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046/047: Paras & Parasect
15 Plays1 month ago
Meet Paras and Parasect, the closest Pokémon will ever get to a zombie apocalypse. These easily overlooked guys who apparent are not even crabs can somehow heal just about anything?
Join Katherine and Claudia as they stumble through the Pokédex and figure out which of these Pokemon might be semi-edible in a podcast full of stupidity and laughs.
Unown Radio is brought to you by Mugstain Productions.
-Find us on IG @unownradio
-Links: https://linktr.ee/unownradio
- Pokemon are licensed to Nintendo
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Transcript
Introduction to Unknown Radio
00:00:01
Speaker
This is a Muckstain Productions podcast.
00:00:22
Speaker
Hello, homies and trainers, and welcome to Unknown Radio, your Mugsane production Pokemon talk show where we take a peek at every Pokemon. I'm Claudia, and I'm here with my co-host and longtime partner in crime, Catherine.
00:00:35
Speaker
Hello, I'm Catherine, I bring the pizazz, Claudia brings us the facts, and together, we're Unknown Radio.
Revealing the Mystery Pokemon
00:00:42
Speaker
Hell yeah. And today, Catherine is going in completely blind. I'm excited. And has no idea who we're going to do today.
00:00:50
Speaker
But we are doing number 46 in the Pokédex. But before we dive into lucky number 46, we are going to be doing a little side mission.
00:01:02
Speaker
Side quest. Let's go. Side quest. or yque All right. And we are going to be talking about the Toshukasu. Do you have any idea what that is? No, but I'm here for it.
Real-World Fungus vs. Fiction
00:01:13
Speaker
Well, that is the name of the Japanese name for Caterpillar fungus, which is a real world fungus that replaces the host tissue and can affect the behavior of its insect host.
00:01:26
Speaker
That sounds gross. This is straight up Last of Us. Does it like eat off its brain or something? Like how is it changing the behaviour? Yes. So it latches on to, in this case, an insect and takes control of its entire body.
00:01:43
Speaker
Oh my God. Are we doing Paras? We might be. Oh, for God's sake. He's so boring. I'm making it fun. I'm making it fun. We're talking about the mushroom.
00:01:55
Speaker
Okay, right. So it eats off its brain. Yes. This type of fungus is often used in traditional Chinese medicine, specifically as an aphrodisiac and a treatment for ailments such as fatigue and cancer.
Paras and the Power of Parasitic Mushrooms
00:02:10
Speaker
Ooh, aphrodisiac. m So the Toshukasu are a rare species of parasitic mushroom that grows on Paris and Parasect.
00:02:22
Speaker
ah Eat its brain and make it horny or just eat its brain? Well, it just makes people horny if they use it. They don't make parishes. I mean, they might. They're breeding somehow.
00:02:33
Speaker
Exactly. you know ah It can't all be dittos. Do you know what mean? so And then these are actually a mushroom that exists in real life. Oh, interesting. By the way.
00:02:43
Speaker
So now we're switching into Pokan World, but those are actual mushrooms that can take over insects and in the real world, like zombie hosts. I'm going to do more research on that later because yeah that sounds exciting. And you should also watch The Last of Us.
00:03:00
Speaker
I feel like it will scare me and I won't sleep. This is essentially the same thing, but then they can take over humans. Yeah, maybe not. We'll see.
00:03:11
Speaker
So ah these spores are attached to Paris eggs, causing the hatchlings to be doused upon birth. And as it grows, so does the mushroom. Okay. And then ah the fungus scatters toxic spores from the mushroom cap on top of Paris and Parasect and use the host to help distribute the spores onto eggs or surrounding areas or other insect Pokemon.
00:03:36
Speaker
So in theory, we could have a Caterpie with a mushroom on its head. In theory, you could. Okay, that's interesting. I would love that. Just a whole bunch of weird mushroom Pokemon. It's like the Mushroom Kingdom from fucking Mario. Oh, ah I'd be so down for that.
