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The 60 Days After Your Proposal Should Go Like This... | Behind I Do Episode 9
22 Plays3 months ago
Wedding planning can feel overwhelming right after the excitement of getting engaged. In this episode of Behind I Do, two experienced wedding planners break down the first 60 days of wedding planning—what couples should focus on first and the common mistakes to avoid.
From setting a realistic wedding budget and building your guest list to choosing the right venue, date, and planner, we’re sharing insider advice to help you start planning with confidence. If you’re newly engaged, a wedding vendor, or just love the world of weddings, this episode gives you a candid behind-the-scenes look at what really happens before the big day.
Grab your coffee, your planning binder, and your confetti—and come Behind I Do with us.
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
with timelines, trends, expectations, and a whole lot that couples never see coming. We're two wedding planners pulling back the curtain on what really happens behind I do. Each week on Behind I Do, we bring you real talk about real weddings, timelines, trends, the wins, and the what-ifs.
00:00:14
Speaker
From the smooth as silk celebrations to the did-that-actually-just-happen moments, we're sharing the stories, lessons, and insider knowledge that help couples plan with confidence and maybe even laugh along the way.
00:00:25
Speaker
Whether you're a bridegroom vendor or wedding lover at heart, this is your backstage pass to the world of weddings. Told candidly, graciously, and with the expertise only seasoned planners can offer. Grab your coffee, your planning binder, and your confetti and join us behind I do.
The First 60 Days of Planning
00:00:41
Speaker
Episode nine, the first 60 days of wedding planning, what to do when you get engaged and what not to do. Here we go. yeah All right. I mean, the thing we hear all the time that like the beginning is like the emotional whiplash for sure, where it's like you just got engaged. You're so excited. you know, cloud nine. Things are amazing.
00:01:04
Speaker
And then, i mean, some brides like and then it's just like all down. It's like then they just instantly get so overwhelmed. Which is very normal. Like I try every inquiry call I have with our like couples. I'm like, you know, I ask them like, what's stressing you out? Like all and they just like, I mean, it's very, I would say 90% of the time it's like the exact same things.
00:01:24
Speaker
Like they're just like, we got engaged and then we just kind of started looking at planning stuff and we got so overwhelmed that we just don't even know where to go. Like where to start. Yeah. So, I mean, it's like I said, it's very normal if you're feeling it. Like you're not alone.
00:01:39
Speaker
It's just like, unfortunately, the process of wedding planning. Yeah, and it's like the best day ever to get engaged. yeah It's so fun. You're usually surrounded by family and friends or you like post on social media and like everyone's so excited for you.
00:01:53
Speaker
but what that means is that you have like typically a year to plan a very large event. and Yeah, and then instant instantly people are asking questions like, where are you going to get married? what What date are you going to pick? Like, what are your colors? And you're like, I don't know. yeah Am I in the wedding? who's yeah So many decisions to make right away.
00:02:11
Speaker
And I think too, like I always joke with a lot of my, our full plan couples, like Pinterest is great, but it's also like the worst thing because I think then like you get engaged, you're so excited if you're like most girls girls,
00:02:26
Speaker
You know, you just, you've had a Pinterest since you were, I don't know, like it's been been like 10 years. i don't have Pinterest smell that around that long, but you've been saving all these things like wedding someday. And then like your taste has changed. And then now you start adding different things and then you see all these cool things and you're just like spiraling through Pinterest. You're usually gone to a lot of weddings. Yes. Everyone in your age group is getting married at the same time.
00:02:48
Speaker
then you start trying to remember like, that's That one wedding had awesome DJ or that specific yeah napkin. And that's something I want. So then i think you start to get all these crazy ideas in your head, too. So it's all very normal. It's overwhelming. There's lots of things you can do to start. And you don't have to do it all.
