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S2E11: Love & Destiny
31 Plays4 months ago
Welcome back to another episode of Spiritually Desperate where we do another deep dive into the topic of love, covering free will, destiny, karma and more.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Spiritually Desperate'
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey everyone, welcome to Spiritually Desperate with myself, Psychic Medium, Jimmy Bay, and my co-host, spiritual enthusiast, Danny and Maya. Please join us as we deep dive into the soul, connect with spirit to help answer some of life's challenges.
00:00:15
Speaker
We'll be discussing a variety of topics to help guide you and keep you empowered. Let's begin.
Jimmy's 50th Birthday and Relationship Excitement
00:00:21
Speaker
Hey, good day everyone. Welcome to Spiritually Desperate with your host, Jimmy Bay, Psychic Medium, and Maya and Danny. How is everyone today? I'm good, Jimmy. and We just have to say happy a birthday. Am I allowed to say that on air? You want me to edit that part out?
00:00:40
Speaker
You can say it on air, yeah. I made it through my decade, thank God. I finally turned 50, and I'm like excited about this decade. And um I'm excited about today's episode because we're going to be speaking on the topic of love, dating, and relationships to continue our love series.
00:00:57
Speaker
How are you feeling, Danny? I'm good. Happy birthday. going to be a new era for you. You're going find love. I hope. I hope. I've been trying to do a lot of, there's a lot of changes going on.
00:01:12
Speaker
And that so far, I'm very happy with 50 and the energy that it's giving off and the vibration that I'm in.
Is Love at First Sight Real?
00:01:20
Speaker
This is not a spiritual question. This is just a question for you. and Or I shouldn't say, this is not a question for spirit.
00:01:32
Speaker
Do you believe in love at first sight? ah Me personally, I believe yes and no.
00:01:40
Speaker
I want to say yeah. i'm gonna say yeah I think there's a knowingness of first sight. I don't want to say it's love at first sight, a knowingness of first sight where you just have an understanding that somebody is going to be impactful in your life.
00:01:55
Speaker
And if you're talking romantically, I do believe that can happen as well. You just kind of recognize your partners right off the bat. And, um, usually know at some point, I would call it at some point there's a knowingness. It might not be immediately, but it doesn't take long to recognize but what works for you and what doesn't.
00:02:14
Speaker
Okay. All right. Dani, do you believe in love at first
00:02:20
Speaker
sight? Dani's like, don't believe in love. no just kidding.
00:02:27
Speaker
Um, you know, um in my 20s, I would have said yes. But as I've grown up, I think it's more of and attractiveness or something that draws you in versus on a deeper level of like actual genuine don love.
00:02:44
Speaker
But I think they're, you know, I don't think I could just look at someone and just fall in love like instantly. In my 20s, yes. You lost that first sight. Yeah. But yeah, no, I think I would need to, but I'm a slow burn.
00:02:58
Speaker
It would take me like 10 years of fall in love, so. but Just kidding. That is the most popcorn thing to say. so funny about love. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I don't know.
00:03:10
Speaker
But no, I guess, I guess, um I guess no would be the answer. one How about you? Me? I think, I think I believe in lust at first sight. I think that maybe, don't know, just by looks wise, I think your energy can be drawn to someone at first sight.
00:03:32
Speaker
But I think lust plays a big role in that. And then for me, love would have to be obviously getting to know someone. And i yeah, I think it's just like you're just drawn to them. And I think a big part of it's lust and a big part of it's energy.
Recognizing Significant People Spiritually
00:03:46
Speaker
Well, the one thing I can add to that is when it comes to your significant partners, and I've spoken a little bit about this before, there are significators, indicators of the person being meant for you.
00:03:59
Speaker
for sometimes it might be the smell of a cologne, or ah for women it might be a piece of jewelry that a man happens to notice on her, her hair, the eyes, people say the smile.
00:04:10
Speaker
They do give you indicators and spirit, reminders of important people. So you do get a little bit of that. I agree with Danny. I don't think um ah don't think initially you know I think there has to be a little bit of workings in it, and as you're saying too, Maya, but I also think that you don't you don't have to say yes or no.
00:04:32
Speaker
and don't think it's a yes or no question. I think it's like a knowingness question. I'll go back to that. i I do think you just kind of know people are important in your life. It's like when you meet that friend, if you've ever made friends very fast, very quickly, and it just kind of instantly works and you just know they're supposed to be in your life.
00:04:51
Speaker
Yeah. Or you get love bombed and you think they're supposed to be in your life and then they turn out to be a lesson. Yes, in today's age. I pop. It's a big thing. so um no Again, I'm sorry.
00:05:05
Speaker
No, no, go ahead. I just know that they give us, um I know spirit gives us indicators. I can tell you certain things that I like about certain people that are important people. Spirit gives us indicators. I do know friends in my life that I just knew were meant to be my friends.
