my grandfather that lived with me from like late 90s, early 2000s, you'd be like, that's it.
00:00:57
Speaker
That's the type. But I don't feel comfortable wearing them out. I people do that, like just wear like fake glasses out as like a an accessory. And I don't know if I'm comfortable doing that. I used to do that. What constitutes fake here because they have a purpose, you know? Yeah. But come on, wearing a blue light glass out to like lunch with your friends in the middle of the day is kind of weird. And I did that. I did that. But now I.
00:01:26
Speaker
Yeah, I've never done it during the day. If I'm out at night and like I've worn them out under like the excuse of like, no, see, because like if I look at screens, I won't have a hard time falling asleep. I wasn't doing it. I just want to wear the glasses. Well, I think it's the thing I think it's also like for me, it's like.
00:01:45
Speaker
Everybody knows me since the dawn of time not wearing glasses and I'm just gonna show up wearing glasses It's like the same thing if I just like showed up start wearing hats, you know, like that's just it's not a different repertoire, you know But you guys always wore hats, you know, like listen I didn't really start wearing my glasses until like two years ago And I mean it's just cuz my eyesight deteriorated so much that I was like damn I kind of need glasses Yeah, but you you need glasses. Well now I do but I'm saying I used to wear them when I didn't I
00:02:13
Speaker
not prescription, but yeah, like, well, that's the thing. If you need glasses, like just start wearing them and people will forget what you look like without glasses, yourself included. You know what I mean? No. But what I'm saying is I don't need glasses. So I don't feel comfortable going out wearing glasses that have essentially zero purpose.
00:02:34
Speaker
I mean, you could just start lying. You could just be like, yeah, they do have purpose that I have a very, very small prescription. I need them. People have lied about so much worse, Mike. Yeah. I'm going to be like, these are my cheaters. You know, are we at that age where we need cheaters?
00:02:51
Speaker
No. I don't even know what that is, to be honest. That's that's a phrase that escapes me. It's like never heard of like the super light prescription glasses that people wear at night when they read because they don't want to strain their eyes. Oh, no. They're the ones they're the ones that don't need a prescription. So like, what is it like one point five or two point five? It goes up to a certain point that you could just buy over the counter that you don't need a prescription for. Those are the ones that are like they're like half.
00:03:17
Speaker
You know, okay, you see them in like like a Dollar General or something like that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. They're like the little Ben Franklin glasses. You know, they're not a full lens. They like the half lens. Yeah. I always wondered. I was like, damn, how could you just buy these at like a dollar store? Like how do they know your prescription or whatever? I guess that makes a lot of sense. Clover Valley cheaters. You know what I'm saying? Clover Valley. That's a Dollar General's generic brand name. Oh, my God.
00:03:47
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, you just get them anywhere. So I don't know. I don't feel I feel like I'm not there yet. Ready to lie to the world that I'm wearing fake glasses. You know, I got to take a selfie real quick just to show that I have the jersey. Sorry. It's got to post quickly for his only fans. Yeah. He doesn't know. You don't miss his streak. No, my friends. Again, we're talking about the game.
00:04:10
Speaker
And it sucks that it's gonna be, I wanted the Bills to win tonight, obviously, but I guess we're running back Eagles Chiefs from two years ago. And I've become such a big Jalen Hurts fan that I'm really just a ruin for him to beat the Chiefs next to Erville in two weeks.
Paul Skeens Card Discovery
00:04:27
Speaker
Did you guys hear about the Paul Skeens? I'm sorry, I cut you off. No, no, no, no. You brought something up for me. I know about the Paul Skeens thing. It's crazy.
00:04:36
Speaker
I need context. So basically Paul Skeens, he's a like a rookie pitcher for the Pirates. He basically everyone was looking for this one of one card. It's the only card in existence. It's from his debut. He signed it or whatever. Literally the only one since he like went out and won like rookie of the year this year or whatever, or I don't think he did. Maybe he was either way. He like had a really good year.
00:05:02
Speaker
He's supposed to be he's incredible. Basically. People were like scavenging for those cards because card collecting is somehow made a swing back into like popular culture. Like a lot of people are whether it's like baseball or sports cards or like Pokemon. Like, I don't know if you've seen any of the videos from the last couple of weeks because there was a new Pokemon card drop.
00:05:27
Speaker
But people were fighting each other like fist fighting each other at Costco's to get these Pokemon cards. I'm not even joking. I feel like I feel like that's something that fell out of like never really fell out of favor.
00:05:41
Speaker
No, no, I feel like card collecting did kind of like maybe not Pokemon cards, but I feel like they are in the background. Yeah. Or it was just super niche. Like obviously the guys who are doing it knew that this was going on, but it wasn't like a pop culture thing. I wasn't seeing tick tocks or reels of like people fighting each other before like the past couple of years. You know what I mean? Like.
00:06:03
Speaker
Yeah, but then you saw those videos of like the Paul brothers like doing box unopenings and like putting down crazy Like bids and stuff like that on these cards. I probably I think yeah, I think that is what helped it swing back up for sure But anyway back to the skeins thing So one-on-one card, you know so
00:06:26
Speaker
Basically, the team wanted it. I don't know if Paul wanted it for himself, which would be kind of weird because it's like, why would you want a baseball card to yourself? That's right. It seemed like the team wanted it. So they offered the kid or well, they offered whoever pulled it 30 years.
00:06:44
Speaker
of season tickets behind home plate to any like to the pirates games. Um, a softball game with 30 friends and like pirates, uh, legends and stuff like that, players from the team, whatever, like a 30, you can invite 30 people to come play softball. Like a bunch of skeins, like, um, like autographed jerseys, bats meeting him, like taking a photo, um, like a bunch of memorabilia from like the pirates and then him.
00:07:14
Speaker
I have it here if you want me to read it off. It's all right. Either way, Mike kind of gave it away to our visual listeners. He turned it down because that card at auction will be worth millions.
00:07:27
Speaker
Also, this was an 11 year old in the West Coast who had it. Yeah. So it's like what are pirates home games going to do for you? If you're if you're an 11 year old on in California, why do you care about going? They suck, too. It's like, why would you want to go for 30 years to see them be ass like if it was if it's worth millions? And that was the right call. Yeah. But percent. Because I mean, how much like season tickets for the pirates are how much per year?
00:07:56
Speaker
I would say if you're not sitting behind home plate, if you just have a regular seat, probably like 50 bucks, right? They're awful. They suck. No, no, no. I'm just saying they're so bad. Why would you do that?
00:08:08
Speaker
Dude, I'd be a season ticket holder for 50 bucks. Are you nuts? Yeah. I think the diamondbacks were selling theirs at like three, like you could buy the, the lowest or like the highest, like, you know, in the, the nose bleeds for like 300 bucks a couple of years ago before they got really good. So I assume the pirates are pretty cheap to, to get to every game. Did this just happen? Yeah. It happened like last week. And did that kid, did he just sitting on it now?
00:08:37
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it's going to go to auction. So the auction I assume the auctioneers probably have it like in their possession in like a case or whatever, you know, like sealed away. But. Yeah, he he already he declined the offer. Smart. Yeah. You can smart. You can technically build.
00:08:56
Speaker
maybe not generational wealth, like, you know, maybe it only goes for like one or 2 million, which is still like an astronomical amount of money for an 11 year old, but like, yeah, 11 year old invests, even if it's a million dollars. Yeah. Think about what that will be. If he doesn't touch it by the time of retirement age, that's crazy.
