Transcript
Speaker: This is a Muckstein Productions Podcast.
Speaker: Hello homies and trainers and welcome to Unknown Radio, your Mugstain production Pokemon talk show, where we take a peek at every Pokemon. I'm Claudia and I'm here with my co host, Catherine. Hello, I'm Catherine. While we both have Rizm, Claudia has the facts. And we both have the tism. Yeah, boy.
Speaker: And this week we're going to be doing number 20 in the Pokedex, and this is Raticate. Yay. Whoo. Do you know what his tagline is? Oh, fucking hell. I don't know the big Pokémon, the mouse Pokémon, the rat Pokémon. Ding, ding, ding. Which one? The mouse, the mouse Pokémon. The mouse Pokémon again. Look at the size of his gnashers. He's no mouse. He's no mouse. Look at his gnashers.
Speaker: Look at the size of his head. He's more gnasher than a bloody rat. So what does he look like? He's brown. He's got like a yellow belly and flippin' huge teeth. Big toughas. He's got a big tail too. And the tail is horribly hairless. Like an angel rat. It's something really creepy about rodent's tails. And it's just skin.
Speaker: Uh, but it's not even like soft skin. It's just like calluses. Right. And I can attest to that because I did just go to an oddities convention and I did buy a possum tail, like a petrified possum tail that's hanging on my wall. And that feels like what I think eradicates tail would feel like. You need to send me a picture of this later.
Speaker: I will. It's kind of cute. It's kind of, it looks like callous skin with a little bit of hair on it. That is what I imagined Raticate is.
Speaker: Like a possum tail. So this big boy, this big boy is two foot and four inches tall and he weighs 40 .8 pounds, which equates to 18 .5 kgs. Jesus Christ, it's the size of a six month old baby.
Speaker: He's just a six month old baby with a hairless tail and big old nashes. Like a big six month old baby, but still, that's actually terrifying. Imagine one of them coming at you. Oh my God. I wonder how bad his teeth is. I'm going to Google it. You carry on, sweetheart. I want to know the size of his teeth because I bet you've not got that factor written down. I have not. I'm also using my work computer, so I really hope they don't check my search history.
Speaker: I hope they do, and they ask questions. Compared to Rattata, Rattake is far more of a predator, and the majority of its features are adapted for this purpose. Its most notable feature, as you mentioned, are its large teeth, and then he has those three whiskers on each side of his face which it uses to maintain balance, and the webbing on its feet allows it to swim.
Speaker: Can real rats swim? Real rats are swimmers, yeah, they live in... Of course they do, they live in their sewers! That's really interesting though, you see? Technically, Raticate could be a water Pokémon. Raticate could be a water Pokémon, yeah. That would be a weird turn of events but I'm here for it. It might make it more exciting.
Speaker: Instead, this version is a normal type, but I wouldn't be surprised and I also wouldn't be disappointed if they bring out another regional form of like Rattata and Rattakate, where they are water versions.
Speaker: Like weed rats or river rats or something. That would be kind of cool. It would give it a little bit of a je ne sais quoi. Just anything. It would give it anything. Also, I like how often we say je ne sais quoi. Like, just, you know, we keep saying it about Ratata as well and I'm here for it. Mr Charles would be proud. That is our old teacher from high school.
Speaker: It just gives it a little bit of something. This is first and foremost a business podcast, but also with some taste. A business podcast? What way is this business? We discuss business.
Speaker: with my quality headphones. Exactly. So much like the Rattata, the Raticate also have the gender differences with the males having the longer whiskers and the female having the shorter whiskers. Nice. And then it kind of went on a little bit of a tangent because like we discussed before, the shiny version of Rattata was green, but the shiny version of Raticate is
Speaker: bright neon orange. Gets out. It's very weird looking. I think I might like it more than the original though to be fair.
Speaker: Yeah, it's, I feel more socially acceptable than the red rat, the green ratatuh and a lot cooler looking than a poopy brown normal ratacate. So it's not showing up as a neon orange on my laptop, so. It's like a deep, yeah, a deep, bright traffic cone like orange. I was hoping for like proper highlighter orange, but I think he looks better as orange. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. There we go. Let me get to it. This is a, what he could be used for as a traffic cone. Um, anyway, Raticate appears to be based on a rat, duh, as well as a semi -aquatic rodent, such as a muskrat or a koi -poo, whatever that is, due to its large size and webbed feet. Okay. I heard you laugh at koi -poo.