00:03:55
Speaker
That'd be so sick. So sick. Especially if it properly changes how they act. So like you're like, look at this cute caterpillar. It turns around and just eats your face. Just tries to bite your ankles.
00:04:06
Speaker
Starts hissing. I hate insects. That would be the worst for me. I mean, look at the size of them, though. Do mean? If we're thinking about that, think about a caterpillar the size that of caterpillar already. That's terrible Horrifying.
00:04:20
Speaker
Absolutely. Horror. Horror. Horror. No words, just horror.
00:04:26
Speaker
So after covering that little mushroom boy, we are going to actually be moving into number 46 in the Pokédex. As you said, this is Paris. And do you have any idea what his tagline is?
00:04:38
Speaker
ah I hope it's the moon. but No, not the moon Pokémon. The mushroom Pokémon. It is absolutely the mushroom Pokémon. Dreamy.
00:04:50
Speaker
He is a bug grass type. and What does he look like? So for the longest time, I thought this guy was a crab with mushrooms on its back. It does kind of look like a crab with mushrooms on its back.
00:05:02
Speaker
It's got like pincers. Like a crab. Like a crab. And it's got legs on the back like a crab. And it's like shelly like a crab. But it's not a crab. but It's a weird insect. And it's got creepy tooth. ah Creepy tooth and two mushrooms that look like ears.
00:05:16
Speaker
Too many tooth. Many tooth and a black hole. we've We've gone from no tooth to too many tooth. Too many tooth and showing hole. hate it. It's like that ah vagina with teeth in it.
00:05:31
Speaker
Yes, that's what Paris is. That plus mushrooms and pincers. It does look like a crab though because it looks shiny. like It looks like the texture of like a crab or a lobster.
00:05:44
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Like, always thought it was a crap. So I'm actually, I have learnt something already. There you go. Beautiful. Because it's a bug type.
00:05:55
Speaker
Well, yeah, but i knew that, but i don't know why It's crap. So ah the shiny version essentially looks the same. It's just a darker kind of orange color.
00:06:07
Speaker
see, they didn't even effort into the shiny version. It's clearly not a well-liked Pokemon. Right. there Like a blue shiny would be really cool. Have this, but like blue or pink or green would be better. If you've had blue and then like,
00:06:21
Speaker
Bright orange mushrooms. That'd be sick. Yeah. sick. Put some extra into it, Nintendo. Come on. Or you can even make it like creepy mushroom and then make like the the Paris black and then like the mushrooms like black and white or like red and black or something. Like neon green.
00:06:38
Speaker
Whoa. Halloween-y. You're right. So the the Paris is a foot tall or long or however they measure it. um Yeah, not quite as bad as Caterpie, but pretty bad.
00:06:53
Speaker
wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley. No, with all them tooth.
00:07:00
Speaker
So he weighs 11.9 pounds, which is 5.4 kgs. Okay. type So fairly cat sized. Yeah, pretty hefty for a bug.
00:07:11
Speaker
Yeah, like a hefty crab. to You're a hefty crab, boy. So the the name Paris is just a shortening of the word parasite.
00:07:21
Speaker
Yeah, I assume so. Which I never knew as a kid. i just thought like Paris. Nice. Like the city. Wow, yeah. So yeah, parasite makes a lot more sense.
00:07:34
Speaker
I had no idea because I don't like this Pokemon. So I never had it. I didn't care about it. I think I had one at one point. Then you replaced it with something better.
00:07:44
Speaker
Yeah. You know, when I was trying to catch them all. So Paris appears to be based on the Cicada Nymph with some aspects of a crab. Yep.
00:07:56
Speaker
Nailed it. It's... ah Mushrooms, as we said, um is based on the cordyceps fungi, um which we talked about before, which um is a parasite and a mind control fungi, which can control several species of insects in order to in order to propagate.
00:08:16
Speaker
Lovely. It's a cave, a cave boy. A cave boy. And I'm not good at science words. Neither am I. All right, you ready to get stuck in? I am indeed-o. so the paris are covered in fungal spores upon birth, like we've learned already, specifically that of a variety known as the Toshukasu.
