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Non-Traditional Wedding Ideas We LOVE | Episode 16
11 Plays14 days ago
In this episode of Behind "I Do", we're diving into some of our favorite non-traditional wedding trends and personalized ideas that we've seen couples embrace over the last few years. From walking down the aisle with both parents, to private vows, family-style dinners, dedicated bouquet moments, and private cake cuttings, we're sharing creative ways couples are making their weddings feel more meaningful, personal, and authentic. Whether you're currently planning your wedding or simply love hearing behind-the-scenes wedding insights, this episode is full of inspiration for creating a celebration that reflects your relationship—not just tradition. In this episode: • Alternative ways to walk down the aisle • Why we love switching where parents sit during the ceremony • Family-style dinners, food trucks, brunch weddings & unique meal ideas • The pros and cons of non-traditional reception food options • First dances before dinner vs. after dinner • Why the garter toss is disappearing (and what couples are doing instead) • Meaningful alternatives to the bouquet toss • Private and unannounced cake cuttings • Private vows and first look vow readings • How to create a wedding day that feels true to you At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong way to celebrate your wedding. The best weddings are the ones that reflect the couple at the center of them. ☕ Grab your coffee, your planning binder, and join us Behind "I Do." #WeddingPlanning #WeddingPodcast #WeddingIdeas #WeddingTips #BrideToBe #WeddingInspiration #WeddingCoordinator #WeddingPlanner #WeddingTraditions #ModernWedding #WeddingReception #WeddingDayTips #WeddingAdvice #WeddingCeremony #BehindIDo #WeddingPlanningPodcast #WeddingTrends #WeddingEducation #BrideAndGroom #WeddingDayIdeas
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Transcript
Introduction to Behind I Do
00:00:00
Speaker
Planning a wedding comes with timelines, trends, expectations, and a whole lot that couples never see coming. We're two wedding planners pulling back the curtain on what really happens behind I do. Each week on Behind I Do, we bring you real talk about real weddings, timelines, trends, the wins, and the what-ifs.
00:00:16
Speaker
From the smooth as silk celebrations to the did-that-actually-just-happen moments, we're sharing the stories, lessons, and insider knowledge that help couples plan with confidence and maybe even laugh along the way.
00:00:27
Speaker
Whether you're a bridegroom, vendor, or wedding lover at heart, this is your backstage pass to the world of weddings. Told candidly, graciously, and with the expertise only seasoned planners can offer. Grab your coffee, your planning binder, and your confetti, and join us behind
Rise of Non-Traditional Wedding Traditions
00:00:42
Speaker
I do. Episode 16, Your Wedding Your Way.
00:00:47
Speaker
Today we're talking about some non-traditional wedding traditions that we have been seeing the past couple years that we really love. Yes. I love non-traditional things.
00:00:58
Speaker
um I mean, I guess the first big one is always like who's walking them down the aisle. Yeah. Obviously, very traditionally, it's the ma or the bride and the dad.
00:01:09
Speaker
um i guess, and even with the you know the groom, or if it's a groom and a groom, bride and a bride, usually it's like whoever goes first, it's like with the dad or with the mom. Then who goes second is usually the dad.
00:01:23
Speaker
so Or even the grooms alone. Yeah, the grooms alone. yeah time too yeah but now I feel like a ah lot more popularly, it's been like the groom with mom and dad.
00:01:33
Speaker
Yeah. It's like become like very common. But then I know like even at this last wedding we just did, it's like it's funny because dads are usually like, like, where do I go? Like, do I not do we put the mom in the middle? And I'm like, well, no, like your child's in the middle and you guys are on the other side of them. But I just think it's a fun way to incorporate both your parents. Yeah.
00:01:52
Speaker
And then like, yeah, it's obviously like traditionally the bride comes in last with her dad. And, you know, I mean, it has like I think we've seen it all like brides walk alone. Brides walk with both parents. Brides just walk with mom. A grandparent. oh Yeah.
00:02:07
Speaker
It just is a really it's an honor to get to walk you down the aisle. So I think it's important to pick someone that you want to honor in that way. yeah um Because it is a big deal. It's like a big moment.