00:09:16
Speaker
Listen, they play the Yankees in Pittsburgh. April 4th, 5th, 6th, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I'm looking at this now. You guys want to go. Maybe that's the podcast road trip. Oh, we do. We do the pod. On the road or are you talking about like in the stadium? They would not allow us to do that. It would be hilarious if we don't ask them to be like, hey, could we? Well, I mean, we would have to sneak the gear in.
00:09:45
Speaker
They wouldn't allow it in the air. We'll do it in the airport. We'll land and then we'll just set up in the new terminal they're going to have. I don't know the new terminal is going to be ready, but. But yeah, we hold on. Think about it. Sorry. Random tangent. Think about if we just took the whole set up and we went into the subway in the city. And just did a podcast episode from the subway.
00:10:09
Speaker
Right there, North Shore exit, where you get off for the Pirates, uh, for the pirate stadium. Beautiful. I love how much, how much, uh, content you
Podcast Success and Patreon
00:10:17
Speaker
would get. I think awesome at the New York subway system rather than the Pittsburgh one, but yeah, I mean, we could either one, I don't do it. I think it'd be pretty funny. Be kind of cool.
00:10:27
Speaker
Yeah, I think we need a generator. I don't know if we get we know we get so many people going by like We put a little we put one of our hats upside down like busking or whatever to get to get tips and donations Which we do need and we do need if you want to subscribe we are on patreon If we get it if we get enough
00:10:53
Speaker
If we get enough, so we get more money. Yeah. If we get enough subs, we will start doing extra episodes. Uh, that obviously only happens for podcasts that are really successful. So I know that's not going to happen to us, but you know, fuck it. If we ever get there, we will do that. I have that optimism. I mean, Hey, maybe we get there. I'm not going to, I'm not going to sit there and say that we might not, but you know, I'm just, you know, putting that out there, put, put the good vibes out there. So yeah, if you want to find us on Patreon, we are there.
00:11:20
Speaker
We have not posted anything in two years. Oh yeah, or direct Venmo. You know, if you want to support the podcast that way. Anytime you see me, slide me five dollars. Five dollars. I'll take cash. That's fine. I mean, a coffee. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
00:11:40
Speaker
You could write it off as a business expense, you know, that's right. Or, um, every Saturday you can, you can see, uh, uh, Mike and mr. Happies every, uh, every Saturday, Thursday night, they do, uh, the free, the free roast beef dinner after 4 p.m. All you can eat. Yeah, they do. Go everybody go see Mike on roast beef dinner night. Which, which roast beef is all you can eat.
00:12:09
Speaker
Well, everything for everything's for a price, you know, that's fair. Is that really a special or are you just pulling that out? Like, no, no, I'm serious. First of all, tickets, such an odd choice for them. Oh, no. You're looking at the baseball game right now. Yeah. Tickets, tickets for the pirates. Oh, dude, I thought you were talking about Mr. Happy. No, we are talking about Mr. Happy. And I'm upset the one year and I'm going to tell you why. Because for the holidays, for like Easter and Thanksgiving, they'll do like a.
00:12:39
Speaker
Thanksgiving I know for sure they'll do a free turkey dinner after 4 p.m. if you go on Thanksgiving and every time I show up at like my cousin's house and stuff for Thanksgiving like guys we could be eating for free I don't understand what the problem is I'll be honest that's really depressing that is really sad to hear if you're going to spend your Thanksgiving at a water berry strip club and
00:13:04
Speaker
man for free. Not even food. I'm saying hang it up any in a different way. Do you know just any strip club? It's your hometown strip club. No, no, no, it's not hometown. And you know, you know, hometown would be a rock star, hometowns, the rock star. I'm upset because my favorite, I won't use the word, but at the time, my favorite star was at the. Yes, it's all the actress. Yes, thank you. Cut out corn star, please. No, we're leaving that.
00:13:31
Speaker
At the time, my my favorite adult actress was at the local the local strip club and I was dating a girl at the time and she forbidden me to go. I was pretty upset. That's good. I could have met a celebrity. That's really lame. Could have been a celebrity. My brother-in-law was ready to go with me. He was like, say the word. And I was like. Imagine there would have been a lot of there would have been a lot of high school employees who would have been there. You know what I'm saying?
00:14:02
Speaker
You guys, you guys get the the opportunity if you ever got the opportunity to get involved in porn, not saying now because you're a little bit more into your adult life, but say like, you know, you just reached that ripe old age of 18 and somebody approaches you and says, slap on a fake mustache and join me in this video. You doing it? No.
00:14:24
Speaker
I got too much body dysmorphia, bro. Come on. I'm not trying to see myself on camera. There are niches for everything, man. But I feel like the game has turned into older instead of younger. But what's the terms and conditions? What do I get out of this? How did it get older? Yeah, what?
00:14:45
Speaker
No, I wonder what are you watching these? What? I'll hold that. The reason I brought this up is I feel like if anybody out of us would do it, it would be Mike. Again, what's the terms and conditions? I feel like I think it's the glasses and you put on a nice little mustache. You got to like the right look. OK, thank you for the compliment. But what do I get out of this? I'm trying to get you get to have some money on camera.
00:15:14
Speaker
Yeah, you get money that pays pretty well from what I understand. I'd not that I've ever been approached. I'd have to say a contract. Yeah. All right. What's your what's your number, then? What is your number?
Adult Entertainment Industry Insights
00:15:30
Speaker
But hold on. Why wouldn't we all say yes? I just told you I have body dysmorphia. So no. Yeah. Some people don't want to be put out. I don't want to be on camera. Do when I was 18, I was skinny as shit. You can see my ribcage, but money is money, you know what I'm saying?
00:15:43
Speaker
Yeah, but it's a different thing. They do. They do blur out the faces sometimes. Sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. So what's your number, Mike? Again, you're probably the most likely to do it. What is your number? That's right. I don't, I don't know what the industry goes for. I don't know what, uh, who cares what the industry goes for. What's your number? What's your number?
00:16:08
Speaker
If I came up to you right now and I said 10 grand. Bro, I was trying to make minimum wage for porn when we're telling him to name his price. He's like, oh, well, I don't I don't know. I got to want to be too ambitious. Twenty five an hour. No. Twenty five an hour. That's pretty close to minimum wage now anyways. Yeah. That's not. Hey, listen, that's not bad. That's like probably one hundred and sixty bucks. Right. I'll go 30, 18 years old. I'll go 30 K.
00:16:39
Speaker
for a single video? Yeah. Okay. That's a little bit. That is way above market rate, but yeah, it's steep. We'll see what HR has in the budget. Yeah. If you, if you, if you, you know, dazzle us, it might be there for you. See them as an investment piece. I think the going rate is like, you got to take a zero out of there, bud. I think it's like 3k.
00:17:04
Speaker
No, I mean, I agree. Oh, I agree. Yeah. Well, like, again, think about how many times they're filming a year for one. And like, think about how many videos you can produce in a year. If you do like 100 videos at like 3K.
00:17:20
Speaker
Yeah, and up front they're not giving you like a whole set they're gonna pass you a camcorder and be like Listen, you got your couch at home submit videos. Okay, so you're saying 3k video. Yeah, so so Okay, so you're saying to start from the bottom. I thought I was under the impression that like I
00:17:40
Speaker
Big corporate was coming up to you and be like, you know, well, no, I mean again name of price Yeah, well that's that's what we were saying, but we're telling you what the realistic price is 30k is your price. That's fine. We're just telling you what the actual market rate is probably no. Yeah, if I'm if We can look this up. I don't know why we're speculating. Yeah, this is yeah. Hold on in front of us Because that brings up an interesting point. Is there like a is there like a Pornhub? corporate headquarters
00:18:11
Speaker
I believe so. You could work as like a web dev for Pornhub. But are you at home? I have to assume so. Do you show up in a suit and tie? But listen, now nobody's signing with big corporate dressing in a full suit to go to my job at Pornhub.