00:08:37
Speaker
As the paris grows, so do the mushrooms on its back, which are not present at birth and do not emerge until later in development. Why do they sprinkle the spores on the eggs then?
00:08:48
Speaker
I assume like when they hatch, it will crawl into like its... mouth hole or something and start fermenting inside and kind of growing inside of it before it pops out.
00:09:00
Speaker
ah Like I used to believe would happen if I swallowed an apple seed. Yes, and you'd pop out a tree. Yeah. yeah Exactly that. Perfect. I understand it now. Paris feed by burrowing and sucking nutrients out of tree roots.
00:09:15
Speaker
In turn, the mushrooms drain nutrients out of their host Paris bodies and Paris must feed ravenously as a result. that That's actually a little bit terrifying.
00:09:26
Speaker
o yeah So if they stop eating, they'll die quicker.
Parasect's Evolution and Identity Crisis
00:09:32
Speaker
Like, if anyone stops eating, they'll die. But this thing is trying to support these mushrooms at such a rate that they have to continuously eat or they'll just be...
00:09:43
Speaker
But then they're just killing trees. Yes. So, I mean, big man Venusaur would not be happy, would he? Venusaur would not be happy at all.
00:09:55
Speaker
Mm-mm-mm. Imagine mut those mushrooms on a Venusaur. Oh God, that would murder you in an instant. That would be awful. Anyway, sidetrack, but that was a good sidetrack. Recent discoveries have shown that the mushrooms also control part of the host's brain and are in fact the ones that signal Paris to burrow for roots.
00:10:15
Speaker
Okay. So at what point does the Paris die? Because at this point, it is not a Paris, it is the mushroom taking over and having a meat suit of a Paris.
00:10:30
Speaker
ah what Does the mushroom somehow have a brain that can control the suit? By the suit, I mean Paris. I don't know, unless and the mu the mushroom becomes sentient when it controls the brain.
00:10:47
Speaker
I can't deal with a sentient mushroom right now. That's too much. It's just kind of festering in there. And then eventually it kind of gets into the brain and is like, oh, I'm now self-aware. And I am now this Paris.
00:11:02
Speaker
That is more of a terrifying thought than mushroom that controls your brain. Yeah. Yeah. I hate it. It becomes one with the Paris and it like the Paris joins it.
00:11:17
Speaker
Okay, that would be that like a ah symbiotic relationship. Yeah. i I do like that. like with Without the mushroom, the Paris is just an insect, but with the mushroom, it has like you know the poison powders and the the moves and the defense mechanism. So it's like, hey, I'm controlling your brain or signaling your brain to do certain things.
00:11:43
Speaker
and you have to keep me alive, in return, we can have a more fulfilling life than just living in a hole. Maybe, yeah. It's like Paris sold its soul.
00:11:54
Speaker
One can't survive without the other. Yeah. Yeah, because if you take the mushroom out, the Paris will die, and then the mushroom cannot survive without the Paris. Yeah. Huh.
00:12:06
Speaker
Food for thought. food Definitely food for thought. So, ah Paris can be found in damp, dark areas where fungi thrive. Sunlight and dryness can damage their bodies.
00:12:18
Speaker
That checks out. It's a crab. It's a mushroom on a crab. So to defend themselves, the fungi release spores to inflict a variety of status effects.
00:12:29
Speaker
So because one cannot live without the other. Yeah. So the, the mushroom protects the Paris. The Paris feeds the mushroom. Perfect. we've We've fucking cracked it like a crab leg.
00:12:40
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Paris is sometimes seen as pests as they harm tree roots, like you said. However, since they generally live in areas away from humans, they normally cause few problems.
00:12:54
Speaker
Okay, but apart from deforestation, whatever. Yeah, what so not a problem for a human, but a problem for a Venusaur. And, you know, for the world. And but the the entire planet and the entire ecosystem.
