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Episode 135 - Saratoga Springs Waterboarding
20 Plays1 month ago
Stop lying to the camera...
Find us everywhere: https://pods.to/znvp75e
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Transcript
Introduction & Episode Number Challenges
00:00:22
Speaker
Alright, what's up guys? Welcome back to Laundry in the Basement, episode 137. Wow, huh? That's right, 137. We've kind of been neglecting to do the numbers the past few weeks, mainly because we've recorded four episodes in like two days.
00:00:39
Speaker
So, they all kind of just jumble and mix in with each other. yeah.
Sunny Weather & Walking Motivation
00:00:45
Speaker
but yeah we're back let me tell you the uh the time has changed so the sun is out brighter and it's great you know austin went on a little walk today which is beautiful i think guys you know we said this on a couple episodes before you know that we got to start to start doing our walking now the sun's out there's no excuse for it you know we're a little we gotta we gotta log off we gotta get a couple of miles and how many miles you do austin
00:01:13
Speaker
This is such a motivational speech. I didn't do much. i i only did like 30 minutes. But normally I would get like two hours in. Yeah, you did a lot more than I Two hours? Yeah, I walked like six and a half miles.
00:01:26
Speaker
Jesus. Yeah, i don't know why I do that myself. because it's Because it's good for you. That's why. Yeah, it just takes too
Orange Theory Workout Experience
00:01:34
Speaker
long. You know, I went to an orange theory class the other day, way more efficient.
00:01:40
Speaker
Super efficient. there for like an hour. I burned like a thousand calories. But they told me when they were when they when i when I finished, right, because we were the, the the it was the first time doing an orange theory class. And so they walk you through, they do an intro, right?
00:01:56
Speaker
And then after the class, they ask you to stay back so that you can, like, they'll walk you through your numbers and everything like that. And in orange theory, for the people that aren't familiar, they put all your shit up on the screen.
00:02:07
Speaker
So they put your heart rate, they put the calories that you burned, they put, and and they have zones, right? Like of, you know, ideally you need to be in the orange or red zone, meaning that your, your, your heart is,
00:02:18
Speaker
at a certain like percentage of its max capacity. like If your heart rate's running at 150, 170 throughout the entire class, you're in the red zone, right? And so we got to the end of the class and she's like, who wants to go first?
00:02:32
Speaker
And I knew none of the other ones would wanna go, so I was like, okay, I'll go first. And she pulls up my numbers and she was like, Jesus, your heart was in the red zone for, it was an hour class, she said, for over 40 minutes.
00:02:45
Speaker
gene said she said But that's good though, right? That have killed you? No, it's good, right Because they're like, that's what you want. you want it That's how you're going to burn calories. That's how you're going to keep the fat off for the next couple of days.
00:02:58
Speaker
and But she's like, but it's very clear that your heart is not like, this is not your sweet spot. You've got to figure this out. Oh, she's saying you're out of shape. A hundred percent. hundred percent. She's like, you do you lift weights? And i was like, yeah, like I have like a thing that I lift weights. She's like, how often do you do cardio?
00:03:14
Speaker
was like, almost like high intensity cardio. Almost never. She's like, I can tell like your body was not ready for this. Oh man. If you're getting that, I think I'm just going to have to skip orange theory altogether.
00:03:27
Speaker
I think i don't even know someone like you or if someone like you is getting that kind of feedback, I am scared to see what mine would be. he said They said it like it was a good thing and they're like, you know, you absolutely need
Competitiveness & Humorous Fitness Alternatives
00:03:39
Speaker
to do that.
00:03:39
Speaker
And also, the only reason that I was like that was because I had other people there that I knew and they posted my numbers up on the screen and I'm like, I'm not going to be a little bitch. I'm going to... You got competitive. You're a competitive ass. you want to yeah That's what happened. That's fair. i I could see that. I think I would also try and get competitive and then I'd have a heart attack halfway through and then drop dead. i ah Dude, I almost passed out.
00:04:03
Speaker
I really did. There was a point where we were like lifting weights and I looked over at B and I saw the like the little like the little tunnel vision going in and then I heard the instructor the like, don't take a break, Austin. Keep going. was like...
00:04:16
Speaker
oh ah i sitting there he's like
00:04:22
Speaker
what is can you explain to me what that is because i've never heard of this until now what is orange yes yes Yeah. So the name comes from those zones that I was talking about before, because it would need to be at least in the orange zone in order to like be really like your heart's really going, you're burning calories, everything like that.
00:04:39
Speaker
But what they do is they have you cycle through, at least for us, between the treadmill, the rowing machine and weights. And so they had you on timers and they told you like they they would tell you when to go up in speed, when to go down in speed.
00:04:54
Speaker
when to shift, what workouts to do, all that stuff. And it was all like continuously moving with the rest of the people in the class. And so you there's never ah like a down moment. um So it it was hard, but you you can totally go at your own pace. If you feel like you need to stop, you got to stop, you know, but it wasn't like a like a little military camp.
00:05:17
Speaker
Rowing. What'd you say? Rowing weights. Water and everything. Oh, that's sick.
Cost & Alternatives to Workout Classes
00:05:23
Speaker
Yeah. I would pass the fuck out of the first time. You know what? i was i was genuinely concerned that I was going to pass out.
00:05:32
Speaker
Is it like a sweat lodge in there? Is it like there's the room? Like, do they crank up the heat in there? The humidity in there? Oh, yeah. It smells like smells like straight B.O. But they they and like they sanitize down after every single like cycle.
00:05:48
Speaker
um So you it wasn't by the time we were out of there, like 10 minutes afterward, it was was clean. So I would go back. They're come here two times a week.
00:05:59
Speaker
You know, those 30 pounds that you need to lose, whatever, they'll be gone in in a couple of months. And then they're like, $200 a month, please. Yeah, I mean, that's yeah that's the biggest catch is that it's yeah pretty expensive.
00:06:11
Speaker
Hey, for $600, you can lose that weight. Yeah.
Wine Pairing Book Debate
00:06:16
Speaker
Honestly, if somebody told me like, hey, dude, you come in today. It's going real uncomfortable today, but you're going to lose 30 pounds and I need to charge you $1,000 to do it. I'd be like, take it.
00:06:27
Speaker
You know, you can just buy like meth, right? But that's a commitment. And then, you know, because its because orange theory is not it's the same thing. Orange theory is a commitment. he said me You can just do it on your own time.
00:06:38
Speaker
Exactly. At least orange theory has long term positive benefits. met Meth has to you lose the weight. You lose a couple of teeth. Yeah, you lose the weight, your teeth, and then five years later, you you you lose your life.
00:06:52
Speaker
So what did I do the work for? There's long-term benefits. So what if it may not be all positive? There's long-term. Listen, you know what's the long-term positive benefits? You go to jail and you just work out there for free.
00:07:03
Speaker
What's the big deal? That's not $200 a month. That's on the state pet taxpayer dollar. You're good, buddy. You want to hear something sad? And again, i don't really know prison, obviously, but like... You don't?
00:07:14
Speaker
No, I don't. Oh, okay. But like, you know, when they say like, oh, we get an hour of yard time or whatever, like out outside or whatever, i think that's more than what I get right now.
00:07:25
Speaker
I think that I think I don't even i don't I have to get outside more like I'm telling you the weather is warmer. Yeah, you weren't outside for the winter, but yeah, now it's warmer.
00:07:38
Speaker
and I got to get some sun. I've been I've been getting my vitamin D via like tablets, not even like the real sun. We've talked about this like 10 episodes ago that like, i know we're supposed to watch guys.
00:07:53
Speaker
The sun is out. Seasonal depression is over. The regular depression stays, but the season is gone. So we need to get out there, you know, when we're done with work and do a little mile or two. Anything is better than nothing.
00:08:05
Speaker
You live in a good neighborhood, Vic, where all those streets are just connected to ones. You could bop back. I could just be doing laps. Yeah. yeah Hills too. I do have hills.
00:08:16
Speaker
Get that heart rate up. Push yourself. I usually do the same the same route every time gets me at least two miles, sometimes maybe more. You know, Austin got his little route. You know, we got to start doing guys. Seasonal of depression's over. The sun's out.
00:08:29
Speaker
The regular depression stays. That's not going to change. But we could we could do some good damage this year, guys. We could really do some good damage. I have to. i need to be I need to be in the best shape of my life in in just over a year just so I can lose it all again.
00:08:44
Speaker
you know Just get in the best shape of my life and then immediately put all the weight back on. yeah that that's why We stop fuck you said that two episodes ago. that we need to get in the best shape of you I need to get in the best shape of my life for your bachelor party.
00:08:56
Speaker
Not even your wedding. Maybe the way, I guess maybe, but like the bachelor party, probably more so. Yeah. Speaking. Yeah. No, I mean, that's killer. That's killer. But speaking of best shape of your life, I want to go back to, I want to go back a little bit to when I ate four filet of fishes that one night ah we were hanging out.
00:09:15
Speaker
And last Friday.
00:09:19
Speaker
yeah elizabeth're gonna brag about it but So I bought this book and I think you, I think you both would like, What are you looking at me like that, Austin? I read. it was What a transition. Did you buy a book about Filet-O-Fish?
00:09:31
Speaker
Okay, well, let me... yeah you can't really call that reading. Let get there. Listen, guys, I read. You ever read that? What's that good one that we used to read? The Cat in the Hat? That's a good one. you guys read that? Hey, listen, if you're going to be wearing those glasses around the house, you better read. Yeah.
00:09:48
Speaker
I was at Barnes and Nobles and I got this book and I saw it there before and I never got it. And then I went again. I saw it there and I needed it. It's called Big Macs and Burgundy.
00:10:00
Speaker
Okay. And what it is, it's this writer from the New York times and always from the New York times, by the way, is it? Yeah.
00:10:10
Speaker
that's your That's just a massive scam, by the way. The New York Times bestseller list. on um Not every book can be on the bestsellers list. No. Sorry. It is a yes. I think that's a massive scam. And we got to talk about that. But this is um a writer from New York Magazine who very much does like the food column.
00:10:32
Speaker
And basically the whole premise of this is that any food that you can think of. has a wine pair to go with it. So I'm scrolling through this book. That's not reading. That's not reading, Mike. It's reading and it comes. There's words. There's words. There's words. You're looking up what you're eating for dinner and then you're like oh, can I have wine with this?
00:10:53
Speaker
Oh, the answer's yes. Awesome. Looks like I can drink today. I was like, get the fuck out of here. This is such a bit. This is not real, right? like This is something that you bring up for when people come over. Yeah.
00:11:07
Speaker
And you're like, this is a coffee table book. Like, this is not reading. No, it's not. Page 71. Filet of fish. Right here. Psychotic. Tell me what wine that goes with.
00:11:18
Speaker
Yeah, look at that. Filet fish. Page 71. Goes well with an Austrian Blauken fish. Bro, they are they are lying to you. Blauken fish. It's a Pinot Noir.
00:11:33
Speaker
that is That is an entirely AI-generated book. It's so Listen, anything anything you want. they got You want to have some wine with a PB&J? No, I don't want to have wine with a PB&J.
00:11:47
Speaker
The fuck's going on? You want to have wine with Oreos? I'll tell you which wine the best one to have with Oreos. No. All of these sound disgusting. Did you genuinely pick up this book and go, oh, you know, I have wanted to try wine with Oreos.
00:12:02
Speaker
Listen, Popeye's spicy chicken sandwich right now. You want to know what goes well with Popeye's spicy chicken sandwich? you The lemonade that they sell. Ooh, yeah. What what is it that? Was that legs? I can't. yeah What the fuck was that?
00:12:16
Speaker
There was legs. The quality is just like a bunch of like pixels that I'm seeing. on Yeah. arby's roast beef sandwich i mean come on i mean that we could keep okay just stop stop going through the book how much did you pay for this yeah this there's literally chapter seven is trader joe's a love story this is all the things you could get at trader you spent so much and you spent so much time shitting on trader joe's last episode i just put out a reel about that i still i still stand by it but what i'm saying is is if you're a trader joe junkie you can find out what wine goes well with your stuff also i'm sorry like
00:12:49
Speaker
who Who is genuinely going to be having wine with Popeyes? Yeah. You're going do that once. You're going to that once. And then you're going to have toilet for the rest of the night.
00:13:00
Speaker
You know who could be? We could be. Okay. That could be us. Absolutely not. I got Popeyes last night with the lemonade. And you know how satisfied I was? Incredibly satisfied.
00:13:10
Speaker
you think that changes with wine? Right. Listen, you you know, no, no, no. You you know how much worse that would get for me? You know how much how more depressed I would feel if I was pouring myself a fucking glass of wine to eat a two piece with a biscuit on the side and a glass of wine after your mile walk.
00:13:30
Speaker
Yeah. my yeah Also, you want to know what goes well with this $3 sandwich from a fast food restaurant? This $50 bottle of wine. Yeah. You said Austrian, some other bullshit Pinot Noir.
00:13:42
Speaker
You're not finding that shit. Fucking kidding. Look, look, look, look. It's more than just fast food. What I'm saying is is if if you're looking to see if something pairs well with a certain wine, you could find out.
00:13:54
Speaker
This is what this book tells you. I think it's interesting. Lucky Charms. Lucky Charms. You want to have wines with Lucky Charms? I don't want to have wine with Lucky Charms. Absolutely not. Instead of the milk, you just pour the ah the Riesling in it, you know?
00:14:08
Speaker
this is This is egregious. What what about a meatloaf TV dinner? What about a grilled cheese? It's not important. it' No, no, it is important. It is important because you're about to tell me something like $25 for this dumbass book.
00:14:23
Speaker
That's exactly the price. Show me the back of that book right now. I'll show you right now. twenty four ninety nine $24.99. You spent $24.99 on this? It's a great purchase. I'm not going to lie. I can't read it at all, but that's disgusting. No, it's not a great purchase.
00:14:36
Speaker
It was a great purchase. Guys, it's a great purchase. Mike, how many of those things are you actually going to try? well i'm gonna Well, first of all, there's a lot of wines. I can't just keep buying a bottle of wines like that.
00:14:50
Speaker
But I'll give it a shot, you know? No, we won't. Cheez-Its. No, you You want to have wine with Cheez-Its? You got it. if i If I'm at the winery, sure. You know what that is? You put that on the back of your toilet. Somebody reads it while they're taking shit, and that's it.
00:15:06
Speaker
Yeah. That is not a book that... And again, it's not reading. No, it's not. It's literally not reading. Not reading. It's reading. It's reading. Doritos Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
00:15:17
Speaker
You really did preface this, like a lead into this book of like, boys, I read. Yeah, guys, I read. I've been reading lately. you know i stand I stand by. I've been doing a little reading. Trying trying to do you know some self-improvement. Right.
00:15:29
Speaker
Yeah. boys we gotta how can i walking Also, Popeyes with wine. How can my diet be healthier? Oh, bacon, egg and cheese and a Santorini Esquito. Yeah, no problem.
00:15:40
Speaker
You know, come on. I bet you all those wines aren't even real. they're just yeah They're putting words together. They're doing mad libs, filling in the country, wine name, right flavor, and all other dumb shit.
00:15:59
Speaker
Maybe if you read the book, you can read up on it. That's not reading. That's reading. That is so reading. It's as reading as it can get. Where did you mean where did he buy this? TJ Maxx?
00:16:10
Speaker
Barnes & Noble's. The best place. Oh, anything now, man. Yeah. Well, I mean, they are a bookstore. Sad. you know you offline with You want wine with oysters?
00:16:21
Speaker
Done. that That is honestly the probably the most reasonable thing you've said out of all of the foods that you've named in the past five minutes. Wine and oysters, probably the most reasonable.
00:16:33
Speaker
Are you guys oyster guys? You like that? Yes, I love oysters. Yeah? How about you, Mike? Can't do it. So it's just something about raw oysters.
00:16:45
Speaker
I don't know. I mean, I've done them. They're okay. But like um I know somebody who I think it was like their uncle or their father who had a bad one and then got like paralyzed because there's an enzyme in the oyster. Jesus. Yeah, I swear that if you eat like a bad one that like you could it could hurt you.
00:17:04
Speaker
So I don't dabble in the raw oyster. Raw clam all day. who who does Where where did he get this this oyster from, though? That I do not know. Like if he shucked it himself or whatever, like they they found these like, you know, if they fished it or whatever, like, yeah. but But if it's from like a restaurant, I feel like it's probably safe, right? like I can't do it. It feels like I'm tasting like it like I'm drinking seawater.
00:17:31
Speaker
Not only is the texture weird, but it feels like I'm drinking seawater. You know what i mean? Like it's just odd. got to do the lemon. You got to do a little Tabasco. can't do that it it also doesn't taste like they cleaned it at all it feels like they just took it right out of the ocean and plopped it on my plate
Oversharing Personal Lives Online
00:17:49
Speaker
that's because they did they really did that's it that's why that's that's really what it is i don't know i mean i'm i'm down for a good like raw bar tower but the oysters nah i could pass on that Although I got to say the concept of the raw bar tower and they got the people there shucking the oysters and everything like that. And they got the the the little mirror so you can see them doing and everything like that.
00:18:12
Speaker
Which, by the way, sounds like a dope Sounds stressful. was going to say it sounds pretty stressful. Just stand there the entire time shucking oysters. Although like the chances of me splitting my hand open. Oh, that's a skill. Dude, you twist that knife a wrong way. You're you're wrecking yourself.
00:18:29
Speaker
Yeah. No, I can't do that. Those shucking knives? Yeah. Sharp as hell. Well, you know, we could find out what wine pairs well with that if you guys ever want to do one. You know what? I'd rather know what wine pairs with oysters than with... that think That's what I said. It's literally the only thing.
00:18:50
Speaker
Yeah. You guys are an adventurist. Why don't you take a little ride on the wild side? That is not adventurous. Eating oysters is adventurous.
00:19:00
Speaker
Eating a PB&J with a glass of wine is not adventurous. That's sad. It's punishment. It's self-torture. Vic, you're also the same guy that just that just like scolded Asif for drinking a coffee at 7.25 p.m. I didn't scold him. I asked him if he was having one.
00:19:17
Speaker
Yeah, and you said it's so late. think it's insane a little bit, but that's, you know. People handle caffeine differently. If I were to do that, I'd probably be up to like 3 a.m. m But he's not me. So that's it. That's that's that's I'm built different.
00:19:31
Speaker
you hit You can't have coffee right before bed. No. No, if I have any caffeine of any sore, I'll be up for four hours. I got to tell you, I mean, like coffee, sitting down with people late at night, drinking coffee, maybe a little maybe a little cookie, you know,
00:19:50
Speaker
It's like primo. I don't think it gets much better than that. You know, you want me in a relaxed state? Give me a cup of coffee with a cookie. I wholeheartedly agree with you.
00:20:00
Speaker
But Jesus Christ, that sounds old. That sounds like an old man thing. i agree. Like, it is nice. Like, i I would love to do that. But yeah, oh my I'm an old man. You sound 50. Yeah. Listen, i i I have no problem hanging out with my aunts and uncles late at night.
00:20:18
Speaker
Just, you know, shooting the shit, talking about whatever pain I got in my back, s sipping my coffee, eating my cookie. The state of the economy. You know what I'm saying? don't like talking about that nowadays. but Hey, listen, I'm waiting.
00:20:33
Speaker
I'm ready and waiting right now for the next war plans to hit my phone so that I can make my investment. You know what I mean? I can't believe. i can't believe. i don't know if you saw any of the hearing today.
00:20:46
Speaker
i did a little. Yeah. But but I wasn't. ah Tulsi Gabbard was like, listen, there was nothing credible or like anything classified in those texts. And the senator immediately was like, right, so let us know. Like, tell us what we're in. And she was like, no.
00:21:00
Speaker
Nah. No, thank you. Also, I just, i love, like, i love the fact that all of... modern history is recorded like the major things like people do interviews uh from you know 10 or 15 20 years ago and then they cycle back like they already have from from pete hegseth coming back up talking about other leaks that have happened and how it's like if this happened to to you know somebody in the intelligence community today they should absolutely be fired you gotta to get a yeah like don't don't quote me it's not a direct quote but there are interviews out there where he does stuff like that and now he's coming in and he's like nah never happened
00:21:36
Speaker
Yeah, they like they CNN ran like I didn't get to see it, but I saw that they did it. But they ran like a like a compilation of everyone who's in like the national intelligence or like defense like sector basically being like, yeah, what Hillary did was wrong.
00:21:52
Speaker
and She should be thrown in prison. And then it's like, yeah, Pete's all right. He's a good guy. There was nothing classified in those text messages. It's all good. Don't worry about it. Got it.
00:22:03
Speaker
Yeah. Everybody makes mistakes. Yeah. Objectively pretty funny, though, just to be in a group chat by accident and get a text from from a guy being like, hey, guys, we're to bomb this country tomorrow. and Just be like, oh, shit. and He said that he thought that the journalist thought that it was a joke until literally two days later when they reported the bombing.
00:22:25
Speaker
Yeah. And then he's like, oh, fuck. Those are real. Those are real. Yeah. Screenshot, screenshot, screenshot. Just crazy, man.
00:22:37
Speaker
ah Fun times. Kind of love it. But you know, circling back to your point about like, oh yeah, there's like so much media on us, like online and stuff like that.
00:22:48
Speaker
I saw this reel the other day. ah This isn't going real week. I have something different for real the week later, which I think is hilarious. But I saw this reel the other day that like, it makes me like, and again, it sounds hypocritical. Cause I do this.
00:23:03
Speaker
Like we do this, we do a podcast where we talk about our lives ah and like try and make jokes or whatever. But I saw a real where this kid like had just lost his father.
00:23:16
Speaker
And the real starts with like him getting the details of what happened from the nurse. Like his dad, like had a heart attack and died. And the real starts with the nurse explaining like what happened and like,
00:23:28
Speaker
Like, oh, yeah, like basically like. Like it starts with him being being like, oh, yeah, go ahead. And then she goes, yeah, like your father had like, you know. Wait, meaning that like he like just was like, OK, I need to tell you what happened. He's like, wait, hold on.