00:03:07
Speaker
Yeah. Like in the first week of being engaged. Yeah. And I think the other thing that comes in the beginning too is like a lot of the family pressure. Like a lot of people start having opinions. Like if your family is heavily involved, they want to start like being like, oh we need these people to be invited. And it just starts to get like, or think you should do this and not do this. And so there's all these things that are like coming at you that like Allie said, though, I think it's like, you just got to take a breath breather, enjoy being engaged and then maybe take a step back and like pause and connect with your significant other and figure out,
00:03:39
Speaker
kind of like a starting point and shut everybody out.
Key Decisions: Budget and Guest List
00:03:43
Speaker
Priorities. Yeah. So that's kind of where we're going to kind of go through some like the first decisions you should actually be making when you're wedding planning, because i think instantly, like, you know, like Ali said, you go to like all these weddings that you've been to and you want to start designing and doing all these things. And it's like, there's so many things before that, that you have to figure out to be able to get to that point.
00:04:03
Speaker
So we'll kind of dive through the first five decisions that we think actually matter in the very beginning of your wedding planning stages. And your first one's everyone's favorite wedding question is what's your budget? yu and this is so important because it sets a tone for what venue you can pick, how many people you can invite, what level of design you can have.
00:04:27
Speaker
um it also gives you guys the opportunity to have the conversation in the beginning of who is paying For what? And are there other people that want to help you guys pay for your wedding? Is this something you're going to do on your own? And kind of have those early conversations that really set like a good guideline for your wedding.
00:04:43
Speaker
We always ask a couple what their budgets are. And a lot of people don't know what to say here because... They're like, I've never planned a wedding. I don't know. They're like, I don't know what it costs to plan a wedding. um yeah So we typically try to start people with like a realistic wedding budget. Yeah. um Which in that, I mean, again, we'll get to this too, but planner versus no planner. I mean, that's what's sometimes nice. Like a lot of the and initial inquiry calls that we have, there are a lot of people are like, I don't really know. Like my parents are helping, but we're not really sure. We know weddings can be expensive.
00:05:14
Speaker
We don't want to really restrict ourselves, but we don't want to get crazy. And so it's nice to have a conversation with like a professional planner because, you know, some of our couples come to us and like, we want to get married in Sun Valley and our budget's $30,000. I'm like No, like not to burst your bubble, but like that's not possible. So just like having that real, like having somebody who's done it and have that realistic conversation of if you want to get married here or you're wanting all these things, like realistically, you're going to have to at least start here on a budget kind of a thing.
00:05:42
Speaker
yeah but And we'd say normal budgets we see ranging, but from 30 50, 50 is more of midline 100. fifty s more of a midline up to a hundred and We don't ever say—we don't have a minimum budget to work with. We aren't, like, worried about your budget. yeah But um we do like to be realistic that, like, with $30,000, you're likely not going to be able to have— X, Y, and Everything that you want in the decor and floral budget realms. And so then we pick, we work on finding um vendors that that fit within your budget. But that's just for Boise, Idaho.
00:06:20
Speaker
Like 50 is probably like an average wedding spend. Like you're going to probably at least hit 50. Unless, I mean, again, there's some people that, yeah, like do a backyard wedding, which honestly sometimes those even honestly cost more. But yeah, I mean, I just, like Allie said, we're not big on like...
00:06:37
Speaker
Like you can't do it for like whatever your budget is. But like Ali said, too, like we have a lot of conversations with our brides is you have to be realistic. Like if you only want to spend $30,000, get off a Pinterest.
00:06:48
Speaker
Stop comparing your wedding to all your friends because you're probably not going to be like you're going to. It's going to look and feel different. Yes. Than $50,000 wedding. And that's. yeah Or your friends, it probably was $100,000. And that's the hard part, too, is like when you've never planned a wedding, you probably went to wedding. You're like, it was so beautiful and like great. And you're like, yeah, but if you looked at their budget, Excel, I bet you they hit $80,000, $100,000. So it's that's like the hard part. so So get on the same page with your partner, whoever's paying for the wedding about your budget. Start there so that you guys can make like informed decisions on your venue and different things like that.