00:05:21
Speaker
And it was their aura, their energy, something about them, even their jobs that drew me to them. It's something that could be very significant that brings the partner energy in
00:05:33
Speaker
So I know we were talking about this right before we jumped on, which I wish we were kind of recording that, but because I think it's hard.
Destiny vs. Free Will in Relationships
00:05:42
Speaker
It was harder for me to wrap around this idea where, so everyone we meet in our life romantically is faded in some way written in our contracts and but we're But we have free will, so we might have a plethora of people that are written in, but it's not like we're going to date all of them and who we end up with long-term is up to us, or is that already like faded in, contracted in?
00:06:09
Speaker
What is going on there? Some of it, it's a little bit of everything, like an everything bagel. Love those. It's a little bit, ah but some most of your partners, your significant romantic partners, life partners,
00:06:24
Speaker
people that are going to journey in your life are written in. You write them in, you pick them in your group, you pick them outside your group sometimes because you want contrast to grow, which I hope I didn't recommend that.
00:06:36
Speaker
but But mostly it's people that are in your cluster as well that you've incarnated many, many lives with. And where free will comes in those people are already lined up. They're already assigned to you. And you're right, Maya. It doesn't mean that you're going to date them or end up with them.
00:06:52
Speaker
That's where free will comes in. You or they have the right to say no, or it just doesn't get off the ground and it doesn't get to the level it needs to get to. It doesn't deepen. And sometimes we don't get the soul lessons because remember if it's a romantic partner or somebody significant, there's a soul lesson than usually tied to it where both people can grow.
00:07:14
Speaker
And sometimes the gift out of that growth is the romantic relationship. Dana?
00:07:19
Speaker
So, And this is not me coming for spirit. This is a genuine question. So when you always tell me, Dani, you're pushing back your timeline. You're pushing back your timeline.
00:07:29
Speaker
You just pushed back your timeline. That's free will doing that. So would that mean, like, I may not meet all those people I was supposed to do? um was supposed to because I pushed it back.
Impact of Free Will on Meeting Significant Others
00:07:44
Speaker
A couple of things. The pushback a little It doesn't mean you may not get the volume of people that you signed on to me. But let me explain something that's a wild card here. And this would be a wild card for you.
00:07:57
Speaker
ah Some people are just destined. Like I've been single forever. I've dated forever and I've been single forever. I've just told both of you about my dating stories, which are horrific.
00:08:07
Speaker
However, i know there's a partner for me. I innately know at the core of me, there's a partner for me. And I know no matter what I do to push forward or pull back, that that person will come in their own time, their own right.
00:08:23
Speaker
So there are some things that are destined. So there's a little bit of destiny there too. But it doesn't mean, i'm and as far as missing them, if it's destined and not predestined, destined, you will not miss them.
00:08:38
Speaker
So... When you say destined, okay, could you, i mean, i mean, I'm just going to be blunt here. You could be destined, but like you can meet them when you're 90. Is that still destiny?
00:08:55
Speaker
Yes. and You hope it's not 90. But the thing is when, when we have talked and this is not for for you, but in the context of what you're speaking of, it's,
00:09:08
Speaker
The lack of taking opportunity to move yourself forward, to take that chance. But if there's a destined partner, they will find you. it's It's taking opportunities as they come. And that again goes back to free will of us, of the person making the choice.
00:09:26
Speaker
Question, follow up on that. So let's say that the pushing back the timeline, let's say if she quote unquote didn't push back the timeline, she would have met Leroy in her twenties and that would have been her person.
00:09:38
Speaker
But now she has pushed back the timeline. So it's no longer Leroy and it's going to be Dustin in her thirties. Like, is that how that works? Like it's obviously not that Leroy is going to still find her at some point.
00:09:50
Speaker
It could be. you think somebody else comes in? Like what I'd like to call, I like, I like to call them the runner up. They're not the runner up, but I like call them. Yeah. They usually mean. Okay. But it's a different person. It's not, it's like, for example, is it like, if I am destined to be with Leroy,
00:10:06
Speaker
but I have pushed back my timeline for X, Y, and Z reasonings. Maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe I was doing some own internal work. But if I miss that window to be with Leroy, then it's not like Leroy is going to wait till in my thirties and forties and fifties. Right.
00:10:22
Speaker
Then basically I get the runner up because I put it back. my timeline It depends. If Leroy is your person, Leroy is your person. The thing is,
00:10:33
Speaker
we We don't remember our life path. That's the thing. We don't always recall our life path and things. So that's, but one thing I could tell you where they send those other people, the people that you chose also like Dustin, as you were saying, would be sometimes they got to speed things along because as you're getting older, things come faster.
00:10:59
Speaker
They won't because our lives are shorter. Like as you're getting older, I'm in my 50s. I would hope to meet somebody sometime in my 50s, maybe 60s, but it depends on my work.
