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S2E27 Who?! #REPOST from The Surrogacy Space Podcast
39 Plays23 days ago
In this episode of The Surrogacy Space, hosted by Marla Neufeld, Executive Director, Katy Encalade, shares the inspiring mission behind Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions. Katy discusses how we help create happy families through our comprehensive egg donation and surrogacy programs, while providing meaningful support to intended parents, donors, and surrogates alike. Tune in to learn more about who we are, what we do, and the incredible impact of our work in family-building. A special thank you to Marla for having Katy as a guest and for her commitment to exploring important conversations in the surrogacy community.
Be sure to check out this episode and others on The Surrogacy Space! https://open.spotify.com/episode/6hvVXclRRTC6atF1qL3mXw
Learn more about Marla Neufeld at www.gmlaw.com
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Transcript
Introduction to Surrogacy and Egg Donation
00:00:00
Speaker
me, you, and who? Who knew it would take more than two people to have a baby? In a world where infertility is no longer a taboo topic, this podcast will take you through all of the different aspects of surrogacy and egg donation through the lens of many who walk this journey in different ways.
Meet Whitney Hall and Her Role
00:00:20
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My name is Whitney Hall, and I am a two-time Surrogate Now-Turned Surrogacy Coordinator for Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions.
00:00:28
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the very agency I used when I chose to carry for two amazing families. With this podcast, it is our goal to help guide and support you as you learn about what it takes to grow a family in an alternative way, as well as hear inspiring and beautiful stories of how this path has changed lives forever.
Exploring Unique Services with Katie Ingolade
00:00:49
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We can't wait for you to hear about just one more way happy families are created every day.
00:00:57
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Hi, everyone, and welcome to me, you, and who. We're thrilled to share that our very own executive director, Katie Ingolade, was a special guest on The Surrogacy Space, hosted by the incredible attorney Marla Newfield. In this episode, Katie dives into the heart of what makes egg donor and surrogate solutions so unique. From our mission to create happy families to the meaningful ways we support intended parents, egg donors, and surrogates,
00:01:25
Speaker
you'll get an inside look at the life changing work we do. A big thank you to Marla for providing such a wonderful platform to share our story and for her dedication to discussing the important topics in third party family building. Be sure to check out this episode and explore the other insightful episodes that Marla has on the surrogacy space.
Collaboration Insights with Marla Neufeld and Katie
00:01:46
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Please enjoy.
00:01:58
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Hello, my name is Marla Neufeld and I'm a Florida surrogacy attorney at Greenspoon Martyr. I'm the founder of The Practice at Greenspoon. And today I'm joined by the very wonderful and experienced executive director and owner of Egg, Donor, and Surrogate Solutions, Katie Unkelaid. Thank you so much for joining us today.
00:02:20
Speaker
Thank you, Marla, for having me. I'm excited. Yes, my pleasure. I mean, I've had the great privilege of working with your agency for many years now. And I know my clients, both intended parents and separately surrogates, are always so happy. I know as an attorney, I enjoy working with you guys because I always get very quick responses back, and we're always moving things along. So it's it's always a pleasure to work with you.
00:02:44
Speaker
Well, the same is true for us. We love attorneys that are able to draft and review everything thoroughly um and ensure that all parties understand this process and what they're interested in. So I know my team has always said how responsive you have been. And so the feeling is mutual.
History and Expansion of the Agency
00:03:02
Speaker
Thank you. I appreciate that. Well, for our listeners today, you know, we have so many different types of people that listen to the surrogacy space. We have intended parents and surrogates, and I just wanted to take some time to have you explain ah kind of like the founding of egg donor and surrogate solutions, how long you've been in business for, kind of where you're based out of, just a little background on the agency itself.
00:03:23
Speaker
OK, sure. So our surrogacy program opened in 2007. At that time, we really just had a Texas and a Florida branch of surrogacy. It worked a little bit different back in the day than it does now. um Now our surrogacy program is nationwide. We work from families and you know all over the US s and even international families that come here to the US to go through surrogacy.
