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S1E16: Modern Dating
49 Plays1 year ago
In today's episode, join Jimmie, Dani, Maya and special guest, Steven, as we dive into insights surrounding dating in the modern era. From spiriti's perspectives on dating apps to reality TV shows, join us as we unpack how to approach dating today.
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Transcript
Introduction to Spiritually Desperate Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey everyone, welcome to Spiritually Desperate with myself, psychic medium, Jimmy Bay, and my co-host, spiritual enthusiast, Danny Amaya. Please join us as we deep dive into the soul, connect with spirit to help answer some of life's challenges. We'll be discussing a variety of topics to help guide you and keep you in empowered. Let's begin.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hi everyone, welcome back to this episode of Spiritually Desperate.
Dating in the Modern Era
00:00:28
Speaker
Today we'll be talking about dating in the modern era and just kind of see what questions that opens up and go from there. As always, joined by Jimmy and Spirit and Danny. And we also have our special guest back on Steven. I know you joined us for our spiritual free for all last time. It seems like you really appreciated Jimmy's insight on your Cancer Mars so that you're back for more.
00:00:52
Speaker
How are you doing today, Steven? Thanks so much for joining us for this episode. yeah I'm amazing and thank you. I had a phenomenal time, so it's good to be back. Perfect. and If anyone hasn't listened to that episode where Jimmy dived into Steven's chart, definitely a fun one to listen into just to get a little idea of that. Jimmy, how about for you? How are you doing today?
The Impact of Dating Apps
00:01:15
Speaker
Is Spirit ready? Are they having a light show for us? They are. The lights are lit. and It's beautiful over here. see And Danny, how about for you? I'm doing good. Thank you. How are you?
00:01:29
Speaker
I'm good. I'm good. I'm, I'm curious to see where this goes because I think dating has evolved so much. I feel like even in the last 10 years, um, I feel like there's always like a new dating app or a new dating story here from friends of what it's like out there. Um, but yeah, who wants to start off with anything top of the mind, wherever intuition takes them when it comes to this topic.
00:01:58
Speaker
Nothing, no one has to know. I was going to jump in. All right, Jimmy, how does Spirit feel about dating apps?
00:02:07
Speaker
They like them. They think it it bridges the gap around the world. It expands us into meeting different people, which is what they want us to do. They want us to assimilate and come together from all over. So it's kind of a good thing. However, um it is changing the way that we're evolving, and that is part of their plan as well.
00:02:27
Speaker
to change how we're dating and how we're connected to one another. you are um I've spoken about this before, where we might get away from the romantic energy. However, it's not lost for good. There are people trying to connect. But um yeah, they they like dating apps. The thing is, people kind of abuse them. And it is making them a little bit more antisocial and giving more social anxiety about meeting people. It's a little bit of different kinds of communication.
00:02:57
Speaker
And when I say that spirit is liking this, it's more so because we're going in the we're in the age of Aquarius and we're going in the age of technology and it's a better way to connect to people. However, the um downfall to this is the emotional connections might not quite be there. So there are some dilemmas, but these are all things that ourselves and future generations have to learn to work through and work out. Well, I think that's pretty accurate. So my interpretation of the apps is in theory,
00:03:26
Speaker
I like them because it simplifies things so much in regards to the chances of you meeting a person that you really connect with out and about being in the right city, the right you know restaurant bar, event that you're going to to be there, you know the odds are so minimal anyway. And then to actually you know make a visual connection with somebody and and one person approaches the other,
00:03:53
Speaker
those are very small odds to to find someone that you want to connect with that way. The apps at least give you a chance to do that, where you you can cast a wide net and and kind of filter those things. So in in theory, I love it. But the bad side is, because there's so much potential out there, people are it's very hard to make a connection with somebody through that app. So I know I personally, within a day or two, I'm trying to set a meeting some kind of meaning, whether it's coffee, for drink, and activity, to see how we are in person. If it's going good in text, then we have to see if it translates to person. Yes, I agree with you, Stevie, because um a lot of times the biggest, one of the greatest downfalls with it as well is it's stuck on the physical, the external. So you're having the basic blueprint of who people are without really knowing who they are. And like you said, it's important to get that date down or some type of connection because people hide
00:04:51
Speaker
behind the internet and catfishing and everything else. So you have, in a way, it kind of forces you to go a little deeper, but in another way, it's keeping it at surface level. And if you're not responsible when using them, that's where it gets very external and superficial. Yeah. I'm kind of the opposite of Steven. I don't like them. I think it feels a little forced. And you and I have had this conversation, Jimmy,
00:05:18
Speaker
where you're like, well, if you don't do them, you're just pushing your timeline back. But I was like, okay. But I'm just, I don't know. I'm not about them personally. No, personally, I'm not telling anybody to do anything they don't want to do. However.
00:05:33
Speaker
for your experiences, if you need to get what I call seasoned, if you don't have a lot of dating experience or if you've been hidden away for a while. Spirit will always open the window. Maya, right, we talked about this. They always got that window of opportunity. However, if you're trying to grow on a soul level, the dating ads are really good for you if you use them with that kind of depth. A lot of times, though, it's sex.
00:05:57
Speaker
It's physical attraction. It's impatience. And people run through them. And Danny, to credit what you're saying, that's that's why that doesn't work for you. You're a very deep and emotional woman and crave that depth through somebody. So to meet somebody on a different level for you would be a better choice. But if you were going saying, listen, I'm going to get over my shyness.
00:06:18
Speaker
or I want to get over like the the act of expecting
Steven's Approach to Dating
00:06:22
Speaker
a lot out of something and someone. Go on the dates, see what they're about, and test your energy out. and And that's how you can move forward a little bit. However, what happens is with the dating apps, it can create a cycle that people don't get out of. They get so stuck on the physical, so stuck on the sex, so stuck on the external. And because everything's laid out,
00:06:44
Speaker
or the basics are splayed out that people say they are. It doesn't necessarily mean they are that person. um People just, they don't go beyond that. Yeah, it could be a little addictive for people, you know. Danny, I'm curious, can you elaborate on why you're against the apps?
00:07:04
Speaker
calling me out all right um I'm not against them for other people. It's just a personal thing. I have many friends that have met their spouse on like Tinder, Hinge, etc. I'm curious why you but you personally are are against them because I do have an opposing point of view of that. Why do you not like that? yeah Honestly, it comes down to I'm just old school and Jimmy knows that. and i'm I'm just so old school. like I'm such an energy person. or if i like I have to see them in person first. I think texting, like anyone can be like a good texter and bet to credit what you were saying. That's why you want to meet so soon, like right the next day. But um I just like meeting people in person. It's just how I am. I don't know. do you and um So here here here's something. Have you ever considered it's extremely difficult for a man these days to approach a woman? Oh, it is. Yes.
00:08:01
Speaker
Is it? I mean, if it's meant to be. Oh my God. Yes, yes, yes. I could vouch for Steven on this one because- Your rejection or what? I don't know. These things, everyone, what they do is they ask for your Instagram. Have you noticed that? Not that I get hit on or anything, but I feel- No. People ask for social media accounts now versus numbers or making plans for dates. And I think it's a rejection thing, right?
