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Timelines 101: When Wedding Days Stay on Track (and When They Don’t) | Episode 2
29 Plays4 months ago
In Episode 2, Jaden and Allie tackle one of the most searched wedding topics of all time: the wedding day timeline—and why it’s way more than “ceremony at 4, dinner at 6.” They break down what couples get wrong when building timelines (especially missing buffer time), why “just put an earlier start time so guests show up” is a terrible idea, and how one timeline change can domino into dinner service, bar timing, photo schedules, and guest experience.
They also get into the real-world decisions planners make; how long ceremonies actually run, when to schedule cocktail hour (and when you need food), the truth about 3–5 hours of open dancing, and why hair and makeup start times can get brutal with a big wedding party. Along the way, they share practical tips like accounting for bustles, sunset timing, load-in/load-out logistics, and having a Plan B for weather—because they’ve seen it all: late vendors, road closures, and wind that destroys an entire tablescape.
The takeaway is clear: timelines aren’t just a schedule—they’re the backbone of a smooth wedding day. And if you’re building your own, these two are giving you the exact mindset (and mistakes to avoid) that planners use to keep weddings calm, coordinated, and actually enjoyable.
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Transcript
Introduction and Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Planning a wedding comes with timelines, trends, expectations, and a whole lot that couples never see coming. We're two wedding planners pulling back the curtain on what really happens behind i do. Each week on Behind I Do, we bring you real talk about real weddings, timelines, trends, the wins, and the what-ifs.
00:00:16
Speaker
From the smooth as silk celebrations to the did-that-actually-just-happen moments, we're sharing the stories, lessons, and insider knowledge that help couples plan with confidence and maybe even laugh along the way.
00:00:27
Speaker
Whether you're a bridegroom vendor or wedding lover at heart, this is your backstage pass to the world of weddings. Told candidly, graciously, and with the expertise only seasoned planners can offer. Grab your coffee, your planting binder, and your confetti and join us behind I do.
00:00:43
Speaker
So, too.
Importance of Wedding Timelines
00:00:44
Speaker
Timelines 101, when wedding days stay on track and when they don't. Today, we're talking all about timelines. This is one of the most Googled wedding topics.
00:00:54
Speaker
And it's definitely one of our favorite things to do for our wedding clients is to create a beautiful multi-page. Five page. extremely detailed wedding timeline. At the end of the day, we always say that if there was a catastrophe and we couldn't make it to your wedding, anyone who's never even been to a wedding before could execute your day perfectly.
00:01:18
Speaker
It's so filled with knowledge. So we have it all in there. Yes. Here we go. Here we go. right. I mean, the first thing I think we should talk about is mistakes that a couple lot of times make. I mean, first of all, someone just Writing their timeline without knowing what they're doing is, I think, a big mistake. But I'll say another mistake is a chat GPT timeline.
00:01:42
Speaker
They as helpful as chat GPT is, it definitely doesn't understand buffer times and all the nuances of weddings. Well, not like some people, this is a little off topic, but like speaking of chat GPT, just like where they're like, you know, chat GPT can write it all. I don't need a planner. And it's just like you chat GPT is going to be there on the day of your wedding to actually execute it. And then it's like if chat GPT wrote it and then you just hand it to somebody, it's like you can't. There's no way that it could be 100 percent like understandable.
00:02:14
Speaker
Totally. Or like executable. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, I don't know. That just seems wild to me. Our first mistake that we see when someone comes to us, usually our couples will have kind of a rough timeline in
Common Timeline Mistakes and Solutions
00:02:28
Speaker
mind. And they think that we can start a ceremony at this time and we'll be ready for dinner at this time. And the first issue we usually run into where we give them a little bit of advice is that they don't have enough buffer time. um Depending on the first thing that's going to happen, well, your wedding timeline starts as soon as the venue opens or as soon as hair and makeup starts that morning. so
00:02:51
Speaker
We have a full day that we live before your guests start to see when your timeline starts. But the main wedding timeline that people think about is when their ceremony is going to start and then going into dinner, dancing and all that. When has open dancing started? When do we dance? So I feel like that's the first issue is that people don't maybe communicate with, say, their officiant. This is the first problem we always see is like the ceremony is either way longer or way shorter than they expected. And it on either end, it's an issue because if your ceremony is too long, then it cuts into typically your photo time and then what time cocktails are and dinner. And if it's too short, then your serving staff isn't going to be prepared to have the bar open and to have appetizers being passed. Right. So that's something we always that's our first issue is buffer time. So how are you going to be able to communicate? communicate away Yeah. And get all your vendors like back on track when the timeline changes. And even to like if the ceremony starts late, like which is very common, not usually with us. I will say knock on wood. But I mean, that is the thing that can happen. So that's going to push things back. And like who's communicating with caterer, with the bar stuff, like, you know, things like that. It's like you have to be prepared for
00:04:12
Speaker
All of those things. Because it all changes throughout the day so much. So, yeah, we have problems with that. Not enough time. And also just with that, something I will say that drives me crazy is like when couples are like, well, we're going to do ceremony at 430, but I'm going to put four on the timeline so that guests get there on time. please don't do that because the problem with that is you always have guests who arrive early. So if you say that it's four o'clock on your um invitation, someone's going to show up at three 30 or three 45, but the ceremony doesn't actually start till four 30. So it's just like,
00:04:47
Speaker
so then you're gonna have guests who've been sitting there for an hour even sometimes waiting so it's just and like we just said like typically ceremonies you know start 10 15 minutes behind so it's just like just put the time of the ceremony and again if you have like a professional planner there like we're watching the parking lot we're like when majority of the guests are there like we start and if anybody comes late we pause them and like just make sure that everyone you know the bride gets down the aisle and then let them go sit so it's like just put the actual ceremony time on your invites because you're just going to cause yourself more headache yeah it leads to a poor guest experience when yeah someone thinks that it's going to start at four it doesn't start till 4 30 it just puts they're just gonna agitated yeah start yeah for your day agree that's very important
00:05:35
Speaker
So, yeah, I mean, those are big things to think about, um you know, and just like with the buffer times, too, is like a lot of our couples. Or like having too much time for something like, I mean, Ali and I were talking earlier, it's like a lot of couples like want there to be like three, four, five hours of open dancing. And like like I said in episode one, I love to dance. I get it. I mean, I swear we dance for three hours at my wedding. Did we really? I don't know. I couldn't tell you. But.
