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Why Bragging is a Leadership Skill (Not a Dirty Word)
40 Plays25 days ago
Is bragging bad—or just misunderstood? Robbie Spier Miller talks with Lisa Bragg, author of Bragging Rights, about why self-promotion is actually a vital leadership skill. They explore how women, professionals, and small business owners can reframe “bragging” as a way to lead, serve, and grow. You’ll learn practical strategies for sharing your accomplishments without ego, and how hypnosis can help you overcome self-doubt, build confidence, and feel safe being seen. Whether you’re quiet by nature or stuck in perfectionism, this conversation will help you claim your voice and show up like a leader.
Lisa Bragg helps leaders and businesses gain the recognition they deserve in a world where talent alone isn’t enough. Too often, professionals assume their work will speak for itself, only to find themselves overlooked. A former broadcast journalist turned entrepreneur, Lisa has worked with Fortune 500 companies, global associations, and industry leaders to help them amplify their success and increase their influence.
She is the author of Bragging Rights: How to Talk About Your Work Using Purposeful Self-Promotion and a sought-after speaker across the U.S. and Canada. Lisa teaches people how to claim credit for their work and turn visibility into new opportunities.
You can connect with Lisa at https://www.lisabragg.com
We are getting many requests these days for help with managing stress and navigating all of the change happening around us. So, we are offering free Stress Management workshops, both in person at our training facility in Burlington, Ontario Canada, and online via Zoom. Learn more and register here: https://www.hypnosistrainingcanada.com/stress-management-workshop
Learn more about how Robbie Spier Miller’s coaching, training, consulting and speaking opportunities can help you enhance your personal and business performance here:
https://www.hypnosistrainingcanada.com
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Transcript
Introduction: Narrating Your Own Story
00:00:00
Speaker
No one connects the dots for you. No one is the CEO of your life except for you. And so if you don't narrate your contribution, people fill in the gaps of what it is that you're here to do. And often they get it wrong.
00:00:18
Speaker
Welcome to the Habit of Possibility podcast, the show about turning obstacles into opportunities. I'm your host, Robbie Spear-Miller.
The Art of Self-Promotion
00:00:26
Speaker
Today, lisa Bragg, the author of the book Bragging Rights is joining us.
00:00:31
Speaker
She's going to show us why self-promotion is actually a vital skill and offer some great tips to embrace this skill. Now, before we begin, we have a special announcement. We've been having many requests these days for help with managing stress,
00:00:44
Speaker
and navigating all the change happening around us. So we're offering free one-hour stress management workshops both in person at our training facility in Burlington, Ontario, Canada and online via Zoom.
00:00:56
Speaker
Check the link in the show description for more info and to register. Now let's get started with the show.
00:01:05
Speaker
Hello, everybody. I'm Robbie Spear-Miller, your host of the Habit of Possibility podcast. Today, i am joined by Lisa Bragg, who is the author of this book called Bragging Rights.
00:01:16
Speaker
And Lisa, I have a question for you. Is it just a coincidence that your last name is Bragg? Well, I had no choice in the matter of that, but I did have a choice in the matter of when I named my book. And I think I am a study in my book. I am constantly, I need my book.
00:01:31
Speaker
I am a you know student of it. Why we need to talk about our successes, that silence isn't going to be our future. so bragging has been a big word of word in my life and it continues to be.
00:01:44
Speaker
Yeah, from day one. and Day one. Yeah. Yeah.
Strategic Self-Advocacy
00:01:48
Speaker
Great. So your book talks about how people mostly in the business world can help themselves ah progress in their career and craft their future because they are learning how to skillfully communicate about their accomplishments. Is that a ah fair summary? Yeah, good job. Yeah, because so many of us are taught to not talk about ourselves, you know, pass the microphone, put your head down, do good work, eventually someone will notice you or be so great they can't ignore you. Things like that, we're told, and then so we don't talk about our successes and share.
00:02:24
Speaker
Yeah. And we live in a noisier world than ever. So if if you're not top of mind to people, then they they won't think about you. they'll They'll go to like the easiest solution they can find.
00:02:37
Speaker
Yeah. But you know, it's not about being the loudest. It's not about turning up the volume necessarily. It's about really being strategic. And that's where in the title of the book, purposeful self-promotion came in. Like the word purposeful, the intention of it, because I don't want anyone to think, oh no, I'm not a raging extrovert. I can't do this work. And it's really anyone can do this work. If you are the quietest person in the room to that loud person, you know, we do need to share. And there's lots of different strategies and techniques that we can use to talk about our successes without feeling icky about it.
00:03:15
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yeah, something that I use and I work with a lot of small business owners and and some of them are experienced business owners. There are some that are brand new to having a business.
00:03:27
Speaker
And one of the things I see a lot is that they um they make it about themselves. So when they feel self-conscious about, we'll call it bragging, right, or just sharing what they can offer people, they they judge themselves about it or they worry about what other people will think of them.
00:03:45
Speaker
And it's so much more useful for them to focus on what does that other person need and how can I communicate that I can offer that to them? Because if they don't know you can give it to them, then why would they ask you for it?