00:02:19
Speaker
And I think un important what I mean, this whole thing talking about traditions, I mean, I like we have a conversation a lot with our couples that it's like, sure, it's tradition to do it a certain way. But like we want couples to do what feels right to you.
00:02:32
Speaker
Like, no matter what that is, like, don't just do it just because. Everyone has done it for years before you like I mean like I my mom walked me down the aisle and that was like something I really wanted based on the relationship that I have with my mom and I wanted to give my mom that spotlight like I wanted her to have that moment and so it just was very like meaningful to me. Yeah super sweet. Yeah.
Inclusive Seating Arrangements
00:02:55
Speaker
Another tradition that we like to talk about at our rehearsals is where the parents are going to sit because traditionally there's the bride's side and the groom's side. And whether your guests follow that, but like usually family pretty aggressively sticks to like the traditional side. yeah And they don't really think anything else of it.
00:03:14
Speaker
But what we've noticed is that if you are, say, the groom on the right and you have your parents sitting right off in that first row, they don't even get to see your face during the wedding.
00:03:27
Speaker
And that's kind of part of the whole point. yeah Being able to look up and see your parents. And it's really comforting, i think, for a lot of our brides and grooms and people up there at the altar to look a little bit out and be able to see their parents right away. Yeah. Because if your mom is sitting in the first row.
00:03:45
Speaker
Like behind you. Behind you. You're never going to see her the whole ceremony. yeah So we think that's a really fun way. yeah And I think a lot of, I think like Allie said, initially parents are like, no, like need to stick to the traditional sides. But then when we explain that to them, the moms are like, oh yeah, I want to be on the other side. Yeah. I want to see my kids face throughout the wedding. And I think the thing that I think it also kind of makes it feel like is that like you're supporting both sides too. And it's like, you know, you are the mother of the groom, but you're sitting on the bride's side. It's like, it's almost like we're all just like,
00:04:18
Speaker
Joining as a family is one, which is like what you are doing. Yeah. Throughout the wedding. Yeah. So we love that
Innovative Food Options
00:04:25
Speaker
one. Yes. And then another big thing is obviously like food. Like, you know, because I think traditionally it's just like a very plated or buffet dinner, like very...
00:04:34
Speaker
Chicken or beef. Chicken or beef. And maybe a fish option. yeah well Yeah. And so now, you know, like food trucks have become super popular, which I mean, i feel like i have like a love hate with them. Like sometimes it's great. Sometimes it takes longer. But I think it depends on the feel of your wedding. I think food trucks can be really cool and like done really well. 100%.
00:04:53
Speaker
ah hundred percent um So I know that's like become really popular with a lot of our couples um or even like we've had a few do the family style, which I think is kind of fun where it's like where they put the food on the table and bowls. You pass it like you're at Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah. Which I do think makes um for a really fun guest experience like throughout the dinner because.
00:05:14
Speaker
It can be awkward at dinner if you're maybe you don't know anyone else at the table. It's just you and whoever your plus one was and you don't know the other eight people. It forces you to say things like, oh, will you pass the bread or yeah can I have more of the salad? Or it kind of makes you interact with them, which is nice. I think that's a good thing to do. And I think it's almost, i don't know, logistically, I kind of like it, too, from like the planning perspective, because it's like.
00:05:43
Speaker
you know It's not like the plated where they have to get out you know food to every person and it's like you know we have to do it timely manner and what if it's cold? We have know what they ordered and there has to be a little symbol on their name card. And then also like the buffet where everyone has to get up and we have to dismiss tables and bla bla blah, blah, blah. kind of like logistically, it's kind of nice. like The caterers bring it out, set it down, and people can kind of eat on their own time in a way and not feel like they're sitting there waiting to like...
00:06:09
Speaker
either get their food or like go through the buffet line. Totally. So just kind of nice. No, it's super nice. And yeah, like you said, the caterers do a really nice job of like staggering it. So you have bread and maybe a salad waiting on your table when you come in from cocktail hour.
00:06:22
Speaker
and then, yeah, they start bringing out kind of different phases of the entrees and it makes for a really nice meal. We've seen a lot of grazing tables. i feel like this is almost a trend that's starting to leave again. Yeah.
00:06:35
Speaker
yeah um But it was like charcuterie cups, charcuterie boards. And now, I mean, you see these huge, t like, elaborate tables, heavy apps, um kind of something a little bit different than, like, I would say a standard wedding is like a past appetizer or right a little...