Speaker: I thought I hid it so well. Obviously I did not. I knew it was coming too as soon as it left my mouth. So, Raticate's name comes from rat and the word eradicate or masticate. Masticate means to gnaw or chew before you say anything about that. I didn't even. Nothing else came to my mind actually, mate.
Speaker: No, nothing else at all. So this guy lives three to five years, so the entire lifespan of this family is five years. Okay. That's not too bad. Not bad for a rodent. No. I think that's basically how long a general rodent lives for, right? Yeah. Like a larger size one, like a rat or a guinea pig or something like that.
Speaker: So we'll go a little bit about its characteristics. So back to those gnashes that you like so much. Its teeth are strong enough to gnaw through steel and their constant growth means it often needs to gnaw on something like rocks and logs. It may even chew on the walls of houses and is capable of chewing through cinder blocks.
Speaker: and toppling concrete buildings. Don't want this guy as a pet, do ya? Jesus Christ. Flatten your house. He would. Geez Louise. Start eating your foundation. He would be good as a revenge, you know, like, like, like we posted Rattata. We could post this guy too. You'd need a slightly bigger envelope to send this thing in the mail. Oh, Amazon address. You'd eat a box.
Speaker: But the Pidgeotto Amazon? Yeah. That'd deliver it for me. And the Pidgeotto would definitely eat this. Yeah. And rightfully so, you know. Do the world a favour, really. It would, actually. We need more Pidgeos in the world. Pidgeotos to eat the ratheters that are breeding because they're rodents. Population control?
Speaker: Which we talk about a lot in a lot of different ways in this podcast. So a little bit about its behavior. Raticate remains just as much as a nuisance to homeowners as a ratator, but they are more aggressive. Luckily, they also live in smaller groups as large group ratator, generally split into groups of about eight or 10 or so when they evolve.
Speaker: Okay. So thank God, but also not because these are much bigger. So it makes more sense that they have less of them to fill in the spaces between houses that they apparently eat. I just they just sound terrifying. You know, we talked about the plague last time imagine one of these bad boys.
Speaker: This could definitely eat off your foot with them teeth. Yeah, a hundred percent. Like, I reckon it might even be able to take an arm. Ooh. Yeah. I mean, if you look at the size of it. Look at the size of its nachos. Me and the bloody nachos. I never go teeth nachos either. I don't know why I'm started.
Speaker: Well, the teeth take up about a quarter of the size of this Pokémon, and if it's two foot, that means those teeth are about half a foot, like six inches, which if you ask a guy, is very big. That's huge. That's the biggest I've ever seen. It's the size of a Mimikyu. Oh my god, it is! It eradicates teeth at the size of a Mimikyu, and I hate that.
Speaker: That's fucking terrifying. I don't even want to live in a world where these are real. Imagine like, oh, imagine you're at the night and you go down a back alley like behind a load of restaurants and one of these fuckers comes out the bin. You'd be eating the bin. I think I'd die on the spot. I don't even know what I'd do. I'd piss.
Speaker: Just pissing guy. I got out of it. Hopefully distracted enough. My scent of pure fear. So just to add to the how horrible this is, if eradicate feels threatened, it will stand on its hind legs and let out a shrill shriek, calling its group mates to join and defend it.
Speaker: I definitely pissed. Here in that square, you call it a yow. I don't know what. It would just stand up and go reeee! And then eight more rat -a -tah. Oh, rat -a -kates would run out from behind the bins, behind the restaurant, and then all start going reeee!
Speaker: It'd be like one of the sirens at the end of the world. Just calling forth Gigantamax Blastoise. Oh god. Especially if they were shiny and they were that bright orange. Like a warning symbol. No thanks. I would piss.
Speaker: And I think the Pokemon agrees, because their next little factoid says that the best way to defend against a Rattakite in the home is to prevent the Rattata from invading the home in the first place before they evolve. So they're essentially saying, once they're in, you're fucked. A rat poison's not even gonna kill these fuckers.