00:08:24
Speaker
No, well, no, no, not necessarily. No, no, no, no, I agree. with
Gender Roles and Initiatives in Dating
00:08:29
Speaker
I might add to what you're saying. So say what you got to say, Steve. I was going to say the reason why we asked for socials is so I can see what really is you, what you really are besides that dating app. I want to see who you're hanging out with, what you're spending your time doing and and the different. mean disagree I disagree. I disagree. My total media is fake.
00:08:49
Speaker
Yes, it's snippets of who you are. So you're not seeing the true person of who they are. You're seeing moments of who they are. But what I was going to say about the men feeling inferior, what I see with my my guy clients is there's so much expectation on guys. There's so much expectation. You know, to hear women say to me, I won't date him because he's short.
00:09:13
Speaker
is the biggest red flag growing. Because the thing is, it's like you wanna be open to meeting people and you go after what you like, you'll naturally get what you like, you've heard me say this before, I've said this in prior podcasts. But the thing is, to really get to know somebody, that's what I mean when I say go outside your box. I hear, he's gotta buy this, he's gotta look like this, he's gotta have this, he's gotta have his things together. Or I'll read the guys and they're telling me they're spending tons of money on women and they're not doing anything towards them or trying to even communicate with them or they're dangling themselves in front of them. And they'll tell it straight I've had men tell me that women are straight up seeing other people when they're going above and beyond. And these are good men going above and beyond the call of duty to date them. That's the one thing I will see. And i think there's I do think men are developing a social anxiety because at what point do you become predatory?
00:10:09
Speaker
Well, i charge that I think that we should also just have it okay that a woman can also go ask for a guy's number. you know it what It doesn't have to always be see it that way, and I think we can take the BS out of it. I was thinking they asked for socials because someone's more likely to say yes to socials than a number, right but which I
Social Media as a Dating Tool
00:10:28
Speaker
understand because there is this expectation that, oh, I want that guy to chase me. I think it's changing now for me. i go If my friend thinks that guy is cute at a bar, why can't she just go ask him? Why can't she just go lay it out and go, hey, let's hang out. I think you're cute. Give me your number. um Danny, I'm kind of definitely more middle ground when it comes to socials. I think it totally depends because i I definitely have friends that go, I just want to meet someone organically in person. But then I've also seen some of my friends who outside of their work,
00:10:58
Speaker
they don't really meet anybody. Or maybe, you know, you live on an island or something. And so it's harder. But it's, I think it's the way we use the apps. And I will say some people I feel like get really creative on their profiles, or they show, you know, different sides of them. I also kind of like knowing like, if if you're not an animal person, I don't really care to me, I know we should be open minded, Jimmy and date outside our box. But there are certain things, you know, that I if you're not a dog person, we're just not going to get along. So And your defense, Maya? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. And your defense, if you don't like animals or children, if somebody doesn't like animals or children, pretty much run. Because that's not really a kind human being. Really? One or the other or both. It's like, if they like want children and don't like animals, that's one thing. If they like animals, but you know.
00:11:50
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's one or the other are both because that that tells you their compassion for other human beings other animals other not just animals but people it Animals and children teach you compassion and to sacrifice something of yourself It you have to put your kids before you and you'll have to put your pets before you So it teaches you a lot about the dynamic of being in relationships I have noticed in the gay community, and this is not everybody, so don't come for me, but I have noticed in the gay community, gay men that find women repulsive or have not dated dated women are much more, what's the word, selfish.
00:12:33
Speaker
where you'll have gay gay men who have dated women or have been married that are much more giving and much more loving interesting than what i what I've seen. And this like I said, this is an observation. Don't comfort me on this one, but that's what I've noticed.
00:12:50
Speaker
I have so many questions and perspective about what you just said, Maya. Socially acceptable for women who approach men. I agree with you. My concern is rejection is difficult for everybody.
00:13:03
Speaker
Okay, and that's why guys, that's only a small reason why guys are more apprehensive to to approach women these days, in addition to the whole woke predatory perception. yeah I would say, my opinion, and I've thought about this a lot today, you don't have to ask me out. If you can make eye contact, just come over, introduce yourself. Hi, I'm Maya. That's all you need to do. If I'm interested, yeah, just make it a clear hint I'm interested,
00:13:32
Speaker
And then the guy should, most guys, especially quality guys, will take the lead from there. And I agree with you, Maya. I think everything's starting to shift with this younger generation. I'm still of Generation X. I'm the oldest one here. So I'm from a different viewpoint in general.
00:13:50
Speaker
but um What I find is the anxiety that builds around men asking women out tends to be, they get emasculated, or they feel like they're not enough or at that space. And that's individual, don't get me wrong. But I find there's a lot of men terrified to meet women, to go up to women, or or even that rejection like Stephen's talking about. this That's a lot. it I don't think women make it comfortable for men, nor do I think they need to make men comfortable. I think you need to both kind of meet in the middle and see how you gel and how you vibe.
00:14:22
Speaker
But in the same respect, I do think, people I think people today, there's an add, water and stir instant gratification and people write each other off too quickly. Yeah. So question for you guys, cause again, I'm old school, but if a guy comes up, asks for my number and then calls me and doesn't text me,
00:14:49
Speaker
It's, I think it's so attractive. Um, I think a phone call is so much more personal than a text. How do you guys feel? Are you asking me, Danny? I can tell you, you get it. You get a green light from spirit because you're trying to make that, you're trying to make that connection. You're trying to make that depth. You're trying to, you're somebody calls you, right? You're like being duress somebody, somebody that calls you.
00:15:15
Speaker
usually takes you out, wants to spend a little bit of money, whether it's male or female, because things go, that's somebody that's um really serious about what they want to do. That's somebody that's really serious about dating you, pursuing you, or getting to know you. However, then you get the other extreme where that's all they do, because then they become obsessed with you. We could talk about that in a minute. We've all had creepers. I'm sure all of us have had creepers.
00:15:39
Speaker
I've been
Cultural Shifts in Dating Practices
00:15:40
Speaker
stalked 14 times, creepers. So. 14 times, Jimmy. Yes. I'm glad you're still alive. But um you get the green light with spirit, because it's somebody that's really trying to pursue and get to know who you are. And Steven, to you, to get that date right away or try to get that contact, bravo, because that means you're serious about meeting somebody serious. The thing is, once you get that initial contact,
00:16:09
Speaker
the follow through and are you consistent with what you're saying you're doing versus what you're actually doing?
00:16:22
Speaker
Let's kind of like bring it back real old school then. How do we feel about matchmaking and arranged partnerships? Ooh. God, it would have been a lot of easier, I feel like.