00:11:10
Speaker
The other thing that I would like to clarify here with this is it also depends on the person's soul work because Leroy might be working to get to Danny, but Leroy is not getting his messages. So Leroy is not doing his work.
00:11:23
Speaker
So then Dustin pops in because that's the other person she chose that she could potentially be with. And that's who she ends up with. So we all got to do our own work. So we're not pushing back certain and opportunities that we may have.
00:11:39
Speaker
It's not always you. Like I could be doing it. No, it's not always you. No. Yeah. Leroy. That's messing up. ah Damn it. Leroy. Get your shit together. Well, well, for instance, to bring some of my life into it, there's been people I've been seeing and I got the message.
00:11:57
Speaker
but they're not getting the message. It doesn't mean that they're not getting it. It's very slow on the uptake and the willingness to change, which the willingness to change and grow the free will.
00:12:08
Speaker
doesn't mean they're a bad person. doesn't mean it's a situation, but spirit is not going to keep me with somebody that's going to delay me if I'm growing and evolving.
00:12:19
Speaker
So there's a and out of the people that I may have chose to meet, these are even the people that you go on one single date with. It's that kind of energy. So those people are going to start to line up and open up doors when it's time.
00:12:33
Speaker
But if it's somebody that you're destined to be with, if you want to go back to destiny, that person, you're not going to know, but you'll know when you meet them. Because if I read you, for instance, Danny, and I keep saying you're having a partner come on, there's a partner coming in, that partner has to show up. That means it's destined at some point on your path.
00:12:55
Speaker
And I agree with you. It's not about what you're not doing. Sometimes it is about what they're not doing. And it this is relationships and human beings tend to focus a lot of heaviness on romantic relationships.
00:13:12
Speaker
And spirit has a love hate with that. But um because there's so many more fulfilling love stories and relationships in our life other than romantics. we don't even pay attention to or nurture.
00:13:25
Speaker
However, we're talking about romantic partnerships. um If it's destined to find you, it'll find you. If they're not doing their soul work, then they'll send somebody else from your group that you chose to meet.
00:13:42
Speaker
For instance, that's why when, if you get married, divorced, or married and somebody dies, that's why you can have more than one life party. It doesn't mean, you know, that you're supposed to be one and done for the rest of your life.
00:13:58
Speaker
Like at all the time. The thing is we would like, that's our societal human thought and archaic way of thinking that we're supposed to be one and done and that's all we get. But so what I was saying, there's a lot that has to line up for people to meet really a lot. It's like the stars got a line, things got a line.
00:14:17
Speaker
free will has got align. The openness has to be there. the The fertility of it to grow has to be there. The willingness to change and evolve together. The understanding and the compassion.
00:14:28
Speaker
But if things if a person is destined for you, then that person will show up.
Relationships as Tools for Lessons and Growth
00:14:33
Speaker
That's why i always say, if I'm reading your story and the story stays the same, you're good. It's when the story gets twisted around, you're like, what the F?
00:14:41
Speaker
What's going on? you know That's where somebody changed something along the path. It comes off, this is my brain, this is not, it's gonna come off, felt it's gonna come off, but it comes off as a little bit of consequence. Like, oh, didn't do this.
00:15:02
Speaker
Okay, so like you didn't take that chance because you were sick. So you missed that opportunity. That's on you, girl. It's not that you were sick.
00:15:12
Speaker
and Let me explain something with the universe. There's consequences to opportunities in taking choices. And it doesn't mean that's right or wrong. That's your own perception. That's what I would love to teach people to break out of their mind.
00:15:26
Speaker
Let go your mind for a minute and stop orchestrating your life so heavily. However, there is consequences to life choices. And the one thing about spirit, if you veer off from your choice, okay, like say, Danny, let's say you have a choice to date Maya and I.
00:15:44
Speaker
And you choose my, in another dimension, in another realm, you chose me. So, and it plays out in another dimension as well. there' We could get really heavy on this. This could get really deep, but it's not necessarily for the human mind because we're so orchestrated to be archaic and our societal thought of this is just where it is. And this is the only love we have, but this was, but, but There's limitless outcomes because there's limitless choices.
00:16:14
Speaker
It could be simply, I didn't answer the phone when he called or I didn't, you know, something like that. And it's not your fault, like all the fault around it. It's the choice that was made or questions on that. Like, am I made clear clear with that? But it wasn't destiny that I missed that phone call.
00:16:31
Speaker
But that's your free will.
00:16:36
Speaker
If is destined. It wasn't like destiny. I missed the phone call, so I answered the door of the DoorDash driver. Let's follow this fantasy. I like where this is going. You know what mean? What does the DoorDash driver look like?
00:16:49
Speaker
If it's destined, you're not going to miss that phone call. You have to have a little bit of blind faith. But what I'm saying is, when it comes to people that are significant in your life, as I was saying, how I've been dating and doing different things with people in my life.
00:17:07
Speaker
That was destined. There's no doubt in my mind that was destined. But the choices are made. And as the choices are made, changes has happen.