00:13:07
Speaker
Yeah, but we'll circle back to deforestation another day. And ah the mushrooms on their back are considered very valuable in traditional medicine. They are dried and ground to create a powder that is said to grant the consumers long lives.
00:13:22
Speaker
Do you reckon they snort it or drink it? Oh, I don't know. How ah how is like traditional mushroom medicine usually taken? ah They probably make it into a tea, don't they?
00:13:34
Speaker
Yeah, like a tea or maybe a pill. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, you get Lion Mane now mushroom pills, can't you? Oh. Well, there you go. Maybe a pill. Pill form. Yeah. Nice.
00:13:44
Speaker
I do like the idea of a bunch of people in the Pokemon universe just snorting it, though. Yeah, me too. This is how I live a long life. Like 95-year-old.
00:13:55
Speaker
Just doing lines of shrooms. yeah
00:14:00
Speaker
So, um finally, the Toshikatsu mushroom from Alola is said to be of a lower quality just because it's such a hot area.
00:14:12
Speaker
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. all That's it for Paris. Loved it, actually. I'm not going to lie. I hated Paris, but not not so sure I hate him now.
00:14:23
Speaker
It gives it a little bit of something. Yeah, like before it was just a weird crab boy, but it's, well, not a crab, but a crab. But now I know that it has to live with a mushroom. Well, are you ready to evolve it to see if you'll be equally happy with the evolution?
00:14:41
Speaker
Or you'd hate it? Yeah, let's go. I'm ready.
Impact of Parasect on Ecosystem and Medicine
00:14:44
Speaker
Alright, we're evolving. This is number 47 in the Pokedex. This is Parasect. Do you know what its tagline is?
00:14:51
Speaker
It's gonna just be Mushroom Pokemon again, isn't it? Absolutely bang on. Yeah. What does it look like? It looks like a hermit crab, but instead of like a shell, it's a mushroom.
00:15:05
Speaker
Yeah, see, I like this one. This, I mean, this is crab. Yeah. Still crab, but but like The other one looks like a crab, but it wasn't really supposed to be a crab. This one looks what it is.
00:15:17
Speaker
you know what I've just remembered with Paris? Sorry, just going back. yeah Remember in the old video games, though they didn't look like mushrooms. It looked like it had a little bow on its head. Yeah. Or ears. This one looks like a mushroom.
00:15:30
Speaker
It does. hermit crab mushroom. A hermit... A her-mushroom. Yeah. No, it didn't work. but The Hermishroom Pokemon. The Mushrab.
00:15:43
Speaker
Mushrab. And then the shiny version of this one is a little bit more interesting because the actual crab itself is yellow and then its mushroom is like a peach and a yellow instead of the pink and yellow.
00:15:59
Speaker
Okay, so they've mixed up a little bit. Right, why couldn't they do that with the last one? Because it's a rubbish Pokemon, aren't they? Yeah, true. yeah This is also a bug grass type. It stands at 3 foot 3 inches and weighs 65 kgs or pounds or twenty nine point five kgs um big boy i was a big boy i wonder if like It weighs quite a lot for its size.
00:16:31
Speaker
Yeah. Do you think it could move fast? No. I reckon the weight of the mushroom i holds it down. And then it's got to run sideways like the fucking hermit crabs.
00:16:43
Speaker
Well, yeah, because that's see the only way it will move because it's crab. It would be really cool if it keeps growing. I mean, the mushroom will grow with it. I was like, because hermit crabs get naked and get a new shell.
00:16:55
Speaker
Yeah. But then no, the mushroom would grow with it. Never mind. I thought you were thinking the mushroom kept growing, but the bug didn't. So eventually like the mushroom literally engulfed the bug.
00:17:06
Speaker
Oh, it probably does. That would be creepy. Yeah, because that would be how it would die. because That's the same thing with any kind of symbiotic relationship like that. Eventually the thing that's invading the host gets too big for the host's body.
00:17:22
Speaker
Yeah. That's essentially what cancer is. Yeah. So, oh, so then it was just completely and it would just be a lump of mushroom. Just, just a hard shroom.