Speaker: Nah, they'd eat it and be like, give me more. Nothing kills me. Give me more, bitch. They do then say alternatively, Persian and Perugly can deal with the radicate. But I wouldn't want to watch that. It would be like Tom and Jerry if they're on steroids with rabies. If you want the time I saw a sea goat eat, it's that pigeon on the right.
Speaker: They just traumatized me. Yeah. Oh Lord. You know, I'm thoroughly enjoying Raticate. I don't know about you. I think this might be one of our best ones. Yeah. Yeah. This is giving me unspoken trauma. This is my new sleep paralysis demon. No, mine's still, um, Gigantamax.
Speaker: Not gigantic, but the barely big, what's his name? The poison, Venuso. Oh. Is it the nice guy, but terrifying? Yeah, the one that was just going to kill us. I think a lot of these pogo one are just apt to kill us. This one might not be big, but he's got what it takes.
Speaker: So the Raticate does have an Elolan form, much like the Rattata. What would you call this one? Raticate? Raticate, yes. Raticate. What Raticate, please. Hello, Raticate. He looks like he's got a goatie. He's a dark normal type. What does it look like?
Speaker: It's got a goatie. It's black. He's got a mug on him, hasn't he? Yeah, hasn't he? It's them teeth. I can't go over him. It's the cheeks. It's got huge cheeks. That massive cheeks. A little goatie. It's like the beard Pokémon. The weird beard Pokémon. The dog that has a beard. Yeah, what is the dog that has a beard?
Speaker: Either Herdier or Maschief? Yeah, or like a real dog. Anyway, it's cool. A real dog, a Schnauzer? Schnauzer! Yeah, let me giggle it. I tell you what he looks like to me. He looks like a Brussels Griffon and you should Google that. It's a dog.
Speaker: Oh, Brussels Griffon. Oh my god, yeah, but with teeth. With gnashes. So this Pokémon looks like a Brussels Griffon dog with almighty gnashes. But it is not charming and affectionate. And he's got little grabby hands.
Speaker: He has. He is the boy cool with that. So he's now, he's still two foot four inches, but he now weighs 56 .2 pounds, which is 25 .5 kgs. Oh, he's a big boy, isn't he?
Speaker: He's a big chubby boy, which is interesting because, again, he's based off that black rat that moved over, but he has elements of a mafia crime lord, as he is known, we're going to get into it, for hoarding stolen goods and being able to control the rotators.
Speaker: And then again, Parallels with Gumshoes as being like the detectives busting the criminals. But he does look a bit like the like Don Mafia boss in like any Mafia movie. Yeah, he does. He looks like he's gonna come for you. Yeah. He really looks like... Have you seen Zootopia? Yeah. Oh, bloody enough that film.
Speaker: You know, they have the little, I don't know if they're hamsters or mice or something, but they have a wedding and then they have her dad, who's like the crime lord. He's like, you come to me on the eve of my daughter's wedding. He looks just like that guy. And I love it. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. So, and then the reason why he's so big is that in Alola, the ratacate have become heavier and darker due to its urban environment and higher calorie diet. Yeah, because it keeps doing all the food from... Mm hmm. And rather than just stealing anything like the ratata, this family like kind of the high quality, fine ingredients because they've got, they have taste.
Speaker: Yeah, because they're mafia crime bosses. So the Raticate in Alola have grown the really black fur to camouflage themselves due to being nocturnal. They now sport the squinty eyes and then are faced with the large cream -colour cheeks and the whiskers that again have the gender differences. So the females are just slightly smaller and I don't think they have the goatee.
Speaker: All right. Wonderful. Thank you. So would you like to learn a little bit about how they function in society? Do they function in society?
Speaker: They don't function great. So this ratakate variant uses its nest as a food stockpile, and they generally prefer to have the ratata it commands to go out and forage the food while it just remains at home eating everything it can.
Speaker: It is very selective in what it eats. However, it will only eat fresh, high quality foods, such as fruit or gourmet dishes. And then the rumor has it that even certain high class restaurants exploit this selectivity of the ratacate, and they will bring one into the restaurants to taste the new dishes. So it's Remy.
