Understanding the Hero Trap
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When your creative drive turns into a mission to help everyone else, you might be caught in the hero trap. This episode explores what happens when vocation becomes inflated with pressure and hero energy, and how to reclaim a grounded, joyful sense of calling that doesn't depend on your strength.
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Hello, welcome back to Be Made Do, a Soulmakers podcast, where we explore what it takes to live out your call in the arts with spiritual wholeness and creative freedom. I'm your host, Lisa Smith, here with my producer, Dan ABH.
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Hello, everyone. And it's our passion to encourage you to become who you were created to be, make what you were created to make, and do what you were created to do.
What are Vocation Traps?
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So this season on the Be Make Do podcast, we're exploring what we're calling the vocation traps. Sneaky little mindset detours that can derail your sense of purpose.
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And I think all of us get stuck in at least one, probably many of these traps at different times. I certainly have. And we've created this series just out of our own experience, research, talking to artists, because we feel like this is something that can really derail pursuing your calling and feeling fulfilled.
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So identifying them, being aware of them and what's behind these traps can help us get unstuck and hopefully stay unstuck for good. So previously we talked about the security trap and the happiness trap.
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In this episode, we're gonna continue our quest by examining the hero trap. Now, this one's for all the doers, the dreamers, the world changers, the I just want to make a difference, people.
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If that's you, you're in good company and maybe a little tired. and know how you feel because I can be right there with you. So let's talk about why we feel like we have to save the world with our work and why that pressure is crushing and how we can trade it for faithfulness and freedom.
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All right, let's do it.
Tools for Identifying Vocation Traps
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You know what's really great about the Vocation Trap Tracker tool that we've created for this season? Not only does it have a way of tracking which traps you might be getting stuck in, and not only does it have a workbook where you can explore how to make the mindset shifts and bust through those traps to freedom, in addition, we've included bonus material, like biblical stories of people who have been called by God, but who have also struggled with some of the vocation traps.
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and looking a little bit at their story and some questions and thoughts for reflection on how they learned and grew into who God created them to be, just like you. So be sure to check out the Vocation Trap Tracker and download it at our website, soulmakers.org slash bemakedo, or you can find the link in the show notes.
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So Lisa, what is the Hero Trap? All right. So for each of these traps, we've defined it using a question. For the security trap, the question was, what am I called to do for others?
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For the happiness trap, it was, what am I called to do for me? And for the hero trap, it's, what am I called to do for them? So the hero trap is an over-reliance on your own abilities to affect change for them and an under-reliance on God's strength and timing.
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So in the trap, the them is particularly vague because it's for them whether or not they asked you to, right?
Recognizing the Hero Trap in Yourself
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you're not really, this isn't an individual.
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You're starting to see people you serve not as complex individuals living complex lives. Instead, they can become ah monolith they with a monolith problem,
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that you are bound and determined you can fix, help, or solve if everyone would just listen to you and get out of the way. I've never done this before. Of course, serving others is an important part of call.
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There's no disputing that. But we find ourselves in the hero trap when we're overly focused on the do part of calling and neglecting the be and the make. It's when we're feeling stressed and frustrated by lack of results that we get a hint that we're we're in the hero trap.
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This really reminds me of like the archetypes, like for instance, the soul healer, some of the soul healer issues. Yep. Yep. I think this can definitely be a trap for soul healers, prophetic critics, imaginative visionaries, even storytellers.
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Yeah. That's, that's something to keep in mind as we're going through these traps of looking at your archetype and whether or not there are some of the things that line up here and that would help identify if this might be a trap that you might kind of need to watch out for.
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Right. And for those that don't know the archetypes, go to our website in our show notes and take that archetype quiz right after this podcast listening. Yeah. Great way to figure out what motivates you and get crystal clear on what you but really is soul filling for you instead of soul killing.
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All right. So let's talk about how you might know if the hero trap is something you need to look out for or maybe someplace where you're stuck right now. Do the questions that you're asking yourself when you're thinking about calling sound like, how can I make a difference?
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Or what can God do through me? Or what is my mission? Now, those those questions sound innocuous. Those are common questions that we ask when we think about calling.
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But if those are the things that keep kind of rolling around in your head, Just like the other traps, watching out for the I and the me and the my is important. How much of a focus is there?
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Because we know God is using you to make a difference in the world, wherever you are, what you're doing. We know that God is working through you already. You know what your mission is to glorify God and to um share the gifts that you have in the world and to show up and be present in a Christ-like way wherever you are.