00:16:36
Speaker
mean There's different lessons. would do it You would do it, Danny. like you would let You would let someone arrange marriage. No. But if that's what your culture is, you have a choice. I mean, whatever. yeah but like god Well, the thing is with arranged marriages, from what I gather psychically, um it's antiquated. And it's more contractual. And it's more it's a colder bond. And what they do is when they get when you end up from another culture getting into an arranged marriage, from what
00:17:07
Speaker
Spirit tells me, some things are fated, just like we have life partners, there's a part of people that are contracted into, whether they're arranged, whether you met them on the street, right? But the thing is, it's more of a contract, and the the love, if there is love, becomes defense over time. Hopefully, hopefully. But a lot of times when you're dealing with arranged marriages, it's simply contracts. Contracts for money, contracts between family,
00:17:36
Speaker
contracts of culture, contracts for children. It really lacks depth, and that's why you'll see people that are are in those types of societies and cultures have open relationships, hidden relationships, affairs and discretions, multiple wives, multiple girlfriends, because they're not able to choose who they want for themselves. And not that they don't make the choice, they do Maya, because I know you're going to ask me, I saw your eyes.
00:18:05
Speaker
They do still choose. But in the same respect, they're not choosing on a base of somebody that they really would like to fall in love with or get to know a lot of times. I would say it's getting better with other cultures. They are trying to match make a little differently. But um it's when spirit looks at that, that's an antiquated way. And that's for religion. More so the soul lesson is that to break out of the religious structure and go against the grain.
00:18:34
Speaker
It's almost like we're flipping. We went from one extreme to another where we went from arranged marriages versus now we have the apps where we are open to literally worldwide if we wanted to, right? And so we're kind of finding the balance. I just hope we get to the balance where there's just no BS. Just be upfront with what you want. It's really just the intention behind whether you're using an app or meeting someone organically. And I think what you said, Jimmy, about are you consistent and you follow through?
00:19:01
Speaker
Because um I think dating can also be really light and fun. It doesn't have to be, is this person going to be the person for the rest of my life? you know I feel like we, especially after a certain age, it's so drilled into us. like Are you dating you know so that this person will be marriage material? But why can't you just date to have fun? Can I add to that? um
Personal Growth in Relationships
00:19:20
Speaker
the way The wave of the future is that women,
00:19:25
Speaker
will start to see themselves as equal to men. And you're starting to see that. And that's why what you're saying makes sense. And that's why women, like what Stephen's saying, women coming up and approaching and talking to them makes sense. The thing is, um it's more so about choosing partners who you can grow with and maybe not necessarily in a romantic way. This is where soulmates get really, really deep. And i I believe romantic partners can be different than soulmates However, it's all your personal choice and trying to meet somebody on that level and what you're choosing for yourself Yeah,
00:20:04
Speaker
Stephen you had a question Well more of a comment. It was I feel like the majority of these questions and what ifs and how to navigate it are all dependent on where the two people are in their life like what they're what they're looking for and not only what they're looking for what have they you know, what have they learned and what are they applying? You know, I live in St. Petersburg, Florida, which is like the haven for everybody that's spiritually healed and on a journey and everybody's yo yoga and Reiki and everybody is, you know, of like, until you talk to them and they're not, they haven't done that type of work, right? So even on the apps, like you're talking and they speak this way, Jimmy knows, cause we've talked about many of these women, like they all talk about being, you know,
00:20:50
Speaker
doing work but then they they don't apply it in in their lives. So I think the core thing is like what am I, what am what I'm looking for matches up with what you're looking for. You're talking about like friendship benefits or something long term or dating because it's fun and whatever happens happens. Like those things have to line up. I know that I'm looking for somebody with debt. Am I looking for it or applying pressure? No. But ideally it's somebody to learn and grow with.
00:21:20
Speaker
Whereas what I've run into is women think they want that. Well, let me take that back. People think they want that? No, you're onto something. You're onto something. That's right. I was. And then I lost my train of thought. No, but you're onto something. You're right about consistency with saying one thing and being something else. And spiritually, psychically, I see that all the time.
00:21:48
Speaker
You know, you have to be, but the core thing is, like you said, meeting somebody that's where you are, meeting somebody where they are is ah the big thing and seeing if you can work with that, what you're willing to work with, what you're willing to cultivate. It doesn't mean you're always at the same place as well. But I will say in my own personal experiences, it's just my own.
00:22:10
Speaker
that something shifts and you start to follow that direction. Something just clicks and you start to go forward with it versus the searching for it. And what Spirit likes us to do is the big thing is just let things naturally unfold. Like Maya's saying, keep it cool, keep it light, keep it easy and fun. They love that. The thing is what happens is, especially on the apps, you all three of you will see this and anybody listening.
00:22:38
Speaker
The minute that they swipe on you, were you divorced? Do you have children? What's going on? How many children do you have? Why did you break up? Fuck all of that. You don't know somebody so you don't owe them that conversation. The thing is to let them earn that conversation.
00:22:58
Speaker
to let them earn the in-depth of who you are. But what happens, like you said you like I said, you swipe right and it's the the checklist. you know And they want to know your whole life history. Well, that's, the like again, a downside of the online dating. But it's up to you you to use your own discretion, your emotional reserve.
00:23:18
Speaker
and spiritual reserve, is this person worthy of me sharing that? Is this for person deserving of me telling them who I am or showing my my vulnerable side? That's what you want to pay attention to. But what happens with the dating, because like Stephen's saying is so saturated, um people don't give that time. There's no patience. And there's always what I call the BBD, the bigger, better deal.
00:23:42
Speaker
right around the corner. there' are always somebody There's always gonna be somebody hotter, sexier, that's more financially stable for you, that is six foot, if you made somebody that's a shorty and then you really like them. It's that kind of thing. So it's really learning to give yourself the chance and people the chance if they have the core, if they show that they have the emotional, compassion, depth, everything that you're looking for on a soul level, or at least a lot of it.
00:24:10
Speaker
Because you're only going to see traces of it. This is why I tell people, I encourage them to go out on more than one date. Because one day you're getting the surface level of somebody. it I think it takes, like I said, my grandmother told me this and I still believe this is old school as this is, Danny, you like this one. Seven dates before you truly know whether you want to be with somebody on a physical level, whether you truly, it's a friendship or whether you truly got something for the long haul.
00:24:39
Speaker
Danny's like, they got one shot, one opportunity. Yeah, literally like one. That's the Capricorn. I know I'm hard myself. I got Virgo. It's like, oh, and I'm like, oh. Capricorn, wait. Am I not allowed to send them a questionnaire beforehand just to like weed out all the BS?
00:24:59
Speaker
We should know what Virgos do. Virgos, we're cruel. Virgos are cruel and I've done this and I hate to admit this. I'll go on a date with somebody and it's like the precursor of the date. And then by the second date, you might get the real person. like it It's not that I'm phony, I'm not phony, but I want to see if you're if I'm interested in seeing you again. It's a fascinating interpretation because I'm guilty of that. It's just, hey, real quick, you know why don't you tell, when did you come to Florida? How long have you been here? you know How many kids? and you know That whole questionnaire, just get that out of the way.