00:07:22
Speaker
Yeah. And a lot of our couples with the budget too, they'll say like, you know, 50 feels right. Like my mom's going to give 20, his mom's going to give 30, whatever it is. And then they can be like, and then as we kind of start booking things, like then we can decide we have, you know, some set aside that we could go over our budget a little. Like, I think that's what's having at least like an idea of where you want to be, but yes, have a buffer because what i see all the time with our planning couples too, is are like,
00:07:52
Speaker
No, 50,000. I don't want to go over it. We've been planning for a year. We're getting like three months out and they're ah, just add it on. not and Not that we push that, but it's just that's what sometimes just you have to get be realistic and have that buffer.
00:08:06
Speaker
Or, you know, like Ali said, you're there's going be some things you're not going to do. so yeah Anyway, we could probably talk about budget all day. Budget's forever. ah but But it is probably the yeah biggest topic talking point and good thing to get figured out yeah initially. The second one that's going to affect your budget insanely is your guest count. Yeah, because I mean, that affects rentals.
00:08:28
Speaker
I mean, venue. You're going to need a bigger venue your bigger guest count. Catering. I mean... Everything basically is determinant on this guest count. So within the budget, like that first day, if you guys have time to sit down, not the first day you get engaged, but the first day that you plan to start planning your wedding, if you have the ability to sit down with whoever is paying and start having those conversations and like writing out a physical list is so helpful or typing it on Excel and getting it started and seeing, oh we have 280 people we'd love to invite, but
00:09:04
Speaker
That, you know, knowing kind of that that would be a huge yeah wedding. yeah um Typical wedding sizes around here are 150. Yeah, 150, 180, yeah. Give or take, like a small wedding would probably be anything under 120.
00:09:17
Speaker
um And a very large wedding is like 250 plus. Yeah. um So those are just like good ranges for you to know. um a lot of couples that we know have tiered guest lists, they will invite a majority of people and there's a few people that they'd love to add on if they can. yeah um And also like understanding where your wedding is going to be is going to dictate your guest count. So if you're doing a Sun Valley wedding, like it's very difficult to travel to Sun Valley from the East Coast. So are people going to be able to make it? What time of year is it? um
00:09:53
Speaker
There's yeah just like some things to think about when you. Yeah. And because usually, I mean, it's what, like 20% roughly don't come. So, I mean, if you invite 250, you know, 250 people probably are not going to come, especially if you do like a destination wedding, which like we said, Sun Valley, McCall, those are the mountain towns around here. And those are more considered, you know, destination weddings, at least for in our state.
00:10:16
Speaker
So it's like your likelihood of having everybody come goes down even more because, know, Like Allie said, it's more difficult to get there. People are flying in and have to drive three hours. like Yeah.
00:10:27
Speaker
Also tells. like It just yeah creates a little bit of a trickier one. So it's always good to start with the ah your big list and ideal list. um And I do think this is a point where it's a good, especially if parents are involved, but also like with your significant other going through. And like we personally think that if you like if your spouse or soon-to-be spouse has never met this person,
00:10:51
Speaker
they probably shouldn't be involved or invited. But again, that's kind of where if your parents are paying and they're wanting to invite other like their friends and things like that, that's a conversation you guys are going to have to have. But that's personally what we think is that if like your significant other doesn't know them or maybe even they even if they've met them once, like if they're not like actively involved in your life, I don't think a wedding is a place that they should be invited. But again, that's like up to you and your budget and your parents and how you want to handle it. But I think that's a way to kind of not take people off the list, but kind of narrow it down to like people. Cause a lot of our couples, like they like, you know, want, they don't want someone coming to their wedding that they don't even know. And then they're like looking around and it's like, I don't even know that person is. Yeah. And having to meet people like at your wedding is an awkward experience. Right. So you're already very overstimulated with having to talk to everybody. And now you're like meeting people at your wedding. Yeah. So I mean, that's, I think a big golden rule is like, if your spouse doesn't, as soon as be spouse doesn't know them or like, you know, you're not actively involved in each other's lives.
00:11:50
Speaker
I don't think they should be invited, but. Yeah, helps cut down your guest list little bit. Because it does. I mean, it's funny. We've had so many couples that are like, oh, you know, we're thinking like 100 whatever. And then when they actually, like I said, start their like actual list, they're like oh, yeah, we got up to like 200. And that was just my side. And it's like it adds up.
00:12:08
Speaker
Real fast. I mean, there's so many people that you love when you start actually writing it down. Yeah. That it like gets out of control. Yeah. Especially if like one side or the other or both have really large families like that's, you know, then it's like your families are taking up a good majority of your guest list, which is great. But then it's like then you're like, oh, well, what about my friends? Yeah. we had 120 like person guest list that was our max. Oh, yeah. And i think our max was 130. Yeah. And it was like insane. I mean, 75 percent of that was family. Yeah.
00:12:39
Speaker
Which that I mean, i don't know. Sometimes I've again had couples where it's like they almost liked that. Like I kind of liked it because I have a very large family. My husband does not. But like it was nice to have ah like a max because it like if.
00:12:55
Speaker
I mean, it sounds bad, but it forces you not to have to invite everybody. like And it's a nice excuse in a way. Like my husband i both got new jobs the year that we got married. And we would have kind of liked to invite people. But we were like, unfortunately, we can only have 120 people and we're full. Like yeah it was a nice way to not have to extend an invite to everyone that you met. Yes. And just make sure that it's like more of like a just like those really important people in your life. Yeah.
00:13:20
Speaker
And I also think both of us. Enjoyed being able to know everyone at the wedding and talk to everyone at the wedding. and I think that's something that when you have these 300 people Weddings you don't realize that you're not going to be able to see everyone. No, um I mean you flew here and they like took so much time other their life to come. So I think it's really valuable to have a smaller guest count You can yeah really splurge more on decor and really high quality food and things like that, but you don't have to feed the masses.
00:13:49
Speaker
Agreed. Agreed. All
Venue Selection and Its Impact
00:13:52
Speaker
right. The next big thing is obviously venue. I mean, venue is, I mean, going to be like your first vendor that you, I mean, you ah rewind, you could book a planner before you book a venue and we were, we'll kind of talk about that, but venue is like the first big, obviously without a venue, you don't have a date.
00:14:08
Speaker
So you need a venue. And that also is like a big one of the larger, you know, portions of your budget is going to go to the venue. So that's something where it's like we always say start with your venue planner. Can I so like I said, can be right there with venue either before or after. But like, you know, your venue, like i said, is going to be a good chunk of your budget.
00:14:27
Speaker
And we're going to need to know your budget to book your venue. You're going to need to know your guest count to book your venue. Yeah. So you need to have those things already in the back of your mind before you start venue shopping. Because if you're looking at venues that only, excuse me, house like 100 people, but your guest list is like 200. Like, it's not, that's just a waste of everybody's time. So, yeah. Yeah. So I think venue is a big thing and just kind of.
00:14:52
Speaker
Some of our couples, like when they come to us, they don't have a venue and it's like they don't really know what they want. But I think that's kind of starting to try to visualize. Do you want indoor, outdoor? Do you want, you know, a ceremony outside, reception inside? Do you want everything outside? Like especially around here, we have a lot of like all outs outdoor venues, but some couples don't want that. Or we have a handful of barns and people don't want barns. So I think just like really trying to narrow down.
00:15:17
Speaker
what your vision is. But then on the flip side, again, some of our couples don't know, but they were like, well, like when I'm working with now, their guest list is two to two 50. So then they're like, let's just go look at what's available. And it's like around here, there's not a lot of venue options that can house that many people. So we just, I just made a list of the ones that can, and that's what we went and saw. And it's like, these are your options. If you want 250 people at your wedding. yeah or you're going to have to readjust your guest count. Your guest count, yeah. And I think, too, understanding what venues include that initial roundup of looking at venues. Because if you have an all-outdoor venue and you want to get married in May, for example, we very likely could need a tent. yeah So even though the venue was $4,200 because it was an all-outdoor venue, you may be spending another $2,000 on a tent
00:16:04
Speaker
um early May because it's going to rain on your wedding day or something. So kind of understanding the consequence of finding a cheaper venue that isn't going to have tables, chairs, things included in it will also impact your budget at the end of the day. so it's venues, a huge decision. Yeah. And that's, that also made think the same couple that I did tours with, we looked at two that were very similar, but one was like a little bit cheaper, but then one The one that was cheaper didn't include tables and chairs, didn't include restrooms.
