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Glick's Comedy Lounge: Kevin Holly
10 Plays2 days ago
Tonight in the debut of Glick's Comedy Lounge, Glick hangs out with his very good friend and stand up comedian Kevin Holly for a wild ride of comedy, stories from theroad, behind the scenes stand-up chaos and the kind of Nonsensical bantr you only get in the Lounge. No scripts. No filters. Just laughs. Late nights. Loose mics. Pure Nonsense.
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Transcript
Welcome to Glick's Comedy Lab
00:00:19
Speaker
Pull over chair, grab a drink, settle in.
00:00:23
Speaker
Tonight's where the stories and the nonsense begin.
00:00:29
Speaker
Comics and friends, yeah, the mic's turned on.
00:00:34
Speaker
Half the jokes playing, half totally wrong. Backstage stories, things we shouldn't say, we're gonna laugh about them anyway.
00:00:46
Speaker
welcome to Glick's Comedy Lab.
00:00:51
Speaker
Hey, pull up
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Speaker
a seat, stay all night long. Tell a great story, sing along to the song.
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Speaker
Tell us how it went down.
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Speaker
Guess on the couch with a wild tale to tell. From the road, the stage, or a barroom, hell. The crowd's getting loud and the stories get strange.
00:01:43
Speaker
No scripts here, just the truth and the laughs. And maybe a roast if your cross-clicks pass. Welcome to Glick's Comedy Lounge, where the jokes go out and the laughs get loud.
00:01:59
Speaker
Hey, pull a seat, stay all night long. Tell a crazy story, sing along to the song.
00:02:09
Speaker
Whoa, tell us how it went down.
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Speaker
Late nights, lose mics, stories all around. You're hanging out tonight at Glick's Comedy Live.
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Speaker
to Glick's Comedy Live.
00:03:12
Speaker
Pull seat, stay all night long. Tell crazy story, sing along to the song.
00:03:51
Speaker
What's going on everybody? Welcome to Glick's Comedy Lounge right here on the Nonsensical Network. The only place where the jokes are questionable. The stories are probably a little bit exaggerated.
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Speaker
And the mics, you know, they're definitely loose. I'm your host Glick, your tour guide through tonight's nonsense, bad decisions, and comedy chaos. This is the lounge where comics come to tell stories they probably shouldn't.
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Speaker
laugh about things, they definitely got them in trouble, and give you a backstage pass to the world of stand-up. Grab you a drink, get comfortable, and buckle up because the lounge is officially opened.
00:04:35
Speaker
And if you're not already, go ahead give us a follow. Like, share, subscribe, follow that link. All them links are there. Tonight's guest, some of you guys have may have seen him pop up randomly. Some of you guys may know him from the...
00:04:49
Speaker
Old days, if you were around, ah when I was in the garage doing Lord knows what. ah Or sometimes, you know, just hanging out with this guy randomly while he confessed his love of Nickelback.
00:05:05
Speaker
From selling Dolphane Cruises to a slightly below average podcast host to an even more questionable, even more mediocre internet radio host,
00:05:18
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where he screamed and yelled about chemtrails and pedophile gorillas to comedy stages everywhere, the one and only.
Introducing Kevin Holly
00:05:29
Speaker
I don't call him my friend. i call him my brother. Kevin motherfucking Holly. What's up? What's up, Greg? Holy shit. I shaved your balls for this tonight. I shaved my balls.
00:05:43
Speaker
Yeah. I thought it was a little drafty, and I thought that I seen a little gnome running around here earlier. but That was me. It was me. I'm sitting on a phone book right now.
00:05:57
Speaker
He's sitting on a booster seat that he stole from Chuck E. Cheese's. It's my third booster this year, dude. The joke is he's not allowed within 500 feet of Chuck E. Cheese's. It's 300 feet, dude. Get it right, man. Oh, my bad. I didn't know.
00:06:13
Speaker
Oh, what's up? like Put that hat on backwards so you can see me better, man. What's up, dude? I'm looking for you. Where you at, buddy? I'm right here. What's been going on with you, man? How you been? the as As our good friend Stand Down Deo said Saturday night, the elusive Kevin Hawley.
00:06:30
Speaker
I don't know how that's a fact. I'm, like, not hiding at all. I think it's more elusive. I'm calling him out right now. Stan, where are you at, dude? Yeah. but' all I haven't seen him in a hot minute and he just showed up in the chat Saturday night. And then the I was like, dude, you got to check out Wednesday.
00:06:51
Speaker
That's cool. I mean, those were good times, bro. I miss those days, you know? Yeah. for For those of you guys who don't know a little behind the scenes, Kevin and I go way the fuck back. ah You know, we make fun of him now. we, we we don't We don't claim that we know him anymore, but there was a there was a podcaster out there that Kevin and I kind of stumbled upon each other and through his podcast. and Kevin was doing the the Kevin Hawley show um with the great.
00:07:19
Speaker
They had a few guys on there, but the only one that ever really mattered was the legendary RIP to Pops was the best. We were just talking about Pops tonight, man. I was telling my daughter, like, the dump tower was cool, but we were going to rent an ah office space on the second floor, the top floor of what used to be a brothel back in, like, the early 1900s, right on Main Street in downtown Newport Ritchie.
00:07:44
Speaker
And the only reason we didn't rent there was because Pops, there was no elevator, and we couldn't get Pops up and down the stairs. We had the emptiest piss bag, you know, every hour on the board. Yeah.
00:07:56
Speaker
You gotta take him out to the parking lot and let him, ah you know, squirt that piss bag into the dirt. Cause dude, there's like not enough room for the wheelchair in the bathroom stall or a small bathroom in an office building. You know what i mean?
00:08:10
Speaker
Open the window. It would have just went with all the other piss on the ground. you know you but now It's Florida, dude. do You open the window and the air conditioner falls all the way down two stories. The dump tower. a Glorious, beautiful Newport Ritchie, ladies and gentlemen. but That was a great ela penthouse, man. That was a penthouse.
00:08:30
Speaker
No, dude. You and I have ah taken a similar his kind of sort of path, but we both found ourselves... in totally different areas than where we originally started. Now you're... I know. I'm here in beautiful, sunny Florida, Tampa Bay area, and you're on Epstein Island. That's crazy. oh You're not supposed to say that online.
00:08:52
Speaker
We had this conversation. Things you're allowed to say, things you're not allowed to say. Oh, my bad. My bad. yeah Who would have known that Lolita Express was actually the first plane to make chemtrails? Who would known?
00:09:05
Speaker
No, dude. So you you have found yourself up on stage doing stand-up, and the ups and downs, and and you know early on, little rough, I think, for anybody who's who's just beginning. But you're...
00:09:22
Speaker
You know, most people progress. You, on the other hand. No, you actually, ah you know, I watch your clips. You send me clips. you're You're getting pretty goddamn funny. And it pains me to say that. and anybody who knows us from back in the day, I didn't just say those words. Kevin made sure that the cash was transferred into my checking account and gave me a list of really good things I have to say about him tonight. so And let's not forget the handjobs, the parking lot handjobs.
00:09:49
Speaker
Oh, yeah. You gave me in return. oh Oh, wait, wait a minute. I don't remember. was that Dan, you were there, remember? Where's Dan at?
00:10:02
Speaker
with No, but dude, what what, I mean, it's, for me, it's no big surprise, but Where was that for you where you were just like, you know what, I want to get up and stand up on stage and and and tell jokes? it's It's a great question. i was kind of expecting it, but I'm still not prepared to answer it.
00:10:20
Speaker
um
Kevin's Comedy Journey Begins
00:10:21
Speaker
But I'll tell you off the dome. um Speaking of Stan, when we were doing the ah Internet Radio Network, the IRN, the program manager excuse me The program manager at IRN, Mike Peter, was like, I want all these different shows to interact with each other and make it like a radio station friendly.
00:10:41
Speaker
So he wanted us to guest on each other's shows and that's how I met Stan. And then we he's he always had comics on his show. So started rubbing shoulders with comics and then we went to some ah some mics together and stuff and it was kind of cool to meet the people and see it all go down.
00:10:57
Speaker
And then a few years later, i met Patrick Welsh, the Not Right Network streamer guy. up in you know And we became we fell in love and became best friends. yeah No, but um he's the one that took me to the my first open mic at at ah at Snappers in Palm Harbor. And then um I just never stopped going.
00:11:17
Speaker
And then eventually you get asked to to do a guest spot somewhere, maybe a brewery or a showcase or something. um and then hopefully you know you get noticed or whatever and i got lucky um the the people at snappers like me and um had me host my first hosting gig ever at a comedy club and bro it's been almost 80 shows there um i'm featuring there now it's cool man it's like and all these other clubs dude tomorrow i have to drive to coco beach i can't wait i'm doing a gregory's comedy club in coco beach yeah and it's bike week in daytona and all the hotels are super expensive
00:11:51
Speaker
I'm just in the van or I'm driving all way back home each night. don't know. Well, it's a good thing you were also, when you said not prepared, shocking you not prepared for something. perfect That's part of it, man. Yeah.
00:12:10
Speaker
i I mean, you can't afford a hotel down there. You've always had like 37 to 65 jobs at one. Yeah. No. Well, I don't want to spend the money that I'm going to make, um you know, like, you know, like,
00:12:23
Speaker
like i don't you know like Oh, so that and um it's crazy down there by Daytona right now. I just want to go there, work and then, you know, sleep and then do it again. the neck i got to do it a bunch of times, a whole weekend, you know?
00:12:37
Speaker
Oh, man, that's a shame. It's not a shame. It's a blessing. But what do I do? Do I drive to my girlfriend's house? She's like an hour closer. do I drive back home? My cat just had five kittens. do They're like four days old. i don't What do I do? Why do you always have an animal pregnant or giving birth in your house?
00:12:53
Speaker
For the last, I don't know, how long we but have we known each other? What, 15 years? Something like that. You have always, and you've never not had a pregnant or animal giving birth in your house.
00:13:05
Speaker
Yeah, it's pretty regular, man. um It's the circle of life. know you don't talk about religion on the show, but, you know, there's something to be said about just, you know, immaculate conception. We'll call it that. immaculate conception every time.
00:13:20
Speaker
Yeah. did this kitten squeezed out three black cats and i was like oh thank god there's only three that i have to try to give away right but she kept meowing and running around tracking me down calling at the dog and ah like an hour later she gave birth to two more and i was like man we got three black kittens in here we're never gonna know who the father really is its just crazy i know so we're naming them stuff you know i don't know we're gonna figure out Welcome to the first and last show of Glick's Comedy Live.
00:13:56
Speaker
No, for real, man. We're trying to figure out what they're going to identify as, you know, before we name them. i want put them to Just them choose.
00:14:07
Speaker
Guys, Glick told me before the show, like, ah just at the beginning, no politics, no religion. Let's talk about chemtrails, man. Everybody knows the rules. Everybody listens to the rules.
00:14:21
Speaker
Kevin? Nah. yeah It's out the window. When hear the rules, I'm like, I'll follow the rules like to an extent, but when it's your show, yeah okay. Okay.
00:14:35
Speaker
I'll be sure to reach out to the comedy clubs in Florida and be like, yeah, i just so you guys know, this is who you're booking. are you Oh, no. I'll Jewish laser your house, bro. basically that did ah The Masada will come after you, dude. How deep do you really want to go with this? Come on, man. I'm playing. Oh, my gosh.
00:14:59
Speaker
ah My girlfriend's got huge tits, bro. I got to tell you that. She does. My girlfriend has beautiful, huge bosoms. and And she ordered lingerie from Timu.
00:15:11
Speaker
And you know that goes, you know, like everything you buy on Timu is not what you expect. And did you she's like, she's like Kevin, I'm at her house and she's like, I want to model this lingerie for you. And I was like, oh yeah.
00:15:23
Speaker
So I'm laying on her bed and she goes in the bathroom and she comes out the Timu lingerie was so small. It only covered one of her giant titties. She came out like a pirate covering the other one with her hand, like, argh.
00:15:40
Speaker
Yeah. Some buried treasure there. Collected some buried treasure. I found the booty, dude. I was going to say. You are a Tampa Bay Buccaneer, my friend.
00:15:52
Speaker
beat you too, bro. I just, I don't know why I said that. because I just didn't want to talk about chemtrails anymore. So I'm sure she appreciates it. Yeah, I appreciate her.
00:16:06
Speaker
wass What's going on chatter's box. I would like to apologize for my friend in advance. Yeah. Please text her and be like, dude, he's just telling you. Yeah. Dude, so we all know, well, they don't know, but those of us who know you know that being prepared has never been in your dictionary or things to do.
00:16:29
Speaker
It is now. I was going to say, do you actually sit down and write your jokes and prior be I've got a box of just paper jokes, man. And then of course everything on my phone.
00:16:43
Speaker
I write it on my goal board. have goal board. That's how organized I am. Whoa, you big boy, huh? I need a goal board. i can barely reach it on the wall but no but um so one of the things on my goal board is to write every single day you know whether it's an observation a story that happened with my kids you know like today we were driving through a rich neighborhood my daughter and i she just turned 18 and and today dude like like an hour and a half ago And we're coming home and there's a gentleman is jogging, you know, and he's a little heavier and his shirt was really tight and he was all sweaty. He's all wet, you know, and he had huge bitch tits, man. I don't know why I'm talking about tits again, but this really happened like half ago.
00:17:29
Speaker
And we're driving and my daughter is sitting up front in the minivan and she points at him and she goes, wow, dad, look at that guy's tits. It's just like that. You know what mean?
00:17:40
Speaker
Oh, my God, laughed so hard just because, like, who does that? What little girls? Just my little baby girls. Like, look, Dad, look at that dude's giant. Well, unfortunately, Kevin, they're not babies anymore.
00:17:53
Speaker
I know, dude. it was It was Glick, you guys listening. it was g Glick was stalking my neighborhood tonight, jogging. Well, you know, it's been a while since I stopped by and seen your mom and sister. I figured. Wow. Wow.
00:18:08
Speaker
wow Yeah. What's up, Mama Holly? How you doing? How you been? She fell down and broke her arm, Glick. My mom, she's 80 and she fell down and broke her arm. So thanks for bringing it up, man.
00:18:21
Speaker
I didn't bring up that she broke her arm. I just said, hey, how are you doing? which That's true. She's so fine, though. Yeah, she's got more. She's got a metal rod in her arm with a bunch of screws in it.
00:18:32
Speaker
She's got two titanium fake knees. My mom's more metal than your studio, dude. I was going to say, your mom's turning into a sideboard. Yeah.
00:18:44
Speaker
She's more metal than your favorite band of all time, Nickelback. Oh, well, who's not more metal than Nickelback, man? He's maybe, I don't know. That's something that you and I would talk about, like, at four in the morning. Like, hey, man, like who do you think's more, less metal? hacker While you're cooking steaks? on Oh, wait, that's real life.
00:19:12
Speaker
Before you try to cuddle me on a deflated air batch. Like a turtle, dude. All I saw was like a couple hands. you know And your beard. Your beard was on the other side. Yeah. Oh, wait. No. My bad. That was your ass. It's just hairy. Yeah, yeah.
00:19:33
Speaker
Of course Kevin's a blue light special. No, it's me. I don't know. You probably can't see the comments. I'm throwing them up on the screen. can see them, but I can't.
00:19:44
Speaker
There's a live chatterbox. You you are you are familiar with with sick in the chat. Is that Shane That's our boy.
00:19:56
Speaker
No shit. what What did he say? i can't read it. He said if I had a tomato. He also said that, of course, you're the blue light special. Bro, he, okay, fuck that, because he butt-dialed me twice in the last, like, 10 days.
00:20:12
Speaker
And I'm, like, fumbling from my phone. I'm taking it off the mounts in the minivan. and I'm like, hello, Shane hello. Hit the Bluetooth. Like, whoa, what's up, what's up? And there's nobody there. It's like he's prank calling me. Maybe, he's yeah maybe i mean, the elusive Kevin Holley. Nobody can get a hold of you.
00:20:27
Speaker
Yeah, I'm
Committing to Comedy
00:20:28
Speaker
so elusive. Yeah, because I'm a rock star. I just said it to him. I tell him an eight o'clock show and he texts me at eight o'clock and says, I'll be there in about five, 10, 15 minutes, something like that. I don't know.
00:20:41
Speaker
No, man, I could be a bit of a procrastinator. I can also be a bit of a chronic masturbator, but I'm trying to quit click. I'm trying to quit. I haven't completely quit yet.
00:20:53
Speaker
I'm slowly beating it. That's your idiot.
00:21:01
Speaker
Joke of the day. Please tell me you use that on stage. No, dude. that's a Why not? I don't do meme jokes on stage. I talk about my my farts and stuff, man. Real life.
00:21:14
Speaker
you know really You quit your job at the insurance company, too. I did. hated that job, Nick. I did. I really did.
00:21:24
Speaker
trying to bit you right now because I'll do it, dude. I'll do it. Kevin is a big time Hollywood now. I have to, but I'm just going to respond. I mean, I'm not unemployed. I still, I do have a ah ah job, but I did quit my insurance job. Dude. I hated it. i felt like I was comedian.
00:21:43
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I just, you know, uh, you, you got any comedy clubs up there in Ohio where I could swing by what's up? Yeah. Do you think you could, do you think you could do a funny bone?
00:21:56
Speaker
Yeah, of course. ah Can I park my van on your driveway? um I'd rather you didn't, but I guess if you need to. Do you have somewhere I can plug in my 100-foot extension cord? yeah I got you there. As long as your van's 100 feet away from the house.
00:22:15
Speaker
Well, technically I should be like 500 feet away from your house. That depends on which week it is. If the kids are here, yeah, 500 feet. If the kids aren't here, at least 100 feet. This is why it's difficult to to be a comedian because you have to all this logistical timing and stuff, you know? no yeah there's definitely There's definitely clubs up here, man. Any place can be a comedy club if you just grab a microphone and go up and start telling jokes.
00:22:41
Speaker
Yeah, that's a really great way to make money while traveling through the Midwest. It's a comic. It is, man. if you If you get a gig or two over a span of time, and maybe you can throw in a brewery show or a showcase of sorts like I did last night. We did this cool showcase.
00:22:59
Speaker
It didn't pay a lot, but it was still something. And um you get to you know be in the same area and stuff. so That's always cool, dude. Yeah. Let me ask you, you know, as and if you're still new. You're still new in the comedy game. Started my fifth year.
00:23:15
Speaker
Five years in, dude. Are you really five years in already? Five years in and like hundreds of shows, man. a Yeah. I thought you'd be better by now, buddy. But damn.
00:23:29
Speaker
No. So anyways, Tampa, you know, even, even, fuck. It's been what? I don't know. Forever ago since I came down there. But at that time, Tampa was already becoming like the new the new home of comedy. You've always had New York and you've always had L.A., but Tampa was making their mark in the comedy scene, and they have continued to do so.
00:23:52
Speaker
For you coming up and whatnot, are you finding it easier or or or hard to, especially where you're located? That's a really good question too. and And to add to what you said, to your point, Austin has become a huge hub for stand-up comedy. So LA and New York, I feel like they're always going to be like a sinusoidal waveform, you know, of like, what's better? Some people say like, you got to go to LA. Other people say you got to go to New York. And now a lot of people are saying you got to go to Austin.
00:24:22
Speaker
but I've been here in Tampa this whole time. And, uh, the scene here is amazing. Uh, it's just like the other three mentioned cities, you know, um, Tampa is probably, if you were to rank like a top five, the, the three ever mentioned cities, Tampa, and i don't know what would be after that. Maybe another Florida city like Orlando. I don't even know.
00:24:43
Speaker
Um, so it's been, i wouldn't say easy. It's a, it's a challenge. Everything's a challenge, man. Um, You know and i mean? There's so many, it almost feels like you're an Uber driver in a parking lot with a thousand other Uber drivers and you're all waiting for it.
00:24:59
Speaker
Yeah. But at the same time, it's a nice community. You know, like people are pretty cool to each other and stuff, so. You know if you scratch my back I'll scratch yours as far as like booking each other for showcases and bar shows and that keeps you alive I've been comedy club horror lately, which I think is great. Like thank God like that's all I wanted to do like you know I mean yeah i mean it But the more shows you're doing, the better, you know, at the end of the day, you know. yeah I guess. i mean, I also just want to, like, buy a sailboat and go surfing and vanish. That's fun. You know what I mean? Well, you're going to have to book a lot more gigs.
00:25:41
Speaker
but Hey, what did you happen to me on the way to the the beach to the pier? You know. That or I don't know you know, more hand jobs in the parking lot. I don't know. Whatever's going to help you ah put your sailboat and surfboard on the goal board. Are you asking me out again?
00:25:57
Speaker
no You already broke my heart once. Are you still drinking Bud Light to this day? Is that what that is? No, I'm drinking Pepsi. ah Oh. oh I don't drink during the week anymore. I only drink on Saturdays.
00:26:10
Speaker
What day is today? It's not Saturday? Wednesday. Oh, man. No, I'd be doing the show with no pants on. Yeah, I don't have pants on. And I didn't put pants on because I knew you were going to be here, but...
00:26:22
Speaker
ah Dude, there was a ah funny video in the 80s. You can probably find it on YouTube. And it was the old Chicago Bears head coach, Mike Ditka. And ah he was kind of like somewhat famous for his after show, like after game interviews.
00:26:39
Speaker
And he was wearing like a suit jacket and a tie and a nice shirt. And he's just like really mad. The team lost. They played like shit. And he's like, that's the question you're asking me. That's the question. You know, he went off. Shane said that your boat would be called the No bedts on you one the funniest things ever saw in my life yeah shane said that your boat would be called the tindergar
00:27:10
Speaker
and yeah but
00:27:17
Speaker
That's a horrible name. Yeah, dude. What's the name of Shane B's big rig, the truck he drives, you know? What would that be? well We don't talk about that.
00:27:28
Speaker
All right. a very and An NDA, I think what he made me sign. yeah india ah ninjas don't
00:27:46
Speaker
You're struggling with that one. You tried to be quick, but you kind of struggled a little bit, buddy. Ninjas don't admit the names of their big rigs, and Shane B's name of his big rig is Lolita Express.
00:27:57
Speaker
We all knew it. We all knew it. He's trying to look out like Shane B. I love him a lot. I love everything about him. given the fact Aside from the fact that ah all the child trafficking that he does with this big truck. I think he's a fool.
00:28:13
Speaker
He says he calls her the the money penny. Oh, dude. Funny story about Shane B and this network here.
00:28:25
Speaker
So, you know, we we do the Saturday night show and we we open the doors and we let people come up on the panels, right? Well, I didn't know or mr we didn't know each other's YouTube handles.
00:28:38
Speaker
Shane actually popped up one time on the panel and it was like, we both were kind of looking at you like like i know this guy from somewhere uh he's like why do i know your name man it's a well you know kind of back and forth, kind of putting the pieces together. we were like, oh, wait, we know Kevin. oh yeah, we were the best part of his podcast in the chat.
00:29:04
Speaker
yeah What is it? 2210? Is that what it is? I can't remember. have to look at the t-shirt. yeah Yeah. Six degrees of Kevin Hawley over here.
00:29:16
Speaker
Well, you know.
00:29:20
Speaker
Number seven, bro. It's amazing. or not second it's hard look man There ain't no party like a Kevin Hawley party. Steaks at 3 a.m. m on the grill. Nickelback.
00:29:37
Speaker
ah What was that? Battleground. or battle What would the hell was that damn game? PUBG on our cell phone. Dude, the guy that hosted the show last night is a buddy named Rick, right?
00:29:49
Speaker
Rick Ratliff. Simple Rick. He's hilarious, right? This autistic comic, right? And a few months ago, well he sold me a gaming computer.
00:30:01
Speaker
So the first time you came to my house, we played PUBG on our mobile phones with our buddy Aaron. And I'd never known what PUBG was. Players Unknown Battlegrounds, whatever that. It's like a first time game.
00:30:14
Speaker
Like a Call of Duty or something? Yeah. yeah It's like Call of Duty mixed with Fortnite for adults. You know, it's weird. It's like Call of Duty if it was autistic. Yeah, yeah. so but So after you guys took off, I kept playing PUBG on my phone and I fell in love with it. got good at it.
00:30:30
Speaker
So then i went and and I bought an Xbox One or whatever at the time just to play PUBG, dude. And I bought the game and i so I played it for like multiple years since then. And I got really good, like level 500, man. Like I got this, like just, I was streaming sometimes. It was cool.
00:30:49
Speaker
And then they had an update and you can no longer use Xbox one. And I had to buy the newest Xbox. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. That's hundreds of dollars. And I'm a broke comedian. Yeah.
00:31:02
Speaker
Rick Radliff said he heard me complaining about it and he's like, oh, i I can build you a gaming computer. I do that all the time. And he sold me a badass gaming computer for literally like less than half of what the Xbox would have cost.
00:31:16
Speaker
And I plugged it into the all my same stuff and i the it the the remote works, like the controller works and everything. and dude, I've been playing, I've got like almost 100 hours of PUBG logged in. Jesus Christ. The elusive Kevin Hawley. Yeah, I'm in bed playing PUBG at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, dude. You you you and and a friend of ours, a friend of the network, Fireman Rich, may be the only two people playing that game.
00:31:43
Speaker
Oh, I need this handle. Fireman Rich, if you're listening, my handle is EL l space EL space K-O-O-L-K. LL Cool K, but Spanish style, you know. LL Cool K. Look me up. are you You're the, the, cool, cool.
00:32:01
Speaker
The, the cool Kevin, you know, the real, uh, stands for ladies. Love ladies. Love. Cool. Jay, you know, cool. What is his name? James ladies. look Cool. Jason, something like that. Uh, whatever the fuck his name is. hell He shows up one of your shows.
00:32:24
Speaker
oh Mama said knock you out. I lost my train of thought. man. Squirrel. It happens. It does. Trust me. i When you're not prepared.
00:32:38
Speaker
that I learn from the best. I don't pair prepare for anything. I'm just very good at coming off the top of my head and being a great host. you know Yeah, you're I'm really good at coming off the top of your head, too.
00:32:52
Speaker
back you you are reached
00:33:00
Speaker
That's really gross, to be honest. I corrected myself on the top of the back of your head. feel bad for your girlfriend.
00:33:11
Speaker
i feel bad for your girlfriend ah she's not here it's okay uh no i still i was i was unemployed i still am and i found a job on indeed get this dude it was for a gun range and it was an outdoor gun range like with the shotguns and this the the the clay shooting you know talking about we're like pull pull And then you're like, boo you know?
00:33:34
Speaker
Yeah. and And the ad on Indeed, it said gun range. And I clicked on it. And then said special skills required. And it had the boxes to check. And the first one said skeet launcher.
00:33:47
Speaker
Like, yeah things great I'm like, I could do that. I've been to the gun range, you know? And so I went to the interview and they they're like, so it's, you have experience launching skeet. And I'm like, yeah, I shoot skeet every morning in the shower. and You know, I could do this all day.
00:34:01
Speaker
This is my job now. I'm a skeet launcher now, dude. You didn't get the job, did you? No, no. Yeah. you You can still be a skeet launcher.
00:34:12
Speaker
Thank you. yeah ill it right so didn Yeah. Welcome K. Holly Skeet Launching Gun Range.
00:34:23
Speaker
Yeah, that would be kind of gross. would be cool for a gay bar. they know the skeete launcher You know, that a gay bar or a steakhouse? The Gun Range.
00:34:36
Speaker
Either way. It's both. yeah Coming to E-board next summer. the ski Right. Kevin will be performing there every night. Every night. Every morning. Every morning. I open. Every morning.
00:34:51
Speaker
Yeah. perhaps For real though, there was another job there for Publix and there's a Publix right by my entrance of my neighborhood. Remember? it It's like right there. Oh yeah. Yeah. i was like, Oh, you know, at this point in my life, do I really, you know, but I want to do comedy. So it was overnights at Publix stocking the shelves, you know, and I'm like, I could totally do that. Like I get off stage 10, 11, I get there by midnight. I work till six in the morning. I play pub G I fall asleep. It's perfect. You know,
00:35:20
Speaker
Yeah, so ah I showed up on the first day, and I come in as the sun's going down, you know, and all those really cute, underage, retarded bagger girls that are at Publix, you know, they're all leaving because their shift is over, and I'm coming in because my shift's about to start.
00:35:37
Speaker
And I'm like, you guys, get where are you going? You leaving? You're off? ah oh Do you need help out to your car? I'm the night stalker. can totally do this. I'm the night stalker. I'm the new night stalker.
00:35:50
Speaker
How far away did you park? I've got this white minivan. Get in. Let's go. I'll take you. You know, sometimes you start these magical journeys, and I know they're going to end bad, and I just get on the old dolphin cruise and and go for the ride. I'm just spitting. I'm just trying to have a little fun, you know. but Trying to work it out. I don't know. but Hey, look what happened to your YouTube channel. How did it get banned? I had Kevin Hawley as a guest.
00:36:23
Speaker
No, Kevin Hawley bumped, man. It happens. They didn't slingshot. They got the Kevin Halle bump. They were the first time they ever played acoustic ever was on our our show.
00:36:35
Speaker
And then they used the audio from that and they sent it to the Hard Rock Cafe in Tampa ah for like ah like some sort of entry, you know, and they became the house band for like 18 months there, dude. wo Yeah, Slingshot Robot. Remember Doug Bailey? Oh, yeah. Those guys were awesome.
00:36:55
Speaker
They got the Kevin Holley bump, dude. That's what happens. Your show's going to blow up, Glick. Glick's Comedy Lounge. Dude, you're going to travel around the comedy clubs and do this show in the comedy clubs.
00:37:07
Speaker
I feel like every time you say Kevin Holley bump, I need to make a doctor's appointment so I can get some penicillin. yeah It's like Florida all over again. Have that fucking drained, man.
00:37:20
Speaker
But it'll be on like a Monday afternoon or morning, you know.
00:37:29
Speaker
Open. you know You'll just be on the sidewalk and front in front the place. if Probably get trespassed or kicked out. Something, you know. That's not worth it.
00:37:41
Speaker
There's a Sasquatch out here. Can somebody come in call Animal Control or something? like No, I'm performing here. I swear. That's hilarious, sir. You had mentioned, and I'm always curious about this, when hanging out with entertainers, and I use that term very loosely with you.
00:38:04
Speaker
but but but Sorry. I can't help myself. But you you brought up the community. Okay. Uh-oh. Not that community.
00:38:16
Speaker
The stand-up yeah community. The stand-up
Navigating the Comedy Scene
00:38:25
Speaker
community. What has been your experience with it? Do you get... Is it as cutthroat as some people make it sound? Or it more like a...
00:38:36
Speaker
a weird dysfunctional family um thank you for putting it lightly at the end there uh it's it's it's hard to say without being a dick or because if you if you don't say it the right way like the honest real way then you're you're doing a disservice to the community and to the question that you're asking i would be doing you a disservice and everybody listening um But if I do answer that question accurately and honestly, then I'll come off as a dick.
00:39:11
Speaker
And that's the last thing I want to do. Well, I'll go ahead and put the i'll go ahead and put the ah the warning label out there. and And any comedian that says anything differently, they're a liar. They're all all overly sensitive prima donnas.
00:39:24
Speaker
Yeah, all of those other comedians, all the bitches. Yeah. That's the ones in Tampa that Kevin knows. Girls aren't funny. The rest of are bunch of fags. I'm kidding. I'm joking.
00:39:37
Speaker
No, but your personal experience so far with, you know. It's been actually really cool. And I'm, so I find myself... coming home from even working the door at a comedy club. I work at one of the big ones and I work the box office like Sunday nights.
00:39:57
Speaker
Sometimes if I'm not booked, I'm there as well, you know, like during the week, like Thursday, Friday, something like that. And even that, like it's, I leave there and I smile all the way home. Sometimes I've cried like after a decent show or a decent set or a decent weekend or an important one, like numbers you know the The first time I featured for a whole weekend, i was so happy.
00:40:22
Speaker
you know so That being said, like um'm i my the vibe I get from it is like it's really positive to me. But there's a lot of just, like you said, prima donna stuff. like It's more like virtue signaling. A lot of people, and it's not just comedy, it's music. It could be any authors, actors. you know um There's a lot of virtue signaling. Once you get um a stage or a microphone or or a pen and and and and paper to write a book or if you're behind ah a camera, and you you know
00:40:55
Speaker
um sometimes it you wanna express your own opinions on things, whether it's politics, religion, your personal beliefs on fucking chemtrails, whatever it might be. everybody So um there's a lot of like, imagine like you're you're you're swimming through waves, trying to get past the ones that are breaking, and and then you end up where it's kind of green and peaceful, and you can turn around and figure out how to get back to the shore without getting killed.
00:41:25
Speaker
Or dying whatever by a shark. You know what i mean? So there's it's just like a it's like a ah healthy mix of up and down, back and forth. I don't want to sound too generic. I've made really good friends.
00:41:37
Speaker
um I've gotten so discouraged a few times where I'm like, ah, fuck, I don't have to do any of this stuff, you know? i don't have to do radio or podcasting or streaming or stand-up comedy i could just go sell insurance or go sell cars or i could just work like six months out of the year and then just disappear and do things but it's so much fun and uh the the the local community the the way that is um i don't know man i just i want to be likable to everybody i've been told i'm too nice um so yeah for real i've i've been told that i'm like
00:42:14
Speaker
like a really nice, too nice. And um that's okay. That's fine. I'll take it. You know, i'd I'd rather walk an old lady through a parking lot that's having a hard time walking than walk alone, you know, with my chest out and my chin up like I'm some kind of badass. You know what i mean? That makes sense.
00:42:32
Speaker
Yeah, that makes sense. And knowing you like I do, you know, we we bust each other's balls and we joke around a lot. And Lord knows over the years we have given you all the hell we could possibly give you. And you are, you know, you are genuinely one of the nicest guys that I know.
00:42:47
Speaker
i mean, even before I met you, I knew that. And then when we came down and I, and I hung out with you a while, the first time was kind of weird. And it did look like we were on a, a grinder first meet. And you brought,
00:43:03
Speaker
thing and you brought and you brought your, your You're gay lover with you. i'm talking about you, Bergy.
00:43:12
Speaker
He wasn't gay. Oh. He was just your lover. but i'm sorry not yeah you You have always been genuinely one of the nicest guys.
00:43:25
Speaker
thanks yeah you are A little strange, but one of the nicest guys ever. So, and and I feel like to answer your question a little bit more accurately, I feel like the people in the community, not your community, but the,
00:43:40
Speaker
no, they they've actually been super supportive and nice and encouraging, and encouraging, encouraging to me. And, and I really haven't had problems with, with too many people. Everybody kind of, you know, had their opinions during COVID and stuff, but I don't really,
00:43:57
Speaker
um you know I don't really delve on things like... you know ah A lot of people have like come together after COVID and been like, oh, hey, you know you may have been right about that, and I may have been wrong about that, or wow, dude, I was a little offensive. you know and And they just talk it out. and With comics, it's usually like, hey, a great set. Thanks, man. You had a great set, too. ah Can we just be friends now? you know like a lot of these people are just like you're like... They're kids at heart, man. They're all making jokes and trying I mean, if they're creating art.
00:44:29
Speaker
Remember what it was like to be in third grade art class? That's a lot of it what it is, man. It's somebody's diary. it's it it's so So it's almost childlike. Hey, can we just be...
00:44:40
Speaker
Okay. Hey, that was a great show. You want to do another one? Yeah. Let me know if you have an opening sometime. Okay, cool. And then people do it. So, but man, it's been really cool. Tampa's badass, man. The comics in Tampa, like for your listeners, if you ever come to Tampa, holy crap, there's so comedy clubs. There's so many places to go. Tampa, St. Pete, Clearwater, even Newport Ritchie, you know, there's a huge theater, Spring Hill, Stage West. Oh, my God.
00:45:05
Speaker
It's amazing. They put on a show every month and it's the sold out theater style. And then, Bro, I just saw Sam Morrill at the the Tampa Theater and and Dan Stoder, Jay Leno, and Arsenio Hall all in the last, like, three weeks just because they came to Tampa. Never. so you know but then Yeah, and comedians are always coming through Tampa. I mean, I still listen to The Bone Down there. I listen to, you know, cocha every every morning. out You know, I have been forever.
00:45:35
Speaker
And he's all the time got comedians coming up, coming through on the show. I mean, there's people down there every damn weekend, it seems like. Oh, for sure, dude. um There's so many good clubs that there's there's B rooms, there's A rooms, there's theaters, smaller theaters, bigger theaters. It's incredible, dude, honestly. ah dont i don't want to name drop places, but like... ah you know i i do work at one of the clubs and uh andrew dice clay is coming through that club in december you know um the mark norman i'm going to see mark norman uh in in july just because he's gonna and um i was lucky enough to be a uh you know the the best girlfriend ever be quick on the on the the internet and grab those tickets you know what saying
00:46:22
Speaker
right got um But yeah, dude, it's so cool. It's absolutely so cool. And and I get to meet, you know i get to meet these people and rub shoulders with them. So like, that's like, it's almost like, like a little boner. Exactly.
00:46:38
Speaker
exactly A cool example, ah um i was at work one night working the door and ah Jim Florentine was headlining, right? And ah I'm a huge fan of of Jim Florentine. You know, remember that metal show, the the crank anchors, all that stuff?
00:46:54
Speaker
With a real deep voice, he does stand up. He's been doing it forever. Yeah. and First time I met him, I was like starstruck. of like, holy crap. And I'm just like, can I get you anything? You know? All right, nice to meet you. And then the second time, I went into the green room to look for a tablecloth for his like merch table.
00:47:11
Speaker
And he's sitting the couch. And I just opened the door. And i was like, oh. like hey jim how's it going and he just stands up shakes my hand oh hey good to see you thanks for having us you know i'm like oh my god i'm having a conversation with jim florentine like it's just like hanging out in like a ruby tuesday or something you know what i mean yeah man so that that's part of the community here tapas as well you get some rock stars that come through and you and they're just people dude they're just regular yeah you know yeah then just normal average
00:47:42
Speaker
You know, hey, I'm just a guy who tells jokes. Oh, man. Dude. I'm not the guy who tells jokes. I don't tell jokes.
00:47:54
Speaker
Jesus, dude, you will go on for like five hours. I've seen you do the old Glick but for like, but um pat dude, you're in your garage just yucking it up, playing music, and there's people still listening, dude. They're still listening. i used to do I used to do that shit for eight, nine, ten hours.
00:48:14
Speaker
Dude, it's insane. I've never done it for more than a few, and then i I tried to kill myself a couple times after that, but then I just said it didn't work for and that's I was like, how much more melatonin do I need to through that? No, and we still do it on Saturdays.
00:48:33
Speaker
We do six hours every Saturday night. Insane, dude. That is insane. I do a lot of hours of podcasting throughout the week. That's about how much I would do every week. you mean like I did it for a decade, but like every Saturday, six hours. I mean, if you're having fun and the show's good and people are, what how do you do that? Do you start like three and end at like nine or something?
00:48:57
Speaker
No, we started like somewhere between seven and eight. And you go on to the wee hours. do Yeah. And, and, and, and the crazy thing about it is, like I said, we open the panel up and anybody can join us. The links in the chat and anybody can come up and we've got a full panel.
00:49:12
Speaker
I mean, I've got people usually chomping at the bits before I even put the link in the chat. As soon it's dropped there, they're in there and, People are there the entire time. and They're in the chat watching. They're on the panel hanging out. you know it's it's it's It's a crazy thing to do on top of the, well, now I just added three new shows because I wasn't doing enough. So let's do three more shows because that's fun.
00:49:37
Speaker
It is going to be fun, though. I say that, but I'm having way too much fun doing this. you know I hope you get successful like sponsors and advertisements and liners and things like that where you can just not have to work and just do this. That's my goal. On my goal board, it says, never work, destroy Joe Rogan.
00:49:57
Speaker
yeah You don't have a goal board, you fucking liar. I don't have a goal board, but I do have a disdain for Joe Rogan, and I have made it very, very public that I will one day be better than you, Joe Rogan. You got you got that goal board tattooed on your neck. It's under your...
00:50:13
Speaker
Like, fuck Joe Logan. I hide it with my beard. And the other side, you pull that up, and it's a swastika. Whoa, whoa. Hey, we're having fun over here. You got a swastika? it's ah It's a rainbow Care Bear.
00:50:31
Speaker
exactly that says Boner Garage.
00:50:42
Speaker
No, you were saying, um i don't know why I do this to myself. ah Sorry. did i It's not like I didn't expect anything less. I knew exactly what was going to happen.
00:50:56
Speaker
I wanted to start out and didn't even get to. I was going to go, my, how the how the turns have tabled. And you're in my position the first time I came down. ah Yeah, how's it going to be in my position?
00:51:07
Speaker
little man uh when i come down to tampa and you guys are like we're gonna put you on our shows and interview you and i went i am a jackass that sits in my garage and gets wasted with a giant box of dildos behind me i have no business doing any podcast And be honest, dude, we all know you still have that box of dildos. No, the box of dildos did go. um i'm sure somebody in Charleston is is very happy because i thought about taking them to the dump, but I didn't i didn't want to roll up to the dump with ah in the back of a pickup truck with two totes full of dildos.
00:51:44
Speaker
So I was like, um just I'll just put them out with my trash. So I'm sure somebody... and
00:51:53
Speaker
First of all, question their neighbor that they lived beside for six years. And then we're probably very happy with their life decisions to go for a job the day I left.
00:52:03
Speaker
Bro, we need to get like, we need to go full CIA, FBI on whatever trash pickup company and find out who's got those dildos. And to the rightful owner, you're buying
00:52:20
Speaker
Those belong to Glick. He needs them back. yeah We all need them back. Just get rid of my belts behind me and just put the dildos up. I bet you still have them because you threw them out. If you were to ship them to me, I would be using them for merch right now. I'd be putting merch table on them. Oh, man. They were all unused. They were all unused and brand new.
00:52:46
Speaker
it was just what was left from you know It was like, ah what was that? Like the Tupperware parties, Mary Kay parties. They had dildo parties.
00:52:57
Speaker
So I have a a good friend um named Amber, and she ah lives in Lakeland now. And we would play Xbox and stuff, man. Nothing romantic. Good friend.
00:53:10
Speaker
And um she had a dildo in a box, and it was like flesh-colored, like a white guy dildo, you know? Not very big. yeah was very graphic you know yeah and so um she had had the receipt and she said they wrong that him sha said same shane said you said shade wrong no no but so she it had the receipt still in the box and she bought it from like a a sex toy place you know like the todd or something and
00:53:46
Speaker
She's like, you can have it. She was moving to Lakeland. And I was like, she gave me a couple of things, you know? And I was like, the dildo really? Like, and she's like, it's never been used. I didn't realize that it was a self lubricating dildo.
00:53:59
Speaker
And she goes, I don't trust the chemicals. Same shit. They die Glick, you know? knew it. No, but that's, the but the so she, I'm serious though. She was like, you can have it, return it.
00:54:12
Speaker
You know, it still has the receipt. and It's never been opened. And I was like, hot damn, I'll do that. So now I've got this big box with a dildo in it. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I got daughters. Like, what do I do? Where do I put it?
00:54:24
Speaker
So I hid it in my bathroom, like under my sink in the vanity. Yeah, nobody's ever looking there, you know? No, but so nobody found it and I gave it to my brother for Christmas last year and when he opened it up, he went to pull it out of the the gift box and he was like, oh Jesus Christ, and he put it back in. you didn't want anybody to see it. I was like, damn it, I almost got him.
00:54:47
Speaker
this person act to me like he's like i don't want this in my house and i'm like fuck i had to sneak it back into my house a second time and hide back in my bathroom again so then i was like damn it man ah i guess i'll just like bring it to the car put it in the trunk and go return it and get that 75 bucks you know and i looked at the receipt and it was just know how receipts get all worn out and you can't read them anymore Yeah, it's just like a blank piece of paper.
00:55:12
Speaker
So I still have this dildo, and I know you used to have two boxes in your garage. If you want mine, you can have it. It looks like mine. It really does. I'm good.
00:55:24
Speaker
I'm going to have to pass. i'm i retired I've retired from the dildo game. All right, I believe you. I'm not the game man. but and i can't be pulled back in no i mean uh yeah so what do i do with it you know give it to your mom yeah word or use it tell your mom it's a gift from glick you can tell her on mother's day too
00:55:58
Speaker
her birthday really good do yeah oh shit If it was better, then she could have it. But it's not. it's It's like rubber silicone, I think. I don't know.
00:56:15
Speaker
Oh, there you go. Shane said Goodwill. Donate it to Goodwill. That's a great idea. yeah just Just put it in a bag or a box or something so they won't know until ah they open it.
00:56:29
Speaker
And I'll tell you what, I worked for Goodwill up here in Ohio, and that would probably not be the strangest thing that somebody has donated. what What would be one of the more strange things that someone's donated that in your experience?
00:56:43
Speaker
ah um Probably the strangest thing that I got a phone call about that I had to come pick up was somebody's family members, ashes. Really?
00:56:53
Speaker
Yep. When you say members, like all the members are just members with an apostrophe. I mean, maybe a member. Yeah, like with an... Just... some yeah was some Somebody's granny or mom or so dog or whatever.
00:57:11
Speaker
You didn't look... at it like it was in It was actually in like a... It was like in an official bag from a crematorium.
00:57:21
Speaker
That would lead me to believe that it's got a name on it. Excuse me. Jeez. I'm sure it did. Wow, you're huge. Thank you. That's the first time you've ever heard that in your life, and the last time you'll ever hear it. yeah Dude, I got abs, man. Dude, look.
00:57:38
Speaker
I'm a monster. Did you draw the zombie for the show? No, yeah. But think Shane's on to something. technology no yeah but i think i think sea shane's onto something Goodwill,
00:57:52
Speaker
or salvation army or Oh, no, Shane P can make it the gear shifter on on his penny chaser, whatever the fuck he calls his truck. There you go.
00:58:03
Speaker
I'm going to have to be tuning in more often see if we can make an appearance on his YouTube channel. I'm down. That'd be great. I'd like him to drive to Newport Richie with that big rig and pick me up, take me for a ride. Let's go.
00:58:16
Speaker
yeah to her I would, I would go, i would go like three or five days with Shane B just to see what it's like to be a trucker. You know, it's probably pretty similar to going on the road minus, you know, dropping shit off and picking shit up and,
00:58:35
Speaker
Yeah, it's like van life, you know, with the Sprinter van conversion, you know, mixed with working, making deliveries, and a little bit of child trafficking with a dildo shifter.
00:58:48
Speaker
whatever ah We all have dreams, Kevin. thank you I'm just a network, you know? eight What would you call that?
00:59:00
Speaker
What's that? shifting gears and killing queers you know and gears and slaying queers tune in sundays he said he'll call you later about that we'll tell you the whole seat but you're only gonna need the edge shane if you wanted to drop him off in a middle of a desert somewhere No, Shane B, he wouldn't drop me off. He'd be like, dude, can you drive? I'll take a nap.
00:59:34
Speaker
yeah I don't know. i would drive that shit. Probably a pole. Probably automatic. With all the jobs you've had, I'm surprised you haven't driven a truck before.
00:59:45
Speaker
I know. It's crazy. Yeah. the but My new job tomorrow, shooting skeet.
00:59:55
Speaker
but The skeet launcher. there telling again it it it would be a it would be a hit in in uh in why board absolutely san francisco if they if they did not log guns out there keep launching okay man again just put it on your goal board it's crazy because in san francisco they only do backdoor skeet shooting you know it's underground
01:00:26
Speaker
4 a.m. Let's do the six-hour show. Let's go. woo On Wednesdays. I'm a big boy. It's a school night. ah was good i keep i keep going to ask you questions and getting sidetracked.
01:00:45
Speaker
For you, making the move from behind the desk, behind the camera, to getting on and not in that way, under the desk for more familiar territory, but ah um making the jump from doing the podcasting to jumping up on stage.
01:01:07
Speaker
what was that What was that first experience like for you to actually attempt to tell jokes? And I and i don't mean that um in a bad way, but you know your first experience attempting to do standup in front of a live audience.
01:01:20
Speaker
a crowd that could literally lynch and watch you. that Well, so every time I did the Kevin Hawley show, I would take a nervous poop before the show. I'm not even making a joke. du Like every single time I would show up at the dump tower.
01:01:38
Speaker
um I would go in the studio and turn everything on make sure i had an internet connection. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know, because that if you don't have that, you've got to solve a problem, you know. Yeah.
01:01:49
Speaker
If you don't have that, not only do you have to solve that problem, but it makes that nervous poop even more extreme, you know. like more Yeah. But um doing stand-up, that I'll never forget the first time i was telling a joke, a story joke, which I should do more of instead of these one-liners and bullshit jokes, you know, which
First Stage Experience
01:02:08
Speaker
I've been working on. Probably why I'm getting more work. I'm getting pretty decent, you know.
01:02:12
Speaker
Um, yeah. So, uh, but that first time I did a story and it was ah ah it was a real life event that happened. I was, um, heating up a skillet with olive oil with a lid on it, you know, like a, like a half pan almost.
01:02:27
Speaker
And I was going to make some food on the stovetop and I just wanted to heat that olive oil up. So I put the lid on it and then I was man, I gotta, I gotta go to the bathroom. So I figured I'd in there and take, and take a poop.
01:02:39
Speaker
So I'm in the bathroom and long story short, I was sitting there scrolling through my phone, not beating off. And I was just sitting there, you know, and a smoke alarm goes off and I'm like, what's that noise? And I jump off the toilet like, oh, that skillet. I forgot about the skillet.
01:02:54
Speaker
And I ran. i just told my mom and dad this like four days ago. dude I ran and without wiping my butt completely naked because, bro, I was going to take a shower after I pooped, you know. I was going to wipe up and then jump in the shower and then I completely forgot about the skillet. So the alarm goes off. I run, i've jump off the toilet butt naked, I run in the kitchen and the thing is glowing red. The glass top on the skillet, you ring around it is glowing red and the entire house is engulfed in in in smoke, thick white smoke. And I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe it's not on fire with that much smoke.
01:03:29
Speaker
So I grabbed two potholders, butt naked, and the smoke alarm's like beep, beep, beep, you know? And I'm like, fuck. So I open up all three windows. I didn't even have window shades on them at the time.
01:03:40
Speaker
and just and i opened up the back door and slid the windows open and the back door is wide open i didn't even have a fence at the time i just had bushes around the pool and the neighbors behind me their lawn guys were there and they're all mowing the lawn and stuff they're weed whacking and edging and shit back there it was like three things in my backyard basically or open, you know, and I'm like, it's beep, beep, and there's smoke just billowing out of my house. They must have thought my house was on fire, and I'm butt naked, dude, and I take the fucking skillet with potholders, and I run out to the pool area where the grill's at, and I fucking kick open the grill, open the lid, and I throw the skillet in the grill and shut the lid just in case it explodes or something, you know, and and I go back into the house, and I go up, and I had to stand on a chair to turn off the buckle bar, and
01:04:29
Speaker
oh um my bare ass is out the the window for everybody to see all lawn guys my neighbors beats smoke everywhere and I'm putting my hand up to you know standing on this bar stool you know butt naked rusty trombone I hadn't wiped my butt yet dude then a dirty ass and i and and I hit the button and i'm like ah holy shit holy shit and I'm like okay There's nothing else I can do. I turn the fan on, the doors are open, the windows are up, the fans on on the on the oven lid. I'm like, all right, well, everything's cool, bro. The cleanup was incredible because there was soot everywhere. I had to wipe the soot. There was like black soot in all the cabinets and shit, dude. It was bad.
01:05:10
Speaker
So I'm like, fuck it. I'll get to that. I'm going back in the bathroom to to take my shower. So I get in the shower and I'm telling the story verbatim, just like I said it almost, my first night doing comedy at this open mic at snappers grill and comedy club in palm harvard love that place you know and i and i'm doing this and get five minutes dude and i'm like tired i never knew get you get the light that there you i had no idea dude i was brand new nobody told me patrick should have told me you know he brought me there He probably did tell me. But so I'm on the stage still talking and and I'm like, I go into the the shower and I turn it on. And the first thing I do is I always rinse my mouth out with the the jet stream, you know, and then I go right to my butthole, you know, and and I went to my butthole. And as I'm doing that, I realize that I didn't wipe my ass.
01:06:03
Speaker
yeah, like this is going to be a mess. And as I'm saying this, they're like, clap them off stage, man. You didn't see the light. And so everyone's like, The whole room starts stopping and then like, the host comes up and he hands he he grabs my the microphone out of my hand and we're like doing this.
01:06:23
Speaker
and And I was like, yeah I didn't even wipe my butt. And he's taking the mic away and I'm like, but it was a false alarm. It was just blood. yeah That's my first ever mic, dude.
01:06:36
Speaker
So to go from the dump tower to a stage at a comedy club or a theater, five years deep, 15 total with both.
01:06:46
Speaker
um I don't take nervous poops in me anymore. And I'll never forget the times that I did. Here I am, man. I'm the fucker.
01:06:56
Speaker
here i am man on the fire Comedy lounge, baby. but So, yeah, there there you go. the The red light. Because, you know, you have a tendency to go on rants and tangents, like I do.
01:07:15
Speaker
Have you gotten used to that? Or how long did that take you to where you could time your time yourself right? Bro, I wish I could rant on the comedy stages as...
01:07:29
Speaker
okay as i ever did it on the radio you know and my girlfriend always says don't be self-deprecating don't cut yourself short you know like you were really good and i'm like i always want to be humble and that's why i got that weird reputation of being too nice you know i i don't want to be like a fake it till you make it type guy i want to earn it but at the same time you know it is true like but if i could only rant that well on the stage when you're behind them the camera and the microphone Like what we're doing right now, we've got all the time in the world. We've got an hour, two hours, whatever we want to do. you know
01:08:03
Speaker
but got like three more hours. and On stage, though, it's like, hey, you're hosting. You get 10 minutes. Hey, you get 15 minutes up front. Be clean. Dress nice. Don't cuss.
01:08:14
Speaker
No fisting. you know, hey, you're featuring, you get 20, 25 minutes, pretty much say whatever you want, but make sure you check with the headliner, make sure you don't step on any his jokes, you know what I mean? If he doesn't like work, don't do crowd work then, you know?
01:08:28
Speaker
um And that's as far as I've gotten, you know? So, but on the on the radio shows, the streaming shows, man, you could just whatever, and all the prep, it was great. I could i could write a whole monologue.
01:08:39
Speaker
And if I didn't, who gives a shit, you know? it was It was so much fun. It was just like, woo. But now, like, doing in comedy is a little bit more stressful, I guess, but I don't take the nervous shits. I don't know what that means. You know, it's just weird.
01:08:54
Speaker
It's just weird, bro. That's all. ta question it's It's fucking weird, man. It really is. yeah well you yeah you You go from, you know, we we tease you and we've always busted your balls about not being prepared. and you You essentially go from just, sure i mean who am I to fucking talk? you know i don't None of my shows are prepared. I just started wanted it with with my girlfriend and it was weird because Well, she did all the research, um but we had to do research and yeah and we had to kind of keep the topic moving. And and so that was weird for me because was turning the fucking camera on and just go. If I have guests, I don't ask questions, but it's not that stereotypical interview, you know, that you're that you're used to seeing on like TV or radio or whatever. It's more of like a hangout.
01:09:44
Speaker
But yeah, because... you've always been kind of a loose cannon. And so now you, you have to prepare, you have to have some kind of structure. You know, you're, I don't think you're completely reined in, but you're a little bit more, ah you know, ah reined in and not so i can say, do whatever I want for however long I want. And nobody can stop me because it's my radio show. oh bro. It's, it's more like, uh, Hey, Hey, tonight, nothing political. Hey, tonight we got chatty Cathy's in the crowd. Hey, tonight, um, you know, You you might not want to ah ah be PG-13. There's like some rowdy people that want to hear more raunchy shit. This place is anything goes. you know You have no idea until you talk about it.
01:10:27
Speaker
um So I tried to write... a 30 minute um set and i'm working on another 30 minute set but i tried to write one that starts off and and and flows the entire time and i have a little room in between maybe where i can do a couple little you know one-liners line punches something like that but ah most most of my my feature set now is uh being a a lovable loser single dad but my kids are getting old now they're both adults they're 18 and 20 almost 21 so i have to kind of branch away from that and start omitting some of those opening jokes
01:11:08
Speaker
and and you know um kind of bring in the newer things that are happening like my daughter tonight talking about how look dad look at that guy's tits you know little things like that just you know you you just you write stuff down you figure it out and just keep on going you know um otherwise you're you're stuck in like a weird dude i've never seen the movie the matrix ever my life I don't even know what that means.
Evolving Stand-up Material
01:11:34
Speaker
I feel like I want to say it all the time.
01:11:36
Speaker
Like, you don't want to be stuck in the Matrix. I have no idea. i've never seen it, dude. It's pretty spot on. It's pretty accurate reference for never seeing the movie. You're not missing much.
01:11:47
Speaker
but i mean, if you want to watch the movie, watch it. Well, thanks, man. you're like oh well you know you ever seen nugget porn I mean, it's a good movie for one. I mean, if you like action movies and Keanu Reeves, it's it's cool.
01:12:02
Speaker
I'll check it out. Fuck. Stop yelling at me, sir. I figure you would love that because it's all about conspiracy theories. and What conspiracy theories, man? Like everything I've ever bitched about has turned out to be correct. whether it's the shot the fucking virus the social distancing the fucking shit they're spraying in the sky the fact that mcdonald's cannot possibly but have enough cows to supply all the meat let alone all the other fast food restaurants and all the grocery stores all that ground beef is bones ground up man don't matter you leave them alone because it's delicious
01:12:41
Speaker
I know. Who cares what it's made out of? It's delicious. I'm on my fucking casting couch right there. Shane said, The Matrix, what are you doing with your life? All cast. See it.
01:12:55
Speaker
if it' stupid yeah Where's our movie guy? He said, see it. Oh, fuck. right you know You know, being a comic and writing about real life and talking about real life, ah you know,
01:13:09
Speaker
People, like you said, the the girls are growing up, you know, the kids are growing up, life changes, you know, um yeah that's one of those adapting and growing and maturing as ah as a comedian, you know. um Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mature more comedian. Like I just the other day I looked at I was getting ready for my shower and I look at my so I've got two great pubic hairs, man, for real.
01:13:34
Speaker
Pretty soon it's gonna be like steel wool down there, you know, me too lucky bastard. evolving. It looks kind of like your beard. Like there's one stripe of gray. I'm like, I wish that was all that you I have a lot of gray in my beard and a lot of gray in my hair.
01:13:51
Speaker
yeah Yes. each the The carpet is starting to match the dreams. i'm telling me and i we are going to jump in that truck he's going to make a run to florida he's going to pick me up i'm meet him somewhere park the minivan i'm like oh we could put the minivan in the back of his truck and he goes yeah we'll do that i'll come on like like uh optimus prime you put yeah You can put your minivan right in the trailer. Great saying. What's up, Scorpio? I can put my minivan in the back of Shane B's trailer and just be like, ah kids, get of the way. I'm parking this bitch. And then be like, all right, if anybody needs to sit in the minivan, all the child the children he's trafficking could.
01:14:35
Speaker
Shane B's going to run you over with that damn truck. I'm overdrive. There's a movie reference for you, Shane B. Yeah. Yeah. um When you're doing when you're doing your your comedy, what do you prefer more? Do you like the one-liners or do you like the the art of storytelling?
01:14:55
Speaker
um I like the art of storytelling more, but I just have to get better. It's not easy because you you don't want to lose the crowd. you gotta like get rid of certain, you gotta get rid of words, man. You gotta tighten it up and tell your story. And you want to tell the story the way that you remember it, but you have to deliver it in a way that the crowd is going to respond to it. And that makes it hard for the art part of it.
01:15:20
Speaker
If you do it for yourself, then it's art. You're like, I'm telling my story. It's art and if they like it, it's good art, but if you dumb it down, and do it you know for them, then it's it's commerce. Rick Rubin talked about that. I love that clip of him. It was like in his book, he talked about it 60 Minutes or something.
01:15:40
Speaker
And so um I love telling stories way better, dude. but That's like what we're doing right now, just going back and forth. I've bitted you a couple of times with some fucking line punches and bullshit jokes, but also some stories like that. That was real. And to get their attention and to keep it, you know,
01:16:00
Speaker
And then for them to actually enjoy it it's it's a bit of work, man. You know, it really is. People that can, there they're good at something. i don't know. So i hope to get there.
01:16:11
Speaker
And i don't I don't know about necessarily dumbing it down. It almost seems like, in a way, you gotta you got to church it up a little bit. You got to add that more theatrical or, you know, you know or more
Storytelling in the TikTok Era
01:16:23
Speaker
animated. on Like, as as a as a person, you have to get more animated or whatever to really Because unfortunately, we do live in a world of a 30-second... Oh, what's the word?
01:16:36
Speaker
Satisfaction? 30-second just... No, with TikTok and and in reels and shorts and stuff like that. Attention span, that's word I was looking for. You know yeah like ah you get like a 30-second to a 60-second attention span with people anymore. It's hard to...
01:16:58
Speaker
trying to keep their attention if you're going into a long-winded, drawn-out story. Yeah, that could take away from the parts of the story that the storyteller enjoys.
01:17:09
Speaker
then But the the crowd might not give a shit about that part. Just get to the meat and potatoes of it, you know? So it's it's it's definitely weird. And, there's third dude, there's um storytelling shows.
01:17:22
Speaker
You know, like, so if if if that's what you're into and you don't want to, you know, shorten it, dumb it down, you know, whatever, then maybe that's the place to go and tell the whole story. But what to your point, um you're right. If you can...
01:17:37
Speaker
animate those parts instead of dumbing them down, you might be able to still deliver that part of the story to your satisfaction as a storyteller, but also entertain them at the same time by being animated about it, having the right body language that matches the part of the story, that kind of thing. you know That makes perfect sense. Man, that there's a reason why you got the comedy lounge tonight, bro.
01:17:57
Speaker
i know a little bit about I know a little bit about a little bit. in ah but ah that's cool That's cool. I'm a pretty well-versed guy. Yeah, no. thank you
01:18:08
Speaker
Sometimes, but... No. What is your... I've seen some of your videos, clips, and for anybody who wants to, you know, it's we've got Kevin Holly there in the Facebook in the chat.
01:18:28
Speaker
You guys can give him a follow and give a like. um Your stage presence, are you are you more just kind of old school comic, stand there, tell your jokes, walk back and forth? or you know how do you how are How are you on stage?
01:18:43
Speaker
i'll yeah I'll use every stage like ah like a drunk Tuesday afternoon stripper with bullet wounds. you know yeah like There's a lot of those in Florida.
01:18:55
Speaker
yeah Oh, yeah, dude. I've been on a stage of milk crepes before, um and I've been on theater stages before. So if the stage is big enough, I'm
Exploring Diverse Comedy Shows
01:19:06
Speaker
using all of it. I just posted a clip on my Facebook, on Instagram, I think TikTok, ah think TikTok, because um I like Chinese TikTok.
01:19:16
Speaker
But it's ah it's me at a clean show called The Comedy Trap, and they're badass. It's like the urban show every Sunday at Sidesplitters, right? And in Wesley Chapel, Florida. Not Tampa, but Wesley Chapel, the one with the theater. Tampa's got the comedy club, you know, the the iconic, like, 30-something-year-old Howard Deuceman forever.
01:19:35
Speaker
But the Wesley Chapel's, like, in a movie theater, and they converted the theater into, like, a comedy club. and the the bottom is all flat with tables and chairs like a traditional style comedy club stage is as big as the the movie screen backdrop and they use that Cool.
01:19:52
Speaker
Yeah. And the sound quality is amazing because it goes up and all the other seats are theater seats, you know? But anyway, they do a show every Sunday called the comedy trap and it's an urban show, but I'm by, by the comedy trap promoters and they're all black dudes. Right. And they're all cool.
01:20:06
Speaker
And, and it's kind of like having your own like deaf comedy jam or, or show time at the Apollo. Um, in a theater setting with a big stage with the backdrop it's badass dude and it's every sunday and the first show every sunday is a clean show and you get a lot of church people and the the du i'm telling you the black people that show up for it they dress nice they're excited about it it's a community just fucking people that like comedy and stuff and but yeah or that it's clean show the first week you know the first stop so i be fucked up didnt I've done it a few times, but I did last Sunday, like this week, Sunday, and I told two clean jokes, and and then I was like, guys, I'm going to do two clean jokes, and then we're going pray together. Does that sound like fun? Yeah.
01:20:57
Speaker
And then ah then I had the sound guy up in the sound booth. I gave him music to play for me. And I was like, just follow my lead. And when I say I have a feeling or whatever, you know, start playing it, pot it up slowly, you know. And it was like kind of like church praise music, you know. So I was like, you know, I love that joke. You know loved that joke? Jesus loved that joke. Then I was like, you know, I love you.
01:21:19
Speaker
You guys love me. Jesus loves you. I love Jesus. Sometimes I get this feeling. And the music's like boosh, boosh, boosh, boosh.
01:21:28
Speaker
you know i was like you know and i went down to the front row and everything it was dumb as shit but um dude you know what what are you gonna do with the stage how's your stage presence your question if it's a small milk crate you're just gonna stand there and try not to vibrate too much that's how i am because i'm like you know i'm highly caffeinated i'll have a beer you know like um yeah But if it's a big stage like that, dude, I i love to use
Mastering Stage Presence
01:21:53
Speaker
the stage. look at Look at Chris Rock. Chris Rock uses that stage, man. He just walks back and forth. He never stops.
01:21:59
Speaker
When you stop, you better have good material. If you're standing there with a mic stand in front you, you better have good material because there's nothing to watch. People might look at their phone. They might look at their watch. They might look at the the fucking scenery in the in the in the theater. you know, walk around a little bit, something, do any kind of small mannerisms, body language.
01:22:20
Speaker
That's how I feel anyway, you know? So I'll, dude I'll, oh I'll, I'll eat dicks all day long on a stage like that. I, I think it goes back to the, and and ah and as a fan, um, you know, speaking solely as a fan, you know, I'm no way, shape or form. I'm a comedian, but, um,
01:22:40
Speaker
I think that goes back to the attention span. You know, like you said, if you're just standing up there, you know, not doing anything, just telling your jokes, yeah, you're going to start to, unless they're super good, you're going to start to lose the crowd. But, you know, that...
01:22:55
Speaker
flashy movement it's that shiny object and they're gonna oh wait he's still up there what's he doing you know i'll tell you i saw arsimeo hall he's got to be a thousand years old man i saw him um uh what was it friday night saturday last week and uh at ruth eckard hall in clearwater in clearwater and bro if he came out adorable with his hat you know He's got a ball cap on with a nice shiny suit.
01:23:26
Speaker
And he was like, are you going to do it? And all the white, it was all white people, dude, for the most part. Old white people. And they were like, oh, oh, oh, they all did that, you know? Oh, I knew it. And dude, he like did all the things as a comedy fan that you probably understand, you know?
01:23:45
Speaker
he, he dressed the part. He addressed the crowd. He, he, he, he made small talk and salutations at the beginning. And then he delivered material. That was a mix of, uh, storytelling memories of, uh, late night talk show. He referenced the headliner who was Jay fucking Leno that night, you know, they go,
01:24:05
Speaker
Yeah. And so then he talked about growing up and even mentioned a little bit of basketball and then some current event stuff, but no politics. you know I think he he went like a little middle on the politics and made fun of like the left and the right at the same time and then just walked away from it.
01:24:21
Speaker
And everybody fucking loved it. It was one of the best comedy shows I've ever seen in my life. arsen of all people dude you know what i mean who would have thought the late night talk show host from the 80s and early 90s would be that good yeah i mean our signals all our city has always been fucking funny though i mean do yeah and and And to your point, he used the whole stage.
01:24:42
Speaker
Even at 99 years old, he was walking back and forth just like Chris Brown. I want to address Scorpio in the chat. It said James greg Gregory is all-time favorite.
01:24:59
Speaker
Which brings me, you know, for you coming into this world, even before you decided to make this step into this world of comedy, Who are some of the comedians that, you know, that you, I don't want to say that you want to be like, but looked up to and maybe style some of your stuff.
Inspirations from Comedy Legends
01:25:19
Speaker
that's the easiest question you could have possibly asked me tonight click thanks man give me already know the answer to it but i'll let you now 100 robin williams somebody asked me the question when i was uh in my early i'm definitely not a comedian or streaming or anything i was a marketer you know um and i like i like to go fishing yeah mentioned You know, and this telemarketing job and a guy asked me, he's like, you think you're funny? Cause I used to write characters, character chores of, of my coworkers, you know, great working in cubicles. I spent a lot of time working in cubicles, but draw pictures of the people that were around me in their, in their cubicles. I would, I would draw comics like fucking guy and that fucking guy in this, you know, scenario, they're at the coffee shop and he's like, Hey, well, you know, it's click and kevin kevin's like hey go fuck yourself looking looks like i'm gay stuff like that you know so okay this one guy he asked me his name was barry and barry won a hundred thousand dollars on the fantasy five uh lottery in florida and it was 86 000 and he said he smoked it all away and crack and that's why he's there telemarketing And I was like, holy shit.
01:26:33
Speaker
respect And he's like, you think you're funny? Because I ah drew a picture of him and it looked just like him. and And it said, cock bite. I'll never forget it, dude. I still have it.
01:26:43
Speaker
And he's like, you think you're funny? And I was like, yeah, I'm kind of funny. And he's like, who's favorite comedian? And I said, Robin Williams. And this was passing notes back and forth. you know We were passing notes back and forth. And it turns out Barry was like like an old school like comedian guy that was you know found crack, fell in love with it. And you know what I mean?
01:27:05
Speaker
telemarketing. So it was cool for him to say like, wow, that's a good one, you know? and And I was like, I don't know what a good one is. I just like Robin Williams. I liked how he did cocaine probably and ran into the crowd and just was weird. Yeah, he was just a weird guy.
01:27:22
Speaker
Yeah, and he was a great actor too, you know? But also, um I love Rodney Dangerfield and Johnny Carson um as far as talk shows and Don Rickles. I think Don Rickles on Johnny Carson and also Rodney Dangerfield on Johnny Carson is some of the funniest shit I've ever seen comedians ever do.
01:27:45
Speaker
Um, I'll say it again, Glick. There's a clip. You can look it up. Uh, it's pretty easy to find. And it's Don Rickles sitting, ah in the chair next to Johnny Carson on the Johnny Carson show, you know, the late night show, whatever.
01:27:59
Speaker
And, uh, he's telling a story and he's like, I was on a date and Don Rickles, is an old wrinkly guy at the time, you know? And he's like, I was on a date with this beautiful woman in this nice restaurant in New York. And of all people, uh, uh, the Duke, you know, what's his name? You know, the, the, uh, John Wayne?
01:28:16
Speaker
No, not the Duke. Not John Wayne. Fuck. ah The Rat Pack guy, the singer, the fucking Italian. Oh, Frank Sinatra? Frank Sinatra, thank you. Yeah. Sinatra, he Don Rickles sees Frank Sinatra like over by the bathroom, and he tells us his date, hey, I'll be right back.
01:28:34
Speaker
And he walks over to Sinatra, and he's like, hey, Frank, I'm on a date tonight with this beautiful woman. she's a big fan, you're a big celebrity, would you mind coming by the table? And I'm probably fucking this up, but he's like, would you mind coming by the table and just saying hello to me and making me look cool in front of this date?
01:28:51
Speaker
And Frank Sinatra's like, yeah, totally do that for you, Don, I got you. He's like, okay, cool. So Don goes back and sits down, and a couple minutes later, Frank Sinatra walks over to the table and he walks past, and then he stops and turns and looks at Don Rickles and he steps back and he goes,
01:29:06
Speaker
Oh, Don, Don Rickles. Hey, man, nice to see you. And he puts his hand out to shake his hand, and Don Rickles is like, can't you see him on a date, Frank? I'm busy. I'm pretty busy.
01:29:20
Speaker
I that stuff, man. Ronnie He'll just going on and on and on and on and on, just line punch, line punch, line punch. And then um Mark Norman's probably my favorite right now, dude. Same scenario, dude. It's just the weirdest, like he does this weird, ah I don't know if this is how he writes his jokes, but he writes like a like a T.
01:29:39
Speaker
And he'll have two subjects, everything he can think about about each subject, and then he just kind of crisscrosses until they all make sense. You know what i mean? And there's something about Mark Norman's writing style that just blows me away. I think he's great, man. you know um So all that being said, yeah that's where I'm at. What about you? Who's your favorite grown-up, dude? We're almost the same age.
01:30:00
Speaker
I don't like comedy. I hate it. I hate them all. i No, man. Believe it or not, growing up, I was always a di i i love Dice. loved Dice. I loved it. And I know I was ah probably, was I allowed to watch Andrew Dice? Yeah.
01:30:17
Speaker
Should I have been watching Andrew Dice when I was little? No. Same with Richard Pryor. Same with the Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby. you know I grew up watching those guys and I love those guys. Sam Kennison. It wasn't until I got older.
01:30:33
Speaker
I don't think Sam Kennison is all that funny. I think he was just loud. Yeah. i mean you Like he's an old screaming guy and and it made me laugh as a kid. yeah Yeah. I mean, it was funny because he's talking about stuff on the phone with his girlfriend is stuff like your parents would never say, but you heard your parents do it. You know what i mean?
01:30:52
Speaker
That's how I felt about it. But I'm a little bit older. um I also ah agree with Bill Cosby. I know that's controversial to say, yeah but in the 90s, I was dating my high school sweetheart went to a university in Illinois where I grew up and i ended up going more towards the suburbs of Chicago and I went to a tech school.
01:31:14
Speaker
And so we just kind of drifted apart. But the first year when she went to the university, I went down there with her parents for parents weekend. And um we saw Bill Cosby at the assembly hall at the university of Illinois. And it was,
01:31:29
Speaker
like 100,000 people or something ridiculous. to you know whatever it's And it was just Bill Cosby, and it was clean comedy. And who would have thought? you know yeah Yeah, all these years later, you know it's a different thing. But yeah, no, I mean, I i obviously grew up watching some of the, you know and then even now, you know I've always been a hey and this is one of those guys, love him or hate him, I think he's borderline the Nickelback of stand-up comedy, Dane Cook.
01:31:56
Speaker
And I love Dane Cook. yeah I love Dane Cook. did you Okay, did you know this? Fun fact. I just saw this on Facebook, so you know it's true. um Or in New York or L.A., somewhere fucking, I don't know, some big comedy club.
01:32:12
Speaker
ah Dane Cook and um Dave Chappelle have traded back and forth over the years who has had the longest set.
Trivia and Records in Comedy
01:32:20
Speaker
And this goes to your point of how long you go on Saturdays. there So it was like, at first it was like Dave Chappelle did like two hours and ten minutes.
01:32:29
Speaker
you know And then Dane Cook was like a week later, two hours and 40 minutes. you know And then Dave Chappelle, like six months later, did like three and a half hours. You blew him out of the water. Then dave Dane Cook came back and did like five hours. And they're like, what? Who would sit through that?
01:32:42
Speaker
And then Dane Cook came back and did like six hours and 70 minutes. it a fuck emotional like that dude i like I had no idea. I had no clue. I don't know if it's true or not, but And Chappelle's another one. I think he's one of the greatest to ever do it, and in my opinion.
01:32:57
Speaker
And again, what do I know outside of being a fan? But Dane Cook and Chappelle, I can see them doing five, six hours because they're also both very animated and great storytellers.
01:33:08
Speaker
Well, if you the energy. Yeah, that goes back to, you know, Dane Cook will tell some long ass stories. But in the middle of those stories, while he's telling them, he He's very up in the air and he's doing all this crazy shit. And Chappelle's the same way. So you can tell them long stories.
01:33:27
Speaker
yeah But you kind of you know, like we were talking earlier, you got to keep people's attentions. Otherwise they start drifting on you. So if I could get an hour clean and an hour of, you know, R-rated and have it be good, if I could do an R-rated hour and an hour R-rated. Man, it'll take me for, I should have it by now, but of course not. but So Jay Leno said it really well. And Patrick Welsh told me about this when he went to the fantasy camp that Jay Leno and Adam Carolla put on in Los Angeles years ago. He went to that.
01:34:02
Speaker
and uh he said that um he asked jay leno to elaborate on something that jay leno had said at an earlier time in in his career and uh jay leno was just like eyes glossed over just a thousand years old like oh we'll talk later you know he just took pictures and it was just gay yeah but um what what leno said and this is what resonates is that a lot of stand-up comedians, and I think this applies to other stuff too, like streaming, radio, podcasting, acting, author, you know, um fucking being a mechanic, anything really professional.
Advice from Comedy Veterans
01:34:37
Speaker
um When you get to the six or seven or eight year mark, you know, a lot of good people quit Maybe they're not making enough money. Maybe they're making different career path. they had kids.
01:34:49
Speaker
so You know, tragedy. Anything can happen. But a lot of people, he said in stand-up specifically, quit before their sixth, seventh, or eighth year when they actually were good. They're getting good.
01:35:00
Speaker
You know? And a lot of good ones just stopped doing it. So I always tell my my bestest friends, and I'll say it to the world tonight, like, when I get to year six, I'm in year five. I'd like to see what happens in year six and just keep going.
01:35:13
Speaker
mean, why not? of all people to say it, Jay Leno is a ah fucking legend, you know? so Oh, absolutely. why you know he He's done a little bit of everything. Yeah. yeah and You know, i that's that's honestly some really good advice. And I would like to say, you know, I've been doing this for almost five years now, but in all honesty, I created this network about a year and a half ago and started you know went from and and You know, went from the garage, where literally just hanging out, to, you know, let's do it in a podcast, quote-unquote podcast, say but doing the same thing. The only difference was i had a panel with a couple other guys. You know, I co-host that I would hang out with, and I wasn't just talking to ah The Matrix, which you've never seen that movie, so you wouldn't understand. but The to you.
01:36:01
Speaker
blessing But, ah you know, to now, you know, we're about a year and a half, almost two years into this this network thing where I've become very heavily focused on content. Yeah, we still do the throw the shit at a wall on Saturday night, but even that's evolved where we invite our followers and our fans to come up and hang out with us on panel.
01:36:20
Speaker
it's kind of like It's kind of like the evolution of calling your favorite radio station, which, you know, you and I both go back to that because we both love radio music. Lord knows you've called into radio stations. I've called into radio station, but this is like the evolution of these are my favorite podcasters or streamers. I'm hanging out watching them on Saturday. Now, now I can join them and be a part of their show.
01:36:43
Speaker
That's cool, too, because you've got nice technology. like you Everything's evolved. You know what mean? It's cool, man. You've got wrestling belts in the background, a chat drop right there. you got Windows and streaming. Anybody on Saturday nights? That's unheard of, dude. Imagine if Patrick Welch did shit on the I'm Not Right Network, but he could just jump on and be boom, there's some strange fucking guy. Oh God, the most weird goons ever. i So how cool is that, dude? I'm going to do that. I'm going to solicit your Saturday night shows to fucking weird terrorists overseas and be like, you have opinion. Go on the Click Show, dude.
01:37:22
Speaker
We would probably have way too much fun with them. but We get weirdos. We get weirdos that come on there. I mean, it happens, but you know we usually deal with them accordingly and then show them the door. But yeah, man. um You know, to to go back to what you said about Jay Leno with that year six, now I'm like, God, I basically started all over again when I got focused on content. Now I got another four years to see. No, man, you've been doing this for long enough, man. So, you know, you're probably already in year six and you don't even count right because you're retarded.
01:37:57
Speaker
this is This is true. No, just not fully retarded. Just mildly retarded. Yeah.
01:38:04
Speaker
huge gang appreciate you wally appreciate you brother huge growth for your dreams like hey man i'm just just a guy with a with a computer and some cool ass fucking friends i get to hang out with you know every week so up i like your chat man these guys are cool i can sort of see it it's not your fault that i'm just blind you're blind and you're probably on an iphone so yeah well you know it's on a gimbal it's cool you know but You can sing like ah Barry White. like Hey, girl.
01:38:33
Speaker
Oh, yeah. If only you knew. Well, see, they can see you. It's not like having hiding behind the radio. They're like, no, they can see you. and They know that you're only 3'9". And why can and tan and I've got abs, bro. Like, come on.
01:38:53
Speaker
it's so It's the lighting. Come on, dude. From the Red Sox, the the second baseman, you know. No. little hit for average and so occasional home runs. Occasional home runs. Nice.
01:39:07
Speaker
So you were talking about you want to do, you would love to have an hour of clean and an hour of rated R.
Comedic Aspirations and Challenges
01:39:14
Speaker
Yeah. with You know, again, some there's some people that we know that blow your mind. Bob Saget was one of those guys. He was wholesome dad from Full House. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, Bob Saget does stand-up comedy. And it's cocaine hookers and blah, you know, and everything. they but whoa that's that's not Full House dad right there.
01:39:35
Speaker
But... i'm but I'm not trying to do that. You know, like I just want to work on a cruise boat so i can get a free vacation, bro. Come on. you know Easy Malibu Mo.
01:39:46
Speaker
excuse yeah really you That's what they want. they You know, you might have to do, you know, 14 shows in seven days. on I mean, honestly, a cruise ship comedian doesn't sound like a bad gig.
01:40:02
Speaker
I mean, I don't know. I've got a couple of ah acquaintances and and Rio, you remember Rio Paris? ah Yeah, they've been doing that. There's a handful of guys that have been doing it that I've either opened for or just, you know, have been friends with like Rio.
01:40:19
Speaker
And ah I picked their brain and stuff. And I did ask this one guy, Alex Aiken. Is that how say his last name? ah he's like buts And I was like, hey, man, that message. And I was like, what is it? is I was so new at this. I was like, what does it take to get in there on the cruise boats? Like, what do i have to do? Like, how do I do it?
01:40:39
Speaker
And the first thing he said to me, he goes, you got to get good. Yeah.
01:40:46
Speaker
out good dude i was like yeah i'm like a dick he was like for real once you get good you're gonna need like a lot of material a lot of dirty material and you're gonna have to be prepared to do 14 shows in seven days and you're gonna have to be prepared to be gone for a long time and you have to have representation um you know start with getting good you know and then of course promote and and and all these things that i don't want to you know show you how the sausage is made people okay it was all about we're going behind the scenes we're pulling the curtain back i don't even know like i guess like make a an electronic press kit have some good clips a little bit dirty a little bit uh clean uh somebody that's actually introducing you as you come out you know like in the crowd's reaction uh good audio good video be dressed nice be likable um all kinds of things man there's a million things that you have to put it all together the right way so that they want to see it have a good website
01:41:44
Speaker
You can't have a geo cities, man. Like, yeah you know, it costs money. You gotta be clever. And the most important part, get good. um So hopefully someday, man, we'll see. some Someday you do. You do a lot of,
01:42:00
Speaker
oh what's the word? I don't want to say offensive, but you do a lot of jokes that are triggering. Not a lot, but yeah, dude. Yeah. did has that Has that bit you in the ass when you've been on stage or after a show or anything where somebody's like, dude, that joke that you made about ice or whatever, really? Come on.
01:42:28
Speaker
like i should beat you into the ground right now. I did the ice joke. it's For those haven't heard the joke, and you know in a nutshell i said that i pulled a jerry mcguire at work and quit my job and i'm joining ice who's with me you know ah yeah charlie are you with me no you know sarah are you with me no then i'm like jose alejandro either way let's go you're coming with me little bit more cute or whatever but i did that joke at a place where on
01:43:00
Speaker
I don't want to say but it was a Thursday night and I did that joke and then it's on his social media so he won't say but go to his social media the Kevin Holly show or Kevin Holly and you can see where it was at all right I'll be back there no the place is so nice so it's no surprise that they would ask you not to be like controversial as a host you know there was ever a place to dress nice and be cool and likable and not political or or religious or or blasphemous that would be the place it's called gregory uh gregory's upstairs comedy club in coco beach go back there it's beautiful it really is and but i didn't think that that joke was that political so i did that joke i made worse jokes as i thought it would fun
01:43:46
Speaker
But um somebody didn't like it. And so that Friday I went back and the owner of the club was like, hey, man, but you know, heard you last night. And I was like, oh, shit. And what's funny is that Thursday night, the headliner that night told me, like, ooh, yeah, you probably shouldn't have done that one. Yeah.
01:44:04
Speaker
ah bad so she was like you know i heard you did that joke last night or whatever like we don't we have a strict rule about not being political you know people you know get triggered or you know we don't pull her eyes the room especially for the host whatever she's super cool about it like super and i was like oh i'm so sorry that actually the headliner told me not i shouldn't have done it so i've already omitted it that list you know and and now i know what to do and tonight and tomorrow night are gonna be with i promise and uh but i was like thought it was more racist than political.
01:44:37
Speaker
Yeah.
01:44:40
Speaker
it's it's It's always about reading the room and reading the audience, I think. I mean, we have, ah you know, i from from Jump Street, know, that was the two rules was no politics, no religion. and i And that was done intentionally because when you go down an avenue of of politics and it might work in Florida.
01:44:58
Speaker
you know Or it might work and in Ohio Or it might work you know Other places but it's not going to work In like California It's not going to work in the New England states You know what i mean But I made it very clear like I don't want to do politics I don't want to do religion Because right off the bat automatically You segregate an audience And you lose half your potential audience Segregate? Like separate? legal what do you What are you saying? I don't know It's not in it yet. You calm down. i know you're down south and things are still a little questionable down there in the way you guys operate. but
01:45:34
Speaker
No, for real, man. i agree. try not to. If I do, it's lighthearted. um I mean, of course, like, ah And I'll tell you this personally, i lean slightly left of center socially.
01:45:50
Speaker
I'm very inclusive with the the the social aspects of of politics, like just love who you love, be happy. and I'm not going to pretend or participate in your weird world or whatever, you know but I'm not going to hate you for whatever you believe. like Do whatever you want. don't care.
01:46:07
Speaker
um Just don't hurt kids, you know, and then whatever. And then i lean a little bit more right of center fiscally. Like, hey, stop up taxing us so much. Why do I have to register my car every year? you already have it in the computer.
01:46:21
Speaker
Yeah. You know what I mean? um and And I switched my my political affiliation. um I started off as independent because I didn't know as a kid. And then i I didn't like Obama because I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. And I thought, this guy's a junior senator that voted president more than he voted yes or no. And I thought he was like,
01:46:40
Speaker
you know i was like yeah so i changed a republican so i could vote in the prize and then i realized man everyone's fucking crazy so i don't want to be on a list so i switched to no party affiliation so now i'm an npa so i would rather just not pick side think it's all theater and bullshit exactly like actually real they're spraying very where we you know umminum and and aluminum andumminum ah food but is that he's one of the bubees at man they all died the ones that are still alive have a a huge amount of I don't
01:47:21
Speaker
i <unk> yeah um so great like gotta get ready to wrap this bad boy up Oh, for fuck's sake. I we were going to like 2.38. I got to go. You got to join us for Saturday for that.
01:47:36
Speaker
I'll come back for a Saturday. I'm going to pop in. Yeah, I'm trying to get Stan to come back on a Saturday. So um I know and and i want and i would like to hear i know you're you're busy in Florida, and I'd like to hear, do you have any plans or to get out of the state of Florida and and tour and and actually hit the road?
01:47:57
Speaker
Oh man, yeah. um um um I'm waiting on a couple of things that changed last year. um One of my best friends, he's not allowed to leave the state right now. you should yeah a brewery winery tour kind of happening, but we'll put that on pause now for real. um I've got a couple of buddies that um we're we're thinking about, you know, putting together some, some things like that. And Ohio is actually ironically included um because there's a couple of comedy clubs. I forget what town it is. It's one of my friends where he grew up um and he's already in at those clubs. So we're trying to like make a way there and back. And it's,
01:48:41
Speaker
brewery shows along the way and just book it out maybe take two or three weeks and do something cool like that um but for right now i'm just you know uh trying to get booked wherever i can in florida at comedy clubs and theaters and i'm super blessed man it's been like really cool um i'll be at gregory's this weekend sunday at side splitters for trap show And then um the rest of March, I'm doing ah Comedians Uncorked in Ocala for Pat Largo. You might remember Pat Largo.
01:49:11
Speaker
Yeah. The radio guy, too. Yeah. He did, like, traffic. you know Yeah. That's to be really cool. And then I got the sun Richie Suncoast Theater for Adam Minnick. I'm opening for Adam Minnick. That's going to be badass. That's coming up in April. And then what else is in March?
01:49:30
Speaker
Shit, I almost forgot. ah Oh, I got to look at my schedule, dude. I'll post it. ah Yeah, dude, all this fun, and I can't remember my own shit. But, yeah, I got a lot going on, man. I'm trying to book, um you know, June, July. August, I'll be back at Snappers in Palm Harbor featuring for a weekend. That'll be cool.
01:49:49
Speaker
So, yeah, it's a lot of cool things happening, man. Sounds like you're getting a lot of ah feature, you know, weekends and some features. That's all I want. That's awesome. if you're not you If you're not booked up and you're not and you're not you know already meant to be somewhere else, are you still hitting up a lot of the open mics and kind of, quote-unquote, mastering your craft? Yeah, for sure, dude. Last night I did a showcase at Liquid Garage brew brewry Brewery in Trinity Forest. Very cool.
01:50:22
Speaker
I did 15 minutes with ah James Estreline from the Stand Up For News radio show that I'm a part of. you know That's really cool. ah He's doing that was a lot of fun. eo Pedro headlined it, fucking weirdo.
01:50:37
Speaker
But those 15-minute showcase feature spots in when you can. um i hit that old brewery, brewery ring.
01:50:48
Speaker
In Spring Hill, that's a fun one too. Ryan Cleveland, really cool room that we've been going to there for years, man. That's one of the best places to do open mics now. So yeah, I'm not afraid of an open mic. Are you kidding me? I need the open mics, dude. I'm still quite open mic.
01:51:04
Speaker
You know what i mean? Like, yeah, i yeah it's it's cool to graduate and my girlfriend will hate me for saying that. So like, don't sell yourself short, but I still am, dude. I need those mics, dude. I need them. Like if I i know that the weekend's coming up, I was so happy to do last night before tomorrow night. You know what i'm saying?
01:51:21
Speaker
Get that 15 minutes in and and just see what the crowd liked about like, dude, I mixed up all my jokes. I fucked them all up. Just what do they want to hear? What what should I tell them? You know, how should I go from here to there? That kind of stuff.
01:51:34
Speaker
Um, that's, that's huge. And I'll get there Thursday and I'll try to be clean, cool, collected. And then I'll be able to see the feature in the headliner. And then Friday and Saturday, I'll have something to go off of, you know, yeah you remember him, you know, he did this, he did that, maybe set, you know, ah set up the pins, let him roll the ball down the, down the lane.
The Importance of Originality
01:51:55
Speaker
You know what mean? yeah Well, it's one of those things. I mean, I think in in any facet of entertaining or entertainment, you know Growth and being able to always evolve and change. and And, you know, so you're not stuck in a rut.
01:52:11
Speaker
You know, you don't find yourself stuck in that ah same routine where you're just doing the same shit. And you're taking it here and here and here and here because... you know, with any, whether be comedy, music, whatever, you get a fan base and they're going to, you know, they're going to, Oh man, he's 15 minutes away tonight. Oh, next week. And he's a half hour away. They don't want to come see the same shit that, that you know, you've already done 20 times. So I think it's a great thing for the open mic. So you can go and play around with new shit. And and again, this is just me being a fan. I'm not a comedian by no means.
01:52:46
Speaker
I'm just a fan on the outside looking in that, you know, knows a little bit about the industry. yeah like Like if I'm hosting a weekend, which has been the majority of my work over the last five years, and I'm just, I mean, I've featured like one-offs and showcased a lot, but I've only, you know, featuring a whole weekend is a way bigger thing than hosting whole weekend. Yeah. that's yeah But that being said, like if I'm hosting a weekend at a comedy club, I will tell my friends and family, I'll post on Facebook, hey, I'm opening for these guys and this venue, come see them, come see this venue.
01:53:24
Speaker
You know, awesome. It's gonna be so much fun. It's not about me, it's about them. You know, I'm the lucky one, you know what i mean? And so are they to be able to see these headliners and features, you know?
01:53:38
Speaker
um You know, it's very important to do those open mics and stuff when you're featuring or or getting ahead of hosting, getting ahead of it. Because now you're able to say like, hey, I'm actually, I'm featuring this weekend, you know, come see me and you better be punished if you're inviting people, dude. Yeah.
01:53:56
Speaker
and say, hey, come see me in the headliner. when We're doing this. You know what mean? Like, it's not just an open mic. Come see me perform at Comics Night Out.
01:54:06
Speaker
No, man, that's that's come see me practice at Comics Night Out. Come see all of us practice at Comics Night Out. Come see the amazing venue that hosts Comics Night Out, where you get to see a bunch of new comics, old comics, practicing comics, working comics. You know what mean? o it's it's it's It's so much different than, hey, come look at my dick. I'm so cool.
01:54:30
Speaker
No. i I think it boils down to, you know, ultimately, you know it takes a community man you got you got to have a community you got to have the right community and again that's that's for whether it's stand-up uh the podcasting music acting whatever you have to have that right community around you that's going to support each other and want to watch everybody win at the same time as as they're winning and then pick pick somebody that you like like like ah A great example. i remember when you came down, I think the people that were hot back then and still are, of course, but the people that were hot that that weekend that you were down, I want to say Matt Williams, Stephen Henry, John Jacobs, stuff like that. Right. Yeah. It was Rio, Matt, John.
01:55:18
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. There's some chick. I remember her name. She was mean. yeah They all are, dude. I cry every night. yeah he she She was mean to me for no reason. and Thankfully, Matt Williams was there. I love that guy. who was is he He consoled me and cuddled me. In the streets of Ybor. Is that...
01:55:43
Speaker
but is that that Pick the ones that you want to see after seeing that. And now, grown-ass man, because you were just a little baby girl bouncing on my knee that weekend. now don ass and right And you can say to yourself, wow, I remember Rio Paris, and now he's on Carnival Cruise Lines. Oh, wow. I remember John Jacobs. He's back in Tampa for the next two weeks. I could go see him at this club or that, clip but you know, don't tell her, you know what I mean? So like you could have picked anybody. If I would have picked, uh, Matt Williams, to be honest with you.
01:56:19
Speaker
william I love that guy. He was one of my favorites. I met him, uh, on, uh, open mic live when they were doing, i was in the chat and, and, Then him and I were in the chat on your show a few times, and he was one of the few people that I was really excited to meet. And and when I got to meet him, he was, i mean what you know, I'm talking about outside of our initial circle. We had our circle, you know, you, me, and Stan. and And back then there was a big almost seven-foot mongoloid that that we associated with. you know
01:56:54
Speaker
But outside of our initial circle, Matt Williams was one of those guys that I was, Really excited to to to meet and and see if he was the same person in real life as he was online. And he he was and he was such a nice guy.
01:57:08
Speaker
yeah know, we had a lot of fun. We joked around a lot, you know, and and it was cool for me because not being a comedian, there was a lot of really funny people there at that comedy club and getting to hang out with them.
01:57:19
Speaker
And I made a lot of them laugh. And that was cool. And I'm just a jerk off back then. Now I'm like, man, give me a shot now. You know, I'm i'm official now. Yeah.
01:57:33
Speaker
I think that's cool because of all the people mentioned, Matt Williams is like an ultrasound tech delivering babies or something, you know, not doing standup. And these other guys are just killing it.
01:57:44
Speaker
And it's like, yeah, but we both love Matt Williams. Yeah. Not that i now that I didn't love everybody else. It was just a matter of I didn't have the same interactions. And like I talked to Rio a couple times in and out of chat when he was on shows and whatnot and and you know but it was just matt was that one guy kind of like like you and i how we met through ah you know oh fuck it i'll say it i don't care uh hoppy's hoppy hour um if you're into special needs podcast you'll we'll like that one you know we met through that it was the same way with matt and i i met him through stan and and whatnot and then you guys and just kind of
01:58:25
Speaker
Even like Shane B in the chat, you know, him and I just knew each other from the chat and breaking your balls when you were live or when you were doing your show. So. Shane one more time, man, the guy, I'll tell you what, man. Every time i I did stand up for news, I either had his t-shirt under my jacket or I had his, he made me a Tumblr, you know, and I would bring but beer and, you know what mean? Like something. always All right, I'm going to get out of here, man. I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to get out of here.
01:58:56
Speaker
um You leave when I tell you to leave. um No, I'm done, man. I'm done. I haven't given you the light I only got three hours of material, man. yeah Before we get out of here, that this is i kind of this is what I do to all my guests, no matter what the show is.
01:59:14
Speaker
Mainly my music show, but I'm carrying it over. Right before we get out of here, I've got to put you on the spot. for you for for your For your genre specifically in stand-up comedy, and I know you're still kind of ah a fresh face, but you've been doing it for a little minute a little minute, a final thought and or like your advice for somebody who may think they want to get into comedy ah or or do the stand-up game.
01:59:40
Speaker
um Your personal words, not something that somebody else said. Okay, yeah. that' That's where I was going. I'm just kidding. It reminds me of the one time that Bill Cosby said, yeah shut your eyes, let it happen. Yeah, I remember that Bill Cosby concert that where he played his show. We all fell asleep. It was weird. man ah thousand people just the mom's though i don't get it anyway uh i would tell somebody that's aspiring to become a stand-up comic not that i have become one but my girlfriend would hate me for saying that but um i would say just be likable be likable it doesn't matter if your jokes are good or bad
02:00:32
Speaker
do something, do something other than should. Anybody could do. Anybody could say, oh, three baby seals walked into a club and one lived, you know, anybody could make that joke. Anybody can make a silly joke.
02:00:48
Speaker
Tell us about what you've experienced in your life. Tell us about what it was like raising your kids. Tell us about your pets. Tell us about your job. Tell us about things that have happened to you or make a weird comparison of things. make Just be likable about it though.
02:01:05
Speaker
Don't be wacky, okay? Be original and be likable. If you're not likable, get off the fucking stage. People don't wanna hate whoever's on stage. They came there to laugh.
02:01:16
Speaker
You know, so be original, be true to yourself, do something that you think is going to
Tips for Aspiring Comedians
02:01:21
Speaker
be good. And then if the crowd likes it, then you've done good. You've done well. And also be likable because if the crowd doesn't like what you did for yourself and they don't, they didn't like it so much, if you were still likable on stage, then they still had a good time and give the next guy a shot then, you know what i mean? and And just keep the show going. So that's what I would say with, with, if you're going to be ah if you want to do stand up and hit the open mic lot.
02:01:46
Speaker
and And get five minutes. Just keep five minutes. Once you get five minutes, do five minutes more. Don't do this five minutes over and over and over again. Okay. Nobody wants to fucking hear We're all there every fucking, you know?
02:01:59
Speaker
So that's it That's all I got. And, uh, rub uh don't rub sunscreen if you're at a nude beach don't don't get the rub on sunscreen because that looks gross you know get the spray kind because you know just spray it on don't fucking rub that shit in you weirdo jesus christ then oh well kevin um let good it Dude, I appreciate the shit out of you, man. Obviously, you know, I've always been in your corner. You know, like I said, you're one of my best friends. I consider you a brother.
02:02:34
Speaker
Thank you for coming on here and hanging out with me. I love you, man. full People can take it however they want it. Two grown men are allowed to express their love for each other. It's okay. It's 2026. Love is love. Great show.
02:02:47
Speaker
Thanks for having me. and and Thanks for watching, listening, stuff. and and Honestly, dude, I wish you the best of luck. Anything I can do to to to not ruin it, let me know.
02:02:58
Speaker
but i will I will be hitting you up eventually for some of your comedy friends to come on here. so Spread the word. Tell your friends to check it out. and if they you know Hit me up um well i would love to have more comics on i think this is going to be um right up there with my music show and and and uh it got a real quick and a huge response uh and in less than 24 hours i had guests lined up for two months nice bro but i was two weeks out from even starting the show and i had guests lined up for two months let's get some tampa comics up in in in ohio in the circles
02:03:35
Speaker
absolutely North Florida. that we've We've decided that Ohio and Florida are basically the same. so Holy shit. All right. but it's a sort another Best of luck to you.
02:03:49
Speaker
Keep doing your thing. Thank you for coming on. I'll let you drop down. I got to do my my spiel. All right, man. Love you, man. See you guys.
02:03:58
Speaker
Cheers. Cheers.
02:04:03
Speaker
The one in. Oh, God. I'm full screened. I didn't expect that. Kevin Holly, ladies and gentlemen. Check him out. Yes, he can be a bit offensive. Yes, he can be a loose cannon. But deep down, he's a genuine good guy. And he's pretty easy. I don't know if he can hear me still or not. but He's a pretty funny guy.
02:04:21
Speaker
But check him out. Show him some love. He is on the social medias. Kevin Holly. Kevin A. Holly or the Kevin Holly Show. We've got, oh, God. I've got to figure out my buttons here.
02:04:36
Speaker
Um, we got them socials, right? Yeah. Facebook. The links are in the chat. Just look up Kevin Holly on social media. He's not hard to find.
02:04:51
Speaker
And while you're looking him up and following him, if you're not already 14 hours, that's easy. Shane. Um,
02:05:03
Speaker
Give us a follow. Give us a like. Give us a share. Bio.link slash Nonsensable Network. All them links is there. Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok. We have shows damn near seven days a week right now on our YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch channel. You guys can join into the conversation, jump into the chatter's box, and you can also listen wherever you listen to podcasts at. We are on all the major and not-so-major podcasting platforms.
02:05:31
Speaker
Um... Yeah, or if you're watching the replay, drop a like, drop a comment. Free, easy way to support what we do. Get us in them algorithms. But yeah, I'll be back next week with a brand new comedian.
02:05:44
Speaker
Tune in tomorrow night. Wally is not doing Animal Planet or Cold-Blooded Conversations or whatever they do with the animals. He's actually doing a Thursday night Speedway Stories with... ah J.R. Rouse from ah Full Throttle Monster Trucks.
02:06:05
Speaker
So that should be pretty fucking badass. I do love me some monster trucks, and I know a little bit about monster trucks. I might not know much about the motorsports world or cars or anything like that, but I do know a little bit about a little bit when it comes to monster trucks, so I'm excited about this one.
02:06:20
Speaker
So tune in tomorrow night for that. Friday, I don't know that there's anything. I may not be. I'm assuming not. um Then, of course, Saturday, Cash's Corner.
02:06:33
Speaker
Hopefully, we'll be back doing our thing, talking wrestling, Cash and I. And then Saturday night, Nonsensical Nonsense with the Open Door Challenge. The panel's there for you guys to come hang out with us.
02:06:44
Speaker
And then Sunday, Unnecessary Roughness with where Rick and myself, talking all things sports. And then there will be no beyond Beyond the Veil this week because we'll be working on next week's show.
02:07:00
Speaker
Which I still have to come up with a topic for. And I think I have one. I got to run it by the boss lady and see what she says.
02:07:08
Speaker
la Feel free to. Wally, feel free to. I haven't heard anything and I don't know anything. So feel free to. I'll let you know. I'll let you know if I hear otherwise. Well, yeah. With that being said, again, shout out to Kevin Holley.
02:07:21
Speaker
Hopefully you guys are enjoying the new shows so far. Hopefully you guys are enjoying all the shows.
02:07:28
Speaker
I got nothing else to say. but but Share a little laughter, man. Find whatever makes you happy. ah Hopefully you guys enjoy comedy. And hopefully you guys will enjoy my guests. So, yeah.
02:07:41
Speaker
Just smile. Laugh. Have a good night. Appreciate y'all being here. Be good. but Be good at it, baby.
02:07:50
Speaker
Oh, I got got my man Austin Lindstrom with Ballad of a Workman closing it out tonight.
02:08:03
Speaker
Try to pick the dirt from my fingernails. Thought mama taught me better, but she really didn't this time. Oh, this is a ballad of working man's load.
02:08:16
Speaker
Maybe I'll get her retired when I'm 85. Maybe my heart will give out and lead me to die. Oh, this is a ballad of a working man's load.
02:08:30
Speaker
Oh.
02:08:33
Speaker
It's broken bodies and bones instead gold. Through the working pain, mainstream media lie. We'd be the one to lay down on the wire. We built the roads and grow the grain for your whiskey.
02:08:46
Speaker
Tamper with them and it might be a little risky.
02:08:57
Speaker
Oh, this is ballot of a working man's.
02:09:18
Speaker
hope your ratings are up. Driving Mercedes, well, I'll drive a truck. Ever worked in a blizzard? Calloused hands, but eating blister.
02:09:31
Speaker
I've got the notion of yourself right, your slogan. The hardworking women and men will have you choking. Oh,
02:09:41
Speaker
this is a ballot of a working man's load.
02:09:54
Speaker
This is a ballad of working man's
02:10:35
Speaker
Strong men, strong men, turn it good, then everybody's weak. Hard times make strong men, strong men, turn it good, then everybody's weak.
02:10:45
Speaker
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
02:10:56
Speaker
It's broken bodies and bones instead of gold Through the work and pain mainstream media life We'll be the one to lay down on the wire We build the world and grow the grain for your whiskey Can't run with him any might be a little