00:06:54
Speaker
Like station of snacks. Right. Yeah, the other grazing tables or like, yeah, the heavy apps you're saying. Like we've had a wedding where, yeah, they didn't do a dinner. They just did heavy apps. I mean, yeah again, depending on the style of the wedding that you want.
00:07:06
Speaker
It be a nice feel. Yeah. Or like brunch weddings. We've had a couple of those, which is kind of fun. Which obviously that, I mean, similar to like either plated or buffet, but they, it's just like, obviously the food is very different.
00:07:17
Speaker
It's more breakfast style, which is kind of fun. Yeah. Yeah. And a totally different feel to your wedding to ask guests to arrive at 10 or 11 a.m. than 3 or 4 p.m. And then have your planner have to show up at like 6 a.m.
00:07:31
Speaker
It's a very different day for us, but we're happy that. We're like done by two and we don't know what to do with ourselves. Yeah. We've seen a lot of different like taco bars, potato bars, chili, like any kind of kind of make your own. Yeah. Which I think gives guests the ability, like if you have food allergies or you're picky eater, it's just a different, it empowers the guests to like make their own food decisions, which is kind of nice. And I think it could be fun when our couples do stuff like that because it's like they're incorporating, maybe it's like,
00:08:01
Speaker
You know, they really love potatoes, like baked potatoes. Like that is like their big thing or connection or first date or something. Or a taco bar is like their first date was at always go. Yeah, so I think it's kind of fun to make it again more personal and unique, which is kind of fun. um Yeah.
00:08:18
Speaker
Or even, yeah, then there's the Woodfire Pizza, which I feel like, don't feel like it was pretty hot. and Now it's kind of, I don't know. I definitely feel like it's become popular, but then...
00:08:29
Speaker
I don't know. Then I feel like it's also kind You've nightmare logistics with wood fire pizza. Yeah. Like I love pizza, but sometimes I prefer when couples do the, what like the pizza for like the late night food.
00:08:40
Speaker
Pizza for late night is so great. Yeah. Cause then it's just like. box pizza. Don't do anything. You don't need to do anything special. Yeah. Like when we bring out those Domino's. Pizza boxes and they everyone on the dance is like, what? They're so excited for Domino's. It's so funny. Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:57
Speaker
so yeah, I mean, I feel like those are, like, the pretty nontraditional dinner things. But like we said, I just s think it makes it feel more personal and encourages guests to, like, mingle, have different experiences. Yeah. And it's just— I'm excited this weekend we have a um ham hamburger bar from Horsewood.
00:09:14
Speaker
Oh. That'll be fun. I'm excited to see how that goes. It'll be good. Yeah. It's definitely a good way to, like— Make people remember your wedding. Yeah. Stand out in a different way. Yeah. Because like we said, it's so standard to get the plated chicken um or go through a buffet.
00:09:29
Speaker
Right. But they're going to remember more, A, if it was good and B, if it was like a fun experience versus just a traditional buffet or whatever. So something to think about while you're planning your wedding. Mm-hmm.
Reimagining First Dances
00:09:41
Speaker
For sure. And then another um traditional or non-traditional thing is like the first dance. So, mean, I don't know technically what is the traditional like way to do it. I mean, I feel like for us, the more common way is it's like.
00:09:57
Speaker
You know, where we eat dinner, we have toast, and then we go to the formal dances. like And then that leads into open dancing. But I feel like it's, I don't know, I feel like it is like a thing where people want to do their grand entrance and go straight into their first dance. So before dinner.
00:10:12
Speaker
Yeah, they do it before. And separate it from the other dances. Yeah. Yeah, which interesting. I don't know. I never really know how i feel about it. I mean, i sometimes I love it because it makes it like the newlyweds come in to their reception.
00:10:27
Speaker
They make their big entrance and they go straight into their like beautiful like first dance together. But then it's like, then you're stopping it and then going straight into dinner. So just... I mean, logistically, I think if you like the flow, if you plan it correctly, it can be really pretty. But sometimes I feel like it can feel choppy where it's like we're doing grand entrance. We're doing a first dance. Then we're going to eat. Then we're going to toast. Now we're going to do the other dances. Yeah.
