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Healing Through Breathwork and Microdosing: Trauma-Informed Practices with Ry
13 Plays2 days ago
In this bonus episode of Shine On You, we’re joined by the incredible Ryanna Battiste from @embodied.microdosing, a trauma-informed somatic healer and potent channel that reminds us of our innate ability to move through the challenges when connected to the power of our breath.
Let’s literally breathe together in this special episode with Ry—she takes Renee through specific beginner breath pattern to ground and reconnect with your body anytime, anywhere.
We get to know Ry on a personal level, her upbringing and the wisdom she brings to the room is palpable.
Enjoy this transformative conversation and check Ry out on IG @embodied.microdosing for her Sunday breathwork church, ceremonies and group offerings.
We get into our shared experiences with microdosing 🍄 for the mental health benefits, enhancing relationships, and supporting ancestral healing.
Drop into this lively and expansive conversation with Ry 💖✨
Transcript
00:00:04
Speaker
hi re Hi. I'm so glad we're in the same space at the same time together today. It worked out for us to connect. It's exciting. I love that. I know you mentioned that we could do a little breath work sure to start. And I think that would be yeah a really great way for me personally to drop in. And for listeners, if you're able to do this safely wherever you are in your your world and your day, please join us. But would you mind just kicking us off with a little ya breath I love it. Yeah, you can even do this in the car. I know how many people listen to podcasts in the car. So we're going to practice the physiological sigh or the three part breath. And all that is, is a double inhale through the nose. You're going to fill mostly up on the first inhale and then top it off on the second one and then exhale from the mouth. I make that exhale nice and long. Yeah. All the way to the bottom. Go ahead and do that again.
00:01:05
Speaker
Beautiful, just like that. If you want to continue the breath at your own pace, at your own depth, at your own speed, this breath pattern is amazing for feelings of activation. If you identify as having anxiety, if you're in traffic and you start to feel that energy rising, if your teenager is mouthing off to you, right? This is the breath.
00:01:35
Speaker
And you can almost sigh at the end when you exhale like a sigh of relief. That's it. Yeah, yeah i do you feel that? Yeah, let's do two more. OK.
00:01:53
Speaker
Thank you. I love that feeling. That's that so simple. What did you notice?
00:02:01
Speaker
I noticed I felt more in my body than I did when we first started because I get all excited and all the energy rises up to my head. Totally. Yeah, it dropped you down into your physical experience. And when we're talking about healing trauma or healing anything, primarily what's happened for people is that they've dissociated from the body, right? The body's where we feel pain. The body's where we experienced abuse. The body is where we feel the uncomfortable sensation of emotions, which physical abuse or not, sexual abuse or not,
00:02:31
Speaker
being a human and having feelings is deeply uncomfortable. It is. And the the disconnect from the the body and being in the head, being, ah you know, even I would say i I do tend to be a person that flies out of their body. Sure. Your energy goes up. Yeah. Yeah, up and out. And it's a really good time until it's not. And it does kind of almost work as a coping mechanism where like I'm somewhere else as opposed to feeling those things that you're speaking to in
00:03:03
Speaker
Yes. And look, thank goodness for that, right? We survive amazing things and take care of ourselves and stay safe by developing these coping mechanisms. We need them. You were a smart little girl by learning how to go up and out because you weren't taught or given the tools for how to go down and in. Right. So I feel like that's primarily what my life assignment is and what I've been assigned for my work here is to um my connection is primarily to the earth and I go down. i love Yeah. and And help bring people down into the body. I mean, just noticing your butt in the chair, right? It's like, we don't have to do some crazy meditation. Like, can you just, in this moment, wherever you are, whoever is listening, notice your butt. Right. Right. Just feel how it's pressing into the surface below you. Feel how gravity is assisting you. and
00:03:53
Speaker
feeling the weight of your own body. You can even notice your feet and your toes, the way they feel in your shoes or socks or on the ground. And that simple little trick in any situation when you're starting to notice that like, I'm evacuating my experience now. back Where are my feet? Where is my butt? Where is my crotch? right Like go down and go deep. Find that route.
00:04:16
Speaker
One thing that I learned through why I gravitated towards yoga, I think, is that I was not breathing, quote unquote, correctly. I was reverse breathing almost my entire life where I thought on the inhale, i you were supposed to pull in. Ooh, yeah, yeah. I don't think, from talking, like even my daughter was like, mom, you're supposed to, she didn't realize either that you're supposed to press your belly out. And I think that it also comes from trying to be,
00:04:46
Speaker
small. And keep your body small. Tuck that belly in. All these things that we're taught without even realizing how that's impacting us in our breathing. Wow, amazing awareness. I feel like I feel like we're all just realizing how much we've held our breath. And and again, what a coping mechanism that is. There's actually some studies around people's breathing patterns when they're answering emails and they're like not breathing, right? Email breath. It's like really shallow and up there. And then of course we start feeling that stress response kicking in and our body is asking for oxygen. And then we go into panic or go into, I need to eat some food or I need to find some way to ground myself when the first thing we need to come to learn and practice is where is my breath and am I in my body and just
00:05:37
Speaker
offering that, whether it's that three-part breath we just did or just a simple one inhalation through the nose. and let the belly go out, let the Buddha belly come and one exhalation from the mouth. So I was thinking about this question prior to meeting you. I feel like when I sit down with people, it's really interesting because their higher self and my higher self have a total offline conversation before we enter the room together. right I've come to have this experience validated so many times. And I feel like my higher self was asking you to talk about and speak to
00:06:11
Speaker
When you are breathing, are you supposed to be consciously paying attention to your breath more than not? Or when are you supposed to let it be flowing and natural? like I guess the breath work, quote unquote, work of it. Is that supposed to always be happening? Or are we supposed to be relaxed and just in this rhythm once we've learned it. Great question. okay No one's has ever asked me that before. My um intuition is saying that ah we want to bring our consciousness to it, our awareness to the breath when we are out of alignment with our breath.