Speaker: It's Remy, if Remy was a Mafia crime boss. Yeah, basically. And I'm here for it, actually. And all he does is just sit and eat. Absolute spirit animal. Just sit and eat while its minions get the food for it. That's a dream. Tell me I'm wrong. You're not wrong. If I could swap lives with any Pokémon that we've covered so far, I'd pick this guy. Yeah, me too.
Speaker: He's not much to look at, but he's got taste. Preach it, sister. Do you know what I mean? Me and you, both. So the Ratakate are fiercely territorial against others of their own kind, engaging in, quote unquote, turf wars where the Rattata groups fight one another for control, only when all of his underlings have fallen
Speaker: Will an Alolan Raticate emerge to fight on its own? I thought it was interesting. I like how it waits for the minions to fall first. And then it comes up and is like, yeah, a bunch of waifs and useless, I will sort this on my own terms. And then he comes out waddling out of his hole. I like the fact he's got a waddle. Waddle, waddle, waddle. And the duck waddled up to the lemonest.
Speaker: There's no way this is not gonna waddle. Oh absolutely, like roll him down a hill at this point, you know what I mean? And then their web feet, which is a trait that they share with the Raticate, enable the Raticate to swim from island to island with surprising ease. Oh I like!
Speaker: Yeah, like a fat dog. They're terrible on land, but great in the water. Or a seal. Is that a dog? Can I pet that dog? Can I pet that dog? Can I pet that dog? No, it's a raticate. Leave it alone. Eat your house and steal all of your fine food. Don't let him take my house. Are you ready to move on to our questions section? Absolutely.
Speaker: So you're just hanging out back in Viridian City and you're just walking around and then you see a ratacate just chewing on an electric pole. What do you do? Why the hell is it chewing on an electric pole? I feel like it's going to gain all the power from the electricity. It's going to turn around and like electribolt me or some bullshit. You can use the wires as a whip.
Speaker: I don't know. I don't, I wouldn't want to take this one eye. You know what I mean? Once again, I'll take a fight eye and I'll be like, look at this fat rat. XOXA. That is the message you'd get from me. I'd just send up a thumbs up. Yeah. Wow. That's, that's probably for the best because you would take him home and he would eat your house. Yeah, I'm not having that.
Speaker: I'd, I would not be a human left. Like the paramedics would find me and I'd just be a head or something. Yeah. He didn't want to eat the head. No. He's keeping you like, um, I was going to say like Jeffrey Dahmer. That is really not, um, in good taste. No, but I'm here for it. Alternatively, you're on vacation in Alola and you've just gone out for a nice.
Speaker: good meal in a highly recommended, you know, five -star Michelin restaurant. And you turn around and you see sat on top of a table is a ratacate being served a dish. I'd say, oi, I want what he's having. Take a picture of the ratacate. Maybe try and even get a signature off him, you know? Ooh, yeah. Like, you know, Gordon Ramsay, but a ratacate.
Speaker: The Gordon Ramsay of the Pokémon world. Rata -kate. Exactly. I'm really underestimating him here. Brilliant. So what function do you think a regular old, basic Rata -kate would have? Nothing. Just a big rat, innit? The shiny one can be a traffic cone? Yeah. And also a thing of nightmares.
Speaker: Yeah, paralysis demon, l 'alame. Yeah, you can sleep through this. House demolition. Oh yeah, that could be good. Yeah, they could demolish demolition. Yeah, demolish some stuff. That'd be quite nice, actually. You could release like a group of the eight or 10 group into like an old town that needs to be taken down because it's all in ruins. Been there for a couple of weeks.
Speaker: Well, like an abandoned building, flatten it, ready for a new development. Move on to the next job. Yeah. Kind of love that for him. It's something. It gives him a purpose. Unlike Rattata. So what about Rattacate? Rattacate? Well, we already know that he likes the finer things in life.
Speaker: So he's just going to be a food taster. I reckon top men in politics would want a ratacate to make sure they're not getting poisoned. Oh, just keeping one with them is like a... I imagine Putin would carry one round with him. Well, I could just imagine any American president with a ratacate on their shoulder. Yeah, is this poisonous? No, thanks, mate.