00:17:18
Speaker
So in some ways, we create our own destiny, but our guides can essentially delay or accelerate meeting someone based on our growth. and yes Yes, absolutely. It's like a shove in the right direction.
00:17:30
Speaker
Like you better get it. So might, cause I think then sometimes it's hard to go, okay, they might keep putting someone in your way if you're not doing the growth, which is where you repeat patterns.
00:17:43
Speaker
And then how do you know then if you've been repeating patterns and then they put someone in your way and you're like, is this someone that I'm just repeating patterns with? Or is this someone that's different? And because I have outgrown my patterns.
00:17:56
Speaker
let me break yeah Let me break that down a little. but That was a little heavy for me. I would have been like, this is a test. This is the final exam. Bring it. So what you're saying is, if you're let me just break it down because I need clarity a little.
00:18:10
Speaker
If you're um ah you're dating somebody... and you're not getting your lessons and that person's in the way, are you saying they're bringing somebody in for you to meet or you're saying somebody's blocking you from meeting somebody? I'm confused. I think we've talked in past episodes where if you don't, if there's a certain lesson you need to learn, like let's say, um, you know, lesson on, let's say codependency or like, like working on whatever.
00:18:37
Speaker
And then, so you're not learning it with one person. And so you repeat and you didn't grow from it. So you, have someone else come in and then same thing, same toxicity. And then someone else comes in. And so when do you go, okay, have I grown from this? And this person that's coming in is not someone I'm repeating it with.
00:18:55
Speaker
But I guess that's a stupid question because you would know if you're not repeating it. at It would feel different. not ah It's not a stupid question. This is an interesting question. It's got an interesting answer. They give you an upgraded version of the lessons.
00:19:09
Speaker
So you'll get some of the same qualities and that's why you keep picking the same kind of people. It's the upgraded version until you break that. And Maya, I can tell you with divine confidence, you will know when you broke a lesson, you'll know when you got it.
00:19:25
Speaker
Because what happens is your conviction of choice starts to change and you'll stand in that conviction.
00:19:31
Speaker
Like I've had conversations where I told you, oh, I knew this was different. That's what I'm talking about. I know this is different and I got a handle different. That's when you know you're changing when you really got it and you're really breaking that soul. Your pattern. Yeah, the pattern.
00:19:47
Speaker
Yeah. Until then, you get an upgraded version of that soul lesson. see Spirit goes, I'm going to level Well, what happens is you do learn.
00:19:59
Speaker
So it's not that you're not learning or growing. You're learning something, but you might need a little a little more fine-tune. Sometimes, I wouldn't say remedial. don't like that word.
00:20:10
Speaker
um Sometimes you need a little hand-over-hand instruction. And when I say, meaning that if you're dating, like say you're dating somebody, say you're dating One type of person.
00:20:24
Speaker
And you keep dating that person. You'll get an upgraded version of that person because you did get something from the first. So the second comes with a little bit more of a challenge, but also a little bit more wisdom from you.
00:20:37
Speaker
So you did learn something in how you approach it. That's why when we've had this conversation before, you're not going to approach your problems or situations the same way every time. But that pattern, I can tell you with old conviction of my soul, my business, my life, you will know you've broken that pattern.
00:20:58
Speaker
Because what will shift is the energy of people that you're attracting. You get like an upgrade of that an upgrade of a new kind of person. And then probably a different type of lesson.
00:21:11
Speaker
What'd you say? Like a different type of lesson too with that person. and then you will... oh, I love this guy. There's somebody that stepped in and I like the spirit.
Breaking Patterns and Learning Life Lessons
00:21:23
Speaker
Not only were you getting upgraded. What'd you say? It's because it's mine. Of the Piscean energy. It's Scorpio transformation. But, oh my God, wait, hold on.
00:21:37
Speaker
to get my thought. Give me a minute. I'm sorry. I got distracted. Sorry. Sorry. not only will you can you'll start upgrading your people where you don't have those kinds of problems anymore you'll get new people in your life that's how you know you'll break it and what happens is where the challenge comes in with that and my we talked about your life a little bit you may be in situations where you have to make the choice to go forward or stay right where you are and what happens with human beings
00:22:09
Speaker
We teeter on the fence a lot because change is scary and we don't know what's out there. Well, how do you know what's out there might not be but the best thing that ever happened to Amen to that.
00:22:21
Speaker
Well, why does it have to be so tricky? Because. Like, why do they have to be like, oh, you learned half the lesson? Well, because you're not going to learn everything.
00:22:33
Speaker
That's the problem with human beings. And this is one thing they would like me to stress. We think we're going to learn all our lessons and and balance all our karma in this lifetime. It's simply not going to be done.
00:22:46
Speaker
That's not what it's it's expected of us. It's expected of us to take our assignments and the areas that we chose to grow and learn and try to do the best with that, but based on our free will and our choices and our experiences.