00:17:34
Speaker
Just chilling, looking like a weird hat.
00:17:39
Speaker
Oh, I'm going to put this heart on my head. Oh, no. Oh, no. My brain. So Parasect may be a combination of parasite and insect.
00:17:51
Speaker
And then the actual Parasect itself is based on a hermit crab with a mushroom for a for a shell. In concept, it could be inspired by ants that are infected with mushroom spores that take take control of the host ant's brain and sprout from its head or its back.
00:18:09
Speaker
It's creepy that it's a real life mushroom. Yeah. Can you imagine ants with mushrooms coming out of their heads? No. i hate that. yeah Also, just notice, this geezer, no eyeball. Like, it's got eyeballs, but no dots in the eyes.
00:18:26
Speaker
Yeah. I don't like... Maybe... all has it lost all brain activity? Oh, or has it lost its sight?
00:18:37
Speaker
Are we now just, you know... Using the power of mushrooms. oh Sentient. Well, because you know like whens in zombie movies, they kind of white out the eyes. Yeah.
00:18:49
Speaker
Is it kind of like that? They've lost. Maybe. It's creepy. Whatever it is. Yeah, whatever it is. I hate it. I don't like it. All right. You ready to get stuck in? I am indeedy. So when the Paris evolve, their fungi entirely overtake their bodies and minds. Okay. Yeah. That's why they haven't got pupils.
00:19:07
Speaker
Oh, we get them. we we We cracked it, though, before we learned. We did. Look at us. Smart. Parasect dwell in damp places due to the fungi's own preference for moisture, and then they compete with Shinotic for land, which is like a newer Pokemon, which is like a glowing mushroom.
00:19:28
Speaker
like There's a lot of mushrooms. Yeah. It's the one that looks like a little person with like a huge mushroom hat. No. ah Nothing.
00:19:39
Speaker
Nothing. No idea what that is. I tried to Google it, but don't how to spell it. And I've just learned that cyanotic means a bluish or purplish discolorization of your hands. so Oh, well, there we go. We're a step ahead when we get to... I don't even know what region this Pokemon's from.
00:19:57
Speaker
I'm looking at a picture of it and I have no idea where that Pokemon is from. It doesn't it isn't really like a Pokemon. It looks like something more from the um and those cute little anime movies.
00:20:09
Speaker
Oh, I found it. it It looks like it's wearing an old-timey, you know, like those old people, so the yeah umbrellas. Yeah. The big parasols, but a mushroom. Yeah.
00:20:21
Speaker
On his head. Love that. So the Parasect swarm at the roots of trees, draining them until there is nothing left before moving onto new trees together.
00:20:33
Speaker
Oh, lovely. just Deforestation. yes Menace. But we can't blame the Parasect now because it's not there anymore. It's just the shroom. It's just a shroom. So this isn't even a Pokemon. This is a plant.
00:20:45
Speaker
Yeah. so why are we doing it? Alright, I'm ahead out. I'm gonna go now, bye. So that the Parasect are highly aggressive, attacking foes with their claws using, like, Fury Cutter or those kinds of moves using their gross little pincers.
00:21:05
Speaker
Yep. Who would want this Pokemon? I'm sorry, you don't have a Pokemon. You have a Sentient Mushroom Zombie. I couldn't tell you. um ah Although saying that, I have just done my own little bit of research because I was very interested, like you, was why they would want them, right?
00:21:21
Speaker
Right. But what they did, so in an anime episode, Cassandra tried to evolve her Paris into a Parasect to harvest the spores and produce a miracle potion.
00:21:32
Speaker
To improve Pokemon's attack, power, defense, that, that, and the other. And then her and her grandmother set up a business to produce and sell miracle potions. That's so happy. Yeah, so obviously this mushroom, whilst terrifying, obviously has some magic healing powers for humans and Pokemon.
00:21:53
Speaker
So it's like, hey, I love my Paris. so I'm going to evolve you, effectively killing you completely because I want to use your body. yes Sounds about right.