00:06:02
Speaker
Like realistically, like not all your guests will want to dance that long. Or like you, like Allie said, you started hair makeup at 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. might sound early, but like in the grand scheme of things, that's a long day. A long day that everyone's been staring at you. The pressure, the excitement. It's like there's a lot of emotions going on. So by the time 10 p.m. hits, like you're going to be tired.
00:06:23
Speaker
Yeah. So like being realistic with like how much open dancing there needs to be is like, you know, just a conversation you kind of need to like think about. Totally. And thinking through, well your wedding day is for you and about you. We really like to think about the guest experience because as all of you have probably attended a wedding that there was parts that you didn't enjoy. And so it's important to think through
Starting the Wedding Day Right
00:06:46
Speaker
that. And if you have say a dancing crowd that you know will stay late but also half of your wedding isn't going to it's a great opportunity to move to like a second location we have a lot of couples that will end at 10 but then they have a designated party bus going to the bars and that gives your guests like the opportunity to choose
00:07:06
Speaker
Their experience. Whether they want to go home. and Go to bed. Or like stay out. And even the couple at that point. Who thinks they're going to want to party all night. But then that chance to sneak away. If they were like. You know what? Never mind. We're going to go to the hotel. yeah This has been a really long day. Yeah. It takes everyone by surprise. And it truly is like.
00:07:25
Speaker
the fastest day of your life and it goes by in the blink of an eye so it's crazy it also sometimes feels like a really long day because it is so many hours that you've been up and the anticipation and you haven't slept well for the week so it nerves it leads up to like a really big day so we always try to think about that when we plan our timeline it's like what is the latest start time for hair and makeup to make it so you can actually sleep in in the morning or grab a coffee with your bridal party or do something kind of fun Because a lot of people don't want to be starting hair makeup at five. we've seen Which that's another thing why you shouldn't, which shouldn't I shouldn't say shouldn't, but when you the more people you have in your wedding party, the earlier hair makeup has to start. Yes. I mean, like something to think about. Yeah, I mean, if you have 10 bridesmaids, hair and makeup is going to have to start at like...
00:08:13
Speaker
5 a.m. Yeah. Because there's just like i mean it takes you know 45 minutes per service so it's like it's that's another big thing you know with timeline mistakes is people don't think about that like think about how long hair and makeup actually takes.
00:08:26
Speaker
And totally and if it runs over like are you going to move photos another thing here I think is a good thing to really talk to your soon-to-be spouse about is doing things like first look or family photos before a ceremony and also understanding that anything that is happening before the ceremony is going to take time
Photo and Ceremony Timing Considerations
00:08:45
Speaker
away from your morning. So yeah if you do a first look, if you do family photos before it, it gains you time after your ceremony. So you can actually be with your guests, but it also is going to take away from your morning and you're going be ready. Sometimes if you have a first look, you have to be ready by one for a four o'clock ceremony start time. So yeah,
00:09:03
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it's like, I mean, unfortunately, it's like a catch 22. Because yeah, it's either if you do first look in photos before it's you know, like Ali said, like it gives you like you could probably join cocktail hour because you're not doing so many photos after the ceremony. But yeah, it is going to push up everything when you have to be ready. Because yeah, like you have to get photos of you getting in the dress and you if like first looks at a different location, like, I mean, there's so much thing, up which I don't know, I personally think it's better to squish it in before.
00:09:32
Speaker
Then after, I mean, i don't know. That's just my personal preference. Cause then after it's like you, you know, you're married and you get to just like enjoy and like not be taking so much time taking photos. But like Allie said, that's like a conversation you have to have with your spouse of like what's important and where do you kind of unfortunately want to lose time. Totally.
00:09:49
Speaker
Like, yeah. And it depends. Another thing we like to think about in all of our timelines is going to be sunrise and sunset. Most importantly, sunset time, because a lot of people like to dance after dark. And depending on like what climate you're in, we don't have sunsets till 10 p.m. Also, there's sunset photos to be taken. Unless it's in the winter, then it's like Yes, then it's five o'clock. So it really depends, too. We like to think about whether we live in Idaho. So we definitely get all four seasons. So if you have a 4 p.m. start time versus a 5 p.m. start time, the sun could look totally different. So if you're in a place that maybe would get shade at five, that could be a great consideration. Maybe we shouldn't start the ceremony till five because. We can keep guessing the shade longer and then we can go until 11 or do we want to kind of walk through like our favorite timeline, like ceremony start times?
00:10:39
Speaker
i mean, yeah, I mean, we could just like our basic. I mean, we always tell couples like timeline or ceremony is usually four, four 30. Like that's a pretty common, like it just seems to flow the best.
00:10:51
Speaker
Because, I mean, it's hard to, though, if it's like a Friday wedding. I mean, that's something you might want to consider not doing because of traffic or if you have a lot of, in like, I don't know. Like if people have to do work work or if they're driving in traffic, like that's something to also, I guess, consider. But typically. Saturday. Saturday wedding, 4 p.m., 4.30
Reception and Evening Schedule
00:11:10
Speaker
p.m. ceremony. We usually buffer 30 minutes for the ceremony. So then it's like, say ceremony is at 4.30.
00:11:17
Speaker
Cocktail hour starts at 5. And then you at least have an hour for cocktail hour. We don't recommend doing more unless you're going to have food. So if you have appetizers, like, and you need, like, say you didn't do a first look and you need more time for photos or something. Yeah. Like say you need an hour and a half, like that's fine, but you need to make sure you have appetizers for your guests because they will be starving. They will be starving. And you will be too. Yeah. Bring you food. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I mean, let's say, you know, we, we just went with the typical, so it's,
00:11:46
Speaker
five to six is cocktail hour guests are starting to sit we would do grand entrance 6 15 again that's just buffer time because it's going to take your guests a while to move from ceremony to sit stop talking listen to directions all the find their seats especially if it's assigned seating like you kind of need to give 15 20 minute buffer time for people to sit so then like you know grand entrance is 6 20 you guys come in to go straight to your seats and then dinner would probably be like 6 30 is when we would start releasing tables or when if it's plated dinner would start coming out yep so i mean that at least gets you to dinner And then dinner, it's just. It's really dependent on your head count and style of is it plated.
00:12:30
Speaker
Plated usually takes a little bit longer. trucks. Yeah. We have food trucks. We have buffet. Always an hour for dinner. I would never do less than that. But I think an hour up to two hours i mean depending on how many courses it is like it really depends on that yeah and that's kind of yeah open from there 7 30 to 8 at some point between they're going to go into a typical flow that we like to see is toast dancing cake cutting yeah toas dance our dancing yeah yeah So that's kind of how we. And we like to do the toast. I mean, like Ali was saying, I mean, typically it's like, you know, towards the end of dinner, like once every, like once the last table receives their food, we like to start toast because it's like then everyone's still seated. They're listening.
00:13:18
Speaker
They're eating. There's not a lot of talking going on. Yeah. And it just seems to be, because then also things you have to think about, like we've had couples that are like, you know, we do like toast and then straight into cake cutting and straight into formal dances. And they're like, it just feels rushed. And it's like,
00:13:32
Speaker
It might sound like it's being rushed, but in the moment it's not. And again, back to the guest experience, like your guests, not to be rude, but want to get on with it. Like they don't want things drawn out because if like you're doing toast and then there's like a long pause of like, twirling. 20 minutes of nothing happening. The guests that got food first or kind of who are done now are like, what am I supposed to do? So it's just a nice transition to be able to get the toast done, go straight into cutting your cake, do your formal dances, and then it's open dancing. And it's like it just, it gets all the important things done and then allows your guests to just have fun.
00:14:06
Speaker
Totally. Yeah. And then, I mean, send offs are most venues around here have to be music has to be off by 10. So a lot of our send offs like around like 945. Some will do it right at 10, but it just kind of depends on the venue.
00:14:19
Speaker
Yeah. And then out by 11. Yeah. Which send-offs take a little longer than you think. Yeah. We love a private last dance. That's like a trend that kind of came in like two years ago probably. Yeah. I hope it stays forever because it's a really sweet way to like end your wedding day. Private moment while we're wrangling your...
00:14:36
Speaker
All your cats outside trying to get that one with the sparklers and not lighting them not lighting each other on fire. then we go into that and then, yeah, we want to send you off. And then we like to allow at least an hour for cleanup crew at the end of the day. So it's important to build that in. Some venues are very strict on like a out time. So I know like our city venues are very strict and if you're not out, there's a fine. So making sure that you know the ins and outs of your venue, um,
00:15:04
Speaker
Which, again, is why it's nice to have a professional. Because the thing when you have a team, again, like I said, we're not drinking. And it's like we know where everything came, like what box it all came out of. So it's like we put it all back in the box. set up. We it back. Yeah, it's just
Logistics and Vendor Coordination
00:15:17
Speaker
so much smoother. And we have such a system that it's like, I mean, an hour teardown is easy.
00:15:22
Speaker
Totally. And I think, too, back to the 4 or 4.30 start time, this really gives your setup team time because most venues you aren't able to access until 10 a.m. Yeah. So if you have a 2 p.m.
00:15:35
Speaker
ceremony start time. And you have a really extensive setup. It doesn't work. I mean, it it would be tough. It but it's not ideal, and it really puts too much into those first four hours of the day. and it I mean, and again, it's like there's no like hair and makeup for all those things. It's just like if your ceremony is before four, it's just. You're going to have to change locations because you'll have to start makeup at a hotel or an Airbnb and then move.
00:16:01
Speaker
It's just a lot um lot more moving pieces than it needs to So great that's like our ideal. and that would be our best. advice for a perfect wedding timeline agreed yeah I mean another speaking of other mistakes too I mean that people don't think about again that aren't the fun parts of it is like again like the like kind of what were just saying like the loading load out like if you have a wedding that you have multiple vendors you know like one vendor is bringing the tables and chairs and another vendor is bringing i don't know linens so and then the DJ and like everyone is like has different you got a lounge set up like logistically you have to think about it's like okay well you know we don't have access to the venue till 10 we need tables and chairs set up by this time and just like logistically thinking about like and I think that's something that is a mistake that people don't think about they just are like I don't know the vendors will figure it out and it's like well yeah but then they all show up at 10 o'clock and then they're pissed because like
00:16:55
Speaker
the one the florist got their first no against a florist you know and they're unloading and it's like that's not like a time sensitive thing and it's like so it's just like thinking logistically like okay we need tables and chairs to arrive first so those can get unloaded and then linens and then flowers and then the dj whatever so i mean and same with like you know load out especially if you only have an hour to load out like logistically you have to be like You know, sometimes we have some vendors showing up at like, you know, 10 or even 930 that we like, you know, like the plates and stuff that we could we don't need that we can be handing them to them early or whatever. So. totally
00:17:30
Speaker
And another thing, too, with like really intricate designed weddings would be like drapery lighting and like. ceiling installs like making sure those happen first because all of that say they like drop a drape or like the flowers are dripping right and then they drip on your linens now we have to get new linens yeah and so like thinking of like top down too like who has to go who has to go first When we, not all venues, but to like some, the Grove or hotel venues for us have loading docks. If we're in a downtown location. And those are like really strict rules because you maybe only have one or two loading docks and only one car can like fit in there at a time and can use a service elevator. So those are like, those are when it gets really intricate and you have to make sure that you have a perfectly executed vendor load in and out.
00:18:17
Speaker
For sure. Because they can't all be there at once. Yeah. I agree. That's what makes it tricky. So, I mean, those are, i feel like we talked a lot about different mistakes. I feel like we could go on for hours about this. We love timelines. if you I mean, it's just, yeah, timelines we could talk forever. And I think it's just something too that again, i mean, not to like,
00:18:37
Speaker
beat a dead horse but it's just like it's there's so much more that goes into it it's not just like even if like you googled it or pinterested it like yes it's going to give you like a basic outline but like i wish i could just visually show you like one that's like there's so much detail there's so much things that go into it like ali said that it's like i could hand my timeline to my sister who's not a planner And like she would be able to read verbatim like everything that's supposed to be happening and like when it's supposed to be happening and who's doing it. Who's in charge of it.
00:19:07
Speaker
All the things.
Role of Professional Planners
00:19:08
Speaker
So it's just like that's the thing where it's like some people are like, yeah, I'll just go to Pinterest and get a timeline. It's like, sure, you're going to get a basic timeline. It'll help you. Yeah, it'll help you. It's a great starting point. But it's just like we said, there's just so much that goes into it.
00:19:21
Speaker
That it's like, I don't think people realize, like, how much we, like, I mean, how many hours we spend on these things. Totally. And I think something that we hear a lot when we also talk to, we always ask, why why are you hiring a planner? And people say, like, I can tell the difference whether I'm at a wedding that has a planner or if I'm in a wedding that has a planner or not. Because it truly has a different feel to the wedding day. And flow. Yeah.
00:19:48
Speaker
very relaxed it's very under control don't know i've heard some planners that are pretty but for the guest experience at least it's like very yeah it's just a a very smooth day and you can tell that it was professionally done and that's kind of our biggest thing um when people are like my aunt could do it or right and it's like yeah she could but i think too like yeah to that point the aunt thing it's like there's too much emotion with your, like your aunt is too emotionally attached. Like not that we don't care and we're not emotionally attached to our couples. Like a lot of our planning couples like become our good friends. Like we want to be their friends, but there's just not that emotional piece. It's more of like a business piece of like, no, this is what the bride wanted. this is what we're going to do. Like, even if we don't a hundred percent like agree with it or we're like, not even agree with it, but like
00:20:36
Speaker
say like the color choices and we're like oh okay but it's like it's whatever you want like we're doing what you have asked versus like you know the day of it's like if I was your aunt I'd be like well you know she really wanted this but what I think would be better is this so it's like I just don't think I mean i' mean if I was a bride again I'd be pissed if my aunt was in church right and it takes It's kind of like an unbiased third party. i think that's something that we also notice is we do kind of play like a mediator a lot in between vendors and also in between family members, because at the end of the day, like we always say we work for our couples and like ultimately that's who is our client yeah And so if they wanted something done a certain way, we get to be the ones that say like, sorry, this is what Sarah wanted and this is how we're going to proceed. Right. And I think when you ask a family friend or ah family member to do it, it puts them in a really awkward position. Or even and and like a newer planner or someone who like isn't confident, doesn't have that confidence. Yeah. Totally. really
00:21:40
Speaker
Yeah. mean, yeah. Because we get confronted all the time by like moms. Sorry, moms. Yeah. Or, I mean, even aunts sometimes who were like, no, I want it done this way. And it's like, well, it's, a sorry. It's like, you know, like you said, Sarah, this is how Sarah wanted it. And it like, Ali's saying in a way, it's like, not that I don't want to hurt people's feelings, but I don't really care.