00:03:59
Speaker
And with what we do here, a lot of people don't realize what's possible in unless you show them, because it's it's ah and another approach with hypnosis to making change. So a lot of people who need help They might have tried all kinds of things. It hasn't worked.
00:04:16
Speaker
They're in some kind of complacency about their situation. I'm sure you've seen a lot of people in the business world who feel that way about their said career situation. You've nailed it. Yeah, because no one connects the dots for you. No one is the CEO of your life except for you. And so...
00:04:33
Speaker
If you don't narrate your contribution, people fill in the gaps of what it is that you're here to do. And often they get it wrong. And so that's why we have to be self-advocacy, I think is the biggest word of our future, is being able to advocate for yourself.
00:04:48
Speaker
I would like to just take it back a second because I would like to liberate the word brag and bragging a little bit, if you don't mind. Because bragging and you know means to talk about one's success with pride.
00:05:00
Speaker
But my reframe is that pride also means justified self-love. And so when we brag, we are talking about our successes in service of other people. We're not putting on that puffery that I'm better than you, all that kind of stuff. It's really about here's how I'm successful and I'm meant to serve.
00:05:18
Speaker
And so that they don't go down the hall to that mediocre person or they don't even know that you're that person able to to solve ah or support all of their challenges
Bravery and Visibility in Modern Careers
00:05:28
Speaker
in life. So it's not self aggrandizement. I think we just lump it all with that word, which back in my broadcasting days, my background is broad TV news. and That would be a $5 word, $50 for inflation. so But self-aggrandizement, that's that puffery, that ickiness, that I'm better than you.
00:05:47
Speaker
All of that is in that word. But bragging used to mean, to brag was shine, shimmer, and bravery. So when I was doing the research and I found that, I'm like, yes, that's beautiful. because it's about how do we show up? How do we shine? How do we show others?
00:06:01
Speaker
And how are we also showing up as brave people to try things that we've never done? And I think that's a lot of the world we live in today is we're all doing things that we might not have done before and techniques that are new instead of in positions that we're in for for 35, 45 years. And it's pretty much the same job from you know, start to to the finish. So that's ah that's liberating the word brag a little bit.
00:06:26
Speaker
Yeah. So these days we all need to be flexible because nobody can possibly have 30 years of experience at something because nothing stays the same for 30 years.
00:06:38
Speaker
And so but we need to be confident in the flexibility and in the embracing challenges and ah comfortable with that process because some people think they need to get it perfectly before they can claim that they know it instead of appreciating that being in the process and trusting that they'll they'll get better and better at it with experience.
00:07:02
Speaker
Yeah, I just always want to tell people don't go for that next certificate. Yes, we always need to be getting more education and understanding new things. But so many of us, we wait for that next certificate to say, okay, now I'm ready. Now I'm ready. And then I have to oh, you know what, I'm going to wait for this. And then I'm going to wait for that. And we're always waiting. We're in that waiting place. I think there's a Dr. Seuss book about that.
00:07:23
Speaker
And we don't want to always be in the waiting place. We want to start showing our work, even when we're in the messy part of it. and sharing with each other. Because then we get more, more people will help us hone and finish and flex with that. And they'll also see that it's your work instead of somebody jumping in when you have it all nicely polished and finished and saying, oh, that looks nice. I'm going to claim that as my own.
00:07:45
Speaker
And there's nothing more frustrating than that. And so that's where we start, where we are today and start talking about our successes. And it's, you know, bragging is risk management. It's not ah nice to have anymore. When I started this book, it was like, oh, we be nice to do.
00:08:00
Speaker
Actually, it's risk management in the era that we live in. It's not about your ego at all. Visibility is not an ego play. It's really that parachute for when things go sideways. Okay, I've been doing the work. I know what to do.
00:08:14
Speaker
i have the steps. And even if you're in that middle of, uh-oh, where am I in that roller coaster or the parachute, you have this technique, these techniques, these tactics, these strategies to to go to to help you really land in a much better place.
00:08:28
Speaker
Yeah, that's a great point. And we've I've seen a lot of people who come to see me who have 20 certificates on their walls, and they've done nothing with any of it. And so it doesn't really mean very much.
00:08:40
Speaker
And it's much more powerful to go ahead and and start doing. And years ago, I coached this this woman who was struggling with getting a promotion at work. And we talked about how my husband has always been a master. He works for a bigger company for years.
00:08:57
Speaker
And he's also been always been a master when he's in a new workplace or a new position. to do the things they're asking him to do, but also look for something that would contribute that's beyond what he's been asked to do.
00:09:09
Speaker
And he doesn't ask for permission to do it. He goes and does it. And then he shows people what he did. And they're like, wow, this is amazing. You need to teach other people this. And I think these days we need that kind of leadership because leaders, we need lots of leaders. Everybody needs to be a leader.
00:09:26
Speaker
And the people who are managing people can't possibly um come up with all the ideas or give all the instructions. We want people who can run with that.