00:23:40
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. That's what it made it feel like where he's like, yeah, go ahead. But like even to just even if it wasn't staged in that way, just to have your camera like out like it didn't show the nurse. It was like by his side or whatever, like from his pocket.
00:23:52
Speaker
But it recorded everything that she said about like. yeah, like we received a call from your your mom at like x and like X time and like we got to your house and by then like your father had already like was on the floor like we need to compressions or whatever like he had like a heart attack and he didn't make it.
00:24:09
Speaker
And so like an incredibly sad moment but I feel like i don't know putting that specifically into your content to get clicks and views is a little bit weird.
00:24:23
Speaker
Yeah, but people do that all the time. i know, but that it just it just seeing that made me feel so like uncomfortable. It's like, you know, we we just put too much of ourselves online. And there are worse things. There are worse things about like like what there are worse things that people put online about themselves. like I think we know a little bit too much about each other sometimes.
00:24:44
Speaker
But that just like was an incredibly sad moment. And ah don't know. I wouldn't think to like... pull out my phone and it ended up being like the message at the end was like hey like my dad was the breadwinner like i don't make money off of content or like or that much money off content so like if you can help in any way or whatever like it was like ended up being like a gofundme thing or whatever which like but whatever but that's the thing though like is as wholehearted as that message is if that was the intention of the video
00:25:16
Speaker
That means that that person probably thought of that right then and there. Yeah. When they started getting the news. Yeah. Right. Like first, first thought was like, yeah, if he had explained like, oh yeah, like my father passed and like, he even like cutting a clip of like his mom, like crying, not on the camera, but like him hugging his mom while she was like sobbing. And he's like also crying a little bit.
00:25:38
Speaker
It's like, that just feels weird too. Like, like if he had just like explained his dad's story, cause he ends up like explaining his dad's story and how he came to America because they were immigrants and like, you know, explaining like what his dad meant to him and how his dad like carried the family and whatnot.
00:25:54
Speaker
And it's like, if you kind of just did that and then also was like, you know, like there's a GoFundMe to help with expenses if you were like, you know, generous enough to help out or whatever. i feel like that would be like fine, but like cutting in clips of like talking to the nurse and like him and his mom like sharing a moment like crying over the death of his dad i get that it adds shock value and it probably um again i'm talking about the video it's stuck in my mind like it it worked well he did work but it still just feels a little bit off you know what i mean yeah i mean he he
00:26:30
Speaker
It feels, i hate to say that it doesn't feel genuine, right? Because I'm sure that he probably had. And that, again, haven't seen the video, but I've seen videos like that. Where it's just like you you're like, why is that the first thing that you go to when when that happens? It's just like when people get like hurt out in public or something like that and somebody pulls out their phone to like immediately go to record. It's like, why is that your first instinct?
00:26:57
Speaker
Yeah. Right? So I always have a problem with that, but people... react in their own ways, I guess. Like those things used to just kind of be private, but yeah.
00:27:09
Speaker
Yeah. So catch me in five years when I start milking my dad's death for views. um You know, it's Christ Vic. don't even know how to respond to that. I think that's the end of the episode, right? i mean I think we're just like, thank you guys so much for listening. No, no, we still have a lot to get to, man.
00:27:30
Speaker
I didn't think were going to talk about that. You know, I didn't think that was one of them. It's a joke. It's clearly a joke. We'll see, though. if you know, if it works, it works. Jesus Christ.
00:27:41
Speaker
You know what? Like, I'm going to clip that and send it to your mom. Right. And see what she's. Oh, no. they My dad listens. He'll hear that. So he listened to the pod.
00:27:54
Speaker
no Did he hear that did he hear ah our latest one of Would You Rathers? I'm sure he had a very good opinion on those questions. The only one that's embarrassed about those is you, Mike. Yeah.
00:28:07
Speaker
Those were some weird questions. Those were some weird questions.
00:28:13
Speaker
Oh, they get worse tonight, buddy. Trust me. I've been i have been in the lab creating these questions for you guys tonight. Mike would rather the would you rather be like, would you rather have a Riesling with your Oreos?
00:28:27
Speaker
Yeah. You know what? Because I could do my research on which one work best. You know what, Mike? I get it. But that doesn't that doesn't generate clicks. That's right. We got to think business strategy here, Mike.
00:28:41
Speaker
That isn't something that can possibly get you fired. Right. It's not like we're starting an OnlyFans yet. Yeah, not yet. Not yet. but if they know ah You know what I saw?
00:28:53
Speaker
i think Feet Finder added a section for guys. me Hold on. Like was the section from the beginning. No, it was just for women. That's a little fucked up though.
00:29:04
Speaker
Well, how are we supposed to make for women? Well, Mike, who do you think is buying the photos? Let's be honest. understand. But why is it not an opportunity for us to make some money? and Thank how you. can You can start selling feet pics, Mike.
00:29:19
Speaker
Mike, you're in tune with the with the feet market. Are hairy feet a thing? like Is that a is that a fetish? Or is it just like... yeah Is that just like a you thing? Right. Is that just a you thing?
00:29:31
Speaker
and't I don't have the answer to that question. I want to know. So it sounds like just a you thing. yeah All right. We got it. and We got the answer that we needed. you don't have to say anything.
00:29:44
Speaker
i don't i don't like I don't like our business strategy. i don't like our business strategy. i love the moment where Mike is processing because you can see like his mouth like,
00:29:57
Speaker
yeah all the all the binaries just going through the brain just like zeros and ones just yeah yeah he doesn't know what to say his eyes are going like back and forth it's just the i savor that moment oh man i don't love it all right well before we get into the would you rathers for the week i want to bring back real the week all right okay but it seems like you guys have already seen it i again i think it's inescapable how viral this went like immediately yeah It's necessary
Critique of Influencer Content
00:30:26
Speaker
to talk about. It's infuriating, really. Yeah.
00:30:28
Speaker
So we're gonna be talking about ah influencer Ashton Hall in his morning routine. All right. Let's see, it baby. I will play the video for you guys. All right. So that wasn't even the viral video. That just seems like an offshoot that he had done.
00:30:51
Speaker
I guess yesterday got a million likes. That's crazy. But. Essentially, it's the same. It's the same thing. a that Like, it's different, but it's the same. and don't the I don't get the minute-by-minute account.
00:31:04
Speaker
You know what i mean? Like, did you see at the one point where was they were peeling the banana and they, they like, upped the timer for, like, every peel that they did? What is that? I saw another one, too, where where he was jumping into the pool and it said, like, 6.38 he was jumping and then, like, 6.40 he landed in the pool. Like, what I doing?
00:31:22
Speaker
Yeah. Right. like I feel like we're we're in the era of of content where people are designing content specifically to upset people.
00:31:35
Speaker
You know what i mean? Or like doing things that are that are intentionally weird or wrong to get people to be like, yo, that's. That's so weird. I hate this. hate this video.
00:31:46
Speaker
Like, getting up at 4 a.m. to do a bunch of reading and... Like, I don't know. You could just do that throughout the day. it it's It's fine. I don't know what this guy does for a job, but clearly, like...
00:31:59
Speaker
Clearly there's no nine to five. Yeah. Can't be. Also, you're getting up at three 30 in the morning. What time you going to bed? You have to be going to bed at like seven.