Matching Process and Criteria
00:03:50
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We opened our end donor program in 2012. And so we saw a need for a program that works a little bit differently, had a diverse database, and you know wanted to have that one coordinator who will walk them through the process. And so we opened our program in 2012.
00:04:11
Speaker
We have a great team that is spread out all over the U.S. a lot are in the Dallas area, which is where I am. when We have an office here. um We also have a good number of team members in Florida and then Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, Colorado, Las Vegas. So the restaurant is everywhere.
00:04:32
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we've a lot of our team members have experience in and donation or surrogacy personally either they helped in that way or they built their family and so we haven't really um worked to just add our team locally because that experience is so key. That's great I mean to hear you're expanding and helping people all over and I know just having worked with you I know you do a lot of work in Florida which is why we get the chance to work together which has been great.
00:04:58
Speaker
Yeah, we used to have an office in Florida, but after COVID, nobody wanted to meet with us in person anymore. Understood. It wasn't as necessary. Well, it's the sign of the times that you know you can work so your scope can reach so far from you know different places. So I can ask this a lot. If you could just explain a little bit, generally, how do you counsel your intended parents on for surrogacy on the matching wait times?
00:05:21
Speaker
Yeah, so every single agency is different and we are no different in how we work from the beginning. So typically we say three weeks to 10 months and that variation has to do with the criteria of that family. So do they want somebody that's local? do they Are they open to a first time carrier or just a proven carrier? um What is their views around termination, vaccines? What type of relationship are they looking for?
00:05:50
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Right. So we're pretty, we're able to tell a family pretty quickly, like what we would assume their wait time would be based on those things, but it's not perfect, obviously. Um, and so we just work with them. We're open, but the kicker to that is we don't require any fees upfront. So We don't have like a wait list where someone pays money, and then you get put on a wait list. A lot of those agencies then it's kind of like one for one. So as that GC comes in, they pretty much kind of got to pick somebody at the top of the list and and go down from there. Of course, we love to do it the way we do because we feel like a quality match is really important. And ultimately, if you've given somebody your money, eventually they will have to match you. um And so
00:06:39
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we just don't think that that always yields the best
Facilitating Effective Matches
00:06:41
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results. Now it's great for intended parents that wanna make sure they get a match, but it also may not be the journey that they're looking for. And so we would rather have that quality match a front. Yeah, that's great to hear and great for people to know it is unique. um And does that apply where unintended parent or parents don't have to and necessarily engage you with the retainer payment for both surrogacy and egg donation?
00:07:05
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Correct. So surrogacy, it's not so a surrogate will see their profile. An intended parent will like that profile. We'll do a match meeting. We'll send records to be reviewed. And then that agreement and payment is due. And the Ag donor program, they get to look at our pay, look at our website for free. Again, send medical records. If she's donated before, look for that approval from the clinic before they sign an agreement and pay that initial deposit.
00:07:30
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in both of our programs. If the GC or egg donor doesn't pass screening, then we have refunds or rematch options available as well. Awesome. Well, that's very helpful information to share. And Angus, I'm just curious kind of what are typical things that you look for when you do accept a surrogate into your program? So I would say the first thing is healthy pregnancies. We're looking for GCs that have successfully gone through pregnancy, typically sometime recently with that within the past 10 years, um, we follow all ASRM guidelines. So that's a decent baseline there. Yes. We're looking for GCs that have just a pure heart and great motives to go through this process. You know, as an attorney, everything really can't be written in a contract. Um, and you know, you need to get to a place where like everybody just agrees that like we're on this path for one.
00:08:27
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big goal and that's a happy, healthy baby at the end. And so we're really looking for people. Yes, the compensation is great, but that cannot be the only motivation because there are too many hiccups in this process for that to be the motivation.
