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Embracing Simplicity: Personalized Mindfulness in Coaching with Jen Carter
47 Plays6 months ago
This week’s episode of the Shine on You podcast Jen Carter joins us to get personal, sharing her own journey of balancing work, play, and creativity, particularly through the summer seasons. They discuss the transformative power of coaching versus therapy, with Jen detailing her path from a pediatric physical therapist to a relationship and integrative health coach, and how she has woven mindfulness and breath work into her practice.
Discover the unique, playful activities integrated into Jen’s upcoming women's empowerment retreat at Holden Beach. Playful experiences like these, serve not only as a break from everyday stress but also as a vital tool for unlocking creativity and fostering a deeper connection with oneself and others.
Key Takeaways from the episode:
- Engaging in spontaneous play activities can significantly enhance emotional and mental health. Embrace life’s spontaneity!
- Integrating mindfulness and breath work into daily life can create profound changes in how we handle stress and interact with the world. Mindfulness matters!
- Coaching offers a forward-focused, transformational approach that can complement traditional therapy methods, supporting personal growth and self-understanding.
Interested in learning more about Jen Carter's coaching services, upcoming retreats, or workshops can connect with her through her social media on Instagram @jencartercoaching or visit her website at www.jenncartercoaching.com to book a free introductory session.
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Transcript
Introduction to Shine on You Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome beautiful souls to Shine on You, the podcast that dives deep into the realms of modern spirituality, the metaphysical, and the mystical. I'm your guide on this journey, Renee Novello. This is not just a podcast, it's a sanctuary for the open-minded, the curious, and those called to topics that may be, at times, a little out there.
00:00:27
Speaker
Through grounded, heart-centered conversations, we are here to support your next breakthrough into higher alignment and help illuminate the path, highlighting the threads of wisdom that connect us all. We are a community of kindred spirits, a space for belonging, connection, and shared wisdom. This is Shine on You, a podcast where the coastal breezes of Wilmington, North Carolina
00:00:53
Speaker
Meet cosmic mysteries. Jump in and join us for conversations that will feel like sunshine for your soul. To follow me along on this journey, head over to my website at renee novello.com or on Instagram at vibe with intuition. Now let's dive into the interview.
Jen Carter's Journey into Coaching
00:01:16
Speaker
Hi, Jen Carter, welcome. Hi, thanks for having me. I'm really excited to meet you. And to talk to you today, thank you for making the trip across the building. I know you have a co-working space here, so the commute hopefully wasn't too bad. Yeah, the commute from my office to the podcast room is not bad at all. It's lovely. Have you been on this side yet? Like into this room? I have. I haven't been in this room since they did it though.
00:01:40
Speaker
Yeah, it's lovely. This is where the magic happens. I love it. It's super fun to talk to you and I'm excited to hear about you and your offerings and what your magic is. Maybe start off by giving us a little introduction to you and yeah, how you got into coaching. Like you said, I'm Jen Carter. I really didn't know that coaching was a thing. Honestly, it came to me at a time when I really needed it.
00:02:09
Speaker
And that's why I ended up becoming a coach. In my previous life, I was a pediatric physical therapist. I helped little tiny children straight out of the hospital in the NICU. And then I was a stay at home mom for a really long time and got to this place where I was really lost and stuck. I had no idea who I was outside of being a mom and a wife. It really kind of took me down, you know? I wasn't feeling great about myself. And so I figured, okay, my choices are stay here, go to therapy, and I'd had
00:02:39
Speaker
a tragic loss of my dad previous to that. And I was like, I'm not in the place to get a therapy right now. I need to keep functioning, not dig into all the heavy stuff. And through that journey, I ended up getting introduced to coaching completely randomly. A friend of mine sent me a link. It was
Coaching vs Therapy
00:02:55
Speaker
supposed to be for a mindfulness-based stress reduction course. And the link was for an integrative health coaching course through Duke. Amazing. Yeah, both in the same program. This was a little over six years ago.
00:03:07
Speaker
Okay. Wow. Okay. So yeah, that's interesting. You brought up a few things about, first of all, I totally hear what you're saying about the therapy component. Cause I have had therapy, I've been in therapy at different times and it takes, it takes a certain dedication and you have to be in the mindset to really be wanting to do that heavy lifting.
00:03:27
Speaker
Yeah. And I know there's other supportive modalities, obviously, like mindfulness that you mentioned and getting into that. So how intensive was that training that you did through Duke? I mean, that's like a big name college. Yeah. So it was actually through Duke in integrative medicine. They're now called Duke Health. They rebranded. So it was about a 10 month training and some of it was at Duke and then some of it was remote.