00:10:50
Speaker
But. I do think sometimes it's nice to break up the dancing though. Yeah. Because even we talked about this in one of my planning meetings recently about toasting because we had a lot of toasters. And we were like, let's do like a pre-dinner, at least one or two.
00:11:04
Speaker
Yeah. And just try to keep people engaged in different things. parts at different times because I do think probably by the third formal dance you're like okay people aren't actually watching we're ready to dance yeah which and that's true and it kind of makes that like high energy special moment again like focusing on the newlyweds then like yeah like you said like maybe do a couple toasts leading like before dinner do dinner do some more toasts and then then it's the moment to highlight again the parents where you do those formal dances with the parents so which is nice
00:11:36
Speaker
yeah It gives you time to like, are you going to bustle or change? kind of If you want to change for open dancing or for your dance with your parents, it's nice to yeah have a little bit of a break.
Evolving Wedding Traditions
00:11:48
Speaker
And then, mean, whole traditional bouquet toss and boutonniere or not boutonniere, gardener, what's it called? That garter thing. word Honestly, I don't think I have seen a garter toss at one of our weddings in a long time. I personally, which, I mean, couples can do whatever they want. I think it's the cringiest thing. Like, I can't watch it. It just, like, at my wedding, I was like, my grandpa's out there. I'm like, no thanks. But that, like, I think is a very traditional thing that has kind of gone away. For sure, the garter top. Yeah. Some couples just do bouquets. Some do both. Right. Some do, but my favorite is when instead of the garter toss, they like ice the ice the groom or ice the significant other. Like that I think is amazing. Like, and I wish I would have done that at my wedding. Like he goes to go under a dress and it's like, surprise. Surprise. But now it's like instead of those two things, I mean, sometimes they still do the bridal or the bouquet toss, but we've had a lot of brides want to dedicate their bouquet to their mom, which I love that, especially like if it's your dad walking down the aisle, he gets that moment, he gets to dance with you, and then your mom gets something special yeah too. Which I think is super sweet. Yeah, we love that. um Yeah, and we've had I mean, some people do it like during speeches or right before the toasts.
00:13:07
Speaker
um Some like or we've had them like, yeah, like when they do like this last wedding I did, it was like we went through all the toasts and then the last one is usually like the newlywed thank you. And then that was kind of the bride's way to transition yeah like into giving her bouquet to her mom before she danced with her dad.
00:13:23
Speaker
um so that's super cute but I just yeah I think it's fun ways to just incorporate still like do some like an activity in a way like the bouquet toss but make it like a little more meaningful break up dancing a little bit yeah yeah my bride at my last wedding did it um right before her bouquet toss and like brought her mom out on the dance floor and it was super sweet her mom had helped her plan a lot of it yeah so it was just a really important moment for them and I loved it yeah I agree. I think it's so fun. And then it's like, you know, especially if your mom has helped, like you said, plan and pay for it, then it's like she gets that cute little keepsake of keeping your bouquet. It's so fun.
00:14:04
Speaker
One of our next ones we see a lot um now is instead of doing like a traditional cake cutting where everyone's watching you, we just call it a private cake cutting or like at least like a non-announced cake cutting. yeah Some people truly want it like private.
00:14:20
Speaker
Like they want the dance floor to be going on and us to sneak them away and they just want to cut it like very non-announced. Like just very discreetly. Yeah. Some people are fine with like people watching, but they don't want it to be announced and like be this whole thing. Yeah. Which it makes for a little bit better flow in our minds if it's not an important part of the ceremony to you or your family.
00:14:43
Speaker
um I also think just wedding cakes in general aren't as extravagant and like elaborate. It's not like a four tier. Yeah. Like as they used to be. Yeah. So I also think it's sort of.
00:14:54
Speaker
It kind of matches the trend of wedding cakes being a little bit more quiet and smaller. is ah It's like really not that big of a deal to like cut the cake. Yeah. So yeah it's just a little bit quieter. It doesn't distract or like take away from the night. Well, like a lot of our couples, because usually it's like, you know, again, it's like dinner, toasts, dance, formal dances, open dancing. And then it's like.