00:23:03
Speaker
It's like when, like for me with illness, I've been told I'm very happy go lucky for being physically challenged with a lot of physical problems. Well, that's the way I choose to carry it.
00:23:14
Speaker
You know, Danny, you might be different. Maya, you might be completely different and there's no right or wrong, but you're still getting a similar soul. Like you're still getting your lesson. It's what you choose and how you choose to handle it.
00:23:29
Speaker
But like I said, you're not meant to complete all your karma and you're not meant to complete all your lessons. You're ah learning a little bit of the lesson each time, each incarnation.
00:23:40
Speaker
And some things that are really challenging are most likely many lifetimes of choosing out of fear instead of choosing through love.
00:23:52
Speaker
So then what guidance do you have for the people that are going, look, spirit, I feel like I've been doing the work, reflecting internally, yet I still have people that keep coming and it doesn't work out.
00:24:06
Speaker
And i think it's easy for people to go, is just not working for me. Is it that there's something in them that still needs to grow that they're not paying attention to?
00:24:20
Speaker
or Like what what kind of insights do you have for those people that ah that they're like, I'm trying, I'm like reading the books and doing the work and I still keep attracting the same type of people. But ultimately it's your in something internally, right?
00:24:34
Speaker
Or. yes it's something internally because you might be reading the books and knowing what to do, but not actually being accountable to do it. And you might have a mindset of victim.
00:24:45
Speaker
You might have a mindset of the martyr. You might have a mindset of fear. Again, the one thing that spirit always tries to suggest to me with my personal lessons and when I share this with clients is to stay open.
00:25:00
Speaker
Nobody's open. Open-mindedness. They love when we expand our minds and open our minds to any possibility of things and instead of being so closed-minded. And that type of mentality you're speaking of, Maya, is a little bit of victimized and repeating the victim.
00:25:17
Speaker
They might be studying all they can study, but it's
00:25:22
Speaker
It's putting it into practice and putting it into motion instead of just saying, I read the spirituality book. What did I get from it? When I look at when i listen to spirituality books, I'm an auditory, I'm audiobook guy more than I'm a reader.
00:25:39
Speaker
I try to take bits and pieces that I know resonate with my soul, and I use that for myself and for my readings.
00:25:47
Speaker
Well, what would you say, what would spirit say to someone that is a little exhausted with trying to go inward and um have growth in all areas of life?
Taking Breaks for Spiritual Balance
00:26:03
Speaker
Like, but especially that love and then, but like, they're just exhausted and they're exhausted of trying to grow.
00:26:09
Speaker
Like, like it, you know, read the books, do the work, go to therapy. You know, it's a little exhausting. Then rest. It's okay to rest. And that might be where somebody that's experienced that. And that's something I've learned myself.
00:26:25
Speaker
And that's a hard, really hard lesson. I have learned that myself. I've been forced to rest because I'm a man on the go. My mind is quick. My body is quick. My speech is quick.
00:26:36
Speaker
Everything about me runs fast. Sometimes when you feel like you're up against a wall like that, it's your time to rest. And what gets hard is the acceptance. of allowing yourself to rest instead of going so inward, just rest and accept it.
00:26:53
Speaker
Accept that you're slow for the moment and that your time to open up where you're feeling comfortable and vulnerable to move forward will be there for you. It's a little bit of blind faith and it's a little bit of acceptance.
00:27:07
Speaker
If you don't rest, will spirit make you rest? Oh, that'll slow you down in five minutes. Like it's their, their M efforts with that. yeah That's why I think I got as sick as I got because I wasn't. Yeah.
00:27:22
Speaker
Cause I felt that. I felt that. Because the thing is you're trying to, and what happens, it usually happens with some type of illness or conflict, like a loss of a job or something, you know, because what happens is, um,
00:27:37
Speaker
But what happens with that is they will slow you down because you're not listening. So they go more physically, physical illness and things like that to put you in that space to regroup.
00:27:48
Speaker
And let me talk about that for a second. This is fascinating. And I love this topic too. but You even wrote in those moments in your life of the traumas and challenges you're going to face because what happens during those times where you know even with you, Danny, you might be at in a place of contemplation and questioning and uncertainty.
00:28:10
Speaker
That's because your soul is expanding and you have to be in that to walk through it and move through it. The thing is with that kind of energy is you don't always get the timeline.
00:28:22
Speaker
And that, if we're talking about partners and love, that doesn't throw away your love story. It doesn't throw off your partners. It doesn't throw you off meeting people because it's time where you need to focus on yourself to grow.
00:28:35
Speaker
you know But we write in the challenges of our lifetimes and we write in the illnesses and obstacles of our lifetimes because usually there's something miraculous that's waking up inside of us that needs to find its way.
00:28:47
Speaker
And also on a very unconscious level, which this is very difficult to explain, may be giving you the enlightenment awareness of your true soul path.