00:32:11
Speaker
Yeah. Cause a guy like this, I feel like also, you know, again, someone who's like taking care of their body, like putting a lot of like effort and time into doing these things probably gets their eight hours.
00:32:23
Speaker
You're probably not shorting yourself on sleep. ah like It's like necessary to get your seven to eight hours. Yeah. I don't know. i don't know how they could do it. And also, he like what was a little bit annoying to me, too, is that he clearly lives in a nice apartment.
00:32:36
Speaker
Oh, I'd chalk that up to him living in like Southeast Asia or something like that. That's not... I think he lives like abroad. There's no way he's living in America. Like with but how nice everything looked.
00:32:49
Speaker
You saw the the the kids that he interacted with. They were American. No. they You know what? Maybe it's like Australia. Those those kids didn't sound American. Maybe. Maybe. But the reason I said that was because he lives he clearly lives in a great apartment.
00:33:02
Speaker
And yeah he's drinking like bottled water. or Glass bottled water. yeah um Saratoga Springs. Is that what that is? It seems like it. the no it's sa water it's Yeah. Saratoga Water.
00:33:14
Speaker
Which is probably what, like $9 a bottle looked insane. Yeah, that's how you know that you've made it, boys. If you can't be bothered to use a little Brita filter or just drink straight out of the tap in your million dollar apartment.
00:33:29
Speaker
Hey, I mean, great up there, man. Literally great branding for them, though. Like, congrats to them. I'm looking at their corporate head like office. It's a small house.
00:33:40
Speaker
they Hey, they hit the big with this one. when you Probably make a bank. Bottle of water? Yeah. I mean, Saratoga spring water is fantastic. But yes, I'm not drinking three bottles of it in it in a six-hour period, you know? And then pouring it in and using it as a face wash with lemon.
00:33:57
Speaker
What's up with the lip strip? what is what What does that do? Why is that a thing? and now see it all over the place. Yeah, cleans you know dead skin off your lips. over Over the lips? Yeah, over the lips. It's probably the same thing as over the nose.
00:34:13
Speaker
He was wearing it when he woke up. yeah Yeah. just wearing Just taping your mouth shut overnight. Yeah, that's a thing. Truly, people do that because like if they're if they're um mouth breathers when they sleep, it's supposedly like supposed to keep you from snoring and and it's supposed to like help with the...
00:34:35
Speaker
like the the bad breath that you get in the morning and stuff like that. Like it's supposed to cut all of that out. That's natural though. I mean, you're, I don't understand like why why, are we trying to ruin like what's natural?
00:34:49
Speaker
Like, yeah, obviously bad breath isn't great, but like that's a natural process when you sleep. like Like, I think it would be worse if you kept your mouth closed the whole time and there was no air going through it to air it out.
00:35:00
Speaker
I think you'd be in a worse state. You breathe through your nose. You're supposed to breathe through your nose. Yeah, no, I understand that. But but like that I get right. Like people trying to solve like small problems like that is how you start a business, how you make money. Like if you could get rid of your bad breath, what do you want to Mike?
00:35:21
Speaker
Yeah, i just I just added a 30 pack to the Amazon cart. um umma Did you really? Yeah, let's test it out. Fuck it. Why not? And that and they got you. Look at that. that did He got me an ambassador and he just got you. definitely beri it But read it. Go ahead.
00:35:38
Speaker
Go ahead. No, probably not an ambassador because there's no brand on the thing. He just has, you know, the things on. I want you to read the description. Yeah. I'll tell you what it's good for.
00:35:50
Speaker
um Minimizing skin irritation. Oh, that's just about the tape itself. Let's see what it's supposed to do. Mike, you are you are so close to this camera right now. Do you know how hard it is to edit when you get this close? You know how shit it looks in the reels when you do this?
00:36:09
Speaker
You know how you stop bad breath is just brushing twice a day. Yeah, of course. Hold on. You're going to burn that camera. Get back. You're going to sear a hole through that thing. You guys want me to get up and grab something to the fridge? or Yeah, could you?
00:36:27
Speaker
All right. It it literally, it it again, like Austin said, reduces snoring, and plu improves your sweet sleep quality because you're breathing in better air. I guess, you know, you're your nose filters out toxins in the ah ah versus your mouth.
00:36:43
Speaker
Yep. Reduces dry mouth. um But your nose is not a HEPA filter, you know, like it doesn't. Yeah, but it's better than your mouth. Biological help. of it Wow. HEPA filter. You hear that? was going to rock it. I was going to rock with it, but you stopped yourself.
00:36:57
Speaker
You call me out on that shit. I can't be. I don't really know how this. Maybe it's because people might not like the feeling of their mouth tape closed, but literally drawback. number Drawback number one is discomfort, which fair enough.
00:37:10
Speaker
But drawback number two is increased anxiety. Yeah. which like i'm really Like I've seen the ads for it on TikTok because everybody and their mother is doing ads for this stuff now on TikTok and they show them like they're laying down with the tape over their mouth and they're like, you know, like they're suffocating and I'm like, your nose is uncovered.
00:37:30
Speaker
Yeah. You can just breathe through your nose. Just breathe. This is funny. Yeah. No, it's ridiculous. It's one of those things where people are buying them for like, because they market them too. They're like, oh, it'll shape your jaw.
00:37:43
Speaker
yeah I feel like we're making problems problems. Like this is not a problem. Clearly it is, Mike. These people are making millions of dollars.
00:37:55
Speaker
I'll tell you what, you want you want to make money, Mike? you you You say your product is going to make somebody look better. Yeah, of course. Of course. You know, like people buy millions of them.
00:38:07
Speaker
Anything about looks is going to sell. it's That's a given. It's been going on for years. but I'm just saying, like ah you know like we're not going to make like we're making things that aren't a problem a problem, right? Like snoring. Snoring is natural.
00:38:24
Speaker
I'm going to cut through this bullshit. right Listen, listen. I'm to cut through this bullshit, and I'm going to read you guys a TikTok comment we just got. Hey.
Responding to Podcast Comparisons
00:38:32
Speaker
Don't cut it. Let's hear it No, no, no.
00:38:36
Speaker
It says, are you guys just a B-grade version of the basement yard? oh That's great. A B-grade version? Listen, i they could have said so many worse things. yeah Listen, a B? That's pretty good. Are you guys the dollar like the Dollar Tree version of the basement yard?
00:38:58
Speaker
Dollar Tree makes a lot of money. Yeah, this is calling us like the Dollar General. Hey, we're a step above. We're not them, but we're a step above. That means that's good. eventually Yeah. Don't to have to get them on the podcast. We're gonna have to invite them on be like, hey, fellow basement podcast guys.
00:39:20
Speaker
Here's the Zencasterling. and germany be join Join the Join the plebs. Yeah. B-grades. That's great. Honestly, hey, look he could have said F grade version.
00:39:32
Speaker
You're right. You know, grade. We were just compared. Yeah. B grade. That's great. Not bad. Yeah. I'll take that. I will. I will fully take that.
00:39:45
Speaker
I will. I'll take that, too. We need to we need to ah we need to start commenting back. I know. we Yeah. We need to start like interacting with our fans or haters. I've only interacted with one hater, and he ended up like blocking us. So, you know, fair enough.
00:40:00
Speaker
Maybe because I told him to... Uh-oh. Don't say it. I'm not going say it. Come on. You can say it. Come on. You can say it. No, I'm not. Come on. It wasn't that bad. You can say it.