00:18:36
Speaker
Everybody gets like, you know, like they're on their monitors. They're all in like some big corporate office and all of them are like editing the videos. Yeah. What do you know? But it's the it's the media company that does it. So what if you were an employee of that website? What do you what's your job description exactly?
00:18:55
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. This is crazy. I got a, I got a, I got some breaking news for you guys. Give it a week. This is 2016. Maybe, maybe inflation has raised these prices, but in general males average 500 to 600 per scene or day, which is still not bad, but that's way higher or that's way lower than we thought. We said 3000. Listen, if that was cash under the table,
00:19:22
Speaker
That's not bad. It's kind of a kind of a good deal. Yeah, you're probably gonna have to shoot 200 scenes. You know, a year, but that's not bad. Yeah, per scene. You could do like three scenes a day. That's how long a scene is. That's a lot of work. That's a lot of work. And then to do that five days a week. Nobody will. First of all, I don't know how many shoots they're doing, but yeah, I mean, so five hundred dollars.
00:19:50
Speaker
Let's say a day. A day. You're doing one say that's more than I'm making enough of my hourly rate. So, you know, it's still more money than I'm making. Yeah, I would do it. That's yeah, that's pretty that's pretty significant. Not bad. I tell you what, though, I'm still curious about these corporate jobs.
00:20:07
Speaker
I want to be on the marketing team. What are they doing? Like, is it is it just like a bunch of I.T. making sure the server doesn't crash? Like, what are you doing? Oh, yeah, no, 100, 100 percent. Like, they're definitely again, web devs like database guys that are making sure that you can find videos and stuff like that. Are you also like is somebody left to maintain the hardware? Yeah. Is is somebody watching these videos to make sure that these are legally allowed to be up? I believe now. Yes. Yeah.
00:20:36
Speaker
because they they used to have like a problem and got sued, I think, like five years ago where they took that. I thought that was Ashley Madison. What was that? Something like that. I think it was all tied in together, but basically like. Anything that could have been cleared as like revenge porn or, you know, like, yeah, interpret it like borderline legal age, like they wiped their website completely clean of that. And that's a good thing, obviously. Sure.
00:21:04
Speaker
But yeah, I think they have content moderators who have to go in and look. Oh, yeah. So that's a job. But that's why, you know, nobody's nobody's going to big corporate websites like that anymore and just doing their things and only fans because it's it's the content they want to do. Oh, yeah. And they can make a lot more money doing it. Yeah, it goes directly. But you know, like those those bigger websites, they're not public companies, so they can still. You know.
00:21:33
Speaker
They could be running out of somebody's garage right now. You think they're on LinkedIn? Do you think I could look up? Yeah, their CEO is probably on LinkedIn for sure. The other the other thing is to it's probably not called like Pornhub. Like it's probably a corporate holding. Yeah, it's a parent company that owns Pornhub. You're probably not working for like, no, no, no. You'll be able to say like, I'm working for like Pegasus International or some shit like that. And then it's just like the people who own Pornhub. But.
00:22:03
Speaker
Um. But yeah, I'm surprised they actually make a lot less than I thought. Like some of them are like the average salary, I'm kind of making more than them right now, to be honest. Yeah, that's tough. Oh, OK. It used to be called MindGeek. Canadian, by the way, but now I guess it's called Halo, a Y L O. OK.
00:22:32
Speaker
That's the parent company. So look out for that folks. Next time you see that on somebody's LinkedIn, now you know what they're really doing. It could, it could be us next. Yeah.
00:22:46
Speaker
careers. I'm looking them up right now. I'm going to the career page. Like you think Victor's going to be like, Oh darn today at work, I had to watch 40 videos to make sure it checked out. Dude, they have a content compliance analysis graveyard shift and it's, it's working out of Cyprus. Oh my God, dog at 2 AM. You could be watching videos. I mean like you could be doing it and just now getting paid for it. Isn't that great? Dude. All right. This sounds awful.
00:23:14
Speaker
Um, this opening will be on fixed shift basis midnight to 8 AM with no weekends off, but two consecutive days off. So it's a rotating. Yeah. Yeah. So you have a weekend. So you do like four on two off and it just, yeah, constantly. Yeah. That's what, uh, that's what Michelangelo's schedule is. So his days off are never consistent days on, but the, the, he always gets two in a row. So.
00:23:43
Speaker
OK, so you get days off. Are there any benefits, Victor? Yeah, what's the what's the 401k package look like? It's pretty exactly pretty competitive. Yeah, I would say they would match. They actually don't tell you the benefits. I don't like that.
00:23:59
Speaker
I don't like that either. A little shady. Yeah. What about the life insurance policy? What about accidental death and dying? Can you, can you get in there? There's nothing on here that tells me what their benefits are. Ooh. Ooh. Flex time. Okay. You get, you get health coverage, learning and development, fitness discounts and events. I can only imagine what the events are.
00:24:25
Speaker
You go. It starts saying it starts saying special appearances. Yeah. You go. He's going to the meet and greets. Yeah. No, he's he's he's extra. She's an extra. You know, editing and post-production is crazy. It's not the people performing, but it's it's like, you know, the mom or the dad or like the neighbor. He's the he's the other pizza delivery boy that's waiting in the car. Yeah. He's one honking the horn like, let's go.
00:24:53
Speaker
The one at the end that like walks in is like, like, what are you guys doing? It seems like a lot of this, you can't actually like work from home. It seems like you have to go to the office in Cyprus. Yeah, Cyprus. That's sick. They got one in Texas. I got one in Montreal. Oh, I think that for like the the nature of the work, you probably wouldn't want people working remotely. Yeah. Right. I don't know.
00:25:25
Speaker
I mean, if I if my job was a compliance analysis, I would rather watch the videos at home than in the office. But, you know, I. OK, like. That's all right. That is a different connotation to it, Mike.
00:25:42
Speaker
I mean, if I'm at a cubicle with 40 people and I have to make sure that these videos check out, I mean, I'd rather do it from home if you ask me. Honestly, I think if you are watching that much and like for a job, you get desensitized to it. It's not going to be the same. One hundred percent. Yeah. You'd be like, hey, Bob, come over here. The violates are our ethics policy. I bet you everybody who works in that office is the most religious people we'd ever meet.
00:26:13
Speaker
because they're so desensitized you know what i'm saying like it doesn't it doesn't faze them anymore they're probably not interested i wouldn't say religious that is i don't know if i would yeah i mean but maybe maybe very like asexual people yeah what if that was one of the job requirements like you have to be yeah that's discrimination right there yeah
00:26:38
Speaker
Sorry a great great tangent though. Yeah, so that kid that won the baseball card Yeah, let's go back to the 11 year old Victor That's good. Let's go back to that. No, isn't that where this conversation started? It definitely evolved from there. I just don't know how we got to where we are now Someone do a mind map of that understand we went from
00:27:05
Speaker
Paul Skeens, the 11-year-old that had the card to somehow free Thanksgiving turkey dinner at the strip club to working for a major adult industry. Yeah. Hey, listen, that's how he works. That's how it goes, man. That's the show. That's show business, baby. And then Victor wants to go back to the 11-year-old. I think that's kind of crazy. That's a joke. Yeah, joke's the way. All right. Thank you, Victor. Thank you so much. All right.