00:25:29
Speaker
I'm guilty of that. So I'm like, so as you're talking, I'm evaluating myself like, Dan, I should probably change that up a little bit. Well, you want to gather some information. I mean, you know, they talk about women and people or men do this to looking people up online and getting in the back story on them. Like, were they arrested? Were there pedophiles? What are they? Were that I agree with that spirit agrees with that because you kind of need to be safe. So but when it is a partner, when it's somebody that it's meant to be on your path, you will just fall. That's what I talk about when I, you'll just fall for it. You'll just go with it and you'll, and it doesn't mean you don't get nervous. It doesn't mean you don't have apprehension, but you really will temper yourself. And like I said, Stephen, what you're saying is you want to ask some of those questions and maybe the first day that's fun, but by the second, third day, who are they? Like, do they have the depth that you're looking for?
00:26:27
Speaker
You know, ah are they serious minded? You know, what I like about um some people that I've dated, the biggest turn off for me is somebody that is extremely direct with me. I'm an extremely direct guy. I like extreme direct back. I like somebody that's not afraid to tell me exactly what they think or where they stand. It really intrigues me because that I don't have time to talk fluff. I don't need to be told how cute I am I don't need to be told how fun I am. Oh, aren't I adorable? I don't need to be told I'm a bear cause I'm not a bear. You know, any of that stuff. Just tell me who you are and tell me what, who you are as a person, not like what you're looking for. This is, and we talked about this before in the other podcast. I don't need to know what you're looking for. You don't even know what you're looking for. If you did, you wouldn't be single. I'll say this until I die. But like you said, Steven,
00:27:21
Speaker
maybe temper that a little bit. You can answer those questions, but start to ask questions that are a little bit more probing. Like, you know what what are you passionate about in life? what you know What type of spirituality or do you follow if you're looking for that? you know What is your practice like? What do you do? you know Not, oh, how many men have you been with? How many girls have you been with? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. We all have lives before we need people. what that You don't need the...
00:27:50
Speaker
got The one thing you gave me the reading that really resonates and I apply, you know, daily to every, but every interaction, um, probably because of one of my past relationships is to allow people to show up as who they are now. You know, and the, and my addition to that was, as far as the past goes, remember the lesson, but don't bring that forward on to me.
00:28:15
Speaker
Yes, yes. and And the thing is, when somebody shows up with who they are, right, that's going to allow you that gateway to be vulnerable, to show who you are. If they're presenting who they are straight from the door, that's why I said, and to add to Maya, love isn't that difficult.
00:28:32
Speaker
although it's the staying power and how you cultivate it that is difficult. And it's work. I hate to say to people, you don't meet Prince Charming, you don't meet the the Queen, the Princess, whatever you are, and whatever you think you are, you're not, you're an asshole like everybody else. But the thing is, that being said, like meet somebody on your level. You want to look for directness, you want to look for honesty, and you want to follow that through. Ladies, you got quiet.
00:29:00
Speaker
they you have I was saying on the first date how I view things is, I know people show up on the first date as like they try to be the best version on themselves and they may some be faking it, putting on a show. But the things I also look for is like action, right? Are they opening the door for you? If not, not the cart. I'm not saying like cart or like old school like that. Like the door of the restaurant or do they let you walk through first or are they kind of like let you walk on the inside of the sidewalk? Like little things like that or if you're driving with them is their road race. or how do they treat the people around them like the waiter or the hostess or these things like I don't think they they can't really fake as much versus like oh like what do you do like you know like those are the things I pay attention to is more the action than like what the bullshit oh sorry that they could be spewing if that makes sense now you're right on point that's why my first date it's like if I see it's like
00:29:54
Speaker
If like your action is you're right on point because that's what spirit wants you to pay attention to because even on that first date, you're very insightful. Very wise. I give you props because that shows you.
00:30:09
Speaker
i don't know you eyes you got a delco for long you want to meet someone in person maybe Maybe we'll take you out of Delco and do like put you in different areas in different parts of the yeah Internationally and just plop you down various places But no what you're saying Danny makes total sense of spirits down with that Those are the things you should pay attention to when I say watch wait and listen, that's part of the watch Yeah. Let them show you who they are about what they do. People will. And first of all, let's be real. Men and women tell on themselves in five minutes. They'll tell you everything about themselves in five minutes. And, you know, so and you dating when I read you and knowing you, you're a little you're very enlightened and you need somebody very enlightened. You can't be with basic and not that you're high maintenance, you're very high quality.
00:31:01
Speaker
but But exactly what you're doing is what they would like us to do, because that gets you over that initial first date to tell you whether you want to go on that second date. I'm not telling you not to trust your instincts, and you're very instinctual. But like I said, some people, the stuff that they, how can I say this? The stuff that they hold on to is extremely petty. Like I said, what happened if you met a short king? And it's everything you want, but he's short.
00:31:31
Speaker
You're gonna be like, oh no, I need somebody six foot. you I'm out. um yeah At least you're honest. But to go back to what Stephen's saying, that's exactly why men don't talk to women. Because what do you know, Stephen? As the straight A's here, women like tall men.
Romantic Partners vs. Soulmates
00:31:52
Speaker
Of course. But now they're short kings. like That's definitely changing.
00:31:57
Speaker
Yes. And that's what I was saying to what you're saying, Maya. Everything's starting to evolve. We're evolving. But on your own personal dating journey, yeah you want to be open to giving everyone a chance that you like. not the I'm not talking about looks that you like. That's why I like Danny saying, are they letting you walk on the inside of the street so nobody grabs your purse and snatches and runs or pushes you out in the traffic? Danny on that one, like how they're treating if you're at a restaurant, how they're treating the waitstaff, how they're, that will be an immediate no for me. If there's any rudeness or any sense of entitlement, that'll be a no. But Jimmy, you mentioned earlier, obviously relationships take work and I think that was something we talked about in earlier episodes where it's not as if you meet your life partner and then all of a sudden it's rainbows and butterflies and it's so easy and you don't fight. But I think what people struggle with, how do you find the balance and, or maybe get spirits insight on, how do you find the balance between
00:32:57
Speaker
not going for grass is greener, but also not settling and staying in something because you're afraid that you won't find something that maybe fits you better. Does that make sense? like How do you find that balance when it comes to dating and relationships? Because if you're meeting someone, if you meet someone, you want the communication to be open, you want the trust to be there, and you want to you would like the spirit would like you to be relaxed.
00:33:24
Speaker
It's somebody that you feel comfortable with to be vulnerable and even if and to be aware of yourself in that, to be in it. so really One thing I'm learning, and I'm learning this right now, and this is how I know I have soul lessons like everybody else, but nobody understands that. I have to check myself a lot when I'm in my head and who I am and how I relate to people. you know If I'm dating somebody, it's really about who I am with that person. Like I said, what do they activate within you? But deeper than that, it's more so somebody you feel relaxed with, that you can be vulnerable with, that you can express yourself to, and they meet you at that level. That's how you know it's time to move forward. When somebody really meets you at that level, it changes your whole world.