00:16:36
Speaker
There was no indoor option. So again, we like looked at the budget. i'm like, okay, well, we're saving, you know, $2,000 on this cheaper venue. But then after you rent tables and chairs for 250 people and have to get like luxury porta potties and potentially a tent, now we're over the- $4,000. Yeah. Like it's like, so then that's honestly why they picked the other venue because it was like they had an indoor option.
00:17:01
Speaker
So they didn't have to rent a tent and it include tables and chairs and the restroom. So it was just like, you know, things like that that you have to kind of think about that are going to affect your budget for sure. So many things to think through with venue.
00:17:13
Speaker
And within venue, then we have like date flexibility and picking a date. So a lot of our couples will come to us and we're like, how did you pick the date? Because sometimes it's your five year anniversary or it's something really significant. Like, yeah.
00:17:27
Speaker
like a birthday of someone in the family who's passed or some really sweet meaning. But a lot of the times people are like that. This is the venue we wanted and this is the date that was available. Yeah. And it was the time year we liked or or we wanted a fall wedding and there's only four weekends in fall or yeah something like that. So most people are pretty. Yeah. And a lot of the venues, we don't have that many options. I mean, we are getting there, but that's the thing, too. It's like especially in the peak seasons.
00:17:52
Speaker
Everything books up so fast. So it's like sometimes it's like, yeah, this is the only fall date that's available. So either take it or get married in the spring. and we want to talk about a little bit here in Idaho, we have peak season pricing and non-peak season pricing at most of our venues. So ah our peak season is May through October, like the nicest months in Boise see and around town. And then if you go to that non-peak season pricing, if you wanted a winter wedding or something like that, that's another way to get more value
00:18:26
Speaker
More bang for your buck. Yeah. Because you're booking a little bit cheaper season. um And also with like vendor availability. For example, 627 this year, we have a lot of weddings on one day. But if you want to get married on 628, like almost everyone's probably available because it's a Sunday. yeah So if you're a little flexible with your dates and you guys have the ability to do a non-Saturday wedding or a non-peak season wedding, it gives you that vendor flexibility, maybe a little bit cheaper price um is another way to kind of get a little bit more.
00:19:00
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. And I think, I mean, that's like I have a wedding. We have a wedding this year that's in April. And it's it's almost kind of nice because like when they booked, like I wasn't as stressed like booking their vendors because I knew April's such a chill Chiller time of year. Whereas like, again, yeah, like our June weddings, it's like, or September, like those are two busiest months. And it's like, when someone books us for that, it's like, you know, we're already booking a September 2027 wedding, like vendors for that wedding. And it's like, people are already like booking up and it's just like.
00:19:35
Speaker
just a little more like chaotic because you're just like because you know if you want certain venue vendors like you have to get on it but like the april wedding it's like oh we got time like everyone will be available yeah december weddings are like amazing yeah every vendor you ask like we're available we're available yeah we're available and we're giving a discount yeah because it's winter like i mean even like some of the rental companies like for have we have a wedding this coming saturday and it's like because it's in the middle of february they like give a discount for like a winter time wedding so i mean yes So if budget is tight, that's a great way to save here and there is to book a non-peak.
00:20:09
Speaker
Yep. And then the last big decision we've already kind of talked about is like planner versus no planner. This is kind of a good time to decide if you want a planner or not. Like we said, you can, we have some couples that book us before a venue. It's not as common. I would say most our couples come to us after they booked a venue, after they have a date,
00:20:27
Speaker
But then they hire us to kind of help continue to make all these decisions. So I just think the sooner you book a planner, obviously the better because that's somebody there that can like, you can bounce ideas off and as somebody who also can kind of keep you on track with your budget and like help you make decisions. And like a lot of our couples say like,
00:20:45
Speaker
If you hire a really good planner who's been in the industry for a while, they have a lot of connections. Like they know a lot of vendors. They know a lot of, you know, tips and all that kind of stuff. So i think it makes it ah just feel way less stressful because you have somebody who's kind of like on your side helping manage things. From day one. Yeah.