00:22:04
Speaker
Yeah, well worth it. We don't question some of the ah Pokemon
Non-Battle Uses and Ethical Debates
00:22:08
Speaker
morals, do we? Let's be honest. No, we don't. There's a lot. There's a lot of issues. We have notes. ah So the mushrooms on their backs also scatter poisonous spores around them. The larger the fungus, the more virulent the toxins.
00:22:21
Speaker
And these spores are seeped into teas in traditional medicine. Yeah. So teas. So tease. ah Collectors are known to pay large sums of money or teach trainers Pokemon's new moves in exchange for these valuable big mushrooms.
00:22:39
Speaker
Okay. now Well, now we know that they can create miracle pokeker potions. That makes sense. It makes sense why they cost a lot of money. Yeah. So throughout their lives, the mushrooms continue to drain their hosts until there is nothing left. At that point, they scatter the store the spores over the host's eggs to restart the cycle.
00:22:58
Speaker
So yeah, they keep growing until there's nothing left. They are, well, parasites, aren't they? Yeah. And then they're like, right, we're done. Let's scatter some spores and then take over the babies.
00:23:10
Speaker
Take over the babies. It is time. They're so sad. Yeah. If a Parasect's mushroom is entirely removed, the Pokemon enter a comatose state indefinitely.
00:23:23
Speaker
So they don't die? They're just in a comatose state. They're just nothing. So when these people, ah collectors that go around and pay money for those big mushrooms, yeah they just take them off the Pokemon and just leave the Pokemon there in a coma?
00:23:38
Speaker
That's horrible. Because I guess that they're brain dead. Without the mushroom, they have no brain anymore. Yeah, because the mushroom has become sentient, apparently. That's a horror movie.
00:23:50
Speaker
Yeah, um we could make a horror movie based purely on these two Pokemon. Yeah, and someone would have to like put that weird hat shell on their head, and I wonder what will happen. Well, you could be the guinea pig.
00:24:03
Speaker
i I would be down you to see what happens. Drama degree. Just go, stop The Last of Us, infect everybody, zombie apocalypse.
00:24:15
Speaker
Let's go. Let's go, let's go by way
00:24:21
Speaker
All right, you ready to move on to our question section? Well, I am indeedy. All right. So um if you were just walking around, we'll say it's like a nice drizzly day in Viridian Forest. We'll go back there. We love it there so much.
00:24:36
Speaker
mayday We do, we do. And you're just walking around seeing what's, you know, going on. You've only really been here on sunny days. And then a little Paris just jumps out from behind a tree root and looks at you. What would you do?
00:24:51
Speaker
I just feel like I'd take a photo and walk on. ah don't think I'd do anything exciting. yeah Because they're not nice to look at. No. I'd just be like, look what I've just found.
00:25:03
Speaker
you know Get it for my Pokedex if I've got one. Move on. That's true, yeah. Catch it for your Pokedex. Catch and release. Catch and release. and Exactly. ah So you take a picture little Paris and then you hear some rustling behind you. You turn around and this pupil-less, big parasect walks out. just the ah What would you do then?
00:25:26
Speaker
I mean, again, probably just catch and release. Or, I'm sorry to say this, catch it and sell it if it's worth that much money. Oh, yeah, you're right. You know?
00:25:37
Speaker
going to get that dollar somehow for all of these excursions I'm taking. Right, and just catch it and then don't let it out the Pokeball so you don't bond with it. Oh, I ain't bonding with that thing. No. It's being sold for its part, which is a horrible, horrible thing to say, but it's the only option.
00:25:53
Speaker
Right, you'd need money for those Pokeballs to complete your Pokedex. Exactly, and in this economy, you know? Take what you can get. Exactly, mate. So what functions other than battling that would a par... Or for both of them, what would both of them?
00:26:08
Speaker
Well, we've already established magic potions. Magic potions, money. what Yeah, well, the mushrooms are used in ancient Chinese medicine, aren't they? Yeah.