00:22:00
Speaker
yeah what the mother wants if it's not what the bride wants it's like at the end of the day it's like this is what we were like told to do and this is what we're doing and it's I think that's what's nice for the couple is it's like it's not them having to like tell them no it's us telling them no and it's like I mean it's fine Yeah. And we'll have brides come to us and say explicitly, like, if my mom asks you to use this wedding cake topper, like, please tell her no yeah and let her know that this is the one that we're using. And we get to deal with those conversations on your wedding day and smooth things out. And I think it's just taken better
00:22:34
Speaker
from either side yeah coming from us than it ever would be coming from you so it's a really nice like scapegoat and we're happy to you can blame us for anything totally i mean i agree but like i said too i mean back to like the when i made the comment about the some planners which i just you know i hear horror stories of like i've also people we talked to where it's like there was a planner but she was like screaming and it's like on that note of like we are not afraid to like stand up and be like no we're not doing that like this is what we're doing like we have backbones for sure but also there's that line of like we are professional it's like I don't think I've ever screamed have I wanted to probably many times we haven't but I think that's just the thing too like when you're thinking about also hiring a planner it's like which this could again be in a whole other podcast but just like when you're hiring your planner it's like I always tell people you should interview like three planners at least and like like their personality
00:23:30
Speaker
And it also helps too if you know people who have worked with them because I just think that is a big thing and like reputation and like how they carry themselves and how they talk to people. And it's like we are really big on like being professional. And obviously there is a line sometimes where we have been talked to very disrespectfully and like I will match them. I will be like you're not going to talk to me like that. So I think there is a line but just something with that. It's like I think there is also a line of how some planners choose to act and I don't.
00:23:59
Speaker
but Yeah. but Well, and I think, too, it is it's a stressful day. Yeah. Period. It's stressful for everyone involved. And it's like it's high stakes. It's your hopefully your one and only wedding day. And think a lot of stuff on the timeline you can't redo. Yeah. If it doesn't happen that day, like it doesn't happen. So we take that very seriously. And I think that it's good to talk to people who have worked with your planner before, because the way that I am day to day is not the way that I run myself on a wedding day, like match for match. So like we said, Allie is not a type, not a type, but you get me on a wedding day and like everything will go to plan because it's really important to us. And so I think it's nice to really get to know your planner because you do spend a lot of time with them and they really do work together with all your vendors, but they kind of control the tone of the day and like set the expectation for vendor communication and for all of that. So yeah. Make sure you find someone. Everyone's going to be stressed. Exactly. And it just leads to yeah such a different feel of your wedding day. So if you want to have ah really executed type a planned wedding and that's how you want to feel on your wedding day, like that's great. Like something like Jane's great for you. I have definitely more relaxed like brides that want, I think that like come to me because of that. So I think it's just really good to know who you're working with.
Flexibility and Problem Solving
00:25:24
Speaker
Agreed.
00:25:25
Speaker
For sure. All right. I mean, we've kind of talked a little bit about flow, but just kind of, I mean, i feel like we're already on our soapbox of like wedding planners and why you need one, but like just kind of why planners help keep the day flowing.
00:25:40
Speaker
And I mean, I think we've talked a little bit about it but I mean, I think the biggest thing is like we said, like being able to create a very well-written timeline is like the basis of that. Totally. And then also, I mean, we always joke and say we're like the timeline keepers. And it's like, we're the ones who are like making sure things are happening when they're supposed to. Or like we said, thinking two steps ahead and be like, oh my gosh, okay, the ceremony is starting 10 minutes late, but then it actually ended five minutes early. So now we're, you know, moving things, communicating with your caterers, like being like, okay, actually we need, dinner's gonna start 15 minutes early. Are you guys ready? And if it's not, like what can we do to kind of prolong things or whatever? Yeah, fill in that buffer time yeah and keep a good guest experience. For sure.
00:26:22
Speaker
and And like we always tell our couples too, it's like our goal is at the day of your wedding, you shouldn't even have to worry about what time it is. Like it doesn't even matter. Like yeah we know what time it is. We will tell you, hey we're going to get ready for toast.
00:26:34
Speaker
Do you need anything to drink? Do you need to go the bathroom? Like that kind of stuff. It's like that is our job is to like you. Nobody has to worry about anything. Totally. And we love to tell our couples like timelines are a rough draft of how the day is going to go. And we're not like committed to the 30 minutes that you got for this. Right. If it doesn't you know if something goes over or less like we are super flexible on our timelines. And we always say like we're the only ones like between the vendors and the couple that knew what your timeline looked like. Right. So if we need to change something, we always can. Yeah. Like we can. Or cut something out. Like we've had couples like, know what? I don't want to do that anymore. And it's like, great. No one will ever know because yeah they didn't know in the first time. Yeah. So I think that's important like to remember too. And yeah, to not try to keep track of your own timeline on your wedding day. We had the sweetest like room this year and it's like, it's okay. Like your wedding is
00:27:29
Speaker
our schedule yeah and you just get to enjoy the day like kept that one and he kept meeting me at the back door by the caterer and was like and what time is it and what are we doing next and i'm like i need you to go enjoy yes like that is not your job on the day of your wedding and we want to make sure that you know that and that you feel like so comfortable to not to just lose track of time yeah well and be present because like ali said the day goes by seriously so fast And so it's like you just want to be present for as much as you can because it's going to be over. Yeah.