00:06:52
Speaker
And once we find that rhythm for ourselves, once we begin to practice it, yeah, let that shit flow. like Just be in and of the breath. when When you found the rhythm, now, when I first started consciously breathing, it felt like every 30 seconds, I was like, oh my god, I'm holding my breath again? I just went through this 30 seconds ago. Exactly. That's kind of probably what led me to that question. Yeah, the work of breath work isn't just The effort moving air. Yeah, it's your intentional awareness of your embodiment of how your most primal, most essential function of your body to literally keep you alive, right? You are bringing life in on every inhale and you are dying a little death on every exhale, right? You are letting go on every exhale. So being in that cycle over and over again is life. It's it. It's the whole thing.
00:07:43
Speaker
right our first breath and our last breath and all of the ones in between. The question is too, how conscious do you want to be of your breath? right Some people are get nervous and scared once they're aware of their breath. Well, to that point, I have avoided a lot of different breath work because I do tend to be on the anxious side yeah and I've had just little glimpses of how certain breath work can make you kind of more, oh yeah, activated up into the head and it almost makes me feel out of control. yeah You know, surprise, surprise everybody. I don't like feeling out of control. Who does? I know, but I'm like, you know, a little bit of a clinger, right? Okay.
00:08:22
Speaker
how do you work with somebody like me? Where do you start? ah Oh my gosh, I love this question so much because first and foremost, I do not ascribe necessarily to the style of breathing where you ah coach someone to hyperventilate to the point where they feel unsafe. i think there There's some of that out there. Oh, there's a lot of that out there. Polytropic breath works, psychedelic breath work. I think it's brilliant. And for a certain type of person, I think it can be extremely effective. That person has to not have too much trauma.
00:08:50
Speaker
to be honest with you and they have to have a pretty regulated nervous system. yeah um I mean, I have seen as a participant in ceremonies like that, people have very traumatic memories come up and the space holder not necessarily even know what to do with someone freaking out in that space. right so Breathwork in those styles is meant to activate and it's meant to move that energy. Trauma-informed breathwork, which is really what I practice, the style that I was taught in by PAWS Breathwork and then have cultivated into my own style that is supremely gentle um and also includes a microdose. So there's other medicines there at work.
00:09:25
Speaker
does not require that we freak the F out in order to have a healing experience. I would prefer that. Thank you. So you're actually my ideal person. You're my ideal person. So there are there's a couple of pieces here. First, we would focus on regulating breath work for you, that three-part breath that you just did. I would invite you to just start doing that in the car, in the shower. I kind of feel like I need it all the time. Is that, is that a? No. There's no wrong. You do. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Your body's like, Oh, okay. This is what regulation feels like. uha That's kind of sexy. it's still Yeah. So inviting that into your everyday day-to-day experience. And then if you were to come to one of my group ceremonies, if you were to have a mat and an eye mask and I was to offer you some sacred mushrooms,
00:10:05
Speaker
And we were to take a little bit of that and then take a little bit of the breath. Basically need to micro dose these experiences, yeah right? So to do two things for you. Number one, there would be a little bit of activation with the breath pattern. I would not tell you how to breathe. Like, come on, give me more, harder, faster. There's a lot of that.
00:10:23
Speaker
Do it more, do it more, do it more. Push yourself. right what What the participant is doing is outsourcing their power to the guide. All right, the guide knows my body better than me. I guess I need to push harder. And this is the entire problem with um trauma, right is that we have outsourced our power. And then in healing, we continue to, what's the supplement? What's the healer? What's the advice? What's the podcast? right What is outside of me that's going to fix me? And that is inherently creating more.
00:10:50
Speaker
trauma, in my opinion, right? You are your healer, you're already whole, right? And by coming deeper within yourself and in your body, you get to experience and hear the messages and be in the truth of you and your stuff. That's not my session. I might be guiding it. It's your session. That's your self healing experience. So that's at the heart of what I'm doing. If someone calls me a healer, I'm wildly uncomfortable. You're your healer.
00:11:16
Speaker
I feel that. I'm a guide. I'm a channel. There's a bunch of other names you can call me, but I'm not your healer. Okay. That's very refreshing. It is because I think we went way strong in this outsourcing of, of your authority, your, your intuition, your, yeah. What your sovereignty. Yeah. Your sovereignty because someone at the front of the room is not always, but sometimes on a little ego trip. And they can do fancy things and they want everybody to do the fancy things. And that fancy thing may not be the right thing for you. That. And and're if we're moving away from you know the way religion and politics have programmed us all to be, which is there's a right way and a wrong way, right? And we're supposedly in the spiritual community moving away from that. There is no way I want you.
00:12:00
Speaker
outsourcing anything to me. but So in that session, if you were there lying down with your microdose and your microdose of breath work, I am holding sacred space and inviting you to come to a gentle edge. right We've got to find edges to to do some healing work.
00:12:17
Speaker
um And that can be confusing in the early stages of doing this work. Like, I don't know what my edge is. I'm so used to just pushing myself for perfectionism. right Is Rai proud of how I'm breathing? right I want to show her that I can do a good job. right I'm not looking for that. I'm looking for you to be asking yourself, is this what I need in this moment? Is this what my body needs right now?
00:12:35
Speaker
And you might not have the answer, and it might make you burst into tears. And beautiful. Let's have that moment. Let's be with that emotion. um So I think you're an ideal candidate for the work, actually. And breath work is just one part of a ceremony. So the breath is clearing the energy. It's opening up the consciousness. It's putting you in that suggestive hypnotic space, which is where we heal. So if you're standing in front of your mirror in the morning, and you're getting ready, and you're super stressed about the day, and you're chugging your coffee, but you're going, I have enough. I have enough. You're enough. I'm enough. I'm enough, right?
00:13:05
Speaker
That message isn't really landing, OK, if you're in an activated state. If you don't believe it, we've got to get into that little bit of that hypnotic, more relaxed state for the unconscious limiting beliefs to change in the background, the shit that's running the show.
00:13:20
Speaker
That changes when we're regulated. when you know This is why hypnosis works. This is why energy work works. right This is why EMDR works for trauma. We get into a different place with our brainwaves, and we can receive the new messaging. So the breath work is just a means to get to that place.
00:13:36
Speaker
yeah and Once we're there, then I'm going to guide a meditation where I, for example, invite you to drop a very heavy rock you've been carrying for a long time. and You've carried this rock through the first 20 minutes of the journey and you know the the word on the rock, control, right distraction, anger, fear, whatever that thing is you've been carrying for a long time, whether it was handed to you when you were seven years old without your consent.