00:26:22
Speaker
And well, there's apparently Pokemon health. Wonderful. I mean, me and you, if we wanted to, we could set up a business selling some potions. so you could have You could farm these super easy.
00:26:33
Speaker
ah You could. You just need a cave. Just a cave and a bunch of... And then it will just keep working itself. Just keep going. Yeah. Because you've got to think, like, one parasect will probably lay a couple of eggs, which it will then infect.
00:26:48
Speaker
So it's like, it keeps giving. It is the farm that keeps giving, yeah. Ideally, you could wait until the end of the parasite's life so the mushroom is ah is at its biggest and it's going to die anyway. it lays its eggs...
00:27:02
Speaker
It puts its spores out and then you can just rip the mushroom off, you know, chuck the parasite in the bin and then sell the mushroom as its biggest. And then it's already provided the spores for the next generation.
00:27:15
Speaker
That way, you know, you you don't have to. It's going to die anyway. Yeah. so you might as well just take the mushroom and use it for your own game. Yeah. Everybody is happy. Exactly.
00:27:26
Speaker
um Deforestation. oh Oh, if you want to like clear a place, yeah, instead of bulldozing, I suppose. but and that's what that's ah That's a side gig we could have for our mushroom farm.
00:27:39
Speaker
For our morally wrong lives. Yeah. yeah Be like, hey, you need that space clearing? I got some hungry fucking Paris and Parasite. I'll just bring them over up and down.
00:27:52
Speaker
I guess it depends how badly it kills the tree, right? Because if it just eats the root and then you can cut down the tree and then use that tree for timber, that would be okay. But if it kills the tree root and the tree completely dies, then it'd be useless.
00:28:05
Speaker
Well, it says that parasex swarm the roots and drain them until there is nothing left. Yeah, so we can even reuse that wood. I mean, you might be able to use the... I mean, they're just drinking the sap.
00:28:18
Speaker
Yeah. So you could you could use that kind of dry wood for something. I mean, I suppose it'd be good kindling. Kindling, charcoal. yeah that sort of vibe.
00:28:30
Speaker
Yeah, fine to use, fine to use. So what do these Pokemon eat? um Berries. Sap. Berries and sap.
00:28:42
Speaker
but Berries and sap. Berries and sap. I've never laughed when I was berries and Berries sap. That's Parasects, Carl. I can't imagine anything else. They just suck the life out of trees, don't they?
00:28:54
Speaker
Yeah. And as always, berries, because name a Pokemon that doesn't like berries. Oh, they all and then candy. berry Pokemon eat berries and candy. That's true, actually. ah Could we eat Paras and Parasects?
00:29:08
Speaker
ah No, because they're poisonous, remember? Yeah. I mean, they're not a poison type. They're bug grass. I guess, I mean, you can eat the mushroom for medicine.
00:29:19
Speaker
For medical purposes, we will be eating the, well, we'll be drinking the mushrooms. But there's something about like an infected insect that I wouldn't want to eat.
00:29:31
Speaker
Either of those things. Yeah, I wouldn't. If knew where it'd come from, i wouldn't want to eat it. And then what if you eat it and then you have the mushroom inside you, not in a healthy way?
00:29:43
Speaker
Zombie apocalypse.
Hypotheticals and Changing Perspectives
00:29:44
Speaker
Yeah, then we're all doomed, right? So you may as well kill all the trees you want because we're going to die anyway. All right, so we can't eat this. And so you're wandering around your Viridian Forest at nighttime this time. Ooh.
00:29:57
Speaker
Yeah, and then you ah kind of looking around and you see a cave with some, like, flashing lights and some bass music from coming inside this cave.
00:30:09
Speaker
Oh, I'm excited. ah love a cave party. You wander in and there's people just dancing, you know, imagine like a machoke wearing a netted crop top. dancing. and This is like an after hours.
00:30:21
Speaker
Yeah, he would be wearing a netted crop top. Like a vest. Yeah. yeah and pina The Pokemon Pink Pony Girl. So you you walk in there, ah you put on your own kind of little netted crop top.