The Role of Wedding Planners
00:21:02
Speaker
Which is amazing. Yeah. Unfortunately, we meet a lot of brides like in the and grooms and the.
00:21:08
Speaker
trenches of wedding planning and they are like six months out in a panic because they maybe have sent out invites or save the date. But other that, they have like no one booked and they're just like, I don't know how this happened. Like I'm six months away from my wedding and we have to all things booked.
00:21:24
Speaker
So we like feel for those people because that's not a fun place to be. And that's not how wedding planning should feel. no So the sooner you can book a planner, the better. And the best case scenario would be like week one because we can help guide you even making venue recommendations and and we too learn with you and yeah we can listen to what you want. And in our head, we already see four venues that will fit what you want perfectly where you're just looking at a Google list of like Boise's best venues.
00:21:53
Speaker
And you have no idea where to start. so yeah, I think it's really helpful if you can and you want to book a planner. It doesn't cost you any less to book them as it does to book them midway through. So one, I think recently I was having a conversation, honestly, with another planner who's potentially going to hire us. And it's funny because we have a lot of our full plans are very A type rides.
00:22:15
Speaker
And it's the conversation I was having with this other planner was it's like, you know, she does this for a living, but also it's like when it comes to your wedding, it's like there's so much more emotion to it. There's so many more decisions like you. And like she's like, I'm just already getting decision fatigue. Like, I just want somebody who like can just help me make decisions. And I think that's a lot of.
00:22:36
Speaker
ah The couples think that like they're like, oh, well, we can do this. We can handle it. And that's like Ali saying where they come to us and like six months out because they're like, well, I am very organized. I'm very A type. But it's just like I'm just so busy and there's so many going things going on and I just can't make any decisions. And it's it's just a lot. So it's like even if you're A type and you're like, I can plan this.
00:22:55
Speaker
I would still consider like just having conversations with planners. Like we are the type of planners. I always tell couples, like i I not the type of planner that's going to like tell you what to do and tell you how to spend your money. I'm the planner that's going to give you different options and opinions and feedback and keeping you on track and making sure we're doing things. But at the end of the day, it's always your decision. Like you decide what we're doing. You decide what we're booking.
00:23:17
Speaker
That's not why I'm here. It's like, we're here to just like, A, be like that sounding board. And that's what a lot of our couples like to just someone once a month to be like, what am I supposed to be doing? Like, help me. But also just again, yeah I'm making those decisions and just like relieving some of that stress.
00:23:34
Speaker
So I just think even if you're a type, just I would still consider talking to a couple planners and just seeing what they offer, seeing if it would be a good fit. Like, You know, we're all busy and it's like, you know, planners do this for a living. So it's not going to hurt to have somebody to just just support you. and speaking of that, some of our couples even like it because like their moms are super involved and super opinionated and they have kind of a hard time not necessarily putting them in their place, but just like voicing their opinion. Without hurting their feelings. Right.
00:24:08
Speaker
and There is that emotional aspect. So that's like, I mean, I can't tell you how many times it's like I've been the middleman and very professionally and nicely been like, I hear you. That's such a great idea. But that's not what Sarah wants to do. Like, we're going to go this route. And so it's like we you have that person who's kind of takes the emotion out of it and just like, here's what you want and like helps you get to that instead of living family, like we said before, like having opinions and taking over and like.
00:24:32
Speaker
then all of a sudden your wedding is nothing of what you wanted. Yeah. Creating a lot family drama. Yes. For sure. Yes. So yeah, those are the five things that we really recommend starting with.
00:24:43
Speaker
like Like we said, like take a step back, slow down, get those bigger things done and then kind of dive in to the rest of it, which kind of segues into like what not to do, which there's plenty of those things. But I mean, the biggest thing is vendors. I think,
00:25:02
Speaker
People get engaged and they just like get like they just start reaching out to a million vendors. And that's also where it kind of gets very overstimulating and you're just like, you can't even keep track of like who you've reached out to, who you've talked to, who costs what.