00:13:59
Speaker
Pass down intergenerationally or ah you picked it up when you were 21 and had no idea what it was but started to adopt it. I'll guide you to actually releasing that seeing it in your mind's eye. The brain doesn't know if it's really happening or if you're envisioning it. So visioning work is really powerful.
00:14:17
Speaker
And when you're in that hypnotic state, you can release this burden right there in a ceremony, in a ritual. This is what's missing, ritual work, right? This is what we used to do around fires and with our sisters and, you know, in community and in tribe. And then guide you over to a pool of water to jump in there and baptize yourself and claim that you're new, right? I work a lot with the elements. Our bodies understand water and earth and fire and air inherently on a cellular level.
00:14:43
Speaker
And then, you know, at the end of the journey, just getting to lay their palms up and receive like, what does God have for you now? What blessings are here for you? What do your grandmothers have for you? Right, and just people will come out of that and say like, oh my gosh, my mother who passed 20 years ago came and handed me a rose and I felt her love and you know, just the most beautiful things are available to us when we go within and get quiet and let ourselves be vulnerable and ask for that support. Use our words, come in, come in, come in, I need you. Guide me, sacred mushroom, guide me God, guide me Jesus, whatever you believe, it doesn't matter. Right, and then we keep the space clear of
00:15:21
Speaker
Any energies or entities that don't belong, right? Spiritual warfare is real. Keep the space clean. And um that's when the healing magic happens in these ceremonies. That's why I love this work. I love this. so I love your your passion for it. I really do. I feel such a connection to what you're expressing. Thank you. Not just sharing, you're expressing.
00:15:39
Speaker
Well, and you're really listening. You're like going there with me. I'm with you. I'm like, when can I sign up? Yes. Like, do we have a time today? No, I'm just kidding. But the, yeah, but this is, you make me feel so safe um because I, for whatever reason, yeah, sometimes the ceremony type spaces don't really call me, which is interesting because part of our common thread and knowing each other and why everybody was like, do you know Ra? You have to know, have you met Ra yet? Like a year ago.
00:16:06
Speaker
um is because I have been certified as a microdose practitioner with psilocybin. um And I know that is, as you've spoken to, something that you incorporate with your healing journeys and with your rituals. And so it makes sense. But I also too, the other side of that coin is, I i like to be the the leader, but it's so it's harder for me to be in the vulnerable space of yeah of receiving and opening up and I, you know, I appreciate that you're, you're picking up on that, right? It's like, yeah, that could be good. That could be appropriate. I'm right there with you. I would rather be the one talking at the front of the room too. It's much safer and i' and I'm still receiving a healing, right? When people around you are having a healing, it's like the best contact I ever like, give me all your healing vibes and
00:16:58
Speaker
um Yeah, learning how to trust. You use the word safe. You said, I feel safe with you. That is so paramount. it so we're We're literally not healing if we don't feel safe. I can't tell you the people that are saying, yeah, I'm seeing this therapist, but like I don't really jive with them. It's like, oh, no, you're not going to do any healing in that space. you're you're It's completely antithetical. You have to feel safe to heal. So really vetting the guides that you're in community with and in contact with, really doing your homework, asking people,
00:17:25
Speaker
asking to meet, asking, I give a 15 minute free phone chat to any anyone. I'm not asking for your money in that chat. I'm asking for anything. You interview me. What do you want to know about me? Right? Am I the right support person and guide for you? right That's paramount. That authenticity comes through a hundred percent because that that's what it's about is the alignment. And I think it's so interesting that we're in this time of the world um where people are interested and are seeking out plant medicine, ceremony,
00:17:56
Speaker
but it's amazing also to me that people are just like signing up, like going for it, like in big ways, like for, you know, excursions and just going to Peru. And I'm gonna do ayahuasca 16 nights in a row. I'm like, I know. And and but yeah, I don't know. For me, I'm like, oh no, like I need to feel safe. I need to feel really, this is one area where I'm not, I don't want to take that adventure. And that could be because I actually dabbled with psychedelics at a very young age. oh um Yeah, completely unconsciously, of course. sure And just for the fun of it and that's that kind of thing. So I did have a few experiences with, ah yeah, you know, you grow up in the suburbs of Washington DC where everybody's kind of like latchkey kids and, you know, a lot of parents aren't there and you're like, hmm, older brother, sister can get us there's an eighth of a of, well, it wasn't even shrooms, it was LSD. oh wow Yeah, so I had quite a few experiences
00:18:51
Speaker
early on that kind of scared as LSD it's not I haven't touched it since and I don't think I will but you know it's so funny because I just I'm I think there's a piece of me of course that remembers that that's like you know you don't you don't need that big journey and I haven't ever been called to ayahuasca and I know everybody and their mother is like Not me. No? yeah I'm not called yet. I'm sort of waiting for the knock on the door like, I hope she doesn't come for me. Yeah. But yeah, I always see you in all of this. So is that why you ended up going for microdosing coaching? Because psychedelics intrigued you and obviously behavior change and healing and all of that, but ah little tiny doses? Yes, tiny doses. Sub perceptual is all I'm about. I don't need, and I'm also a very highly sensitive person. I don't need a lot.
00:19:36
Speaker
um to feel something significant in general and I Yeah, I was I was interested in psilocybin specifically, but I didn't again I was not called to take a you know ah a big dose I was not called to go on some weekend excursion. I just wanted to feel better in terms of my mood um lighter, I was looking, I was feeling heavy and quote, you know, ah a level of depression sure creeping in and I was like, I'm not interested in the side effects of um going down a you know pharmaceutical route, been there, done that when I was younger. And yeah, and I just, it happened to to be something that crossed my path at a time where I was like, yeah, I think this is you know intuitively the right fit. yep And when I started to do um
00:20:25
Speaker
you know I mean, small doses. Sure. yeah And tiny. na I called it the nano dose. The nano dose. Yeah, it didn't take much to really feel a significant shift in my mood. And then that, after going on my own kind of um you know integration with that and experience with that for, I think it was about 18 months, I was like, I think and Well, and also, you know, some people close to me also were getting a lot of benefit and it was helping even interpersonally and sure big time in relationship dynamics. The best. Yeah. Yeah. It's improved all of my relationships, for sure. Microdosing.