00:08:42
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ah sorry They're going through an interview process with our team, always with a previous surrogate that's able to share her own experiences. So we want to make sure that they understand the commitment involved and that they have a really strong support system. So, you know, parents, spouses, friends, obviously right pregnancy itself can be tiring, but there's a lot of commitments in a surrogacy journey that maybe someone doesn't have in a typical pregnancy. And we want to make sure that they are supported.
00:09:11
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um through those healthy pregnancies like we're reviewing medical records we're getting OB and MFM clearance and we always have a third party review health insurance if they claim to have coverage that's going to um cover a seriously pregnancy. That's very helpful and a very important step I think as well. Yeah it is. So what are some of the questions typically that are asked like when you are matching between a surrogate and a potential intended parent how does those conversations look?
00:09:39
Speaker
So we usually always remind people that since we're not a one for one agency, we're already looking for those things in common just based on those profiles. So we as a staff have collaborated on families and on surrogates and decided, okay, what type of a match would be good for them, for them to have a good experience. but And so in that we're looking at proximity, termination views,
00:10:02
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COVID vaccine, what does delivery look like? But then of course, we're going to dive deeper at a match
Geographic Distribution of Surrogates
00:10:07
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meeting. And a big piece of that comes around expectations around communication during that journey. um That is huge. what What is expected in that relationship? How much Does, you know, how much is that intended parent going to want to be at OB appointments and delivery? And what does that delivery room look like? um We do help create a birth plan where everybody's on the same page and we give that to the hospital, but still understanding that early on, you know, doesn't tendant father want to cut the umbilical cord?
00:10:38
Speaker
what are the plans for pumping after delivery? Is the GC open to that? Do the intended parents even want that? um So that ideal delivery, maybe what that relationship is going to look like long-term. Some people might be looking up more of like a cut and dry um transaction where more people are looking for that long-term relationship. I mean, I was a surrogate 10 years ago and I didn't know them, of course. Um, and, but like the intent of all, we have become friends over 10 years and we don't live in the same city. That isn't what we thought. And we're super grateful that that's what's happened. Um, and then usually they're connecting on things in common. I was talking to a team member the other day and she was like,
00:11:21
Speaker
This intended mom and GC talked about Taylor sch Swift for 30 minutes on our matchmaking. But that is so common. Um, we want there to be, you know, some commonality that always helps in any relationship. Having that commonality is going to help it to thrive and grow through this process and build that trust when and if something happens that is less than ideal.
00:11:47
Speaker
Yeah, I really do second what you said about communication really is one of the biggest issues and one of the biggest issues I see if there ever is a problem. Many times it's rooted in communication. And I think that to the extent that people see eye to eye, to the best extent they can at the beginning, because obviously you don't know how things will will evolve over time.
00:12:07
Speaker
But you want to make sure those expectations are set correctly. If a surrogate is expecting a highly involved, intended parent and the parent wants it to be a little bit more transactional, it just creates tension. And it's best to eliminate as much as possible any tensions in the process, obviously.
Comprehensive Support Offered
00:12:22
Speaker
Exactly. Yes, exactly. And so I know you mentioned you guys are really working everywhere. And and you know is there a typical place where like predominantly you're finding mostly your surrogates where they're located?
00:12:36
Speaker
So because of how our business was started, that's where our reputation is. um I'm sure where Google live loves to show us as well. I'm sure there's a component of that. So right about 50% of our surrogates are either in Texas, Oklahoma, or Florida. so And then for another 50% are just spread out everywhere. ah that I would say we're more middle America.
00:13:03
Speaker
two but East coast rather than to the West coast, California is quite saturated. Um, fees are a lot higher there. So we don't spend a ton of, like we still do plenty of business out there, but we don't do a town. Yeah. It's not where we advertise.