The Entrepreneurial Mindset in Careers
00:09:36
Speaker
Yeah, that is such a great, great idea because, well, first of all, I always tell people no matter age and stage that enthusiasm counts so much nowadays.
00:09:47
Speaker
So just doing what's exactly in the rubric of your job title isn't like that. We've had that for so long now. That's not on my job description. I'm not going to do it. If you want to start future-proofing yourself, you're going ah but above above and beyond in some little ways. And I'm not asking all of us to do more and more work, but you're thinking strategically.
00:10:07
Speaker
i think that story you said you mentioned too but is your husband coming in as a 10. Like when we get hired, they're not hiring us as a three. They're hiring us because they think we're the best.
00:10:19
Speaker
But so often, a lot of us pull way back thinking, you know what? I'm going to just dial it down, get the lay of the land. Then I'm going to incrementally step up. And then when I get, well, then I'll share something.
00:10:32
Speaker
But when you come in as a 10 right away, then you're going to go up. But if you're coming in as a oh I'm going dial back to a five, then you have to make up that ground and you won't, they won't see that future potential of you. So come in as a 10.
00:10:46
Speaker
And so if you did originally come in as a five in the job that you are in now, don't fret, start coming in today as that 10. So then they're going to automatically give you that, that halo effect and let let, let you go further. And then maybe you don't always have to be that 10 because they know that you are solid and a rock star So you can dial it back down. But so many of us try to pull it way back. We don't want to give away too much. And then that becomes problematic where we have to then overwork to get back and then overwork to get that promotion. But doing small strategic things, it's like coming up with ideas and sharing them and showing our work.
00:11:23
Speaker
That's what's going to get you ahead or at least keep you in the same role you're in now as people. ah a lot of people are afraid of losing what they have. It's not even about getting ahead. It's losing what they have. Yeah, I found that it's very helpful to model people who are ahead of you.
00:11:39
Speaker
So if you start behaving as if you already have the promotion, you're a lot more likely to get the promotion. And if you're just waiting for somebody to give it to you, kind of like having a certificate on your wall, you're probably going to be waiting a long time.
00:11:53
Speaker
you Especially in our culture. Yeah. yeah yeah yeah Sorry. I'm going to jump in. Cause that's, I talked there. i talked when I did my, wrote my book, i was doing a lot of research. I did international research for it and talk to a panel of women from Japan. Interesting. Cause panel ah it's very much a collective, a society, but one woman told me there that they have this thing called.
00:12:13
Speaker
saura And the apologies if I'm getting the pronouncer wrong, but what it essentially means is that it's in the air. And so when you want a promotion, you're, Your leader already knows it because they can feel it. You've signaled it without being overt. You don't say it or write it or do anything. You just embody it.
00:12:30
Speaker
And so your leader is supposed to pick up on that and know and do that for you. But in the Western world, we're not that attuned to each other, unfortunately. Like we're just, we have so many things.
00:12:44
Speaker
Our culture doesn't really promote that. And so you do have to say, I want this. Here's where I want to go You mark it to where you want to go and you let people know that's where you want to go. You can't, you know, the silence is not a strategic thing. It's not a silence thing. You can't ah get ahead on when you're, it has a shelf life. Silence has a shelf life and it means you do too in whatever role you're doing that. it So it's, you know, being indivisible and,
Navigating Remote Work Challenges
00:13:15
Speaker
Being invisible and indispensable doesn't work, right? You can't be invisible because still, even if you are the one that has the keys to everything, if they don't know that you're the person, you know, you've seen that happen. That's one person who's that, and then they let them go. They didn't know that they had all that knowledge and all the institutional, bag not baggage, but knowledge that goes with it. Exactly.
00:13:43
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. You know, years ago I used to work in IT consulting and I started when it was like the first internet boom in the late 90s, like when the very first websites were being built.
00:13:54
Speaker
And it was a consulting company that worked for a lot of large companies like, you know, IBM and Sears, Sears, which no longer exists anymore. But at the time it was a big deal. It was their first website.
00:14:05
Speaker
And so we went through this this time where people were just throwing money at us to build them websites and then crashed and there was a stock market correction. Our company got acquired by a larger company and we started have layoffs.
00:14:19
Speaker
And I remember my manager saying to the team, he said to us, In your career, you really want to make sure that you know your worth out on the market, not just here, but you need to be seeing what what people are paying for your skills.
00:14:34
Speaker
You need to know where you stand. And so if you find another place that that values you and you get an opportunity, go and take it. Now, of course, he was saying this when they were doing layoffs, but but we need to know this, right? All of us individually need to know this even when things are good, because that's when the best opportunities happen.
00:14:54
Speaker
But if you look at your career in a more entrepreneurial way, you will get more opportunities. You'll take it further. You'll show yourself what's possible. And so I thought that that point of view was very, very wise and, you know, great that, you know, it would be nice if he shared it that with us in general, but at least he did At least he did when we were having layoffs.