00:40:11
Speaker
No. It's fine. Yeah. He's so shy. Look at me. right, Mike, I'm sorry to cut you off there, but again, I think i think we've we're beating the dead horse here. you don't like You don't like new products.
00:40:24
Speaker
You want to keep things traditional. We get it. No, it's not new products. You're not willing to try ah cool, innovative thing to help a bad breath or sleep. You guys aren't willing to try wine with Oreos.
00:40:36
Speaker
Okay? Can we talk about that for second? Absolutely disgusting. you guys don't you guys You guys aren't the one that wants to try new things, if anything. No. Listen. Jeez, man. I know. i know. I can't. I can't turn it off.
00:40:52
Speaker
If I mute that, then I mute you guys. So i don't like it's not even open. I don't even know what to do. but it just gives me work PTSD. That's all. Hold on. I just tried to quit it again. Let's see if that works. But my guess is that it will get seven more pings.
00:41:08
Speaker
Sincere apologies. yeah it's whatever. It's just funny listening back to it in the edit, just being just like halfway through just hearing it and like, I see the clear way I could know in some of the clips, like or at least one of them, it's come up and you just see me look at it. and I'm like, this is I'm so sorry.
00:41:28
Speaker
Oh, man. All right. Well, let's get into the clippable portion of this podcast.
'Would You Rather' Segment
00:41:36
Speaker
The would you rather section. Let's do it. Mike's favorite segment. It's always a good time on the would you rather. Listen, we're going to start off slow, obviously. always. Like always.
00:41:48
Speaker
And then, I mean, and hey, listen, we got some we have some good ones tonight. All right. I love it. Damn, there's actually not a lot of slow questions. It ramps up pretty quick.
00:42:00
Speaker
Just looking at what I wrote, I'm like, Jesus Christ. OK. All right. Is he watching the game? Well, they're down for nothing, so I'd hope you haven't turned off at this point. I've been getting the notifications on my phone.
00:42:11
Speaker
I haven't turned it off, but i i um I do like to watch how miserable they are Yeah, well, ah she eats you could pause it for like 30 minutes. Yes, this is my team.
00:42:22
Speaker
No, no, I'm paying attention. I'm paying attention. All right. Would you guys rather live for a million years or die in six months?
00:42:37
Speaker
So you're either, I mean, not immortal, but you outlive probably the human race in general. At some point in the next million years, it's gone. and Probably the planet.
00:42:49
Speaker
Probably the planet, you know. So you're just kind of walking along a ball of dust.
00:42:57
Speaker
Maybe a ball of lava. like I think I'd still rather live a million years. Six months is too soon. know, but then, you know, everyone you love is going to die anyway. And then you have another...
00:43:09
Speaker
997 years to go or whatever it is. You know what I mean? You still have almost infinity to go. You can't kill yourself. you to learn sorry If you told me that I had six months to live, but I had like $50 million dollars and I could just go balls to the wall and live my life to the fullest.
00:43:28
Speaker
Well, you could. I mean, listen, just take out a bunch of loans. going to die in six months anyway. nobody's going approve me for that much money. Well, not 50 million, but like a couple hundred thousand, take out a mortgage, spend it on, you know, some other stuff instead of a car or in a house, or one bed you know, that's true. That's tempting.
00:43:45
Speaker
How about you, Mike? Well, ah my question is, is do, if I die in six months, am i living my regular life in these six months? Well, no, you have. Well, I mean, yes, yeah like you can do other stuff because you know you're going to die. Mike's like, I'm just going to go to work. I'll i'll live my life as normal until that day.
00:44:08
Speaker
Mike's like, fuck it. Give me two months. Yeah. What about just now? Actually. Would you like to live a million years or would you like to just off yourself right now?
00:44:20
Speaker
I got gotta to live a million years. I got to take the million years. Okay. Yeah. Vic, I get the feeling that you're saying I'm going take the six months. Oh, no, I don't have to choose. I'm the I'm the I'm the question guy.
00:44:32
Speaker
Oh, my God. That's not fair. ah That's not fair at all. Come on, you got to give us some kind of response. yeah Probably six months. i don't know.
00:44:42
Speaker
I don't want to outlive everyone for what am going to do for a million? I'm bored now. What am I going to do for a million years? You're going to live on Mars. It's going to be robots. It's going to be all right.
00:44:54
Speaker
Electricity will cease to exist. The earth will cease to exist. So how are we getting like, you know, electricity grids for like my Xbox or the computer? Like, what am I going to do? What am I going to for a million? umm What? am I'm going to read.
00:45:08
Speaker
to read dumb books like fucking what pairs. what There's no McDonald's anymore. I can't even get a filet of fish to pair with some dumb Austrian wine. I got to do it. Six months. I'm choosing the six months.
00:45:20
Speaker
Okay. All right. Fair, fair. Leave it at that. All right. I'll take that. I didn't, I didn't like that response, but okay, that's fine. You don't like the response because i talk shit about that dumb book you bought. I feel like that was a, I feel like that was a dig at me a little bit. No, it's not. It's not a dig at you. I understand you want to live for a million years. I'm just saying I would be bored.
00:45:38
Speaker
What can I do? You know what i mean? It's going to be so much in the next, uh, a hundred years. There's going to be cars that run out water soon. I mean, come on. All that can go away. Yeah, but you can go live on Mars or something.
00:45:51
Speaker
if of technology If the technology exists. Yeah. I mean, come on. They're going to photosynthesize, you know. Mike, the world can get wiped out like next year. We can go to World War III and then none of this technology is advanced enough. Oh, my God.
00:46:08
Speaker
They've been saying World War III since the dawn of time. Come on. But that know that's what I'm saying is anything could happen without these technological advances. You don't know when they're going to happen. They're not guaranteed to happen.
00:46:20
Speaker
But you're guaranteed to be here for a million years no matter what. It's not like you're God. it's You're still you. You're not going to figure this shit out by yourself. also Also, think about it this way, right? You live to be a million years old.
00:46:33
Speaker
At some point, I'm convinced in the near future, time travel will be figured out. Definitely less than a million years from now. So if you do get to you know be around that long and take advantage of that technology, then you can come back.
00:46:49
Speaker
And say all your family members have died. Sure. But then you you come back, you can still spend time with them. and You still be around for millions of years or a million years. I'm still going to choose the six months because you know what? I'm going to live it internally in the kingdom of Christ.
00:47:04
Speaker
Amen. With my brothers and sisters. Hallelujah. That's right. All your sins and impurities will be gone and forgiven once you exactly i'm already get an amen. I'm already guaranteed to live forever.
00:47:16
Speaker
Can I get an amen? Sounds like it um I guess I won't be living forever with Austin from the way he was like, that's like a family guy skit where then all of a sudden the person dies and it cuts to black and they're like, fuck.
00:47:30
Speaker
All right. All
Sports Challenge Debate
00:47:33
Speaker
right. Next question. You are set to be executed by the government. You need to choose between Steph Curry making a three over Victor Wembenyama, who is six, seven for or seven, six for you guys, you know, who don't know basketball.
00:47:47
Speaker
Or Ronaldo to score a penalty versus the best goalie in the world? Who do you choose? Steph Curry, easy. Steph Curry, easy. I think I take Ronaldo.
00:47:59
Speaker
I feel like there's better chance. No, I think there's a better chance Ronaldo hits the penalty than Steph making the three. has to shoot over a guy who's a foot and a half taller than him. Yeah, but that guy's slow.