00:28:59
Speaker
So essentially then it is destined. Yes. So then like people, you don't push back your timeline because everything was destined.
00:29:13
Speaker
you Everything that's meant, how can I put this? There's still choices and consequences and it's the degree of the level and the way that you want to learn them.
00:29:23
Speaker
But i because we don't remember our life plan, We don't remember whether we're going to choose the easy path or the harder, more difficult path. I got you. So it's like can i make it sense it could be destined that maybe you're going to come across an illness or like you're something, but how long you're in that can be. Yes.
00:29:46
Speaker
the harder or the easier lesson or like partners would be, you can either repeat toxic patterns with 10 different partners or you are, you focus and you grow. And then maybe was just five partners instead of 10.
00:30:00
Speaker
Right, right. Exactly. and There's no set way of how to learn this lesson or how you're choosing what makes it difficult, Danny. And this is where I feel your question because we have that veil of amnesia when we're born.
00:30:14
Speaker
We don't remember our true purpose at times. I think her connection cut. She'll come back. and So then how ah how about then timing? Because sometimes with love, they talk about how, you know, you've heard people say right person, wrong time, for example. But is there such thing as wrong timing? Because can can something that's meant to be good fall apart because it was wrong timing?
00:30:43
Speaker
I don't necessarily want to say wrong timing. I think that's a human term, like a very humanistic societal term, but that goes back to um the free will of the person.
00:30:55
Speaker
that But for humanity, for society, that's why we tell ourselves it's the wrong timing. that That's where you could meet people. And I've said this, and I'm sure you've said and I'm sure Danny said it too, where you'll meet people and you'll be like, oh, it's the wrong timing.
00:31:09
Speaker
That's where it's not necessarily wrong timing per se. As it is, that's where your free will comes in or the other person's free will comes in and there's choices, but you knew there was a connection.
00:31:22
Speaker
So the free will is deciding that it's wrong timing. Yes. Or the free will is deciding that this isn't it for you because the other person's not choosing you, you're not choosing them, or it just can't get an alignment.
00:31:35
Speaker
But that to go back to what you're saying about staying with people. Spirit will throw people every opportunity to work it out as long as both people are choosing to work it out.
00:31:47
Speaker
Remember what I've said, spiritual law is 90% intention, intention, 10% work. It's what you choose to do with it. The problem is, or I shouldn't even say problem, what happens a lot is human beings are very good at convincing ourselves of our own lives.
00:32:05
Speaker
that we need to be with this person and we're meant to be with this person. And this is our person. And we have kids with this person and we have a house with this person. We have dogs together. So they tie themselves to their the other person's destiny.
00:32:20
Speaker
And they don't want us to do that. Tie yourself to your own destiny. And I think what you said earlier is freeing for people where sometimes one person changes the story and it wasn't,
00:32:34
Speaker
You know, like, let's say when ah like you go into a committed relationship and then one person cheats, like, but they're basically taking what your story would have been and they changed it now.
00:32:45
Speaker
So now there's different outcomes that happen because that person changed the trajectory. It doesn't mean that because in the beginning you felt like you were meant to be. And then now that this person changed the time story, like that doesn't mean you have to stay just because you felt like you were meant to be from the beginning.
00:33:01
Speaker
Exactly. And that's where karma gets created a little bit. There's a little bit of karma with that because especially if they don't discuss it with the partner, that they're unhappy or they've been unhappy. If there's things that happen, things happen.
00:33:18
Speaker
But if you're not discussing it with your partner that you're unhappy and somebody decides to cheat, there's karma behind that. That's why men and women take everybody to court and get tons of money because it's a payout.
00:33:29
Speaker
Couldn't that be destiny? Like that person was destined to cheat on you to learn lessons? I don't know that they were destined to cheat, but um the way spirit sees it is it's a choice to cheat.
00:33:45
Speaker
You're making a conscious choice for infidelity. You're not not making it. And there's so lessons that that let me tell you what is this to add to your question, because there's a little bit of truth in what you're asking.
00:33:57
Speaker
The truth is you contracted with that third person. that comes into the affair of how this could go down and the multifaceted ways that it could go down. So the person comes in, let's say, you know, Maya, you're dating somebody, your partner decides to cheat.
00:34:16
Speaker
There's a third person that comes in. That third person is the person to wake both of you up. Cause in spirit, both of you know this person, whether you know the soul energy or not, whether you met the person,
00:34:30
Speaker
The sole lesson is what is the choice going to be? And if you do make the choice to cheat, how are you going to handle it? If you don't make the choice to cheat, what's going to happen? ah It's going to pull you closer. you're going to start to address things a little differently.
00:34:42
Speaker
There's a lot of intricate details when it comes to relationships one-on-one. So that's an example of, you can learn the lesson the hard way or the either easier way where like, let's say a third person comes in and If that person just decided to go, you know what, I'm feeling some type of way, this person, let me go to my partner and say, hey, i am feeling on like I'm feeling disconnected in our relationship and this person has helped me realize that.