00:15:17
Speaker
But I've kept that with me because, you know, I'm an entrepreneur. And and when you own a business, you you have to always be ahead of things. You have to be constantly innovating and communicating with people about what you do, fragging, um because otherwise people won't come. They won't know what you can do for them. So it's part of the territory. And I think sometimes when people are employees, they get comfy, they're getting a regular paycheck.
00:15:43
Speaker
They don't have the same kind of immediate response to their actions as we do as a small business owner. So sometimes they if there's a delayed reaction, the consequences can be a lot bigger.
00:15:56
Speaker
You know, yes. And what I would say to that is everyone has to position themselves as a CEO of their own life. And making money is a big part of our lives for most of us.
00:16:09
Speaker
You know, we can follow our passions and follow our dreams, but we do at the end of the day have to also make money. And so if you're not aware of the landscape, like your your leader said and said, what's your value? What are you worth out on the market?
00:16:21
Speaker
But then if you're also not realizing, hey, where am I strategically? Where do I want to go? Then you're missing out on the future. I interviewed a woman for the book and she didn't want a promotion. She didn't want to go anywhere. She loved her job.
00:16:36
Speaker
She didn't like her new boss, though. And so what's going to happen? So she was always quiet. I worry for her because she's not part of the whole game. And a lot of people who are remote, there there's a proximity bias still. you know We've done so many things to work with hybrid and how to bring people in.
00:16:56
Speaker
But when you're when people don't see you, they don't value as much. And so when you are working at a distance, we We have some strategies to make sure and some tactics to make sure that people are being seen and being heard. You don't want to just, you know, turn off everything and not be there.
00:17:14
Speaker
People need to know what your value
Aligning Personal and Company Success
00:17:16
Speaker
is. like Again, there's, you know, we also think we're always for the team. And yes, we are team players. We want to...
00:17:25
Speaker
we want to fit in, we want to stand out and we want to add in, but you know, there's, there is no in team. We know that, but there is in credit. And so you have to take credit to make sure that you're protecting yourself so you can continue to be part of that team or be able to leapfrog to that next team. If something goes offside. Yeah.
00:17:48
Speaker
Yeah, staying still is not an option, even if we wish it was. No, it's not anymore. You know, I think it's people, it's, you have to be strategic if you, in any role, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're in leadership, if you're a team member, if you're an individual individual contributor.
00:18:07
Speaker
Board member, we have to be really strategic about visibility and making sure that it's sustainable and that we're true to who we are, of course. But, you know, we don't want it to be performative noise that we're part of that grind that's out there right now.
00:18:21
Speaker
But how do we be really strategic and tactical about where we want to go? And that's why in the book I do have at those end of every chapter I have to do to share and to think like we want to do these things so that we're thinking about ourselves and that we're also thinking How do I get those tactical things going so that I know what to say and what to do? And then also, how do I share this with others? Because it sounds like a me, me, me story, all these things.
00:18:45
Speaker
But when we go together, it's so much better, especially when, you know, in those scarcity times is one thing. And then also when there's abundance, but especially in those scarcity times, we need to go together. we need to widen who we're talking to and not winnow our opportunities.
00:19:01
Speaker
And I think it's important to keep in mind that our employer wants us to do a good job. Our employer wants us to contribute, right? Like that's why they've hired us. So it's a good thing that that's happening for them. Yeah. And that's where most, I mostly work in corporate. So a lot of corporations bring me in to help their teams to talk about their successes. Cause so many people, they wait for their clients to say, so tell us how great you are kind of thing. Like, tell us a story.
00:19:29
Speaker
instead of offering up these stories right away. And you your employer wants you to talk about your successes because then it's also the halo effect for our new clients, for new customers, and for new amazing employees just like you.
00:19:44
Speaker
And so that's where talking about your successes, people want to go where people are successful. i don't want to work down there where everyone's mad and nobody's successful and who wants that? We want to go where it looks like greener pastures. Sure. We don't know, but it looks like it feels like it sounds like it must be something.
00:20:01
Speaker
Let's go figure it out instead of, you know, nobody talks about it. It's all a hidden secret or it's our party of of this group and nobody knows outside. Like, that's not fun. We need to share it.
00:20:12
Speaker
Yeah, so the the employees success is the company's success. The client's success is the company's success. And if if nobody knows, it's like it didn't happen, even if it did happen.
00:20:25
Speaker
Yeah. You need to tell. We need to talk about our successes so that more people know about us. You're future-proofing whatever it is that you're trying to to take care of. So your clients, you're you know where you work, and your own job.
00:20:39
Speaker
Job security is a big thing. So making sure that you're future-proofing all of that is what what it is through bragging and self-promotion. and And again, my book isn't about get on social media. The only one I mention is that I suggest is LinkedIn because people do a credibility check there, right? They check you out.
00:20:58
Speaker
I'm sure listeners are going to check me out right there right now. Like, who are we and what have we done? And also do we have anything in common? Cause humans love to have things in common, even if it's something as that's really far away. You know, if they there's some um research that if we just both started tapping our hands, right? then that's a connection. And we don't even know that we have it. We're just doing it. it It's almost at that very low level. I'm sure you could speak to this, but yeah it's better. We know it and we have this connection and we might not have very much in common in the the ways, in the psychographics that we would think of, but we have these small things that as humans, we look for those anchors.