00:27:34
Speaker
With that, Mike, I think it's time for you to give this week's unsolicited life advice. I don't have a good one like you had one last week. I really don't. It's not going to be anything funny or anything alluding to, but I heard this the other day like passing in the store.
00:27:57
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, that kind of makes sense. I didn't think too much of it, but it kind of stuck with me. So it was, if one person is being an asshole to you during the day, then he's an asshole. But if everybody's being an asshole to you during the day, then you're the asshole. And I was like, you know what? That kind of makes sense. You ever get one rude person and you're like, oh, that's fucked up. But if everybody's rude to you, it's like, is it me?
00:28:26
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? Am I doing that? I think you should really take that advice to heart, especially when we're doing this podcast. Thank you. You know, me. Thank you. Me being the victim of this podcast. Yes. Yeah, there we go. There we go. There is also the same store that the guy bought something and then had a four dollar off coupon. So ask the person if they could return it to buy it again to get the four dollars off.
00:28:55
Speaker
see that's just smart money bro yeah you're not you you you gave that with the spin of like yo this rich people stuff but that's like penny pinching yeah but that's what that's what rich people do they save every they hold on to every penny well so so yeah poor people I mean yeah poor people don't do that
00:29:16
Speaker
I'm not saying poor people don't, but who's more likely to do it? So also, so he got the coupon right then and there and then was like, OK, let me do this so I could use the coupon or the coupon just like stuck in his app and he forgot to use it.
00:29:32
Speaker
Yes, I believe it was stuck in the app and could not use it. And the guy was like, oh, I have this coupon in the app. Can I use this on this purchase? And the guy was like, yeah, you could. He's like, but you already bought it. And he's like, I'm going to be straight up with you. I'd rather be honest. I want to return that and then buy it again so I can use $4 off. This was in Ridgefield. I was on location and I stopped in a store after the fact.
00:29:58
Speaker
And this guy was just like, yeah, he's like, I'm going to be real with you. I want to return it so I can buy it again to get my $4 off. And I was like, but you already bought it. So like, you know, you had the process to return, you're holding up the line just to get $4 off. But like, this is kind of a theme that I've noticed. Like when I'm in areas of like more affluence,
00:30:20
Speaker
People are more hostile and like cautious of their money compared to like other areas where it's like a mix and mixed income. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I mean, was he nice about it at the counter? Was he like, like, Oh, my bad. Like, do you mind doing this?
00:30:38
Speaker
Yeah, he wasn't right about it. He was like the guy at the store was like he was like shocked. He was like, really? And he was like, yeah, he was like, look, I'd rather just be upfront and honest now. Like I want to return this item to use my four dollars off. But like he also just could have like bought that like he already swiped the card and purchased it. He also just could have went and got another one and then used the four dollars off and just had to buy. But then that means maybe too much money. I think it's.
00:31:08
Speaker
Well, I can't I can't assume, but if you're doing that, right, like if you really wanted the
Spending Habits and Discounts
00:31:13
Speaker
deal, you're right. I feel like you would go and buy another one. But if if money's the concern and it sounds like it would be more of like a I don't have enough money to buy another one, I'm going to return it and get the discount. Yeah, you don't know his financial situation. Just because you're in Ridgefield, he could be broke. Yeah, I appear. I appear rich to people. I'm broke as fuck.
00:31:35
Speaker
That's just how it goes. Victor, Victor, I think you're secretly super wealthy. Oh, my God, I wish. I really wish. I'm secretly incredibly in debt, by the way. That's that's hold on. We saw your we saw your your tax return.
00:31:51
Speaker
We know what's going on for five dollars. That's all I'm getting back from the. No, you saw my tax. You saw my tax return. I put minus five thousand dollars in gambling. Oh, yeah. Your gambling wages lost. That was obviously a joke. But listen, is there anything is is the five dollar blackjack table done? The ten dollar blackjack table done. I went to the casino Friday night and it was only twenty five dollars. Oh, well, it's a Friday night, of course.
00:32:19
Speaker
But, like, I've been on a Tuesday. Yeah, because, Mike, consider when people are going. Tuesday, there's no one in there. Yeah, you got low dollar tables. Friday. But the lowest was still 15. What, on a Tuesday? Yeah, when did the five dollar table go? Brother inflation. Cosino's got to make their money, too, you know? Cosino's going to make their money regardless if it's a five dollar table or twenty five dollars.
00:32:45
Speaker
No, it's listen. You could go to the electric tables. You could play five dollars there. No, but that's what big casino wants you to do. Exactly. The algorithms written against you. Exactly. You know what? Like, if you want a five dollar table, host a poker game at home. Why are you going to a casino? Stop being broke at the casino, dude, because. Because nobody's going to walk around and ask me if I want free drinks. You know what I'm saying?
00:33:10
Speaker
Is there a table minimum for you to start getting free drinks at the casino? No, you just have to sit down. Yeah, exactly. You could sit down at a slot and like press the penny a thousand times. And if they come by and be like, Hey, can I get a rum and Coke? They'll give you that drink. Yeah. Okay. I guess that makes sense. Like just keep them there. Keep them happy. Exactly.
00:33:32
Speaker
And the overhead on they're losing what, like a dollar on that alcohol and soda, and then taking in $30 from you sitting at that slot. So.
00:33:43
Speaker
Yeah, and they're not even probably giving you a full shot. Oh, no giving you like a half a shot exactly giving you do bro, bro They're giving you bottom shelf. Oh, yeah, if you say rum and coke you're getting the worst possible again You're getting Admiral Nelson. You remember? No, no, you're you're getting God Burnett's Flavored bottle flavored Burnett's
00:34:05
Speaker
I'll never, I'll never forget the first time I saw a bottle of Admiral Nelson's. It was a direct ripoff of Captain Morgan, like entirely direct ripoff. Can we pull that up on the screen? I gotta, I gotta look. Yeah, you pull it up. A direct ripoff. And I was like, how are these people not sued?
00:34:22
Speaker
You know, kind of similar to your coupon story. I was in Kohl's the other day doing an Amazon return. I don't know if you guys have used them. I didn't realize you can just go to Kohl's to return Amazon packages. Yeah, and you could do that, but I've never done it. But they give you like a 15% off when you return it, or like a 10 or 20. They give you $10 off if you spend more than $25, right?
00:34:46
Speaker
So I was in there. I was like, Oh, I kind of need some socks. You know, I've been blowing holes through most of my payer. So I was like, yeah, I got to replace them. Picked up a pair of Nike socks that look cool. They're 28 bucks. I was like, cool. I'm over the $25 threshold. Go to the counter. The lady goes, sorry, no name brands like this, like Nike, Under Armour Adidas, like Levi's, like this isn't applicable on any of these brands. And I was like,
00:35:12
Speaker
All right, well, that's pretty stupid. That's how Kohl's ripped you off. Kohl's has so many exclusions. That's how they rip you off. Yeah, I was like, this is pretty dumb. And so I went, found a sweatshirt that was 25, which, all right, 24.99. Right. Get to the counter, put the sweatshirt up there. She goes, this is 24.99. I was like,
00:35:32
Speaker
Bro, are you are you for real? I was like, can I add like a candy bar? She goes, no, it has to be another item of clothing. I was like nothing. She's like nothing in this general vicinity that's worth a dollar. Like, you know, like the little like hygiene products, you know, like a lip balm, a hand sanitizer, tissues, whatever candy, none of it applied to the balance. I had to find another item of clothing that couldn't have been the Nike socks, by the way, because those were also excluded.
00:36:02
Speaker
just to get $10 off. And I was like, you know what, you could just put these, I was like, I don't want them anymore. Sorry, I'm going to show you that real quick.
00:36:12
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I mean, it's literally it is. Yeah, it's I know it's not a direct ripoff. His leg is an up on a on a barrel. I was going to say there's no there. It's a it's a direct ripoff. Coles does that, though, to go back to your thing. Coles has so many exclusions and like unless you're not unless you're buying their Sonoma brand or like the eyes odd or whatever, like you can't get good things. You can't get good things. Can I ask a question? What are you doing that you're blowing holes through socks?
00:36:39
Speaker
Yeah, isn't that your yearly Christmas? Like every year. I mean, I thought it was the socks and underwear. I thought that's what guys do this year. My parents bought me this room. So that's, you know, OK, fair enough. I didn't get anything else. But are you running around that room in your in your socks and then stopping on a dime and your toes are shooting out the top? Like, yeah, man, I'm cutting up the the room like I'm like a running back.
00:37:05
Speaker
Yeah, I'm juking my my coffee table I'm running up the stairs like like I'm getting away from the last defender trying to get in the end zone Are you practicing for the draft or yes? Yes, I am my 40 time is improving. It's still over six seconds, but
00:37:21
Speaker
I think with a couple more months of training, we'll get it down to the mid fives. But you think it's a lot of movement like I'm moving all the time at work and technically because of the ankle and foot injury, I have to wear a size up on my shoes.
00:37:38
Speaker
So my left foot I have to wear size 11s I think I'm really a 10.5, but my right foot doesn't fit into 10.5 because it's Bigger than my left foot Because you broke it and did nothing about it. Yeah Looping back to our yeah one of our episodes
00:37:56
Speaker
Yeah, so I have to wear size 11 shoes, which are too big and it causes too much friction, I think, because I'm sliding around in my shoes that it just rips holes. So it's kind of a no win situation. It's either I wear tight ass shoes and feel uncomfortable all day, or I buy a new pair of socks or a new pack of TJ Maxx socks for like $10 every six months.
00:38:18
Speaker
or you go commando on socks. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. That is disgusting. Why is there not even an option? No, bro. What's the matter with you? The dog smells so bad after a day of work, I cannot imagine doing that barefoot in my shoes. We all go high and mighty that we have to use socks.
00:38:40
Speaker
Are you down that bad that you're not? I mean, I think you're doing OK, bro. You know what I'm saying? I think you're doing all right. I think you're telling me you're telling me in 10 degrees in the snow, you're going to be like, fuck it, let's get it. Listen, man, I got to do what I got to do. But I'll tell you what. If I wore like like a pair of Uggs without socks. OK, yeah, sure. Brother. No, no, no. That would be a worst case scenario. You kidding me. It's too high. You're feeling a sweat.
00:39:08
Speaker
Why would you wear sock in there? It would just make it worse. No, it wouldn't. It would keep the sweat from getting to the shoe. Yeah. It would just stay in the sock and make the foot more moist. The foot, but not the shoe. You would be ruining the inside of the uggs. Your wet ass feet. Otherwise you're fucking up the ugg. Are you telling me that you wear uggs without socks?
00:39:34
Speaker
I did when I wore them around the house, yeah. Around the house? What are you doing wearing shoes in the house?
00:39:41
Speaker
No, Uggs, you know, you just got your little house slippers, you know what I mean? You used Uggs for house slippers? Okay, so when I went... Ugg sells house slippers, but... Yeah, but I don't think he's talking about that. I think he means the boots. You're wearing your regular Ugg boots in the house? When I went to Australia in 2015, I bought a pair of Ugg boots there and they were the short ones, not like the long ones that all the girls in high school wore and they like ruined and all that. So I wore the short ones, but...
00:40:10
Speaker
Yeah, guys aren't wearing those. I wasn't gonna wear those outside. I wore them around the house. Now people are, but people are wearing, they made them more like shoes now. People are wearing all the shoe ones. Mike, you know they sell slippers, right? Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't want the slipper. I wanted the boot. This is, this is... Imagine putting boots on in your own home. That's crazy.
00:40:32
Speaker
That's that is wild. Also, imagine the smell, Victor, of those. Yeah. Oh, my God. Fucking raw dog. Yeah. Those hugs. Listen, you want to raw dog your feet out of town, dude. I'm raw dog and feet in my own four corners over here. Listen, I was playing the bit until you came out with that little truth there. Yeah. One of one of you guys was joking. The other one doesn't seem to be. Oh, man.
State Merging Debate
00:40:57
Speaker
Are you guys are you guys shoes on in the house type of people or no? Yeah, dude.
00:41:03
Speaker
Like, well, I got a little slippers. Okay, slippers is I'm saying like how if you wear your outdoor shoes in someone's home is what I'm saying. Oh, never know.
00:41:12
Speaker
No, unless they tell me when I walk in, like, no, don't take your shoes off. Nobody else has their shoes off. Okay, whatever. If the floor is gross as hell, I'm keeping my shoes on. But like, if it's a regularly clean apartment, I'm taking my shoes off immediately. I will say this, and you know, I didn't say at the moment, but I feel like I'd say it now. Mike wore shoes on my couch when we recorded that episode a couple of weeks ago, and I almost- Did I? Yeah, you did.
00:41:35
Speaker
And I was like, no, because I'm a great host. And I was like, if you want to know, you should have told me. No, you should have told me. Mike, where's the etiquette? This man has a brand new room. You're walking in there with your with your so you got a muddy shoe. You got to tell me. I'm sorry. You got to tell me. Well, the whole now those shoes were brand new. That was like the first time I warmed to break them in. But that's not an excuse. Like you got to tell me. No, it's fine. Listen, I'm not actually mad because if I was that guy, I would have just told you to take your shoes off.
00:42:05
Speaker
Yes, true. You could have 100%. I think we should all keep a pair of slippers in our cars. Yeah, you know what? I think that that's a great idea. At the apartment, it was never used. I think maybe once or twice they got used. But I was kind of self-conscious about how dirty the floor would get because we wouldn't sweep it up that often. And I felt bad for people who are taking off their shoes and didn't have socks. It only happened once or twice in the two years that I lived there. But in the cabinet,
00:42:32
Speaker
Right by the door, I had like disposable slippers for people. If they came to the house once to wear those. We had them, but they only got used like once or twice because everyone usually came with socks or just like we didn't really care about like, again, people could just wear shoes in our apartment. It was like fucking whatever, but.
00:42:52
Speaker
I wanted to, when I worked at the hospital, I wanted to take a box of the medical booties, the small short shoe covers and just like, just have them in case like, you know, something like that happened. But, uh, no, disposable, not, not a bad idea. That's it. And anytime, anytime I go to a hotel, snag those little, those little cheapo slippers, put them in the little bin.
00:43:14
Speaker
Good to go. I use I use those recently. I had some from I don't know where but where was I where I was like, oh, God, these came in handy. Wasn't somewhere nasty. I can't remember where it was. It wasn't the red roof in. I left my sandals on the red roof in there. I don't remember where I was, but those come in handy. You left your sales on, but you said you took them off to shower, which was disgusting. Well, I'm just going to bring them off to shower. Yeah, I'm going to bring that point back up again.
00:43:38
Speaker
I had to watch the feet. I mean, wash them in the sandals like this is so fucking backwards, dude. What is going on? Where are you? OK, hours backwards. Is that what you're alluding to? Well, you know, if you're in a questionable location, you got to take a shower and then you keep the sandals on. You know, they're meant for water. I guess so. You know, you.