00:28:01
Speaker
And you're going to get it back. Yep. Yep. Exactly. So, yeah, I mean, those are big things that why I think a planner like helps just keep it flowing. And I just think, again, that communication piece with like all your vendors, because i think that's a hard part. If you don't have a planner or one who is very well experienced, it's like they're not thinking two steps ahead. They're not able to like.
00:28:22
Speaker
do one thing and then also be like telling the DJ another. I mean, I remember one time my husband assists sometimes and he, he's like, it's just so fun to watch you. Cause it's like, you're like fixing a table, but then a guest is also talking to you, but then you're like doing something else. It's like, he's like, you're always like, just, but you always just look calm and you're just like doing multiple things. And it's like, I think that's like,
00:28:43
Speaker
the thing with that comes with experience is that you can, like, be calm and be like, we're all okay, and, like, nobody needs to panic, and yes, I will fix that for you, and, like, it doesn't matter that we're 15 minutes behind schedule because we'll make it up, like, things like that. I mean, i think help for sure.
00:28:59
Speaker
Gives you that piece And like I said, I just truly think there is something with experience, like, with it. Not, I mean, we all have to start somewhere. Like, I started eight years ago, and I wasn't, I mean, I still feel like i was pretty good, but...
00:29:12
Speaker
Your timelines weren't as good as that. Yeah, no. That's true. But it's like we all, like, yeah, every year we've learned and grown and it's, like, gotten to where we are. But it's just, like, there is something with that experience of, like, that allows us to be so calm. Like, yes, I am a very A-type planner, but it's, like, I've been told by multiple people that are like, you're the calmest planner I've ever met. And it's like, that's our goal. Yeah. And speaks volumes to how prepared we are for the day, which is directly related to how well you wrote your timeline. Right. Exactly. So it's like, and we've had, which is kind of next, like the what ifs of like, we've had so many what ifs happen and it's still like, OK, we're fine. And this is what we're going to do. And, you know, maybe behind the scenes a little in our head or when we're a little panicky. Yeah. But, you know, that's like but I think, again, that's what comes with experience. And again, if you have Aunt Julie or, you know, a friend doing it nothing against them, but it's like they don't have experience that allows them to be calm.
00:30:05
Speaker
Totally. And they haven't faced it And yeah that's what we always say. that Every wedding we learn something new. And we do such a nice job communicating with each other like what we learned. And then like we'll always text each other like, oh my gosh, add to bustle the dress like at this time in the timeline. Because there's been times where we needed more 15 minutes to bustle the dress and we didn't have it or something like that. So I feel like that's something. Which that's a great thing that we should talk about with timelines too that everyone should know is like when you're bustling your dress.
00:30:34
Speaker
Always. Not to, like, go off on another tangent, but, like, wait your time money yeah it always gets forgotten. And a lot of brides do it, like, after formal dances, like, once open dancing starts, unless you're changing outfits.
00:30:46
Speaker
But, like, or if you need it up for your first dance, like, really thinking about that, making sure there's, I mean, like Allie said, at least 15, 20 minutes because... Even if it's a simple bustle. Still you go upstairs or wherever you're changing room. Yeah, then have to to the going to touch your makeup on. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. So please allocate 20 minutes at least for that. That's my tangent. These are the things that come up. And when they come up to the first time, that's when you get little panicky. But we add them in. And that's the best thing about working with people who have done
Handling Unexpected Events
00:31:20
Speaker
hundreds of weddings. Because every time we learn something. We're like, yeah, I've been there. And we've been there. We've done that. It's always kind of exciting. I will just say when there's something new that you're like, oh, that was different. And I tackled this. Add this to our toolbox. Yeah. But we've like vendors be late. This usually happens.
00:31:36
Speaker
The worst case scenario is going to be at an out of town wedding. So McCall, Stanley, Sun Valley, somewhere that's a little bit harder to get to. And they're an out of town vendor, which we often bring vendors from Boise to those places. right So like the bar staff has been late to a wedding and these are things that happen that we really try to allow for room. We've had, ah like she said, a DJ. There was a huge forest fire that shut down basically all the highways one summer here. And he he went one way when we were all supposed to go the other way up. Which, like, you know, he's one of our great friends. And things happen. Like, it's not a big deal. But because we were there, it was like we, which I'm not saying I can be a DJ at all. but ah We don't want to
00:32:21
Speaker
No. But we were able to, because I had my phone and I downloaded the songs for the ceremony, I was able to be the DJ for the ceremony. So it was like, nobody panicked. Like, the venue still have music had a speaker. I played the songs. I stood in a little, in this tree and was telling them when to go, pushing the next song. I mean, was it ideal? No. But, like,
00:32:39
Speaker
But we had a plan for it, and we now... And he luckily made it for the reception, so I did not have to be the DJ. We did not have to do it later. so Because I don't know truly what... I mean, we'd have to do our worst-case scenario with Spotify playlists.