00:21:39
Speaker
And so it doesn't have to be a big story. It could be small things, but LinkedIn is a place that people go to see things. So I'm not telling you to go and get a LinkedIn expert or do any of those things. But my recommendation is often at least participate and show up with a picture and comment on a few people once in a while.
00:21:57
Speaker
But um it's one of those places people want to check out your credibility because we are also no longer in small towns, most of us. where Everyone knows your name. You're on the next farm over. We're not in that environment where most of us are in bigger centers or we're
Building Confidence and Gratitude
00:22:12
Speaker
working. We are in those small environments, but we're working globally. And so how do you make sure that people know who you are and what you stand for? And that's so we have to use some of these digital tools that are in our in our toolbox now.
00:22:25
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome. So can you share with us a few of your like quick, easy tips that can help the audience get going with this right away? A few of them. I have so many in the book. um What I would suggest is to start a brag book. It's one of the simplest things to do.
00:22:40
Speaker
And why I want you to start there is because we need to brag to ourselves first. and so many people, we don't believe our own sauce. That's the thing. We don't believe it ourselves. And a lot of us have imposter syndrome. We don't, you know, and I talk about imposter experience. And so that's where,
00:22:57
Speaker
Yeah, you know what? I kind of know what I'm doing. i don't know what I'm doing at all. Why am I here? Oh, oh no, someone else is going to find out I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, yeah, I get what I'm doing. Okay, yeah. And then we jump to the next thing and the cycle goes. And that's why so many of us experience this feeling of and being an imposter.
00:23:15
Speaker
So that's where starting your own brag book, smile file, reflection notes, whatever you want to call it, really does count when you can start to see your own successes.
00:23:26
Speaker
And the amazing thing is that when you look back, you can start to see a red thread of where you've been and where you're going. And so, okay, I have all these kudos and compliments because we're taking them screen grabs whenever you can for if as long as it's not any...
00:23:43
Speaker
ah deep secrets from your work that you're taking those screen grabs a thank you or you're getting that that physical card that someone sent you and you're putting it away so that would be something and start with your own brag book um i would definitely start to practice braggitude i did not make that up so braggitude is a brag plus a thank you so you know you won this big account and i want to thank you know, my right-hand person for assisting me on this, or I want to thank, you know, my leader or my mentor or whatever it is. And so you want to make sure that's an easiest way to brag is to have a brag plus a thank you, braggitude, and share it like that. And a third thing I would say is, and there's so many more in my book, but a third thing I would say is,
00:24:26
Speaker
You know, people still love thank you cards. Those thank you cards that it's so quick to send an email, but if you really want to nail it, send a physical thank you card because people keep it. So that's probably one you've heard before, but are you doing it? That's the thing I would say. his number Yeah. So do those things that people will hold on to. And, you know, it's, it's, it's more work. Yes. Yes.
00:24:50
Speaker
To put a stamp on it, it's mail and where's their address, but then it shows that there's a little bit more effort. And so if you really want to nail something and, you know, it might not be something that they'll do today for you, but you're writing a thank you and a why this matters to you and people, people it's old school stuff that people love it. Because it's so old school now. So that's where people... Nobody gets anything but bills in the mail now. So when you get a card, you're like, who are you? Yeah. And these are things that you don't need a megaphone for. You just need the map.
00:25:20
Speaker
And that's where in my book, I give you more of the map of how to get there, how to navigate... without this being a full-time or part-time job, but you know we've already done the work, most of us. We've already had these successes. Now we need to amplify them.
00:25:34
Speaker
So many people I talk to, they get featured in magazines or publications and like papers or podcasts like this, and then they let it die. They don't do anything. They don't tell anyone that they've done this. So we have to amplify what we're doing.
00:25:51
Speaker
And a year from now, you win an award. A year from now, someone else is probably winning that at award award. Congratulate them. Send them that email. Send them that LinkedIn message.
00:26:02
Speaker
Put it on LinkedIn. Hey, a year ago, I won this. Five years ago, I won this. Put it back out there. So those are a few things that people can start today. Yeah, I love that Lisa. And you know there's a subconscious reason why people don't like to brag, and that's that our subconscious mind's primary job is to protect us and take care of us.
00:26:22
Speaker
So we're much more primed to notice the things that don't go well because then we're protecting ourselves for survival. And so the the degree to which will amplify the missteps or the things that we're not thrilled with or the possible things that could go wrong is like just naturally with most people much greater than noticing the things that go right. So we we train people a lot in exactly what you're talking about. And as you can see behind me here, we have all kinds of people on our wall bragging.
00:26:54
Speaker
And part of their program when they come for training or for one-on-one sessions here is that as they're making progress, we have them document their success. So we have them create you know our version of a brag book because it trains them to notice. Because I think that this is an inside job first.
