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144. Unlocking Emotional Freedom: Eric Bigger’s Transformative Journey at Joshua Retreat
20 Plays4 hours ago
In this episode of the Spiritual Fitness Podcast, Eric Bigger shares insights from his transformative experience of unlocking emotional freedom at the "Joshua Retreat" organized by Everyman. Eric dives into the challenges and revelations he encountered, emphasizing the importance of spiritual fitness and emotional release. His recount of the retreat is not only a personal narrative but also a valuable lesson for those on similar paths. Eric engages listeners with discussion of vulnerability, self-discovery, and the power of masculine energy, laying out a framework for holistic personal growth.
Also in this episode:
- Emphasizing personal truth over connection helps foster stronger, more authentic relationships.
- Releasing anger through physical and emotional exercises can lead to profound joy and emotional release.
- Acknowledging one's own experiences authentically can positively impact personal and communal growth.
Check out Miracle Season’s collection: https://itsmiracleseason.co/collections/frontpage
Work with me: https://www.ericbigger.com/workwithme?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=work_with_m...
Connect with Simplified Impact: https://hubs.ly/Q02vvMJ90
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Transcript
Introduction to Spiritual Fitness Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger, and each week we will explore powerful practices, inspiring stories, and expert insights to guide you on your path to holistic health. By blending spirituality and physical wellness, we support you in strengthening your body and soul. Whether you're a seasoned spiritual seeker or just beginning your journey, the Spiritual Fitness Podcast is here to help you unlock your inner potential and live your most vibrant, purposeful life.
Eric's Spiritual Journey and Past Episodes
00:00:35
Speaker
It's Miracle Season.
00:00:40
Speaker
Spiritual Fitness, Spiritual Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger. We're back again for another episode. And today on Spiritual Fitness, we're going to talk about how I allow my spirit to become fit because previous episodes I talked about Joshua Retreat, Men's Retreat that I went to before 2025, every man. And I want to just kind of have a follow-up discussion about what I learned, the things I grew through,
00:01:10
Speaker
the awareness that was made and um integration that took place after a few weeks.
Subscription and Social Media Engagement
00:01:16
Speaker
But anyway, don't forget to subscribe to the YouTube, subscribe to the podcast, spiritual fitness podcast, all platforms, Apple podcast, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon, download, subscribe, share this episode, share previous episodes.
00:01:32
Speaker
Follow me on Instagram at Eric Bigger, DM me, connect. And if you need and you curious about working with me one on one, go to the show notes, click the link and sign up for our intentions call and let's work together. And if we are in the same alignment for our highest assignment, more than privileged to help you help you help us help the world. So it is.
Promotion of Elia Sparkling Rose
00:01:55
Speaker
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00:02:14
Speaker
Iliya, sparkling rose. But anyway, let's get into it, you know?
Confronting Fears and Seeking Truth at Men's Retreat
00:02:18
Speaker
I think, you know, the collective consciousness, at least in my eyes, for the masculine energy. Three weeks ago, I was in a deep meditation, and after I got out of that meditation, I had buzzing in my right ear, right? I did some research, and I was just like, what is this about? Spiritually, I called my energy healer, and she said, well, you know,
00:02:40
Speaker
the right side of the body is the Mashman side." And I was like, oh, that's a call to help the masculine collective, masculinity, men, right? And this was week before Josh Retreat put on by every man.
00:02:55
Speaker
So I was like, okay, because over the past year, I've helped so many women, clients evolve, transform, become their best self, integrate more self-love, allow them to drop more into their femininity and trust their spirituality and all these beautiful things. And from that,
00:03:13
Speaker
Like I said, yeah you know, as well is that I feel like with all that information and data, I was able to get more insight on what men might need for women and what men should be given and add into a woman's life outside of what we already know or been programmed to believe.