00:35:10
Speaker
That's ah one way to learn a lesson versus... like the easier quote unquote way and in some ways, but then the harder thing would be if that person decided not to do that, bypass that, go cheat. And then now your lesson just got harder in the way you're learning it because of that choice.
00:35:27
Speaker
I don't like, they don't like the term harder when I hear it, when I'm hearing it, but I, but there's, but it is a little more, it's hard.
00:35:38
Speaker
It's what you're learning from the experience. Thank you. It's what you're learning from the experience of the situation. How do you want to experience this? Do you want to say no to that person and not cheat? Like you said, do you want to come to your partner and say, listen, starting to feel very disconnected.
00:35:53
Speaker
I'm kind of attracted to somebody. You don't even have to tell them all that. I'm just disconnected. Or do you want to have the affair? Do you want to have the flinging thing? and then see what happens. It's about the experience of what you're learning from the experience.
00:36:07
Speaker
That's why lot of times spirit doesn't see right or wrong with decisions like that. But, um, but where to what you were saying initially, yes, they will change that person deciding to cheat will change your destiny because the people closest to us affect our destiny.
00:36:29
Speaker
That's like if somebody, I've said this before, a simple example, when I got, when my mom had a stroke and a heart attack back to back, it delayed my move into this house for about a year because her choices affected my choices.
00:36:45
Speaker
And that's where there's karma that comes in and change happens. And it doesn't mean It doesn't mean that there was a poor choice, but it means there's another obligation where I was needed to be.
Modern Relationship Dynamics
00:37:00
Speaker
This is so much.
00:37:02
Speaker
I know it's a lot. It's heavy. <unk> gonna be single It's just so much easier to be single. the and the fun with this yeah well with it Well, the thing is we're in a society where people might be coming a little bit more single, but What they want us to do is just have experiences.
00:37:21
Speaker
I think the hardest thing with relationships today is nobody wants nobody wants pain. Nobody wants pain. and They wanted to come in clean and they wanted to be nice and they wanted to be good.
00:37:33
Speaker
And that's a humour a human quality. But nobody wants to challenge themselves either. And it's trying to date people and trying to meet people and even cultivate your friendships and relationships.
00:37:45
Speaker
That's where the challenge is. That's why you have different, go ahead. You said nobody wants pain? They don't want pain. They don't want hurt. They don't want the risk. No.
00:37:56
Speaker
I don't want to get hurt, so I'm going lock myself away. i don't want I don't want to go online. I don't want to do the, when you deal with people convince themselves of their own truth, but betray their own truth in the same respect.
00:38:12
Speaker
So how does fear handle that? They don't. The person's working that out. And then that becomes a lesson. That's why I said danny to your question earlier, when you were talking about you're not going to complete so all your soul lessons and karma this lifetime.
00:38:27
Speaker
That's why you're not going to complete all your soul lessons and karma. And that's why with relationships and dating, it comes down to choice and openness. You know, there are things that are destined.
00:38:39
Speaker
But when I read it, it's also the openness to be able to receive that and the openness to take the risk and openness to be vulnerable and the openness to challenge yourself and the openness for pain and arguments because nobody's perfect.
00:38:54
Speaker
And I think this is where I love right now, too. I think we're breaking away from that archetype and that archaic way of saying, oh, I'm going to be married and they're going to be the wonderful one. And this is where we're going to be at. And this is what it's supposed to look like.
00:39:08
Speaker
And we're starting to really get into the grit of creating our own relationships that work for us. It's about being honest with yourself and finding somebody that you can be really honest with and and meaning to agree to disagree at times. And like I said, find the middle ground, as I said before, but really somebody you can be vulnerable with that accepts you as you are.
00:39:29
Speaker
So you're saying that the world or society is moving towards like being single, correct? I think a little bit more. Or cultivating relationships that are honest, that work for them, and being honest about who they are in those relationships.
00:39:45
Speaker
I don't think we've been honest. I think, for instance, I'll give you an example, and just because I'm a little older, and this might help you. I'm supposed to get married, okay? I'm supposed to get married to a woman and be with a woman while I come out as gay.
00:39:58
Speaker
OK, now I'm supposed to get married to a man, whether I want to be married or not, possibly have children, whether I want children or not. it We're breaking down those archetypes that no longer serve.
00:40:09
Speaker
And what happens is you're finding relationships, like I said, move to that level of honesty as being interdependent instead of dependent. What do you want as a person?
00:40:21
Speaker
What do I want as a person? What would we both like to contribute to this relationship? What we're seeing is people that are starting to get together and really be together to be together the way they would like to be together.
00:40:34
Speaker
That's why you're seeing polyamory. That's why you're seeing a lot of sexual fluidity and bisexual and We're starting to be honest with our own souls. And that's what I think is beautiful.