00:34:12
Speaker
It's all, and that's what I was saying before, like when it's partners or something's supposed to be, it's boom, you just know you're supposed to do it. It's not, and it doesn't mean that you don't get nervous or in your head or all the odd feelings that we all get, you know, or humanity. It means that you're willing to do the work on yourself and communicate and work with that other person. yeah And it's not about sacrificing so much, it can be, but it's not about sacrificing so much as it is navigating it. I like the word navigation. I like that we're a team, and we're in this together, and we're navigating together, and being open to receiving where the other person is. And and figure out that it's fluid. Love is fluid. It flows. And it's reciprocal flow. So yeah. Danny?
00:35:02
Speaker
Um, I have a question. So just, I remember, um, when I was dating this guy, you were like, pang, he's all right, but I got a pang. And then you're like, yeah, you're like, it's fine though. And I was like, well, no, I was like, well, what the heck's the pang? So how many pangs, you know, how many things should we be overlooking or continuing or does spirit like give you a pang? But then obviously there's free will, but Is there a certain amount of red flags where you're just like, no, or should we be working through it as a soul, like a lesson? It's somebody where you, it's somebody in and the beginning, you're not going to quite be comfortable. Like I said, the flow should be easy, but you might not quite be comfortable, but it's the pangs come or the red flags come.
00:35:49
Speaker
when you when it's a sticking point. it's like you They're really not listening to you. they're really not um They're really not listening to you. They're really not respecting you. They're not respecting boundaries. They're not hearing boundaries. There's no reconciliation. There's no self-awareness. Self-awareness of the other person, I mean. you know I was talking to somebody, and we had a little spat of fights and arguments and then they reached, we did some distance and then they reached out and apologized. That means a lot. That's somebody that's trying. And that's what I said, you want to see who's trying to meet you on that level. It doesn't mean that like, if if you're not there, don't do it. It means, okay, if you got somebody say, like I said, in my situation, somebody apologized to me, how do I want to receive that? And am I open to receiving that person and that apology? Am I open for forgiveness?
00:36:43
Speaker
or trying to understand and be compassionate towards someone else's humanity. But when it comes to red flags and pangs, if you really just are not jiving and they're abusive in the sense of over excitement, um really not respecting boundaries, really not setting boundaries,
00:37:05
Speaker
You know, that's usually a red flag of things. However, there are some exceptions in this Mayan will state, because I've heard you always say there's exceptions. I like when you say that. um There are people that things just move fast because it needs to move fast. Some of us are on <unk> trajectories where we've been stagnant for a while. So sometimes things come in quickly. But even in that expedition, that igniting of energy, it's to find the pace of that.
00:37:35
Speaker
and to see how you can cultivate and navigate it. Did that answer your question? Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I think that's a good point, Danny, because ah it sounds like, too, Jimmy, what you're saying is if it's also a repetitive thing that comes up a lot, because Sure, someone can come out back and say, I apologize, and they're self-aware. But it's kind of what we just talked about. If actions don't match their words, if they keep doing the same thing, but they just apologize and think that they'll be able to get away with it, because if they keep apologizing, that's also a red flag. So it's finding that pattern and listening to yourself about how you feel when they move, like when they don't do what they say they're going to do. Right. And um another thing to be aware of, if if it's a pattern, you're repeating.
00:38:17
Speaker
a lot of times we're good at pointing that finger and saying oh it's them but start to pay attention to your own patterns of who you attract what type of situation should get in i know men and women that move extremely fast for no reason and then then panic because they're moving fast and act like they have no control over the situation i'm like you've done this like three times like how many we need to take accountability I mean Jimmy I am the common denominator in all of my relationships so yes I mean I can't really blame anybody but myself but Danny that's what I was saying too with this red flags it's like if it's
00:38:55
Speaker
to be aware of things if it's triggering something in you that's been a repeat pattern to add to what you were saying, um you want to be aware of that too and be like, maybe I can set the pace. What happens is I think people get swept up in the initial excitement of meeting each other and they don't, they literally don't want to be accountable or responsible for themselves because they feel like love is fleeting. And we are in a society today that feels love starved and loves sick.
00:39:27
Speaker
The people are getting together out of panic. They're getting together, you know, out of settling. And where Spirit would like us to take it too. is who are we connecting to? how do we Think about how you want to be as a couple. What do you want to bring to this planet as a couple? Think about people that have children. And and I know the two of you have children. And when you're creating those children, they're a representation of you and what you're creating and what you're bringing leaving behind is your legacy to the world. Why can't you do that in your love relationship? Who are we as individuals and who are we together? And what do we want to bring together
00:40:06
Speaker
in our lives, in our legacy as a couple. That make that might not have made sense. It might have went over your heads, but like. I think I was pretty deep actually. I'm going to simmer on that one for a minute. It needs some time to cook. Some things do need some time to cook.
00:40:26
Speaker
Yeah, and I think dating can be so different too, and it's not talked about as much, but in different decades of your life, right? And I think as the older we get, I think why people might gravitate towards the questionnaires or the apps or things are getting to know those questions is because we think, well, we're running out of time. Society puts a lot of standards on time and aging and appropriateness of when things should occur in your life.
Societal Pressures and Love Timelines
00:40:56
Speaker
You know, um and I think what I would like to encourage my listeners as well as clients and anybody is set your own time and your own God's time, your own divine time, spirit's time, not to get all godly, but your own spirit's time in the universe. So when it's meant to happen, it happens. That's why sometimes you'll meet somebody like that at the last minute. That's why people come in to push you forward and there are choices to be made or you will miss out on certain things.
00:41:24
Speaker
Um, I do, Maya, to add to that, I do believe, I do believe people can have romantic partners. I don't believe everybody chooses romantic partners. You know, um, as far as children, I think people, I think women spend a lot of time expelling a lot of energy on having children. I get it. Like I'm i'm not a female, but I get it. That's however, they don't spend a lot of time thinking about who they're making children with.
00:41:54
Speaker
Or finding the partner People talk to me about kids. I was like, you don't even know anybody like you're not even dating like you're talking about kids You're gonna have kids in your future. But like I'm like, you're not dating anybody. You don't leave your house. You're not doing anything with my kids Well, we're kind of conditioned from a young age that a woman like your goal should be to become a mom and you should really want like you should really want to have kids because I have a lot of friends that don't want kids and they're looked at as what's wrong with you. It's not that they hate children. They just they know that they might rather be the auntie or it's just not something they want in their lifetime. um No, I agree. I think I think there's so much pressure on women. I think there's so much pressure on women.
00:42:33
Speaker
um And like I said, I think it's about making designing your own life. Make your own life the way you want it. And understand that um even if you don't have children and you're trying to have children or you think you're too old to have children, you have other things in your life that are fulfilling. And I agree with your mind. I think society for both, and they do this for men too, Steven, you can vouch for this. You got to have a family. You got to have a legacy. family name It's the It's that kind of thing instead of like you're your own legacy.
