Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 23 - Procrastination (We've Been Putting This One Off)
90 Plays2 years ago
Paul and Martin (co-Mayors of ADHDville) chat about their struggles with procrastination. Paul talks about a management training course he could have won but didn't and Martin spoils Indiana Jones for everyone. By the way, weirdly we lost the ending of this podcast in a freak accident but hey, we got the important stuff.
------------
See our beautiful faces on YouTube.
Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember:
This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
All right.
Paul's Barry White Impression
00:00:02
Speaker
So you're ill, Paul. You're ill. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, uh, yeah, tomorrow I'm gonna, I'm going to sound like Barry White. Nice. How are you? Barry White smoked 120, smoked 120 fags a day. Maybe. Cigarettes, I should say. Lovely. Looking forward to that.
00:00:26
Speaker
Yeah, I'm over like a love Newt, I think.
ADHD and Pattern Recognition
00:00:33
Speaker
So what I was gonna mention, Martin West, is that this thing popped up in my head this week. So with pattern recognition, it's one of our superpowers, apparently, right?
00:00:52
Speaker
So we could just see patterns in front of us like way before anyone else could when maybe as such maybe ADHD is good mathematicians and what have yous. It came to my one time I was on this weekend course, management course with all the management crew of the agency. And the guys who were running the course, it was some kind of like, you know, there's those adventure courses you go on and you just like pick up points as you go along.
00:01:22
Speaker
and you have to like pick up clues and it lasted the whole weekend. And we split it into groups and everything. And they explained all the rules. And they explained all the rules. If you do this, you do that. And I was sitting there thinking, so if I do absolutely nothing, if I just don't get involved in this game, I'll win.
00:01:50
Speaker
there's like where you could pick up points and lose points and pick up points and lose points and lose points pick up pick up I thought so I swear to god my it's I didn't even have to think about it so if I just sat here did nothing I would win I just go to the pub wait for everyone to turn up on Sunday night all right right I didn't say anything because I thought oh don't be an idiot don't be an idiot
00:02:13
Speaker
So we carried on, right? Regardless, Saturday, all of Saturday, all of Sunday, got his crazy stuff, got to Sunday nights, everyone was sat down. So let's put all the points together. And he said, oh, team one and team two. And I said, but he said, I bet no one realized, no one in this room realized that if you'd done nothing, you'd have won anyway. And I put my hand up. And I said,
00:02:44
Speaker
I thought of that. And I swear to God, Martin, everyone, well, not everyone, several people look round at me and they just look to me like I was a piece of shit. Like I was just saying it for a fact. I swear to God. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, you are saying it often. They didn't like me. She didn't like me anyway. She literally said, Oh, you are so. But, you know, there you go. Well, I will.
Introduction: Hosts and Podcast Purpose
00:03:13
Speaker
You know what, it does remind me, I know I'm kind of like eating up time that we don't have, but it reminds me there's that thing about, you know, Indiana Jones and his first film. Oh, no. And the Lost Ark, yeah. Yeah, the first film where he finds the Ark and then it gets into the hands of the Nazis. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know that film?
00:03:41
Speaker
Yeah, right. There's this thing which says if Indiana Jones never got involved in the whole plot, it would have still resolved itself in the same way. Right. Right. Right. He hadn't his interventions had zero effect on the actual outcomes of the whole film at the pub. Exactly. You
00:04:07
Speaker
couple of times in Indiana Jones, right? Both thought we should have just sat on the couch at home or in the pub and had a beer. Yeah. And it would have been the same outcome. All right. And with that bombshell, welcome to ADHDville.
00:04:52
Speaker
That's a Roman word, mini house. Anyway. Hello, I'm Paul Thompson. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD 56 years ago. After wondering, after all that time, whether the squirrel was actually my doppelganger in a cunning disguise. Oh, wow. The squirrel that I was always distracted by.
00:05:13
Speaker
Oh I get it, I'm there, it's a bit early in the morning. And I'm Marty Weston, I was diagnosed with ADHD ten years ago, nothing funny to adult. So which is two mates or some would say chums, who by coincidence are not, after 39 years of friendship, discovered that with code, the HD is? Hooray!