00:15:18
Speaker
Having one more thing to cut the cake just, like, adds, like, another activity or another reason your guests have to stay in their seats. So a lot of our couples are, like, i just want to get through some of those—not get through, that sounds bad, but, like, do some of those things and then get open dancing so people want to have a good time, and then we'll cut the cake and not have one more thing that they have to, like— be a part of or whatever yeah 100 and i think it makes i like the photos almost better because i feel like the couple is like more relaxed because not everybody is watching them and they can kind of have fun with it and like then it's not the pressure because it is always like where do i put my hands and what am i like they're all just like nerve no one knows what to do when they get up there like they've never cut a cake before in their life they're just like
00:16:01
Speaker
So but it does make it a little more, I think, natural. Yeah. When it's like not everyone's watching them. But something we do, what no matter, unless they truly, like Allie said, want it to be 100% private. Like, we always will go around and make sure, like, the parents know. Like, because we're not making an announcement. Like, we like to go find the parents, maybe grandparents, maybe wedding party. Just so that those people know, like, hey, they are going to cut the cake. So if you want to watch it, like...
00:16:29
Speaker
yeah yeah Some people do get very distraught that they missed the cake. Yes, we've had moms be very upset. So we want to make sure we're like, talk to your kids. Yeah, well that's a good one.
Private Vows and Personal Touches
00:16:40
Speaker
Our last one that we've seen more commonly is private vows, like in the morning or the night before your wedding, and then just doing more of like a standardized ceremony um script during your actual ceremony. Yeah, just the standard I do's that you would use be used to hearing.
00:16:59
Speaker
And it's kind of the same as the private cake cutting. It like gives the couple a chance to say what they want to say without saying, I don't know if judgment's the right word, but like without having The fear of like judgment or like critique. Yeah. Having to say that in front of your grandparents. And like, what if you want something kind of funny or silly or an inside joke?
00:17:21
Speaker
Like doing that in front 150 people may not be like the time or the place. So it just creates like a really special moment for you to connect with your like soon-to-be spouse before your wedding without...
00:17:37
Speaker
Having to do it. Yeah. And I think a lot of people don't. I mean, I hear it all the time from couples that like they don't like to be the center of attention. And it's a lot of pressure to like be able to get out the words that they want to get out in front of all those people. And so i think it does make it just little more special. And yeah again, like a little more like real, real because they're actually saying what they want to say versus, you know, up there. It's like, brock yeah, yeah.
00:18:04
Speaker
I also think, too, like, um if you're a very emotional person or, like, know that you're going to like, sobbing, it's a great opportunity to, like... start before hair and makeup, like before you get your life moving that way in that direction that day, it's a nice way to like start your day.
00:18:22
Speaker
And like, at least I think it helps like release your emotional like tension level yeah and you can just be a little bit more relaxed because you already have done that portion. So I think, yeah, it can, it can be a really good tool for a lot of couples. Or like I've had couples too, they do it,
00:18:40
Speaker
they do private vows, like a first look and then like read private vows at that first look. And it's like her hair makeup is already done. But like you said, then if she's worried about crying and stuff, then the hair makeup gal is still there.
00:18:52
Speaker
so so they do their first first look, get the tears out. And then the the hair and makeup gal swoops in and kind of does like some touch ups for her. Cause I know so a lot of our brides are like concerned about that, that they're like then, cause a lot of their photos are going to be like post post reading their vows. So yeah no, for sure.
00:19:10
Speaker
So, yeah, I mean, those are like seven of the big non-traditional, I guess, things that we often see. And we just like we said the beginning, we love to incorporate different, unique things in every wedding. And it's like I, you know, tell our couples all the time in our planning sessions, like just because it's like traditional or it's what your mom did or your grandma did, like that doesn't mean we have to do it. Like whatever feels good to you guys is what we want to do. And if you have a new idea of like you want to try something, like let's talk through it. Like.
00:19:37
Speaker
I just think it makes it feel more authentic for that couple and less like they're just going through the motions of like, we have to do these traditional things. Yeah, 100%. And it just can make weddings feel less stuffy and like structured yeah when you have these kind of organic and more true to you.
00:19:58
Speaker
agree. Throughout your wedding. So there we go. There we go Plan your wedding and find those fun, non-traditional things you want. cheer Cheers.