00:43:04
Speaker
You know, I hope when I leave this planet that I've touched a lot of lives that people remember me. And if I could be talked about for at least 10 to 20 years, maybe I did a good job. If I could be talked about for 50 years, I did an excellent job. Because most people will forget who you were, your name, and where you came from. Just think about your great, great, great, great grandchildren. They're not gonna know who you are. Do you know your grandparents or great grandparents? Your great, great, great parents. I know their names. I have pictures. But I don't know, I don't know who they were as people.
00:43:33
Speaker
So the whole idea of legacy is you wanna leave behind a good heart print and you would hope that you' your love and your heart print is shared with other people.
00:43:45
Speaker
You want that, your legacy is the love that you leave behind. But like I say, Maya, I totally agree. I think men and women are both, oh, you gotta do this. And I bravo to the people that you know and the people that I know that are starting not to have children. I think that's an excellent choice.
00:44:01
Speaker
Because what's happening when people choose to have children or choose not to, they're looking at themselves outside of themselves. The world around them, can they economically afford it? you know For me, I thought about children for a while. I have so many health conditions. I don't know that I could stand having a child. I love children. I don't know that I would be a good father because of my own health issues and needs. It doesn't mean that I'm not a great person. It doesn't mean I wouldn't be a good father.
00:44:28
Speaker
but I have to think about if I have all these conditions and I created a life, what would I give them? And this is nothing against my parents. They didn't think about what legacy they would have. My mother's first child was stillbirth. My brother was born with cerebral hemorrhages. I was born with physical disabilities. And um my mother was severe juvenile diabetic. And I told her not to have children. But I was meant to be here because she wanted children. and But nobody thought about what kind of health I would have.
00:44:59
Speaker
or what could happen. You know, so people that are choosing not to have children, bravo, because they're thinking outside of themselves, and that should be commended and should be encouraged at times. You know, to each their own. There's no, like I said, I'm not the moral police. I don't know right or wrong, and I don't begrudge my parents for having me. I'm grateful I'm here, and apparently I was supposed to be here. But, you know, I do believe that with society, we have to start raising much our boys and girls different, our children different,
00:45:27
Speaker
and raising them to be happy and fulfilled other than just having the nuclear family. However, spirit likes family. They like love, you know, but let it happen in its own way, its own accord. Wouldn't it be nice if you made a friend and that friend turned out to be a romantic love story for you, that you both made that decision without the pressure of I have to ask somebody else, or, you know, I have to get online and look for this person, or I have to go on that blind date to see if that person's it for me.
00:45:57
Speaker
I think if we looked at people as our friends and and alliances and just we're here together and start to come in that line and say, you're going to attract more of who you are.
00:46:10
Speaker
Well said. but But like I said, we are shifting in a ah way where, like I said, marriage might become a thing of the past and people might get together to grow spiritually with one another. Children may be had, romance may happen.
00:46:24
Speaker
But that might not be the core reason that people get together. Because is that the core reason people stay together anymore? Romance of children. How many people stay together? Out of finances. That you know of. And they have kids, and they're not romantically involved, or they have open relationships, or they're polyamorous, whatever. Teach them, there's no wrong with spirit. They don't see wrong in that. But like I said, we're shifting into a different era where people are gonna come together for different reasons.
00:46:55
Speaker
I think we're seeing that with families too where they used to be, you know, you're just loyal to your blood family and they're your family and that's who you do everything for. And now we're seeing the chosen families where people that come into your life that are like families, especially if you maybe come from a home where you're not close with your family. I think people are going to start to shift in that direction. And that's why you're seeing a lot of divorce or people delaying marriage. Like younger generations are really delaying a marriage and they're marrying their best friends. You know, I just read a book, um, Generations by Jean Twenge, I think her name is. And she was saying that younger generations are marrying their best friends and buying houses together and having communal living because they know that's a solid relationship for them. And the pets are becoming their children and family. And I think that's a beautiful thing. And people are like, oh, what's the breakdown of the family, traditional family? Not necessarily. First of all, we have enough children. We have enough children to the point where we can't take care of them. They're exploited. We can't take care of them.
00:47:53
Speaker
you know, properly. It doesn't mean I'm not against people having children. Please don't think this is, but the thing is cultivate your lives so it works for you. You know, I think, and that goes back to what you're saying, Maya. We're raised as children that, oh, we gotta get married. And then we get told we gotta have children between this age and that age. And then all of a sudden we're going to doctors, fertility doctors 20, because in our mind we're told we can't have children. Just to make sure that we can have children.
00:48:21
Speaker
yeah Yeah. As we kind of wind down here, Danny or Steven, do you have anything else that's kind of on your mind in terms of this topic and wanting to get insights from spirit or Jimmy? How does spirit, um, feel about reality shows?
00:48:40
Speaker
Cause I love his blind. They're not exactly a fan because it's dramatized, exaggerated, and it's not exactly the truth of things. um And they see TV. I told you this before. We could we could talk about TV forever. Spirit argued over TV. I will say this again. They didn't really want TV because we shouldn't see war. We shouldn't be exposed to tragedy.
00:49:04
Speaker
And with reality shows, because most of them are scripted and they're encouraged to bring out the ugly in people, Spirit don doesn't really care for them. They like awareness that they bring, but they don't like that they're encouraged to show the ugly side of humanity. Think about how jealous, like love is blind, they all get jealous and they fight and they get all competitive. No, that's not what they want.
00:49:29
Speaker
For us, it's entertainment. But what's happening, Danny, I'm going to add to this. This goes along with porn and some other things. People get a skewed reality of what love is, what sex is, what relationships are based on these shows. And it goes back to what you're saying about social media. I'm going to harken back to that one because it's glimpses of what we're shown versus what's really happening and what's really going on.
Media's Influence on Love Perceptions
00:49:55
Speaker
And desensitized.
00:49:56
Speaker
Yes. Emotions that come from all that, whether it's sex, love, war, et cetera. Right, like this younger generation with sex and pornography and i'm not opposed to anything, everything in moderation.
00:50:10
Speaker
You know, but they think that this younger generation is having a hard time with women because they're watching pornography and they're thinking that's what they are supposed to do. That it's supposed to be rough. It's supposed to be wild. It's supposed to be this. It's supposed to be, you know, everything under the sun. But they're not dating or talking to men or women. They're not dating or talking to anybody. So they don't know. And when it comes to sexuality and and that and sexual relations,
00:50:37
Speaker
It's about connecting with people, but they're not making the connection. So they don't know what to do when they're put in and circumstances where sex and lovemaking is a part of something. And like I said, I'm not, there's no judgment here. This is not my own personal view, but that we do need to learn to find balance. The problem with people is we're not balanced.
00:51:02
Speaker
yeah And reality TV, to go back to what you were saying, Danny, is it's an exploitation at times. They do like awareness and they do like the hope that ah reality reality can show. Like they you know when they do get together and they are in love and they do stay in love, that's hope. You want hope. But the thing is, a lot of times things are encouraged to show one view. That's why if you notice with those shows, they'll pit women against each other. They'll pit men against each other.