00:44:01
Speaker
That's it. We're just trying to teach you life lessons, Mike. That's really what this is all about. This, this podcast started as a way to get little mini, little mini intervention sessions with you. And we just kind of sneak them in as little topics, you know? Do I have a problem? No, you know, you have a lot of small problems, but not a big problem. And we're trying to adjust those small problems. That's right. Through our, our loving, um, you know, guidance. I thought RFK was going to do that. Yeah.
00:44:32
Speaker
Yeah, we'll see what happens. Yeah. Hey, I watched this video the other day and
00:44:39
Speaker
This guy, you know, he gets people out and he asked them for hot takes. And some guy was like, there's too many US states. We need to take out 10. And I was like, you know what? I should bring this up on the podcast. I was like, maybe we should come up with a list of 10 states that we could do without. Or he combined it like he's like, oh, you know, like the Dakotas make them one Dakota. Why do we need North and South? I was like, pretty good. I don't think we need Dakota at all. That's right. I think they should secede. Yeah.
00:45:07
Speaker
All right, so yeah, I agree with that exercise. Yeah, that that is true. We should. That sounds healthy. Oh, he took out 10 states. So are we are we all just picking like three or four or like are we conclusively agreeing with all the 10? We'll choose. I think we all just submit a couple and we try to get to 10. Yeah. Right off the bat. Ohio is gone. Done. Yeah. Fuck the Bengals. Fuck the Browns. Fuck the Cavs.
00:45:31
Speaker
to a
00:45:51
Speaker
I get that with that. I'm going to say Hawaii, but for reasons that they don't like tourists and they kind of want to be their own nation anyway, it's so far off the map anyway. Give them the independence. Yeah. OK, let them be their own thing. That's not they. I would love to keep Hawaii around. They seem like great people. Let them do their own. How about how about Nebraska?
00:46:13
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I mean, the country's BMI would collectively go down by like maybe maybe two or three if we got those fuckers out of here. I think I think our country's supply of corn would significantly go down. So we could go. I was also going to. Yeah, exactly. Because I was going to put up Idaho, too, and they got the potatoes all over there, so. So you you you sold on Nebraska.
00:46:38
Speaker
Yeah, I'm good with old. So that's what that's three. Oh, is that three? Okay. Yeah, that's three. I don't know. I don't know. I can make a case right? Oh, it's a cool shape. I like that. Montana kind of fits right in there. You know, I think this guy said this in the video and I didn't think about it, but I agree with him. He said combine Massachusetts and Rhode Island. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was going to I was going to bring this up. We take Rhode Island. They become part of Connecticut.
00:47:05
Speaker
Well, you know what so I thought of that too I'm actually glad you said that I thought of that because it could be One huge like Long Island sound like Connecticut sound which means that Connecticut will actually get technically an ocean because we're island gets the Atlantic Ocean We also get the Long Island we get Long Island too We take it away from York that little that little strip of land or whatever that's us now and
00:47:30
Speaker
I don't know about that. No, no, no, we're taking that for me. Austin, we're taking that for me. Here comes the New Yorker. Here he comes. Here comes the New Yorker. Tell us why. The Connecticut border now starts at Belmont. You still get to be a New Yorker. We take the rest of the island, which is not an island. It's a peninsula, by the way. We get the New York Islanders. Yeah. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. We'll build you a little bridge so you can get over here easier. We already have a ferry. We have a ferry and we're going to take the ferry. We're taking the rest of the island.
00:47:58
Speaker
No, you're getting the Rhode Island and you're gonna be happy with that. Here comes a New Yorker. Oh, you're taking it. You know what? You know what? You know, all I have to do is make one phone call to my to my girl T Swift. What is it? What is that? Are you kidding? We are the only people that she could rally.
00:48:15
Speaker
Yeah, but she said that her house was under threat and all of a sudden, you know, she's trying to it's trying to get taken over by Connecticut. And she's she has a house in Rhode Island. So technically be Connecticut at that point. So you're saying in Long Island for home and she has a home in Long Island as well.
00:48:30
Speaker
Maybe I'm confusing the two. I thought she had a home in Long Island, like in Montauk. No, I don't think so. No, Rhode Island. It's Watchfield. It's Westerly. Yeah. Oh, watch, shit. So she's already an nutmegger, so. Dang, that's, again, that sounds like a slur. I don't like that. I was like, damn, I kind of said that with some force. I don't like the way I said that.
00:48:50
Speaker
Um, another one we should combine. I have to believe that in the post. Yeah. No, keep it. Well, I know I'm keeping that in because if I say it, if I, if I bleep it out, people would think I say something. I said something worse. Yeah, that's true. No, you got to keep that. We'll keep that. I just thought it was two states that we should combine New Hampshire, Vermont. It's basically the same thing. I'm okay with combining states.
00:49:18
Speaker
Yeah, but I don't think we should combine two New England states. We still need to have a little collective here. We're already combining Connecticut and Rhode Island. We should we should be looking to combine other worthless states. I'm not. Hey, listen, I like I like the process here. That's that's smart. We call it New Vermont. We take we take a word from each. But I don't like losing too many New England states there. Now, I think
00:49:45
Speaker
Now hear me out on this. I think we should give Louisiana back to the French. What do you think about that? That's fine. Yeah. Yeah. As long as we can pick up Greenland. Yeah. I'm OK with that. Which we are. Now do we give. We're picking up Greenland. We're picking up Canada. Just wait on it guys. And Panama. Easy. Apparently. Are we giving Florida back to the Spaniards? Is it going back to the royal palace? Anything to get rid of. Anything to get rid of Florida.
00:50:11
Speaker
If anything, if anything, we should take a large jigsaw and cut it from the mainland and let it kind of just float out and drift out into the water there. Now, which by the way, I think is a practical solution. Yes, that could be done. Yeah. Now, one big jigsaw, one big jigsaw.
00:50:27
Speaker
the shape of Florida and the shape of Italy. Isn't it kind of similar? Can we just swap the two and just send Florida to Europe and then just put Italy on the bottom? I don't know if I want a bunch of more. I don't know if I want more Italians in this nation. I'll be honest. Oh, I don't think I want that. Oh, that's that's your part Italian. What's going on, which is why I can say that. So that's why I could say that.
00:50:52
Speaker
Hold on. But if we wanted to get practical about this, if you bring Italy and put it in a place of Florida, everything that's great about Italy would almost instantly be negated. Yeah. Take that back. It would go shit. It would go shit. OK, give it back to the Spaniards. I'm not worried about that. Also, I think a lot of Italians would be pretty hard Trump supporters. So I got to. Yeah, we're we're getting rid of one problem to add back the same problem. All right. I don't like that. So let's just keep Italy away. Yes. Yeah.
00:51:22
Speaker
What other? What are we like, how about Alabama? They could stay, they got football, that's cool. Yeah, good rep for the country. Yeah, I was thinking give New Mexico back to Mexico.
00:51:35
Speaker
I like that. I like that. What does that state have for us? Albuquerque? I always think it's something about New Mexico. What is it? Like, I'm sure people say that about Connecticut. Like, what is it? But like, what is New Mexico in the same scope? Like, what are they doing? What's going on over there? Hey, Connecticut. We got pizza. We got the second best buffalo wing in the nation.
00:51:55
Speaker
We got Yale, Yukon, a bunch of, you know, exactly. What's the second best? Is that Jay Timms? Yeah. Yeah. Jay Timms, I think, was rated the second best wing in the nation like a couple of years ago. And I think they've been riding that high for. Oh, we'll never let that go. Oh, yeah. I'm never letting that go. That wing is fucking great. It's delicious. Yeah. What is New Mexico? They have, what, the high school from high school musical? I would I would argue to recreate it somewhere else. Connecticut has some decent wine.