00:32:52
Speaker
We would rock it. Please don't do that. It would work. It would work. We've had... um Elements are probably like our most challenging. We're going to say winds are least favorite. We can handle rain pretty well. But wind is going to take out all of your prettiness, your decor. It's going to take out your plates, flowers, flowers tents. Well, plates if they're plastic. Even glass. We lost glass. I mean, I guess that's true. few summers ago in McCall, just a huge storm came across the lake and took everything on the whole table, linens and everything included. So those are like things that you also just want to have, a a backup plan for and B, like a really good first plan. Like if you're doing an outdoor ceremony, don't have plastic.
00:33:35
Speaker
That's our reception. Yeah. Like if you're doing outdoor, a full outdoor wedding, you need to have real plastic. Or everything needs to be at the buffet. like Totally. Like it should not be on the table because it's not going to stay. It's not going to stay. and we I mean, unless you live somewhere with a very calm climate, but we live in Idaho and I mean, it could be 85 and then snowing. Like it's just, I mean, you never know. You just don't know.
00:33:57
Speaker
So those are all things we want to plan for. They're not like ifs or whens. 100%. So there's always going to be something that comes up on your wedding day that has to be. Adjusted. Emergency adjusted. For sure. those are just all things we want to have in our timeline for like a plan B or if X happens, we will do Y. Yeah. We just need some sort of.
00:34:18
Speaker
like saying Like a big thing is always ceremony usually. Because most the time here, i mean we have some venues that are all outdoor, but some it's like ceremonies outside but receptions inside so we don't really have to worry about reception. But yeah, like what, like on your ceremony for the timeline there should be a plan B.
00:34:35
Speaker
is what. Yeah. And we live in Idaho in June. It should be beautiful in July. it should be beautiful. And we've had rain every month. So as much as you want to bank on your day being perfect and you can hope and pray. And I think that's another big thing with coming with a planner. It's just like,
00:34:53
Speaker
If it's a good planner, they're going to have a plan B. They're going to talk to you about a plan B. If they don't, I wouldn't hire them. Because it's just like, like Allie said, it's not if or what ifs or it's something will happen.
00:35:06
Speaker
Yes. Like every single, even, you know, it might be small. Totally. But like, yeah. I mean, there should be a plan B if your ceremony is outside for sure. But, yeah, I mean, you know, there's other things that can affect the timeline, too. Like, you know, transportation is late. Like, we've had a lot of venues where it's a little bit out of town. so everyone's staying, like, downtown. And there's transportation taking everyone to the venue. And it's like, you know, that could be 20 minutes late. like If there's a crash on the freeway and that's the only way to get there. Traffic's really bad because it's a Friday wedding. And it's like, you know, so, I mean, just things that we have to, like, accommodate and think through or, you know.
00:35:43
Speaker
plan and make sure you have a good chain of like communication too between every vendor and your planner because and making sure that they which not all vendors even listen either even with this is like who is the day of contact like having your planner's number this is a person you call but I mean like I said I still have had vendors like the day called the bride and it just like aggravates me but it's like don't do that vendor yeah please don't but like that is like if there's an issue or something come up it's like call the planner call the person in charge so that it's like we can try to diffuse it before talking to the couple like that's always our goal is like we can diffuse it or even yeah not even tell them like it didn't even matter yeah most of our couples don't know the yeah emergencies that happened at their weddings and that's our goal it's so true So for building your own timeline, if you don't have a planner, these are like things that we think you should definitely consider. Yeah.
00:36:37
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, and just like if photos take longer or, you know, I mean, that's usually or hair, makeup takes longer. I mean, those are things that commonly happen. That you have to like account for.
00:36:49
Speaker
So. But our best tip of all is to hire a professional planner. Well of course. Obviously like you need someone who has done this. Who is calm and confident. And can execute everything that day. Regardless of what happens. If it snows on the 4th of July. Like you want someone who can.
00:37:06
Speaker
Make sure that everything gets done the way that you wanted. So as much as possible, it's like we tell a couple, sometimes there's just, I mean, like we had one where it's like, it was a June wedding and the ceremony was supposed to be outside. Reception was inside. We were like waiting as long as we could.
00:37:22
Speaker
And it's just like at some point, like we have to set the chairs. So it's just like we had to move the ceremony inside. And it's like luckily that venue had garage doors and there was like a lake view. So we still made it work and she still got the lake view and it was like fine. But it wasn't 100% what she wanted. But it was, you know. The best compromise we could come up with. The best option we could have, which, you know, is better than, you know, ever like nothing. So it's just things like that. It's like we always tell couples, like we do, we want to do what you want first and foremost. Right.
00:37:51
Speaker
But like we always say too, is like, you need to trust us that like at the end of the day, we're going to do what is in your best interest and like what's possible. So, so yeah. so yeah All right. I mean, I guess now just tips. If you're out there writing your own timeline, not hiring a planner, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk.
00:38:12
Speaker
um just Step one, build in more buffer time than you think. Yep. Give yourself plus or minus 30 minutes on everything that you think and know in your head that. Except ceremony start time. Yeah. Except ceremony start time. On your invite. but Put the actual time on your
Crafting Effective Timelines
00:38:28
Speaker
invite. Yeah. Give yourself the time to have things come up and not stress out about it. Yeah.