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So we know these basic things. These questions are kind of complicating it in a little bit and making it, we have to ask ourselves, am I really asking ah bigger question or am I really focusing on me and something else is going on here?
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Does that make sense? this is This is the subtlety that I'm trying to highlight in this vocation trap exploration is finding that we can ask these bigger questions, which sound like we're really serious about our call, but they're actually getting us distracted and stuck because what's really going on here is fear.
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So I want to help us identify if some of these traps are things we need to pay attention to. so Okay, so maybe those questions are a little too, that's that's something to unravel and ah in a deeper space after you've listened to the podcast.
How to Overcome the Hero Trap
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But maybe here's a more immediate way that you could check in with yourself. See if any of these items are items you could check off on your list. Do you ever feel like you're constantly overwhelmed by the need to do more?
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Do you feel guilty when you need rest? Do you measure your worth by your results? Do you secretly believe that if you don't step up, things will fall apart?
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Are you afraid that your work won't matter unless it's huge? So for some of you, that might not be an issue at all. For others of you, i know there are heads nodding like this because I i know a lot of people like me who kind of fit into some of these categories.
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So again, each of the vocation traps gets you stuck because of where it asks you to gaze, what it's distracting you from. In the happiness trap, you get stuck looking in the mirror. You're constantly checking in with yourself and asking, what will make me happy?
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Is this the life that that I was meant to live? In the security trap, you're looking all around at other people to see if they're nodding in approval. Yeah, you're getting it right. In the hero trap, you're constantly checking your own muscles.
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You're comparing your work, your skills, your achievements against others to see if you've got what it takes. And you're also making up bottom lines all over the place.
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So in in the hero trap, maybe it's not monetary bottom lines, like maybe that would be in the security trap, but it's more focused on the impact your work is having. How does it move people?
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How did what I create move people? How are people receiving what I've put out there? How is it helping or changing people? Am I seeing the impact on them?
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Right? And again, we're talking specifically within a Christian framework of calling. So I'm not talking about building your artistic business, right? There are obviously goals that you want for those kinds of things.
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And I'm not telling you not to dream big, that you are cannot make a difference in the world or that you shouldn't care about others. That's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is that as a Christian, when we think about calling, for some of us, we can start to feel like, oh, I'm I'm not sure if I'm really fulfilling a call because I'm just painting these paintings of the cityscape or landscapes or animals or portraits or whatever.
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Like it doesn't have a specific message that's leading people to Christ or or that's comforting people in a specific way or that's educating them about something.
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Is that enough? Or I'm not changing the world in any way. Is that enough? Or maybe I do have a passion for something to change in my neighborhood, but all I have is just this little drama group and we just do these little plays and like we make people laugh and stuff, but it's not political or whatever. I mean, as a Christian, aren't I supposed to be doing something that's that's evangelical or mission-oriented or ministry-oriented?
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Those kinds of things. Those are the distracting questions. And I do see it a lot with younger people, especially like college-age kids, like Should I go into music ministry or should I go into whatever ministry or can I just do my art?
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And what I'm saying, long-windedly, what I'm saying is that there is no such thing as just doing your art as a Christian. Our entire lives are to be soaked in this reality of Jesus and the reality of God and what it means to be human within that context.
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And then whenever and however we use our gifts in service honoring the gift itself, honoring the gift that God has given us, putting it out in the world, that is something that then God can use in a variety of ways, and we don't have control over it.
Balancing Service and Avoiding Burnout
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So worrying about the impact or the trying to control it is a waste of time because you don't have control over it. So if you are making people laugh, I guarantee you that at least one performance out of a year's worth of performances, somebody in that audience needed that laugh in a life-saving way.
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You know what i mean? Like that piece of art that that shows the landscape in a way that just makes your heart want to be there is filling somebody's soul and God is just amazing in the way that he uses our work and he partners with us to fill thousands of needs that we just don't even know that are there.
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And so when we get distracted by whether or not it's impacting people, distracted from actually just making the work and showing up in a fully complete, alive, joy-filled way,
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then we're shortcutting what God can do. It's the distraction that's keeping us from fulfilling our mission, not anything else. I really relate to everything you just said. Yeah. Longwindedly.
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Hey, why use one word when you can use 10? Yes, of course. I, um, yeah, I, it makes me think that this goes back to like, I have these ah less thoughts now about it, but I, you know, am I an artist? Am I really an artist? Am I more of a coordinator in the art field? you know what i mean?