00:13:19
Speaker
Okay. That makes a lot of sense. And I know you guys do a ton of work in the matching process and getting through transfer and, you know, what are some of the services that once someone's pregnant, how does the agency help through a pregnancy? And even like after the delivery, what kind of role is there for the agency at that point? Yeah, we are pretty hands on, um, and both programs and the number one thing fertility clinics always tell us is how proactive we are. And so every single case that comes through,
00:13:50
Speaker
gets one coordinator that is going to walk them through this process from start to finish. um All of our coordinators have all of ours in the surrogacy program have been surrogates before and multiple times. So they understand the hiccups and issues. They all go through continuing education. around those things, around communication and, um, mediation. And so they're very well versed and what that could look like. But so of course, from the match process to facilitating that match to then connecting with the fertility clinic does a side, okay, now what, what do they want? And so, you know, typically that's testing and screening. Sometimes that's local. If it's not, then we're booking the travel and taking care of everything there.
00:14:36
Speaker
booking psychological evaluations and consultations. Of course, when the time comes and everybody's screened, then we are referring them to wonderful attorneys like yourself, who we trust and have worked with. um We really think it's important like You can't get an agreement online and call it your own. Your buddy cannot represent you just because he's a lawyer. right So require everybody to be an art attorney and um you know have some experience in and donation and service. Equally surrogates and donors and tenant parents all have to have separate legal representation. yeah um And we require those attorneys to do reviews, not just
00:15:21
Speaker
sign off. And so we're, we're making sure that all of those things are done, especially if maybe they've come to us with an attorney. Um, so we're working through that. Of course, once everybody gets their calendar, that coordinator is going to have their calendar, which is a little, um, odd, I think in the industry, but like that coordinator is going to be, okay, do you understand your med dosage? Do you have all your meds? Actually, everybody schedules a med call and we say, you're supposed to have this much, this much Lupron.
00:15:49
Speaker
Do you have it? And they're like going through their box. Yeah. Cause like a lot of intended parents have been through this, but to the surrogates many times, they've never had to deal with this level of like medication and how precise it needs to be. I know a lot of people are nervous about that. Yeah. Well, and even the repeat, it's different. Like this joke done, you know, right. Vaginal estrus. And now they're doing an injection or, you know, right a Lupron protocol for egg donors, maybe not the next time. And so we like to make sure that they know that ah big appointments were big injections. Like in our egg donor program, our coordinator makes sure that she took her trigger injection on time, you know, within five minutes, even if it's 3 AM that coordinator setting her alarm wow text like, Hey girl, you did that right. So that's amazing. Hands on in Um, I wish I had that when I was going through this.
00:16:42
Speaker
That's very cool. Yeah, it's nice to know. I mean, we can't we can't be perfect, but we are definitely going to do our best to make sure everybody understands so there are no hiccups.
Postpartum Support Systems
00:16:53
Speaker
um We help create birth plans. And so those are all taken care of. We will do anything in between from a legal aspect to the hospital to make sure everything works out. Of course, we work with you to get the information that you would need um upon delivery.
00:17:09
Speaker
We help vet hospitals and help intended parents say, like okay, this is when a hospital tour is, this is what you'll want to book. Find out, are they going to get their own room? Are they going to need to room in or make alternate plans? Can they be in the delivery room? So there's no surprises. Of course, at delivery, we take care of everything that needs to be done from an emotional stance of like making sure everybody is fine and everything's going well and navigating that the legal aspects. But then we walk typically it's about six months postpartum with a family making sure that GC is recovering well and to the parents have adjusted if they need anything. How's that relationship going? And then of course the medical bills that are going to follow making sure that all of that is taken care of before we're closing out that third party escrow account.
Building Community Connections
00:17:58
Speaker
Yeah, it's really important to remember the post birth because there's definitely ends to tie up, and I think it can be a common thing where like some people feel less supported so it's, it's really nice to hear that there's still, you know, some hands on help during that time because you know the just closing up escrow is like a big production you have to make sure everything's done everything's paid and all that yeah i mean we even for our surrogates offer like a health and wellness postpartum group that helps them like oh get back physically fit a six-week program that we gift them at about eight weeks ten weeks postpartum that they can like join a group of other surrogates very cool in order to like feel that support as their
00:18:38
Speaker
you know surrogates are often kind of on a low they've been doing this thing and it's been fun and they've been in this relationship and even for intended parents they've had this really close relationship usually right and then they get home and they have a baby and there's so much to do and so some things can happen in that relation you know it can kind of trail off a little bit so yeah we're here to help navigate those expectations around that but also that's really great how we can walk along that surrogate to support her better that's a easy nicemo part So you mentioned a support group for the surrogates. What other resources does the agency have? like I know you mentioned you have a podcast as well. like What other types of information do you offer to prospective parents, surrogates, and whatnot?