00:25:17
Speaker
So it's like, don't reach out to every single vendor category in the beginning. Yeah. Do not. Start with your venue. And then if you have one really specific like photos, very important to you. yeah Start with three of your photographers that you want to reach out to. But yeah, like Jade said, it gets overwhelming.
00:25:37
Speaker
You don't have the ability to process every like response that comes in and then you end up ghosting vendors and you're like, well, I think they were available. The other problem that we see a lot of brides do here is they pick out, OK, I'm going to reach out to.
00:25:51
Speaker
15 vendors today, like on a Saturday, they really get into wedding planning mode. And then they wait like eight, 10 weeks to respond because they just were so overwhelmed. And they go back to that vendor. Hey, Ben, like, I know you could do the drapery for me.
00:26:07
Speaker
And he's like, I'm booked. Like, that was that was eight weeks ago. So I think you need to be careful, too, about Yeah, when you reach out to vendors, making sure that you have the time and, like, the mental capacity to respond compare, respond, and book. Like, that's your goal with vendor inquiries is to book a vendor at the end of the day.
00:26:26
Speaker
So make sure that you're able to do that. Don't overwhelm yourself. again, that's kind of what a planner helps with, too, it because that's, like, how we do it. It's like, yeah, we usually start with, like... photographer, caterer, DJ. I mean, those are pretty like the three high important ones that get booked up fast. So those are like the three we start with and we so we reach out to three in each category, see who's available and then like bring it all to you and say, okay, these are your options. And so that's, I mean, obviously a planner helps, but that's, if you didn't have a planner of kind of how I would do it, like start with, like Alice said, either the really important ones to you or those three areas that get booked up really fast and
00:27:01
Speaker
Reaching, like talking to two to three of them, comparing them. Once those are booked, then shifting and moving on to like hair and makeup, florists, like, you know, going down that road. It just helps with, again, that decision fatigue too. Yeah. overwhelm.
00:27:16
Speaker
Don't let your family and friends dictate your guest count or your bridal party count or any of those numbers that are important to you because you're going to get a lot of opinions on you have too many bridesmaids. You don't have enough. You don't have any bridesmaids. Like, what the heck? So make sure you're unified with your spouse on that decision and stick with it. Yeah. And like we said, when your're if your parents are involved in putting in a budget, like having that conversation of,
00:27:44
Speaker
are they allowed to invite people to the wedding? I think that's, I mean, we see it all the time where it's like, which again, there's nothing wrong with it to a certain extent. The parents that are involved in like paying and they're like, I'm going all my work buddies and all these things. And so like, because I'm doing like, I'm paying for it. I can,
00:28:01
Speaker
Which is fine if your parent is okay with that. Like I had a wedding where it was like the one side of the family wanted to invite all these people, but the bride side was paying for And so those parents were like, well, that's not fair because now we're, you know, our budget is increasing because the groom side's parents want to and invite all these people.
00:28:20
Speaker
So I just think having those very clear conversations of like, okay, mom and dad, if you... like want to be involved and you're paying for the wedding, that's fine. But like, if you're going to invite 50 extra people, like you're paying for catering, like you're and like rentals, because we're going to have to increase our budget for that. So I think having those conversations of, or, you know, if they're only giving you $10,000, like, you know, mom and dad, thank you so much. But like, this is our max budget. So like we cannot have like, this is our max head count, like having those conversations before,
00:28:50
Speaker
Because, yeah, I mean, ah i see it all the time, parents that kind of dictate that. And then you're just like, and then it does like cause that stress and drama of like, well, now we're like $20,000 over budget because my mom wanted to invite 100 of her work friends or whatever. Yeah.
00:29:04
Speaker
And same with that tiered guest list, like with your parents works really well too. Yeah. Okay, mom and dad, I know you have 22 really close family friends, but like from a to Z, like who's most important? And like we could invite like the first six couples because that would add 12 and we have enough room for that and it wouldn't like blow our budget. But if you want to add all 22, like yeah that's a very different conversation. conversation So yeah, starting there.