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And i kind of just stopped worrying about it because I'm just like, I know what I'm good at and I know what ah the things that I do in the circles that I am in accomplish things.
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So just stop, just stop it. just I don't even think about it anymore. But I will say i definitely fall into this trap, especially in like a creative coordinating type of way, you know, whether it's doing this podcast or working on an album with my band or whatnot, where I feel responsible of making sure everything goes smoothly, whether that's endless amounts of resources or resources that I need to get or making sure everybody is doing X, Y, and Z. And then when those things start to maybe fall apart, then I feel like a failure.
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Then I start questioning, should I be doing this? Maybe I shouldn't be doing this, you know? Yeah, that's a great example of just how it plays out in real life. Yeah, I think where I get caught up is serving and feeling overwhelmed, if that makes sense.
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And I'm wondering, asking for a friend here, wondering what the line is between serving and feeling overwhelmed. Yeah, that's where we kind of get into the dangerousness of these traps. And that's that's why, that's a big part of why we're doing this podcast, that it is geared towards artists who are coming from a Christian perspective. Because I think there are some very specific places we get tangled up because of that intersection, because of the ways that conversations have gone around this.
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So serving people is good, right? That's what we're called to. We've already talked about in the happiness trap. If it's all just about me and what I want to do and expressing myself, then it's not it's it's too inward focused and not outward focused, then it's not complete. Right?
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So we are called to serve people. We are even called to self-sacrifice. So like you asked, where is the line? And I think that line is really blurry because in our culture and in Christian culture, maybe even specifically, we actually reward people for being busy and worn out.
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That's something that we struggled with at Convergence a lot is trying not to reward that, you know, oh, I'm so tired. I work so hard, you know, to not make that the culture. And still, we fall into it all the time.
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Culturally, it's an admirable thing to be busy, to be overly committed, those kinds of thing. But the thing is, it's not a God thing. It's the ah opposite of what God calls us to.
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what we are doing is relying too much on our own abilities and forgetting to trust god's strength believing that we have to do it all and not trusting god's strength means not observing our limitations not observing rest not observing okay i've done what i can do now i need to let it go not observing, this isn't perfect in my view of perfect, but maybe I can just trust that God's going to fill in the gaps there or something. you know these are like It takes rest, it takes prayer, it takes time in community with other people who are in rest and prayer to be able to discern when it's time to say, no, this is something I need to push on a little bit and this is something I need to let go.
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Like that's discernment. This is, this is like going way back to the wise hearted ones. It's wisdom. And it takes time to develop that wisdom and knowledge, which is what we're inviting all of our, our soul maker listeners into is to take that time to focus on becoming who you were created to be so that you have the discernment skills to know, okay, I'm getting into this trap. I need to step back.
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And there are other tools that I can use. Because this this idea that we we have to do it in our own might, in our own strength, not give up is really leading to this false sense of humility that I'm just giving so much of myself.
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And that is different than faithful risk. That's different than, okay, it's time for me to like put some muscle behind it All right, somebody who's operating out of like the hero trap is starting from this place of focusing on that end result, on that impact, where anything but complete success will just equal failure in your eyes.
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And then to accomplish that, we do eat one of two things. Either you focus on your own strength and abilities instead of God's strength and timing, thinking you have to do it all yourself and make it all happen,
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And when we're working from that place, it's easy to make all kinds of bad, quick decisions and mistakes because also at the same time, we think we're the only one who knows anything. um But on the flip side of that is actually being hindered by our perceived inadequacies.
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So either feeling like I've got this, I can do it, I'm the only one who can. and then when you hit that roadblock, when you kind of get into the trap and you're like, oh my gosh, I don't know if I can. I don't know if I have the ability to do this. I don't know if I'm going to be able to lift this huge boulder. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this. Then we get stuck.
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And this and that place, we're slow to take action or accept responsibility. And we just stay kind of curled up in this ball, feeling stuck and guilty and ashamed that we can't do these things that that we feel like we should be able to do.
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in both of those cases, we're not relying on God's strength and timing. We're relying on our own strength. And this is not the way that God invites us to operate. So you can imagine like being in that space is just setting yourself up for constant frustration and disappointment.
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And then over time, just like any of these traps, it leads to depression and burnout, hasty decision-making, rash actions. When we're over-identifying with being the solution, we're tempted to stop listening to the Spirit.