00:48:11
Speaker
Like you tell me he's not that he's not that slow. You know, do me one of these. Hey, listen, maybe, but your life depends on it. If he doesn't pull that off and the shot gets blocked, you're dead. Also, I guess ah the the other reason that I would choose that is that penalty kick is over in 0.2 seconds.
00:48:27
Speaker
You know what i mean? At least with Steph Curry, I've got a little bit more time to savor before I end up losing. you have an extra You have an extra second of that ball being in the air? what's Okay, we need to do the research. What's Steph Curry's three-point percentage this year?
00:48:41
Speaker
All right, Mike. I like to say get. And I need to know what's... I want to know what's Ronaldo's penalty conversion percentage this season.
00:48:51
Speaker
question mike a Good question, Good question. Good job, buddy. Both are equally hard. Incredibly. Incredibly. I mean, we all know Steph can do it. We all know Cristiano can do it.
00:49:03
Speaker
But what what are we looking at right now? Because they're both a little older.
00:49:08
Speaker
feel like gut feeling says that the the number of penalty kicks that have actually gone in He's less than 50%. No, no, no. I'm taking, re I'm taking Ronaldo all day the year or yeah, whatever, whatever the phrase of the year. Yeah. You know what I, you know what I mean? You know what I mean?
00:49:26
Speaker
know. He's given us, he's taken 11. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. He's taken 11 penalties. He's made nine of them. He's nine of 11. Okay. He's only missed. He's only missed two in, in.
00:49:38
Speaker
Okay. Wait, that seems like a low number. Nine, 11 in penalty kicks. he's made nine he's he's scored 11 he's taken 11 yeah that's crazy so that's a crazy joke that's right yeah again but i will say last career the competition the competition again the best goalkeeper in the world i don't know who that is right now but in his career oh that was just penalty that's like uh
00:50:11
Speaker
Oh, that's this year. Shootouts, he's the same percentage. Overall, he's shooting. He's scoring 85% of his penalties. Oh, those are great odds. But can you look up who the best goalie is and what their saves are? Who would it be? I'm
00:50:32
Speaker
and trying to think who would be. I wouldn't even know how to match that up, by the way, if it's like the goalie has. Yeah, I mean, they're they're talking like ah Becker or you know, Allison on Liverpool.
00:50:43
Speaker
ah Thibaut Courtois. Manuel Neuer is still there. Is Manuel Neuer still? Yeah, he's still around. So let's let's go Becker. that's If that's a consensus, we're going to Allison Becker.
00:50:57
Speaker
Penalty...
00:51:00
Speaker
Yeah, we need to know what a save percentage is. And then we got to look at Steph's three throw. His save percentage is 74.4. Okay, got an edge.
00:51:11
Speaker
Yeah. Ronaldo got like 10% edge. Okay, so the odds are good. Let's go penalties.
00:51:20
Speaker
okay so I mean, I almost don't even want to I almost don't even want to explore the Steph Curry option. I feel like the percentage is always going to be less than that. Yeah. Steph Curry is shooting this year, 40% from three.
00:51:33
Speaker
Ooh. Yeah. That's what people that are way shorter. Yes. That's what people way shorter in his career right now. He's shooting 43% from three. percent Oh, okay.
00:51:44
Speaker
This is, this is, this is an easy choice. I think it's an easy, i think I'm going to the penalty kick. Yeah. Now again, Maybe Allison kind of finds it, blocks it. and Maybe Rinaldo blows it over to the bar. i mean Exactly. That could happen, too. It doesn't matter, right? It's a 50% chance. it's It's not, though. It's way higher than that.
00:52:05
Speaker
That because he blows it? No, no, no. That he makes it. Way higher that he makes it. Yeah. Because he has the edge. Yeah. Yeah, he could blow it over the goal post, but I mean, like, he's, 85% of the time, he's not doing that.
00:52:19
Speaker
Actually, right even the ones that he's missing, if they're blocked, he's still hitting it within that zone. he's still hitting the dark target. He's still hitting the target. Yeah. right. So I think we can all agree there. I think yeah i think it's i think it's messy.
00:52:31
Speaker
yeah i mean, I think it's Ronaldo. My bad. yeah What's scarier is my gut reaction was so bad.
00:52:38
Speaker
Can't do that. All right. Next one.
Moral Dilemma & Humor
00:52:42
Speaker
Would you rather kill your mom oh my god or 15 babies? o That's so bad.
00:52:54
Speaker
Why would you know right now, Mike, when you run for office, would you rather kill your mother or 15 babies? Let's go. Let us know. Off the bat, I'm probably probably killing my mom. She would probably want the 15 babies to be spared. So that's what I'm saying. I think my mom would would be willing to sacrifice for 15 children. Yeah. you know
00:53:17
Speaker
I tend I tend to agree. All right. We can we can leave it at that. Which is give the nicest possible answer. Nicest possible answer and move the fuck on. All right.
00:53:31
Speaker
Would you rather have sex with the job of the hut once or watch job of the hut, have sex with every woman you've ever been close with once?
00:53:42
Speaker
Nope. No, I'm having sex with job the hut. hundred percent. but Where do you, where do you find these questions? i He made them up.
00:53:54
Speaker
Yeah. A little bit of the Internet, a little bit of, you know, my version. You know, i'm I'm taking I'm taking stuff I see on the Internet and I'm adding my twist to it. Right. A little bit of a. so and Yeah. well Which parts the Internet, which parts the twist?
00:54:07
Speaker
That's the answer. Yeah. yeah Answer the question. Yeah. I'm going to have to mean job at have to be getting it on. All right. Yeah. Same. That seems like a potentially life threatening event.
00:54:17
Speaker
Yeah, it does seem like that might kill you. But yeah, it does. Does he throw me in the rancor pit after? i mean, no, no. How does he do a good job? Yeah, you dap up afterwards. He goes back to his house. you Or no, you leave his apartment.
00:54:32
Speaker
You know, you do the walk of shame. You leave the ship. Yeah, exactly. at your heels You start walking. All right, guys. Last question. It's not really a would you rather question. It's more of a, you know.
00:54:45
Speaker
It's a question of will, you know, how how how strong your resolve is. We know from the salad question, Mike's isn't that strong. Right. But ah maybe so much. Maybe he'll surprise us here.
00:54:58
Speaker
If each backshot was 100 K, how many backshots are you taking?
00:55:07
Speaker
Interesting. I'm taking 100. Are these? ah That's that's 10 million dollars for what? a couple of hours of discomfort. Yeah. You a couple of hours?
00:55:19
Speaker
I would hope. don't know. I guess you get to regulate the speed and, can I do like 50 at a time? Yeah, guess, you know, I guess take do 50, take a little break. I mean, but you only have to do it twice.
00:55:31
Speaker
It's a hundred, right? Right. How much too little much is each? A hundred K. Yeah. I'm taking one and then I'm taking 50K and I'm bringing it right to the casino. to make it to a million. Hold on. So you just said that's how that work you would get a back shot just to lose 50K?
00:55:52
Speaker
That's right. I'm taking one just to lose it immediately. we are the we all know that's that's exactly what Victor's doing. He's bringing it FanDuel. Absolutely not.
00:56:03
Speaker
Mike, if you're doing one, why wouldn't you do more? Yeah, at that point, just do five. Right.
00:56:12
Speaker
I'll do two and I'll send half the money to the. This is so crazy. That's crazy. If I have a chance for a hundred per backshot, best believe that's the easiest money I've ever made. But now there have to be some stipulations, right? Like maybe I could put a little bag over my head, right? Like nobody needs to see me, you know? Yeah. You know, you're facedown either way.