00:03:30
Speaker
However, job retreat, men's retreat was very intense in a way, you know, the first day I got there pretty late, took me four hours to get there. I left LA at two, got there at seven, was supposed to be there between two and five, so I was late, right? But the first exercise that I joined, it was 35 of us, by the way, and it was all eye contact. Like, you literally had to sit, I mean, sit, stand,
00:03:55
Speaker
And I think we went like, it was four or five men that we went in like rotation of the circle. And we had just had to stare in each other's eye for probably like maybe a minute 30. And then I think we was asking questions like, what do you see? Or we had a topic like, where do you feel shame the most in your life? Like it was intense, but it was good because After a few days i came back to l.a and i'm like looking at everybody and i left i look at me look at me look at me look at me but it was interesting because i mean parts of it parts of you or parts of me felt very uncomfortable other parts of me felt very strong and confident so it was it was really good to kind of drop us into the presence and just be in the moment.
00:04:36
Speaker
and not to judge a critique, but just to be available. In the first task or exercise, a question I would say we had from the facilitators was, what do you fear right now? And so I was thinking about, man, what do I fear? So interestingly, my fear wasn't about me, it was about other people. So my fear was, I'm afraid for the people I love and that I trust and care about the most for them not to face their darkness or the shadow side or face the truth that they need to. And I was just like, yeah, that's my fear. So I told Ma, because we had an accountability partner, I told him like, yeah, that's my fear, right? And then we went through the group. And so then it's my time to acknowledge my fear and the facility and say, Eric,
00:05:25
Speaker
What's your fear? I was like, I'm afraid for the people I love and care about not to face their darkness or their truth. He said, oh, interesting. What does that do to you when people don't face their fear that you love? And I was kind of stuck. I was like, um, and then I realized because of previous experiences, like, because I faced, you know, times where there was someone in front of me that I love said they didn't want to live anymore, that they didn't want to be here.
00:05:52
Speaker
and it freaked me out and I didn't know what to do and I felt, you know, helpless, like I couldn't do anything. And so when he asked me the question, a facilitator, I was saying, interesting. I think I'm afraid to face my fear, to feel their fear because I got to be responsible for
Avoiding Fears vs. Personal Truth
00:06:10
Speaker
them. And I'm afraid that I will have to face that. And what it came down to was that I avoid my fears to try to save people from their fears.
00:06:23
Speaker
And I think in those moments that I had those very heavy experiences, I think I was projecting my fear more on them, even though I was trying to help them because I wasn't acknowledging within my body, right? Well, I wasn't being aware of what I was feeling in my body because I was so in my mind trying to help.
00:06:40
Speaker
remove or solve or find a solution to the problem, which it was intense. Yeah, it was interesting that I'm like, oh, he's like, what's the fear that you have? Not about someone else. And my accountability partner told me at the end of the retreat, I'm jumping around, but just want to drop this in because it makes sense. He's like, Eric, be honest, man, when you told me your fear was about other people, I didn't trust you. You pushed me away.
00:07:08
Speaker
so you didn't allow me to like come into you because you wasn't making it about you. So I was just kind of like, basically what he says, is like I didn't feel safe in your presence when you told me that. And I was like... Jesus, right? Really baked my noodle. I really had something to think about. And then later that night, I had a family member call me, it's 10 o'clock my time because I'm getting in bed and it's one o'clock his time. It was so odd the time and that night after that situation or that experience, so they're exercising that group setting that night, my cousin was on the East Coast at one in the morning. He was calling me.
00:07:47
Speaker
It's like, man, can you pray for me? I can't sleep. You know, I can barely breathe. I'm afraid to go to sleep. And he's like, you're making me not even want to live anymore. So anyway, I was like the time I'm looking at the pattern and the timing of this, like we just was talking about this. So I said, okay. So I sent him a prayer, I pray for him. And I want to be and I was like, I got to trust that he's going to be okay without my presence. That's what I told myself.
00:08:12
Speaker
The next morning I wake up, I didn't check on my cousin. I think I made a sentence like a forgiveness technique, like a healing frequency video to listen to, to kind of calm his nerve. So I talked to the facilitator at every man and I was like, Hey, Brad is his name. I was like, Brad, you know what's interesting? Like last night I went home and I had a family member call me and was freaking out and like, say he couldn't sleep. And this was part of my, what do I fear the most? Right. Came up and he said, what happened? And I told him, he said, so,
00:08:40
Speaker
When things like that happen within your container, he said, because when you put your energy into their energy, you take their power away and you drop them more into fear because you're not allowing them to trust themselves that they're going to be okay. He didn't say this word, but basically saying like, you can't be their God in that moment. You have to trust, have faith, do what you can and let it go.
00:09:04
Speaker
And then I was just like, okay, this is good. This is good. So, you know, that was like going into
Expressing Personal Truth and Connection
00:09:10
Speaker
the second day. Mind you, it was only there from Friday to Sunday. You know, this is Saturday morning. We did some more like exercises and, you know, just to speed things up. So in that whole trajectory of those little moments and then the containers and spaces and exercises we did, I realized most men were there.
00:09:29
Speaker
including myself because we wanted to connect deeper to parts of ourselves that we run from or hide from or parts that don't make sense or we don't fully feel comfortable in. And there was a terminology or phrase is that most of us jeopardize truth for connection. So there was a lot of husbands there who were, they say that they jeopardize their truth to keep the connection with their wives, right? And then there was a moment where the guy stood up and he had to exercise he didn't really like and he spoke up.
00:09:58
Speaker
and he spoke his truth. Whether the connection would have been there or not, he went first and it like dropped us all into a more vulnerable state of no longer will we jeopardize our truth for connection, right? Of course, you gotta have discernment. It's a time and place for everything. But what I'm saying is is that I think most of us in the world, we won't say the truth because we wanna keep a connection. But what I learned from that was that when you think you're keeping a connection and you're not saying your truth, the connection is not as strong as you think.
00:10:28
Speaker
because you're not being authentic in it so it can't be powerful the way you think because you're not speaking your truth you're suppressing it so i've learned that not all the time when you speak the truth the connection become stronger in that moment but overtime.
Anger Ceremony and Emotional Release
00:10:44
Speaker
it will if you give it some grace and some pace, right? So that was something that stood out and also there was a lot of tears. It was a lot of men in pain. I mean, I cried several times and it was one thing that we did that really stood out to me because my challenge in life is that I'm so good at figuring things out in my mind and I don't let those things come through my body to actually feel it. So we're doing an exercise and I think we're talking about shame. Like, what do you shame the most?
00:11:12
Speaker
And guys were talking and the facilitator would say, oh, like one guy was like, he was going to do something in his relationship. And the facilitator was saying, well, what does that feel like? Do you feel stuck? He's like, I feel stuck. And he's like, okay, that's good. So let's be with that. Let's be stuck. Sometimes we got to accept stuff to get unstuck.
00:11:33
Speaker
And so one of my working statements when I left the retreat that I wanted to save is that as I live my new life, I will connect to the I in me and live for me for the greater good of the world I serve. Because what I realized when I speak about things, because I was challenged a few times, was where the facilitators like, Eric, when you speak, we love your energy, we love your passion, but you always talk about we and you. He said, we want to know about the I in you.
00:12:01
Speaker
So, instead of saying we, instead of you, say I. He said, this weekend is about you. It's not about others. It was so overwhelming, like, wow, I thought my I was we, right? But no, I thought my we talking about we was I, meaning I want to help the group so I would make it about the group. And he's like, no, we want you to make it about you so we can have a real group. So what I learned in that moment was that What does the I in me want? What does the I in me want in life? And so the facilitator was teaching me, he said, the more you say I, you bring me closer to you. Meaning the more vulnerable you get about your experience individually, you bring me in. When you get into we and you, you push back because we want to know what the I in you is dealing with so we can hold space for you. Or so you can hold space for yourself. So I was like, oh, interesting.
00:12:59
Speaker
And so there was moments, I figured out that most of my life I lived for we, I lived for people. I didn't live for myself. And I discovered that most of my life was to protect the identity of my family. So I would be a certain way, think a certain way, act a certain way, and look a certain way to cover up the identity of what my family really is, right? Oh, like I didn't want people to know where I was from and how he was raised. And you're just trying to hide behind the identity that I was projecting to cover up my family. And the facilitator is like, man, that's a lot of energy, man. That's a lot of work. He's like, you're strong. You put yourself across to save everybody, but you needed the most saving. You need help more than they need help. And I wasn't aware of that I was doing. And I was like, ah, the more I make it about I, the more I make it better for we.
00:13:56
Speaker
So basically what I'm saying is, if you don't understand, is that when I talk about what I experience, I make it better for the listener who's listening. I make it better for the people who want to know more. But if I just make it about, you have to do this and you and we, no, what does the I in me, what are you experiencing, Eric?
00:14:13
Speaker
So I'm really good at deflecting my truth and my feelings because I never felt safe in my feelings because when I wanted to be safe, there was no safety around. So I just kind of pushed my feelings down and just stayed in my mind and lived life. And that's how I survived. So the Josh Retreat, Every Man Men's Retreat was phenomenal for three reasons.
00:14:36
Speaker
One, I identified the I that I need to live in every day. Two, I was able to process my feelings and not be afraid of them. And three, I was able to let go of what I thought I should be to make everyone happy, right? There was two more exercises that I wanna speak on.
00:15:00
Speaker
One is, we did an anger ceremony. And in this anger ceremony, we were talking to the rock. well So we had two rocks. We hiked for our, the person your anger was in the right hand, the other rock was in your left hand. So we hiked for our, we hiked to a spot, and then we just screamed, we got angry. We talked to the rock as if say, your angry rock that you had in your right hand was your mom, your dad, your wife, whoever it was.
00:15:28
Speaker
and you're just having a conversation with the rock as if it's that person. And so mine was a lot about like my dad and what I had anger about coming up as a child and all these things. And you know, people were like screamer. um And I'm like, this is weird. And I'm laughing, and I'm like, look at me. So then I go off on a little spot, and then I do one screen. I'm like, okay, okay, that's weird. But then my spirit was like two more times. It was then the second time I like, said what I said to the rocket, if I'm talking to my dad, getting the energy out, and then I screamed again.
00:16:01
Speaker
And then at that point, I'm realizing like, all right, you're going to hurt yourself. Can you barely talk? I screamed one more time. It felt good. And then at the end, when you finish your 10 to 15 minutes of having a conversation with The Rock, whatever that person is in your life.
00:16:17
Speaker
come over and throw your rock in the water. We're gonna leave this anger here at this mountain spot, a place we are. So I go over and I think this Jeff is the facilitator. He looked in my eyes, he said, let it rip. And I was like, whoa, my whole soul jumped. And I threw the rock, but it's so interesting.
00:16:36
Speaker
Like I threw it and the rock came back like it didn't want to go to it. I said, oh no you won't. I pick up the rock. I almost hit someone actually. Threw the rock back in and I screamed so loud. and So I walk away and then the rock was gone. I sit down and all I know is tears just start coming down my eyes. I just start crying. I never in my life knew that releasing anger from my body could bring me so much joy.
00:17:04
Speaker
So it was like a joyful moment and a sad moment. And the sad moment was the grief I was having for the anger because that anger's what drove me and life to be who I am. And I held on to that anger as an anchor to be strong, whatever I thought. And I had to let it go. The cry felt like I felt the release in my body. like wow you know I felt good, I felt lighter, and those tears were shed. So it
Lessons on Vulnerability and Genuine Confidence
00:17:31
Speaker
was a very emotional weekend. I cried a lot. A lot of guys, we all cried. And you know I had a guy come up to me and say, he said, man, you have genuine confidence. And I was just like, damn.
00:17:44
Speaker
Genuine confidence. Never in my life heard that word. Genuine confidence. And I said, man, I appreciate that. Thank you. And and it was the first time in my life, because I've been working with this with my girlfriends, that I'm learning how to receive words. I really deflate words because I got words when I was young and no one really but fulfilled them. They just told me and the actions wasn't taken. So I was like, ah, words don't mean much to me. Get out of here.
00:18:09
Speaker
And it felt good to receive that from him, that you have genuine confidence. There was another guy there. He's like, Eric, and you triggered a fuck out of me, man. Like, you just have this confidence and this, this passion. And he said, you know what, though? I like you a lot because you're so real. You're just you. You know yourself. And he said, I seen you this whole weekend. When you make a mistake or you feel like you need to work on something, I see you going your head and try to figure it out. I was like, that even been watching me because that's me, right?
00:18:39
Speaker
He said, I like a lot of you. I think you could be the president one day. I was like president. He's like, yeah, bro. He's like likable. You're genuine. You're authentic. You're raw. You're passionate. And I was like, what? So he don't know. Most of my life, has I would say at least in my 20s, like 23, 24, 25, I just had this deep insight in my body that I could be the president one day.
00:19:04
Speaker
And not even from like an egotistical way, but just like innately, energetically, frequency, I feel like I can be the president. And he's like, yeah, you give me that. He said, you likable, you're convincing, you're real. You have a great persona about you. And I was just like, man, thank you.
00:19:21
Speaker
So it was really good to be in a space of men who were vulnerable, who were honest, full of integrity, and we just was letting our pain and our truth out. A lot of tears, a lot of deep stories of pain and sorrow, and a lot of stuff from childhood came up for everybody. So, shout out to every man, shout out to all the facilitators and all the fellas.
00:19:42
Speaker
Appreciate that time and that space because it's made me better. I'm able to kind of feel deeper into my body, feel deeper into my soul and not deflect from what I need to face. And honestly, like post retreat, I had two moments with my girlfriend that really shifted things in a great way because I allowed myself to be vulnerable where I was afraid and one part was very something I felt shameful about for years. I've never told anyone, but I was able to have that conversation.
00:20:11
Speaker
And it was
Connecting Men with Emotions and Spirituality
00:20:12
Speaker
so healing. So you never know why you meet people. You never know why things come into your life. But Everyman, Joshua Tree, Men's Retreat was amazing. I think they got one coming up in Country Hill, Texas. If you go to their website, everyman dot.com, I think it's E-V-R-Y-M-A-N.com. Really good. People was incredible. It was healing. So as I spoke before,
00:20:39
Speaker
I really want to help the masculine collective. I want to help men get more into their heart space, get more into their mind. I was with a client the other day and she's like, yeah, you give me art angel Michael and in Raphael. She's like, art angel Michael is like, it gives you confidence. He clears out negative energy. He's like the warrior. And then I think she was saying art angel Raphael is for the heart, being in your heart space.
00:21:05
Speaker
being vulnerable, but having a mind and heart connected. She said, that's a beautiful thing. And that's part of the healthy masculine. So I'm working with angels now. Shouts out to my client, Ashley George. But anyway, people, thank you for your time today. If this episode resonated with you, a man in your life, a brother, a friend, a husband, I mean, sentence to him, I think, you know, we all should be intentional about healing as men.
00:21:32
Speaker
And I want
Episode Wrap-Up and Listener Engagement
00:21:33
Speaker
us, as men, I want to get closer to my heart and my true self more and more so I can be better for life and the people I serve and the things I get to do. So it is, this was another episode. Subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to the YouTube.
00:21:47
Speaker
And if you got any questions, DM me. Let's just connect. Let's continue to build rapport. 2025 is going to be a phenomenal year as we see. It's been a shedding of things as ah LA. We had these fires, but we will get better. We'll become stronger and together we are better. So people tap in with your higher self. I see you guys saying peace.
00:22:10
Speaker
Thank you for joining us on the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. We hope today's episode has inspired you and provided valuable insights for your holistic health journey. By blending spirituality and physical wellness, you can strengthen your body, mind, and soul. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Until next time, stay strong, stay inspired, and remember, it's miracle season.