00:52:24
Speaker
Their wine trail is pretty good. I was going to say, there's a lot of wineries and breweries in Connecticut that you don't really see in other places. Um, yeah, that's, you know, we got a lot going on in the state. I'll tell you that. I think Oregon and Washington, I think they got to combine. No, no, there's two different things. It's the same thing. No, it's not. It's not. And you know, it there's other, all right. You know what? This isn't a different vein. It's not a state.
00:52:55
Speaker
But Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas have to figure it out. You can't both have bordering cities in these states called Kansas City. One of you guys.
00:53:08
Speaker
Only one of the states should be able to own Kansas City. And I think it should be Missouri, because it's funnier if Kansas City is in Missouri. I know somebody who I worked with at the hospital and then ironically went to a hospital in Pittsburgh. She's from Kansas City, Kansas. And she argues that Kansas is the majority of Kansas City.
00:53:31
Speaker
Hey, listen, I don't care. Have a football game, you know, let the have some way to decide a war. I don't care. Just only one of you guys can own can't imagine. Imagine if Connecticut had a New York City, Connecticut bordering New York City. How stupid is that? Only one state can own Kansas City. How did that happen? I know. That's what I'm saying. Who let this happen? Because it must have happened a while ago and somebody was butthurt. Yeah.
00:53:59
Speaker
Well, like, I guess it's the same thing for Niagara Falls. Like who is, who has ownership of Niagara Falls? That's different. That's different because it's, it's literally a border. That's just one name where both places have claim to it. We're talking about two cities that border each other that have the same exact name for like, for no reason. It's so stupid. I think because of that, both of them have to go. Yeah.
00:54:26
Speaker
At around the same time, settlement was beginning along the river's bottom of Wyandotte County, just across from the border state of Kansas. So from the 1850s on, there were two Kansas cities divided by Missouri-Kansas state line, and both grew from a consolidation of villages rather than from a single unit.
00:54:49
Speaker
So again, just two neighboring towns decide to call themselves Kansas city. I mean, it is very dumb for the Kansas city, Missouri to be like, Oh yeah, we're going to name ourselves Kansas city after our neighbors. It just seems a little sloppy. You know, why not Missouri city?
00:55:06
Speaker
I don't know. Easy. Almost, almost, almost too easy of a switch, apparently. Yeah. You know what? For that fact, since, since we're on eliminating states, eliminate Missouri. Fuck them. That's right. We don't need them. We don't need to figure this out anymore. Kansas city should go to Kansas because Missouri has St. Louis.
00:55:28
Speaker
so if
00:55:47
Speaker
No, they should really they should hold an Olympic style games where all their sports compete against each other and whoever gets the most medals Gets the gets a stay now. Hold on. You're on to something there maybe we're in a perpetual state where like Only 49 states can ever exist within the United States at any given time or 48 Okay, right. Yeah
00:56:12
Speaker
and every year, maybe not every year, that's a lot, but at some interval, every state has to fight for their place within the country. Oh, like a little regulation battle. Yes. Redistricting, you know? I like that. Right. Right. Now, I'm going to propose that we cut a state into two states. And? California.
00:56:35
Speaker
Negative. I would love to ship California off into the water. So that's just my opinion. But I think we need to cut. I wonder why. Yeah, I know. Right. MAGA mic is back. I think we need to cut the state of New York into two. Because that's not the state I thought you were going to say. Because either upstate is very different from New York City.
00:57:06
Speaker
I guess I could agree with you there. Have you been upstate? How far upstate have you been, Austin? All the way. All the way like what? North? Like every time, every time I wouldn't go up to Canada, drove all the way up through New York. OK, so you're talking Iran up Route 87 to get to like Saratoga Springs, Glen Falls, Plattsburgh, all that. Have you ever went, have you ever went west? Have you ever went
00:57:35
Speaker
Waterloo, the Finger Lakes, Syracuse, Rochester, Utica, Buffalo, and then all the way to Erie, Pennsylvania, been out that way? I've gone to Buffalo. Buffalo is just from my own experience.
00:57:52
Speaker
Like I don't want to say a wasteland, but like if you're not near Niagara Falls, it's like night and day, dude. It's like abandoned homes and stuff like that. And again, I could have been like I had a very like small view of that area, but totally different, totally different. So I think because my sister used to live in Rochester, New York, and it is a beautiful small city.
00:58:21
Speaker
But once you drive through the New York freeway, once you get past a certain point, like past Albany,
00:58:28
Speaker
It's all corn. There's nothing else. I think they'll be given in Nebraska. It's corn. So get rid of get rid of Nebraska. But we have to split New York into two because once you go past Albany down, it's all city. It's all bustling and this and that once you go up and west, it's all corn. It's all farm. It's very different than the perception of New York City, which is what everybody thinks.
00:58:53
Speaker
I think we need to split it into two because the representation is very different. You know, very different. You know, you're making a really good case for. Eliminating New York and giving NYC to New Jersey. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of in my life to someone. Let's go. But it makes the most sense, though. No, no, it doesn't. Yeah. Think about it. No, it doesn't.
00:59:20
Speaker
You want you want now you want now you want Jersey and New York City to smell like shit. I mean, they both already do. I mean, just just combine it into one step. Yeah. Although we call it New Jersey City. Whole thing on the subway the other day, I did see two little rats and they were fighting over like a little piece of paper. I was like, you know, this is like an industry right here. We could we could say dog fighting with her little rats. Yeah.
00:59:48
Speaker
but anyways I think keep keep New York City with the city populations of New Jersey and Eastern Pennsylvania and all that and leave leave all up I like that I was here I was here for the discussion but I don't like all this isolationist talk about New York going on right now
01:00:10
Speaker
like giving up the territories and merging with dog. You're not in cities like not even New Yorker, Doug. I don't know what you're talking about, Mike. You you've said that to us direct that people like I'm not a New Yorker. Yeah, no, I mean, I was that was in my reflection period. I'm in full neglect mode now.
01:00:34
Speaker
I lost kind of how many states we've tortured and whatever. I think we did too many, actually. Surprise. We're at 31 states. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, if we had Canada, that's I think there's six provinces. So we picked up a couple. Yeah. Yeah, that's going to be so what do we do picking up? What do we do with Guam? Like, what are we doing with that? Still territory, I guess.
01:01:02
Speaker
I had no clue where Guam, I didn't even know it was out in the Pacific Ocean until maybe a couple years ago. Not gonna lie to you guys right now, if you asked me to point out Guam on a map, I wouldn't be able to do it. Yeah. It's not that bad like Indonesia, no? Yeah. It's super small, dude. Yeah.
01:01:20
Speaker
You know, yeah, we could eliminate some of these states, give Puerto Rico statehood, give DC statehood. Do we give Alaska to Canada or do we give it back to Russia? No, we give it to Canada. No, we're taking Canada. Yeah, we're taking Canada. So now Alaska could be, now it's all contiguous United States. That's right. We can give Texas away. Who cares? But we'll pick up Canada. They've been wanting to be on their own for a while now. Yeah, exactly.
01:01:49
Speaker
No, Texas is to know we we need to keep that. I don't know. I'd be OK with giving away Nevada. What's in Nevada besides Vegas? Reno. And what's in besides the police department? A very, very small Las Vegas, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure you can gamble a lot on Reno. So with the exception of Vegas, what's in Nevada exactly is Area 51 in Nevada.