00:19:22
Speaker
but we have private Facebook groups for both our parents and our surrogates where they can connect with people, kind of see where they're at in the journey. ask you know Some people will ask questions like, I want to give her like a present at the end. What have you done? What's fun? And even things like, man, we're really navigating like a difficult situation. So it's nice to have Or I'm feeling this way. Did anybody else ever feel this way? And so those Facebook groups are really helpful for them throughout. So at Match, they then get out into those groups and participate there. Very nice. And then we have local meetups in different areas around the country. Most of our coordinators host two or three a year. And so we just kind of send out an invitation like, here we are.
00:20:11
Speaker
Um, and anytime an attentive parent is local to one of our coordinators, we love to grab coffee. Um, just one of our coordinators in Houston did that last week. And she, I was in a meeting with her. She was like, it was just the highlight of my, and that person was postpartum. She was like eight, eight, 10 weeks postpartum that mom was, and she was just like, I would love to connect and they went to coffee and that fills our cup to, um, yeah getting into that face to face time.
00:20:39
Speaker
That's awesome. Well, it's so helpful to like be there in all the different ways.
Getting Started with the Agency
00:20:43
Speaker
And, um, I know that people will be in very good hands when working with you, no matter what person's coming to you, parents, surrogates. It's it's a really nice setup that you have. You can tell you care so much about it. And, um, you know, I just wanted to share with our listeners, what is the best way to reach end donor and circuit solutions and who should they contact for kind of like that initial intake?
Engaging with the Podcast Community
00:21:04
Speaker
I was encouraged people to visit our website, create a happy family.com from there. Um, it'll get you to the right place on whatever you're looking for. A parent needed an egg donor or a surrogate or both and a donor or surrogate. It'll get you to the right place. Um, but then they can fill out an intake form, um, if they'd like, or give us a call.
00:21:26
Speaker
We are accessible via social media as well. And so um our handles on Instagram and TikTok or our Create a Happy Family on Facebook. We are a donor and Panda spelled out surrogate solutions. um And then of course, I would encourage them, you mentioned it earlier, to just learn more and hear the inspiration inspirational stories on our me, you and who podcast. Very cute. I love it. Yeah.
00:21:55
Speaker
Yeah, well, Katie, thank you so much for joining us today and sharing about egg donor and surrogate solutions. I'm so happy to promote you know with the world about what you do and how you help. And for our listeners, we'll put some information in the show notes about how to contact Katie and her team. And thank you again so much for joining me today. Thank you, Barla. I really appreciate it. It was great talking with you. My pleasure. Thank you.
00:22:28
Speaker
Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Me, You and Who. We appreciate your time and hope you enjoyed our discussion today. As we wrap, we would like to remind you of some of the ways that you can stay connected with us and be part of the Me, You and Who podcast community. Firstly, if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite platform.
00:22:52
Speaker
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00:23:07
Speaker
Head over to YouTube and hit that subscribe button there as well. And don't forget to click the notification bell so you'll be the first to know when the new episodes go live and for more exclusive updates, engaging discussions, and a chance to connect with fellow listeners. Be sure to follow us on our social media accounts. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at create a happy family.
00:23:30
Speaker
If you're interested in finding out more about creating a happy family, please visit us at www.createahappiefamily.com. Thank you again for being part of the me, you and who community. Your support means the world to us. I can't wait for you to join us next time as we continue to share stories and journeys of creating happy families.