Speaker: can direct them to wherever the best restaurant is. And I reckon it'll give you a bit of an edge too, because if this guy's known for being like the Don and Amafia, they can be like, yeah, and I'm the trainer of, you know, the number one geezer. I also reckon they'd be on Google Maps, recommended places all the time. It's like a Raticate Recommends blog.
Speaker: Yeah. I don't know what the TripAdvisor equivalent is in America, but I reckon that would be, you know. Yeah. So like restaurants on their website, they can have like a ratacate approval rating instead of like the Michelin stars. They get how eagerly the ratacate will eat their dishes. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. So what do you reckon a basic ratacate eats? Anything gets ends up.
Speaker: Yeah, steel, wood, food, legs, babies. Anything and everything. And it's a scavenging little shrieky bitch. Yeah, basically. We don't like it. And for the ratacate, we know only the best. Yeah. Top tier or no tier. Yeah. A bit of, um, what's, what's a good food? Like a caviar. Steak tartare.
Speaker: Oh, steak tartare for the ratacate ratata. Yeah, yeah, boy. So, could you eat a ratacate? Yeah. Yeah, again, we're going back to the rotisserie style. Yeah. Would you want to? Probs not. But if I found one in the forest nine eating, you're going on a stick mate and I'm rotisserie in you. Rotisserie in you. You're being rotisserated. You are rotisserated.
Speaker: What about the ratacate? Yeah, again, you could eat it. I just, I don't think you'd want to because we're predispositions to not enjoy eating, to not want to eat a rat or a rodent in general. I reckon this one would taste great because he's not eating garbage.
Speaker: Oh, absolutely. Like if that's, it's like when you have a grass -fed cow, right? Or grass -fed chicken. Well, you know, you can sell its quality. Was it the corn -fed chicken that you get from Waitrose? You know, the yellow ones. Yeah. Yeah. Weirdly, you know exactly what I mean.
Speaker: I do know exactly what you mean. So, you were just walking into a bar in Viridian City, and instantly when you walk in, a Raticate jumps on its hind legs and goes, reeee! And you went in that fight, do you?
Speaker: No, as soon as it starts squealing, not a chance, sweetheart. Just one of them could take it, no problem. But it starts squealing and its mates are coming. I'm out. Just piss and run. Yeah, absolutely. What about if you were just in that nice restaurant and maybe you said something about a dish and then the ratacate seems very offended.
Speaker: I could take on a singular Raticate. Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't take on a group of Raticates, but I could take on just one. Yeah, and then if he's the one initiating the fight, you know that he doesn't have any Rattatas because...
Speaker: It says that they only fight when it doesn't have minions. Exactly. So I know it's on its own, so I have no, no concerns about my winning. And let's be real, he's not moving anywhere fast. No, not at all. Look at the size of him. I could just push him over. He'd just get stuck. Yeah. Just stuck on its back. La dee la dee la dee, you know? You can force him to eat some McDonald's. Oh yeah, force for eating McDonald's.
Speaker: He'd hate that. That would just hurt his feelings. Seems so horrible yet. So simple. So that's it for our Raticate and Raticate. What do you think about these two? So I still don't like care for them. Raticate, admittedly, I kind of like him because he's a gangster. But I have to admit, I think this might be one of the funnest episodes we've done. It has been pretty good. Yeah.
Speaker: I wasn't sure, and even the normal Raticate, I was like, oh, there's not much in this research. But we gave it that promised pizzazz. We did. We went too far at points. I had a little tear coming out of my eye. So all in all, for actual Pokémon, don't really care for them still. But for this episode, 10 -10. 10 -10 enjoyed recommended Raticate Michelin style. Yeah.
Speaker: Exactly. I'd just say I'd eat us, but that just doesn't sound right. I'd eat us. I'd eat this podcast. That's what I'd do. Nom, nom, nom. Eat your phone. Yummy, yummy. And with that, I have no goodbye because I could not just say Ratic Cetata.
Speaker: No, you're out. No, I'm out. There's no primes for this. See you later, sewer rat. No, see ya. I could just say the word masticate again. Yeah, good point, well made. Alright, goodbye, we're gonna go masticate.