00:56:31
Speaker
was going to you're not. Yeah. If it's a backshot, you're not looking. Yeah. You don't know. It could be, it could be a guy, could be a girl. Yeah. and Listen, i guy but I'm not below these hypothetical situations. If you're telling me that I'm going to get free money for five minutes worth of work.
00:56:47
Speaker
Yeah. um Again, listen, three hours worth of work. Yeah. Listen, you could just keep going. I'll never have to work. it All right. Listen, it's ah it's probably uncomfortable, right?
00:56:58
Speaker
It probably would suck. But you know what else doesn't suck? Going on vacations, buying cool things. That's right. Uh, that's it. Those are the only two things I have that would come from this.
00:57:12
Speaker
That's right. And I would never, I would never have to work again. By the way, this is a real career for some people. Yeah, exactly. People get paid much less to take way more back shots.
00:57:23
Speaker
A hundred percent. And who are we exactly to turn it down? Exactly. If this was offered to me, I'm saying a hundred and I might say more, get halfway through this thing. And I might be like, Hey, we can go to two, you go to 200.
00:57:38
Speaker
Say, hey, hold on. Maybe I come back tomorrow. Yeah. you know Listen, if it's like, you know, it's like the Mr. Beast videos, the longer you last, the more money he gives you.
00:57:49
Speaker
Right. Yeah. We might not even have to put a cap on it. I might type i might tap out of like day 47, like something. You know what I mean? And he's Victor sitting there and he's like, for my kids, yeah for my kids. How much it? 47 trillion. Okay. Yeah. I think that's enough.
00:58:05
Speaker
Yeah. that no That would be the, and somebody would be like, all right, 100K per. And Vic looks back at them dead in the face. How much money you got? Yeah. yeah what What's the max here? Is there is there a cap out? Right.
00:58:19
Speaker
Let me read the fine print. Is this, there a wrong person? Yeah. Yeah. yeah you You really asked the wrong person. Is this briefcase or electronic funding? Like, how are we doing this?
00:58:31
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. though The money's getting wired from the Cayman Islands. Right. It'll hit your but bank account immediately. Right. This is legitimate. Each time, each time you take one there's a guy pressing a little, he's hitting the enter button on the computer to electronically transfer you.
00:58:47
Speaker
I wanted to cash because if it goes, if it goes into the account, then there's going to be taxes taken out Mike, Mike, this is a fictional scenario where you're taking back shots. Do you think there are taxes in this scenario?
00:58:59
Speaker
You think this is taxable income? And that's what you're thinking about right now? Right. Even if there was, who cares? what and Oh, you're getting 60K per backshot?
00:59:12
Speaker
You know? That's $40,000 I missed out on. We'll take a couple extra backshots, Mike, and then it's ugly. Make it back up. Oh, Mike. I can't believe he's thinking about taxes.
00:59:25
Speaker
Yeah, no, I can't. ah fictional scenario yo He's like, well, you know, really the the tax rate over. And if you think about it.
00:59:37
Speaker
Oh, man, that's a lot of money that I missed out on just to just to receive that. Yeah. I want that in cash. That's hilarious. My God. I respect it, though, because that means that you're taking it seriously. and yeah Better than you've done for most of these questions. But you know what's crazy? He's taking it seriously, but he's like, only going to do that, too.
00:59:55
Speaker
Yeah, no, that that's a little crazy. That's Mike's that's mike's ah ego kicking in there. Listen, Mike, if you're going to take a back shot, take 20, man, at least. Run run the numbers up.
01:00:05
Speaker
What makes it my ego? i mean You've got something going on here where you're like, oh, I'll dip my toe in. yeah like I'll do a little bit. Maybe it's not all about the money. Maybe it's not all about the money. It's specifically about the money. That's the whole scenario.
01:00:21
Speaker
It's the whole thing. You guys are making this about money. It's about more than that. It's about my morals. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah.
01:00:33
Speaker
All right. I'd probably do like 10. Yeah. At least at least a minute that's what I think 10 is the minimum. Yeah. I at least a million. Right. And and and if if we can compound here and it can happen at once.
01:00:47
Speaker
10, 10 could be a a two minute scenario. Exactly. I'm saying, I mean, if you think about it, 10 could be in a short amount of time. That's what saying. You know, take 10, 20, 30, water break, another 10 water break, another 10 hose down.
01:01:01
Speaker
Yeah. A little snack break, you know, in between 40 and 50, you know, just like a car back up, get some energy in me. Yeah. Do an outfit change.
01:01:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. What are you wearing? I don't know. Not much. I'll tell you that. that's well That's what I'm alluding to. I mean, what are you wearing while this is happening? What is it? twitter What outfit change? you Maybe I come out. I come out round one in a maid's outfit.
01:01:26
Speaker
Round two, sexy nurse. Round three. You know, we'll leave that up to the, the you you know, our listeners to decide. Substitute teacher. You know? Yeah. No big deal. I'm doing teams.
01:01:38
Speaker
And you guys are making fun of me because there was a cause I was talking about taxes. Meanwhile, he has the whole routine set up. All right, listen, I'm having fun with it. You were trying to bring it to a level of like, oh, let's worry about some adult shit while we're doing this.
01:01:52
Speaker
the fuck out of here. Boo. Boring. Yeah. You guys will thank me one day. For what? what When I come back and I listen to this episode 30 years from now, I'm not going to appreciate the fact that you were talking about taxes. If this page if this page is still up in 30 years, I think that's going to be a problem.
01:02:15
Speaker
No, not the page, but the recordings will live forever.
Wrap-Up & Listener Engagement
01:02:20
Speaker
yeah I know they will, which is why you should let me release that clip. It's already public. It's on YouTube. Like the full episode is on YouTube. I might as well just release a clip.
01:02:34
Speaker
At this point, we're going to have such a great. um Like mismatch of videos to play at your funeral.
01:02:45
Speaker
You admitting that you should get back shots of money. Previous would you rather scenario that we had. Yeah. on loop
01:02:56
Speaker
Maybe we could do that for your wedding. Just like a little compilation, you know? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. It wouldn't be half as bad as the compilation we have for you. Like not even close.
01:03:10
Speaker
It would be so tame. It would be. that It would be so tame that it almost would not be worth watching. That's it. It's true. i am i am um extremely less entertaining than you are, Mike.
01:03:26
Speaker
That's right. Don't cast like me. Don't cast like me right now. I told you, Mike, listen, people people are listening and they love you. They think you bring such a great energy to the podcast.
01:03:37
Speaker
Thank you guys for listening in on episode 137 of Audrey at the Basement.
01:03:43
Speaker
Don't forget to comment, like, subscribe. did you Did you put together an outro music that we can use? Yeah, I did. Oh, no. I didn't like.
01:03:57
Speaker
ah No, but we'll just let that one out. We still got it. ah we saw that
01:04:04
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, I guess we'll wrap that up there. that's fun We've been going for an hour. No. Yeah, yeah we have. We have. All right. I'll just have to cut all that other stuff and it's just gonna be a hard cut to Mike saying thanks for listening.
01:04:17
Speaker
I'll put a little bit in there and then just, you know, cut right to the end. Yeah.
01:04:23
Speaker
All right. Well, Mike already said the outro, so I'm not going to say it again. Make sure you rate the podcast. Give us give us five stars. Yep. Five stars, baby. Five stars.
01:04:34
Speaker
And then we'll see you guys next week.