00:27:12
Speaker
We need to start as as you know with our relationship with ourselves, training ourselves to appreciate all the progress we've made and all the things we've accomplished. And when we do it it, it flows very naturally to share it with others because it's just the way it is.
00:27:28
Speaker
So i think that that that whole package fits together. Yeah, that's so true because it is an inside job first. And that's where people think, well, because that's when I was – so my background is broadcasting.
00:27:40
Speaker
And so I'd go up to people and say, hey, I think you should be on camera and let me interview you. And many people would say, no, no, not me. Go down the hall. You know, I'm not ready. Yeah. And then i started one of Canada's first content companies, Media Face. So doing video animation e-learning, getting a lot of subject matter experts online video for the first time. Sounds like so long ago, but it wasn't really.
00:28:00
Speaker
And so often the executives in charge of the initiative would say, Lisa, how do I get get ahead to These people that you're putting on video are now being seen, being heard. They're getting promotions. They're on panels.
00:28:12
Speaker
All these great things are happening to them. And, you know, people would say, I've done social media and nothing's happening for me. And it's because they start to think that they have to do all these things instead of being really strategic about what it is that they're doing.
00:28:27
Speaker
And so that's where I realized, you know, there's something to all of this where we need to do some self-reflection. What is it about us that holds us back from talking about our successes? It's cultural. It's, you know, we...
00:28:42
Speaker
It's so much about culture and society. Like how do we, how our cultural norms set us up for talking about it? It's, some you know, the self-deprecation. We're taught to self-deprecate.
The Power of Positive Self-Talk
00:28:53
Speaker
A lot of us are taught that to say, oh, well, i was on this great podcast, but here's the 15 things I meant to say and I didn't say. And here's all the things that went wrong. And then my hair went flat.
00:29:04
Speaker
Like we do all those things instead of saying, you know what? I'm standing in my power and owning it because that's a big leap. of owning our successes. So starting where we are things aren't perfect, they'll never be perfect, to then being out there and being seen and being heard as the the authentic person that we are.
00:29:25
Speaker
Yeah, so we need to decide what how how our future is going to be act as if we're already there, right? Dress for it, behave in that way. It brings to mind, there's a woman I know here in Burlington, and I'm part of the Burlington Chamber of Commerce, and She's a small business owner and she loves people and she just shows up at the events and she knows everybody and she's connecting people and she's not in any official role at the chamber.
00:29:50
Speaker
um I think for a while she wasn't even a member. She was just visiting the events, but they made her an ambassador because she was already acting like she was. Right? And so she created, but it wasn't on purpose. She was doing what she does, but it was very visible because it's all about people.
00:30:07
Speaker
But how many of us might be doing that in a less visible way and nobody realizes? And and so being willing to share that in appropriate ways It can be subtle, it could be a by the way or a story. Storytelling can be a great way to share experiences.
00:30:24
Speaker
But to highlight, it's almost like taking charge of our brand or how people look at us, if that makes sense. Yeah, we do have to take charge. Self-advocacy is the biggest thing. And I think when people say the word brand, I think people get a little, uh-oh.
00:30:40
Speaker
I think I know but that's what we call it. I always hesitated the word brand. In the book I use, um I don't use personal branding because I feel like people... When it started out, it was always people who are selling like lifestyle, like lipsticks and different cosmetic things and want to be influencers and things like that.
00:31:00
Speaker
And so I call it professional brand, but I'd rather not call it anything at all. But I know we need to have this container, this package to think about how do we present ourselves in the world? And it's professional executive presence and all that, which just sounds so highfalutin. But How do we put it out there that people know what to say about us when we're not in the room? And so brand is that word that we land on. But I hope I can diffuse it a bit for people that it's not the big thing. But what do they say? Like that woman that you, the story you just told, she's this ambassador. And we're talking about her and she's this ambassador. And so people are seeing that about her. She's put that forward. She's marketed everything.
00:31:37
Speaker
maybe subconsciously to where she wanted to go, but probably pretty consciously. Like, I really love it here. i want to do these things. Maybe she didn't articulate it as I'm going to be the brand the but ambassador for this group, but she had that intention. And so intention, marketing to where you want to go showing up as a 10, and then people can feel that. They know that from you. And then also you're getting opportunities that you didn't even know existed.
00:32:01
Speaker
When you show up in those kind of ways and show up, again, helping people, it's not just who you know and what you know, it's who knows you and what they're going to say about you. Yeah. And people are paying attention. Even subtle things that you do, people notice.
00:32:19
Speaker
And they'll notice it in a positive way where they say, wow, we need this person to be in this role. Or they might notice it in a negative way where they say, whoa, what's going on with that person? Yeah. And so we we we're humans, there are always ups and downs, but we wanna get very skilled at highlighting the positive things that we want to, the direction we wanna go,
00:32:40
Speaker
right And how can we represent that? Because if we say negative things about ourselves or we'd say nothing, then that's what people that's the impression people will have about us. Whereas if we if we share the positive stories or things that we do, then that's the impression they'll have about us.