00:51:31
Speaker
And, you know, I had a a friend of mine that was on a reality show, one of those shows, and he literally told me they sent him home because he refused to fight with another guy of a girl, over a girl. And he was like, I'm not going to fight over a woman. There's no need for me. So they sent him home. They got. yeah And that's what I mean. It's like you're seeing glimpses of that. It's not necessarily a reality of of what it is. And I don't think I really don't think And Steven, you might add to this for heterosexual men. I really don't think people want to, I don't think they want to fight for a woman. I don't. I don't think they want to fight for one woman like, Oh, she's it. And this is where I got to go. Cause you have different types of people that like different types of women and different types of men. yeah I don't think Steven, I don't think men like to fight over one woman. I've seen it happen. We all have this occasions, but it's very rare.
00:52:26
Speaker
I think it comes to age and where they are in that relationship. I can say the younger guys, if it's a longer relationship, yeah, because they'll probably feel, you know, possessive and try to keep it. As I've gotten older, I could see end of the mindset that I'm in is she's going to make whatever decisions she wants to do. It's either, you know what I mean? Like that' that's fine. The fact that you would entertain somebody else is and enough for me to say, okay, this isn't where I thought or where I want to be.
00:52:56
Speaker
et cetera, so I'm out. So you just made my decision for me. Right. It comes with wisdom. You're right. It comes up with with wisdom. And I don't
Women in Control of Relationships
00:53:05
Speaker
know if you're looking for depth in somebody who's running around. you know i don't I know for me, I don't have time for people running around. Women rule the world, though. I do believe women rule the world. I do. They choose who they're marrying. They choose the mating. They choose the babies. They choose everything. But they ah we don't have power. I'm like, you have a ton of power. It's being aware of that power.
00:53:26
Speaker
It's true, so although I do believe, on the other side of that, I see some scumble guys with some women. I'm just like, oh, Neanderthals. But like I'm saying, but I think women have a, excuse me, women have a lot of power. Well, now that we don't need our husband's signatures to open a credit card or a bank account, yes, we are kind of scary how late that happened. and Yeah, I think,
00:53:53
Speaker
I think we'll see too, as this is off topic, but as more women leaders come to power, which male leaders are fine, women leaders are fine, we'll just see that we can all coexist and balance. And it's more about, less about if you're a female or male, and it's more about who you are as a human. Exactly. And that's what women need to become aware of a lot of times. you know There's a a stigma that women don't know their power because they don't they haven't embraced their power.
00:54:20
Speaker
You know, although I agree with societal things, Maya, what you're saying, it's like, why why did it take so long to get a credit card? Why are women seen as property? But if you looked at arranged marriages, men are seen as property too. Although because it's a man, we discredit everything. Like, because as men, we discredit everything. But the man's gonna have the money. And it's it's like, as a society, no one is property. As a society, we're we are all equal.
00:54:46
Speaker
But I believe that empowerment and change comes on this planet when we accept that mindset of equality. Yeah. And when we take accountability for our own growth and our actions, I think especially when it comes to love, that's a big lesson I'm hearing is that.
00:55:02
Speaker
Take accountability, it's so easy as you said to point fingers, but naturally when you do take accountability and become more self-aware and hold those boundaries where you need to and hold your value, hopefully that'll reflect in your dating life, in your love life, even when it feels like super hopeless.
00:55:22
Speaker
a Then you get a dog, okay, is how I've lived my life. You know what, my dog is turning 18 next week and she has been more consistent than any of my love relationships. so That's why animals are so important. Pets are so important because they they walk us through every aspect of our lives. Yeah. And you're right, accountability is a big thing. it is The thing is too, you can only play dumb so long. I think a lot of people play dumb.
00:55:54
Speaker
to their own intuition. I do, not think they like um I think I think, not to call anybody dumb, but I do think they play dumb. I've seen, oh, I don't know what to do. I'm bad at detecting me. oh but I'm upset. I'm like, just handle it. this come out But you're right, Steven. Like you said, it comes with maturity. You've got to be ready to step into those shoes to walk further because we don't we don't wear the same shoe size forever in life, do we? No. We grow up and we evolve. But then why do so many guys choose such younger women?
00:56:25
Speaker
Guys choose younger women because they're easier to control. That's a control issue and a power issue. And they say that they like the fun. They say that they like fun. You've got to be careful what kind of fun you're getting. If you're going too young, you're not going to have anybody that has the debt that you need. So you've got to kind of find that middle ground. It doesn't mean, again, because people love to call me out. It doesn't mean there's not exceptions to the rule. But as I wrote this on my Facebook, men, women,
00:56:54
Speaker
And younger men, depending on who you're going after, want money and security. If you're going younger women, money, security, babies. Boom, boom, boom. It doesn't mean that you can't have a partner. But if you date a younger woman, she wants money, security, babies. That's why I said women rule the world. You choose everything. I think women got a lot of power that they don't they're not aware of. I do think women through history have been skates against, you know, hindered, oppressed, repressed to a degree. But I think we all go through periods of that. I think everyone does. But like I said, men will choose younger women like Leonardo because that's easy for him to control and have power over. And she's attractive and he's aging. And there's rumors, you know, in Hollywood, if you watch slow umbrella. But anyway, anyway, I'm not going to get into that topic, but
00:57:50
Speaker
It's usually a power issue. It's usually a control issue. It may be a soul lesson on daddying or being like needing to take care of somebody, rescuing, being the hero.
00:58:01
Speaker
Like women, when they choose younger men, same thing. They need to mommy somebody. They need somebody they can take care of. They need somebody they can give more of. It doesn't mean there's not exceptions to the rule or experiences. I'm not saying that. But when when you're repeatedly making those choices, you might want to look within yourself to see what might need some evolving or polishing. Go ahead, Stephen. So I'm curious i'm curious because you know Maya and Dan, and we've never actually met before the last episode.
00:58:30
Speaker
And one of the things that I thought we were going to talk about, which is kind of interesting to me is trying to date with with intent, um, but having a spiritual mindset. Okay. So as you know, maybe me and you guys, I'm actually very curious, uh, to hear what your concerns and issues and problems with dating are that that you're facing, um, both on a spiritual level and just in in general, you know,
00:58:58
Speaker
about men for the app. But I'm not included? No. a year after a different demographic. you True, true, true. Dan, you want to take it away first? Hey, Steven, I might have to cancel you right here. I'm feeling triggered.
00:59:17
Speaker
No, because I don't really have much to say because I haven't dated in a while. Like after my health issues, I've been, it's been on the back burner. so I have not, I wouldn't be the person to ask right now. how about When you were dating, what was difficult do you feel like? Or were you you were kind of a different person too, right? I was young, dumb, and stupid. I was just an idiot.