01:02:16
Speaker
I thought that was Arizona, but it could be Nevada. Okay. Well, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. The bunny ranch is in Nevada. So it stays the hell's the bunny. We're funny. Look it up. It's not playboy, but look it up. I was going to say it ain't. What's the bunny ranch? I'll tell you guys off pod. It's fine. Gotcha. Yeah. Because we talked about the adult entertainment industry on here.
Interview Possibilities
01:02:43
Speaker
It's a can, but you know,
01:02:46
Speaker
I literally talked about my favorite adult entertainment industry. Yeah, you even say her name though Yeah, but I moved on from that. That was when I was young, you know, it's her name Yeah, shout her out dude. What does she do? She could be listening. Yeah, we could have her guest on the pod Listen if we had a if we had a somebody from the industry would we really get them on the pod? I
01:03:10
Speaker
I don't see why not. I just don't think we would be able to have like an intelligent conversation. Not saying that they're I'm saying like, oh, no, no, no, no, hold on. I'm saying we wouldn't have good questions. How would we fight you right now? Like, how would we? I don't know. We could ask a lot of good questions. Maybe. You know, but let me tell you something. I feel like the last thing they want to talk about is about the industry. I feel like they want to talk more about their day to day life. You know, Mike.
01:03:35
Speaker
How the fuck do you know? I don't know. I just I just feel like, you know, like you ever ask. Have you ever asked? Like, I feel like people don't want to talk about their craft. People want to talk about other things. Like, am I going to go up to an astronaut and be like, so how's Jupiter? No, they're not going to. They're not going to want to talk about that. Well, I feel like I don't know. I feel like most people love bitching about work. Yeah. And people like talking about themselves. Yeah. So naturally those things go together.
01:04:05
Speaker
I don't know. And I feel like if you're talking to an astronomer, they're doing that stuff all day. Like they're going to want to continue to talk about that. Yeah. And that stuff's cool. I want to know about astronomy and stuff like that. Right. And if we show genuine interest in whoever we're talking to, they'll talk to us about it. Come on. So you're selling. Who is it that you want to invite on to? Yeah. Come on. Shut them out. We could tag them on the Instagram. Seriously. This actually isn't a big deal. I'm just genuinely curious who the crush was.
01:04:35
Speaker
Yeah. You know what? Name your top five. Yeah. If you got them. Yeah. Are we all going to name our top five? No, just you. No, no, no. Just you. We're interested.
01:04:46
Speaker
Yeah. Well, we could we could keep the audience guessing, you know. No, no, no, no, no. Name your top five. No, no, no. Top five. We're over all that tease and stuff. Yeah. Come
Episode Wrap-Up and Personal Tastes
01:04:55
Speaker
on. Name your top five. All right. This is how we're closing out the episode. No, we're not. Yes. Name your top five. We didn't do real of the week because I told you we didn't really have one. Yeah. Oh, who gets to pick the the closing? And how come the closing music you cut it out in the in the episode that you post? I don't want to get copyright struck, dude.
01:05:14
Speaker
I could have put like five seconds in there. Also, the audio is fucked up, to be honest. So, okay. Yeah. If you want, you can sing it. Yeah. Who's picking the exit music? You seem passionate enough. Yeah. No, you're deflecting to not tell us your top top three. We'll cut to top three. All right. We'll make it easier for you. Just name three people and then the episodes over and then we're done for the week.
01:05:41
Speaker
No. You make it bigger than it is. Dude, come on. This is this is that bullying thing you guys are talking about earlier. This is not bullying. We're genuinely curious. I think it's it says a lot about a person. What says a lot about a person? Your top three adult actresses. I think it's like, can we all if it's not a big deal, why can't we all comfortably share our top three? We're asking you to come for. Yeah, to share it. Yeah.
01:06:11
Speaker
And I'm asking you guys to do the same and you told me no. Because we're the driver's seat right now. We're asking you. But also we can go around. Yeah. Most of us can say we just we're starting with you. We just wanted to know. Start with me so you could cut the recording when I'm done. You think I'm stupid? Do you know Mike? Oh, dude, come on. We don't operate like that. Are you sure about that?
01:06:36
Speaker
We haven't so far. Yeah. What's our timestamp? What are we on here? Our alert. We're in just enough time for you to say who your top three are. Exactly. That's how we're going to close this one out.
01:06:48
Speaker
It's not. It's not. It's not. Why not? You're making it worse by by deflecting so much. Yeah. This is what I want our audience to listen to. You know, why we don't know who our audience is like the whole episode. Yeah, but not it's not the whole episode, but not the specifics. You know, listen, they just want to see what your taste is. I want to see what your taste is. You know what? I don't know. Again, like I said, it says a lot of. Yeah, I'll just accept one. Yeah.
01:07:17
Speaker
We're negotiating against ourselves here. I know we started at five. I do not feel comfortable releasing that information on podcast. Come on. You have to be more open minded, man. Yeah, you have to be more comfortable showing people who you really are.
01:07:33
Speaker
Oh, I really am. Wow. OK. Stop this. Come on. You never watch like. Say it like is it like Riley Reed? Is it Mia Khalifa? Like is it are those like or is it somebody more, you know, more recent? Yeah. Are we are we going for deep cuts here? Are we going people we haven't even heard of? You could be putting me on to some people. You know, you could be like a Ron Jeremy fan. You know, I wouldn't be opposed to that. You know, I don't even know who that is.
01:08:00
Speaker
Come on. Yeah. Come on. I really don't. All right. Well, just just say your top three. Yeah. We're back to three now. We're done negotiating. We gave you an opportunity to go one. Now we're back to three. No, it's not happening.
01:08:15
Speaker
What if I gave one, would you give three? If I give one, would you, we're negotiating. Look, this is a trade negotiation now. That's right. I am putting a tariff on the trade here. Uh, a 300% tax where if I give one, you give three, but.
01:08:31
Speaker
Come on. You both. If you both give one, I'll say who the no, no, no, no. It was Kendra Sunderland. I'm telling the audience it's Kendra Sunderland. I already knew this story. Mike, name three. Come on. Stop bullshitting us. It's not happening. Why? We already gave one. All right. I had to do it for you. Now we're getting now we're getting hostile, Mike. What is the deal? What? Well, just give me. Come on.
01:09:02
Speaker
What's the big deal? Do you not want people to know that you watch porn? Is that what it is? Yeah, you're trying to act so modest after you said you're eating Thanksgiving dinner at Mr. Happy's. Now you want to get modest. Yeah, exactly. I never said I was. I said I said you wanted to be. You said you would love to go. Yeah. So there you go. So now you're now you're going to be real prude about it. You're not going to give us your top three. I don't understand, Mike. You talk a big game, but then all of a sudden we ask you a simple question. Yeah.
01:09:31
Speaker
Can I report this for online bullying? No. There's no H.R. at this company. It's me. I'm H.R. I'm telling you right now, you have to tell us your top three. That could probably be on that note. Thank you, guys. No, no, we're not done. We're not done here. Not how this works, dude. I value my privacy. All right. And on that note,
01:10:02
Speaker
Are we doing? Are we doing sign off music? I got nothing. So, you know what, guys, we'll see you guys next
Social Media and Farewell
01:10:07
Speaker
week. Like, rate and subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you guys use. Apple Music, Spotify. I forget what other ones are out there, but, you know, follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Laundry in the Basement and on YouTube, Laundry in the Basement as well. So.
01:10:29
Speaker
Yeah, also go follow the Facebook page. We're gonna have that up by the end of the week. By the time this episode comes out, we will have a Facebook page. That's what I'm saying. So go follow that as well. Yeah, everyone be good. See you guys next week. Peace. See you guys later.