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We stop collaborating with God. We stop collaborating with other people. We stop asking for help. And we start treating our our work like it's a burden instead of a gift.
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This is very common, I think, when people hit that burnout. And i I can, I mean, I know both you and I have definitely have felt this
Personal Experiences with the Hero Trap
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way. And it's so easy. It's so easy because, I'll speak for me.
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I'm relying so much on what I can control And I mean, but for instance, right now I'm 100% in this right now, making this album with my band right now. Like we're at like the tail end and communications are starting to like kind of fall apart and we're not really sure what's going on with, and I'm trying to control everything and I'm so burnt out yeah on it because it's been like a nonstop project for the past several months.
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And it's just a really good reminder just hearing you speak is just a really good reminder to just like stop. Yeah. stop. yeah I'm not going to be able to, I can't make someone do something yeah that I want them to do because I think it's the right thing.
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yeah And I just got to give that up for God is going to, the album's going to get done. It may not get done the way I want it to get done, but it's going to get done.
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yeah And most importantly, my parts are done. I'm done. You know what I mean? and i But I mean that like I'm done. i did everything that I needed to do. I don't need to control anything. know what I mean? Because the more I try to control it, the more it doesn't happen and the more um bad decision making I'm going to get into or I'm just going to get fed up or I'm like the point of making something, it's supposed to be fun. Yeah. Yeah.
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Yeah. Remember we were having this conversation. It's like, I don't have fun anymore. i want to have fun doing these things. You know what mean? And so of course, you're going to feel depressed and burnt out because you're not having you're not having fun. Have fun with it. And just wherever.
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I lied to everyone. Every time I asked it's for a friend, it was actually for me. Spoiler alert. What? yeah
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i thought we were really helping this friend out. know. I know. and i but Okay. All right. No, I think everything you're saying is is right on. And that's why we need this constant reminder that this is actually supposed to be... Because life is hard. The challenges come.
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Like bad things happen. There's enough... that we have to fight against, that we don't need to be fighting against ourselves at the same time. It's like we're given these amazing gifts and God's like, do something cool.
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Let's play together. we're like, okay, but what do you want me to make? And how does it go? And I think you know it's got to be perfect because it's for God. And God's like, on.
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I just, let's just play, you know, like this is joyful. This is fun. Enjoy it. Yeah. So let's take a look at what's going on behind the hero trap. Cause as with all of these things, what's really happening is fear.
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We're masking it with all this other stuff, but it's fear. So what are the specific fears that's happening or what's kind of happening in this hero trap? You know it when you're starting off on a project, you've got an idea, you start off with an excitement, an idea, a passion, a cause.
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You go all in, you work hard, you sacrifice, you show up in every way imaginable. And then eventually it gets hard. Things don't change fast enough.
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You don't get the results you were looking for. Problems arise. People don't respond how we hoped. We get frustrated, discouraged, exhausted, probably really annoyed with other people.
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And we start to doubt ourselves. And then we start to wonder if this was really a good idea to begin with. And then we start to wonder if we're even really called to do this at all. Then we start questioning our own calling and our worth.
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And then we just repeat the cycle over and over. It just becomes a loop. And that's the burnout cycle. And I think it is especially painful creative for creatives because our work is so personal. it's It's not just output.
Shifting Mindset from Success to Faithfulness
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We're not just making something to go, you know, for people to just drive or whatever.
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it We're putting out our heart. So when our work doesn't change the world, we really wonder if we failed, if something internally inside of us is not good enough or not worth anything.
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But when you take on that mentality that you have to save others, that responsibility is just too much. It's overwhelming. When it's up to you, the pressure builds because the question is, like where does it end?
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It's never enough. You can never do enough or serve enough or fix enough. There's always more problems and tasks and hurdles and challenges. Often you can then get yourself in over your head trying to help beyond where you're really gifted or experienced or skilled, and you start to do work that isn't yours. So in the back of your mind, you're always just battling these doubts and fears that like, what if I'm not as capable as I thought I was? what if What if I can't overcome my inadequacies? Like what if people find out I'm an imposter?
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What if I fail? What if, what if, what if? And these are killers to creativity.
00:24:38
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So again, just like with the other traps, what we're talking about is making a mindset shift, shifting our gaze off of our own muscles back towards God, And here's the better question that you can ask rather than like, what is my mission? And you know, all of those other kinds of things.
00:24:54
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What if the point isn't to change the world, but just to be faithful in the part of the world that's right in front of you? Going back again to that question about serving versus burnout, serving is supposed to come out of an abundance and overflow of God's love, God's gifts and power.
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through us. And burnout comes from trying to do it in our own power without the humility to believe that we need to be filled with the grace that comes from something greater than us.
00:25:24
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And I was just thinking about this, that I'm starting to think about spending time with God or like filling up with God, like filling up the gas tank but instead of like filling up when I'm almost on empty, like I have a car that that I've driven forever.
00:25:42
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It stops, the gas gauge stops working at a quarter of a tank. So after the quarter of a tank mark, you don't really know how much gas is in there. So we always fill it up at halfway just to be sure. And I'm thinking about filling up with God kind of in that same way, instead of like waiting until I'm empty or almost empty,
00:26:01
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I feel like my rule needs to be I can never get below two-thirds of a tank. Like I can never be more than a quarter of a tank not full. Yeah, because like how could I ever think that I could operate on half a tank of God, right? Like it needs to be full.
00:26:17
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And this takes us back to the introduction episode of the Vocation Trap series where we were talking about the freedom of improvising in Act 4 of an Act 5 play. We don't have to behave as if we're in the fifth act of the play tasked with bringing this story to a triumphant finish.
00:26:35
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We are not the creators and finishers of God's story. We are free not to be the hero. There's another great book that I think I've mentioned in this series before called The Drama of Christian Ethics by Samuel Wells, and I'll link that in the show notes too.
00:26:50
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But there's this quote, again, about that five-act drama that's been just transformative for me. He writes, the five-act drama in its epic dimensions means that Christians are spared such a crisis.
00:27:02
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They are not called to be effective or successful, but to be faithful Faithfulness is but effectiveness measured against a much longer timescale.
00:27:14
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I love that. We are not called we're not called to be effective. We're not called to be successful. We're called to be faithful. And faithfulness is but effectiveness measured against a much longer timescale beyond our lifetimes.
00:27:29
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Since Act 3 has happened and Act 5 is to follow, Christians can afford to fail. Because we trust in Christ's victory and in God's ultimate sovereignty, their faithful failures point all the more to their faith in their story and its author.
00:27:46
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Christians find their character by becoming a character in God's story. They move from trying to realize all meaning in their own lives to receiving the heritage of faith and hope of glory.
00:27:59
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We're invited to fail. I love that idea of faithful failures. So faithfulness, not as a small version of success, but faithfulness is a radical, courageous way of life.
00:28:15
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Faithful looks like creating even when you're not sure it will make a difference. creating and serving with joy even when it's hidden. Faithfulness looks like resting because your worth doesn't come from your output.
00:28:31
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Faithfulness looks like trusting that your small yes matters in God's hands. You see the difference? Like it's chasing an end result versus being committed to that, again, daily task, daily act of being faithful to develop the gifts and talents that we've been given so that we can be, make, do, right?
00:28:52
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It's everything that we talk about. So that's the hero trap, the trap that tells you it's all up to you, that your worth is in your impact. But we see over and over again in the Bible that it's not about our strength, it's about our surrender, our availability, not our perfection.
00:29:11
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It's about relying on God's strength and it's so awesome to finally embrace the reality that you don't have to be the hero. You don't have to be the savior. You're not the savior. You're a witness.
00:29:24
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You're a vessel, a participant in God's unfolding story. And you don't need to do everything. You just need to be faithful to using and exploring and developing and giving away the gifts and the talents that God has given you.
00:29:42
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That's all. That's all there is to it. Simple, but not easy. Just like all the good things.
Engaging with the Community on Vocation Traps
00:29:50
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So thanks for joining us for this conversation about the Hero Trap.
00:29:53
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We have linked in our show notes the wise-hearted ones and a link to our archetype quiz and to all those great articles and books that I mentioned in the podcast. If this helped you, please consider sharing it or leave us a review.
00:30:04
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But most importantly, just keep coming back. Thanks for listening. Hey, thanks for listening to Be Make Do this week. If this episode sparks something in you, we'd love to continue the conversation on Instagram.
00:30:17
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Find us at Be Make Do Podcast. Comment on our latest posts with your biggest takeaway. Let's connect and hear what vocation traps might be tripping you up. All links for this episode are in the show notes.
00:30:28
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Until next time, keep being, making, and doing.