00:20:58
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. And it's such a big part of life, right? Relationships are what cause a lot of trauma, and we need to be in relationship to heal trauma. Like, it's the biggest, craziest catch-22, right? We don't heal in isolation. We need people. And then it's like, I got people. People make everything hard. And yeah, that is just one of the miracles of microdosing.
00:21:20
Speaker
It really is it really helped a lot and you know and I also I was really happy that we were sitting down today because this is I'm kind of in a hiatus right now and you know Summertime and I'm just like flowing and chilling and doing creative things in my own little world Which is where I love to be actually I'm such an introvert I was so glad that we were gonna sit down today because I need to to get out in front of people or else I will just literally tuck away. i i will just And I'm so happy there. But I also am so enriched by sitting down and speaking with somebody. it's like
00:21:53
Speaker
Oh, this came at the perfect time today. Oh, me too. To sit down, you know. Yeah, sisterhood. Do you tend to be more introverted? I am. I think so. Because you always are on, I see you on Instagram, and I'm like, girlfriend's third chakra's open, and I love it. I'm here for it. I do have stuff to say, yes. I love that. Have you always been that way, or did you kind of, like, open up? Yeah, I was a theater girl. OK, OK.
00:22:13
Speaker
So I'm one of six kids. I'm number two of six and I was one of the quieter ones and one of the more sensitive ones. So um my family dynamic overwhelmed me immensely from a sensory standpoint. I understand this now. I didn't know that then, right? I was crying Ryan. They called me because I was always just sort of like on the verge of tears. It was a lot.
00:22:35
Speaker
Um, and, uh, when I discovered that I could stand in front of a microphone and sing silent night in the church pageant and everyone was like, what a little angel voice. I was like, yes, I am an angel and you're all looking at me. So from six years old, I was really on stage a lot singing, dancing, performing, acting, a lot of Shakespeare, a lot of like heavy drama, and then some fun comedy. I did.
00:23:00
Speaker
theater competitions all through high school and would win awards. It was a very rewarding time in my life. ah Went to Boston University for theater. Did two years there and then moved to New York City to become a rich and famous actress stop by the age of 20. This is the good stuff. This is what I'm here for. Keep going. batered yeah Yeah, moved to Manhattan and just hit the pavement. Got my head shots, auditioned, stood in waiting rooms, did some small stuff. I worked in the hotel industry, too. It's where I ended up meeting my husband. Same. I worked in the hotel industry. Funny. Hospitality. Yeah, there's lots of drugs and alcohol and partying. And trauma and fun to be had. All the crazy people, all the hot people. Exactly. A lot of fun in those New York City years. Danced on some bars and had my fun. What year is this? Did I ask? 99-01. I was living in Connecticut at that same time. No kidding. What part? Right across. Well, so my friend lived in Groton, Connecticut, but I lived in, we would be in Mystic and then we would go up to New York City. That was my era in New York City. It was very brief.
00:24:10
Speaker
It was not as fun as pre 9 11. Yep. yeah Right before I was living um at in that area when 9 11 happened. Oh, wow. Same for you. Oh, yeah. I was in Queens when it happened. Yeah. yeah And ah yeah, that was very traumatizing early trauma for all of us, I think um to beat. I was 21, 22. Yeah. Okay. Same.
00:24:30
Speaker
And um yeah it was actually after 9-11 where I started to feel like there's more to life and the industry felt really shallow. um I was really uncomfortable in some of these waiting rooms where girls were sort of just sizing each other up. I was you know clearly 15 pounds over the weight of who I was sitting next to at all times and I didn't care but I understood at 21 like I don't really want to have an eating disorder to do this. Like I don't want to have any disorder. I don't want to perform sexual acts for parts, which was happening with some folks that I knew and worked with. And it was like, I'm good. I don't think this industry is really reflective of me. So I decided I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to, my husband and I were serious at that point. We wanted to get married.
00:25:13
Speaker
So we got married and moved to North Carolina. 20 years ago to Wilmington. Oh, you were an early adapter to moving to Wilmington. In 2005, it was like, yeah, it was blowing up here. Mayfair had just been built. It was like, this town is awesome. And I went back to school and went to UNCW and I ended up finishing my degree in communication studies and psychology, which was just sort of reflective of my interests. And then I had a baby who had food sensitivities and I felt sick and that just opened the door to the body and healing. and treating myself well and that rolled into you know wanting a spiritual life. and
00:25:48
Speaker
I was going to say, when did the spiritual... Yeah, kids will throw you up. I don't know that I love spiritual awakening, but you know what I'm saying. When did that come into play for you? Truly after my second son, when I was in the dark night of the postpartum soul of, yeah, just, I was 37 years old. I thought, well, let's do this again. Let's have another baby. I had an eight year old and I had a business at that time, a really thriving nutrition consulting business. I had an office in town. I taught classes.
00:26:15
Speaker
And um I was thrown into just a darkness like nothing I had ever experienced. I was generally, besides from being very sensitive, wasn't a dark person. I didn't understand that you could feel like you were buried six feet under the ground and were clawing your way up and out with no hope. Yeah, such despair. um So i I thank God had a friend who handed me a little spice jar filled with ground psilocybin mushroom. And she said, you just need to take a little bit every couple of days. This was like 2016. There was nothing online.
00:26:49
Speaker
I was like, OK, I'd never done psychedelics in my youth. I was drawn to uppers and alcohol and you know ecstasy and all of that. But I always thought, oh my gosh, I will totally be the girl in the corner like poking my eyeballs out with a pen. you know like I'm not a candidate for something that out of control. I'm already a little out of control. right So I just trusted her, and I trusted that I needed something. And so I took it, and the very first day I took it,
00:27:12
Speaker
i so I like to say it was like my world went from black and white to color. That's a great way of putting it. Just could see. It was like lines were crisper, colors were brighter. I felt like just the twinge of hope in my heart. I mean those 5H2A receptors, that serotonin boost. That's real. That's real. It's real.
00:27:32
Speaker
So I felt it, luckily, the first time. I know some people need to keep dosing to get to that place, but i I needed that lifeline so badly. And then I dabbled and just developed a relationship with the fungi friend for two years, just on my own in my own private time and in my own space. you know I had a Sunday afternoon to myself. All right, let's see what one gram feels like. Let's lay on the back portion.