00:29:27
Speaker
Don't announce, obviously, a date before you book a venue, which, i mean...
Timing and Vendor Prioritization
00:29:32
Speaker
i i think some people do, but that to me it sounds like common sense. So it's just... But yeah, obviously don't give people a date until you book a venue. Yeah, and lock your venue in, sign the contract, send the deposit.
00:29:43
Speaker
You're typically not locked in until you do those two things. Yes. So before you even start telling other vendors, like, oh, hey, I'm getting married at Deer Flat Ranch on June 15th, like, make sure you have that actually finalized before you're sharing that with other people who are...
00:29:57
Speaker
Scheduling their lives and livelihood around your wedding date. Yeah. And making sure just in there, like make sure, you which I think we have chatted about this before, but just like really reviewing the contracts. Most contracts are pretty standard, but just again, like reading through them, making sure what's included, what's not, what's your access time, like all those things when you're booking it, like make sure you do that. Matter. Yeah.
Decor and Final Touches
00:30:20
Speaker
And then last big thing, it decor decisions like do not need to be made at this point. like and that like Decor is like so fun in designing and doing all these things. is' great. But honestly, like when a couple books with us, we don't typically start talking about like design until like the third month, the third meeting. it's like Because the first two months are like booking your vendors, touring venues, like making sure we have all those logistic things in place before we can start talking about the design. And like we said, it's like...
00:30:47
Speaker
Booking all your vendors and all those things are going to help dictate like what is left in your budget for your design aspect. So a lot of our couples, like that's where they get overstimulated to is like all these decisions and then signs and then signature drinks and then what's going to on the tables. And it's like, okay, let's just like...
00:31:03
Speaker
pause Yeah. If we don't have a bartender, like we can't have a signature drink. Yeah. So let's start with like the big decisions. Get the all that figured out. The bulk of your wedding planning and like design is truly really one of the simpler parts of wedding planning because by the, like Jayden said, by the time that we get to design, we know you better. Yeah. We know exactly what you're looking for. We have the time to go through your Pinterest boards and yeah,
00:31:28
Speaker
Get you a little bit more condensed. Yeah. And that's also, again, what kind of helps with the planner too, because we have a lot of brides that come to us and they're like, I just don't really know. have a hard time visualizing it And they're like, I have a lot of ideas, but I don't know how to like condense And so that's where, like Allie said, we take kind of all your inspiration pictures and we create one mood board that's like cohesive and we kind of compare things on that mood board. And then we meet at like an event place or rental place and like,
00:31:53
Speaker
Bring all the little pieces out and like talk through it to see what looks good and what doesn't. And again, I think that's what helps a lot of brides, too, with that relieving a lot of the stress is like having somebody kind of guide them through and being honest and be like, no, that doesn't look good or, you know, whatever, or not forcing an opinion. I think that sometimes with the parents, again, is like the mom's like, well, but I really like.
00:32:14
Speaker
That one. Old silverware. Yeah. And the bride's like, I don't. Yeah. So we can help with those things. And I think, too, even design is so venue specific. We have so many venues that need nearly no design because they're stunning and you're outside. And so it's like understanding where you're getting married is so important.
00:32:36
Speaker
To that design meeting. Yeah. And like what colors you pick and like, you know, because one of the venues is like solely outside and lots of greenery and it's like, you know, so I think you like it helps kind of pick your colors and determine what route you want to go for sure.
00:32:49
Speaker
So do not design your wedding. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And the first 60 days, it's going to change way too much. hundred percent. But yeah, I mean, just to wrap it up, I mean, our best advice is have those hard conversations with your partner and your parents, like in the beginning, like talking through, like we said, budget, making those big decisions, who's supporting where, and just kind of doing that in the very beginning. It just is going to make things so much smoother, way less stressful.
00:33:14
Speaker
And as always, i mean, hire a planner. Always. Cheers. All right. Cheers.