00:05:39
Speaker
Hooray! It's really important to say this is an entertainment podcast about adult ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice for qualified health professionals. No, no, no. Please do not take any advice from us. What are you doing? We're just here as a kind of all-inclusive
00:05:59
Speaker
right well all inclusive it's a bit of a stretch isn't it but anyway ADHD park beds with room for everyone included your doppelgangers your egos your body doubles and your chaperones chaperones
00:06:13
Speaker
Still here, the grab your thermos flask, let's take you to ADHDville, an imaginary town that we've created in our minds, where we like to explore different parts of ADHD.
Welcome to ADHDville
00:06:23
Speaker
And we start off as always here at the Town Hall in the Mayor's Office, where we, the joint mayors of ADHDville, take care of business.
00:06:37
Speaker
And, uh, I think we can kind of quickly go on to, uh, our first meeting agenda item, which was how was your week? How was our weeks? Good, bad. Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. Oh, it's fine. Fine to middly. Go on. Go on.
00:07:01
Speaker
Oh, right. You know, like, if you're just kind of like going, I think, OK, why? Well, perhaps you need a few minutes to think so. No, no. I was born prepared. Oh, right. Wing it Thompson in in in action.
00:07:21
Speaker
Yeah well well it's not much really I'll just keep it short sweet yeah I I just like struggling I was diagnosed when was it now two months ago and just like as fresh as you know and um and tightly packed already still and um yeah being
00:07:41
Speaker
the moment I think I think it's just like the whole I'm still in that in that phase where it's like you know everything's being like thrown up into the air you know it's like watching everything like like drop down around me it's like oh god you know and yeah it's a bit it's a lot it's a lot it's a lot
00:08:03
Speaker
And to the point where I think if I hadn't already had like some time with a shrink in the past, you know, I think I would have struggled, but I think I know myself pretty well.
00:08:16
Speaker
But still I'm thinking, oh, maybe get an ADHD coach. Maybe not. Hmm. Not so sure. Don't know. Hey mate, this, this podcast is your ADHD host, host, host, host, coach, coach. Yeah. That's not what I'm looking for. But yes, if you feel you need one, go and get one. Find one. But then, then it's finding the right one. Oh God. You know, right.
00:08:45
Speaker
Well, yeah. And I can't do it in Italian. No way. I can't do shrieks in Italian. I tried for a year. All right. Well, you can still do that kind of stuff online, right? Over Zoom.
00:09:00
Speaker
Yeah, they're all there. How about you, Martin?
Martin's Weekly Struggles
00:09:05
Speaker
Thanks for asking, mate. It's been a mixed bag. I did send a large check off to the accountant yesterday to finish off my tax returns. So that's good.
00:09:27
Speaker
And I've paid off some other bills yesterday. So so that was a good one. That was in the good category. And then in the in the bad category, I'm still you know, my mom's got all kinds of health problems. So that's throwing up some family stuff. And and so, you know, when things like that happen, it kind of throws everything out because now my brain is thinking about
00:09:58
Speaker
other things and I'm kind of slightly more obsessing on that. So things like trying to get other stuff, trying to put a structure in my day is hard because I'm not, I'm finding it quite difficult to concentrate.
00:10:23
Speaker
Yeah, okay. Yeah. I'm probably a bit like you. I'm just really distracted at the moment. And my girlfriend is starting to feel it. It's like, ugh.
Paul's ADHD Adjustment
00:10:34
Speaker
It's like, hello Paul, are you still there? You know? In your own head.
00:10:43
Speaker
I know it's that thing of being present, right, is trying to remain present in the moment and not kind of like
00:10:55
Speaker
You know, just running over conversations and you're kind of stuck in your own head. And then from the outside, it just, it looks like you're just staring. Well, yeah.
00:11:12
Speaker
But I'm still at the phase where it's like, you know, I'm still like, well, the word shock comes to mind. And then I thought, Oh, is that the right word? But yeah, it is actually in sentiment of that. And so try to like, communicate to my girlfriend's like, because it's not, it's not a given that she should understand why I'm so, you know, overwhelmed by it.
00:11:38
Speaker
So try not be trying to, you know, be communicative, like get a, give her an idea of why I'm kind of so distracted at the moment. Right. Yeah, communication is key.
00:11:59
Speaker
All right. So what have we got? Oh, the other business, we've got the other red down. So yeah, so we've moved all the other stuff to the end. And this is point number two is where are we going today? Well, we're not going to the tailors because because I don't have any music for tailors.
00:12:23
Speaker
See, it's a quite a silent piece of, it's, yeah, threading your needle is quite silent. They don't really make noise, do they? Stalers. Right.