00:32:58
Speaker
Absolutely. Absolutely. You know yourself. And so when you say negative things about yourself to other people, they believe
Learning from Mistakes: Focus on Solutions
00:33:04
Speaker
it. It's so hard to diffuse that after the fact. Oh, I'm really bad at dancing. Okay. Well, she's really bad at dancing. She said so.
00:33:12
Speaker
And then all of a sudden it's like, we see her dancing that you're not going they're not going to think, oh, well, she's amazing. She's like, oh, she's okay. Where if you said, I'm really good at dancing and then you're, you're having fun with it. They're not going to, you know, they're going to say, well, maybe,
00:33:24
Speaker
But they're not going to, you're not, again, it's not starting at a three or a zero. You're going start, you know, up here. And then it's, it's not, you just don't want to put yourself down because the world is going to put you down. So start with some positive, put your, put, and I'm not saying to fake it till you make it or any of those things, but know that we we are all on a growth trajectory And that we're humans helping humans, having a human experience. And I think all of those things combined gives you some freedom to show your work today, show your messy middle and and start um bragging and self-promoting and not waiting.
00:34:03
Speaker
Yeah, and this really speaks to a lot of people feel a sense of shame when they make a mistake, but learning involves making mistakes. And so the more we're in, you're describing growth mindset, so the more we're accepting that learning process, and we were all going through it in this in this day and age, we don't have a choice, we're all kind of stumbling our way through things.
00:34:25
Speaker
The more we accept that and we're like, you know, have a sense of humor about it and it's just the way it is, then it's easier to celebrate the successes. But I think some people get very perfectionistic where they they feel very ashamed if they mess something up. and And it's got to be a blip on the radar.
00:34:42
Speaker
You learn from it and you move on. And if you can learn how to have that skill, that goes a long way to helping with this. and I do a program on growth mindset for some financial organizations. It's so funny because so often they think that it's about how do they grow their book, but it's actually about how do you grow your mind to a yes and or yet situation and knowing that being in a fixed mindset where it's like, I'm only good at these things. I only know how to do these things and that's it. I'm not going to learn.
00:35:13
Speaker
keeps you really stuck. And so that's where that growth mindset is necessary, especially in this time. And it's not being Pollyanna-esque. It's really saying, like, I can learn things. And I do want you to work to your strengths. We don't need to do everything.
00:35:27
Speaker
But maybe you're not good at it yet. And that yet gives you freedom to explore and to try. And I talk about this in the book, but It's when we reframe shame, i think shame stays with us for so long into guilt because guilt, you know, there's a lot of religious mechanisms to absolve us of guilt or there is the, jut you know, the judicial system. You do these things, the penalties lifted.
00:35:52
Speaker
we move through guilt, but we don't move so fast through shame. And a lot of us stay in a shame spiral, putting my hand up, a lot longer than what we should. And so try to reframe shame with guilt. I feel guilty that I didn't prepare enough for this big workshop speech, whatever it is. I feel guilty that I didn't.
00:36:11
Speaker
Instead of I feel so ashamed, I feel shame. And we wallow in it and we stay in that ruminating stance for far too long. So that shift is I think really helps me and helps a lot of people that I work with to say, okay, I'm going to try this. And it sounds sometimes these things are, you just try them on and see if it works. And it it' if it works at least once, it's a good thing to try.
00:36:32
Speaker
Yeah, yes. And I would suggest that what's even more useful is to say, hey, did what I just, was what I just did useful for my outcome or was it unuseful for my outcome?
00:36:44
Speaker
And that it's not about me as a person because when people get caught up in guilt and shame, they feel like it's a judgment of them as a person. So we wanna step outside of what we do. And you know we have a lot of people with this through hypnosis to train their subconscious mind to do this because that's where,
00:37:01
Speaker
All of this, that's the root of all of these responses to life, um to be able to separate how we feel about ourselves from the behavior we're doing. And then we can change the behavior.
00:37:14
Speaker
If it works, great, we'll keep it. And if it doesn't work, we can change it. And it's kind of like if you had dishes in the sink that needed to be washed, it's a matter of fact thing to go wash the dishes and you could just make it that way or you can make it a big deal and and think you're a terrible person because you have all these dishes in the sink that need to be washed.
00:37:35
Speaker
So true. You know, it's um it's it's having these tips and then making systems and realizing that, is this a repeatable process that I should use?
00:37:48
Speaker
And that's the thing. that's where building or getting knowledge from other people, listening to this podcast again, or getting my book, you can then see there's a repeatable process that will then allow you to not have all this weight, all these things you should have, could have, would have, you know, behind you.
00:38:07
Speaker
it's saying, okay, what can i do What's the audit? What are the tactics and strategies that I can then use to move forward in whatever it is that I want? so we're Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
00:38:20
Speaker
Years ago, somebody said to me, it's important as an adult that you know that if you make a mess, that you can clean up that mess. And that was very, you know, it was a discovery for me to look at things that way, because I grew up in a way that was very focused on guilt, right? More guilt than shame, but definitely those negative emotions.