00:30:34
Speaker
You're dancing. You're having a good time. You're hanging with ah all these machokes. And what else would look good in a crop top? Oh, a Nido King. Chameleon. Oh, a Nido King and a crop top.
00:30:46
Speaker
The Nidoking in a crop top, dancing around. Nidoking. Anyway, this bar. We've set the scene. We've gone off track. We're just thinking about beefy male Pokemon and crop tops. It's fine.
00:30:57
Speaker
We should do our whole episode on that. um Gay icons of Pokemon. In the Pokemon universe. So ah you're dancing, but you step back and you accidentally step on the little pincer hand of a Paris.
00:31:11
Speaker
He's pissed. ah His mushroom's telling him, hey, bud, we're going to start a fucking fight. Who would win? Right. I reckon based purely on his height and weight, I could pick him up and drop kick him.
00:31:25
Speaker
its Yeah. Yeah. We'd have to be slightly worried about those spores, but I don't think that amount of spores would poison a human. and Yeah, no, because it's tiny, the mushrooms are small, and it's not a poison-type Pokemon.
00:31:40
Speaker
Yeah, so I reckon I'd be alright. Yeah. Alright, so you you've drop-kicked this fucking Paras out of the club, but yeah ejected, ah his buddy comes up, the Parasect, and he's pissed because you've thrown his butt out of the club, and you know what?
00:31:56
Speaker
He doesn't like the crop tops, so he starts swinging hands. Who would win? Can I grab his mushroom off at him and pull it off? Yes.
00:32:07
Speaker
There you go. Done. That's exactly what I was thinking too. like This thing is so easy to defeat. yeah You just got to wrangle it. I'm sure your choke would help you. could probably just kick it. He's a real Let's be honest.
00:32:19
Speaker
Just kick it off. Yeah. Easy. Yeah. Because it's only one meter tall, isn't it? Or something. ah You know. 3.3 foot. So yeah, about a meter tall.
00:32:29
Speaker
Yeah. So I could just kick that. Just kick the shroom off him. And then sell it. Yeah. So you're the real winner in all the ways. i am. There we go. I've won. I've defeated them both.
00:32:41
Speaker
Me and them match up, go back to dancing and drinking our daiquiris. ah You know, and a mushroom richer. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, you bet I'm selling that. So ah that's it for our Paris and Parasect.
00:32:53
Speaker
What do you reckon? Do you know what? I actually quite like them now. Me too. We've not used them. We'd never choose it. But weirdly like them. ah think they just They're just different.
00:33:05
Speaker
Yeah. like i like we As always, I like the fact that there's a backstory to why they're a bit weird. Mm-hmm. You know, there's the mushroom thing. That's kind of cool. A sentient mushroom.
00:33:17
Speaker
You know, we've not seen that before. No, and it it's like it fits in. Like there's a little niche in the market for this guy. Yeah, exactly. He's the Shroom Boy. And we can sell him.
00:33:28
Speaker
We can do all sorts. So yeah, I'm a fan. Yeah, I would give this like a solid 7 out of 10. Ooh, high praise for the Paras.
00:33:39
Speaker
But I might go for the same, you know. Because it's interesting. Yeah, exactly. would never have this Pokemon. but we We started to war we started i but with backstory. That's quite a nice. Start with the context.
00:33:55
Speaker
We started this be saying, I don't like this Pokemon. And as soon as we like, oh, it's Paris, you're like, I hate that one. I know. And i you know what? I'll eat my hat because he's not too bad.
00:34:08
Speaker
Eat your mushroom hat. I'll eat my mushroom hat. All right, Paris and Paraset, you have been a dream. We'll catch you on the flip side.
Conclusion and Next Episode Tease
00:34:16
Speaker
Yeah. you always We'll see again ah next week for another Pokemon that we think is boring.
00:34:24
Speaker
oh it's going to be another surprise. I want to hear nothing. All right. Thank you for listening in and we'll see you next time. Bye.