00:27:53
Speaker
Say a prayer and look up at the trees and see what needs to happen now. And reconnect to yourself. And to like end to my emotions. it's really when i That was the spiritual awakening was, oh, not only am I allowed to cry, and it's healthy to cry, and this is part of being human, I am not going to open up to bliss or joy or connection or anything that I want until I move through this ocean of emotion.
00:28:18
Speaker
It's on the other side of the grief. And it it it exists in tandem with the grief. like i can't You can't selectively block emotions. right You can't just say, I'm just not going to feel grief, but I'm going to feel bliss. it's not It doesn't really work that way. At least it didn't for me. right right So when I open that floodgate to experiencing myself as a human with emotions and stop trying to numb, avoid, escape, right all of the things we do, right I immediately stop drinking alcohol. but My body immediately started to reject it.
00:28:48
Speaker
Like mushrooms and alcohol? No. They don't really go together, right? No. i'm I haven't drank in I don't know how many years. I have no desire. Bless. That's awesome. i just don't It just doesn't do anything for me. Me neither. It was making me sick at that point. yeah So when I made that decision, there was a clear up leveling that happened because I was having my Tito's vodka and you know soda with lime every night.
00:29:10
Speaker
Of course, I have two kids and a business and life is stressful and I need my Tito's, right? What we do was blocking so much for me. So that happened around the same time that I started seeing an ah ancestral lineage repair guide. It's a very specific school of ancestral healing. And she was guiding me into these deep spaces, these meditative spaces where She was inviting me to call in guides and grandmothers and grandfathers. And it was like the first time that I was really working with my intuition. And you know, I'd like open one eye and say to her, am I just making this shit up or is this happening? And she's like, no, it doesn't matter. Keep going. like right You are, but like you're making it up through your divine channel. like It's all real. right So when I really awoke to the power of being in sacred space,
00:29:55
Speaker
Hauling on ancestors, I would go to these sessions with a little microdose in my system. That's when it was like, oh, game on. like I can bring any burden. I can bring any burden and lay it down at the altar of my healing. And I can say, show me the way. Please show me the way. Is this someone you're comfortable telling us who they are? Are they local? Sure. Her name's Alison Lanier. She's very gifted. You're welcome to link to her in the show notes. She's in Wilmington. Yeah, she's a wonderful guide. I think she only does group work now in certain seasons. She's also a writer. but feel free to link to her. She's incredibly gifted. And this whole lineage that she's trained in, Daniel Four is the guy um who trains an an ancestral lineage repair. And you work through one line at a time. So I started with my mother's mother's line. I spent four years there just on my mother's line. Like all you have to say is what, you know, who are the well and wise ancestors on your mother's mother's line and just take a deep breath and say, come in. And it's like,
00:30:47
Speaker
Oh, hair's up on the back of the neck. Oh, there's my grandmother's spirit right here. i Yeah, I feel my my the presence of my ancestors very strongly. And what does that do for you when you feel that? I feel love from them, but this is also the ones that I've had a relationship with. So there is that baseline there. Sure, the memory, the cellular memory yeah in your body. Beautiful.
00:31:07
Speaker
Yes, however, yeah yeah however, however, I am very aware of what has been suppressed and what is under the surface and what I yeah had no idea was going on and in the line. Yeah, until really recently. And are you a cycle breaker? Are you here to do the work on this line? Yes, and um part of me who wants to pull the covers up. Sure, that's intimidating shit. And holding that space of being a mother to ah you know also intense sensitive children that are also here to disrupt things and shake things up. So it's like you almost feel it on both sides and it gets in there. So it's it's definitely part of what I'm slowly and
00:32:00
Speaker
easing into unpacking. yep And I have done some interesting work with um someone who was on the podcast before this one, Manuela Walton. And she works a lot with um ancestral curses. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's real. Traumas, you know things like that, but also like attend attachments yeah and um she she's interesting. She works with a bruja, like a witch in Mexico. wow This woman's completely under this, you know not in the scene. She doesn't have an Instagram account is what I'm saying. she had you know She's the real deal yeah and she understands how to work with both the light and the dark. And so I would do sessions with Manuela and then she and the bruja would kind of work and shake things up. And i so I do have insight into kind of like some of the things that
00:32:55
Speaker
you know, we, we did do some clearing on, but you know, as you do this work, you clear and then you're like, Oh look, another giant layer level to go deeper. Really? Do I have to go there? Am I the one? No. And no. And so this speaks to nervous system and titration. Okay. Tell me more about that. Yeah. I think that's so important that you named this. First of all, you're not alone in feeling nervous or scared in that realm.
00:33:19
Speaker
um you know I was raised by born-again Christians, so like even using the word ancestral healing around my family is like, what kind of do you do? Are you messing with, don't dance with the devil? And you know it's easy for a part of me to go like, oh, that's so Christian, that's so closed-minded. There is truth to the darkness that you can encounter in some of these realms, and this is why you want to go into these spaces with support and with a guide who is truly holding the space. yes That goes back to that trust and safety piece right first. Second, all of our experiences in healing are meant to be titrated. They're meant to be tempered. We're meant to like take a sip and then put the drink down and digest the sip.
00:34:03
Speaker
Right? ah The vast majority of my work I feel like is cleaning up from someone chugging, healing. OK. there We really have this idea that more is better. Yes, we do. But what about a 9-gram journey? Then will all my problems go away? And it's like, oh, no, you're going to expand so fast that your contraction is going to blow your mind. Right.
00:34:21
Speaker
We are doing this, right? How fast do you want to contract and expand? How resourced are you in that contraction, right? If you are not resourced, if you don't have the personal resources to find home and regulation and earth, you're going to struggle real bad after a three gram or four gram journey with mushrooms, right? Maybe, maybe not. I don't want to make that call. But there's we're meant to take tiny sips. We're meant to titrate.
00:34:48
Speaker
We're meant to digest a little bit at a time. This is the importance of integration, which so many of us don't understand and we get so frustrated by. Well, what is integration anyway? Does that mean more journaling, right? Does that mean more Epsom salt baths? Tell us what is integration for you or to you. It's digesting whatever the experience was that you had when you were in communion with the plant and your breath and your spirit team.
00:35:12
Speaker
Right? Whatever came through. So last night I guided a journey and we had them drop the rocks. And as you know someone dropped a rock that was self-doubt. Right? And it's like, they dropped that rock. They had the experience. They cried. They released it. They're going to go out there and be confronted with their self-doubt again. This isn't magic voodoo where I'm like,
00:35:33
Speaker
You know, surgically taking yourself doubt away in one session. Now you have to integrate that ritual experience, that energetic experience you had, and every time that rock of self-doubt comes up, you have to drop it again, and again, and again, and one time you're not gonna drop it, and then some shit's gonna go down, and you're gonna be in that. And sometimes you're gonna drop it on your foot. Boom. That's what me. Boom.
00:35:56
Speaker
And you didn't do anything anything wrong, right? right he's right but But at that point, someone drops on their foot and they're like, I need more medicine. I need more healing. I need more medicine. I'm messing this up. It's not going well. right right And then we go and we open up more closets and pull more skeletons out. right And then it's like, yeah, I'm integrating so much. My system is overwhelmed.
00:36:15
Speaker
So really, I learned this in the early days of working with the mushroom when it was like, I should do another journey. I should do another journey. And it was like, oh, no, no, no. I should do another lie down and breathe and cry session. I should do some more journaling. Integration is self care. Integration is compassion for yourself. Integration is going on a walk in nature without your phone. Integration is all the stuff that feels kind of boring.
00:36:37
Speaker
Sometimes. It's all making sense now, right? It's more fun to take some drugs. Yeah. And it's I don't know if it's cultural. I don't know if it's human. I don't know if it matters. But um really letting your healing come in manageable, gentle, digestible waves. When when I work with someone who allows that,
00:37:00
Speaker
It's gorgeous. It's stunning. It's so beautiful. It's just um sustainable. Less turbulence along the way. Yeah, there's still some, but it's not those like, I literally can't handle anything. I'm crashing again, and now I have to spend three months pulling myself up and out of this hole. so Little vacillations, little expansion, little contraction. I'm down with that. Yeah? Those ah those those things that that can come up that really shatter the perception of your reality.
00:37:33
Speaker
ah yeah Take that with a grain of salt if you can, right? Like you don't want to go too deep, too far, too quick. Boom. Well, that's the definition of trauma is too much too fast for the system to integrate or for, or not enough or too little of what you needed and didn't get. But yeah, we tend to follow that same template that we grew up with, like more, you know, I was a binge eater.
00:37:57
Speaker
It was all about more and the mushroom taught me real fast. Like I'm a throw brick wall in your face. You know, I had a couple journeys that were. outrageous, like really, really, I was dead, you know? I was in my death. Now I no longer fear death. And it was really hard moving through all of that and necessary, beautiful, and would I change it? No. Did I make a mistake? No, right? It's all happening in divine culture. But you had to wake up and be a human, probably maybe with a kid or maybe not, I don't know. But you had to wake up and function the next day. Integration with a three-year-old is a whole different game.
00:38:33
Speaker
for sure. I really liked what you were speaking about in terms of the postpartum implications and I really like if I could go back and that would be something that you know again the timing wasn't there the whatever wasn't present at that point in my life the awareness wasn't there to do that but I really like I often you know I don't want to make a blanket recommendation but I feel like most women after you have a baby microdosing is something to explore and to potentially you know if you're curious and called to get some support with because wow, that time is, so you know, there's, there's just that's such a raw. Yes. Raw is a great word for it. Yeah. And i I think about, Oh, I completely agree. I get a lot of questions about even pregnancy and breastfeeding and all of that. And of course the, you know, again, not don't outsource your power, really tune into your highest self ask, is this right for me? Is this right for my baby? Is this right for my body? Talk with your partner, all of that. um But
00:39:30
Speaker
I've seen it do so much good for women in that season of life. it It's horrifying how hopeless we can end up feeling. It's not supposed to be the way it is. right We're supposed to have so much more support. We're not supposed to have neurotransmitters that are already kind of messed up when we go into the hormonal place. right so I fully agree. i think um you know I wish I'd even used it before having kids, right if it had been available then. Just the amount of growth. One of my best friends just had her first baby and I'm like, oh God, I wish I had been in that. She's so spiritually awake and evolved. I was so asleep 15 years ago with my first. you know It was mind blowing that shift into motherhood.
00:40:07
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's a beautiful time of life. Honestly, I think for any women, men, I work with men too, it's beautiful, but I just, I see microdosing as such a beautiful tool for women in every season of life. I mean, look at menopause and microdosing, right? Yep. Yep. And it's more of a feminine medicine, you know, more supportive. I feel like it's not like a...
00:40:27
Speaker
you know, harsh, if if done, guided, and intentionally. Especially in small doses. Yeah. So I know, um you know, I appreciate how ah conscientious and researched you are in your approach to microdosing. And can you speak to that? Because that was something that I initially was like, wait a minute, what's going on? She's like, you know, keeping track of people's experiences and Yes, so last year um I had been after serving myself for one and a half years or so I started to be approached by family and friends like what are you doing? Why are you going? You know like what's happening for you? um And I just started to share organically share You know everything that I've been experiencing and that just be really curious about others experiences and what really blew my mind was that Everyone had a slightly different
00:41:17
Speaker
experience. You know, there are some commonalities for sure, less anxiety, happier feelings, easier time connecting with others, but the actual experience of communing with the sacred mushroom was wildly different in some cases, person to person. So I started to track and ask and be curious and um how would you rate that on one to 10, that open your openness you were experiencing. And I guess a little researcher came out and me, I had taken a class um at UNCW called Research Methods. And I remember being really good at it and being like, okay, it is important to actually be able to get this ah quantitative information. there's lot There's always qualitative, right? um And I started to track, I i enrolled 45 participants in a microdosing study. Last year I included breath work because the most results I was seeing was always when somebody combined microdosing with some embodiment. It didn't have to be breath work, but yoga, Tai Chi,
00:42:12
Speaker
like It doesn't matter, even exercise, right? Even some like weightlifting and stuff. Those people really had interesting results too. So it was like dose and get in your body, right? And I'm sure in your program they emphasize that. Yeah. yeah and And I think it's, it does shift the experience positively. Yes. Profound difference. The, I'm just micro dosing and I'm going to continue staring at my computer for 12 hours and my workday and I'm not noticing anything happening. It's like, well, of course you're not noticing anything happening, right? You're literally not in your body.
00:42:39
Speaker
So when tracking these results, I'm still aggregating the data and I'm putting it together as part of a book that I'm writing. ah I just was like jaw to the ground with um the transformational um experiences that people were having, especially in relationships. ok That was the biggest piece. Like one girl in particular wasn't even microdosing around her relationship with her mother. It was around her partner and her mom lived miles and miles away, the plane rides away. And somewhere around the middle of the study, she went to visit mom and was just completely blown away at the level of love and empathy and connection and caretaking. She has this moment of like brushing her mother's hair who was sick when she went to visit her and just feeling like gushing with love, which was not her experience. She would recoil when her mom hugged her, right? So that was the trauma there. But by healing her relationship with her partner, she opened her heart and she softened and something healed in her relationship with her mother. And so reading these, they they would write me a a feedback form every week. That was the highlight of my week going through these feedback forms. I would be like tears.
00:43:47
Speaker
in tears, so I'm including this data um significantly less numbing with devices was happening during the 20 weeks of the study, which I thought was really potent and interesting, how many of us want to stop mindlessly scrolling, but feel like such dopamine monsters, like we can't get enough, right? All of us, everyone will get it. 100%, it's wild. It is, because I feel like a fairly disciplined person generally can be, can turn that on. No, not with the phone. not with the phone Yep. It's mindless real quick. So here's what I love about microdosing and you can tell me if this has been your experience too. We can direct the intention. We can direct the medicine to do what we need it to do. Not in a like abusive way. I need you to heal my relationship with my mom. I offer the sentence stem show me to everyone. Show me what it looks like to open my heart to loving my mother. Show me what it feels like to be in deeper connection with my mom. Show me what I need to know to have a beautiful relationship with my mother, right? Word in any way what you want.
00:44:44
Speaker
but ask the mushroom to show you because psychedelics reveal. And then a little curtain is going to get pulled back, right? And you're going to have moments of awareness, the aha moments of like, uh-huh, I see myself blocking the love right now in this moment. I know exactly what I'm doing. And because I'm in the energy of the medicine and because I know how to use my breath in this intense moment, I'm just going to be with this and be compassionate toward myself instead of why are you blocking love for mom, right?
00:45:13
Speaker
And I'm going to channel the healing. I'm going to channel the message from the teacher that is the mushroom. And then I'm going to go home and maybe I'm going to journal about it. And maybe next time I'm in this situation, I'm going to breathe through that resistance and see what connection feels like. It is. It's so supportive when programmed with with intention. Yeah. Yeah. So you found that too in your experience. Oh yeah. Absolutely. The programming with the intention piece is the biggest thing of conscious.
00:45:37
Speaker
Yes, intentional yes, you know the difference between using it as and getting in the body Boom what we what you what you were saying? Yeah, i I totally agree because I yeah, it's interesting Some people just want to kind of feel a little lift a little like caffeine for the soul. sure You know, it's like, oh, you know, I can deal with whatever, my boss or my life a little better. Yeah, so I'm focusing on my spreadsheet. Yeah. Yeah. And that's all lovely. But I think that it does. You can go deeper into the how it can serve you if you are really paying attention to the ah intention that you're programming into it. And that's been that was really profound for you to see. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:17
Speaker
yeah And I love that you collected all the data. I would be so interested because obviously I'm a curious person. I sit here and I'm like, tell me about this. Tell me about that. But I i love to be able to so really people to share with you in a very systematic way, like this is happening. So I'm brilliant. I mean, I'm so excited for you. i have to come back once i write the you do yes and the world needs that too because there's a lot of um but think there's a lot of you know stories and testimonies and things like that that are gaining popular yeah popularity and you see it and you hear it shbu word of mouth like you know this but you to see something documented like what you're preparing is so rare. There's really not a lot out there. Thank you. Yeah, there isn't for microdosing. Everyone is interested in studying the macro dose, which is amazing. And there are a lot of variables of microdosing. There's a lot of claims that it's all placebo. sure There's a lot of conversation around that.
00:47:10
Speaker
Great. Placebo isn't a bad thing. It speaks to the power of our minds. right that's ah that Many people said in the study, just learning about how to set intentions and starting my day by saying, show me, changed my life. Exactly. Medicine or not. Exactly. right Becoming a more intentional human is part of doing this healing work. You can't do it unaware. You can't do it without that.
00:47:34
Speaker
moment even of reverence and of stillness and a willingness to go within even for two minutes in the morning while you commune with your dose, while you take a few breaths, while you listen to one song, while you write your intention in your journal. It does not have to be a big song in a dance.
00:47:49
Speaker
my language because I definitely like to get in and get out and move on. you know Um, but sometimes I don't actually, sometimes I really do like to journal and and write and just channel and write. But I, I appreciate that. I think it for some people it is intimidating because you think like, Oh, I got to like, you know, even with like meditation and things like that, or like I was feeling with breath work before you gave me some simple tips today. Cause it's like, it feels like a big thing.
00:48:13
Speaker
Totally. Like a big to-do. Sure. Well, my anxiety is so big, the solution must be something really big that's going to require a lot of energy and time and effort. So for the study, their their requirement was 60 minutes of breath work a week, less than 10 minutes a day if they wanted to divide it up per day, or they could come to one one-hour journey per week, which they were given access to. And those who did fulfilled the requirement, microdosed two to five times a week, and did the 60 minutes of breath work per week were the ones who exponentially experienced healing.
00:48:42
Speaker
with and and you don't need to go too deep into this, but is there a specific breath work that you pair with the microdosing like that you could possibly offer or suggest it's not, you know, maybe too much instruction on your end? Sure. Yeah. It's a great question. So I offer four basic breath patterns, that three part breath that we did at the beginning through the nose, being one of them and being a favorite for a lot of people. And the other one being just a simple inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth.
00:49:10
Speaker
All right, that's a baseline breath. That's like a breath we should be teaching every four-year-old in preschool, every three-year-old at home, every two-year-old. Kids need this. Kids love breath work. And one more actually will teach you that I think is incredibly effective, and I'll teach it as if you're a kid so that moms can latch on to this one.
00:49:28
Speaker
and call this the birthday candle breath or the birthday breath. And you get to blow out candles, which everybody loves to do. So it's done all through the mouth. You're inhaling from the mouth and you're exhaling, blowing out the candles as if it's just right here.
00:49:45
Speaker
So you're stressed in traffic, you're in a fight with your partner, your whatever, your ding, ding, ding, ding of your phone is going, right? Just right into, for me,
00:49:56
Speaker
through the mouth, all mouth. Okay. Cause I'm like, I stay away from the mouth breathing. It's slightly activating, okay but I'm going to invite 10 seconds, 10 breaths. Teeny little, right? Remember, titration, little bit of a bite and then hold your breath. So you want to do 10 seconds with me? Okay. In and out of the mouth. I'll count. That's it. Almost there. are Five, four,
00:50:24
Speaker
Three, two, one. Let go, and when you can, pull in through the nose and hold at the top for a moment. And when you're ready to let go, exhale from the mouth and hold at the bottom for a moment. Feel your butt in the chair, feel your feet in your shoes, and start to breathe however your body wants to breathe when you come back. No effort, no work.
00:50:55
Speaker
Feeling your feet, your butt, and your skin.
00:51:03
Speaker
Imagining that you've just released a little bit of that agitation and energy that was taking up space in you. That was lovely. What'd you notice? I could've kept going. I mean, not necessarily with the inhale, exhale out of the mouth because that started to get a little old for me. You got a little shaky. I got a little bit like, okay, I don't wanna do this anymore.
00:51:24
Speaker
But it, but afterward I felt very dropped in. Yeah. And here's the key for someone like you, as you asked earlier, which I think you're a very common spiritual person, like in that activated upper chakra energy, right? These little 10 second bursts are an opportunity to show yourself that you're not going to die if your heart starts racing. And that's not said facetiously. Your nervous system actually thinks you might die if you get activated. Right? Yeah. so You are proving to yourself that you're actually stronger and more capable than your mind and your nervous system want you to believe. That safety mechanism that turns on is not you. That's not your highest self. That's not your true self. That's the primal part of your brain that thinks there's a fucking jaguar in the tree right there. yeah Right? sure That's not you. Thank you for keeping me safe, nervous system. Thank you for letting me know that this room might not be safe. I can feel my feet. I can feel my butt. I can feel my body. And I can use my breath. And I actually am safe. That resilience is so important.
00:52:24
Speaker
And you're building, we build and stretch that window of tolerance breath by breath. I love this so much. I want to spend all day with you. So yeah, those are the people come to your classes and they fill up. So you, are you teaching anything? kind Well, I don't know when exactly this is going to air, but tell me like generally what's your flow with working with people right now.
00:52:45
Speaker
So if you want to work with me on a regular basis, the best way to do that is to join my breathwork membership. okay I do ceremonies, just like what I've been describing here. Lie down, put on a mask, and go to that sacred place twice a month at the full moon and the new moon. That's a $67 a month investment. You're also part of my community. I'm asking you week weekly prompts about your healing. I'm in communication with you, and you have access to the sacred mushroom to use for your healing work.
00:53:13
Speaker
um I love that people are actually at home. Some people are skeptical, like, I don't want to be in Zoom. I want to be in a room with you. And I get it. There's magic in a room. and You close your computer when that's over and you're in your bedroom and your journals right there. It's like, you can integrate right at home. Yep. Um, beyond that, I'm in the Wilmington, North Carolina area about four to six times per year. Uh, I try to come around the equinox and the solstice just to work and harness that energy, which is so fun. Um, I'm here right now for summer solstice. I did six different ceremonies in the last week. They were all sold out with the exception of one.
00:53:45
Speaker
um And it was just beautiful to be in person in that energy. The music is rocking. The energy is moving. I'm using tuning forks to move it from your body while you're breathing.
00:53:57
Speaker
um And it's just an opportunity to microdose these medicines and be your own medicine. Like that's the takeaway message here. The microdosing is a tool. The breath work is a tool, right? You're the actual medicine. You're the essential ingredient. None of those work without you. That's beautiful. I love that. i I really feel like, and I hope that this is imparted today to the listener is I feel so comfortable now I would come to one of those, you know, in person because You know, it can be a little intimidating. A couple of these things, you know, it's like, ooh, what's going on with that? I'm not sure. Yeah, what's going to happen there? Am I going to lose control? Yes, yeah exactly. So for all the people like me, the controllers out there, no, but I love that. And I know that that you have such a following in popularity here and beyond. And this has been a highlight. I'm so, so happy that we got to share this like space in person today.
00:54:50
Speaker
This was the most fun conversation. oh yeah And if I could put a plug for anyone that might know a publisher or a publishing house or anybody that could support my work um with putting the book about microdosing and breathwork out there, I am actively looking for a team to help me. Yeah, just people who can help support that vision. There is so much need for this information. 100% behind that. OK, cool. And yeah, just reach out to me. Like I said, a 15-minute conversation with anybody I'm not going to sell you anything. I just want to connect with you and see if microdosing and breath work would be a fit for you. And, um, thank you. How do they find you on Instagram? My Instagram is where I spend the most time socially. That's journey to heal dot.life. And my website, ryanabattice.com. That is my, my whole name there is going to give you access to me. And, um, every first Sunday of the month, I do something called breath work church. That is my free offering to the world. I will never collect money for that. I don't want to.
00:55:46
Speaker
Um, it's a ministry and I go live on Instagram. I then repost it on YouTube, but that's just ah about a 20 to 30 minute channeling where we just, you can feel ski a little taste, just a taste 10 minutes or so of breath. I do a little bit of a sermon at the beginning. I offer some ideas. A lot of times I offer some somatic touch and something that you can offer yourself beyond the breath. Our hands are so powerful on our own bodies. There's so much that we can do to calm and um support the nervous system. And yeah, that's just a really fun way to come and hang out in the vibe and be in the community. Perfect. We'll definitely link all of that at the show on the show notes to this episode. And I hope our paths cross again. Oh, my gosh. They have to. For sure. For sure. Thank you, Ry. Thank you for being here. What a blessing. Thank you.