00:03:53
Speaker
It was fabulous. At the time, I wasn't working, which was really helpful. But most of the people that were with me had regular full-time jobs, so it's possible to do with that. But it was really skills-based. It was not as content-based, which I appreciated. It was really taking you through the skills of being a coach, which is a completely different mindset than
00:04:17
Speaker
most of us even have or have been presented with. Yeah, exactly. And maybe you could speak to what is the distinction between coaching and therapy per se, since that was sort of an intersection that you faced at that point in time. And I know you mentioned that was a question you get asked. Can you elaborate a little bit on that if people are like, why would I get a coach over a therapist or vice versa? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I get asked that a lot. So and I coach a lot of people who have been in therapy and done a lot of work.
00:04:47
Speaker
And what they come in and say is, I did the work, I get it. I know why I'm here, but I'm still in the same place. And this isn't the place I want to be. And so coaching's focus is really on where you are and where you want to be and helping you through the obstacles that are getting in your way. And so it's a different mindset. After I had been coached for a while, I got to this place where I was good with myself. I was no longer bashing myself in my head. I was like, you know,
00:05:16
Speaker
negative, ugly self-talk, I'd gotten rid of that. I was super confident. I wasn't anxious. I wasn't depressed. And so at that point in time, I went into a therapist and I said, okay, I'm good. Now I'm ready to deal with this tragedy from my past, right? And it was great because I was able to get through therapy pretty quickly like that.
00:05:37
Speaker
without having to dig up all of the things. So really, coaching is a different focus, a different direction. And a compliment, it sounds like. Yeah, yeah. A lot of people can do both. Some people will do therapy and then come to coaching. Some people do coaching, then go to therapy. A lot of people will come to coaching, and that's all they'll do. And we're able to somewhat heal some of the past things,
00:06:03
Speaker
without going after the healing. Explain that a little bit more. So as we gain insight and forward movement, we'll gain experiences that are in
Jen's Coaching Style and Client Challenges
00:06:15
Speaker
a more helpful realm, in a positive realm. And that in and of itself can help heal some of the stories and some of the pain that people are living in.
00:06:26
Speaker
Yeah, so shifting the perspective of the story, maybe even letting go of the story. Absolutely. I do a lot of work with the stories, the patterns, the beliefs that are running you and helping people process through that. Say more about that because that is, I mean, everyone is, I don't think anyone is immune to that. No. Yeah. We're all run by the stories, right? And the stories come from somewhere. They usually come from experience.
00:06:54
Speaker
and the emotions that we're not working with. And so we have different tools we use to help process through. And what I mean by is we work through it. We look at different viewpoints. We never just ignore the hard stuff. I always say we honor the hard, we cherish the good, and we look at the horizon. And in that process of transformation, which I think is what's so motivating for someone to be in coaching in particular,
00:07:23
Speaker
I know in my experience, I have worked with many coaches. I have background in spiritual life coaching, a little bit different focus, more of a Darmic soul purpose coaching. It's the glimpse of being able to transform and create something new for yourself and taking those stories and allowing them to have their place.
00:07:48
Speaker
but also being able to process through that, I think. And that's the thing I really am a big advocate of support and coaching, because I think that there's something to be said for someone seeing you and also holding space for the possibility of where you're desiring to go. Is that super fulfilling when you're working? Is that one of the things that makes you tick as a coach? It's absolutely fulfilling. Yeah, and like you just said,
00:08:17
Speaker
the bigger picture. I have clients all the time say, you hold the bigger picture for me. And I'll often say to new clients, I'm like, when you and I are in this room, there are three people in this room. There's you, there's me, and there's this version of you you can't see yet that I hold. Oh, I love that. That through things they bring, I can see, right?
00:08:36
Speaker
And my job is really to keep showing that to them in different ways and different pieces they bring until they get to that version of themselves. It's really beautiful. It's like holding up a mirror to somebody. And in the mirror, you can see the most
00:08:50
Speaker
ideal possibility for yourself and having someone else do that is so powerful and so needed because you can't do that from being inside your own space or whatever. And oftentimes there is things in your space. There's, you know, issues in your space that maybe you don't even necessarily see. So the value of having someone to be able to say, have you looked at
00:09:13
Speaker
Are you ready to look at this? Like shine a light in the corner over there maybe? What do you find people, I know you touched on this generally, but do you find that people are coming to you with a common desire or theme? Is it anything that you can kind of pinpoint?
00:09:34
Speaker
You know, when I first started coaching, I really had niched into moms that were lost, that were stuck, that didn't know who they were, right? And over the last six years, that's really shifted to the point of my youngest is 18, my oldest is 74, I coach men and women, right? So it sounds so across the board. And everyone comes to me, they think for a different reason, but really they come to me for the deeper work.
00:10:03
Speaker
of understanding themselves, of gaining self-confidence, of moving forward and really viewing themselves in a different light than they ever have before. I often say, what I do is I teach new languages, right? We don't have the language to view ourselves in a great light often. We don't have the language to take care of ourselves. You need to develop that. And if it's not something you possess,
00:10:34
Speaker
It's not something you can teach yourself, right? Absolutely. And I think it takes practice, like a muscle you're practicing, right? It does. It does. And it also takes really connecting at a place that is meaningful for you. And so a lot of people will say, well, I've read all of the books and I've listened to the podcasts and I've gotten the advice.
00:10:53
Speaker
All of those are great, but those are for someone else. Your brain is completely different than theirs. Your experience is completely different than theirs. So pieces of that might resonate with you, but really being able to step in and own what works for you and understanding that is just such a gift to be able to help people do.
00:11:15
Speaker
And it's the implementation too, right? Because if everybody digested a podcast or a book or read something, something somebody's doing that's working for them and it just instantly happened, you know, that would be amazing, right? But it's the implementation piece that you need the support with that actual
00:11:35
Speaker
where you can actually make the biggest change. Because I mean, a podcaster, Kathy Heller, she's very, very well known. In fact, that's who I did my podcast training school with. But she has a podcast, she just changed the name. It's abundantly ever after now. But she does, she's an incredible visionary that I really look up to. And she always gives this example of, think about how many, you know, if information was enough and you have all these cookbooks on your shelf,
00:12:03
Speaker
you would have these amazing, you know, the actual amazing meal is the actual implementation of the information that's out there. Cause we are in no shortage of information right now. No, not at all. There's an overabundance of information, right? And it's great information, but people usually are not
00:12:25
Speaker
skilled at being able to take that information and take the information that applies to them and apply it to themselves in a way that works for them, right? Yeah, and boiling it down, because it's overwhelming. It's too much for most people. Yeah, absolutely. Do you feel like that's an overwhelm is like a common thing that people are like experiencing? Yeah, a lot of people are so overwhelmed with everything, right? And when that happens, they really lose the little moments. They lose the ability to be present.
00:12:54
Speaker
they lose the ability to have joy because if you can't be present there's no joy. If you can't be in the moment then there's no joy. You're projecting either an anxiety into the future or potentially reliving the past.
00:13:11
Speaker
So I love you having a holistic approach. I mean, I, I think having, and that's something that I know in, you speak to and so forth, but like, how does that, uh, how does that actually play out when you're working with somebody? Is it because I imagine you do, do you do more than just talking or do you do any practices or anything with people?
00:13:31
Speaker
The holistic approach with me is really looking at all the different aspects of someone's life and how they interplay, right? And it helps us come up with what these deeper challenges and these deeper strengths are. They're really universal. And so I tend to work more on the deeper level, not on the I'm having a challenge in my job and this is the challenge, but what does that mean for you? Because it shows up in far more places, right? So if I can work on that deeper part,
00:14:00
Speaker
really helpful. And as far as practices, yeah, I do breath work with all of my clients. I always start with some really basic mindfulness. And I always tell my clients, I said, don't tell me it's good. Tell me I like that. Don't ever do that again. This was a little uncomfortable, but I can handle it because I have a huge toolbox of meditation and mindfulness and breathing practices. And I really like to be able to tailor
00:14:30
Speaker
whatever practice to the client. Because when I do that, people come in all the time and say, oh, I can't meditate, I've tried. And I'm like, yeah, that's how I thought, too. Right? I thought I couldn't do it. Because it wasn't the way that I worked. So really being able to find the way they work and what resonates with them, it's not something that they put on their to-do list. It just starts to be ingrained in them and their lives.
00:14:59
Speaker
We'll come in and we'll do some breath work. It's always part of it. It helps with the mindfulness piece as well and the presence. Even if they decide they're not gonna take on anything like a formal meditation or anything, most of my clients don't. And invariably, a month or so later, they'll come back and they'll say, there was this situation and I stopped and I breathed.
00:15:20
Speaker
and I looked at it a little bit differently, and I'll pause them and say, do you have any idea what you just said? Because it's something they haven't been working on. It's just become part of them. I love that so much. And it's such an important point that it doesn't take a lot. Like I think in our sort of ambitious world and everything, you think like, oh, I have to log.
00:15:40
Speaker
30 minutes in meditation, before I go and do this, it becomes almost another trigger for your nervous system to be unregulated, right? Because you're like, I have to do these things. And
Authenticity and Personal Growth
00:15:51
Speaker
having it be simple and easy and something that actually serves you when you need it, big fan of that. You know? Yeah, absolutely. It's that whole thought of force versus flow, right? If we can step into the flow, if we can step into what really resonates
00:16:10
Speaker
what really works for us, it's not something you put on your to do list. It's not something that you say, okay, I have to log this, but a lot of times we're working against ourselves and that's why it's so hard. Right. And you don't want, and here's the thing, you're not going to do something you don't want to do, right? Like repeatedly, like it's not going to be like, I can promise you.
00:16:30
Speaker
Everybody, I'm not going for a run today. I can promise you, I do not enjoy running. It's so funny, last week my husband was like, oh, my son told my husband, mom went for a run, she'll be back. And I got back, he's like, did you go for a run? And I looked at him, I said, we've been together for 20 years, Chris. Do you really think I started running today? Have you ever seen me run? And he was like, no, that's why I looked at Anthony, our son, I was like, ugh.
00:16:58
Speaker
What are you talking about? I was like, I went for a walk, very different. But it's so true, because it's not something that I personally get any sort of anything from. However, I love a walk. Yeah, I do, too. You know what's funny? I actually have a rule that I've made for myself. Like, I don't run and I don't do burpees. No. Girl, I'm with you. I'm about to be 51. I don't need to do these things anymore. I don't need to do the things that
00:17:24
Speaker
don't fit for me, right? Isn't it freeing? I'm with you. I'm in the same phase of life. And I'm like, it's a no. It's like, I don't feel the need to keep up necessarily. Now mind you, like my very, very best friend, like a sister, she's a fitness coach and she loves her burpees. And you know, I think it's wonderful. I'm very happy for her, but do not suggest that I need to do burpees.
00:17:52
Speaker
And it's also, it's freeing to be able to honor that works for her. She enjoys that. It gives her what she needs, right? But it doesn't work for you. And we are not carbon copies. Life is not one size fits all. It's not. I love having someone who is able to look at someone as an individual and really see if you want this momentum in this direction of life,
00:18:20
Speaker
These are your unique potential blind spots or strengths or things like that. I'm such, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm done with the one size fits all in like so many areas. Cause I tried, I tried really hard at times to do the thing that I thought everyone, and really that's what it comes from is sort of this outside expectation that someone else, you know, this is good for someone else. I should be doing it too or something, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So how, how did that go for you?
00:18:48
Speaker
Well, it was, it's been some growing pains and learning pains and I've had, I bumped up against that a lot because I am ambitious and I do things all in at times. That's my nature. I'm kind of like an all in kind of girl, like zero to 60. If I get my head that I'm like, Oh yeah, this is the thing. But sometimes the underlying intention is not clear. And so it can be painful at times, but
00:19:11
Speaker
I think now at this phase I've learned to soften and listen more, make space more and be willing to pivot and not be like have any bad feelings about it or anything or any self, you know, uh, what's the word like beating yourself up. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You know what I mean? So I think now I recover faster from my big ambitious ideas that maybe aren't really meant for me.
00:19:37
Speaker
And that what you just said is key, right? It's that aren't meant for you. It's not that you can't have big ambitious ideas and go zero to 60, right? If that's what you love, that's how you're wired. Like, yes, do that. But in ways that are meant for you, right? And I think that's one of the key things is being able to develop that skillset to know and to know, okay, this isn't feeling right. Okay, let me pay attention to that. Let's not ignore that. It doesn't mean we ditch it, but we do need to pay attention to it.
00:20:07
Speaker
Totally, totally agree. Yeah, and the notion that you mentioned about clients and who you work with being, you know, all varieties and walks of life and phases of life, varieties of life, I guess. I appreciate when you're kind of taught to find a knee short, you know, but I think having more expansive
00:20:31
Speaker
I guess being open to things being more expansive. So how has that worked for you? Has it been word of mouth or how have people found you, you feel like mostly in your work? A few ways. Word of mouth referrals from old clients, from some practitioners that I know well. Most people find me through Google. Which is beautiful because when you refer someone,
00:20:58
Speaker
the chances of them actually coming are pretty slim, right? Because you've gotta really, in order to come into a coach, you've gotta really be in the place of.
00:21:07
Speaker
I am ready for this. I want this. I'm ready to commit to it. And that doesn't happen a lot with referrals, right? It's someone else's idea. So most people find me through Google. They're looking for a life coach. They're looking for what I do. Good SEO out there. Yeah, which is great. I actually don't do anything for it, honestly. It's pure luck.
00:21:29
Speaker
Good for you even more. And then people who know me, honestly. So coaching, since it's different than therapy, I can coach people who I know. Now I don't coach people that are really close to me in life, right? But I'll have people who I knew in college pop up on Facebook and say, hey, there's this thing going on in my life. I'm kind of stuck. I'm looking for some clarity and forward direction. Is this something you do? Right. And so that's beautiful.
00:21:55
Speaker
that might be somebody I haven't talked to in 20, 30 years. And then they become my clients and I just know them on a whole different level. Right. There's been some space there. Yeah. A ton of life happening. Yeah. But I think it's because they already know me and trust me because to really open to your own inner work, you have to really trust the person. Definitely.
00:22:16
Speaker
Right? So I think it's helpful. That's awesome. That's so cool. I was going to say something about, Oh, I know. So how did, are you from this area or how did you end up here? So I have moved 26 times in my life. 26. Okay. 26, not 26 different cities necessarily, but yeah, 26 times. I'm not a military person. My dad was a physician, but I have lived here twice. So this is the second time we moved here. Oh geez.
00:22:47
Speaker
I don't even know how long ago. We were here for five years. I was living in Curie Beach and my husband and my joke was, if you ever leave this island, you can go without me. Right? And he at the time was a physician assistant in the emergency room.
00:23:03
Speaker
his passion was tech. And so he had this opportunity to open a medical technology company and step out of the medical realm and do medical advising and the tech part and develop that. And so he and his brother actually opened a company and it happened to be located in Greenville, South Carolina. Inland. Inland. Yeah. Yeah. And at first he was commuting back and forth year through week and there for a week. We were like, okay, that's doable. My kids were in second and seventh grade at the time.
00:23:33
Speaker
He came home one weekend and it was a Saturday morning. I'll never forget it. We woke up and he said, so I have something to tell you. And I said, yeah. And he said, I need to be in Greenville full time. And I said, when? And he said, Monday. And it was November, just before the holidays. And so I literally was sitting there with the choice of do I let my husband move by himself and stay here because I don't want to leave this place. My kids were both in Montessori school. It was beautiful, just this lovely life.
00:24:03
Speaker
So I was like, well, I can't let him go by himself. So we moved three days before Christmas. And that's really where I had all of this, if you want to call it awakening, right? I got to this place of being so lost. Well, I didn't love living there in the beginning. It's such a part of my story. You know, all of the things that have happened become a part of who you are and how you got here.
00:24:29
Speaker
Yeah, so we were there for six and a half years. That's a good chunk of time. It was a good chunk of time. It was great in so many ways. But then it got to the point that everything was remote. And my husband's company went fully remote. And so we kind of looked at each other and said, why are we still here? We thought we'd be here for a year or two.
00:24:47
Speaker
And so we moved back to Wilmington almost three years ago. Yeah, that's us too. We did the same exact thing. I think a lot of people I talked to in our town in particular do have that similar story. We did the same thing from Northern Virginia where we were coming here for vacations. Chris grew up here half his life. And then when everybody was home in virtual and he can, he still has to travel back up there, but he can do a lot remotely. We were like,
00:25:15
Speaker
I would like to be near the water now, I think. I'm looking for that energizing ocean. I was leaving my house today, and we live right near the inner coastal, and I could smell the ocean.
00:25:30
Speaker
This is amazing. This is like what people literally save and savor that one week out of the year or something like that. It's such a gift to living here. Do you love it? It's huge. Yeah, we love it. I mean, we moved back here on purpose. Most of my moves in my life have not been purposeful, right? It's been, we have to move for a job or whatever.
00:25:50
Speaker
This was very intentional, right? We intentionally moved back here. Yeah. And how did your kids adjust? Okay. Yeah. So funny enough, my son was entering his freshman year of college and he wanted to go to school back in North Carolina. Yeah. So he was already coming to North Carolina. He's in Charlotte. And then my daughter was going into eighth grade at the time. She, I think had a harder adjustment, but I think a lot of it was, it was just after the pandemic and she was in eighth grade and you know, the world was tricky.
00:26:19
Speaker
She's now finishing her sophomore year. She's just doing amazing, and it's beautiful. I'm glad. I'm glad everybody found their way. Yeah, it took a while for us to get our bearings.
00:26:29
Speaker
get all the established support and know who our people are here and everything like that. Moving is a wild experience in and of itself. So what do you, I wanted to ask you personally, what makes you tick? What are your passions? What are your passions interests, motivations, like outside of your coaching? I'm sure that's a big piece of it for you personally. Yeah, I love to play.
00:26:57
Speaker
And it's funny, because I was the oldest of four, and so I sort of played as a kid, but not really. I understand that. I love to play. I love kayaking and paddle boarding and hula hooping, and there's a tree swing in my backyard that's mine.
00:27:13
Speaker
coloring and painting and all kinds of fun stuff. I'm so glad I asked that question because honestly, you are obviously very composed and professional in what you do, but I love this side of you and I totally relate to this. Yeah. I do. Oh my gosh. That's so fun. Yeah. So I love the play and it's so funny because just over a year ago, I decided
00:27:34
Speaker
So my workshops, I mean obviously the work I do is like pretty deep. Not that we can't laugh, but it's rather serious. And there was this play side of me and so I decided that all the workshops and retreats I was gonna do were going to be partnered with other people where it involves some element of play. So that's what I've been doing for like almost the last year and a half of partnering with people who lead kayaking or pottery or my retreat this weekend involves some art.
00:28:02
Speaker
I actually have one that is an idea and I haven't put it out there yet, but there's a woman who does aerial yoga, who I love. And I'm like, ooh, let's do that, right? All about taking risks. And so it's just taking the two pieces of me and putting it together. So yeah, so I love to play. I love, obviously, I love deep, authentic conversation. That's where I live. I don't live in the surface. I always say I'm like, I'm the last person you ever wanna invite to a cocktail party. I can't do it.
00:28:32
Speaker
No, I'm not very, I'm so, I'm not awkward. I can definitely like ask the questions and smile and do the things, but I'm depleted immediately, internally. So I just, I've, this is another thing at life in this phase of life. It's very freeing. I don't do it. I don't.
00:28:50
Speaker
intentionally seek out or agree to things that I know are going to be depleting to my life force. Because then everybody's, I'm gonna need recovery in a different way. Is your husband an extrovert or more of an introvert? No, my husband's a complete and total introvert.
00:29:07
Speaker
So you don't get into those casuals. See, my husband's an extrovert and we have a very social neighborhood and it didn't take, I tried at first when we got there to sort of participate and keep up and then I was like, I don't really enjoy this. And it's nothing personal against anybody or, you know, I'm just, it's not my vibe. I don't drink. I don't have any desire to like just sit around and I don't even know. I don't even know. I get very awkward. I get that. I am in the same boat. Honestly, when I have
00:29:37
Speaker
time to spend with people, I'm much more selective now. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Isn't it great? It is so liberating. It is so liberating. Yeah, I just didn't like no, because this is not gonna you know, but then again, I'm like you have and we have a great relationship in terms of him understanding that about me. Yeah. And he can go get his cup filled and do extroverted things and
00:30:04
Speaker
I don't, and I always laugh, because I'm like, the neighbors probably think you're single, because I'm never there. I'm never there, but we're like, yeah, I mean, who knows? But it's really a really, it's a big gift that I think I've really given myself in the past couple years is permission to not force those sorts of interactions that I just, it's not my jam. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I love, anytime we can give ourselves permission,
00:30:34
Speaker
to do with the lines with us, right? And I mean, you and I are probably around the same era. And so some of it comes through time, but it's great. Like when I get young clients and they can get some ideas about this and they can start to really know themselves and give themselves permission to live in ways that align with them. I just think, man, what an advantage they have for every decision they make in their life.
00:31:03
Speaker
Exactly. Definitely instilled that in my kids too. Honoring their own needs and their own energetic requirements.
Upcoming Coaching Retreats
00:31:11
Speaker
Just because somebody else is having a great time or doing things this way and it does not do it for you, it's okay to choose something different or to opt out. Well, I wanted to ask if there's anything, I know you're hosting retreats.
00:31:29
Speaker
At the time that we're recording this, you have a couple coming up. Tell us a little bit about those, and then, yeah, if there's anything a little bit farther out in the future going on that you're aware of. Yes, so at the time we're recording this, I have a retreat tomorrow. It's an overnight retreat in Holden Beach, which is a women's empowerment retreat. And we're really going to be able to release some of the things that are blocking us, look where we're going, focus on being and presence, and then
00:31:59
Speaker
Let our inner light just shine through. And play. What kind of play are you doing? So I'm not sure. A lot of it's spontaneous, right? I love on my retreats because the other retreat I do is a kayaking retreat to Masonboro.
00:32:13
Speaker
And we kind of have a ritual of doing cartwheels on the beach. So last time we added in like leaps and twirls in case you didn't want a cartwheel or you just needed to leap or twirl. So yeah, so there's gonna be some of that. There's gonna be some, you know, I'm bringing all of the things of, you know, the crayons and the books and the Play-Doh and the hula hoop and all of whatever anyone wants. And then I'm actually partnering with a beautiful dear friend who I met through coming to my retreats.
00:32:41
Speaker
Lizzie Horrigan and she is going to lead some creative time as well. Nice. So that's beautiful. Yeah. And then next weekend is kayaking, women's empowerment kayaking, which is great. We do a two hour session either the night before or the morning of, depending on the tides, just really gathering people in community, helping them get comfortable with themselves and one another.
00:33:03
Speaker
And then the next day, or that afternoon, we do like a six hour tour. And I, yeah, I partnered with this beautiful woman, Kaylin Hernandez, who owns Wilmington Outdoor Adventures. And she is just an incredible person and kayak guide. That's an experience. So she guides us over there. And then I lead people when we're at, when we're there, and then we come back and it's just,
00:33:24
Speaker
It's incredible to me how people can get to know themselves and one another on such a meaningful level in such a short period of time when you really present it in a different manner. When it's not we're gathering in who are you and where do you live and how many kids do you have? It's who am I really? When you meet people on that level you can connect so quickly and it's so meaningful.
00:33:50
Speaker
And the fact that you're incorporating fun activities and making that the focus. It's like people's inner child start to come out and play. And that's really such a, I think such a release that we all need. Yeah, I feel you there. I know. I feel like I had some moments of revelation where I tend, you know, I can be pretty like driven and A-type and
00:34:12
Speaker
I think I'm tired of this way. I'm tired of being a little too intense and A-type, and I just want to be playful and do things. So I got the app Procreate on my iPad. Have you ever experimented with it? I've heard of it, but have not.
00:34:29
Speaker
I went down a rabbit hole last summer. I think the summer's a good time for me to do that, because, you know, you just have more space, and I don't necessarily want to be super hot outside. So I'm like, oh, play. It's so fun. It's so fun. You've got it. Highly recommend. Highly recommend. It's like you can do.
00:34:48
Speaker
so many different creative, and there's tutorials, I mean, YouTube, Skillshare, you can do so many tutorials on different creative, like you can create really simple mandalas that are so satisfying and colorful. So yeah, Procreate. If you're ever looking for something to add to the fun repertoire. I will check it out. I do love mandala dot painting. That's really fun. And I'm not awesome at it.
00:35:16
Speaker
like at all. Like you would never call me an artist, but it's fun. And I think another thing as I've just given myself permission to do things, even if they aren't great, even if it's just for the enjoyment of doing it. Yeah. How do you balance that? Because I'm curious personally, how do you balance that with also
00:35:37
Speaker
running a business. Do you set aside specific time? Do you feel into the day? Do you pivot when you need to? Like, what's your? I'm really intuitive about everything. Me too. And I'm also ADHD. So, you know, I have to go with what I'm feeling. And so if I set it up as, okay, today I'm going to do this from four to five. I mean, I can do that for work, for clients and things like that, but not when it comes to my life and my creativity. It comes when it comes, you know?
00:36:07
Speaker
When I'm the most creative, like when I will, I'll wake up at two or three in the morning and I'll just have this idea for a recruiter workshop and I will download it and it will be literally written in 10 minutes for the most part. That's the best when that happens. Yeah, right? Yeah, or like write that liminal state when you're waking up and you're like getting these pieces of clarity and you're like,
00:36:29
Speaker
Beautiful, beautiful. So good, so good. I was just curious, because sometimes I have a hard time. There's like two of me that wants to play and do the things. And then there's just part of me that's like, no, we are moving the needle. We are going for it today. I get very kind of like on that work ambitious side. And it's like having the space for both sometimes can be a pull, a pull, pushing a pull within me personally. I do try to take time in the summer to kind of honor that.
00:36:57
Speaker
because I don't really like to work when it's hot. And- I got you. I am. And be super on. I think it just kind of rhythmically with the seasons feels good to me to make that summer playful time of the year happen. Summer is always a little more playful for me. There are certain things I tone down, like I don't do any networking in the summer. I don't do any, I completely downsize on social media, all of those things.
00:37:25
Speaker
And a lot of it's been because my children were home, right? And so I wanted to carve out space and energy for them. I think I'm also a little lucky because I don't have that ambitious part. My business coming together at all was not something that I intended, it came together. And the whole way that things come together, it's just super organic.
00:37:49
Speaker
And I love that for you. I really do, because I feel like I'm on the struggle bus of like, oh no, I want this to happen, or I'm moving in this direction. Well, my challenge, and some people work really well that way, right? If that works for you, great. For me, if I had an idea of what would be going on a year from now, I'd probably be wrong. And I'd be going in this other direction, potentially, where
00:38:15
Speaker
everything was showing me, like, no, this is what's growing for you, right? And so I feel like I'd be missing out on all that organic goodness, like all of it coming together in this really beautiful way. So I think I've just stepped back from trying to predict it, and I'm like, I don't know exactly what's going on. In your magic, and some people do work really well with that sort of goal. Yeah, absolutely. You know, goal-focused agendas and things like that, but then
00:38:40
Speaker
then there's the intuitives. And I am actually leaning into more and more and more of that side of myself this days in life, but that's awesome. I totally feel that. Do you know your birth chart in astrology? Do you know it? I do not. Like I've heard it. It's not something that just connects with me.
00:38:57
Speaker
So someone has told me and I can't remember. You can't remember. I was just curious. If you tell me neuroscience for something, like it goes by like, I totally get it, right. But yeah, it doesn't connect in that way. Yeah. You're a good balance for me in this podcast too, because I think that a lot of us are more in that sort of, you know, realm of spirituality and mysticism. But then I also really like to play in, you know, in, in kind of more of the concrete too.
00:39:23
Speaker
And I love the concrete. Everything I do is grounded in science. And then it's kind of the mystical on top of it, right? Definitely, definitely. Is there anything else you want to share as we wrap up? Yeah, I'm going into some fun retreats.
00:39:41
Speaker
I'll likely have some more in the fall. I am actually working on something new, and it's one of those things. A year ago, I would have said, I had no idea that I would be doing this, but I'm actually becoming certified as a relationship coach right now. So I'm gonna add that on, and it's just this really beautiful extension of what I already do. I've been helping people build themselves, because I feel like one of the places that we'll get taken down is in ourselves, like in our head, in our heart,
00:40:11
Speaker
our emotions and then outside events, those close relationships. And so I kind of got to this place in my own life where I needed to develop this for myself. I'm excited about it. I love that. Yeah. And I think it's a lot more approachable to go to someone for coaching as opposed to therapy. I may be making a generalization here, but
00:40:32
Speaker
In my experience, personally, I think that it's more approachable, especially if there's a masculine component to counterpart to go to more of a coaching. It sounds a little more cool oriented as let's go talk about our feelings. Right. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I think from my own experience, yeah. Coaching is much more comfortable to walk into, right?
00:40:55
Speaker
The relationship is more like a partnership and it's always forward focused. It's always, okay, let's gain some insight and move forward and gain some insight and move forward. So it has that forward movement built into it without being so technically goal oriented. Yep. Yep. I got you. I got you. That's exciting. Yeah. I'm excited. I love that. Well, thank you so much for talking to me today and sharing yourself with everyone, all the listeners and tell people how they can connect with you.
00:41:24
Speaker
Yeah, so you can connect with me on social media, on Facebook or Instagram, at Jen Carter Coaching. Or Google. Or Google, right, there you go. Or on the web, just www.JenCarterCoaching.com. For individuals, I always do a free intro session. I just really wanna make sure that whoever I take on, I can help and they need what I offer. So I'll meet with people and throw a little coaching their way and get to know them and what they're looking for and what they've already tried.
00:41:55
Speaker
And either we'll just have a great conversation, and we'll decide that's not a fit, and they usually have some other suggestions of where they could head, or we'll decide that working together is beautiful. Or next thing you know, you're hula-hooping and kayaking. Exactly, like who knows. I love that. Well, it's really a pleasure. Thank you for being here, Jen. Thank you for having me.