00:40:46
Speaker
And constructing marriages and relationships that really benefit everybody instead of just what we were taught, what what society thinks, and what type of structure we think we belong in.
00:41:00
Speaker
As we kind of wind down here and wrap this up in terms of, I think we covered again, a wide range. What does spirit want to leave us with in terms of maybe in the area of what we talked about today as kind of insights that we can take away and maybe implement and focus on?
00:41:22
Speaker
Stay open and stay undefined. Be ready to explore and be ready to, um, change your mindset if you want to change your life.
00:41:33
Speaker
Because they're like I said, it the outcomes are unlimited when it comes to relationships and love. And there's so many variables. And we can make so many different choices to go in different directions. And there's no wrong choice in your life when it comes to loving somebody.
00:41:47
Speaker
you know Because even even if that love doesn't last, you did love them for the time that you loved them. And love is what remains in the end.
00:41:54
Speaker
What did you say to the person that's stagnant?
00:41:57
Speaker
What would I say to the person that's stagnant?
00:42:00
Speaker
Trust that when it's your time, you'll know to move forward. Fuck that, Jimmy. Give me something else. That was so generic. That was like trashy thing. wasn't finished what I was saying, but you cut me off.
00:42:17
Speaker
Okay. What would I say to the person that's stagnant? Wait minute. I just literally got me laughing. I'm sorry. So funny. She's all, fuck that, Jerry. Fuck it. Fuck you, Jerry.
00:42:28
Speaker
I love when people are in my office and they look out and fuck you, Jerry. And I'm like, they're right here. I do that all the time. I look up at a ceiling fan. I'm like, fuck, he's like Danny, they're right here.
00:42:41
Speaker
What would I say to the person that's stagnant? Be open to taking opportunities when you feel you're ready for those opportunities. And be ready to have an adventurous and explorative mindset towards it.
00:42:55
Speaker
And try not to limit yourself with fear and know that every choice that you make when it comes to a relationship or cultivating one or going on dates or whatever you're choosing to do, do it with love, a loving intention.
00:43:10
Speaker
It doesn't mean some aren't gonna be bittersweet. It doesn't mean some aren't gonna be wonderful, but it's ultimately like what I always say about you, but it's choosing to be loving in the approach.
00:43:21
Speaker
And allow yourself to be vulnerable and loving in that approach.
Advice on Personal Growth in Relationships
00:43:25
Speaker
So we create trust that we create our own destiny when it comes to love. And the best we can do is be honest and authentic with ourselves, what we want, what we desire, and take a hard look at our mindset and approaches on it and where we feel like we're repeating certain patterns and what we can do differently to break them so we can invite in people that aren't karmic lessons, but more so people that you are here to grow and evolve with.
00:43:53
Speaker
That's true. That's, that's correct. And like, again, with the stagnance, just what you said, Maya, be open, pay attention to what patterns you might, what patterns of thought or feeling that you might be stagnant in and telling yourself that you're true.
00:44:07
Speaker
It's about changing. It's about changing your conviction of your own truth about yourself. You know, i've I've said this to you too in private. I struggle a lot with my body image in this moment.
00:44:20
Speaker
And I didn't realize that it's my body that doesn't define me because I've met people and dated people to think I'm absolutely beautiful but as I am in this body.
00:44:32
Speaker
I struggled so hard to be funnier. I struggled so hard to be thin. I struggled so hard to be charismatic. And that did that all fell to the wayside when I got sick with my legs and my back and everything.
00:44:43
Speaker
And I've had to learn to sit and realize that that was the lie or the false truth, the false narrative that I was feeding myself, that I had to be something better than what I was to meet someone.
00:44:56
Speaker
And if somebody is stagnant, maybe maybe sit and reflect not too long, because sometimes people could go down that black hole of reflection, but sit and reflect on what narrative are you feeding to yourself that may not be ultimately true.
00:45:13
Speaker
on a higher level, on a soul higher level.
00:45:17
Speaker
The second answer is better, thank you. You're welcome. I knew I needed to give you more. I'm trying to help you, Dani. I'm trying to steer you on. They're trying to help you. I was like, meh. The second one, I'm like, oh, yeah.
00:45:32
Speaker
Perfect. That is a great place for us to wrap this up. As always, thank you to Spirit and Jimmy for all the wonderful insights. Dani, for your questions and your your blunt honesty when we get some answers is always greatly appreciated. And to everyone listening, hopefully you got a few key key insights from this and all right, we've got some work to do. So we'll be back here with another topic, another episode, and I'm sure we will continue our conversation on love in the future.
00:46:03
Speaker
So, all right. Bye everyone. by And thank you. Thank you so much. Bye. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us on today's episode of Spiritually Desperate.
00:46:17
Speaker
If you would like to hear more, please subscribe to the show and feel free to leave us a comment. We would all love to hear your thoughts. Have a great day and see you on the next one.