00:59:38
Speaker
for me out I want, I don't know if this is okay, but I like when I'm able to learn something from them. That's very interesting to me. That's, I, that will be a big, but I don't know if that's an expectation I'm putting on them, but it's just, I want them to have their own passions and things that they enjoy that I learn and grow. I don't know. That's, that's personally me, but I feel myself included. That's why we enjoy younger, slightly younger women is because we get to show the world to you and somebody else has.
01:00:11
Speaker
but We get to teach you and learn those things. that That's a major concept in why I prefer a few years. So you're saying you like to be the teacher? That's the difference if you want to be the teacher.
01:00:25
Speaker
Well, it's both to communicate and learn from each other. But, you know, if we're traveling the world and doing all these things, I want to be the first guy to take you there and do these things or, you know, talk about the spirit. That's an ego thing.
01:00:39
Speaker
That's an ego thing. and leon leo girl He's just roaring in front of us. ah No, but I think, I mean, a lot of women like dating older men, right? Like I know within my, and when I mean older, you know, because five to seven years when you're 20 is very different of a guy you're getting than five to seven years and someone in their forties, right? Or fifties, sixties, whatnot.
01:01:01
Speaker
so I think it depends on the decade that you're dating, because even in your 20s, I mean, I know guys so different in just two to three years of an age difference. um But I think, to your point, I never thought of it like that, but it's... That's a good point though, Steven. It's true. It's true. I hear that from a lot of men. I do hear that from a lot of men. It can't just be my ego then.
01:01:27
Speaker
I think I would be like, bitch, I can do it myself. Like, if I want to see Italy, I'm gonna go myself. Like, you know what I mean? This is the first time I'm doing this, but I may play devil's advocate. da Because now I'm curious. Could you say in a way that if you don't get that with a woman, whether she's younger or your age or older, does that mean she's tainted goods?
01:01:52
Speaker
That's where it goes back to ego. Does that mean like if you don't get, if you, if you went out with Danny, I'm using as an example and you didn't get to show her, I don't know where you've not been Danny Hawaii for the first time or Florida for the first time. Does that bruise your ego or is it okay if she's been to Hawaii? Just as an example, that's a very extreme example. I think it's both. I think a lot of it, uh,
01:02:18
Speaker
is there is a lot of ego involved with that. But men are highly competitive as it is, you know, we want to be the best of everything that we've ever experienced. But at the same time, it's, it's more specific, right? No, I can't. I'm on this page. You've been to this place before with with another guy, like I don't want to. um That's probably the ego in there. But so I'm not showing you anything you haven't seen before.
01:02:41
Speaker
Now, you know, right. But what you could show them is she hasn't seen it. She hasn't seen it with win you. like yeah be a different vari like It's a completely different experience with you versus you can't get stuck on the experience because that's external. Like the women are saying it's the experience with you and you could deepen that experience for them, make it a better, more enriching experience for them and knock them out of the park. Just blow their mind.
01:03:10
Speaker
And that's you learning confidence in who you are. Well, let me reverse the question then. If you bring me somewhere that means something to you. And I was like, oh, I i was here with Nina you know two years ago. What does that bring about to you? Does that not register at all with you? Whether you were here with Nina?
01:03:29
Speaker
Two years ago. It was a moment before you. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get where you're coming from. I get where you're coming from. But the thing is, if they're agreeing to the experience, then they're agreeing to the experience with you. That's true. For instance, I had a bad breakup, and I told you this, mind you, and went to Hawaii. I think Hawaii was the worst vacation I ever took in my life. I was so depressed and so exhausted from this breakup. I cried every day.
01:03:59
Speaker
And I've been wanting to go to Hawaii since I was nine. I went in 29. And I just had a bare, bare breakup. I can't sit here and say if I met somebody and they invited me to Hawaii and be like, Oh no, not Hawaii. Oh, it's too traumatic. It's like, it's It's the thing is the experience would be renewed with someone new. You have the chance to change somebody by enriching them with your own experience with them. But I agree with it. I do see what you're saying. It's like, ah he's been here with Nina. Why should I go to expand on that? Right. That something like that's not like a game ending. deal That's not a deal breaker for for one. So it doesn't, it's just like, it would be nice.
01:04:42
Speaker
I think Jimmy used it out there. It would be nice if I were the first one to show you. Oh, you list this place. You know I listen. I have your stuff screen recorded, Jimmy, all our readings. And when I'm on long trips driving or flying, I read this. I didn't know you'd screen recorded it. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. Sarah is here, too. Right? You talk about Sarah with the astrology. I had that reading four years ago, and I still listen to it at least once a year. That shit's phenomenal. I'm telling you. So yes, I try to apply what's out there.
01:05:12
Speaker
ah And I just completely forgot what I was saying. It would be nice if, you know, I'm getting to do these things the first time with that person. But I've also been in both situations where with in one relationship, that weighed a lot. It was like really depressing, disappointing, you know, it was like, man, but then there have been other relationships where it didn't matter at all. Like I like this person, we connect on so many other things. And I had the same viewpoint is Well, I'm just going to make it the best trip you've ever been. I'm going to replace that, not replace it, but I'm going to set the bar higher. type like No, and that's not ego. I want to I want to interject for one second. That's not ego. That's compassion. That's generosity. Those are good qualities. Hold on to that. That's not your ego when you're going to try and make somebody feel better and more comfortable.
01:06:06
Speaker
Well, I also hope Steven took someone to a place that they've been to with their old partner and they're not the whole time going like, I've been here with Jack, you know, and just and and they're not bringing that out because that's not at the forefront forefront of their mind, you know? just Yeah, I mean, yeah, we're going, but we're not staying in the same hotel or doing the same stuff. hey Right, right. However, you do go to the same restaurants with people.
01:06:32
Speaker
I think it differs if it was like a long term, like, you know what I mean? Well, Maya, my proposition to you is that I will experience Hawaii with you because I had a bad breakup with a Scorpio and you're a good Scorpio and I would like to experience Hawaii with you. Just don't break up with me when you come visit. I will show you a better Hawaii.
01:06:55
Speaker
you know As we kind of close this out, interesting. As always, I didn't expect where we went with these conversations. um i think it I'm hoping that people listening kind of got some insights and can do some self-reflection because that's what our podcast is about too, right? Of how can we integrate this and and have it resonate for our own, our growth and our journey, Jimmy. I'm going to manifest it.
01:07:21
Speaker
<unk>ggerism with his eyes but you know and i yeah it was ah It was a good in-depth episode. so anything Does any spirit want to close out with anything at all before we kind of wind this down? Just keep doing what you're doing. Do your best. Step into your power. Stand in conviction of your truth and allow room for growth around your truth and changing and evolving. And keep taking chances when it comes to dating and love and romance. Give people a chance, but more so give yourself the chance and explore and experience everything.
01:07:52
Speaker
Oh, love that. Beautiful. Thank you, Steven, for joining us for this episode. I'm excited to have you on um for more future episodes as well. And of course, as always, thank you, Jimmy. Thank you, Danny. Thank you so much, Spirit, for being here and giving us your insights. And most of all, thank you for everyone that's listening. So we'll see you all in the next episode. Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye.