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Nonsensical Nonsense 369: Toaster bath bombs
67 Plays1 year ago
Conspiracies, shitty parents bad internet, bath time and toasters and another successful Open Door Challenge with a lot of crazy guests
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Bye!
Intro & Platform Promotions
00:04:35
Speaker
Welcome to the fucking show. Hey, y'all better look the fuck out today. My crayons are short. The box is full. My bottle of glue's topped off. My helmet's on tight, baby. We about to rizm with the tism. Let's get with it. Suck my dick and eat my asshole, you sons of bitches. What, baby?
00:05:12
Speaker
I was dancing and everything, man. Shit.
00:05:20
Speaker
I feel like our intro gets longer and longer every show. Well, we still have the promo video that I made that's two minutes, but I was like, yeah, that's not. I should probably just stop being so lazy and just create one video with all those clips in it.
00:05:40
Speaker
instead of having to hit the button for every one of them. That sounds like a lot of work. It's really not out at the end of the day. I mean, let's be honest, you know, I could throw one of those videos together with all the clips that I have in about 15 seconds. But nonetheless, let's put on everybody as Jarvis said enough.
00:06:01
Speaker
Shatter's box already there. Let's go baby. Welcome to nonsense. We're nonsense. Hopefully you guys are having a good weekend. You know what time it is. It is Saturday night. So we are live. We're actually live on Instagram too. I've been throwing this up on Instagram since Wednesday. There you guys see it in the Shatter's box. Jeffrey just dropped it. It started that. You know what that means? The door is open. It's the open door challenge. Lake is in the box. Hit that link. You are brave enough. Yes.
00:06:30
Speaker
all those who are crazy. Do you want to be an assist this week? No, I'm good. I'm good. I had my fill. You had your fill, huh? Yeah. So that's what you meant earlier when you said you cleaned out the backyard. Connor said he's at a birthday party, but he's actually here.
00:06:58
Speaker
Yeah, what are you going to do anyways? Welcome to that physical nonsense, everybody. We're ready to do what we can. It's Saturday night. If you guys aren't already, go ahead and check out them social medias, Facebook, Instagram.
00:07:11
Speaker
X and tick tock. Don't forget, we do do the show live every Wednesday and Saturday night on Facebook, YouTube and Twitch. If you miss us live or you can't watch the replay, go ahead and check us out wherever you listen to podcasts at, whether it be Spotify, Google, Apple Podcasts, Zendtester, any platform that podcasts are on where they are more than likely. You listen to us anytime. Let's. You have a lot of static.
00:07:42
Speaker
Move your mics a little bit closer to you. That's better. That's better. There we go. Watch us anytime, anyplace, or listen to us anytime, anyplace, wherever you listen to podcasts at, or simply run on over to bio.link slash nonsensical nonsense. All the social media links are there.
00:08:10
Speaker
including links to our sponsors, like Liquid IV, your hydration destination. Better hydration today at liquidiv.com.
Sponsor Shoutouts & Weekly Schedule
00:08:23
Speaker
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00:08:40
Speaker
Head on over there. Use our promo code words are hard at checkout. And last but not least, for our podcaster, broadcaster, and streamer friends, you can check out zencaster.com. All year, all in one, broadcasting, streaming, and podcasting location. Zencaster.com slash pricing. Use promo code words are hard. 30% off your first month's date plan. Give it a try. I'm sure you'll like it. And the goal is to get ears and eyes on everything
00:09:09
Speaker
You do. Um, speaking of nonsense, what nonsense and the, the bio link and everything, when you're on the social media is feel free to check out all the other shows. Monday nights is men caring for men. It is a men's mental health show all about men, all about mental health and, uh, and all that fun jazz Tuesday nights. If Jeff ever brings it back is every, every other day, we're going to do it every other Tuesday.
00:09:38
Speaker
every other day, whenever that may be. Dollars and cents, business podcast. Wednesday nights is not sensible. Nonsense. Thursday nights we take the night off because our guys are doing talking shit. You can find them on YouTube and Facebook. Talking shit. Shit is spelled S-H-T-T-T. Tree T's. Trey T's, if you will.
00:10:02
Speaker
You know, my ADHD break, it goes nuts every time you mention that. It's three T's and there's no I. What the fuck? That's not shit. Exactly. And don't forget, Thursday afternoon, you could listen to radio, or sorry, let you show Helen's mixtape on Radio 365. That gets new episodes every Wednesday, our time, 3 p.m., her time, 8 p.m., 4 p.m., something like that. One of those.
00:10:32
Speaker
And in late nights on Thursday night, you guys can hang out. Listen to Ted Hicks late night parent with his crew. And then we are back again every other Friday. I'm back with clicks house of music. And then Saturdays is nonsense. Well, nonsense, what we're doing tonight with the open door challenge, where we dropped the link in the chat.
00:10:52
Speaker
And we challenge you guys to join us, come up and hang out with us for a little bit, whatever the case may be. And then Sundays is a day of rest. And then in the mornings, if you're up right in early Monday, Wednesday, Friday, don't forget you can hang out with the fireman, Rich, on Twitch, doing his good morning and coffee thing. You can get your today and news 100 years ago today. I think it's something like that. Today in history. Anywho.
00:11:18
Speaker
Not only is our musical insurance getting longer, but I feel like my actual insurance. Yeah, you know what? I mean, we are nine, 10 minutes in as of right now.
00:11:30
Speaker
that's that's uh and and what the songs are almost two minutes a piece. Oh, also and also don't forget on Sundays, our guy Jarvis, the Jarvis podcast, he drops new episodes on Sundays typically and on Friday nights, he's live on Twitch, Jarvis Demon playing Visio games. Yeah. I was in there last night messing messing with him. Give him a hard time in the chat on the well, you know, I'm kind of upset Connor's not here cuz I have the perfect joke.
00:12:02
Speaker
You know what the difference between a vending machine and Connor? What is that? When you hit the coin return on the vending machine, it doesn't part. Like to say that for next time this year. I was like, you know, I was like, yeah, back off. Yeah, I think your cable.
00:12:29
Speaker
That's hooking your mic is because it gets this weird static and it was fine a minute ago And then I said it went bad again, and I think it's your cable See that's so much better as Nikki cackles in the background Yeah, it's so much better It was driving me nuts Put some hair around it
00:12:59
Speaker
the right
00:13:29
Speaker
happened in Cuyahoga County, which I just found out. So this woman in Ohio decides she's going to go on vacation with her boyfriend. And she goes for 10 days. Take a guess what she left behind. I got to be 100% honest with you, I was little.
00:13:58
Speaker
So as I was saying, this woman goes on vacation for 10 days with her boyfriend. Yeah, it is.
Shocking News Story Discussion
00:14:05
Speaker
Yeah, no more static. So she goes on vacation for 10 days with her boyfriend. Yeah. So she goes on vacation for 10 days and with her boyfriend. And what does she leave behind, Chris? Take a guess. You are not a baby. Actually, yes, a two year old.
00:14:27
Speaker
by itself she left her two-year-old by itself in a crib for 10 days while she went off on vacation and she just got sentenced to life imprisonment she got life in prison for that yeah 10 days she came back the baby was in its own shit and piss surprised it wasn't dead first of all you realize you will
00:14:55
Speaker
I didn't know it was dead. It's all about the looks. Terrible.
00:15:18
Speaker
Like I said, my wife brought in my attention. She's like, what the fuck is wrong with Ohio? I was like, well, there's a start. Well, yeah, you know, yeah, I would like to blame it on Ohio. But unfortunately, it's just it's it's a fucking world we live in today, man. People people are so goddamn self entitled and think that nobody matters but them. And then you got these and that's what I said, man.
00:15:46
Speaker
I've said it a million times. When I become president, the first law that goes into effect is you're sterilized at birth. And then you're not allowed to reproduce or anything like that until you pass a psyche test and a fucking IQ test. But you can't do that until you're at least 28. Yeah, because Jesus.
00:16:15
Speaker
There's too many people out here having babies that shouldn't be. I mean, if I'd have been the cop to show up to pick that bitch up, she would have never made it to court. I'd have shot her on site. Right? Yeah, maybe say it and everything. And it's like that guy that shot the guy that
00:16:42
Speaker
Tried to break into his house to shot him and then was hiding in the cops. Like, you don't have to hide, dude. You did nothing wrong. Well, you know, not only yet, but that's dude, that's, I would be welcomed as a hero. That is 10 days of straight up suffering. Oh, horrible way. Could you imagine as an adult happened to go out like that? Let alone, you know, a poor little baby who has no idea what's going on. What happened? Why mom left where mom is. I mean, Jesus.
00:17:12
Speaker
yeah just just the amounts of you know of fear and terror and everything else and yeah just not knowing how to way to bring the showdown right at the beginning i know it's it's a terrible thing but it was like it had to be brought out because jesus i just i what what goes through your mind you think that's going to be okay exactly even 10 minutes is like yeah yeah
00:17:39
Speaker
10 minutes. I'm like, do I really want to go get the mail? Yeah. Start start trial on, uh, on Instagram said that, um, uh, she left bottles behind for the baby. Like, like a baby could fuck the feet itself. Postpartum depression is, is, is a crazy thing. Um, she's talking about that. She had her son, she said she had her son at 18 and he's 30.
00:18:07
Speaker
Now, I mean, that's it. That's it. It's a real thing. And it's a terrible thing because sometimes not all women, obviously, but there are some women out there that deal with postpartum. I do some horrendously terrible shit to their kids, man. I get I know I totally understand the whole postpartum thing, but to leave for more than 20 minutes is is wrong.
00:18:36
Speaker
Yeah, they're really not. I mean, that's, you know, it's like that. And, you know, I've always been, I'm pro capital punishment and I'm pro, bring back, bring back the firing squads, bring back, you know, public hanging stone. You know what? I think the punishment should fit the crime. I think they should lock her room for 10 days with a couple of bottles and say, OK, blast. You can't change. No bucket to shit in.
00:19:06
Speaker
You know, good luck. Well, as we all know, and I don't want to speak for any other country, but in America, when you go into prison and if you've done something to a child, you are automatically number one target. Oh yeah. You're not going to be able to be protected. They're going to give you. Even though she's a woman, when she gets in the woman's prison, you know, there's a couple of women in there missing their kids.
00:19:35
Speaker
And they're going to fuck her up. And I bet you there's, there's, there's, you know, chicks just lining up. Like I want to, I want to be the first stab. You know, how hard is it to be like, you know, okay, I get it. You wanted to go on vacation.
00:20:01
Speaker
Why you can't take your two-year-old? OK, I understand the baby's two. Grandmother, daycare, drop the kid off a fire station at the very least. At the very minimum, you could drop the kid off a fire station. Yes. I mean, I'm not condoning leaving your kid at a fire station, but considering the alternative? That's what starts outside the line.
00:20:30
Speaker
and she fought through it. Uh and her and her son is an engineer for Microsoft. Hell yeah. Big ups to to your son. Big ups to you. Uh and oldest or uh twenty-seven and daughter's twenty-two. Just **** just people. Shut the **** off. Yeah. Start all just that I'm an ex-fel and they're gonna if they don't segregate her, they're gonna **** her up. No, exactly. Like like there's there's there's there's places out there to help.
00:21:00
Speaker
and a lot of the help is free too. At the end of the day, you know, you can, you can get counseling. You, you can, you know, they can, they can set you up with, with, uh, you know, people that can come in the house and help you and shit like that. And, and a lot of it, like I said, a lot of it is free. It's, you know what I mean? So there's, it's just, I mean, this is what
Debate on Parental Responsibility
00:21:24
Speaker
I said, man. These, these, these young people these days that are, that are having babies and shit like that.
00:21:29
Speaker
Uh, and they just, they just shouldn't be doing it. And I know it sound like a scumbag for saying sterilized at birth. And you got to be at least, at least a minimum of 25 before you can think about having kids, but you got to pass a mental test and a psychological evaluation and a, and a, and an IQ test before you not, and it's not a permanent sterilization. I don't want to know. And I get, no, I get that. But what I'm saying is like, how old were you when you had your first kid? I was 24. Yeah. And I was, I was.
00:21:59
Speaker
well into my 30s. I actually know I was in my mid 20s. So, you know, and even then it was like, you know, it's time to stuff the fuck up. You know, if you don't wrap it, well, then you can deal with the package and
00:22:19
Speaker
Not only that, but not only that, but there's, there's, you know, and I just seen this to piggyback off what star file said. And what lady said, you know, get help, give the baby somebody else. We have places here in the state, and I don't, again, I don't know how it is in other countries, but we have places here in the States.
00:22:37
Speaker
where you can drop the baby off, no questions asked. Well, the firehouse, the firehouses have that little door where you can put the baby in and close the door. It's like the return box. You just open the thing, drop the baby into the door and walk away. It's like a table turn. There's, you know, there's options. It's just people
00:23:03
Speaker
I'm saying people, you know, men and women, you know, in this newer generation, they don't give a shit about anybody but them fucking selves. Yeah. So they have no self-awareness and they're so goddamn entitled that they think the world fucking revolves around them or the world fucking all owes them something. And at the end of the day, it's the babies and the children that are that are fucking suffer and they're going on about their fucking lives like nothing.
00:23:29
Speaker
the worst thing is is this woman did not cry until they sentenced her after she got the life sentence then she cried bitch you should have been crying since you got old a you shouldn't have left in the first place and we're sterilizing both sexes that way there's no accidents or no immaculate conception or anything you're making it about the men maybe we'll just sterilize the women yeah
00:23:58
Speaker
just be safe everybody across the board at birth i'm sure there's doctors out there that can find a way to do it and it can be reversed yeah like like they do with the old Ben Affleck in that in that movie where they erase his memory it's just a it's a blocker and it's just a new vaccine that all babies get remember and then do whatever i want
00:24:25
Speaker
Yeah, but, you know, how much better would the world be? You can't afford to get the surgery. You can't afford to have a baby. Period. See that the neighbors should have done something too. The star child just said that the neighbors had the babies scream on the ring camera. And they did nothing? It's the neighbors fault. But if I'm a neighbor and I hear a baby screaming and crying for more than an hour. I'm calling somebody and be like, hey, can we get a wellness check over here?
00:24:55
Speaker
Or let alone it's going on for days on it. That's why I said, you know, if it felt like that were going to happen, I'm sure there's doctors and scientists out there that could come up with a concoction that could be reversible or something as simple as a vaccine or something like that. Yeah. It's probably already out there. Let's be honest. Like a timed out. It times out at a certain age. Yeah. Oh, God. Shauna just like left on chat. Yeah. I just I.
00:25:23
Speaker
I mean, I missed all their eggs. If they pass everything, I don't know. I just, if I was the neighbor, I'd have bust down the door. Yeah. No, that's, that's what I'm saying. Like, you know, I'm not trying to put this on the neighbors or anything like that. And I understand a lot. And I get it. You don't want to be nosy neighbor.
00:25:52
Speaker
I can't. Not my backyard type. Nobody wants to. And that's the other problem we have. I watched a video the other day, since we're going down this road and we're just starting the show. I watched a video the other day. I came across it as I was scrolling through shorts on YouTube. And it was this old man on the subway in New York. Some jackass walked up.
00:26:22
Speaker
and rock this old man for no reason. The old man fell on the concrete, cracked his head open. You just see the blood just pouring out everywhere, laying there dying.
Societal Apathy & Information Accessibility
00:26:32
Speaker
Nobody's helping. You know what they're doing? They all got their goddamn cell phones out, video, and making jokes and laughing about it. His feet are hanging over. Yeah, his feet are hanging over there.
00:26:40
Speaker
the site so when the train it's literally dragging across his feet and when the train came to arrest his feet were propped up against the train and I'm like what the hell happened here so I had to do some because this is me I don't just watch something and go well you know this is done and I wanted to dig into it find out and apparently the old man was standing there waiting for the train
00:27:02
Speaker
And some young kid, younger person came up and said something to him. The old man said something back. And then the kid hit him and knocked him out and went and he bounced his head off the concrete and split it like a fucking egg. And he's laying there dying. He had somebody's husband, somebody's father, somebody's grandfather, somebody's brother. And people just walked away making jokes and shit like that. Like that shit don't make like that's just the society we live in today. You know,
00:27:30
Speaker
And that's what I'm saying. Like for me, if I hear a baby next door crying for more than an hour or two, I want to be like, Hey, I'm gonna go knock on the door and be like, Hey, is everything cool? I don't want to be that guy, but I got a baby that's been crying for two days next door. And it's like that video I told you about the cops who found that little, that little three or four year old, um, that weighed like 16 pounds.
00:27:53
Speaker
Locked up in her you know what went in that house that the neighbors had called for a wellness check the house was fucking disgusting this poor little thing was laying on a bed that was covered in piss and shit and bugs and she had bug bites all over and You know thankfully they were able to save her life, but these cops went in there man, and they were visibly Shaken shaken like work
00:28:19
Speaker
And then they, you know, they still got their body cameras on and they're outside after the paramedics get there. A couple of the cops were actually, uh, you know, uh, consoling this other cop because he was, he was a mess man. He was falling his eyes out. He was, you know, he was like borderline hyperventilating because three babies at home, not much older than her. Like, and I can never imagine my wife or myself doing something like this to them.
00:28:47
Speaker
Yeah, it was fucking it was fucking heartbreaking, man. Yeah. Well, yeah. And yeah, the woman in Minnesota. Well, there's there's always some like there was a couple a couple of years ago and this is back when in high school there. There were women dumping their babies into dumpsters. Mm hmm. Shit like that. And it's like, God damn, dude. What the fuck is wrong with you? I mean, we live in the world of the Internet where you can literally how do I get rid of a baby health of it?
00:29:17
Speaker
you know, where can I drop? I mean, if you put in if you go on to Google right now and say restaurant near me, you'll get 400,000 notifications and stuff. Yeah, you can't do that for safe baby drop. I'm sure you're good. Oh,
00:29:41
Speaker
I hope I would never wish anything bad on anybody except people like that. I hope they all get stabbed in their fucking eyeball and live and then have to deal with it. And every time they go to blink, somebody stabs them again. It's heartbreaking. Anyways, back to the dick and fart jokes.
00:30:10
Speaker
She swiped left on Chad. Who knows Chad? Aaron's boys away from the hotel thing we served. Ew, gross. That guy was such a tool and put off the biggest rapey vibes I've ever seen. Yeah, that's what I said. That's why I had to go to the goddamn bookstore, because she didn't want to be alone with them. I was like, well, maybe not bring a random stranger over the bar.
00:30:40
Speaker
as as a person has woken up next to the creature of the Blue Lagoon. Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it. It wasn't a bad look. It wasn't like it wasn't like he was a bad looking guy or anything like that. He's just just weird. Just crazy. Yeah, just crazy. No, not really. Just he was like, like, like I want to be a frat bro, so I'm going to do things that frat bros do, even though I can't be a frat bro type dude. Oh, yeah.
00:31:10
Speaker
I don't know. It was extra special. I don't get people like that. Adopt a personality already. Come on. Why don't you go to hell? You know where the link is. Bring your bitch ass up here and say it to my face.
00:31:30
Speaker
Sanitation. I feel like I really fought the urge just so you know, Jeff, I feel like after Wednesday night, Jeff was like, I'm going to send Blick into a rant right at the beginning of the show. And I was really fighting. I was really fighting it. I was on the border line and just went full on fucking rant about these bags of this generation that's out there today. Well, it's it's, you know,
00:31:59
Speaker
Unfortunately, it's only going to get worse. Well, yeah. People are just weird. I agree 100%. It's just going to get worse. The world as a whole is just so fucked up. Anytime you feel bad about your situation,
00:32:25
Speaker
And that's where anybody in general you can find something even more fucked up online So that's that's that was my uh You know how I like to fall into rabbit holes and oh, yeah on on youtube. My new one has been lately, uh weirdos and creeps from Tiktok and youtube
00:32:53
Speaker
and like some of these like big ass freaking these Tiktokers that have millions or YouTubers that have millions of followers and are making a fortune off of them and basically how big a scumbags they are. And the one thing that I noticed, and I said this Wednesday or Thursday night on the Men Care for Men show, the one thing that I've noticed, and this is the problem, again, with there being such a stigma on men's mental health and everything like that, every time one of these assholes get in trouble,
00:33:23
Speaker
Or they start losing followers. They go, I suffer from depression and anxiety and schizophrenia and bipolar. And it's just been a real struggle my whole life. And that's why I do the things I do. And I'm like, I ain't got nothing fucking wrong with you. You're just a fucking scumbag. I actually fell into a rabbit hole on this chick the other day. So she gets, because she's got a TikTok channel.
00:33:51
Speaker
And she claims he claims to have Tourette's. But she's got a separate tick tock channel where she sells like vegan yarn or some shit like that. And your anti. Oh, well, I guess it's made out of. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. But so she's but she shows no signs of her Tourette's on her other channel. I know I'm no expert, but I thought yarn was cotton and like polyester.
00:34:21
Speaker
Can be I get well that would be the vegan yarn So that's just normal yarn. Well wool was yarn. I said I don't know all I know is this bitch has got this vegan yarn store, right and But she shows no sign of Tourette's on her vegan yarn channel, but her Tourette's channel She's got her ticks and all this stuff, right? Well, that's this there's a whole reddit channel
00:34:48
Speaker
group trying to find out if this bitch actually has Tourette's or not. I'm not highlighting that comment, Mark. I'm going to go ahead and delete that and put you in timeout, Mark. But it turns out that after months of this chick, I actually have Tourette's and then she's got Huntington's disease or something like that.
00:35:12
Speaker
And they actually get her mom involved in her sister and they're like, well, she doesn't have Tourette's. She doesn't have this hunting and disease. Well, they eventually call her out enough where she deletes everything and then start the new one and then apologizes. And then I was just informed on Instagram. I was just informed on Instagram. Kimmy said that wool, acrylic and cotton. So here we go.
00:35:39
Speaker
I thought it was like cotton and polyester or something like that. Well, cotton and polyester would be vegan, would it not? That'd be the vegan version. I'm going to stab you in your eye.
00:35:52
Speaker
Stop sticking up and making these people valid. Stop validating these guys. I was going to say it's like that girl that did that. Remember that chick that did that, that song that, well, I guess you could call it. Well, you know what, with today's rap, it was a hundred percent rap, where she did that period song. Have you ever heard that? Well, I started making TikTok videos and she talked like she was like, like she had special needs. You know what she was like making too much.
00:36:21
Speaker
I'm going to do my makeup today and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Turns out she got caught on a live just talking perfectly normal, like nothing was wrong. And then everybody freaking just called her out. This is like, but it was, she'd already made her money. Yeah. Well, you know, but, but it's like, you know, people, people like that, they actually get these GoFundMe's
00:36:47
Speaker
You know, for some God knows what reason and like there's a lady she got a go fund me for for something I can't remember was and she had all this sympathy and people and it turns out everything she had done Was a complete lie. Fuck you mark. I You're not wrong about your sociopaths and narcissism narcissists. Yeah Like like we're all everybody and I'm gonna say this in general. Everybody's a bit of a narcissist
00:37:16
Speaker
But then there's people that take it to the extreme. Oh, what? What do you call yourself? What do you call yourself? Go ahead. I prefer the term egomaniac. Yeah, same difference semantics. I don't call myself. Oh, my God, that fucking belt. Good God. Good God likes Luger. Put your belt away. The proof is in the pudding.
00:37:43
Speaker
I will see you guys with belts, therefore you're not a champ. I'm the champ. I don't need a belt. I got something better than a belt. I got my book. Fucking nerd. A book? Fuck. Hey, it's not being a nerd if it's a picture book, okay? Nerd. You're a fucking nerd. Nerd. You're a fucking nerd. No one likes you.
00:38:16
Speaker
I Do agree with I do agree that like II that everybody does have an ego well, everybody has a Even that even somebody like Mother Teresa, I'm sure at one point was like it should be about me You know Narcissists are two different things Yeah, but we're all
00:38:43
Speaker
born that way where it's like, okay, read yourself first kind of thing. And I get that, but some people take it with way too extreme. I'd like to see somebody try Marcus. Let me call Connor McGregor. Yeah, but he plays it so well.
00:39:14
Speaker
He's a likable narcissist, though. I don't think he's likable at all. Oh, my God. He's cocky. He's cocky and he's arrogant. But, you know, when he was had that swag when he was a fighter, he got and he got in the octagon and he backed it up. Right. You know, it's not the same way.
00:39:37
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you, Mark. I wasn't going to say it. I wasn't going to say it, but God damn it. He is the best part of that movie. Oh, okay. It's not the same as if like, let's say, I don't know. According to you guys, if there's a podcast host and his one night 29 championships and declares himself the champion, when you guys say that I have an ego, I just say I'm spitting facts.
00:40:06
Speaker
There's nobody's a better champion than I am. I have more championships than any. Someone literally does need to beat him for that fucking belt. You know what? I will do it. Hold on. I have to agree with how much it costs to hire Mike Tyson. How much will it cost to hire Mike Tyson? Jeff, that is a great idea. I'm sure he could use the money.
00:40:32
Speaker
Well, I mean, you know, after that Jake, Jake, did it happen? No, it's on it. When's it happening? Yeah, there's a lot. I guarantee this is going to be the fight. Tyson's going to land some punches that are going to be heavily fucking like that. Blow Jake.
00:41:00
Speaker
Yeah, it's pretty much going to be every other Jake Paul match that he's had. However, however, that being said, that that being said, everybody's if you are able to bet on this fight, everybody's going to put their money on Jake Paul and then Tyson's going to knock him the fuck out and everybody's going to lose. He does. I hope he does. If you're in Pittsburgh, they went to the casino and turn him into a vegetable.
00:41:29
Speaker
Hey, you know what? Not that boxing is worth it anymore.
00:41:37
Speaker
Well, yeah, unfortunately, boxing's kind of gone downhill and it's all about the
Impact of Legalized Sports Betting
00:41:41
Speaker
money, man. I know I'm watching most are now. That's the sad thing. Legitimacy in sports now has gone downhill when you can just bet on shit. The last Boy Scout pretty much had it best. So all sports are not legitimate. I mean, because you could literally go on the draft game sportsbook that you could. Well, that's what I'm saying. You could bet on fucking table tennis. That's all you can bet on anything. Yes.
00:42:09
Speaker
Yeah, but the difference between like betting on football and betting on a boxing match, it's really easy for a single person to take a dive than it is a whole team. I mean, the Chicago Black Sox in the World Series back in the day. Yeah, but I mean, if you pay off a quarterback, that's kind of a. I totally understand what you're saying, but I still think you'll make
00:42:37
Speaker
I still think Neil O'Donnell got paid off in that Super Bowl against the Cowboys. I mean, he's throwing to like the same pass. And yet. There's only one player there, and it's a Dallas Cowboy. And he's like, oh, I was just going to read. No, I.
00:43:02
Speaker
speaking of records, Jeffrey, to put it in terms for you to understand, look at the kicker from the replacements. Oh, yeah, Nigel.
00:43:17
Speaker
Yeah. It's a football team or a baseball team. You could pay off one guy. I mean, that'd be like, for instance, for the New York Yankees, they're like, they're big dog right now. And he's a big dog is, is, is judge the kids like seven foot tall and just cranks homers, like out of boredom. And he's a phenomenal ball player. Aaron judge still plays. Yeah. I think he just signed a nice new contract with the Yankees either last year or this year.
00:43:47
Speaker
Yeah, I guess it's true. He could start whipping if he wanted to. Well, you know where we'll be. So yeah, that's what I'm saying. So you could easily pay off. I guess that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. Was it last year? I thought I knew it was just recently. Yeah. He signed it. He got a big payday. Well, that's like Shay Otoni's translator just got
00:44:16
Speaker
I fucking hate saying his name. Shit. Otoni is his last name. There, I'll go with that one. His translator just got fucking fired because of gambling issues. He was stealing from the Dodgers? And like, I think it was like 4.6 million.
00:44:41
Speaker
But, but that's the thing. And now you, you know, you've got sports betting is, is all over the place. I mean, you can literally do it in stadiums. There's like 400 apps. Every time you download a game, there's a. But, but not only that, I mean, the biggest, the biggest gambling city in the whole freaking world, Las Vegas, uh, they, they have a professional team. They have a baseball team.
00:45:08
Speaker
Oakland A's baseball might be moving to Vegas and they want to back. They want to read. They want to bring back the Seattle Supersonics, but in Vegas. I don't think that will work. Nobody wants to move to Vegas. So they want to do an expensive team. If you're going to have a basketball team called the Seattle Supersonics,
00:45:37
Speaker
I mean, they've, they've said it, they want it to be the Vegas supersonics, but they, they want to put the team in Seattle and then move them to Vegas. They want, they basically, what it sounds like is by the rights to the team.
00:45:54
Speaker
Okay. And then like the Vegas supersonic. So you're bringing the supersonics back, but you're not bringing them back. But they, like when the Cleveland Browns came back to Cleveland. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. No, cause the actual Browns went to Baltimore, like Indianapolis, they were originally Baltimore now. So actually starting a team, all are, you know, they, they can buy the rights that already exist for our team. Right.
00:46:25
Speaker
No, and but I don't see I I understand not wanting to live in Vegas as a player because temptation but Other than that, I don't see a problem with having a team in Vegas Mark get your ass in here. We need we need these statistics, buddy. Oh Shit
00:47:05
Speaker
Actually there is other news a record a world record was broken this past weekend Fastest dragster in the world
00:47:20
Speaker
in quarter mile, 341 miles an hour. Yeah, Chris's Honda Civic can do that. Now the champ's going to be like, I run faster than that when I train. On what? 2,200 horsepower.
00:47:50
Speaker
I don't remember the time was but he did break the record of 341 miles an hour. Originally it was 339. We don't care the number of times a belt is held in this pod in a podcast. That would be the worst record to ever have and it would probably be Glick.
00:48:19
Speaker
Yeah, don't. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't give him a big hit. Yeah, I see. Oh, he's got one. Damn guy. He's already got one. Doesn't learn. This is like his four hundredth episode that he's been on, but
Recurring Guest & Hotel Humor
00:48:34
Speaker
he doesn't learn. Right. Don't go. Four hundred episode. Try again there, buddy. It's like probably been like my fifth. Buy them books and buy them books this week. All they did. No, not this week.
00:48:48
Speaker
You you're on here all the time. Don't tell ya. It's more than your fifth check. I was gonna say jesus fifth I was gonna say I'm even on here more than I have I'd say you've been on here at least 15 times How many Chris what would you say the over-under is on how many times Jarvis has been on this show
00:49:15
Speaker
Uh, has he been on more than once? Shut up, Glick. Well, I mean, on point, no, but I see where you're going with that. Okay. We love you, Jarvis. Hell, they make fun of me just as bad. Don't worry. I didn't hear the conversation. He said he, I, I don't remember what he said, but
00:49:45
Speaker
I said you've only been here like 400 fucking times, and he's like maybe like five I was like really five I think it's a lot more than plus Glick said get your ass in here, so I got my ass in here Well if that was if Not that I was doing anything important to anything Glick says and actually do it I
00:50:08
Speaker
You're in trouble. You're fine. Yeah, that is kind of true. If that's your modicum of what you do every day, I will tell Chris to tell you a lot of things. Right? I can think about 50 right now. Chris, don't harvest. Jump off a fucking bridge. He'll fucking do it. I was going to say, if Glick said jump off a bridge, would you jump off a bridge because Glick said to do it? I mean, I had enough water under it, obviously.
00:50:38
Speaker
I mean, he literally says at the end of each episode, what would nonsensical nonsense do? Now do the opposite. And what do you do? Nope, I didn't hear that last part. Do what we would do. But I would say you've been here 15, 20 times. Yeah, you've definitely been on the show way more than five times, Travis. Yeah. You've been on every episode of Men Can for Men and we've done like nine of them. Yeah, see?
00:51:10
Speaker
like three times. Oh well, I mean that's only three times. It's not. It's not my fault that Jeff sometimes gets his panties on a bunch and then Connor with the hard ER decides to go. Congratulations. Finally.
00:51:33
Speaker
Yeah. Only took me like 20 episodes to get it right. I was going to say you probably, you probably definitely been on here. Yeah. I've been, I've been on here at least 10, 12. Are they going to the bar? There's a bar downstairs. I don't know. It's only freaking open until like 11.
00:52:01
Speaker
Well, at least they got some catching up to do then. Well, what time is it there, Glick? Eight o'clock. I mean, I can I can drink a lot of liquor in a couple hours. Do I? Well, the bar's supposed to open at five and close at two, but the bartender in there, if she's not, if she doesn't feel like being here, she'll leave at eleven.
00:52:28
Speaker
Also, it's a bar hotel. It's not a very big area.
00:52:37
Speaker
So they're probably not super busy. I don't know how, but the outside of the hotel is very deceiving to what the inside looks like. The outside looks like, uh, looks like something from a horror movie a little bit. Nice. But if you walked in and you walk in and it's a big, beautiful hotel, I mean, it's a shame, but the pool's closed for, they're going renovations. But, um, all the, all the, all the rooms have doors that open up to a patio balcony. Okay. The pool's right there.
00:53:07
Speaker
Nice. Oh, I'm like, man, that would have been nice. I can open the door. I mean, if they didn't have the shit brown curtains, it would make it a lot better. But other than that, you're, you're going to do. Well, the whole idea of a hotel room is the place to leave your shit. Let's be honest. Yeah. And that's like the thing, like, you know, a lot of times when Nikki and I come into town to get a hotel, it's literally like we just come in, you know, two or three in the morning, drunk as hell and pass out. And then we get up.
00:53:36
Speaker
Check out the morning. Apparently K-mag is like, this is a nice hotel. I'm not gonna leave the room. This is my vacation. I'm just gonna sit in this room. Dude, I hate people. I'm like, look at me. I'm in a fucking robe and I haven't worked all day today. All right. I haven't left my house. I called you to leave me food. I went to the store.
00:54:00
Speaker
That counts. He was like, well, I did plan on spending my entire vacation here, but the fucking curtains are brown. I guess I'll sit out in the balcony now motherfuckers.
00:54:14
Speaker
I'm rating zero stars. I don't want to hear no shit if you see my... Brown curtains. Why did you rate this hotel zero stars? Brown, shit stains, curtains. They're only shit stains because he couldn't find toilet paper. I did the poop water on the fucking balcony door curtain.
00:54:40
Speaker
Okay then, so Glick came back. Jeff, how are you guys' weeks? They have blackout curtains so that no sunlight gets in. And I can sit in my room and look like I'm doing nefarious things online. Very mischievous. Hey, Mac, it does look like a guy that spends all his time on the dark web. Which I'm...
00:55:08
Speaker
Has anyone of you guys actually tried to go down to the dark web? No. What is the number of times the belt is held in one podcast? Well, there's not really a number. Too fucking many. Too many. I just wear it the whole show. Yeah. Maybe you people with your questions, Alyssa, should try to be a champion and not be a leader. Wow.
00:55:34
Speaker
But these other three guys in the panel. Well, the difference between you and me is I don't actually have to show off my accomplishments aspire to be better.
00:55:49
Speaker
I don't have to. Where I was being better means you're not going to get paid anymore, and they're going to expect a lot more. So, fuck's fire to be better. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Who the fuck's getting paid? Yeah, exactly. It's like, what? You guys are getting paid for this shit? Fuck! Oh, I didn't hear him talking about the belt. I'm changing my closing line to WWGD.
00:56:16
Speaker
If you have to ask yourself, then you must be better. What wouldn't Glick do?
00:56:28
Speaker
Yeah, believe it or not between the two of us he's the better one Because there's a lot of things I'm like hey Chris I got out of here he's like really dude Become the voice of reason and the conscience of the two of us
00:56:53
Speaker
One of us would go, hey, I have, and he'd be like, I mean, I don't even want to hear the rest of it. Let's go. Who's driving? It's like, I got beer and keys. Fuck it. We're rolling. He used to be the, the, the, he used to be the Jeremy Renner to my Ben Affleck. Whose car are we going to take? Now he's like, I don't know. I don't know.
00:57:19
Speaker
Man, we're in our 40s. Then I got it. Then I got to hit him with the Deebo somebody bitch. Come on. I don't know, man. We're in our 40s. We got kids. We got jobs. They're still planning on making another Friday movie now. I did. I didn't hear something about that. Even though is gone. The dad is gone. Yeah. And I think even the main
00:57:48
Speaker
original director of it is dead now. I don't know. Uh, actually they just, they just announced a, a green lit happy Gilmore too. Yes. I don't know what they're going to do with it. I used to, I used to, uh, I used to bring the belt with me every weekend, Alyssa. And then last time I was here, these assholes were making fun of me because I didn't have the belt side threw it in the car.
00:58:31
Speaker
This is the belt that if it gets stolen don't worry everyone I got a spare at home
00:58:37
Speaker
My wife lost the remote the other day and she's like, where's the remote? And I was like, I don't know. Somebody broke in and stole it. I said, wait, wait. They walked past my laptop. They walked past the TV. They came in and just stole the remote. Oh, wait, here it is.
00:58:54
Speaker
So that's what's going to happen to Chris. They're going to walk in, steal just the belt. Yeah. Yeah. Walk past all the other expensive shit. Look, a belt. Fuck it. We're taking it. And then I'll probably get a thousand dollars for this. Wait, Chris, tell Jarvis to come over and steal your belt because he'll do it. Apparently. I'm going to say my my belt gets stolen and then I turn into and then I turn into taking. I don't know who you are.
00:59:25
Speaker
But I got a particular set of skills. The only apple product Chris ever buys is those fucking apple air tags. In the first place, he puts those in fucking belts. He's like, why did you buy four air tags? Because I need to protect my belts.
00:59:46
Speaker
She's like we got we got more expensive. Nope. Nope. Got to correct the belt Sitting there like in the middle of the fucking night at like middle in the morning at like 3 o'clock in the morning putting the fucking Nikki's like what are you doing?
01:00:09
Speaker
Jeff's like the guy from Close Encounters of the Third Kind that's like, it's important. Just leave me alone. I can just see you hollowing out the little bit of leather in between the metals.
01:00:27
Speaker
Nobody I got the goggles that come down With the only light on oh Yeah As well hey at least I look good and what's your point? Hey, what's what I don't know you said you don't
01:00:55
Speaker
Yes, sitting in the dark with one light giggling to myself. It's not even a light. It's the fucking sun coming through the window because that curtain sucks dick. Don't worry. In about an hour and a half, Jarvis will be sitting in the dark, too. No, I'll turn on one of my lights.
01:01:21
Speaker
Much like in California Minnesota only has so much a lot of electricity You know when our politicians think of fucking healthy healthy ways of helping out the state Lights aren't one of them. You know the old lady at night has to go to fucking sleep eventually
01:01:49
Speaker
Yeah. The pedal bike only works so much during the day. Yeah. Well, you got to worry about that South Canada carbon tax, don't you? Yeah. I don't know. So here in Minnesota. You motherfuckers get all your fucking power from us anyway, cocksucker. Yeah. So here in Minnesota, their thing in order to help out our economy is they want to raise
01:02:22
Speaker
You know, anytime you start a soda sentence with here in Minnesota, I literally zone out because nobody cares about Minnesota. It's not even the people that live in Minnesota. It's so bad that like anytime you watch the news, they're like, well, Governor Walz decides like, oh, my fucking God, just die already.
01:02:46
Speaker
Whoa, I don't think he decided to do that. All right. Blick didn't tell him to, so he's not going to. Okay. No. Yeah, I didn't tell him to die yet. He told him to keep torment and Jarvis. So you bought the light off from one to the other. Other than lights. You don't have like fixtures that you can put. No, they're the only lights that are in this apartment. I shit you not.
01:03:16
Speaker
our bathroom, kitchen, and then the bedrooms. That's it. Yeah. Remind me never to go to Minnesota. And then if you barely use your energy bill,
01:03:32
Speaker
the the the
01:03:55
Speaker
track down the infamous jeff hawk where was he at minnesota what he said hashtag worth it really minnesota was worth it if you ever saw that if if jeff ever comes to minnesota and says hashtag worth it we need to get him psych triacs uh all i'm doing was all i'm doing in minnesota when i go is just installing light bulbs
01:04:22
Speaker
I got a life sentence for it. It's like, there's no light fixtures in the living room, but there's this weird glass dome thing, like right in the middle of the living room. I don't know what it is. It looks like a booby. So I just sit here and laugh at it and go, boobies. Jeff walks in, puts new light bulbs in it.
01:04:45
Speaker
Holy shit. Holy shit. Never knew that's what that did. Wait, you mean to tell me those boobies? Damn, I thought my room had double knees. Apparently they're double thirty, thirty watts. That is wild. I've lived in apartments like that, though, you know, like I never outlets or anything like that.
01:05:15
Speaker
Well, the outlet thing cracks me up. In this house, when we moved in, I kid you not, every 30 foot on the wall, on the one wall, there's four outlets. Every room in this house has like 12 outlets. It's ridiculous. But I've also had the opposite where I had an apartment that had three outlets in an entire fucking apartment.
01:05:42
Speaker
I've had zero. There's zero consistency. I'm like, you know, I'm all about saving a penny, but damn, boys. Hey, that's why they're a million dollar corporation. All right. They cut those words wherever they can. Exactly. Fuck those lights. We don't need that shit. They got a window for the daytime. Right. Get a candle, boy. Oh, no, I'm good.
01:06:13
Speaker
I don't see anything appealing about Minnesota. Everything I've heard. Hold on. So there's only one outlet in their apartment. They have no lights in the son of a bitch. And Jarvis lives there. I'm out. I feel like I would move by now. Yeah. I mean.
01:06:32
Speaker
Yeah, life goal move dude. Oh trust me. I'm I'm trying I'm I'm still in the process of getting my radio job. So I'm I'm trying. Amen to that Here's opening that one light. I just like I told my wife I was like if I have to move out of Minnesota, I'm fine with it because have to I
01:06:57
Speaker
Yeah, dude, that would be number one goal. Move the fuck out of Minnesota. Oh, I want to. It's just I want it not coming to the oil fields. You'll be all right. Come on. Oh, I wouldn't mind living in the Dakotas. I even told Dalton that I said I wouldn't mind South Dakota, motherfucker, not North Dakota's a shithole.
01:07:17
Speaker
Yeah, that is true. That is true. It sounds a little better. At least they got trees. That is true. That is true, K-Meg. The only thing Minnesota has going for it is it's not California.
01:07:32
Speaker
It might as fucking well be. I mean, I mean, we're trying. We're trying. We're desperately trying to fail miserably. California. Look at this fucking guy over here taking selfies of him with a beer can. Hey, look, everyone, my first beer. Here's to your mom came back.
01:07:59
Speaker
I bet she did. She's kind of a hoe like that, bro. She sent me a snap. She said, WYD. Do what? What was that, Glenn? I didn't hear what he said. She said, WYD. Your mom sent me a snap that said, WYD. What are you doing, Jeff? Trust me, it didn't stand well. Apparently, she's already hammered at 8 o'clock and she's drunk texting people.
01:08:29
Speaker
No, it wouldn't fucking surprise me at all with that woman. You laugh. I've seen that bitch drunk at eight o'clock in the fucking morning, homie. And I'm the one going for counseling. Hey, mom, isn't it eight o'clock? Shut up. It's five o'clock somewhere. No, it's eight o'clock in the morning. There's another one rolling around.
01:08:57
Speaker
A very good friend of mine Snapchat me and he got second place in his age group in some marathon that he did today. So I was snapping him back like, Hey, anybody that has a marathon gets a hell yeah for me because I won't walk on my gate. I mean, I can literally see your road. So if your gate's no further than your road, Jeff, but it is what? 25 houses away.
01:09:28
Speaker
What, the road? Yeah, the main gate. Oh. Oh. What are you doing? It's a gated community. Oh, OK. There's 65 houses in the community. So I guess the pyramid scheme that you were doing has paid off then, right? I've been living in this house since 2019 when I bought it. Yeah, I was going to say, he's been in Mexico for a while, even I fucking knew that. I've lived in Mexico for 20 years.
01:09:56
Speaker
You also have to remember Jarvis that he bought that house for three American dollars. So it's not like that is. Here's the crazy thing. Three American dollars is not off. It's 35 grand out the door. Nobody's ever lived in it. 35 grand out the door. Tax included. Come back Jeff. Come back to America where they build all these houses and then it's just like, you know what?
01:10:23
Speaker
Well, we'll we'll raise it so that no one could afford them and fucking just like no car Every house in here 35 grand out the door There it's two-bedroom one and a half bath You know kitchen living room. It's got a small backyard. Nothing's not very big but small backyard. It's not that bad, you know for I Don't know
01:10:51
Speaker
It's it's it's it's like a starter home. It's not something that like we're eventually going to move out. We're going to buy another house for the simple fact for people living in here can fit. But it's like there's always, you know, like our last house we rented and it had one bathroom. And there was always somebody in the fucking bathroom. Always. Every time you like, I'm going to take a shit. I'm in the bathroom. God damn it. I'm going to shit my pants.
01:11:20
Speaker
So, um, the only, the only problem I have with this house is the fact that I, I don't have space to build shit. Like I can't really expand. I can go up, but Chris is scared of the third floor. So that was in Ohio. You live in Cancun.
01:11:49
Speaker
Yeah, well, I'm gonna get you down here one way or another. I mean, when you kill Nikki one day, I'm going to have to build a third floor to put you in it. Who the fuck you say you got that reverse, Jeff? Nikki will kill him. That's awesome. I got to go to the third floor. Yeah, I was going to say it's still a third floor. You want to cut it.
01:12:11
Speaker
Also, my fear of heights does not matter if I'm inside of a fucking building because I have two buildings that are seven floors. No, no, no, no. The one that freaked me out. My friend, my friend, Sam.
01:12:28
Speaker
Cause I got a Sam that does, does the, Sam that does the dollars and says podcast with me. She lives on the 27th floor when she moved in, she sent me a video. She's like, check out my new apartment. And she went to the balcony and I was like, Oh no, I'm out. I'm done. I could, I was like, Oh, she's like, gets gorgeous. I was like, I'll take your fucking word for it. I'm not watching past that.
01:12:48
Speaker
Oh, I was gonna say, what would that be? 270 feet off the ground if it's 10 foot a room. Glick would look down and just be like, I wonder if I could spit on someone and kill him from here. Glick would go on that fucking balcony. That balcony freaks me out.
01:13:19
Speaker
She goes out she goes out on the balcony every morning and drinks a cup of coffee I'm like fuck that I wouldn't go out on that balcony if my hair was on fire
01:13:37
Speaker
Fucking Glick's just like fucking practicing just fucking like a Cleveland basketball game for the Thank you. No, I want to think one of the things I did find out Right where right where
01:13:58
Speaker
Just like after he's done off the balcony. I'm actually in the process. I'm cleaning up. There's people on fucking tick tock going like son of a bitch. It's actually raining beer cans. Totally worth it. Glicks just sitting there like, God, I wonder who did that? Sure was. No idea. No idea. God's getting wasted.
01:14:27
Speaker
They're all empty. Today is breaking news. There is beer cans coming out of the fucking sky. The world is now over. You got fucking like the Southern Baptist fucking news network. No, I feel like that's when the world would finally come out of its shell and everyone would get back to fucking realization of what is actually decent in America again. Facts. Facts. I mean, if it wasn't Miller White, but...
01:14:57
Speaker
Even my balcony, I don't like being on my balcony most of the time. And it's only on the second story. I want you to Twitch and Facebook. Yeah. I do want to take a quick break. Keep breaking. And whatnot, it is about that time for a break-a-roosky. But before we go to break, gentlemen,
01:15:26
Speaker
I got not one, but two great new songs tonight from two artists we like.
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01:15:35
Speaker
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01:16:11
Speaker
Yeah, let's be honest. I'm short 40 carrions out of my college box. It's so easy. They give you 10,000 plus plays just to join. Because no one else is listening to my show. Yeah, not only is it super easy to use, but you're also always going to look and sound your best when it comes to your uploads and whatnot. Not only that, but you don't have to go buy a whole bunch of crazy ass equipment either.
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01:17:32
Speaker
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01:18:05
Speaker
I can't, I can't, I can't tell If your kiss is selling or your loving cell And I don't, I don't, I don't know Whether I should trust you or just go out on Are you the type of girl that would let me know when you lie? So you're fine
01:18:37
Speaker
I bet she wishes I would choke Another thing I said before And you don't know what it was like To lay in bed with her and I After she turned out the light After she turned out the light
01:19:06
Speaker
I can't, I can't, I can't tell If your kiss is telling all your loving self
01:19:40
Speaker
About the things I said did hurt
01:20:09
Speaker
I can't, I can't, I can't tell If your kiss is telling, all your love is telling I don't, I don't, I don't know Whether I should trust you when it's going on Are you the type of girl that would let me know tonight? That you're fine But I cannot
01:20:40
Speaker
I'm
01:21:29
Speaker
I'm buddy brand new music from Blacktop Mojo off their new album Paulie coming out April 5th. Looking forward to the new album. They're killing it as usual. Go ahead and check the guys out on all social media, wherever you stream music at Blacktop Mojo. Show them some love. Let them know. Not since now, since since you I gotta I'm working on it. You know, we all have those
01:21:52
Speaker
shows where we do interviews and stuff where we want to redo. I'm working on my redo with Matt and the guys. Uh, I want to have them on the music show. Uh, but, uh, as we all know, the gentlemen, which is a good thing, the guys are super busy. So that's a good thing for them. Uh, but hopefully I'll have them on the music show down the road and, uh, get them in there hanging out, chit-chatting and, uh, playing some of their music and, and not, and, and, and whatnot and have a good time.
01:22:19
Speaker
and not fangirling. Welcome back to the house. Hey, Glick, you need to tell the fucking I said you need to tell the hotel to go unplug one of their deep fryers because it's fucking with your internet, bro. You're like real choppy, homie. I know. I know. I know. We just got to, we just got to push through. I'm going to be here, but I'm going to grab the word that we're live. That y'all live. Cool, cool, cool.
01:22:48
Speaker
Uh, welcome back to Now Since School Now. Since everybody, uh, we're live doing our thing. It is Saturday night. That means the door is open. The link is in the chat. If you're watching on Instagram, we are live on YouTube, Twitch, and Facebook. Actually, I think I can put that link. I don't know if it'll work, but I can put that link on Instagram there. And it's on Instagram. You hit that link and you can come right up in the studio and hang out with us. It is the open door challenge. Everybody's welcome to come and hang out with us.
01:23:16
Speaker
If you're not already, go ahead and check out our socials, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. We do do the show every Wednesday. It's Saturday night on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitch. And you can listen to us anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts at on all podcast platforms like Google, Apple, Spotify, Zencaster, and many, many, many, many, many, many more. Also.
01:23:46
Speaker
Check out our file.link if you have a hardcore file. Any of those things. All those links are there, including links to our sponsors. LiquidIB, your hydration destination. Shop better hydration today at liquidib.com. Use our promo code, words are hard. And check out where you get 20% off your entire order. Dovey energy. Are you tired of energy drinks? Leaving you with a crash? Making you feel all jittery? Join us as we wait.
01:24:10
Speaker
to war on big energy drinks. W.GG promo code words are hard at checkout. Get your savings, get your discounts, get energized and focused for the days. Analyze, but not at least Zincaster.com. We just heard me talk about them. It's your all in one podcasting, broadcasting and streaming platform. Super easy to use. Zincaster.com slash price and use our promo code words are hard. You're going to get 30% off of your first month's. And we're back. Okay. Now I can set it back up. You're fired.
01:24:40
Speaker
Came out is back to watching porn always midget porn nonetheless Yeah, I'm not mad at Jarvis Jarvis is just Jarvis There's no excuse You're getting pretty animated you okay you guys good no, I was just asking her about fucking cuz with
01:25:12
Speaker
That career person that they set me up with after I graduated is always a fucking no-show. So I was like, you know what? Fuck it. He's obviously seen your show. That was too easy. Yeah, that was too easy. I wish they were wanting my podcast. Yeah, TikTok is trying to ban me right now.
01:25:40
Speaker
TikTok started obeying everyone. That's nothing new. Jarvis, have you seen your TikToks? That's what I'm saying. Like my TikToks are shit. Like I literally, they asked if I wanted to appeal the decision. I'm like, sure.
01:25:56
Speaker
And they're like, why do you feel that this, why do you feel that this, uh, warning is unjustified? And I'm like, have you seen my tech talk? What did you do? What did you do? What happened? I didn't know whether you take one of your videos down or.
01:26:12
Speaker
No, um, well some of them for some of the music that I put on them Just you know some of the stuff that they allow you to have for me But no I I'd literally am now like I can't Message anyone on there for 14 days
01:26:52
Speaker
I was just getting ready to ask that question, Tim. Damn it, contract. You got it. You're weiner out with that fire red bush, didn't you? Does the carpet match the drapes, by the way, Jarvis? I've always wondered that. You'll never know. Whoa.
01:27:11
Speaker
Oh, let's be honest. Let's be honest. You have to do it.
01:27:23
Speaker
Yeah, he did tell you, Steven, you got to do it. I guess. No, not really. I'm going to turn my head. Yeah, turn your head, K-Mag. The host is demanding that his co-host show him their wieners and their fur bush. What else is about? I don't know.
01:28:06
Speaker
Why are giraffe neck I'm honestly curious now
01:28:15
Speaker
Well, because it makes me feel bigger than I really am. It looks bigger. The hair that runs right to the base, that's the part that I left. I shaved everything else. Just that part. We all are. It looks like a lion's face. I did mine so it looks like a shadow. It's a shadow of my dick.
01:28:46
Speaker
Notice notice how I start these conversations and then I see myself out the door Like this stick a dynamite I wonder if I light it and put it in front of these three fuckers Let's be honest just like just like if there was poison in the room one of us would be like we should like that Somebody taste it
01:29:24
Speaker
There's a guy I actually do edit his video on TikTok he's like he's he's talking about guys and he said if you put a bunch of guys in a room and you put boys in the middle one of them's gonna try it because the others are gonna be like you should go ahead try it see what it tastes like
01:29:43
Speaker
And the guy would be like, it tastes like, but that's what guys do. I mean, if you put a stick of dynamite in the middle of the room, one of us would be like, somebody should light it. Somebody got a lighter? Right. I wonder how big the boom would be inside this room. I'm curious now. Well, it's like, you know, the first time you played with an M80, throw it in the pool, see what happens. You know, it's curiosity thing. And then they banned them motherfuckers. Yeah. Motherfuckers.
01:30:12
Speaker
Well, maybe push for those together. All right. She can understand. There's a couple of mailboxes missing because. All right. No. Jeffrey, gentlemen, if I can have the floor for a second and I want to ask Jeffrey a question. What do we tell people all the time when they face dilemmas? Run towards the light.
01:30:44
Speaker
Nevermind that just completely just. No, I know. I know. Jeff fashion. He just dropped the ball. We were, we were on the one yard line about to win the super bowl and Jeff went and dropped the ball. Well, would not say it out loud. Well, yeah. Well, would nonsense go nonsense? And then of course do the opposite. I just had, I have PTSD and I just had a flashback of
01:31:14
Speaker
and the Browns fumbled on the one yard line and then Denver won the AFC championship game. Well, I thought that's what it all tends to do, just not help me after. No, that's what you're supposed to ask yourself. Yeah. It is the first thing that Chris and I would do, like, yeah. The first thing that Chris and I do is literally, what would the other do? Yeah, we should not do that.
01:31:39
Speaker
ask yourself out what Jarvis do, then you might need to go to therapy. It's simple. You ask Chris. Yeah, exactly. Chris will tell you what Jarvis is going to do. Chris, should I go take a chance? Chris, what do you think Jarvis is up to? Probably jumping out a window in five, four, three, two. I don't know. I just texted him. Yeah.
01:32:07
Speaker
I'm curious on what the context of what the problem is on why somebody's asking, what would non-social nonsense do? But apparently we'll never know because somebody went on mute and just having a conversation. Conrad said make the lemonade. I kind of like the lemonade. It's not wrong with lemonade. No, de lemonade. Oh, gross.
01:32:35
Speaker
I'm waiting to find out what the hell the dilemma is. But, you know, take your time. It's not like we're doing a show or anything. Just saying. Yeah, he gives us the most shit, Jeff. Yeah, he's the one always muted. And yeah, having a conversation, just bitches that Jeff doesn't get the C squad in here. Hey, Tony D, you want to get over here where the conversation actually is?
01:33:06
Speaker
wait he's not saying hey i gotta do my i gotta check my stuff here yeah he might be coming back to us nope are you back now homie we're still going to be back before the bar closes she said she'd be open till 12 31 o'clock oh yeah
01:33:32
Speaker
Welcome back to nonsense with nonsense where I have officially, I rule with an iron fist. I put the dick in dictator and Jeff puts the dick in dick taster. Who are you kidding? Nikki runs this fucking whole show. No, honestly, what was the context? What was the context of what would nonsense with nonsense do that you were asking? Who keeps dropping down K bags?
Sasquatch & Flirting Humor
01:34:02
Speaker
And I mean, I don't have my finger. I don't have the damn thing. I don't have admin prime. So she has. Thank you. One friend. She has one friend in a city town in a city bar. That's one area of either. She hasn't seen since Christmas. And there's a whole thing all over. And then there's another bar. There's people that you don't like. And then there's another bar that's closer.
01:34:31
Speaker
where her friend's a bartender that she hasn't seen since last June. It's been over a year. It's been over a year when we don't know nobody. Yeah. Nobody. I said, well, we'll see your friend at the bar where you know nobody and the friend that you haven't seen him for. Yeah. There's every time we come here, I'm trying to see that friend too. And then she's always busy or whatever. We're half an hour away and we're like literally right down the road from where she works at. So that was the point. I wish my fucking life was as hard as Glick's.
01:35:01
Speaker
the the
01:35:21
Speaker
What am I gonna do? Worst case scenario, you come back and I've made 30 new friends. Worst case scenario is he might start those drapes on fire. Worst case scenario, you come back and I've made friends with everybody in the hotel.
01:35:43
Speaker
Look mom, it's a live Sasquatch making friends and drinking beer. Let's go hang out with him.
01:35:58
Speaker
That's how security is going to be like knock on my door. We have reports of a Sasquatch wandering the halls drinking, being very nice and drinking beers with people. You open the door, you open the door. Nevermind. We did it. Yeah.
01:36:25
Speaker
Make sure you're not too late with all the women here. Was I told that? Because I just completely zoned out. But was I told not to flirt with the women? All the women. You know what that means. I was saying, I guess she was going to go flirt with the bitch. What's up, ladies? You're sharing a beer with the Sasquatch.
01:36:52
Speaker
You ever dance with the devil or fail to unite? You ever touch the Sasquatch's beard before? You ever hung up with your stamp? You want to touch the beard? No. You guys got the show. I'm going to go make friends. See you guys later.
01:37:16
Speaker
today's podcasting news nonsensical nonsense was cancelled after jeff and steven tried to make it sound that's what you need to do that's what you need to do go down to the bar just put your cell phone go down to the bar like that i fucking dare you hey have you ever seen a sasquatch with a championship belt everyone
01:37:37
Speaker
Everybody's like. This motherfucker, collectively, collectively, all 30 people to fall. There's like just walking in the fucking bar and these people are just like, look at this fucking loser. But but you got to do it. Conor McGregor sounds. First and foremost, if you're going to Conor McGregor, why can't you do it properly?
01:38:07
Speaker
Holy shit. It's the Vince McMahon walk. That's all it is. No, you got to see the fucking Roadhouse. Oh, my God. Dude, I saw the previous. I was going to bring that up. The previews. The previews do not do it justice.
Roadhouse Reboot & Conspiracy Jokes
01:38:21
Speaker
Well, listen, I think Jeff gave us an idea to watch tonight. Oh, dude, it is totally fucking worth it.
01:38:28
Speaker
No spoilers. Would you say it's as good as the one that Patrick Swayze was in? Okay, here's the thing. And I was explaining this to Chris before we started. You cannot look at it and compare it to Patrick Swayze. It is a completely different movie. It is a reboot, not a remake. So it's a reimagining of what Roadhouse is. If you literally took the name Roadhouse out and called it The Bar,
01:38:57
Speaker
or or something different it would be no no because it literally it's not the same bar it's not the same people it's not even the same um atmosphere well no it's it's like it's like an alternate new universe it's not even the same house yeah well yeah you can if they call it anything else
01:39:23
Speaker
They could've called it Jake Gyllenhaal being a badass for 25 minutes. And you'd be like, I'm in. Wait, that's possible? Dude, I'll tell you what, here's the thing. The one takeaway that if I ever get cut like Jake Gyllenhaal in that fucking movie, I will never buy another shirt. Jesus, he's ripped in that fucking shit. Does that dude even- Hey, Jeff. Neat. Jeff, did you touch yourself to Jake Gyllenhaal? You have no idea, sir.
01:39:54
Speaker
Would you tell him that you can't quit him? I I had to buy new sheets. I was going to say, well, we're painted white all over. Yeah, he was broke that mountain. Gay cowboy to fucking be a bad spouser. Dude, you want to talk about range. I'm not I'm not I'm not the biggest. I'm not the biggest big deal in the whole fan.
01:40:20
Speaker
Open range, that is. To me. To me, it sounds like Jake Dillon Hall was able to quit Heath Ledger. That's what it sounds like. I mean, he quit Heath Ledger a long time ago. Even life quit Heath Ledger. Up until seeing Roadhouse. Up until seeing Roadhouse, I would have said. I'm going to hell after that. Up until seeing the movie Roadhouse with Jake Dillon Hall, I would have said, I'd like to put Jake Dillon Hall in the house. I'm out.
01:40:48
Speaker
But after seeing Roadhouse, I'm like, yeah, you know what? I'm good. It's like that much. I bet Chuck Norris could still kick Jake Gyllenhaal's ass. Yeah, but after seeing Maggie, after seeing Maggie Gyllenhaal in all of her glory, I want to make Jake my best friend. Right? You know what? I'm not mad at you. Facts. Facts. Bro, your sister's hot. What would you do about it? Hypothetically, what would you do if I were to hook up with your sister?
01:41:18
Speaker
right i know there's bro code and i know we're best friends but like what would you round have you seen your sister naked because i have hey jake would you roundhouse kick me if i slept with your sister they say for instance your sister and i were the only two humans left on the planet and it was up to us
01:41:43
Speaker
Oh hey Jake, hate to tell you, since you agreed to that, me and your sister are the only two people alive, you're all ghosts. Dude, dude, seriously, watch the movie script search. You will, wow. She was pretty good and secretary too. That movie's so fucked up. It is, but she was good in that movie. She's an amazing actress. Yeah. And she's not terrible to look at.
01:42:14
Speaker
Her and what's it what's the other thing? What's Yeah, like me. Great podcast. Great podcast toast. That's that's kind of a reach.
01:42:30
Speaker
Hey Jarvis, hey Jarvis, go listen to one of your podcasts before you make what I mean for being a host. If I wanted to listen to one of my podcasts, I'd fucking jump in the fucking Mississippi with no clothes on. You don't even replace nonsensical nonsense at Gitmo Bay for a torture device with the Jarvis podcast.
01:42:49
Speaker
just Jarvis podcast 24 hours a day on the last I would literally fucking if someone told me that was they were using that as a torture device I'd be like why don't you just hand someone a gun and just say it's not loaded however however that's what the Russians are doing to the Ukrainians right now
01:43:14
Speaker
According to the Jeeva convention, that would be cruel and unusual punishment. You single-handedly ended terrorism right there. I single-handedly either ended it or single-handedly started it.
01:43:42
Speaker
Nah, I fucked at you because every Gitmo Bay, Gitmo Bay is where they could terrorists. So yeah, it's Gitmo Bay.
Gaming & Song-Based Movies
01:43:50
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I thought fucking Obama got rid of that shit. That's kind of a great area. It's kind of like Area 51 in a way. Let me ask you a question. Do you believe you have everything the government tells you?
01:44:08
Speaker
No, I don't believe a damn thing that motherfucker tells me. Because let me tell you, I got some beachfront property in Arizona for you. Real cheap. Yeah. Travis, Travis is from Minnesota. Trust me, there's one thing that they don't do in Minnesota and that's believe the government or believe politics because they have Jesse the body venture. Hey, you leave Jesse the body venture alone.
01:44:39
Speaker
If anyone put them as VP on the ballot, they automatically would win the election. Trump should do that. I don't think so. That's a stretch, dude. I think Jesse back in the day before he fucking went nuts like he is now.
01:45:05
Speaker
The aliens are going to try to get me. Thank God I'm from Minnesota. Did I tell you I was the governor of Minnesota? Minnesota up in the North Country. So long, Jason. God damn Jesse lost his fucking mind a long time ago. Oh, he did. He did. And the dude cannot shut up about 9-11. News flash. It's been a little while. Well, not only that.
01:45:35
Speaker
Anybody that doesn't believe it was an inside job is fucking retarded. Except for Steven because, you know, he believes everything the government dealt with. Everyone knows it's an inside job. It's not an inside job. Okay. Okay, there, champ. We were attacked by the Taliban. Yeah, sure we were. And yet our government knew about it. We were attacked by INSIs.
01:46:18
Speaker
They were looking for me
01:46:33
Speaker
good god i am so sorry america they lock the doors to the twin towers or just turn jarvis on all i mean somebody told him that's why he was podcasting for him if they would if they would have done that the branch davideans wouldn't have fucking burned themselves alive
01:46:52
Speaker
Join effort, boys. Join effort here. Hey, how are we going to get these Branch Davidians out of their compound? You ever hear of the Jaravishy project? Yeah, it sucks, Clarence. Them motherfuckers will come out. Oh, fuck. You're the reason why.
01:47:10
Speaker
Things like Waco happened. I mean, I was born the same year. I was born the same year. The Waco siege happened. I was actually born a coincidence. I think not. There you go. What the fuck was his name? They're fucking leader. David crush. Yeah. Yeah. You're David curse reincarnated.
01:47:35
Speaker
He's gonna go start a good colony tell me Hey Jarvis a little a little piece of advice That's not a good way. I should bring you guys when you go That I was born the same year of Waco Well fun back for you I'm not saying nothing but thinking of acts of terrorism
01:48:02
Speaker
I mean, we all remember the Killdozer guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, and I mentioned a while back that. Yeah, go ahead. Yes, Jeff Jarvis was an act of terror. Oh, oh, 100 percent. No, but but remember the Killdozer guy. Well, Whistling Diesel bought one of those those. Yeah, I came out and he's making one. Well, he's making one, but he's got a cease and desist letter from the government. And they're like,
01:48:32
Speaker
Don't fucking do it. And he's like, OK, you know that somebody ordered me that medal. I did it for me. For Jarvis, I never had a dream home until the 25th time I was on nonsensical nonsense. No, no, my drinking problem started a lot when I start doing Monday night show. Yeah.
01:49:01
Speaker
No, but they said I'm surprised I don't have a drinking problem after some of the shit we've shared on that Monday. I don't know if it was a cease and desist or if it was like a warning, but he was leaving it out. Stop it. Somebody showed up with a roll up newspaper and smacked him on the noses. Well, here's the thing. No, tell me, tell me if Chris and I had started a YouTube channel as opposed to a podcast, we wouldn't have done the same thing that shit Westland Diesel did. Yeah.
01:49:30
Speaker
The difference is while I'm driving the car through the field, Chris is going to talk about sports. I'm driving. He's going to the side. He's like, you know, the Browns are going to go to the Super Bowl. Shut up, fuck up. You see that over there? Yeah, I think the conversation would have went something like this. Like we're going to build a kill dozer. I don't know, Jeff. I don't know. It's such a good idea. I'll let you drive. OK, I'm in. No, no. The conversation would have went like this.
01:50:00
Speaker
Hey Chris, we're gonna build a kill doser. I'll buy the welder. Sometimes I get the urge to do meth and then I'm like, man, better not. But that guy's built some fucked up vehicles. He's ruined every car that you've dreamed about. He's got a way to ruin it.
01:50:21
Speaker
Yeah, Ferraris, Lambos. No, he got the R34 Nissan Skyline. The car, everybody can agree is a fucking gorgeous car. And destroyed it. He's like, it's a piece of shit. Well, I'm not going to agree with you because I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. The conversation. Yeah. That car was stupid. The silver one. The Challenger that Vin Diesel had is the coolest car in the entire franchise.
01:50:50
Speaker
the one that crashes every fucking movie terrible influence of cars except except for the second one where they have the muscle cars and that was the ones with the ejector the kuda the kuda and the camaro wasn't it yeah well the camaro was the yanko no less yeah it was a yanko i was gonna say it wasn't just a fucking camaro bud yeah it was yanko yeah
01:51:20
Speaker
conversation of Jeff and I building a kildos are going something like this. Jeff, I don't know if it's such a good idea. Here's a case of beer. I've been like, no, in general, not even the kildos are part like, Chris, we're gonna build the world's largest fucking monster truck. Do I get to drive it? Yeah. Okay. You know, the dude is really done.
01:51:44
Speaker
He did that, that video where he bought that. No, he built the toilet. He bought the toilet. He looks and see the solid. You can destroy it. Who doesn't? He hasn't wanted to do that. Right. He literally put like man. He put a goose neck. That fucker still runs to rip the dash out of it and fucking everything. I wish they'd bring back monster garage. That would, that used to be a good show. Not really.
01:52:14
Speaker
It was for. You didn't play Monster Garage? Here's the problem with most car shows. Most car shows are either about the people, not the car, or they build a car that no real car person is going to be like, oh, I really want that. I'll be right back. There's a show on Netflix. It's called Gotham Garage.
01:52:40
Speaker
Okay, they took up they took a Ferrari put a wide-body kit on it They made a wide body pit and then they're showing it off and it has the worst orange peel I've ever seen Let's talk about buttered sausage talk about buttered sausage where it comes from what it does Why is it doing what it's doing get it out of my face? What about others buttered sausage? That's not your jam. It's not your thing. You don't like it. I
01:53:09
Speaker
It's not my jam. I don't buy jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips. That poor guy. Fine. We'll get carried on. We'll paint the cars orange and brown. Now, Chris is happy. Yeah, no problem with those car shows. I don't know. The grand tour is pretty good. I love the thing that we're talking.
01:53:38
Speaker
Nicky and I were talking today when we were on the Quaker St. Lou's about the different burger. That was waiting on it. And great motels. And we went by this one hotel and I said, God, that looks like the hotel from a fucking identity or vacancy, right? So I was like, God, who was that chick that was in there? And I had to look it up, but it was Kate Beckinsale.
01:54:07
Speaker
Then I was looking at the cast from, because I knew the cast from identity was awesome. Oh, that was an amazing moment. I totally forgot that. Totally forgot that Rebecca DeMornay was in identity. Well, there's so many people in that fucking movie. Which, which will, which Wilson brother was in vacancy? Was that Luke? Yeah, I think so. We're talking about women. Gary Busey.
01:54:36
Speaker
Gary Busey is an identity. Is he really? Yeah, I'm like, not Gary, Jake. Sorry, Jake Busey. Oh, Jake Busey. I love Jake Busey. I'm like, you know, he's actually a good looking cat. And then he smiles. And he's got all of his dad's teeth. But not only that, he's got a psychopath face. And he doesn't like... Also, how do you think Jake Busey is?
01:55:08
Speaker
No, he's in his sixties. Really? No, no. This dude was in a movie. It was in a movie in the seventies. Um, it's called. No, it was Jake. Well, Jake's 52. Is he really? Yeah.
01:55:28
Speaker
He said, Jesus Christ, Gary Busey's got it. And I said, Mickey, how do you think Gary Busey? It's just like, I don't know, 125, 112. He's 80. And I'm like, yeah, close enough. I'm like, damn, I didn't realize Jake was that old because. But then you look at it and it's like, wow, he really has been doing movies since like the 90s and shit. God was a boy. Yeah. Well, he was in The Frighteners. Yeah, he was in The Frighteners.
01:55:59
Speaker
And then his dad, I never knew that movies back in the day, if they had a popular song, they immediately made a movie. And then all of a sudden I ran into a movie called Eye of the Tiger. Yeah, there is a movie called Eye of the Tiger. Hold on a second. Rewind that back real quick. You never knew that if there was a popular song, they made a movie.
01:56:28
Speaker
Well, back in the back in the day, yes, they made movies based off of classic songs like you had Harper Valley PTA had a movie. So did they make a movie called Eye of the Tiger where a dude literally had the eye of a tiger?
01:56:42
Speaker
No, it's like he lost his eye. Like he lost his eye. All right. Yeah, it's my time to leave. I'm asking you a question because I've never heard of it. I want to know it's literally okay. So it's literally literally it's about the Harbor Valley PTA.
01:57:09
Speaker
It's a shot for shot remake of the animal. I love it when Glick's screen freezes because it freezes at the most inopportune times for him because he's making the dumbest face. That's fair. That's fair.
01:57:29
Speaker
Let's be honest. It doesn't have to freeze for that. You may be on to something of why I keep coming on this shit. Glick's like, hey, Steven, have a new show. Sure. I'll do it. I have a new show in the world. It's going to be on Thursday nights. It's only an hour long. So what is this movie about? Seriously, I've never heard of it.
01:57:58
Speaker
I never, when I thought of Eye of the Tiger, I immediately thought of Rocky III. Yeah, Rocky. And my dad, back when I was living at my dad's house, there used to be a channel on satellite called El Rey. This is like the time that I asked Jeff what a book was about. But no, no. He did everything. I'm getting there. What the god damn book was about. But this El Rey.
01:58:25
Speaker
L-Ray used to have like all the old classic Grindhouse films and so one night through channels and I got L-Ray and I was like eye of the tiger I'm like really they made a movie based on a fucking song about eye of the tiger and you know all that so I'm like what Sylvester Stallone was like hey I already used this movie in Rocky 3 might as well make a movie with the same name but no it's pretty much like walking tall and
01:58:56
Speaker
But instead of Gary Busey being the sheriff, he's a guy that was locked up and he takes on a motorcycle gang because they kill his wife. It's a good movie. It's on Tubi. It's on Tubi, Glick. It sounds like Mad Max. Based on that movie. So it's the first version of Mad Max.
01:59:24
Speaker
And the pickup truck he has in that movie is amazing. And then it was it was worth the four hour trip down this road that we went with Jarvis to figure out what the movie was about. All right, yep, I'm gone.
01:59:51
Speaker
He's the kind of guy that you play monopoly like, you know, the place is going to end up on the floor. Fuck flipping the board. He flips the whole table. I was on his side. I was in like, I'm like, no, it sounds like
02:00:07
Speaker
Based on the poster looks like a good movie. I'm not mad at but it does sound like it's American version of Mad Max except for the guys I Like those kinds of movies I love again it was I Had PTSD from Jeff and it was the whole conversation about goddamn Ulysses I'm thinking
02:00:33
Speaker
whatever. Listies, Ulysses, Amadeus. It all ends in us. It's all the same. You know how many people have told that conversation and they're like, wait, he doesn't know who Ulysses is? Hey, Jeff, how about you and your trebuchet? Fuck off. There's Jarvis. He's back. Welcome back, rage quit. Shut the fuck up.
02:01:03
Speaker
no seriously though hey yo hey yo hey yo come down chief wahoo that's racist Jarvis liggy is the one that said i sounded like a native american when i said it
02:01:26
Speaker
That's racist, Jeravichi. It's not racist when you make fun of Italians from New York. That reminds me, where is Lady? She said she's driving home. Oh, he's driving home. Oh, it's not in the comments on over here. So if you haven't seen it yet, Glick, you'll definitely like the movie. It's so freaking hard to find, though. That's the thing. Like you can't find it on Amazon.
02:02:17
Speaker
what to be handed
02:02:25
Speaker
I've been seeing clips of it on TikTok. I'm like, I didn't even see this fucking movie. I can't find it anyway. Save my fucking flag. It's not a bad movie. Oh, damn right. Well, it says it says online. It says online that it's on Amazon, but it's on Amazon in the States, not Amazon here. Or it's on one of the premium channels. Well, don't you have an Amazon? Don't you have a VPN, Jeff? No. Because if you had a VPN, you could
02:02:40
Speaker
which dude from Breaking Bad Walter White the chemist
02:02:53
Speaker
Yeah, I know yeah, but i'm i'm too lazy I pay for enough fucking streaming shit. I don't need a vbn too Yeah, most of the streaming shit we pay for it's like you're only watching it for one good show and then like netflix Well, we're gonna cancel the show even though it makes us money and then we'll drive up our subscriptions for you We we we brought a roku with us this weekend because we've learned one thing about making all these trips up here and staying in hotels and stuff
02:03:23
Speaker
Fucking cable television is garbage, man. There is never nothing on and I was debating whether bringing my jail breakers click. No, I bought the Roku's for the kids. But like cash don't need his and his bedroom anymore because I gave him my my Xbox one. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a little. And we'll drag him out in the yard and fist fight him.
02:03:48
Speaker
We were playing wrestling last night. That was fist fight. We're good. That guy beats the hell out of me in wrestling. And then he smug about, like, I don't know where he gets his cockiness and that ego-ness from. I don't know. Never would guess. Never. Never would guess. Never would guess a Sasquatch.
02:04:27
Speaker
Every nonsense listener came egg that was listening to this as soon as he grabbed the belt was like, yeah, we're done. Yeah. So so their their mom typically the kids are at the house on Friday.
02:04:42
Speaker
Right. Their mom, her, her boss decided to, I don't know if she took everybody out for dinner or, or they made, she, their mom works on a horse ranch and the lady who owns the ranch, she, I think she cooked them steaks last night. You know, there's a way to say thank you for everything they do and stuff like that. And it was just for the adults. So she was like, it was cool. If I dropped the kids off for a few hours, I'm like, I don't care.
02:05:07
Speaker
So cash and I were playing wrestling before we watched wrestling. This little did hit me with this got me a finisher like eight times and then like, I'm like, just freaking pin me already. Well, you might kick out and then he goes out of the ring and picks up weapons and just start. I'm like, if this was real life, I would be dead. Just so you know, I would be dead. And then I finally got the upper hand on him and a match.
02:05:31
Speaker
and I pin him and he kicks out like nothing. And I'm like, well, how did you do that? I just press the buttons. I'm like, what buttons? The ones that you push. I don't know. Apparently there's special buttons that you can push and you can instantly kick out of a pin.
02:05:48
Speaker
Most people read the controller instructions. Yeah. Who the fuck does that? Right. It's a fucking payback thing that you can use. Yeah. I used to be good at the wrestling game. And now I got this little mother sucker just beating my ass all over the place and just half the time he puts his controller down and walks away and then he comes back and I'm like. Glick still characters. You guys could put it on split.
02:06:17
Speaker
You guys should put it on Twitch just because I've never watched Twitch, but I would tune in to watch you get your ass kicked. Oh, you think you're real tough, don't you? I said, let's play Madden. I don't know how I don't care. Let's play Madden. Well, now it's called pass. Yeah. So, so now that he, you know, I had to create his own Xbox account, so therefore he had to have his own Fortnite account because he couldn't log into mine, which I feel bad because like all of his skins and everything that he's worked since he's been playing Fortnite for the last few years.
02:06:47
Speaker
He doesn't have. Right. So I think I'm going to buy him some B-Bugs for Easter or something. I don't know. But so he wanted to play Call of Duty. Well, he couldn't get in on his account. He can play on my account. So I had to create a new Activision account for him. He was like, does this mean that we can play Call of Duty together? And I'm like, yeah, you can be in here and I can be the living room and you can join up on a party.
02:07:12
Speaker
actually pretty good at Call of Duty. He would make Brian look bad in Jarvis. You know what I'm talking about. So that means Brian will stop asking me to quit buying the fucking game. Just buy the game and then we'll ask you to buy it. Yeah, no. And then then I own the game and still don't play the motherfucker. No. And then I'll be like, hey, Brian, guess what? I bought Call of Duty and he'll be like, oh, I stopped playing that a while ago. Are you going to play it again? Right now, that Mark Bryan and I, speaking of Mark and Brian,
02:07:42
Speaker
Then the three of us will go Jarvis. I'll be like, yeah, my son plays. Why don't you have the game?
02:07:50
Speaker
No Glick all you gotta do is Jarvis. I told you to buy the fucking game. He's gonna go buy it as soon as you tell him that Brian Brian has literally been bogging me for three months to buy that shit whole game and I'm like I already have Different Call of Duty artists I don't ever want to hear you make fun of fucking Call of Duty ever again because I've watched your twitch the last few Friday nights And you're literally going around drilling rocks
02:08:16
Speaker
So what? Hey, Deep Rock is the one game. I will say that. Wait, wait, wait, survivors better. If you like the game, fine. But you're drilling rocks. I'm sorry. It's a game to play. I'm fucking sorry. Wait, if you want me to play a game, you like send me the fucking game. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What is the game? It's called Deep Rock. And what is the concept of the game?
02:08:45
Speaker
You're, you work for a mining company. You're a dwarf. Hold on. Let's get the context. Right. You're a dwarf. You go to like outer space planets and basically your objective is, is to go and complete certain missions on certain planets. But while you're doing it, you can mine different materials, this, that, and the other. And then there's aliens that attack you throughout the entire process.
02:09:10
Speaker
Wow, that sounds boring as shit. I'm just going to give you the quick rundown before we get into another lengthy discussion. I think K-mag plays drug dealer simulator. Fuck yeah! It's dealer simulator, not drug dealer simulator. There is a game called drug dealer simulator.
02:09:31
Speaker
The drugs are implied. Hey, there is a game called Drug Dealer Simulator, though. Jarvick was busting our balls about Call of Duty. Basically, every couple of years, they come out with a new game. And it's the same thing. What I was saying is that most games... Different guns, maybe a new map or two, which he's right. However, this is the same guy who's like, I can't wait to spend $500 on GTA 6, which is... It's not gonna be $500. I'm fucking in.
02:10:01
Speaker
I was like, I'll end up on it. I will. I will. I do too. No, but here's the thing. The only thing I will ever agree with you on games, Glick, is that yes, games like Call of Duty or sports games, they release them every year and it's pretty much exactly the same thing. Just different graphics, higher price.
02:10:34
Speaker
Yeah, yeah The one thing he has Over a call of duty and stuff like that is The story lines are fucking amazing. Yeah the story lines on those games
02:10:51
Speaker
So, OK, I'm going to stop you there because I know where you're going with this. You know, you do. You're going to do two in the black. That's good. I didn't ever get it. Oh, black ops ones. Black ops was amazing. No. And I get it. The only one. The one that was really bad was the modern warfare where it was like futuristic and they had the. Advanced warfare. Yeah.
02:11:20
Speaker
This game was shit. Vanguard was shit too. Vanguard and Advanced Warfare was shit. And the campaign modes on those were fucking terrible. Hey, Mac, did you see what Rockstar came out with? They came out with a list of games that are coming up. 2028 Red Dead Redemption 3. That's going to be another one that they just keep fucking expanding. But see,
02:11:47
Speaker
But that game seems amazing. Those games are amazing. Yeah. So the cool thing, like with Red Dead Redemption games and even Grand Theft Auto is like if you play online, you can actually do like the 5M or the Red M, which is all the real servers.
02:12:05
Speaker
Right. The 5M though is much better than what GT online. Yeah. Yeah. But Rockstar now owns 5M and RedM, but it just, it enhances the gameplay form so you can take your gameplay further. You know what I mean? You can basically create your own story at that point. I hate playing online. Right.
02:12:31
Speaker
uh when it comes to something like gta or red dead i i red dead i will literally just go hunting for a day yeah or or or the the challenge there's one challenge where you have to go basically from one side of the map to the other side of the map on your horse as fast as possible and beat some record i've been trying for like six months and i always i always find the one fucking hole and then my horse fucking dies
02:13:02
Speaker
I love it. I love it. The one time I came over and I'm like, I can cut past this and I'll skip this fucking this area. There's a fucking cliff. And we went off the fucking cliff. Have you ever fucking in Red Dead found the one pothole in the whole fucking map where you're just riding along and all of a sudden your horse just goes like, nope. And you get lawn darted. Dude, the
02:13:29
Speaker
There there's a bunch of tick-tocks were like I wonder what would happen if I put ten million dollars into the camps funds And then Dutch is like we're so close like no you're not I got ten million dollars in there we can go to eaty motherfucker But like with I got a kick out of rockstar cuz they're like people were bitching about how the AI Will literally like swerve in front of you and you always hit them with your cars or whatever. Oh, yeah
02:13:59
Speaker
Yeah, Rockstar's like, well, yeah, we did that for a reason. Yeah. No, I do plan on buying. I wish they'd make another LA Nore game, though. Yeah. I do plan on buying GJ6 and Red Dead 3. I love those games. They're great. They're classic. But I'm not a big gamer guy.
02:14:29
Speaker
like The only game I really wanted to get when I bought my playstations. I had to get Gran Turismo 7 I fucking love Gran Turismo I could spend days just driving That's one of the big reason for you to probably get That Xbox game pass well, I'm actually
02:14:56
Speaker
Yeah, and I'm thinking about getting an Xbox because Well, yeah that forza game is I've been seeing there's a guy I watch online That game looks fucking dope Mint well, not only that that you can customize the shit out of the car I mean the the biggest problem I have with something like Gran Turismo you can't really customize I mean, yeah, you can put new rims on you paying it, but that's about it Yeah, but with forza you can you know
02:15:24
Speaker
You can raise and lower it. You do all this other shit. They were like, you know, I got custom tunes on them and shit like that. Well, and you can engine swap. Yeah, that's a huge deal. So it's like, yeah, I'm totally in for that. I can't remember the game I played where it was like. I can't remember the fucking name, but it was it was available on all platforms, but like you could actually see the cars behind you in your rearview mirror and shit like that. Yeah.
02:15:55
Speaker
That was cool. I think I know the game. I can't remember the name of it. It was on some island. Yeah. Test Drive or something? Yeah, it was something like that. But it was like, it was better on Xbox than it was on PlayStation. And I was like, ugh. Most games are? No, but I couldn't justify buying the, I can't justify myself buying an Xbox unless it was to play something like Orza. I don't, I'm not the Xbox guy.
02:16:24
Speaker
I can't I can't pull that trigger. It's just another council. Yeah, it's the biggest difference. The only difference, the only difference is the controller and I was placed.
02:16:42
Speaker
I was PlayStation guy for years. I'm like, I never buy an Xbox, fucking Xbox and fucking people who are on Xbox. And the only differences is the control. I swear to God, the only difference is the controller. And you've got a few games that are Xbox exclusive, just like PlayStation has PlayStation exclusive. Yeah. And what I'm probably doing is buy both. And at this point in time.
02:17:07
Speaker
I'll take my Xbox over the PlayStation. I like Xbox a lot more than the like PlayStation. Did you hear what PlayStation has been saying, though? No, what? That the console wars is coming to an end. Well, yeah, they should. They should just merge and call today. I mean, it's stupid. Like I always said, it doesn't bother me if one of my friends likes PlayStation over Xbox or Xbox. No, it doesn't bother me at all.
02:17:35
Speaker
I always, I always got a kick out of that when people are like, Oh, well this one's better than this one. It's like, yeah, but it's, it's you. And yeah, the gaming PC blows both of them out of the water. Yeah. But you know what? I can't, I can't just buy. Anybody who plays on a PC is a fucking twat. It's PC gamers, sorry, Jarvis, PC gamers and came out or whatever. I'm sorry guys, but PC gamers are the most pretentious cocksuckers on the goddamn planet.
02:18:02
Speaker
When I'm playing on a gaming PC like oh hey, I'm better than everyone. I'm just gonna be like hey, I bought a gaming PC There's no change in my mind. It's a simple cold hard fact our PC gamers are pretentious cock smokes Now now I have a boy on the weekends and it's Saturday boys. I have a question If you could ever
02:18:30
Speaker
Go back in time and bring back an old video gaming council back. What would that be?
02:18:41
Speaker
Either the Super NES or the original NES. Yeah, but in all seriousness, you could just... They have that Mini NES. I know, and they got the Mini Super NES too. Yeah, and it's got every game ever made for it, so you can just go buy that. They've got Mini everything. They've got that Mini Jazz. It's a moot point. I would bring back the Atari. I would bring back the Atari.
02:19:06
Speaker
Jeff's got a nice tree right back there. I'll cut you a couple of paddles and I'm sure he'll like them all up against his wall. I'm playing pong. I want to play the original pitfall in Frogger, God damn it. Once again, I'm pretty sure you can just download those games on your phone. If you could, which system would it be, though?
02:19:35
Speaker
I mean, if you were like, hey, I wanted to bring Sega Genesis back because, you know, nowadays someone. I see how Jarvis is wanting to word the question. All right. Say they didn't have the mini versions, basically. Yes. Yes. They have the drawbacks. You got to put the whole context. Well, no, but people can't. The wheels aren't turning most of the time. No, we were just waiting for you to explain it because you explain everything.
02:20:05
Speaker
No, but like I love the old NES I back in the day again You sit there and play fucking Mario for like four days without moving. Yeah the gameplay time on the old-school consoles anymore to me like oh People are buying back into the old-school. Well, I mean that was backwards were there Well, the reason why you would have the hours was because there was no save feature
02:20:33
Speaker
Yeah, you basically every time you turn it on you started from the beginning which was you know The problem nowadays is like let's say I decided to go out by my All my shit and I wanted to play Call of Duty with you guys. I'd have to spend how much just to catch up Nothing No, no, no, you're like you when I had the skins and all that shit No, I mean if you want to skins
02:21:03
Speaker
Right. And I get that. But if you want, I wouldn't be on the same level. Yeah, you would. You would just have to play to get on the same level. Because the skins and stuff like that, that we have in the gun, you know, we had to buy them anyway. So as far as the guns and weapons and stuff like that go, you unlock all those as you level up.
02:21:25
Speaker
You just have to level up. There's no money to be spent unless you want to spend money and call a dude Just because I spend money or somebody else spends money. It doesn't mean that they have the upper hand on me in any way shape or form No, I understand. You just have to play the game. Well, that's all you have to do and there's no cost right outside of buying I know but what I'm saying is like
02:21:50
Speaker
I don't know how to explain it. It's like microtransactions are ruining games. Agreed. What up, this is Nonsense with Nonsense podcast. We are live on YouTube, Twitch and Facebook and we're also live on here. The door is open. Let's find out how long it takes before TikTok bans us again, right?
02:22:16
Speaker
Yeah, because you wouldn't have to spend money to But you know what I mean, like you would be on a different level so you know where where the old NES You start at the same level both every time. You know what I mean? Like you you you buy no buttons But like you already have healing powers and I don't you know, so where I have to shoot you
02:22:47
Speaker
You would, because they have default pre-save or preset gun classes. They already have perks and everything with it. As you level up, just because I'm level 200 and you're level one, doesn't necessarily mean that I have an upper hand that you don't have. No, but what I'm saying is like, let's say it takes me 15 shots to kill you, but it takes you one to kill me.
02:23:16
Speaker
No, that's not the case. Not with Call of Duty. Well, I did not know. Just because I love love. Just because I'm level one doesn't mean my character is stronger than you. Right? I caught it. But like games like Call of Duty or Fortnite. Like Grand Theft Auto. If I'm brand new to the game and you're level 500, yeah, you have a massive
02:23:51
Speaker
I don't play online at all and now Because it's a fucking joke because you always got some asshole It's got some hidden where he's hidden Nobody can see him and every time you walk out on the street. He fucking shoots you and you start over That's why they have That's why they have different
02:24:12
Speaker
Online modes now like 5m and all that and the LSP DFR. I mean Los Santos police and fired apart. Yeah, I saw that on tick-tock. Yeah, it's fuckin. That's Yeah, if you want to be a cop you go be a cop you can do that on the regular 5m What are they the RPGs or something like that
02:24:42
Speaker
Yeah, it's like role playing. Like, yeah, it's role playing. Yeah, it's really hard. Yeah. Do those guys crack me up when I come across? It's just like, wow, you guys are really trying hard to pretend to be police officers, aren't you? Like it's a video game, you ass faces.
02:25:00
Speaker
Yeah, usually whenever I was in a 5M server, I just ran them over and usually got banned from the servers from RDM, which is random. I could just see K-Mag in those games. Walking around their police cars just placing the C4 on them and just being like, bye, bitches. Dude, you don't get shit when you start out in those games. You're lucky you get 500 bucks. I know. I played them before. You mean you don't get the actual hole and you stick a banana in their tailpipe?
02:25:30
Speaker
Oh, that would be funny. Look, his mouth's open and he's frozen. No, that's a lick that's ready to drink. That's the Sasquatch look.
02:25:46
Speaker
Well, that's a, I just fell out of the, I'm going to suck a dick tree. Yeah, that is funny jokes. Don't you? Hey Jarvis, take us to break. Tell us about one of our sponsors. Yeah, I'm good.
02:26:05
Speaker
I don't know half of our fucking sponsors. Zincaster, so easy as Sasquatch can use it there. I already did that one. Go to break. Oh, next. W Energy. There you go. There you go. What is W Energy doing?
02:26:23
Speaker
Anyway, so we are going to take a. We are going to take a. No jitters. Well, what did you say? But what? Racist. Oh, God. OK, well, before I get fucking canceled because Conrad brought to you by Guantanamo Bay. Brought to you. Brought to you by.
02:26:53
Speaker
Go fuck yourself fuckers You've never you've never seen brew so mighty I have but be positive, okay We've already got three negative motherfuckers in this chat, you don't need to be the fourth no positivity is Monday This is fucking come as you are
02:27:18
Speaker
Mondays. Mondays are our positive good vibes. Inspirational. The rest of the week. It's a fucking Monday. One day it's kumbaya and I love you guys and I appreciate you guys. Wednesday and Saturday. Fuck all of you. I hope you stay on fire and nobody puts you out.
02:27:57
Speaker
He's changing up I Don't know if I'm gonna do blitz house of music
02:28:13
Speaker
You look like you was high as a motherfucker. Your eyes are half open. One was crossed way over here. The other one was
02:28:36
Speaker
Yeah, it's Chris's internet so we freeze on his end and he's still moving thinking he's so he's good And then we're watching him and he's looked like he's about ready to take 14 dicks in the mouth and yeah
02:28:54
Speaker
looks like he's just waiting on a bus.
02:29:24
Speaker
All right from our next selection of blacktop mojo
02:29:54
Speaker
Which episode was that one from, guys? I was like 10, 15 episodes ago. OK. It wasn't that long ago. That was from fucking. Yeah, that was from fucking Japanese goddamn Ulysses and trebuchet episode. Trying to bring you a little culture, but God forbid. Take my culture.
02:30:23
Speaker
All the time, I can't take the farm, take the boy off the farm. We can't take the farm out of the boy. Green Acres. You talk video about this book, I'm going to read it. No, that book is like one of the most famous books. It's on it's on the list of 100 books you should read.
02:30:56
Speaker
Does this dude look like he reads books to you? This motherfucker is like the fucking Sasquatch version of fucking Quint from Jaws. Do you think that motherfucker reads? Quint from Jaws. I'm waiting for Glick to be like in a fucking boat going like, hey, Chiefy. Hey, Chiefy.
02:31:24
Speaker
You should have asked me what kind of knot. I'm sure it's too much wonderful. Show me the way to... You see these scars, boy. You see these scars. This one's from an arm wrestler. I'm over here trying all the... I'm over here trying all the other hotel internets. Like, one's gonna be better than the other. You know what, Glick, if you hired me... I'm not all in this game with this server. But not all.
02:31:53
Speaker
I told you, tell him to go and plug the fucking deep fryer. It'll be way better, I promise. You know, Glick, if you fired me, you'd be saving your podcast a lot of misery. Just, just saying. No, you're the comic relief in this whole situation, bro. Don't, don't, don't tell him that. No, no. Don't think he's funny and he'll have to explain the joke. Oh my God.
02:32:23
Speaker
Let me explain why it's funny. Fuck you, Connor, with a hard R. Hard ER, sorry. Sorry. My boss might get mad at me for not using the hard ER like it fucking matters. What are you babbling about? Oh, yeah, I saw that coming. Yeah, I got froze too long. Yeah, he well, he's changed. He's checking out different internets.
02:33:01
Speaker
I don't know which one he added and which one he didn't. There's so many fucking musics on here. So while he's doing that, the champion. Yeah, you know, get right on that. Let me get my bill. You got it from JCPenney.
02:33:22
Speaker
I could see Glick being like yeah well I paid 300 for mine and Jeff's like yeah well I paid 20 bucks at JCPenney for my belt and you don't see me bragging about it. And mine actually fits in the belt loops. All right there buddy.
02:33:43
Speaker
It's just like this is so far out of my control. It's just like completely crapped out. But I don't know. I was. The poor fucking chipmunk died. Well, OK. We got to poke the hamster with a stick every once in a while. It's completely. Hey, a carrot in front of that little son of a bitch or something. Well,
02:34:09
Speaker
The problem is, is there's like 40 other people doing something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it is. I was going to say, if you got a hotspot on your phone or Glick, you'd probably honestly be better off running off that. Unfortunately, I'm in a fucking bed spot.
02:34:29
Speaker
where I'm at in a dead spot. My phone's fucking shit. Of course you are. Ohio, who would have thought? I'm not in Ohio. I'm in fucking P.A. where they've only had fucking indoor plumbing and electricity for the last five years. They just got internet yesterday. They still got dial up, boys. They just got internet yesterday. Yeah, you should have tried to get out of the internet earlier.
02:34:58
Speaker
What's going on, Peter? Which one is the newest song? What's going on, Peter? Appreciate you being here and appreciate to share last week as well. I hope you guys can hear me. Yeah. Which one is the new song? Peter hit us with a nice tune last week.
02:35:22
Speaker
try to get through this little ad read here real quick because god forbid Jeff know how to I was going to I was going to but I didn't know when you threw it on me and then I fucked it up so we probably don't have a sponsor anymore so I said what what's the new photo the other one
02:35:42
Speaker
We don't have a new song from Black Mountain. I said I said we had two. You said we had two. Two bands. Okay. I said I have two new songs from two bands. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
02:36:12
Speaker
So, uh, Hey, how are you doing? I feel like it's a major league where fucking, uh, the old guy, Bob Euchre's character passes out and he's like, Monty, take over for me. Sounds like somebody's butter. We are going to take a break. We're going to try to get, we're going to, we're going to try to survive through these
02:36:41
Speaker
in these goddamn trials and tribulation that there's the internet at the hotel. It's completely out of my control and I apologize. Spring is right around the corner. It's going to be hotter days, longer days. We're going to be outside more. We're going to be doing more things outside. Part of being outside is making sure we're properly hydrated.
02:37:12
Speaker
I hear you on that one, K-Mag. Are you guys getting that snowstorm, too? Tomorrow? Tonight? Oh, is it going to be tonight? Yeah. It's already snowing. You have my first one. It's all good. Sorry, Blake. I'm sorry. Go ahead. If I wanted the goddamn weather report, I'd watch Fireman Reach Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday mornings.
02:37:40
Speaker
It's a shout out. It's not a dig, as I was saying. Spring and summer, right around the corner, hot days, longer days. We're going to be outside more, doing outside activities. And we want to make sure we're properly hydrated. So check out our friends over at LiquidIV. We're going to make sure you're hydrated and taken care of.
02:37:57
Speaker
Literally, you guys may not know this unless you listen to the show. You've heard me say it a million times. One packet of liquid IV and 16 ounces of water is going to hydrate you two times faster than water alone, three times the electrolytes, and five essential vitamins. So they're going to be making sure you're properly hydrated and taken care of because we don't want you falling out when you're at the beach with the kids or at a music festival or wherever you may be at enjoying your summer activities. Or if you're just working outside in the heat, we don't want you falling out. So go ahead and head on out.
02:38:26
Speaker
LiquidIV.com, real people, real flavors, real hydrating. Use our promo code, words are hard. It's going to get you 20% off your entire order. When you shop better hydration today at LiquidIV.com with promo code, words are hard. Now, as I said, I have two new songs from two different bands. And this next song is actually a cover, but it is from Lilliac, the All Sibling Rock Band. And it's featuring Razi, and it's a cover of
02:38:58
Speaker
Dream on. I haven't heard this yet, so I don't know if they did a good job or not, but they are a fun band that we enjoy here on the show. So we're back here just a few.
02:39:46
Speaker
Every time that I look in the mirror All these rhymes in the face gettin' clearer The past has grown on and went by like a dusted dome
02:40:14
Speaker
Losing eyes to pray Yeah, I know, nobody knows Where it comes and where it goes I know, it's everybody soon You've got to lose your know
02:40:53
Speaker
Lived and learned from the rules and from sages You know the truth All the things come back to you
02:41:14
Speaker
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear Sing with me, it's just for today Maybe tomorrow, the good one
02:43:25
Speaker
Cheer with me if it's time for the day heat
02:43:44
Speaker
Oh, good shit. Enjoyed it. It wasn't bad. Not a bad. No. I ain't mad at it. Like I said, I hadn't listened to it yet and I kind of kind of crushed that. I've heard worse. I will say that, but it was definitely really good. I enjoyed it. I did. It was actually really good. I had to go put a shirt on.
02:44:13
Speaker
I felt like a creeper sitting here in my robe for the last two and a half hours. I'm only at state. I love you. So what am I normally at state besides you, Tim? An insanely hard vocal to cover. Yeah, it is. I couldn't do it. No way. My favorite song. Cool cover. Absolutely, Peter.
02:44:39
Speaker
Oh, hey, babe. Let's, let's calm down. All right. I'm trying to get me to take advantage of it. I was going to say, at least take me out to dinner before we do that. Give me a double cheeseburger at least somewhere around there. But anyways, welcome back to non-sensical nonsense. Sorry for all the technical difficulties. Unfortunately out of my control tonight, uh, we are out of town and I'm at a hotel. So.
02:45:09
Speaker
you know, I, I don't have, uh, I don't have power over the internet. Uh, you know, the chair fully gets me so far and I haven't asserted my, my dominance here in this hotel yet. Like clearly I should have when I first walked in. I just want to point something out. Peter's taking it to the next extreme. Now he just wants to get high. So I don't know what the fuck we're doing here. Are we getting drunk or are we getting high? Look, come on. Let's fuck it. We're done.
02:45:33
Speaker
Hey, we're going to do both and we're going to have the drunk stone to munchies, which I have to say you are a wise man. You probably just blew Peter's mind right there. He's like, wait, I feel like Peter is trying to get me under the influence of something and take advantage.
02:45:56
Speaker
He won't judge on you, buddy. And Chris, there's a quarter there. Bend over and pick it up. Oh, no. Don't mind this WD-40. Well, that seems aggressive. Don't mind the PB Blaster. I like the smell. Somebody could leave the juice from it. Did you grab WD-40 for butt sex? That's weird.
02:46:21
Speaker
It works on everything. That way, you don't squeak. I was going to say, it stops the squeaky noise coming from you. Trust me, it's coming from my butt. I know. That's why he's going to spray it in your mouth about the time it matters. It's like a 50-book, but with WD-40. Welcome back to Nonsense Windows, everybody. Follow us on social media.
02:46:52
Speaker
Pretty much. Where's the link? Where's the link? Link somewhere. I don't know where it's at. I don't know. That's not it. There it is. And read by Connor. It's bio dot related now. And read by Connor. Uh, slash nonsense. Go nonsense. All of our links are there.
02:47:18
Speaker
just follow, like, and share our stuff. Make sure you subscribe and you turn your notifications on. Check out our sponsors. Check out our sponsors and uh, he was doing his best impression of Connor. Or don't, whatever. Whatever.
02:47:53
Speaker
I don't know. I hate to show. You literally look like you're in in in Roblox. You just pixelated like well, it's like
02:48:18
Speaker
I gotta, I gotta be honest with you. I'm just over the internet issues tonight, man. And I'm like, God damn, on a fucking Saturday night of all night. Well, here's the thing. We came back and you were flawless. Like perfect picture. Well, perfect. The only problem of you being in it. And then all of a sudden you just, you got into this Eeyore moment and then you go pixelated. Like you're going to hurt some pixelated sheep and
02:48:47
Speaker
I don't know what that fucking game is about. You're about right. Joe, Joe, Joe, over here, over here, Joe. You really fell off, buddy. You good, buddy? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
02:49:16
Speaker
My kids can't stop playing. And I'm like, you know, there are way better games. Yeah. All it is is a pixelated survival game. Basically. If you play the actual story mode on it, that's all it is. There's a story mode. Yeah. Yeah. It has a story and it makes no fucking sense, but it has a story. No, I have never beat the game because it's like 398 hours of my life. I still want to maintain the sanity of.
02:49:47
Speaker
I'm only that many hours left. Hey, K. Meg. I get it. Dude, I can only pray for a sweet release of a murder suicide at this fucking point. All right. You know what? I know you're not the brightest knife in the knife drawer, but you know, you can't murder and suicide yourself.
02:50:15
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stitch, when is a knife right? Yeah. Look. All right, if I'm bad. I mean, if you want to send light bulb or. All right. Everyone that is now watching this, the only two of you left, just leave. Just just do yourself a favor and go. If you're watching this already.
02:50:41
Speaker
Yeah. Is that is that is your is your knife like there's some weird short light paper? Well, that was the point. It's like saying not the sharpest fan on the fan ball, not the hardest ball in the in the toilet paper roll. You know, it's it's it's it's nonsensical nonsense. Just a fucking joke, but Jeremy, she explained it to him. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm good.
02:51:09
Speaker
I'm good there. I'm good there. You know what? You know what? I don't even want the sweet release of a murder suicide anymore. This right here is just going to put me over the edge as it is. Let's go. Come on. Really? This is what's putting you over the edge? Not. Well, I mean, he probably hasn't watched our Monday show yet. Tell me more. Hey, it's Connor with the hard ER. There you go. This is all three of you. Good job, dickheads. Good job.
02:51:39
Speaker
I got to get on the right monitor. Got to love those similes. Those similes are sons of bitches. I love those memes. Deep down inside, they're from people that wish nothing but. The link is in the chatters box. You guys want to click that link and come up in the studio with us? I see what happened. I think internet issues broke, Glick.
02:52:08
Speaker
He ran out of beer and now he's all upset. He's like, oh, there's a bar downstairs. But I actually have to leave the room. He's texting Nicky going like, bring more beer. Nicky's not even in that bar. She should walk downstairs and walk into the bar with my laptop and be like, microphone. And just continue the show like nobody else is in there except for me. Sparky, beer.
02:52:33
Speaker
You guys are being blessed with the presence of a rock star or celebrity, if you will, a champion. Oh, my fucking god. All beers are free on me. Oh, fuck. It might be a bit free. And these guys. Looks like high beers for everybody. And at that point, the bar brawl breaks out. Just somebody comes up behind him and hit him with my hair. Oh, god. There's a lot on camera.
02:53:02
Speaker
the greatest thing about it was I wouldn't even footage is lucky no the problem is what we wouldn't see it it would just be frozen right it would be like right at his head like this
02:53:22
Speaker
What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong with the licks face? I don't know. Either he's trying to yell at Jar Jar V she for something or fucking he froze again Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar Jar
02:53:52
Speaker
So we were at it, we were at the flea market last week. And there's like the flea market's really cool because they got like all these, like, well, they got all the Funko pops, but then they got like all the throwback game systems and like nostalgic toy. It's, it's, it's like, it's, it's like a nerd's paradise. You know what I mean? It's not, you know, it's not like a, like your normal flea market where everybody's trying to hawk their goods. There's a whole bunch of nostalgic stuff.
02:54:18
Speaker
So I'm walking down an aisle and guess what I find? So you're saying it's not a Mexican America? Did you almost buy a Jar Jar Binks? Not just a Jar Jar Binks. This is a Jar Jar Binks statue that was like this tall and you press the button and he fucking talked.
02:54:40
Speaker
Alyssa, I think I'm tendering resignation to the fucking nonsense. Nikki and I said I found a new house for nonsense nonsense. I said I will just put him in front of the camera and push the button over and out of all the Star Wars toys ever sold. I guarantee you that one sells the least.
02:55:01
Speaker
Probably. The greatest Star Wars character of all time. Suck it. Darth Vader. He's the most underrated Star Wars character. No, I'm not asking you who the greatest Star Wars character is, Jarvis. I'm telling you. No, I am telling you who the greatest one is and Darth Darth Vader. You're cliche to me, Darth Vader. Luke Skywalker.
02:55:24
Speaker
Oh, you're a wookie. Oh, you're a wookie. Oh, oh, wait. You filled up. Hey, Glick, shut up up there. A litter box bag. I didn't. Yeah, Jeff, you need to really give me. I have I have two things to say to all of you. This is a message to all the haters out there. If you don't like what I
02:55:56
Speaker
That's not it. That's not it. That's great. He couldn't even find the fucking one you wanted. All right. You really should just give me perms for the fucking memes. That's all I want is the meme permission.
02:56:12
Speaker
You want me to give you a perm for the Mims? Yeah. Hey, I want you to perm this do so I can stretch. What is probably Mims the rapper. That's what I want. Honestly, that's what I want the next time you're on here. I want you fucking permed out. I know people who will do it. I'll fucking do it. It don't bother me.
02:56:38
Speaker
Do it. Do it. Don't talk about it. Pull on. Pull on Bob Ross. That shit. All right. I can see K. Meg comes on next weekend just over there painting a happy bush. Happy little cheese. We're going to paint a happy little tree right here, y'all. You could have a fucking perm right now, for all we know. We can't see shit because he's sitting in the fucking dark with all the women in cages around him. Oh, my God. That's why he keeps the light off. You're jealous doesn't mean a fucking thing.
02:57:13
Speaker
I definitely don't have a perm. Are you sure? Wait, did you actually turn on the light? Because all I see is it's not a light. What did you do?
02:57:34
Speaker
on the fucking bicycle and said, petal, bitch. Yeah. It's snowing outside them bitches. Haven't even came out of retirement yet. Listen here. It's 2024. Get some goddamn electricity by a fucking light bulb. All right. Hey.
02:57:53
Speaker
Lower wattage, lower bills. In the past three minutes, it's slowly brighten. It's an LED. He's got one of those. That was like when we first came in here. Cause the light bulbs in the hotel. Fucking dome. Yeah.
02:58:20
Speaker
So when we came in, I turned the lights on and I was like, well, there's a lot to be said about the lighting in here. Cause it was like super dark. I said, I'm going to have to go to Walmart and buy a ring light. So I can use it. And then we came back from dinner and they'd all warmed up. And I was like, okay, I can, how much are one of them from Walmart? 15 bucks. And all.
02:58:42
Speaker
Honestly, you can get one that's like this big around and you can clip it right on the side. The cool thing about it is my cam actually has a ring light already around it and it was only like 40 bucks. That makes my wiener look bigger.
02:59:00
Speaker
I don't know about that, but okay. Do what? Yeah. Yeah. It's got 10 times zoom on that bitch. Nice. Nice. Nice. Even at that, that's the women that he's sexting with on his computer. Like I might need him. I'm going to get ready and start. Okay. Yeah.
02:59:25
Speaker
I'm gonna I'm gonna be doing nothing about myself homie I do want to point something out Jarvis when you're streaming you for the love of fucking god stream longer than an hour please Jesus no because I try to get in there to watch it and it's already over and it's like
02:59:50
Speaker
the the
03:00:14
Speaker
Oh, my. Hey, Meg, when you send dick to you, when are we all hands to hold your dick? Oh, my God. No, I I set it up next to a minnow. Yeah, like a really short minnow, you know, and then it looks really big nowadays. My paychecks for Monday's better be getting bigger. Nowadays, you know, women want to see your credit card, you know, with your dick. So I grab the Barbie credit card, put it next to my car.
03:00:43
Speaker
I like it. I like it. Welcome to Nonsensical Nonsense where we now talk about our penises and fucking barbie balls. I put it next to the barbie Corvette so my balls are as big as the fair tire. They're like, Jesus. We got a $100 bill tattooed on my dick. That man went, the bitch just wants to blow $100. I tell her to blow this. Yeah, but it looks like a $1 bill. I know, right?
03:01:11
Speaker
When it's soft, it looks like a tip. Where can I spend a dollar at these days? Well, speaking of tattoos, I got a new one. I got a tattoo. It's a no, no, I got I got a tattoo of of I got when my dick is soft.
03:01:36
Speaker
It's WTP. Glick, is it time to retire yet? It's W-T-T-U-S-S-M. When my dick's hard, it says, welcome to the USS Mississippi. And it cuts off half the Sippy part of the whole of that. Hey, Ryan, how are you doing? Heaven, grab this cat. It's like a 50-foot, 50-cent foot. You just told me to try to grab your pussy.
03:02:06
Speaker
Chef told his son to grab his pussy. Kevin would take out his bucket, take out the trash, and the cat got out, and I grabbed it by the tail, but I can't get him to move. So I'm all about the cat's tail. The cat was literally going to, and I'm like, grab the cat, he won't go backwards.
03:02:31
Speaker
Oh, look who it is. It's Brian. Why don't you come up and say hi, Florida, Brian. Yeah. Florida, Brian. Are you playing in Florida, Brian? Cut face, Brian. Brian that was talking shit that one night and then came in and finally like got on video with all of us. That narrows it down. Yeah.
03:02:59
Speaker
I'll show that's dedicated to people talking shit. Remember that one Brian? No. He just named like every Brian on the planet. It was like four shows ago. The one that was talking about being Blick because he had the belt out. Yeah, it's Florida boy. Oh, the autistic dog. Yeah.
Fan Interactions & Autistic Success Stories
03:03:26
Speaker
No, no. That was autistic kid that was going to be a Brit.
03:03:29
Speaker
No, that wasn't Brian. That was some different kid. Talk about Hodor. No, no, no, no. So the the the Saturday night that we did the show and and we were we were here in PA and we had I think you might have left Jeff, but Nikki went out to the bar like she is tonight and she came back with a room full of
03:03:53
Speaker
like, you know, I told her, I was like, don't do something. Go, go see your friends or whatever. You don't have to sit in the hotel room. One of her friends, one of our, um, but, uh, but, uh, like that was, you would already, she came back in and had like eight people with her. Yeah. And it was, you know, we had this kid that was in the chat and he was talking shit to Rick.
03:04:21
Speaker
And I was like, Oh, tough guy on a keyboard. Bring your ass up here. Oh, come to find out the kid is fucking like 20 in his early 20 and he's autistic. And the next day he messaged me and he was like, Hey man, I just want you to know, I love your guys to show you guys are funny as hell. And I feel really bad for, for going at Rick like that. Tell Rick, I'm sorry. And I thought I said, dude, it's okay. We all fuck with each other.
03:04:45
Speaker
What we did, we just looked at each other's balls. I said, you were just doing the norm. I said, you didn't do anything wrong. Nobody was mad at you. He didn't realize he was really autistic until he followed us. And I went to his page, and he is. And he's like a super fan of WWE. Nice. And I'm like, now I feel bad because I put this kid on the spot. And he showed up and he was talking shit with everybody. He showed up and he was talking shit with everybody without a care in the world.
03:05:15
Speaker
Oh, I'm an asshole. Good on him. Good on Ryan. Go play Call of Duty, you fucking whore. You can call the worst by better. Amen to that, brother. Go do some more talking shite, as you call it. You can't even spell shit right, you fucking go to hell.
03:05:43
Speaker
I mean, it depends on where they're from. I mean, he is from Florida. Yeah. Fucking wanker. Well, let's be honest. It's not their strong. I did not. He started it in the chat. He did. No, I know. He was going after Rick hard. Yeah, I was. I was. Why was he going after Rick, though? Because I don't know. Yeah, like he got in the.
03:06:10
Speaker
and he just instantly was like, who can I target? This motherfucker. Targeted the biggest motherfucker in the group. He's like, I'm going to whip your ass. And like, no, I know. But he was like, but he was like, I'm going to whip your ass. And I'm like.
03:06:28
Speaker
That's a big son of a bitch. I don't know. It's a tall order you got there, little buddy. I'm a skinny motherfucker and I'm not going to say that to some 300 muscular dude. Wasn't that the stream before Connor's surgery? Or was that like the stream after Connor's surgery? Uh, it was after. Cause we were given about putting his, yeah. Cause we're getting shit about putting his Lego that way his fucking foot would quit hurting.
03:06:56
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, you know, I'm a huge supporter. I'm a huge advocate supporter for autistic kids. My nephew is autistic. And, you know, I just want to take one to Vegas with me. Yeah. And I watched and I watched it go from being nonverbal to be a verbal real quick.
03:07:19
Speaker
reenact Rain Man. I would call it a day. I'm definitely going to watch Jeopardy. Jeopardy? Jeopardy's on a 730. I've definitely got to see Wapner. I bought him a little bit of TV, boy. He didn't fuck around. He's like, here's the fucking TV. So, my nephew, my nephew, he's autistic.
03:07:49
Speaker
And when he was younger, he was nonverbal. Just, you know, just that real shy kept to himself that my sister got him into a pretty good school. And, and it wasn't like a special needs school. It was a regular school. They just had good quality teachers. And when the kid graduated, like when he graduated high school, man, he, he it's all into art. And he was in loves video games. And I remember a couple of Christmases ago, we were at my, at my parents' house and he came popping right in. Oh, Chris.
03:08:18
Speaker
Come here, I gotta show you something. And he was showing me his art. We were playing video games on his little handheld device. I mean, like, it's amazing to watch. Well, have you seen that kid? Have you seen that kid on TikTok? He's autistic. He wears headphones all the time because he can't handle major sounds. But he actually makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year taking photos. He actually buys those diecast cars that you see at like Spencer's and shit. And he set them up in a scene.
03:08:47
Speaker
that it looks like it's on the beach and stuff. And he's actually makes these fucking bad ass calendars. He's made like $150,000 a year doing it. Yeah. I'm like, I want to be that kid's friend. You know, I'm a big like I didn't know it. So it was like we were just chopping it up and busting balls. We weren't being mean to the kid. But then the next day and I had to and I told him, I was like, dude, don't worry about it. You were fine. You just did what we were all doing. I said, nobody's mad at you, bro. Yeah.
03:09:18
Speaker
but he's a big one. Why Rick? Yeah, that was the only question. Why Rick? Well, because I think Rick was talking shit at the time, if I remember right. Rick said something. Yeah, Rick said something and then they like triggered him and he's like, I'm going to whip your ass. And I'm like, so it's so normal day. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, normal Rick day. Yeah, pretty much.
03:09:46
Speaker
I'm just saying I wouldn't say that Rick was standing next to me Rick's a big old pussy. He's a big old softie. Don't let him fool you
03:10:07
Speaker
He's not a tough guy. He's not going to hurt nobody. He doesn't cut out while he's fucking. And he's still with Rick's ass. Without even trying. He's going to be like, what the fuck, bro? Hey, hey, Peter's autistic as well, just so we're all clear here. Yeah. Well, Jeff, yeah, Jeff, how many?
03:10:35
Speaker
Uh, no, uh, Jeff didn't get the rain man status. Trust me, I fell really short of that one. I got the one that we started. No, I, you know, it's one of those things like, I'm sure it's, I think what, when you have quote unquote beaten.
03:11:06
Speaker
or have it under control. I'm sure it's just like every day and he's just like, fuck it, I'm gonna shoot my shot and I'm gonna take out that big guy. He's like, who's the biggest, baddest motherfucker in here? Oh, that guy. It's definitely Rick. So I do wanna say this real quick. I have a buddy who streams on Twitch. He's actually doing a donation stream right now for,
03:11:33
Speaker
Make a wish. Shut up, Conrad. I'll beat you. He said, I don't think you could beat autism. You could try. But, uh, but, uh, he's doing a donation for a donation stream for, uh, build a, or make a wish foundation.
Twitch Fundraising & Climate Change Jokes
03:11:54
Speaker
And, uh, this motherfucking dedicated, like his daughter had like,
03:11:59
Speaker
you know, childhood leukemia and all this and she actually ended up beating it but Make a Wish Foundation gave her an opportunity, you know, so he's doing a, he's doing a stream right now to give back to Make a Wish for helping his kid and all this. Right. And uh I think he's up. sure. sure. No, he no, he he is because on Twitch, if you do
03:12:26
Speaker
The thing about Twitch, when you do a donation stream, you never see any of the money from it. Whatever is donated, go straight to the organization. Make a wish. Make my wish come true to have a brand new pickup truck. Yeah. Yeah. It's because I have leukemia. Well, I named my truck leukemia. But he's like $1,340, which I think is pretty cool. No. What's the goal?
03:12:57
Speaker
Uh, whatever he can get. Uh, so basically, hold on here. I'll send you the link. I'm good. I'm going to do it. Jeff doesn't watch Twitch. I'm going to do a donation stream and it's going to, it's going to go to help, to help me, help, help Chris beat the cancer in his life. It's in the fucking comments, but, uh,
03:13:27
Speaker
no it's basically he uh if you donate so calm down there florida brain so he's speaking of the link speaking of links in the chat why don't we drop the most important one yeah the nonsense ones okay everyone calm down the one we know it shall we're saying the what what what
03:13:52
Speaker
I don't, I don't understand how and where, and do you know where you are? Uh, no, I am, uh, somewhere in North Dakota and it's beginning to look a lot like fuck this. That is the one best thing about living in Cancun. I don't ever have to worry about snow.
03:14:14
Speaker
That's fair. And the only problem I'm still waiting for this whole global warming thing there. Keep telling me about. Yeah, no, there's a pan flip of global warming. I'm like, I live in fucking southern Canada. Do you think fucking global warming exists up here? Well, hey, hey, don't worry, Jarvis. Don't worry when when global warming kicks in.
03:14:43
Speaker
You're gonna have ocean property, buddy. Fuck you guys all down south. I'm gonna be fucking living in the new fucking up south. The new south? Okay, we... I was gonna say... Are you saying the south will rise again? In the north this time, apparently. Evidently. You never know.
03:15:09
Speaker
Gentlemen, gentlemen, I have three things to say to what Jarvis just said. I have three simple words to rebuttal for Jarvis. No, drink the bong rocks, or bad. Or drink the bong water, drugs are bad, words are hard. Words are really hard. Just say no.
03:15:39
Speaker
When you're at a gas station and the person says, hey, you want to get high? Just say no. No, that's the best kind of drugs you can get, bro. No, it's not. It's just fucking doobies are the best. Jarvis comes on the show and he's like, I met a new friend at the gas station the other night. Oh, yeah? How'd that go? Well, he said, you want to get high. And I woke up in the back of the stall with my asshole hurt.
03:16:04
Speaker
It's not like KY and fucking burnt rubber in that bitch. I don't know what happened. It smelled like sexy candy. And I didn't get either. And then I have one of those one of those little edible bracelet bands on my wrist, but there was candy on it. All right. So down there, Squirrely Dan. You want me to take about 10 hours of it? Yeah, a little tender offer there, buddy.
03:16:33
Speaker
he he said it was oh my god boys sorry i'm in the oh i'm in a precarious situation very precarious bullshits brian did you offer to get high in the gas station brian
03:16:50
Speaker
he's like gas station doobies what i'm down he said it was a doobie but i had to go into the bathroom stall and wait on the other side of the hole the motherfucker said i'd get free drugs afterwards though i didn't get high i got a mouthful 40 bucks is 20 bucks in this boy boys i came in and said i have no camera i'm in a precarious situation he's in florida that could be any number of things
03:17:22
Speaker
It's one of three things. It's an alligator attack.
03:17:33
Speaker
forcibly doing something that he shouldn't. Or the Cuban cartels there. One of those three. Anything could happen. It's Florida. Jeff, he's here to tell you that the Ponzi scheme has gone south. Don't look at me. No, bro. I'm actually just kicked back in a jacuzzi tub here. See? Yeah.
03:18:00
Speaker
That's what they call it, do they? That's what they call it in Florida. I'm just swimming in a soup of my own stuff.
03:18:23
Speaker
That's what they also say in jail. Those aren't gents. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I wouldn't know about that, Steven. You want to tell me more or what? Those aren't gents. Brian just has gas. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. I got a response from Rick. Oh, God. I will fuck every single one of you up, and then I will face fuck you all with a cactus.
03:18:51
Speaker
Telling jokes on you, I'm into it. Of course, that's the one guy. Buddy, don't threaten us with a good time. We were talking about the dude that came in a couple weeks ago. We were talking to you. And K-Mag was like, of all people, why would he talk shit to Rick? Like, Rick was like the second biggest guy in the room.
03:19:19
Speaker
Like, why would he tell shit to Rick? And I was like, I'm with Rick. That's Rick's usually this close to his camera. Rick's over here, like, swatting his fucking house now. I got something for you, bud. The crazy thing about it is he might be really pissed off at me right now. Oh.
03:19:44
Speaker
He's like, do you know what time it is? I'm trying to put my kids down, bro. I don't even have kids. He's got his gaming headset on. I think he might be playing Call of Duty with his son out on the ground. Shut up. I'm trying to level up my new gun. I'm trying to play though. That's awesome.
03:20:10
Speaker
Hey, game is important the best for you can laugh your ass off at that shit all night long. Dude, there's a tick tock the other day.
Ohio Stereotypes & Humorous Banter
03:20:18
Speaker
I don't know what he just said. All I heard was K mag say, and this is a quote from K mag and Jeff, we need this clip. Game is important. That's all I need to know. Hey, it is done. I want that shit. Audio eyes, Jeff.
03:20:36
Speaker
Dude, there's a video on TikTok. I don't think that's a real word, guys. There's a video on TikTok. This guy, he's walking to his fridge, and his girlfriend walks in, and she is three foot nothing.
03:20:50
Speaker
And then the next video is him picking her up and putting her up against Fridge. I was like, this is not the video I signed up for. Jim's like, what is now this is? I'm like, hey man, stop sending me videos. I just had one question. Those are the best ones, because it's like, there's a murder about to occur here. All of a sudden, Jeff sees the old Obi-Wan in his kitchen. This is not the video you're looking for, Jeff. Amen to that. I just had one question about that video, Jeffrey.
03:21:20
Speaker
I don't want the video, but can I get it audio-alized?
03:21:24
Speaker
That's audio-lized. Can you audio-lize it for me? Yes. I want you to make that bitch loud and proud. We're going to make it a TikTok. We're going to make it a TikTok sound and go viral. Just a bunch of different variations of somebody going, game is important to us. Isn't it, right? Everybody's speech is just like, what the fuck, dude?
03:21:51
Speaker
I think you're the only one who accidentally scrolls through five pages of transport, though. That'd be Jeff. Been there. Done that. Jeff, there's no accidents in transport, man. Jeff was on the show one night. I beg to differ. Hold on. I'm going to send you a video. No, it's just how long he's watching it for. So listen, if you get past the 10-second mark, you're already
03:22:19
Speaker
built into it, so you might as well just continue to watch it, right? Right, you know, I already got my dick in my hand, I might as well keep going. We were doing the show one night, and Jeff was like, I gotta tell you something, I was like, okay. He was like, I accidentally watched four hours of training for it, and I was like, four? That's not an accident, it must be three. Literally called a joke. Hold on, Steven, explain what is funny. Steven, explain what is funny.
03:22:50
Speaker
You know, you might get away with like four minutes for an accidental, but I agree. I'm waiting to hear that. It's going to happen. If I drop my phone in the water, it's going to suck. It's going to be hilarious.
03:23:16
Speaker
for you guys, not for me. We're gonna laugh our ass off. Hey, you know, dropping your phone in there, you should drop a toaster in there. I was gonna say, you go get that new toaster that's got a built-in screen. Yeah. Can I borrow it?
03:23:33
Speaker
That is a shocking revelation. Stacy, bring me the toaster. I'm on nothing again. This is my life now. She would gladly assist in this. She's like, one second, babe. Let me check the life insurance policy. Accidental toaster in the jacuzzi. Yep. She just starts chucking hairdryers and toasts.
03:24:00
Speaker
Hey, ma'am. How did this toaster end up in the jacuzzi with your husband? I don't know. It just magically appeared. Avocado toast, dude. That's what's up. Avocado toast.
03:24:13
Speaker
How did this, this toaster end up in the bathtub with your husband? He was live on nonsensical. Nevermind. You don't have to say anything. Here's the money. Here's the, here's the check right here for him. The podcasters made them do it. We had no other choice. Jeff said he was going to make a vice president of marketing. Yeah.
03:24:40
Speaker
She just runs out of the garage and grabs 40 extension cords. Hey, Alyssa, why did... Yeah, but here she is in the background going, all right, Jeff, what do I do now? Bro! Hey, Alyssa, why did...
03:24:57
Speaker
It's like, hey, listen, why did your husband just walk into the bathtub with the toaster? Oh, Glick said he was going to create a new show and he was going to give my husband full reign. He realized he can't spell shit.
03:25:18
Speaker
Look, at the end of the day, I just wanted to audio-lize it, okay? Make that shit audio-lize. I said audio-lize. That's what we'll start saying for now on. I've uploaded the latest groups. They're audio-lized on all podcast platforms. There's literally gonna be comments on Spotify. What makes you love nonsensical nonsense? I don't know. It actually makes people stupid.
03:25:48
Speaker
Okay, we can say nonsense will come. Yeah. No, no, no. Nonsense. I heard that. Yeah. Well, we know where their minds are. First of all, the first the first Jervis because I was like the first Jarvis podcast that he did after he joined men camp for many was shouting out the show. And he was like, tune in Monday nights for men kissing men. It's a men's mental health.
03:26:18
Speaker
Dude, I got to say one thing. I guarantee right now regrets the day he told me to come on to the show right now. No, no, I really don't. Uh, he didn't lie out of my fucking shows. Do you watch Glick? That's the one you. Whoa.
03:26:43
Speaker
Brian, you're wearing a bikini? How did you get that photo from the back though, Jeff? Dude, how did you get that photo so fast? I didn't even see it. I got a new phone over on Snapchat, and I was like, oh, look at that. Brian. Brian, you're looking good with a bikini, bro. I know what you're calling me on Snapchat.
03:27:04
Speaker
clicks on clicks on fucking Instagram being like, wait, isn't Brian's wife named Sandra? Wait, what's his motto? Stacey. Stacey, sorry. Wow, wait a fuck that one up. Wow, wait a minute. Because he had his girlfriend Sandra on the show Monday.
03:27:24
Speaker
Stacey just sent me a Snapchat as well. Don't worry, Stacey, it's just Connor and Dre. Wow. Oh, dude. Stacey's in her Agent 47 cosplay. No blade, Stacey. No blade. Well, now we know what Brian's into, really, all right?
03:28:09
Speaker
turn on the camera Brian no not on you Brian on Stacy she's way more than you are
03:28:22
Speaker
Stacey, we need to get you on the podcast one of these days. Alyssa's been on the show. Yeah, but you know, I just don't like my face. So I don't like to be on camera. I don't like any of their faces either. So I was about to say you're looking at four of the four. Stacey, you're looking at four of the ugliest dudes in the fucking all a man.
03:28:47
Speaker
Science, bitch. Hey, Alyssa, you want to be on a podcast? Here you go. Stacy, I got to be 100% honest with you. You think I look at these guys? No, I just had my camera blown up so I can look at my beautiful face all the time. Hey, everyone. That's a sad thing. We had to look at your face the whole time. Hey, everyone. Even in comment land, if you want to see Alyssa say, hey, Alyssa, hop on the show. Is this fucking rap concert? Hey, Alyssa, hop on the show.
03:29:17
Speaker
Oh, listen, the comments, the comments said to hop on the show. Yeah, dude, I'm down for a toaster of ads at this point. You know, 20. They actually they actually sell those. Well, this is on the way, everyone. Jarvis thinks he's at a goddamn rap concert in 1995. I'd say, hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, oh.
03:29:54
Speaker
you need me to send you a toaster? No, no. Do you need us? Do you need us? We call 911.
03:30:05
Speaker
If you're being kidnapped and held against your will, blink three times really fast. You guys saw that, right? You saw that, right? Yeah. Call them bitches. I'm calling 911 right now. Texas your address and we'll send it to a wellness check. It'll be all right. Garbage is like, no, no, no, she's my wife. Why does she have a chain around her? And then it'll start playing.
03:30:34
Speaker
Jarvis is like, Jarvis is like, hold on, I gotta hear what they're saying. That way I know they aren't trying to incriminate me. Jarvis, I want to send you a free nonsense one-on-prince video. What's your entrance? Hey, Glick, I'll send you one if I can. I'll send you my address if I can get it. No, no, we can get it. Oh, you get it, yeah. Oh, you guys want to see me drop the toaster in? No.
03:31:13
Speaker
I just found something we need to add to our merch store. Oh, is that one of those bath bombs? It's a bath bomb shaped like a poster. Are you leaving me?
03:31:32
Speaker
Okay, you go back. Instead of it saying the last bath bomb, just saying nonsensical nonsense. And everyone will get it because they're like, this sucks. Yeah, where's Mark? Mark's being lame. Or nobody invited him. We invited Mark on here earlier and he said, I'm playing video games. Oh, was he really? That's what he said. Oh, I told him I was probably going to try to get on.
03:32:00
Speaker
the game earlier and then I didn't. Cause we watched the mold. Yeah. Glitch, check this out. It wasn't terrible, terrible. There's the mold. Those are cool. I'm just saying those are pretty cool. I could probably get those off of Amazon and make them myself. Full size. There you go. Send them out. Full size. Full size bath bombs. Yeah, I agree.
03:32:26
Speaker
wishlist and add some stuff. There you go. Yeah, I forgot I have an Amazon wishlist on my OnlyFans. I can put that on there. There you go. Bath bomb. Put our sticker on it. Get a free sticker with your bath bomb. Marketing went on. That's fucking gold. I can buy them. Full size? You know, I get that 3D printer and we could print out full size ones.
03:32:56
Speaker
Well, what are you waiting on? Oh wait, I already know somebody with 3D printers that could probably do it for me. There you go. I just need a 3D printer. I'm going to need a lot of baking soda. Could you guys send me baking soda? Sure. And can you conceal cocaine in that for me? No. I mean, don't do that. Please don't send cocaine to this house. Please don't. Located at? No. No, thank you.
03:33:24
Speaker
Now she really wants that toaster. Do it yourself murder kit to the house. I can literally just push him under the water and sit on his face. You need to murder your husband at home. She's going to sit on his face. Maybe you guys get offline.
03:34:09
Speaker
How tall is she if he died How tall is she my wife? Yeah tall enough for me five four
03:34:20
Speaker
She's taller than Jeff. She's taller. She's not a midget. Hey, Meg, I'm sorry. God damn it. She's not a midget and she's not amputee and she's not an amputee. Tell them the bitch. I'm taller than Mark. Jeff. So I got a question. Where are you doing midget? You're taller than him. You're also taller than Jeff, Stacy. Oh, sorry, Jeff.
03:34:45
Speaker
I'm not mad. Jeff's five foot fucking nothing. You know what's cool about Jeff, though? You know what's cool about Jeff, though? That's the only guy that can get in that teddy bear costume at Walmart and hug everybody. You have no idea. You know what we need is Jeff and Brian to do a TikTok video doing. I wish I was a ball boy. I wish I was a little bit. I would call.
03:35:13
Speaker
What? Sorry, I lost. His internet died again. I don't know about that. That's when the first time I died. Did it happen? Oh, you know who can play that game, right? Who can play that game, bitch? I'll be right back. Don't threaten us with a good time. It's my goddamn world. I'm just letting you live. Fuck that.
03:35:41
Speaker
It's my show. I'm just saying. Birch coming soon. I'm just saying. Mark's got two of those in his repertoire. One of them is canceled and what was the other one? What was the other one? I don't know but he needs to put more of those in the repertoire. He just needs to hit the button every once in a while.
03:36:07
Speaker
He's working on it, trust me, you know? Literally. Literally. Mark blacks out, like, blanks out the whole screen. Brian was like, bro, you got to do it like Jeff did it. Be better. And I was like, damn. It's simple. Shot fired. That background remover. So. That's fucking fire, bro. Right?
03:36:39
Speaker
Jeff don't get a lot of love, but damn. I'm just saying, I appreciate it. He's not very often. He tells nobody else to be like Jeff. That's the first time ever. Can I get that audioized? You're goddamn right. I'm going to need that audioized tonight. I'll be right back, folks.
03:37:19
Speaker
How many times he says that night and then I try to manifest him not coming back Really work
03:37:28
Speaker
You haven't tried hard enough then. It's not good. That's okay. Like I said, they keep saying it's not good. It's not good. Right? Hey, Clay. Huh? Question. If you smell good food. Is it good food? Is it good or do you think it's tasty? Question because I'm fat.
03:37:55
Speaker
That's a terrible question. No, I know. No, I just didn't. We just dropped off a catering thing tonight. And everybody like, so they were staring at us while we're like setting up the table and everything like, Oh my God, it smells so good. And I'm sitting here going, well, if it didn't smell good, it would probably taste like shit. Yeah. So I'm just nervous because like people never tell me.
03:38:20
Speaker
Like they'll be like, oh, it smells so good, but God damn, they hate babies. What kind of food do you guys do? So we lived in California for like five years. And when we moved back here, Brian ordered carne asada. And hippie food I'm out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So Brian ordered carne asada. Carne asada in Spanish is steak.
03:38:44
Speaker
Okay. So we would go to this little tiny once or twice in my life. I know what carne asada is. You would be surprised when people walk up to the window and they go, I'll take the, uh, carne asada and cheese with no carne asada. I'm like, so you just want a cheese quesadilla. Got it.
03:39:06
Speaker
That would be my son. That would be my son. So I had some kids walk up and order tacos and tell me they didn't want the car. So I said, you wanted lettuce and cheese in that flour tortilla. That's all you want. He's like, no, no, no. I want the meat. I said, so that's steak. And I put right next to it what it is. But my problem is, is like, everybody will tell me, oh, it smells so great. It smells so great. But nobody will leave a review and tell me like their real opinions.
03:39:37
Speaker
I'll review it, send me some. No, you come out here and it won't shift good. You're talking to a guy that hasn't left his house in like three months. You're also talking to a guy who can't come to the face because he has 17 warrants out for his arrest. Only 14. Are they out of New York?
03:40:05
Speaker
Uh, I mean, uh, like a Facebook page. Yeah. Like you can totally go to my Facebook page and read us a link. We, you know what? We've never even seen the link, but we can all go there and leave five star reviews.
03:40:25
Speaker
even though you guys never had my food that's messed up well i'll give it a one star and talk a lot of shit but oh please don't please don't yeah don't hurt me like that you know you know here's what we're gonna do we're gonna go out your facebook page and post this show audio lives that shit i'm never gonna tell you guys i am not telling
03:40:51
Speaker
In all seriousness, what do you have other than carne asadas? Tell me you have more on their menu. We do. So we do like a chicken, bacon, burrito. We put french fries in our burritos. Oh, so you guys do it like sheep, doesn't you? Like San Diego, like San Diego style. Yeah. So and I do a Philly rito, like a Philly burrito. That's stupid good. With peppers and onions, the french fries and everything in it.
03:41:22
Speaker
Um, I do a Cuban quesadilla. Nice. Yes, it is delicious. I have changed somebody's entire premise on Cubans altogether with that quesadilla. So you do kind of, uh, like, uh, like a Mexican style. Yeah, sort of, but with my own like twist on it. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I think, I think you should follow the page and follow everybody and
03:41:52
Speaker
I would absolutely, I would absolutely drop a five star even though I'll do it. I'll do it. You know, Brian says it's good, but Brian, are you saying it's good because he's next to you holding on toaster? I'm saying it's good because I am near way close to 300 pounds, bro. Facts. I would like to, uh,
03:42:16
Speaker
Oh God, I wish I was closer to... I wish I didn't live in North Florida. I wish I lived in South Florida. Oh shit. We're in Central. No, I live in Ohio, which is North Florida. If you've heard of that, Ohio and Florida... Kind of a long drive just towards some carne asada, let's be honest. We've established that Ohio and Florida are the exact same. It's just in the wintertime. It's just a geographic problem. My parents are in Ohio, so I know.
03:42:47
Speaker
You can live you can live in Canada. Canada. In lie and say you live in Minnesota, but you're Canadian. I always said I would never have a Canadian on this goddamn show. Fuck you, Canada, by the way. Fucking kinics.
03:43:16
Speaker
Oh wait, there's three of them, nevermind. Who, bitch? I ain't fucking Canadian, you cunt. Yeah, you're pretty close. I'm 50 miles away. Fuck you, I'm far enough away to still be American, you whore. That's 50 miles too close. You're right, it is. You know, I won't speak for anybody else, but I would absolutely, from the podcast page and from my personal page, drop a five star on it.
03:43:47
Speaker
Do you guys do, do you guys do the thing where you follow them on, follow you guys on Twitter and then you post each day where you guys are located? I don't do Twitter. We do Facebook for the most part. Um, my daughter, well, our daughter, I should say does the, um, she's more mine. Like my mini me.
03:44:15
Speaker
Well, it's a good thing. We don't claim Brian either. I was going to say, it's a good thing that she doesn't look like Brian. No, neither. Neither of the girls look like you. Brian, I hate to break it to you, but there's a reason why they look like the mailman and not you.
03:44:40
Speaker
devilish son of a bitch. Hey, all I'm saying is that a motherfucker showed up one day to deliver the milk to let the kid. That's all I'm saying. I think he left two females. No. He was delivering the mail, all right. That whole package. Yeah, well, he said he's got a package for you. It wasn't meant for you.
03:45:07
Speaker
Oh shoot, I didn't realize your husband was home. I'll bring your package tomorrow. Does he ever deliver to the back door? Wow. Yeah, that's what Brian just said. He goes, welcome to Saturday night.
03:45:32
Speaker
This is a buzzsaw walk into this way. You never know it's going to come out of Jeff's mouth. Don't you know it goes in it? Oh no. I was going to say, the only thing coming out of Jeff's mouth is the smell of Vaseline and burnt rubber. You sound jealous, Brian.
03:45:59
Speaker
Don't worry about what we do on a Saturday night, bitch. Oh, that's right. There's a reason why there's days I jump off early. I'm just saying. Whatever happens, happens. 20 bucks is 20 bucks at the end of the day. 20 bucks ain't going to get you much anymore. And it still gets you a good blow job. All right.
03:46:19
Speaker
From a homeless person? From Jeff? Like, I bet a homeless person. I'm just saying, you know how far 20 bucks will go in Mexico? I love where we live in America. Imagine spending some money. Imagine, what, Jarvis? Jarvis, what were you going to say, buddy? Imagine, you know, 20 dollars to have a blowjob. I get mine for free.
03:46:49
Speaker
Would you pay $20? Is it from Jeff? Brian wants to know if you get them free from Jeff, Steven. Cause that's not fair. I paid him $20. Yeah. But in Alyssa's defense,
03:47:15
Speaker
She is changing what Jeff doing her spare time is none of your fuckers businesses. That's right. You guys sound jealous businesses, huh? They see business like that audio lies too Stacey I just I just want to tell you in advance You think you can get your shit audio lies doesn't mean my shit needs to be
03:47:43
Speaker
No, it all needs to be all audio lies coming out of your mouth. No, no, nevermind. Yeah, I agree. Just make memes of it. Stop that. Let me explain.
03:48:28
Speaker
time out here first of all so first say we all need to be idolized and then you're saying no we don't make up your fucking mind what are you the government
03:48:42
Speaker
I can't make up my mind what we want to do. Well, he can actually make up his mind. Most of it doesn't help Minnesotans. Minnesotans? Wouldn't it be Minnesotans?
03:49:06
Speaker
Minnesotans up in the great wet north country you know up there up there above the rest of your southern foxy you know up there where you know we get a lot of snow in the springtime you sound like a leprechaun
03:49:27
Speaker
I'm going to park the white snow. Fuck part of the city, we're parking the snow, boys. Hey Jarvis, you left this here. Because you're just digging out, old buddy. Jarvis, on every podcast, he's like, swing, boom.
03:49:56
Speaker
Sweet Jamie, don't you both care with me? Poor Jeremy. I just want to throw it out of your eyes. I forgot to put my shovel away, so I was like, oh! Hey, calm down here. I'll kill me for fucking props.
03:50:40
Speaker
Don't worry Blick, you're already a part of my 13 reasons why.
03:50:45
Speaker
Hey, you know what? I'll be a part of that as long as I'm not a part of you showing up and shooting up the podcast. You're like, hey, look here. It's like column by him all over again, except the podcast. So you'll go from 13 reasons why to 13 ghosts. It's nervous for that baby.
03:51:13
Speaker
Nah, we love them. That movie scares the shit out of me. What, 13 ghosts? That movie scares the shit out of me. Both. No, but, but, but, but, but that fucking 13 ghosts, that was the literally scariest effects ever. You jump on two. You used to freak me the fuck out. There's a reason why I don't watch horror movies. So, three stories. I'm scared of clowns.
03:51:51
Speaker
I'm really trying to get over my fears
03:51:57
Speaker
face your fears just look to your left really kind of to my right okay the other one four times really bad you're gonna be getting a visitor soon and he's gonna fuck you with the cactus
03:52:27
Speaker
It's not much for many names, but it rhymes with brick. Ah, nice. Brick! It's apparently my fault, but I told him it's not the worst thing I've caused Jeff to have happen to him, so he's good. I'm just distracted with beer and cigarettes. He'll be fine. Max all bets.
03:52:55
Speaker
It's like doing magic. Oh, you got to do it like the state farm commercial on the fishing pole. Look, I got $1. Just like you want to see a magic trick. Got why I came, but I'm happy I did. Oh, you've had them situations a lot more than you'd like to admit to in your life. You have no idea.
03:53:26
Speaker
I was waiting for a pack of cigarettes on me. Jeff, the lollipop guild does not count. Shut up, K-Mag. Nobody asked you. Much like Chris, I'm the champ of the lollipop guild.
03:53:49
Speaker
They all look up to me. I didn't know we were doing the first thing. I was going to say. Let me explain. Blake can't do a 20-minute conversation without burping at least twice. He's like, that's not true. It's my thing. It's what I do. I like to burp too.
03:54:16
Speaker
Whoa, let's go. That's OK. Brian likes to gargle. Shut up. Yeah, Jeff, look, it was five, maybe 10 times. All right. It was an accident. It was an accident. I forgot to stop at Walgreens today. Damn it. I see the mailman dropped off a package. She needed to get out of there.
03:54:43
Speaker
She had to pick up Brian's meds. I can't do it tomorrow. I got that 12 to 5. She's got that thing to do at that time. Yeah. I have an event tomorrow. I think it has a name. His name is Bob.
03:55:00
Speaker
You have an event that starts at five. You do realize that Walgreens is like 24-7, right? I was going to say. Not ours, not where we live. This shit closes at like nine o'clock. That's because it's Florida and everybody will just steal the entire store. Right? You have an event to do at five. You do know that Walgreens... No, I have an event from 12 to five.
03:55:21
Speaker
Oh, 12 to five. But yeah, I got to be there at 10 a.m. now. I was going to say so. So you don't exist before 12. No, I have to be there at 10. I just look for the fuckers. I haven't had my coffee before. One o'clock. So don't talk to me and don't bother me. I haven't I haven't gone to starbies before noon. Don't talk to me. Ew, who does that? Really? I'm a drinker.
03:55:49
Speaker
I am not. Do what? Do you drink coffee, Stacy? Yes. So if you're not a starbies girl, are you a dumpy girl?
03:56:01
Speaker
No, it crashed. I do not. I do not. I make make coffee at home. I wanted to update YouTube. And I would prefer to go to like the mom and pop places or the food trucks that are just coffee food trucks.
03:56:19
Speaker
And I say food trucks, but they're beverage trucks. I found one here locally, sort of. And I sort of got, I drank the coffee and like, I can still like kind of taste the coffee, but I've had it like two months ago. Jesus Christ. That's really good or really bad. It was really good. No, it was super, super good. And it was just like, when I was once like, you kind of like, you know, you get something you're like, Ooh,
03:56:49
Speaker
I could go for one of those right now because you can still taste it. Like you kind of crave that flavor that it had. And that coffee was like that. I was like, damn, this is pretty damn good coffee. Funny, that's what Brian just sent me on Snapchat.
03:57:03
Speaker
Yeah, first, we're like over one of those right now. We got for you supporting small businesses and local businesses because when K mag standing on the corner, that's what he screams support local businesses right here. No, it's not. I say support local dads, you fucking whore.
03:57:21
Speaker
Well, I'm the whore. You're the one standing on the street corner on a Sunday with your week. I'm a classy bitch. OK, I'm a classy bitch. I don't have a trashy bitch. No trashy motherfuckers. Classy is not one of them. Yeah, I know shit either. We have a. I don't drink coffee, but I don't either.
03:57:51
Speaker
My fiance, we have a local coffee shop in town where we live at there in Ohio and she says it's the best coffee she's ever had. And I shit you not in the morning and I shit you not in the morning. The fucking line is wrapped around the fucking road. And it's ridiculous. I don't drink coffee. The main legal drug. Coffee is disgusting.
03:58:15
Speaker
Oh. Not the Tim Hortons. Not Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons. No. Oh my god, you fucking Canadians. Yeah, that's a Canadian. No, I've, okay. That's a Canik. Oh, that's a Canik. So, let's be honest. Let's be honest. What? So funny story, the first time I went and saw my mom when she moved to Ohio. Tell me more.
03:58:45
Speaker
Now, you don't have to tell me like the exact town, but what part of Ohio do your parents live in? Grove City. No. Grove City. Yeah, they live in Grove City. Oh, no shit. Grove Tucky. Grove Tucky. Is that what you guys call it? Yeah, that's where your mom's your dad, and your dad's your brother. And your grandpa's your uncle, and your son's your son. Oh, no. Yeah, getting a new kid. Funny enough, I've heard Mickey's from MPA. She's from Grove City, PA. But no, I know right where that's at. That's about a half hour, 45 minutes from me.
03:59:14
Speaker
OK, yeah, that's where my parents are. OK, so funny story. Please continue. So the first time we went to their house up there after leaving California. My grandmother.
03:59:29
Speaker
was bringing home Tim Horton muffins for us to try, because we never had them. First time we ever met her, and she fell down the stairs trying to carry the damn muffins up the fucking two steps. Broker collarbone. And broker collarbone. I love when old people follow me. Old people ain't kids. It's hilarious. You're horrible. But the funny joke is, our daughter went to go help her in the door.
03:59:59
Speaker
But we keep telling them that she pushed her down for the muffins. Yeah, had a robin. I pushed her down the flight of stairs too. She was like, oh my god, Tim Horton. Yeah, I don't blame your daughter. OK, that's about the only good thing that came from Tim Horton. Your daughter would love for me to buy her a beer and cheers her. Push grandma down the flight of stairs too. Bitch, really Tim Horton? Get the fuck out of here.
04:00:30
Speaker
Adios. Yeah, she was. She was super excited about bringing us those Tim Hortons and they I don't I think I don't know. Do they make it in the house or do they end up like? No, no they were.
04:00:42
Speaker
Tim Hortons is a chain restaurant and they make it free somewhere and then semi trucks bring them in and deliver them. So yeah, there's nothing fresh about anything Tim Hortons does. Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, so it's like Dunkin' Donuts because all of those here get all their donuts shipped into them and delivered. Yep. So the only thing made there is the coffee and it's gross.
04:01:07
Speaker
And, you know, the only place, the only like major chain donut shop that that makes their donuts in shop. And don't get excited, Jeff, because I know they show the same thing that your wife has for a nickname is a Krispy Kreme donut. Oh, my God. Those are so good. I wish they got it. They got them here. They've got Krispy Kreme here. It melts in your mouth. So our group of Krispy Kreme is two hours away. They have four.
04:01:37
Speaker
They have four in Cancun. When I, when I lived down in, when I lived down in South Carolina. Right? How are you not 375 pounds? When I lived down in South Carolina. I don't leave my house. They don't deliver. So they don't deliver none of it. They don't deliver. I know. When I, when I lived down in, uh, down in Charleston,
04:02:04
Speaker
Uh, I had two crispy creams that I took care of. They were on my route. Yeah. You had some good, you took care of me for no reason. Uh, those lips were a little crispy or, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
04:02:29
Speaker
No, no, don't just get soft and go still after a while. It's horrible. Look, it happens to all men of a certain age, right? As Brian, he knows. That's what she has to go to Walgreens for. She's got to pick up the blue pill. No, I'm going to Walgreens to get the mini Reese's peanut butter eggs in the bag.
04:02:55
Speaker
Yeah. That's what that, that's what they all call them. Yeah. That's what I would say too. Whatever. Now who's holding the toaster? I'm just saying. You're not a sponsor or anything, but, uh, you know, for him once a month and I'll help you with stuff like that. Not only am I the president, but I'm also a customer. Wait, what?
04:03:24
Speaker
I do. I do love those. Those fucking. OK. The Reese's egg. Oh, my God. The Cadbury fucking caramel. No, Cad, Cadbury's are nasty. Oh, those are terrible. It's like, no. Whoever thought of that needs to be shocked. I want to ask you guys a question. Sure. Did you like the Reese's eggs? Are you those weird motherfuckers that are like,
04:03:51
Speaker
When they're in the Christmas tree shapes or the egg shapes or the pumpkin shapes, they taste different. No, they taste different. No, they're just awesome flavor. I think you get more peanut butter and less chocolate with the eggs. You do. The shell's thinner. Yeah, and milk chocolate's starting to taste a little different.
04:04:13
Speaker
so less milk chocolate's better yeah we're not getting it for fucking columbia anymore there ain't no cocaine in that shit please do not send cocaine to this address it will be rejected stop sending me your address dammit
04:04:33
Speaker
First of all, pick up Stacey for actually having an explanation. Jeff, you're a fucking idiot. What are you talking about? Peanut butter and chocolate. It tastes the same. I never said anything. I said it's all the same. You said they tasted it. No, I did not. You said they tasted it. No, I didn't. I said they tasted it. It's audio live. It's awesome. I just said they taste awesome. His name is a regular reason. It's peanut butter and chocolate.
04:05:01
Speaker
Yeah, that's why they're awesome. Why are you dying on this hill? I never said anything remotely like that. You took the bike to the hill, my guy. You literally, I'm going to die on this hill. No, I never said that. I said they're just awesome.
04:05:22
Speaker
I would love to kill you on a hill on a boat with a goat. Hell yeah. Yeah. I would like to kill you on a boat with a goat, maybe on a motorcycle. Oh my God. That is.
04:05:46
Speaker
I literally never said anything. I said just reasons in general are awesome Anything Reese's is awesome. Dude. Have you had the Reese's cereal? That shit is awesome Yes, I just eat it out of a fucking box
04:06:07
Speaker
You can make Rice Krispies treats with it, but not rice with the Reese's. Ooh. Yeah. Rice Krispies, but not Rice Krispies. Actually, Snapcrack Lompoc cereal, Rice Krispies. Just mix that with it. No, no. Use the Reese's. That was too many words to audio-wise. Yeah. Off the plot.
04:06:31
Speaker
I guess something you can analyze. It's right here, K-Mac. Hey, if I wanted to audio-lize a tic-tac, I'd go to the store. Yeah, that fell flat on his face, K-Mac. I'm sorry. That was weak. That was a swing and an homage. Just now. Swing and an homage. Yeah. It was like right down the cock, and then it curved to the outer edge. Yeah.
04:06:58
Speaker
You win some, you lose some, man. You know, they say they say you reach for the stars. If you're lucky, you'll hit the moon. You went in the opposite direction. Bitch, I hit the bottom of the ocean on that one. Yeah. Yeah, you did. Can you start moving off? I would start a movie after that comment, too. I don't blame you. I was asking her when the voice comes back.
04:07:25
Speaker
Chris, when is the boys coming back out? Season five. Is it five? No. Should be season five. I don't know. Chris is searching it right now. July, July is when the boys come out.
04:07:52
Speaker
twenty twenty four twenty twenty five this year the TV instead of a toaster and that's why I was gonna say the voice comes back when he takes the dick out your mouth but hey no
04:08:10
Speaker
We, we were, when we, when Chris and I started watching the boys, we both started roughly at the same time. And we both got to that, that herogasm episode at the same time. And we fucking lost it. We laughed so fucking hard that episode. They really did my man dirty in that episode. Poor mother's milk. That dude. Just, just goddamn. RIP mother's milk.
04:08:40
Speaker
If that dude doesn't kill himself it'll be amazing because that's an end it all moment. Wait hold on before he does send him a nonsensical nonsense toaster bath bomb. Hey man have you seen the show? Yeah I've watched a few episodes. Dude opens the door and just
04:09:09
Speaker
His superpower is a fucking wiener that's like a goddamn snake and it's like... It's not in his! And it's like rubbing on his face and... No, but what's worse is he opens the door and dude lets it loose. And it just covers him head to toe in man butter. Man butter. Oh my god. The man ain't, if you will. Dude, and it does... It's not like a little bit... It's not just a little bit. It's like...
04:09:39
Speaker
Fucking fire hose. So you're saying like full-blown bukkake Yes, you ever seen back draft when Billy Baldwin's got the fucking hose and And Russell's up there going that's my fucking brother. I like that Have you ever seen the Jarvis bukkake stream? Holy shit. I didn't know that was the thing. Oh, it's totally a thing. Hold on Let me Google that real quick
04:10:06
Speaker
Ain't that right, Alyssa? Is that why we're calling it the Jeravishii project now? The Jeravishii show. Hey, it's Jeravishii! Hey! Hey! It's the spicy meat of the moles! Alyssa's like, I don't even know what a bukkake is. You should Google that later, Alyssa. Thank us. We're actually, we're actually shaking.
04:10:29
Speaker
We'll take you in the name of his stream to the Mia GIV. Yeah, poor Elizabeth. She comes across so sweet and innocent and then charges like, here, have the headset. She's just like...
04:10:54
Speaker
If I'm being honest, I literally just woke up from a little bit of a nap right before he gave me the headphones. Oh my God. Yeah.
04:11:03
Speaker
Oh, that's a motherfucker, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. That's why your head hurts. The chain, the chain on her ankle. She got it on camera. Ladies and gentlemen, she was a man. She had chloroformed her and she was coming too from the chloroform. Chloroform will kick you in the ass, won't it? Guys, I figured it out finally. There's not very many lights in there. That's her dungeon.
04:11:55
Speaker
that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's
04:12:08
Speaker
The guy next door's nickname is Video Game.
04:12:16
Speaker
I'm gonna go play video games. The guy next door's nickname is Dwarf. And he likes to drill rocks. I feel like that's what Mark and Brian say when they need alone time. We're gonna go play video games. Yeah, but we play with you.
04:12:42
Speaker
Yeah, you do. I got to go make another fucking drink. I'll be back. Yeah, that's what they all say. This guy leaves more than my father did when he was going to get a pack of clothes.
04:13:04
Speaker
Well, your father kept coming back. I was gonna say, wait, he came back. That's impressive. Came back, take one look at you. And he's like, Oh, I forgot smokes. I forgot a lighter. Should I forgot anything? Oh, my god, I'm late for anything. Shit, it's a hair, press the freckle. I gotta go. They screen shoot it and save it.
04:13:30
Speaker
Yeah, that's what they all say. Screenshot it. Screenshot it. Save it for me. Yeah. You got to save it for me. Yeah. Don't send any selfies, please. I'm screenshotting my wiener pic, Stacy. That's not actually his hand. That's a Barbie doll hand. It's the same one that we've been putting on the cat recently.
04:13:56
Speaker
He's like, give me your phone. Let me see that Snapchat screenshot. Here's it for Brian's Eyes Only. That's why our group chat is called Brian's Eyes Only. God damn it. Great. Another woman's going to make fun of my small being in sausage. Glick, what's your name on Snapchat? Glick? That's it? Just Glick? No, Big Dick, Daddy Glick, 81.
04:14:25
Speaker
What the fuck? Are you fucking with me? No, yes, no. Wait, hold on a second. No, I'm not fucking with you. No, no. In all honesty, in all honesty, it's bearded big guy at onlypants.com. No, that is my Snapchat. That's a good question. I think it's the Glitch Show. It is the Glitch Show. Yeah, I think it's the Glitch Show.
04:14:50
Speaker
It would be the bearded big man at onlyfans.com. And Jeff would accidentally watch it for four hours. My snapchat is, wow. It's Glick Show. Glick Show. Found it. Yeah, you're going to get a lot of big things. Found it. Glick Show. Whole bunch of weird fucking friends. It's under Glick Show. It's under the Glick Show. Yeah, it's at the Glick Show.
04:15:20
Speaker
Hey buddy, we just became friends. I don't know if I'm ready to take it to that next level, okay? Oh, I know. I know. You're gonna be seeing a lot of weird shit for me, my guy. That's not cold water, is it? That's slightly unimpressive, but I'm impressed.
04:15:46
Speaker
That is a big toaster you got there, Brian. Is that one of those four sliced toasters? Is that what that one is? I don't know if that toaster is going to fit in my bathtub. I'm just saying, Brian. Bathtub is just another code word, isn't it? Maybe. On our group chat, what is happening? Who do you think did that?
04:16:14
Speaker
Oh, shit. Here we go. Ryan, give us a wave. Give us a wave, Ryan. Never mind. Close enough. What's going on? Hi, Alyssa. How's it going? Hi. I'm just sitting back watching this all go down. As usual. It's no wonder people are like.
04:16:33
Speaker
I think these guys are nonsensical, nonsense are gay. Glick literally told Brian that he didn't know if his toaster would fit in his bathtub. I think that was a euphemism for his wiener in his butthole. Right. No, seriously. You should run now, Ken, Brian. And I have a small bathtub. It's a toaster oven. Well, you know what the difference between Brian and a refrigerator is? Which Brian?
04:17:06
Speaker
I know I was talking to the other. The refrigerator does a part when you pull the meat out. There it is. I don't know whose refrigerator you've been going to, bud. It's a good thing I'm bringing out the bottle, so. You're going to need it, sir. I'm trying deep right now. This was a Christmas present. This was a Christmas present. I'm just touching it.
04:17:29
Speaker
Oh, I
04:17:35
Speaker
and I ain't talking about it, you're inspired, dude. You were caressing the tip lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it. Yeah, there you go. That's the way daddy likes it. Everyone likes a good tip lick occasionally. Oh, yeah.
04:18:02
Speaker
There you go. Cheers, gentlemen. I'll gag on it, motherfucker. Hey, look, I was central at first. I ain't going with that creepy shit. But what is it? What is it exactly? I'm assuming some sort of bourbon. It's Maker's Mark. Yeah. I was going to say, it's a Brian. Of course, it's either bourbon or smoked meat. No, fucking Maker's Mark's fucking the shit. To the alcoholic room. Clicking Brian.
04:18:30
Speaker
We're both like, make her smart. Jeff's like, what is it? We're both yelling, make her smart. Make her smart. Make her smart. Well, I mean, I have bib and Tucker. I have bib and Tucker smoked pecan bourbon. I have on Metallica. You smoked pecan bourbon's where it's at. I haven't popped this open, so I figured, let me pop it up in a nut.
04:19:00
Speaker
with all with all you with all you misfits hey we are the upstanding class of america right now all right i'm not sure how you spell with you with d-o-n-j-u-i-l-i how do you spell that again what the fuck are you trying to spell brian can't spell he can't even spell shit so ignore him got the eye he adds too many d's
04:19:29
Speaker
I'm a fucking wookiee, you assholes. I'm a sex squad. That dyslexia is a son of a bitch. Right? He said that about the time that he gave me the headset. OK, well, I apologize to you. Listen, fuck you, Jera Vichy. I think he's sleeping, bro. He just saw your comment about the wookiee. He's a fuck you. Look at him. He's touching him. Fuck you, Luke. No, you don't. You go to hell, Jera Vichy.
04:20:00
Speaker
I'll see you at the same time there, Glick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm taking back Jerry Vesey. Now you're just Jarvis again. Plus, I already froze in hell. It's Minnesota. Yeah, you're already freezing in hell, you rat bastard. Yeah, I was going to say, hell's already froze over where the fuck we're at. Wow. I was going to say, it hasn't snowed here yet.
04:20:21
Speaker
Wow, I was enjoying. Well, all day today, I was just enjoying clear skies, sunny and right degrees. Oh, yeah. No, we're about to get dumped on. How about you go fuck yourself? This awesome Texas springtime weather. It's so great. You know, the convertibles are we're driving around guys on motorcycle people on roller blades and hold on. Hold on. I want to tell you something. All right. It was 48 degrees here the other day. And I saw 14 cars.
04:20:50
Speaker
and I counted them, it was 14. With the tops down, rolling down the highway at 55 mile an hour. It's 40 what degrees there? It was like 45 degrees and there was like 14 cars with the top down, rolling down the fucking highway like it was shooting down. Shit, you know what that sounds like? Sounds like fucking hell froze the fuck over. Sounds like it's not my problem.
04:21:12
Speaker
It ain't my problem either. I don't know. My monkey, not my circus. I mean, I mean, I saw motorcycles, people on bicycle. Not my baby, boys. I mean, it was a, it was a perfect day today. No, we hit like 80 degrees. It was hot as shit. But you're in fucking Florida.
04:21:28
Speaker
Yeah but it rained like half an hour ago and it dropped like the temperature dropped and it's chilly. It dropped to 65 degrees fuck my life. 65 degrees is great bro. But it has 59.
04:21:45
Speaker
I mean like I mean like I mean like right now right now it is it's 60 it's 63 degrees outside I have all four windows open a ceiling fan and another fan dude no I wouldn't I would die for 60 degree weather we can't get out of the fucking teens where I'm at Brian said I got all four windows open hey I will tell you right side of the wall I will tell you right now at least the temperatures of a legal age it's 18 Wow
04:22:17
Speaker
Well, fuck that weather. It's snowing. We're due for like a blizzard tonight, tomorrow, and then next weekend. You know, it's a fun time up here. It's 1030 in Canada. I'm in North Dakota. Jesus Christ, how did you find these people, Glick?
04:22:42
Speaker
Glitched me that he don't know. Bad luck. He does drugs, he don't know. It's all bad luck. He's gluttin' for punishment. I mean, Jeff is always in good weather. I am like, the 15th funniest person you know. Jeff is always in good weather. Trust Brian. Brian's traveler, but only on the internet. Fucking August is it's literally you're sitting on the fucking sun. Oh yeah, for sure.
04:23:09
Speaker
that's terrible
04:23:29
Speaker
We took the ferry going to East Lumi Hettis. We hung out there all fucking day, walking around, driving the golf cart around. Yeah, but there's a difference being on the island or in the zone than it is being downtown where there's no fucking wind. Everywhere you go in the hotel zone or in the island, there's wind because you're surrounded by ocean. Okay, I mean, but we're in the northern part. We stayed at the Ryu Palace, Grand Palace. Yeah, we're on the north part. Yeah, the north part of the hotel. Yeah.
04:23:59
Speaker
But it was great. No, there's days in August where it's just like, even going from my house to the store, it's like, you know what? Is it really worth it? I really need the bread. No, it's not even that. It's like, Oh, do I really need cigarettes? Yes, because it saves people's lives because I don't kill them.
04:24:26
Speaker
Every day of the week, I mean we walked like three miles down by we walked all the way down to where the hotel we used to stay at The the paradesis okay, I love the paradesis is nice. I love that hotel dude one of the best hotels I ever worked at was Blue Bay and
04:24:49
Speaker
I saw that when that was on the list, but the other, the other one's called the temptation. Oh, well, blue Bay was adults only too. And literally it's just, you walk in and there's nothing but topless people.
04:25:05
Speaker
it's like a nude hotel basically
04:25:27
Speaker
And then the, and then also nobody cares how much you guys are getting paid by the kid. Hey Tony, you want to shut up for a minute? Yeah. Hold on. We're doing a commercial. Somebody audio lies this. When are you coming?
04:26:18
Speaker
that I've listened to these two hours
04:26:34
Speaker
some of the
04:26:52
Speaker
the the the the
04:27:06
Speaker
So thanks for having me on. Thanks for allowing me to get into this nonsensical nonsense. You're always welcome, brother. Yeah. Don't listen to him, Brian.
04:27:22
Speaker
Don't listen to him. I mean, you will visit Chipotle from time to time just so he doesn't appear to be racist. You're like Mexican. I go to Chipotle all the time. He goes. Yeah, Jesus Christ. So I can follow it. All right. You got it. Yeah. I have to send it to everybody. I will. I'll share it out.
04:28:08
Speaker
I think I think like probably December will be a will probably in order probably for my birthday, maybe
04:28:32
Speaker
that's the right place
04:28:43
Speaker
the the
04:29:10
Speaker
There's three people in that group chat, and you didn't do it. I didn't do it. The math isn't hard, buddy. It's probably hard for Jeff. Hey, math is not my strong suit.
04:29:29
Speaker
Spelling or speaking What do you do if you run out of fingers and toes Jeff is pretty much start over ex-girl Cancun I Only felt the 20. That's it. It's iron 20. Oh, okay. Okay that that explains it all right there. Oh
04:29:54
Speaker
Yeah, see, like being the Jack Sparrow of Cancun sounds a hell of a lot better than a Wookie in Ohio. You know what? You know, you could be a Wookie. You could be just a normal person from being from Ohio. If you if you end your statement, I'm from Ohio. It's not good, bro. Ever, ever.
04:30:14
Speaker
Seriously, Brian. No, I could you not. Yeah. First and say, and I'm from somewhere and Ohio is Minnesota or Texas. Hey now. Hey now. Hey, if it wasn't for Oklahoma Cowboys and mix or for Oklahoma Cowboys and Mexican whores, you know, fucking Texans. That was hard to get out. Well, I fucked it up. I've been drinking. Fuck you.
04:30:44
Speaker
You want this? Yes. Yes, I do. Please. Hey, can you hear me all that to me next day? No, I kid you not. You want to know how bad Ohio is. Every time. Brian, do you remember the old senior frogs? Yeah. OK. So there used to be a bar crawl that I used to go to go with on Wednesdays. And there were frogs in Mount Vernon. Do you remember that? Right off the square? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And it was something else. And it was.
04:31:14
Speaker
Well, it got changed like four times. Dude, it's been changed 47 times since we graduated from school. Well, they literally... We would do this bar crawl every Wednesday. And I worked at the bar crawl, you walk people from bar to bar, and we're at the bar crawl in Senior Frogs, and I shit you not, this woman jumps up on her table and she's acting like a complete jackass. And my buddy leans over and he goes,
04:31:44
Speaker
50 bucks says she's from Ohio. And the dude on the mic, the MC goes, where are you from? And she goes, oh, hi. Oh, and I went motherfucker. Every time I go to see the frog, somebody from Ohio is acting a fool, which is why I stopped going. It's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, she was like one of those Walmart creatures every time I hear that.
04:32:14
Speaker
Yeah, right. Oh, my God. That is the most. Oh, that is the most obnoxious chant in the goddamn world from the moment this fan base on the fucking planet. That's right up there with a go box mixture and sucks. No, it's not Michigan. No, that's that chant is going up the same with that one. Yeah. But it's like it. This woman.
04:32:42
Speaker
I kid you not. Oh, Brian, you in trouble. Brian Stacey just sent me a Facebook friend invite and not from. Oh, Mr. Still your girl, Brian. This woman, I kid you not, she was like one of those creatures you see at Walmart at 3 a.m. and you're just like, good lord.
04:33:06
Speaker
What the short look like her thighs got hit with a shotgun roll of nickels. No, like she was, she was not big at all. She was, she was a skinny little chick, but she just looked like she fell off the ugly tree and then it fell on her.
04:33:20
Speaker
Why? Every branch on the way down and the motherfucking branch. Oh my God. And every time there's some crazy Ohio in there doing something stupid. So I stopped going to senior frogs. I was like, this is not going anymore. Jeff's like, this reminds me of home too much. I got to leave. Yeah. You know, I want to see this. I can just go back to Ohio and go to Walmart. It looks like I'm passing. Jeff's like, if I wanted to see this, I could just go to fucking Glick's house and be like, hey, I've got some crazy people over.
04:33:50
Speaker
We just go to Glick's house and we'll just go in and hang out in Newark. There you go. Newark, get it right. No, I kid you not. People in Ohio think they're so Southern and I'm like, but you're not. Not. Yeah, but as a guy who lived in the South for like 10 years,
04:34:21
Speaker
People from Ohio are definitely way more country and way more Southerner. Oh yeah, yeah, they're they're Southern by by brains and accent, but that's about remember that Ohio borders West Virginia and Kentucky. So we get a lot of that weird inbreeding in Southern Ohio. You know what I mean? Oh, so you're the representative. But but here's the funny thing.
04:35:14
Speaker
he said you're the rep. He's the representative, okay. That's what it is. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
04:35:17
Speaker
It's not a Southern thing. Trust me, we're not Canadian because we have Michigan in between us. And a nice big lake, just say. Most of Ohio is still very rural. So it's a country gap. We're country bumping. Yeah, I know. But they will literally claim, I'm Southern. I'm like, no, you're not.
04:35:46
Speaker
I mean, when people see my tattoo, they automatically know, yeah, you're from Texas.
04:35:57
Speaker
You're the one looking like a you're looking one looking like a creamsicle right now. So, who's talking? No, no, no, no, no, no. Glick is looking like a creamsicle. He's wearing the orange shirt. Oh, he's orange and white in the middle. That's a creamsicle. Them dogs. We them dogs, baby. We them dogs, baby.
04:36:26
Speaker
What did one last year, Brian, we will draw his ass and y'all whooped our ass. So let's be honest. Let's be honest. Whoever won that game was getting their asses kicked and you lost to a rookie. Nice loss to our fifth starting quarterback in a season.
04:36:54
Speaker
And might I remind you a 38 year old on his couch two weeks prior. But, but he does have a credential. He has a Super Bowl champion. I will give you that. He does have street credit at the end of the day. He does have street credit. I will give you that, but that's the only thing that is a relevant story. I want to give you, I'm going to give you your rookie quarterback. Great season, but I'm not going to say anything more about quarterbacks from here on out because we have Watson.
04:37:24
Speaker
Winston in the only saving ring in our quarterback ring is Huntley. Yeah. Do you think y'all would have been better off if they would have made a deal and get Sam Howell instead of Seattle? No. Sorry, Jeff. I know you're not a football guy. I don't know how I feel about Sam Howell. I really don't. I mean, I don't want to shit on the guy.
04:37:54
Speaker
But I don't want to give him too much praise yet. You know what I mean? For for for okay. So for what he has dealt with and endured I give him praise Yeah, like I'm gonna give him credit giving praise But I like and I would and I will say this I will say this a full confidence I had Terry McLaurin and I had Sam Howell and I did win three games with Sam Howell Yeah Well, that's so that's like that's like Jarvis will fucking shit all over Kirk Cousins and it was like dude
04:38:24
Speaker
Look at her cousin's stats. Look what he's doing. Yeah, he had Justin Jefferson. But then look at him in fantasy football. Some bitches putting points up every week. True, but no one has been dubbed the Minnesota Miracle other than Case Keenum. Well, let's be honest, the Keenum brothers are severely underrated. Hey, Case Keenum is a Texas treasure.
04:38:49
Speaker
I said the Keenan brothers are severely under that. That's where Minnesota fucked up, letting him go. Because we had we had a kingdom in Cleveland and he came out there and balled out. Yes, he did.
04:39:01
Speaker
As I said, the Keenum brothers are severely underrated and they should have never, ever, ever, ever been lifelong backups. Those guys should be starting something. I mean, under Gary Kubiak, Case Keenum flourished. And then under Bill O'Brien, Bill O'Brien went full dictator and everything. That's where Buffalo got him, Minnesota got him, y'all got him. But now he's back home to Houston.
04:39:28
Speaker
he's back home in Houston since last year. Matter of fact, I mean, you know, play to get y'all in the Christmas season. And I'll cover that. And I'll cover that. And when Case Keenan was in U of H, he broke every NCAA record while he was at U of H. Mm-hmm. Because the shape from the U. From the U, that's Miami, check ass.
04:39:58
Speaker
the U.S.
04:40:21
Speaker
Let's talk about buttered sausage. Talk about buttered sausage, where it comes from, what it does. Why is it doing what it's doing? Get it out of my face. What about buttered sausage? That's not your jam. It's not your thing. You don't like it? It's not my jam. I don't buy jam. I buy honey and I kiss it on the lips.
04:40:43
Speaker
Yeah, how do you like good assholes? I'm not even drunk and I don't find, I think that's weird. I'm not even laughing at Gary Busey. I'm last, uh, K-bag ad. We added one Snapchat and I'm laughing at her conversation right now. She called me a pussy. I said, you're hot. She a hoe. I said, I treat her like one. Read what I just said, you bitch.
04:41:07
Speaker
Alyssa, I commend you for tolerating this. I have a younger brother. Oh, dude, I talk shit on anybody, family included. I don't. This is a no holds bar with me. All right. I don't give a fuck. It's all jokes. It's all jokes. We come in here. And I think it's, you know, I can see like on her face, like she's going, what? What? The people, the people, the people who get what?
04:41:37
Speaker
They don't understand that. Like, it's just jokes like like just don't take it so hard. Yeah. Yeah. If you ain't got a sense of humor, what? Why are you here? Like at the end of the day? Well, there's a lot for punishment. That's why they're here. Well, like John Travolta said, it's so good for punishment. You have the punishment part right there, Jeff.
04:42:02
Speaker
Yeah, so like John Travolta said in Facebook take a joke He wasn't he wasn't making any statement except for to remind her Kind of want to care lotion on Kind of mood to eat a carrot cake right now
04:42:30
Speaker
Oh, you're my new daddy. Oh, hey, hey. Well, I see. I see. Look, I see. Look, I see your face and I'm thinking.
04:42:44
Speaker
I mean, I see, I see Jarvis and the first thing I think of is Sean white snowboarding, except I know Jarvis is not that coordinated. So we got to turn her back about 10 notches. All right. All I need is look, all I need is your husband. I need your race to say, I, they took my lucky charms in my life. Sure.
04:43:09
Speaker
She's dying! She's dying! You're curious yourself. Here, you tell him that, Brian. Yes? Say they're always trying to take me Lucky Charms. They're always trying to take me Lucky Charms. Cheers! Cheers!
04:43:37
Speaker
Not me being Irish, it's just I know how to say it in Irish. It's your face, your face, your face. Emma, you're always so aggressive.
04:43:57
Speaker
I would not buy non-sensical nonsense for a dollar. I'd give you 25 cents for that shit. Emma's profile pick just acknowledges that we're number one in her eyes. Wow. He might be faster than Connor at the end of the day. Welcome back. Would you like to come up and hang out with us? Congratulations, Brian. You beat Otter in the race. Cool.
04:44:27
Speaker
Connor said, I'm going to go get laid and came back 10 minutes later. He was like, oh, bro. No, actually, Connor said his exact words, I'm going to go get my dick wet. Yeah, and they got in the bath. Yeah, and Jeff said, are you in the bathtub? And then 10 minutes later, he was back on his bed. He had a pet name, virginity, and he lost it. To Rosie Palmer, $5. It's a horrible story.
04:44:58
Speaker
the the
04:45:21
Speaker
The next one's gonna be a dick pic. I know what the next text back is gonna be. And I already know my response.
04:45:32
Speaker
I feel like Nikki's down here. Hurry up. I'm talking to her friend who comes to visit him every time we come to PA and we're at a hotel. Dude, just have the threesome and get it done and over with and fucking quit.
04:46:04
Speaker
I already got the okay. I already got the approval. Well, she's coming to bed tonight making a thing. Tell her yeah, she can cuddle up next to you and your old lady. Well, actually we have
04:46:26
Speaker
one bed and she's not going anywhere because she is hammered. All right. See, it's a win-win situation for you. She ain't going to remember that tic-tac anyway. Just, yeah, I was going to say, get that consent form signed. Hey, if Nikki has to forge it, it's okay. We understand.
04:46:50
Speaker
First and foremost, most women don't remember. I make that a point. That's how chloroform usually works. They already wake up in the morning traumatized by the fact that there's a Sasquatch or a Wookiee if you're racist laying beside them. I don't need to traumatize them anymore.
04:47:11
Speaker
Yeah, that would, yeah, that would give a case, a heavy, severe case of PTSD. I do agree. I mean, I suffer a week to week just by looking at you already. That's why there's, that's why there's medication. How you doing? My name is Glick and I'm the definition of a coyote ugly.
04:47:33
Speaker
I know many women that when I met them, they had two arms and now that I see them out in public, they only have one arm. It is what it is. Maybe suicide might be the better option.
04:47:46
Speaker
You know, I would never promote suicide, but if you're a woman and you've had sex with me, you probably better. I get it. I understand. That's a good one night with you. We know abstinence works. That's my pickup line. Look, it's closing time.
04:48:16
Speaker
I know you're pretty hammered. You could even have said closing time. You know, he does sound pretty tempting. I could just see. I could just see Glick over in the corner just singing. It's closing time. He just stands outside and holds the door open. I'm your Uber driver.
04:48:39
Speaker
do you like chocolate chip cookies? they'll move me in the back with the fresh batch smell this and tell me if it smells like chloroform if you have an uber driver that says hey smell this here take this asper don't mind the where it says we're hitting on it if you fall asleep within five minutes you won the prize
04:49:02
Speaker
Let's be honest, gentlemen, we've all been at the bar closing time. And we all know how 4-4 works. No other guy hit on her, no other guy talked to her. She's like, hmm. You know, there is something to be said about the girls always look prettier closing time. I'm just saying. That's right. It's the next morning.
04:49:28
Speaker
I just figured it out. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I just figured it out. That's why Nicki drinks. So he did good.
Podcast Lifestyle & Dating Humor
04:49:36
Speaker
I get it. Oh, my God. You mentioned what I look like at golden time. I don't like these inherent Henry Cavall. I don't know. It's like Brett Favre. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm just saying he looks like fucking Henry Campbell. He looks like fucking Brett Favre.
04:49:54
Speaker
I put on, I put on orange and green and then Jason Momoa. What's up? No one, no one even run out of their mind. No.
04:50:07
Speaker
Jinks. You do not disrespect Jason Momoa like that. The only way they're thinking you're Jason Momoa is if you got a rag and you're walking up behind her and be like, do I look like Jason Momoa to you? Wow, Jason Momoa got re-vigaligo.
04:50:29
Speaker
I'm just saying two o'clock in the morning, I could be just, I could be Momoa's twin brother. Two o'clock in the morning at the bar. Hi, I'm Jason Momoa's twin. Like wow. Jack brother fucking bread. You're pasting white. You can't be confused with Jason Momoa. Chris is like, no, I'm not Jason. I'm Brad Momoa. How you doing? I'm Brad Momoa, twice removed. You're better off wearing a white robe and a stick going, I will lead you to Mordor. I mean, what the fuck?
04:51:02
Speaker
The only way people would confuse you for Jason Momoa is if you stopped by Spirit Halloween first. I'm not Brad Momoa. I'm Mason Momoa, okay? Second of all, Brian. That sounds classic, like a motherfucker. Brian, first of all, yes, I stayed at the door at the bar at 2 a.m. with a big stick and go, thou shall not pass.
04:51:33
Speaker
This is so all over the place. I'm confused. I don't know if we're going to lower the rings or if we're going to Moana at this point. You've been on this show how many times and you're confused now? No, I'm not, trust me. But I'm just saying, I don't know if you should have a hook. You said Moana, what do I say? Do I stand by the door and go, I got the hair, the bod? You're welcome.
04:52:01
Speaker
You are kind of a cartoon. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on, hang on. Just because he said that, I need to erase that. If Glick's any character the Rock ever did, Glick is the guy from Central Intelligence in the beginning. That is the Rock character you are, Glick. I have to get going. I have to go fix my air conditioner.
04:52:28
Speaker
I love you. Love you Jeff. Any Disney character, he would be uh the chicken from Moana. No. No. If if if if Glick was to be an anime, if Glick was to be an animated
04:52:56
Speaker
I've never seen that one yet. I was gonna say he looked he would look like a less hunchback Quasimodo. No, he looks like the dead off of brave if he was the animated character. How many Disney movies have you watched Jarvis?
04:53:21
Speaker
You should get educated, because if you haven't saw Brave, you haven't watched that many, little son. I'm sorry. Yeah. I only watched the old ones. Don't feel bad. I only saw the first How to Train Your Dragon. Well, I only saw that one, too, because that was the best one of all of them. Oh, Steven. I know.
04:53:52
Speaker
Trust me, Brian, I know. Brian, it's a culture issue and he has no culture. Oh, you're one to talk about being cultured? What do you want to talk about, bud? And I'm going to take a wild guess. You never saw Frozen either? I've seen parts of Frozen. OK. You want to build a snowman? Hey, I like warm hugs. It's all right.
04:54:23
Speaker
Yeah, fuck yeah. Come on, let's go and play. God damn it. Now you got that song stuck in my head and I didn't even have to hear the song get cunt. Hey, it's okay. Okay. You're welcome. Glick, if I don't show up on Monday, it's probably because I hung myself. Hey, now we're on a Disney kick, Glick. In case you couldn't tell.
04:54:51
Speaker
I mean, I mean, like, um, what was the one that that was like the Rapunzel one? Tangled. Tangled. Yeah, that was a nice one. I only watched that movie because a nurse I was interested in. She was one of my favorite movies. So I did that for Browning points. Glick's trying to get a threesome set up. I know. I know what that motherfucker's trying to do.
04:55:17
Speaker
God, that rock star podcaster champ lifestyle. Yeah. They're going to find him one day when he's eight years old. These muffins are magical, ladies. I mean, if he goes out with his boots on, I give him credit. You know, I left his hat on. Hey.
04:55:47
Speaker
I'll be a goddamn rockstar at that after the first and foremost. Second of all, I go out like a fucking rockstar on a three-day bender in a hotel room.
04:55:57
Speaker
And they find me on the fifth day. I become a fucking urban legend that other podcasters talk about and are like, Hey,
04:56:20
Speaker
fucking urban legend. They're like, you know, I don't know the fucker would be like one of the hair bands that died in a hotel room from OD and fucking AIDS. Fred knew this podcast host, right? He'd be one of the hair bands that no one remembered and then all of a sudden they're like, wait, he was a podcast host?
04:56:44
Speaker
Oh shit. That was a everyday fucking bender, bro. And he went out like a goddamn champ. They found his body decomposing with a championship belt on his shoulder, man. Well, mine is a championship belt. That's how I want to go. I want to go get some bitch on my face. My boots on.
04:57:02
Speaker
You know what the sad thing is when they're doing your autopsy the only way they can identify you is Cowboy boots a cowboy
04:57:20
Speaker
We don't know who this guy is, but he was a goddamn rock star and he's a fucking legend. It takes like a year for them to positively identify you just by the fucking belt. I've seen this belt somewhere before. Where the fuck was it? So they're searching all the old podcasts they watch. Are you really scared of the fucking snow storm we're not going to get?
04:57:44
Speaker
Uh, you better be careful what you wish for there, old son. No, they've been saying we were supposed to get dumped even on fucking Thursday. Yeah. They said that about us, but it's snowing over here right now. So I think this weekend might be, uh, I'll keep you safe. Yeah. Hey, I want to see that actually. I want to see. Easy there, buddy.
04:58:11
Speaker
Oh, whoa. What happened to K-Mac? He was like, I want to see that. Easy there, Glick. I'm just saying. All I said is that I would keep her safe. I mean, there's snow and there's no snow in Ohio. But no one would have to kick me completely out of here if you don't like what I say. You can just time me out. You know that. Yeah, you did it. I didn't do shit. I didn't do a fucking thing.
04:58:38
Speaker
I thought it was Jarvis. I thought I fucking offended him again. I have no, I don't have any of the admin privileges for this. Thank God. Ooh, that's nice, bro. Now you can claim you're the ruler of Atlantis. Wait, did you send him a picture of the Triton? He did. It's a Triton pendant, yeah.
04:59:04
Speaker
can I wear that with my moneer? And I could be like, I'm the ruler of Asgard and Atlantis. How the fuck would you get ruler of Asgard from a pendant of Atlantis? That's not what he just said, you dipshit. I wear a moneer every day. Yeah.
04:59:33
Speaker
And then when he does get laid, he'll be like. Thank God, I'm half fish. I can breathe underwater. So you recognize that smell.
04:59:57
Speaker
Yeah, I know, I've been with a few women in my time. Hey, I walked past that fish market that day and I was like, good morning ladies.
05:00:09
Speaker
Oh my god. What the fuck? The tuna salad is for lunch. Nah. It's more like two day old salmon but other than that. For lunch and start to eat it. I should call her. Right? Right. I didn't know she was a donor.
05:00:30
Speaker
Hey, hey, don't knock a cold body to try a cold body. All right. I'm sorry, Alyssa. I humbly apologize, Alyssa. No, you don't, Brian. Shut up. This is part of the show where our viewer average has now fucking pretty much told the podcasting network to avoid the show.
05:00:54
Speaker
I mean only on Saturdays only on Saturdays. I invited people over here I was like Saturdays might not be the day you want to watch the show. Oh, they're like, oh shit fucking k-mag invited us. Yep, definitely unsubscribe. I love you, bro
05:01:12
Speaker
Jarvis, that's what you get when you invite people. I get people involved. I'm like, Oh, please. I'm like, listen, you stupid waffle cup nuggets. Come watch this fucking show. Because they probably look at, they probably look at the invite and go like, yeah, no, we already know it's going to be shit. I mean, I took a shit earlier. I, I wiped my Jarvis and flush my Glick. But other than that, we're golden.
05:01:43
Speaker
You know what Jarvis? We don't have to stand for that bullshit. We'll get rid of that guy. Get him out of here. I mean, most of the jokes are from Joe Dirt anyway, so you know. Not really. The host. The hosts. You do realize that joke's been around longer than Joe Dirts actually been out, right? Where is Connor? Just so you. Oh, shit. I meant to say that earlier. God damn it.
05:02:13
Speaker
of the
05:02:35
Speaker
It's like my parents, my in-laws don't know I do this dumb shit, so. Connor basically lives in Ohio. He's from Indiana. He's from Ohio, but he lives in Indiana right now, so. No, his parents, his parents drove the whole hour and a half over there. He was like, he was like, bro, my parents drove hours. And I'm like, you live an hour and a half away. Shut up.
05:03:04
Speaker
I mean, it's a shorter, it's farther away from where we live to Cleveland or Cincinnati to where you live. Like such a poor ass. Tell your mom I said hi, by the way. It was like, book you, Blue. Damn. Be like, fine, I'll tell your mom I said hi, send her a message. Connor's saving up everything until Monday. It's gonna be like, I have to talk about something. I feel that's him every Monday night.
05:03:59
Speaker
I have severe pressure
05:04:06
Speaker
but you brought it up. So I feel like it should be. Grinch pajama pants. I would do the wrong way. Pajama pants. I think he got me Sasquatch pajama motherfuckers. It's 11 o'clock at night. If I can't wear pajama bottoms at 11 o'clock at night.
05:04:26
Speaker
Yeah, but you were on the show at seven o'clock and you've been wearing this outfit the whole time. Hey, it's a fucking weekend. I'm sorry. I took the robe off and put on a t-shirt. Christmas Sasquatch pajamas. And I love them. The pants are great. The shirt, awesome. But Jarvis, and I've been avoiding this all night. And Alyssa, I hope you're listening to this because this is more directed at Alyssa, not necessarily Jarvis, but she's married to him.
05:04:53
Speaker
Why would you let your man wear Grinch pajama pants and a polo shirt? She has no choice in what I wear. You know this, Glick. You've known me for how long? Okay, okay. And you're asking my wife. Hold on, the top head says I'm here for business. You got a permit for that gun, buddy?
05:05:31
Speaker
I don't know if I should wear shades or not.
05:05:42
Speaker
Dude don't feel bad. I tease my dad all the fucking time like years ago We all had a we like my dad wanted to go on this fishing trip So my older brother was like yeah, so we all were down in Galveston. We're about like 15 yards apart and
05:05:57
Speaker
the the
05:06:20
Speaker
One time when I was in high school, I was coming home. I didn't know my dad was off. I unlocked the door and all of a sudden I see like this white street going by and I'm like, go Grease Lightning. I'm like, go Grease Lightning, go Grease Lightning. I love that you do the dance, Brian, because I always feel so gay when I do the dance. Grease Lightning, Grease Lightning, go Grease Lightning.
05:06:53
Speaker
But yeah, but no it was like I just saw I just saw like a white blur the moment I opened the door I'm like go grease But when they tried to make the grease to movie and it had nothing to do So let me say this because I love both reason I love
05:07:16
Speaker
I just had a goddamn stroke. Don't worry. I've been having a few tonight, but I love both movies. I love both movies, but here's my thing. Grease one was a better movie, but Grease two had a better soundtrack. Yeah, I did. I give you that.
05:07:41
Speaker
I haven't seen Greece too long, so I'll have to rewatch it. Plus, seeing Michelle Pfeiffer doing things to that, I've never wanted to be a ladder so bad in my life. It's kind of like... Oh my god. Right. Sorry. Let me check my memory banks. Just you two.
05:08:01
Speaker
I apologize, Alyssa. Hold on. Glick's like, hold on. Let me check my spank bank, Michelle. Dude, that's like top 10 right there, bro. I never wanted to be a fucking aluminum ladder. That's like 90. I mean, no, no, no. I mean, the moment I hear Michelle, five, six.
05:08:22
Speaker
Yeah, that's that's that's like my that's like my it's a it's a close time. Have you never seen the original Dukes of Hazzard? Dukes of Hazzard was Heidi Klum had nothing to do with the Dukes of Hazzard's Borough. That was Catherine Bach.
05:08:38
Speaker
Yeah, it was Catherine Bach and uh fucking and then the remake was justice Simpson. Yeah, okay. I don't know. I had a clue Mendez is still fucking hot. Oh, Catherine Bach still looks good to this one. Yeah. She does. I mean, she lost some weight lately. Linda Carter, the original Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I was saying earlier. I'd be happy to call her mommy.
05:09:03
Speaker
That movie, um, I was like, and I was like, Holy shit. I had forgotten Rebecca DeMornay was in identity. And then I was looking at her recent. She's 65 years old. And that's a good looking woman. Dude, Jennifer Aniston's fucking. Oh, Heidi. Heidi Klum is doing lingerie photos with her daughter. Yeah. I told, I told Nick, I saw it in a catalog. Nothing more.
05:09:31
Speaker
I told Nicky. When Nicky and I were going to Quaker State and Lou and I was, we were talking about that movie. I did. Yeah. You were going to get some Quaker and Lou, weren't you big boy? Rebecca DeMornay. And I was like, and I looked at her and I said,
05:09:50
Speaker
Risky Business, Rebecca DeMornay, made me a fucking man. Oh my god. She made me a man in that movie. And she was like, you are so dumb. I can't stand you. I've never seen that movie. I mean, like Rebecca DeMornay and Risky Business or What's Her Name and Fast Times and Rich Mon Hi. Those scenes are just like magical. Oh, Bill Gates.
05:10:23
Speaker
But then and then Nikki and then I'm looking and they're like I'm scrolling Nick He was like, oh she was great in the hand that rod was like, oh I forgot she was in that she's kind of but Jesus out of me Risky risky business is all that matters
05:10:36
Speaker
I know that's all that matters, but she scared me in a good way. Like that was like, I'm scared, but I feel dirty. You know what I mean? Let's say Rebecca DeMornay and risky business or Natasha Hentridge and species. Natasha Hentridge and species. Oh yeah, I'm going Rebecca. No disrespect to Natasha, but she weirded me out when she was right in the middle of banging that dude and she turned into an alien. Wait, hold on. Can we get the top half of one and the bottom of another? Is that a thing?
05:11:09
Speaker
It's all or nothing because god damn it because she's great but came eggs like not my fantasy because every time a woman rides me I'm afraid she's gonna turn into an alien halfway through it. I mean
05:11:32
Speaker
I mean, if she turns into alien, at least, hey, you still went out with your dick wet. So, are you losing or winning? Glick. Glick. Natasha Hentridge and species are Rebecca Romain Stamos as Mystique from X-Men. Rebecca Romain Stamos. Thank you. I mean, she does look good in her Starfleet uniform too.
05:11:55
Speaker
I mean, I mean, honestly, she could be a mistake or she could be anything else that I could imagine. Sorry, Alyssa. Yeah, like, I mean, Rebecca remains. I don't know if Alyssa is listening, but she is. I think Rebecca remains. OK, here's one for you guys. I offer I was smoking meatloaf as an apology. You smoked a meatloaf.
05:12:24
Speaker
he's the chick from the chick from uh the chick from Resident Evil. What's her name? Um from what? Jill. Uh Jill. Oh, no. Uh Mil Mila. Mila Jovovich. Jovovich. Yeah. Mila Jovovich. Resident Evil. Who played Alice? Oh, yeah. Or or or Kate Beckinsale. Underworld.
05:12:45
Speaker
Oh, that's a hard one because I love both those movies. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Equally hard. Kate Beckinsale underworld slash Van Helsing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would say, I would say, no, no, no, no. Or Kate Beckinsale underworld. That's your options. All right. I'm going Kate Beckinsale underworld. Fuck you guys.
05:13:10
Speaker
Something about time. No, no, no, that that's fair. K. Meg. I mean, that that's a fucking toss up. You're not wrong with either choice. No, no. That's the thing. But you have to do what you got, Brian. I was going to say Mila Jovovich and days and confused or Kate Beckett's tale in seredipity. I'm going to go with days and confused on the days and confused. Yeah.
05:13:38
Speaker
All right. All right. There's a name for y'all. I just choose to type it. Ah, we're set. As far as the underworld, uh, resident evil goes, I'm dropping an inverse card on them.
05:13:55
Speaker
and it'll be like three some time ladies. Let's go. That's why I said can I get the top of one in the bottom of another? Even even if you claim you're liking that still is a no go. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing I didn't like about the red. I'll be a zombie. I'll be whatever those two want me to be in those movies. The only thing I didn't like about the Resident Evil movies was what they did in number two.
05:14:25
Speaker
I I on it. I honestly did a movie discussion. Jarvis, we're talking about you're talking about who the fuck we would fuck if, you know, we could talk about your choice. We don't give a damn about how bad I got my lady a choice right here. Oh, my God. That's such a pussy move. Give her the headphones. I got a question for her. Give her the headphones. Alyssa. She's listening. She's listening. You're that. Ask her. Ask her.
05:14:54
Speaker
She can hear you. She's on the other tablet. Bradley Cooper and anything he's ever done or Brad Pitt, namely anything he's ever done. Who are you choosing? Bradley Cooper and anything he's ever done or Brad Pitt and anything he's ever done. Who would you choose? And I'm only thinking Bradley Cooper because I just watched the A-Team today. That's funny to ask, Mary. The TV show is still better.
05:15:20
Speaker
No one will be better than Mr. T as B.A. Brackus. I don't give a fuck about Rampage. Rampage did a good job, man. Rampage did good for what they gave him. Hey, but that's not what we're talking about. Back to the subject in town. Bradley Cooper or Brad Pitt? Which Brad are you choosing? Bradley Cooper or Brad Pitt? I choose neither.
05:15:39
Speaker
She says neither. She's lying on her ass because she don't want to make you feel bad, Jarvis. We understand it, Alyssa. We know what you mean. How is she going to make me feel bad? I already know I'm not good looking like they are. I mean. Like, how is that a flex? OK. What kind of flex, man? It's OK to say. Hey, Steven, we already know you don't look good enough, so we're not going to hurt your feelings. It's OK to say you've got a short dick. It has nothing to do with that. No, it's not bad. Everybody has. Like, I mean, they're select.
05:16:09
Speaker
I mean, like Nikki, like Nikki's biggest, like fucking, I'll be honest with you in the nineties when I saw fucking Shania Twain.
05:16:34
Speaker
I know they I know they're huge fans early 2000s I would I did not even know Alex Trebek was Canadian but now yeah, I
05:16:48
Speaker
I will take another thing with Alan Thicke. I never knew Alan Thicke was Canadian. Oh, really? You didn't know that? No. But I will take another Canadian over Britney Spears and that's Avril Lavigne. Britney Spears is from Louisiana. Britney Spears is from Louisiana.
05:17:09
Speaker
and I'd still take Avril Lavigne over both of them. She is a dirty girl. She would do. She would do pretty serious. It's just crazy. Christina Aguilera would do just dirty things. Killin' to chime in, Alyssa. Feel free. I mean, Avril Lavigne, I feel like the name. What's the name? Freaky bitch. Well, she's also wallared out. I know what's the name. Through what now? Avril Lavigne is wallared out because she had Chad Crowe this 14 and a half foot cock in her.
05:17:37
Speaker
Well, you know, I got a list. I know why everybody hates Nickelback because fucking Chad Kroger's got a goddamn elephant trunk in his. Everyone hates Nickelback because they think they're cool. They hate Nickelback. That's the only reason why they say they hate Nickelback. Those are jellies because it's like a photograph. Swinging a goddamn. Every time I see it makes me laugh. I was fixing to get with you on that, right? When you said that, but then click started talking.
05:18:07
Speaker
it's time to say it's time to say it's damn Connor McGregor can act for a ship but he can really kick the fuck out of people in this movie uh well Connor McGregor is a MMA fighter so hopefully he can do the one thing he's GSP GSP did a hell of a I think out of all the MMA fighters that try to act yeah GSP and Captain America the Winter Soldier that's like by far the best yeah
05:18:34
Speaker
the fifth
05:18:54
Speaker
Every time I see Ronda Rousey try to get that serious pissed off look I just it's funny. I'm like, I just want to squeeze it. She's like, that's so cool. Right? That's like the cheeks and pouty lips. Literally. I want to hang out with Ronda Rousey. I bet she would be really fun to hang out with and not a sexual thing. But I bet she would be really cool to hang out with. Do you know what? Hey, Misha Tate, I love to hang out with.
05:19:22
Speaker
Yeah, there's yeah. Was she the one that ended? No, Holly. Holly Holmes. Holly Holmes. Holly Holmes looks like another one that would be really cool to like Mischa Tate. I like I would love to go to a bar with me. Well, first and foremost, if I go to a bar with Mischa Tate, Ronda Rousey and Holly Holmes, I'm starting a fucking fight with everybody.
05:19:45
Speaker
When, when is Connor McGregor's next fight? I think, I think those three ladies would actually be really cool to fucking hang out with. I think they would be, you know what I mean?
05:20:02
Speaker
So far out of all the tattoos I've seen on all the female fighters, Amanda Nunez has the best tattoo. Great tats, bro. Yeah. She's got that one that's like a gladiator arm sleeve shield. That is by far the best tattoo I've ever seen on a woman. There's a Russian chick. That's an MMA fighter. She's a fucking pumpback.
05:20:29
Speaker
It's like she's a dirty fucking fighter, but she's got some sick ass tattoos too. I can't think of her name. She's all over YouTube shorts and stuff like that. I can't think of her name. I was going to come up with some weird Russian name, but the only thing I come up with for last name was Malika Bitch, so. No, she's got some. Yeah, Nunez has got some pretty cool tattoos.
05:20:53
Speaker
Yeah, but that gladiator tattoo, I love that one. I'm like, that is so badass and original. Actually, in all honesty, of all the ladies we mentioned tonight, all the women we mentioned tonight, I know we were being kind of dirty, but I think they would all be really cool to hang out with at the end of the day. Oh yeah, without a doubt, yeah.
05:21:16
Speaker
Yeah. Like, Hey, let's go grab some beer. Next thing you know, it's like, we got six bottles of tequila. And I'm like, I don't even drink tequila, but apparently I end the night with Mila Jovovich and Kate Beckinsale. And they're
Podcast Dynamics & Movie Critiques
05:21:29
Speaker
going to be like, we're going to scissor kick you in the next week. And you're going to be like, my mouth is open, honey. Of course, I would have to ask Kate Beckinsale, be like, what was it like to sleep with that fucking weirdo from SNL Pete Davidson? Like.
05:21:44
Speaker
Is he is he slinging a hammer? Because look at you and look at him. You're like the buck. The rumor is that motherfucker does have a fucking meat hammer on him. Do you have the hottest? And now we're. I know the gay side.
05:22:02
Speaker
No, we're not. It's not the gay side, Jarvis. Do you know who Pete Davidson is? Yeah. He's the one that dated Kim Kardashian and Ariana Grande. He's on SNL or he was. Yeah. All right. Now you look at his woman takedown list. Okay. And tell me that motherfucker doesn't have a fucking swinging meat hammer. I mean, I could look at his list and not think about it.
05:22:30
Speaker
Well, but that's just me. Cool guy in the room, everybody. All right. So anyway, the non. Well, I mean, I mean, David, Pete Davidson was like on a 90 day probe, like he's on a 90 day probation, like on a job deal, but apparently he failed because she would see now she would to go pick OBJ. I mean, in all fairness, though, Kim Kardashian did pick a lot of NFL football players.
05:22:59
Speaker
No, just athletes, just athletes in general, but the thing about it was, the thing about it was I took a lot of heat on Reddit when they said Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson split up and I just went, oh, the 90 day trial period ended. Kim Kardashian, she has a preference.
05:23:24
Speaker
a little bit. You know, and then there's Pete that like O.B.J. Brandi's little brother. Nobody knows what his name is and no one Howard and the runner Reggie Bush. Yeah. And, and, and, and he Davis scrawny ass. Bro, like,
05:24:07
Speaker
I don't know if it's the dick that got her to Pete Davidson, or if it was that, you know, she's like, Oh, hey, he's more famous than Kanye right now. I'll go over there. Pete Davidson's not more famous than anybody. No. He's not even happy, so she can't even use the excuse that he made her. Pete Davidson's in the live movies. I'd be kind of embarrassed if I'm going to be a spokesman of Taco Bell, though. I mean, hey, you can be in five movies and still make bang. Oh, you're not wrong, Brian.
05:24:15
Speaker
after she was with Kanye she had to be with someone that was at least a little bit sane
05:24:36
Speaker
I think ultimately at the end of the day, she's just looking for the next guy that's going to. As a member, as a member and founding or as a founding member and president of the TPG, I agree 100% is all how you use it and not the size. And if you don't know the TPG is, it stands for the tiny pecker games. That's right. I know. So that's why you're doing yoga to be more flexible.
05:25:01
Speaker
You see my fat ass. Do you think I'm fucking flexible? That way that way you'd be like like Carl Weathers like it's all Hey, trust me, it's not it's not the big game that keeps on coming back you see the racing stripes
05:25:25
Speaker
I got those happy Gilmore to happening. That's the one thing I'm gonna hate that chubs ain't gonna be in it chubs died in happy Gilmore I know but ultimately you still couldn't bring him back in happy Gilmore to as his spirit guide Bring him back
05:25:43
Speaker
Why don't you and why don't you and Jean go and start yourself a movie show? All right. We're not talking about movies right now. We're talking about my small Peter. Okay. Sorry. I mean, hey if Jean could get me some of that actors and actresses that he's been promising Mark and Brian, I'll happily start a podcast with them. If Jean can swing me Danielle Harris, I'm in. I think he could.
05:26:10
Speaker
Sorry, Alyssa. But he goes to all them fucking conventions, so that's why he could probably do it. I'm probably fixing to hop off here and go to fucking bed. I've had a good fucking five hour run. Wow.
05:26:31
Speaker
Yeah, he's been on here for since almost damn beginning. The funniest thing though is like I've been on a binge watching of Star Trek Enterprise and then all of a sudden I hear bleep, bleep. I'm like, oh, oh yeah, Saturday. They're on tonight. I streamed for 10 hours straight before I got on this motherfucker.
05:26:53
Speaker
I've been looking at computer screens all day long. I'm on season two, episode 14 of Star Trek enterprise, but I'm done with strange new worlds. I'm done. I'm about to start. Well, after I get done with the enterprise, I'm going to start with Picard or discovery. I'm not sure just yet. Brian's supposed to be one of my co-hosts on Monday night. You all have an amazing night, y'all.
05:27:24
Speaker
You too, Preston. Are you streaming tomorrow, Preston? Uh, if I don't have to work, I will be. Okay. I'll try and catch your stream. If you're all longer than an hour, I'll try to catch yours. Trust me. I will be streaming. Oh, what the fuck? Glick, you don't get it. Oh, erasure. What came in?
05:27:52
Speaker
All right, but y'all have a great night. Have a good night, brother. See you later. Much better. Yeah, much love. I'm actually not even. I'm not tired, but at the same time, I've been watching The New Roadhouse while you guys have been raping my wife. I'm not raping your wife. I said you're raping. I'm not raping. I'm not your raping your wife.
05:28:21
Speaker
No, no, I'm apologizing to her for all the all the nonsense we're talking about. My wife hears this from Mia. Here's all this stupid shit for me. She said she says she has a name for us, but she chose not to type it. I'm curious of what that word is. I would like to know what it starts with a C and ends with the UNT. Why don't you just say? Who's the cut? Because just to show a cut like the cut profusely.
05:28:50
Speaker
I mean, maybe you never know. Who knows? I'm actually not even remotely. What are we? Are we like are we just courteous, unforgiving? I don't know. I might be centering my resignation now. I'll try to do the whole acronym, Dave, without laughing. Oh, fuck. I'll try to do the whole acronym, Dave.
05:29:21
Speaker
Some bitches. Some bitches. I'm not holding anybody hostage here, Alyssa. You choose to listen and Jarvis chooses to be here. I mean, I've I don't choose to be here. I work for this company. I just don't get paid. Technically, if you say you if you want to call this work and if you want to call yourself an employee,
05:29:51
Speaker
technically you're only employed on Mondays outside of that you choose to be not like yours and your wife's where you keep where you keep her chained to a radiator and she's only allowed to motherfucker i don't keep my wife chained if it anything i'm the one that's fucking chained
05:30:19
Speaker
So you don't want to be there, huh, Jarvis? No, I'm not saying that. Why are you blinking three times? She's watching the show, Jarvis, and she's looking at me. No reason. I'm not blinking. I can't see right now. I'm blind. I'm sleeping on the cold out. Thanks to me and my big mouth. Why did I do what I did? John, where's the dog? Where's the dog?
05:30:48
Speaker
What are you buying for a dollar once you like to know? It's a quote from RoboCop. I was watching the RoboCop. So what I like to do when I go on car rides and trips is watch movies while I drive. So I finished watching the A-Team and then I put the RoboCop remake on or reboot.
05:31:12
Speaker
That remake wasn't that bad. No, no, no, I'm just saying it wasn't as bad as what people said it was. But I think I think I think Joel Kinnaman is awesome. And you put him in anything I'm watching. I think I think there are some movies that you should not just touch to a reboot or anything like this new upcoming crow that's coming out. Thank you.
05:31:42
Speaker
the the the the the the
05:31:59
Speaker
Yeah, nobody would have a problem with the fact that you're disrespecting. You're disrespecting Brandon. You can't buy shit for a dollar anymore. You can't even go to the Dollar Tree because the Dollar Tree is no longer the Dollar Tree. It's a dollar twenty five tree. Me and Glick were talking about the whole crow thing. And it's like, you know, there was so many different names they could have used, but it's like it's Hollywood. They can't come up with anything fucking else. It's like that's a character even. And that's what I said, you know.
05:32:29
Speaker
Let's, let's, let's all pump the brakes and let's calm down. I'm not bad. But however, I agree. They didn't have to remake the crow and do Eric Draven or anything because the pro franchise from jump street was never meant to be Brandon Lee in every movie. It was meant to do exactly what it did.
05:32:50
Speaker
Yeah, so I mean with the whole it has no good ideas So let's and that's what and that's like I haven't watched it yet, but I want to watch it Everybody's all pissed off about Roadhouse. This Roadhouse movie never claimed to be a remake It's a reimagination of Roadhouse The only thing that this movie the new Roadhouse and the original Roadhouse have in common is the main characters last name is Dalton's
05:33:36
Speaker
the the the
05:34:09
Speaker
that's all he wants
05:34:12
Speaker
the the
05:34:35
Speaker
Remake if that's what we're gonna call it. It looks nothing like the original and it's fine by me Just like Glick said the only difference is the character's name is just like it was in the original Dalton Yeah, but then also too man, it's just it's just come on man like have a different character that Lee just leave they were just leave the original don't touch it and
05:35:02
Speaker
I mean now if it would have been like they had an actual name for Dalton in the original like Dalton Johnson or something and the main character's name was Dalton Johnson. He did the exact same thing. Just instead of Dalton just name him Malcolm. Okay no we don't need all the other people in the world going like oh it's a woke movie now.
05:35:27
Speaker
No, you know, that's what they would do. You know, that's what this world would do. No, no, no, no. Yeah. I mean, there are white guys called Malcolm. There are white guys named Malcolm. I mean, think about you got that. You got you even got the TV show Malcolm in the middle. There the defense restaurant that I never watched it. The defense restaurant are no further questions.
05:35:52
Speaker
so I mean but it's just like certain movies that just just like certain movies just leave alone just like with all these horror movies they they after a while they have to keep bringing them back in order to make their money I mean but my only thing is though is like if you have a really if it's written very very well nobody would have a problem
05:36:22
Speaker
like red dawn they remade that movie when that movie the original was spectacular
05:36:49
Speaker
versus if it's written well, you don't have to worry about that. That's why they do so well, like six feet under Game of Thrones. You know, I mean... And Glick is going to come back and we're going to hear Glick go Sasquatch on us. No, but I'm just saying, I'm just saying, if they took the time... I love you, bro. I love you, bro. If they took the time to write it out, all the movies will be better.
05:37:15
Speaker
If they took the time to write it out, good dialogue and everything, and it's not forced of an agenda, then you would have, you would have like less blowback. Yeah, but that's not Hollywood now. Hollywood back in the day used to make really good movies. Now, like you just said, it's, I shouldn't say it's all the movies they make, but most movies now they have to have an agenda to them. Yeah, but I mean, but it's just sad, but it's true.
05:37:46
Speaker
Like with the new Ghostbusters movie I can't wait to see that movie and I forgot I didn't even know it's in theaters now I forgot that it's in theaters and you can go to I'm checking it out next Friday You can go to the theaters and actually get a popcorn like souvenir thing that looks like the thing that captures the ghost Ectoplasma the echo. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah that go trap. Yeah
05:38:11
Speaker
no, I mean, but I mean, yeah, I mean, it's just the new Ghostbusters. I'm looking forward to that. I'll see that on Friday. But Dune, I want to go see the second part of Dune. But a lot of people say, oh, my God, it's so long. I'm like, yeah, you got to have the. They could never sit through a fucking Martin Scorsese Scorsese film. Isn't isn't Batista in the new Dune movie? Yes.
05:38:42
Speaker
He's supposed to be in a few new DC movies too. Oh man dude Batista is killing it. Yeah he's doing it the right way where the Rock is. I like the Rock when he first started doing Hollywood like when he did the Scorpion King it was pretty cool but he just any role now he'll whore himself out to it.
05:39:02
Speaker
Yeah. And the thing about it is, I mean, like, I know he works hard, but the thing is you already, you're already established. You got the league going. It's like, take a, take a couple of years off from doing a show or a movie, focus on the league, take a break. I mean, cause just like this was at the superhero fatigue. I think everybody is having the rock fatigue. So even, even me as a fan of the rock, I'm getting worn out.
05:39:43
Speaker
I'm Groot. I'm Groot. But I mean, but I know, I know, I know. But I mean, but overall, though, I mean, it's just. I think there's a lot of things with a lot of things now.
05:40:00
Speaker
But then again, in order to get along, you got to go along. So like I said, I mean, it's just like we're Roadhouse. Like, leave it alone. I mean, Patrick Swayze is dead. Just leave it alone. When they tried to make the sequel, that one wasn't. I was like, really? You're going to try and make a sequel, and it's Dalton's kid. Yeah. And it's just like, really?
05:40:31
Speaker
the the
05:41:02
Speaker
which kickass was a good movie. It's just. Well, I mean, OK, with Henry Cavill, he is a big monstrosity of a man, so it'd be kind of difficult for him to be bond. He's really not that big. I don't even think he's six foot tall, is he? I mean, no, I mean, I'm just saying, like, he's like he's too big. He's big. Yeah, yeah, he is. He is pretty jacked.
05:41:32
Speaker
the the
05:41:47
Speaker
but the thing about it is that he's like too muscular but I mean... Yeah, he's a... Yeah, he's a... Because even like on fancast on Reddit, they're like saying, the guy that plays Jack Reacher, they're like, could he be James Bond? I'm like, God, no, he's a monster. He's a monster of a man too. Well, not only that, but he's American. Either way, but the thing about it is, he has the look.
05:42:11
Speaker
But the thing is he's tall and he's too muscular. I mean, come on What a bad guy be like, you know what? I don't want none of that. That's cool. No big deal. At least like when they saw Danny Craig Okay, at least I have someone I don't think Robert Moore was a small guy. No They're just like the only the only bad thing with Roger Moore is those movies got funnier and
05:42:35
Speaker
to the point where once they got rid of him and they brought in Timothy Dalton to do like two movies because they couldn't get Pierce Bronson yet. I mean, we had already gotten that angry version of what Daniel Craig gave us back when Timothy Dalton was the character. I mean, I was thinking like if anybody was to, okay, here's my list of names that would be a good James Bond.
05:43:03
Speaker
I would say he would be a good candidate, but I think he's up there in age now, but which is a, um, Oh my God. He's one of my, one of my favorite actors. Uh, Guy Pierce, he gets, he did the hurt locker rules of engagement. He played the lawyer in rules of engagement. No, no, that's guy Richie. Oh, my bad.
05:43:28
Speaker
But so it's like so it's like you know i would say timothy charlemagne but however though he's too skinny But if they were to do the origin of james bond and tip tip timothy charlemagne would be the guy I was just about to say when you said once you named him I was just like I could see him doing it, but yeah, he'd need to bulk up a bit
05:43:49
Speaker
But people be like, Willy Wonka is James Bond not buying it. They needed to leave Willy Wonka alone too. There's only one fucking Willy Wonka. At least with this Wonka, I really didn't mind this one because this is like how Wonka got started versus the other versions where he was already established as Wonka. Gene Wilder will always go down as Willy Wonka for me. I don't know why. I never cared for the movie, so.
05:44:39
Speaker
they were that they were kind out there
05:44:43
Speaker
At one at one time at one time at one time I was thinking Michael Fassbender Yeah But he's up there in age, I mean Tom Hardy would be a good choice Oh Tom Hardy would be a really good choice. Especially after what he did with Bane Yeah, cuz he's six foot and he's he's got a tone build. He would fit the role perfectly. Oh You learned to live within the dark. I was molded by the dark. I
05:45:12
Speaker
Yes, to be uninitiated. But we are initiated. Aren't we, Bruce? Dude, how he fucked up Batman, like I literally believed Batman wasn't coming back. The League of Shadows. Like he literally grabbed him and just fucking right on the knee and it's just like, yep, you're not coming back from that. What would breakfast your spirit or your body?
05:45:43
Speaker
No one cared who I was before I put on the mask. I don't know what if it was Wednesday or what day it was, but I was watching the guys and I think it was Glicker. It was Jeff tried to do a bane impression and it was actually really good. I was very proud. Or maybe he's even Connor. No, I'm not buying it from Connor. Wait, what?
05:46:12
Speaker
Being impression on Wednesday That was my dude. That was pretty that you're you're on You to stand on ceremony, mr. Wayne Don't do impressions. So when I do them, it's just out of Hyperboli or satirically or I feel like we needed and I was literally I like I got the beer can and I was
05:46:42
Speaker
There's no need to feel a doctor that comes later No Wednesday night was weird like we had fun Wednesday night, but I I was gonna jump in but then I was like No, they're having fun without me
05:47:02
Speaker
the the the the
05:47:31
Speaker
Yeah. Jarvis was paralyzed. Connor was sick. And we clapped up with Mark and Brian from talking shit. So I told Marcus that I'm sick as hell. Jarvis isn't going to be here. I don't know about Connor, but I'm going to try to power through.
05:47:55
Speaker
And Mark was like, nah, dude, he's like, let's just reschedule
Podcast Partnerships & Future Plans
05:47:59
Speaker
it. I had kind of a bad day. And he said, let's do it Thursday. And I was like, all right, we'll rock it out Thursday night. So we did the men caring for men Thursday night. And it was a good show. I mean, it was a fun show. I knew Mark was going to open up. I knew Mark was going to talk about some things. I was really shocked that Brian opened up. I did not expect that.
05:48:23
Speaker
But out of that show, we are probably going to do a lot more stuff together on Monday nights. I like that. Also, they're going to do a vet show in May around Memorial Day on Thursday. And then that following Monday will be part two or continuation onto our show of the vets, the vet show and the conversation. Yeah, we're still hanging out. We've got a few more minutes. Bathurst, check your emails.
05:48:52
Speaker
Check your emails at Bathurst if you scroll up There's a link in the chat if you want to click on that and come say hi We got about another 10 minutes or so before I got it in this but Check your emails Bathurst Part two I'm actually gonna do something else so Okay back it sail yes but but we got about another 10 minutes before I got it in before we got to wrap this up, but I
05:49:21
Speaker
No. So, uh, you know, the, the collaboration was really good with Mark and Brian. I think there's going to be more stuff done, not necessarily on Mondays, but just in general with Mark and Brian from talking shit. Obviously we got Jarvis on this. So, I mean, we're already doing that partnership with, with the cherubishi project, the Jarvis podcast and, uh, Jarvis demon on Twitch doing his gaming. So, um,
05:49:50
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I think it's, I think it's, you know, things, big things are happening around here and I'm enjoying it, man. I'm having a lot of fun and, and, and, you know, I'm, I'm just trying to keep my head above water at the end of the day. Let's be honest. I forgot to change my name back. So people are going to be like, what does he mean by Jarvis? Most days I feel like I'm drowning, but this is, this is that, uh,
05:50:17
Speaker
that lifesaver at the end of the day, this podcast and doing these podcasts. So I don't plan on going anywhere soon. And I'm enjoying the ride because after almost three years, putting in the hard work, putting in the sweat, putting in the blood, putting in the tears and driving, driving, driving, it seems like it's finally starting to prosper into what I wanted it to be at the end of the day. So. Mm hmm.
05:50:47
Speaker
So yeah, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of crazy things went on in my life. And like I said, most days I feel like I'm borderline drowned in it. And I come on here and it's like, I get tossed a lifesaver for, for a couple hours, you know, for a couple, few hours, a couple of times a week, there's a lifesaver. That's depending on who joins the show. You need a hug. What I need is a face to punch.
05:51:12
Speaker
no you need a belly rub and be like good boy we're gonna rub our bellies together right like a bunch of buddhas rub like rub your belly who's a good boy who's a silly puppy yeah yeah who's a good sasquatch yes you are yeah you shaggy meansy thing you i wish i would have kept that wookiee fucking thing that i gave to you
05:51:43
Speaker
But yeah when tick-tock Like I got that message that tick-tock was like giving me a warning. I'm like for what? So I don't know if someone hacked my shit and said some shit, but I was like, okay That tick-tock would have give you a warning I mean not let's say we're mad at the fact that your camera's dirty as shit and you hold it so close to your face and
05:52:24
Speaker
that this is the
05:52:38
Speaker
When, when K megs like, Oh, I'd watch your stuff. I was going to say, Oh gee, that'd be a first. But it's like, I don't do that shit for like W is I just do it because it's calming. The confidence and you can disagree with me if you want, but I watched you grow in the last few months. You've got a new level of confidence. Use that same confidence, back your camera up, clean it off.
05:53:03
Speaker
And you're in rock out a fucking TikTok video, man. Like, I know you can do it. And I know it'll be awesome. And I'm not sitting on your TikTok videos. Trust me, you should see some of my first page and go look at my first few TikToks. It was trying to learn.
05:53:21
Speaker
Like I Alyssa one days like you know when you and Glick hang out in real life for you and Brian Hang out in real life for you and Jeff hang out in real life for you and Connor I'm like, oh, yeah, we'll just be Stan. They're going like yeah, we're from nonsensical nonsense. And if you don't like it, fuck No, no, no, no, no if all the if all this met up in real life if all this met up
05:53:45
Speaker
we'll be looking like the intro king of the hill. That's all what we'll be doing. That's I mean, come on. Let's be up. Let's be on here. Alright, man. You start this with nothing. You will leave with nothing. So, learn to enjoy the right name. I'm going to check your email. I guarantee you I ain't going out with nothing. I'm a champ for a **** reason. I'm
05:54:14
Speaker
You'll only be a champ until the fucking first pay-per-view. I am THE motherfucking champ. Because Mark even asked me, he's like, Mark's like, if you trained for like a full five years, do you think you could take Glick in a wrestling match? I'm like, I'm like, I could probably hold on until I got on the top rope, dived, he moved all the way and then I landed on my knee and that'd be it. You know, I don't want to sound like it.
05:54:45
Speaker
You can sound however you want. I don't know how to take down the big guys. That sounded wrong. I'm not trying to sound like a tough guy or anything like that, because trust me, I'm not thinking you can't handle your own. And I don't think Brian can't handle his own. Here's the thing you have to have in the back of your mind. You can do all the fun stuff you want to do.
05:55:13
Speaker
but as soon as these bear paws are put on you, much like Mike Tyson said, we all have a plan until we get punched in the face. Once these bear paws are put on you and I have ahold of you, you're gonna go,
05:55:27
Speaker
dumb ways to die. No, it's going to be like people are going to be watching it and like I'm getting in a few good offensive moves. And then it's just like, are you not entertained? You tripped me. And then it's like, well, he was doing pretty good up until that point, Alex. Fucking. You just see Glick lift me up. Like, Hey, you guys want them? Just hurls me into like the fifth row. No, I like my fighting days are.
05:55:58
Speaker
way past me. When I say I got five good fights left to me, that's no joke, man. That's God's honest truth. I got five good fights left to me and maybe four at the end of the day. I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of nobody. I could, I could see Leggy during like the pay-per-view have like a mask on and just
05:56:24
Speaker
Come in there into the ring pin us and we're just like wait Who's this person takes off the mask be like who's the real champ fuckers and blinds everybody? Yeah Like she's just like I'm the champ now Now I know I click where's the sunglasses at night No, no, no, no like I don't confuse beer with a newfound respect
05:56:51
Speaker
I'll get chloroform, make lick pass out.
Pranks & Pop Culture References
05:56:55
Speaker
By the time he wakes up, he'll be like, where am I? And then I'll be like, cargo bay door opens. I'm like, hey, ready to go skydiving? I'm strapped to you, buddy.
05:57:04
Speaker
of the
05:57:22
Speaker
He'll be all like why am I wearing a flight suit? Why why am I wearing a harness and I'm gonna be like, hey Welcome to skydiving. I'm your tandem instructor and I'm attached to you fucker You see that cargo bed door open and I swear to you I would he was shitting piss himself Like I feel I feel like I'm gonna wake up in a plane naked strapped up naked Brian and it's you know, like lady said sounds kitty like I Met you
05:57:52
Speaker
Leggy, in all honesty, doesn't most of the shit we say sound kinky as fuck. All of a sudden, I hear wild horses playing and I'm like, Oh, that's he wild built me. It's six oh eight a.m. What are you doing up? Oh, yeah. Not grand as a new as a new episode, I might have to watch that tomorrow. What?
05:58:22
Speaker
the grand tour. Well, gentlemen, much like Voice to Men said, we have come to the end of the road. It's so hard to watch a Star Trek now to yesterday. Voice to Men probably just watched that clip and are just like, oh my God, Sue them. It was at the end of the show.
05:58:48
Speaker
the the
05:59:04
Speaker
It's going to look like two grizzly bears. Yeah, no, I'm not. She's not even here. God knows when she'll be back. I'm going to go try not to. You know what? I'm just going to think I should listen to. Thank you guys for hanging out to check out the bio dot link slash nonsensical nonsense for all of our social media. Give us a call. Give us a listen. Give us a share. We greatly appreciate that.
05:59:29
Speaker
the the the
05:59:58
Speaker
Appreciate that. And bada-boom.