00:38:42
Speaker
And when you get caught in that, it's like there is no way to clean it up. You just need to feel bad forever. And this is a much more practical way when you separate yourself from what what happens and you don't make it a definition of who you are.
00:38:57
Speaker
It's lot easier to say, hey, OK, I'm just going to go wash the dishes in the in the sink and then it's done and it's over. and theres there's really no emotion attached to that. It's just dishes in the sink.
00:39:08
Speaker
So i hope that example is useful for people so that they can maybe frame how they're looking at things in any way. Beautiful. Yeah. Awesome. Well, great. Thank you so much, Lisa. I think there were lots of great insights and tips that you shared and I really appreciate you joining us.
00:39:26
Speaker
Oh, thank you for having me. i appreciate it. Is there a way you want people to get in touch with you if they want to learn more? For sure. Yeah. I'm ah Lisa. at least So if you can find me on my website, lisabrag2gs.com. And I have a newsletter that I send out with anything that I'm up to and some tips that you can use for your own bragging and self-promotion. I'm always coming up.
00:39:49
Speaker
I think that's one of my things is I'm always coming up with new... IP, anything I can think of. I'm like, oh, here's a new idea. Here's something else. Let's try this, especially in this changing and evolving world. What else can I add to the to story? And so many things did not make it in my book. So I'm always willing to share those things.
00:40:07
Speaker
So finding me on my website and then also I'm pretty active on LinkedIn. So you can find me there. It's Lisa Bragg. And I'm sure you'll figure out which one it is because I have the Bragg and Wraith's book right there beside me.
00:40:19
Speaker
So Thank you for sharing it. I appreciate it. Yeah, you have it behind you too. I always love it when people have, you know, written in their books or commented and then they share those things with me too. so So those are a few things. And, you know, if you ever want to help an author out – It sounds like such a strange thing, but writing a review on wherever you bought it or borrowed it from helps an author out so much. And then it helps your other, other people who are going through what you're going through, because then it helps with all the algorithms for it to get into more audiences. And so if you do choose to buy or read my book, um it is available at many libraries.
00:40:58
Speaker
um Please do consider writing a review because it helps it get into more people, into their brains and they might need this food that I'm off bring. So I'd appreciate it. Awesome. And at least I'll piggyback on that and say that if you appreciate this podcast, if you can put a review, that would be excellent because then more people will find it and get and learn from it. So it's a great way to share it with more people.
00:41:22
Speaker
You know, Robbie, I just had ah somebody hold a mirror to me recently too, because he said, oh you know you're talking about hidden gems and you're a bit of a hidden gem. And I know in my book, But i didn't know I don't have a lot of LinkedIn testimonials.
00:41:35
Speaker
And he's saying the currency of that is huge. He has 300. I think I have five. And i just hadn't really thought about it. And of course, we have to figure out where we want to play. I'm not telling everyone to go and of a sudden... pad their LinkedIn if it doesn't matter to their world.
00:41:52
Speaker
But we don't ask for testimonials enough. So if LinkedIn is not your jam, no worries. But are you asking your leader once removed? Are you asking your employer? Are you asking that client for testimonials?
00:42:05
Speaker
Are you asking people who you know you had a coffee chat, they wanted to pick your brain, and you gave them all this knowledge? Well, then are they going on LinkedIn and saying, I appreciate her knowledge so much? And it doesn't necessarily always have to be about the work.
00:42:20
Speaker
It can also be about the human condition. The person gave you so much because we think, well, I can't write about them because I haven't actually gone and had a session with Robbie yet.
00:42:30
Speaker
But if you know Robbie, you can still remark about her character and the energy she gives to the world. And that's the same with my book. Even if you don't go out and get it and read it you can still comment on that person. It doesn't have to always be about that one product or that one skill that that she has. It can be about so many things. So I want to liberate...
00:42:52
Speaker
giving testimonials to people and making sure, give a five star, but doing those things so that other people can know. I think it's just such a good way to to share, to give back to the person that's given something to you and to also self-promote.
00:43:09
Speaker
When I signal to other people, hey, this person's worthy of you knowing, that also helps me look even better. So there's all that cross promotion that we can do with each other. Yeah. Awesome. Perfect. All right. Well, we can all get started right away.
00:43:23
Speaker
so Thank you so much, Lisa.
00:43:29
Speaker
Join us for our free one-hour stress management workshops. Go to the link in the show description to register. And if you're interested in connecting with me and learning about personal and business coaching, consulting, and training opportunities, go to mindlinkconsulting.com or hypnosistrainingcanada.com and schedule your free consultation. Let us know what you think of the show.
00:43:53
Speaker
Reach out to us at mindlinkconsulting.com. And if you like this show, please rate and review us so other people can find us too. Thanks so much for tuning in. I'm Robbie Spearmiller, the host of the Habit of Possibility podcast.
00:44:06
Speaker
Tune in next time to learn more about how you can turn obstacles into opportunities and make the most of your life and career.