00:38:34
Speaker
Yeah. And like ah we said earlier, like being OK, that things aren might not happen exactly as the time that's listed on the timeline. Like it's not set in stone, like being flexible with it.
00:38:46
Speaker
I mean, obviously with in reason, but. Yeah. And just really talking through the timeline with your vendors obviously is a big one, getting their input and their approval. Like when we do timelines, we send it to every vendor two weeks out so that everyone has the exact same timeline. If they don't know us, we introduce ourselves. And then in, because unfortunately a lot of vendors don't read the timeline. So, and then we get questions like the day of, like, where am I setting up? Or what am I, so like, what time am I starting? And just from a planner, it's very frustrating, but.
00:39:19
Speaker
Side note. Side note. um But so because of that, like and we, you know, we'll email the DJ, attach the timeline, attach the layout. And then also like in the main part of the email, like full or bullet point, like this is what time we have you arriving. This is what time ceremony starts. This is what time toasts are like. Anything that have to do with the DJ, we make sure to like bullet point in the email. So he's like kind of getting it twice. Like if he's bringing a disco ball, like let's remind him. Like yeah this is what we had talked about. Is this still happening? Yeah.
00:39:51
Speaker
That's another big thing in our timeline. Not to give away all our nuggets, but every vendor that's there, we list under like their arrival, like everything that they're bringing. Even flowers, like down to like how many nears. The type, the color. Yeah. Like we have it all listed because it's like we just want to, I mean, A, make sure like we said, if we ever had to pass it to somebody,
00:40:11
Speaker
But, I mean, also for us, it's helpful because, you know, we're planning a lot of weddings at a time. So it's hard to keep track of, like, what's happening. So it's nice to be like, oh, yeah, this is what we're supposed to be having. This was a wedding that had flower crowns. Yeah, exactly. But it also keeps the vendors accountable.
00:40:29
Speaker
Like, this is what you said you were bringing. We give it to you two weeks ago. Like, you approved it. Like, you should have brought it kind of a thing. Yeah. And just yeah getting their input of like, you know what, actually, like at this venue, I like to get here three hours early instead of two, like whatever it is. Totally, because you're never, especially if it's your first time planning wedding, but also if you haven't worked with that vendor before, you're not going to know how much time a caterer needs to prep a charcuterie table. Right. Those are all questions that you really need to actually get input on. Right. And so we try not to assume anything. We just try to connect with our vendors and make sure that they feel like
00:41:04
Speaker
It's adequate time. Right. And that's like something I think we try to be very. Respectful. Respectful of them. Like I just like Ali said to like we are the planner and like, yes, we're in control. Like we are kind of in control, but I just I want all our vendors to feel like we're all equal. Like we are not like their boss. We are not telling them what to do. We're all on the same team. We're all on the same team. Our job is to work together execute exactly what the couple wanted.
00:41:30
Speaker
But I think then on the flip side of that, that's why it's nice to have a planner so that if a vendor isn't doing what they've agreed to, like you have a professional who's like holding them accountable.
00:41:40
Speaker
Like, no, this is what you're supposed to be doing. But yeah, like i I just like it to be very known, like hair and makeup. You know, they all like to do things a little differently. A DJ, like we like to be very respectful of like, this is what we had, but please let us know, like if you want to adjust anything or whatever.
00:41:55
Speaker
whatever like we like everyone to like agree because otherwise if you don't it sets the tone for the day very oh yeah yeah totally yeah Yeah.
Hiring the Right Planner and Final Thoughts
00:42:07
Speaker
And I mean, i guess the last big actionable tip is, i mean, obviously hire professional planner, you know, how on someone who's not related, someone who's not a friend. And I think just too, I always tell couples like, do your research.
00:42:20
Speaker
Like I said, we all come, we all have to start somewhere. Like, you know, yes, we're eight years in and yes, eight years ago we were brand new, but I just think depending on the kind of wedding you're wanting, how many guests you're having, like if it's very formal black tie, like I wouldn't necessarily go book the cheapest planner.
00:42:37
Speaker
Like just do your research, interview multiple planners, make sure you like them. And, you know, just, again, i just don't look at the cost of a planner and immediately go, that's out of my budget.
00:42:49
Speaker
Like, yes, we all have budgets and we need to like, you know, you might not be able to afford the $10,000 planner. But like sometimes what comes with that higher cost in a planner is experience. And sometimes it's worth it versus like, you know, saving a couple hundred dollars and going with this brand new planner. Sure, it was cheaper. But like, is it going to make the day what you want? I mean, just something to like think about.
00:43:12
Speaker
Totally. And we just truly believe you do get what you pay for. Yeah. But like Stradin said, it's it's what you value and like what's important to you. But if it's important for you to have a relaxed, well thought out, well executed and smooth day.
00:43:29
Speaker
Very well written timeline. It's like a no brainer to hire a planner who knows what they're doing. ah Agreed. Yeah. So interview, check their reviews, talk to people who've worked with them. Yeah.
00:43:41
Speaker
And like we said, you really should like your planner because they're going to be, you're going to spend a lot of time with them. So if you don't like their personality, move on to the next. You're planning. Those are our timeline tips. Yay. did it. Good luck. Go write your timeline.
00:44:00
Speaker
Let us know if you have any questions. Cheers. Cheers.