Exploring Procrastination
00:12:33
Speaker
Unless there are. So, uh, so, uh, I had the, the park. Oh, okay. Nice day out and the park bench. This is, I've got the right. Yeah.
00:12:46
Speaker
I can do tailors. It's just I have to spend a couple of hours writing music for the play. So what comes to mind is the music from, what was that series in the 70s with the department store? Oh, it was. Are you being served? Are you being served? Yeah.
00:13:09
Speaker
which was also played over here in the States, yeah, in the 80s.
00:13:20
Speaker
So some of our older American... It was a bit of a... Apparently, I think they probably had the first openly gay character in a British BBC series sitcom.
00:13:42
Speaker
Good for them. There you go, there you go. So the pop bench then, let's go to the pop bench. All right, well, let's jump in our mare's car, which has been tuned up and sounds amazing. And let's go.
00:14:13
Speaker
Okay, so we've got to talk about today's subject is procrastination, which seems at the top of the podcast, we're talking about tax returns. It's quite hard to read. It seems to be the easiest podcast theme we could possibly do. It's like, it's so easy to write this one. So easy.
00:14:41
Speaker
All right, so let's just start by just explaining what we mean by procrastination first. I think most people do get it. It's that thing of putting something off or delaying starting something, you know, and that becomes a problem when it's something that is important, has to be done.
00:15:06
Speaker
and you put it off until either you just don't do the thing or you wait till you hit the deadline mode and then you panic and then you get some dopes in your system and you rock it off and you do it in like record time. So that's the basis of that one.
00:15:32
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, we talked about taxes before, but for me, it's like documentation in general. I used to see my filing system.
00:15:46
Speaker
Even if I do, sometimes maybe once a year, no, it's close to once every two years, I'll kind of limber myself up. It's as if like, it's two guys in a boxing wing and like, just before they're fighting, just like eyeing each other up and limbering. And I'm looking at my documents from the other corner to like, strange exercises and
00:16:08
Speaker
you know. And it could take weeks and I'll put it off and I'll put it off and I'll put it and finally I'll dedicate it usually leads about half a day to do it. But the weird thing is it unravels itself in about three to four months and it's just back to how it was again. Right? So just I don't know I think sometimes I think I get some comfort out of
00:16:32
Speaker
you know, leaving stuff to the last minute. Well, that's because I would, well, that's probably because that's your, you're so used to getting stuff done at the last minute, right? And that you know that you'll get it done.
00:16:57
Speaker
and that's your happy place because you'll get into because Dopa means like rushing into your system and you're like oh man look at me go i'm doing the stuff now and you and you finish it in time right because i know you you you don't like you know you don't really pass a deadline
00:17:16
Speaker
Um, and you'll, and you'll get it done and you'll go, I feel like, you know, like you get a relief that it's got done and you think, brilliant. And you get like, it's a happy place. It is. But leading up to that point, it's like even as stupid as things like going online to look at my bank account, I get a knot in my stomach. Even if I know I've got cash in there, you know, and I'm okay. It's really hard. I feel a real mental block. Like I feel it physically.
00:17:47
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. No, I think, you know, yeah, I think this is a thing that most people can, especially if you've got ADHD, I think you can definitely relate to that. Right. Is that your brain knows it's important and it should do it.
00:18:06
Speaker
But it's like another part of your brain just goes, no, not doing it, not doing it. All the logic in the world says you should do it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I've got here as well in the list. I've got just one thing. Yeah, my documents look like it's like a roadkill exhibition. My documents.
00:18:28
Speaker
Yeah. It's not pretty. Right. It's right. You know what? I mean, because obviously I don't know me and who else you listen to this thinks of a gallery art exhibition is just like photographs of roadkill.
Humorous Document Chaos
00:18:45
Speaker
Yeah. And there's you. Paul Thompson, a photographer standing there without like a black bowl neck sweater and a glass of wine in the big thick glasses.
00:18:56
Speaker
Yeah. Trying to, trying to, is that, going after, probably going after that look of like not caring. Right. Aloofness. Yeah. I'm above your criticisms. Exactly. This is art. See that squirrel? Art.
00:19:14
Speaker
Exactly. But then I'm the same with a rider I've got here, like car repairs, we talked about this last week, car repairs, nightmare, Wi-Fi contracts, nightmare. During the pandemic, I was basically a clandestine
00:19:38
Speaker
immigrant in Palermo. I had no proper documents, none. Oh really? Really? You were an illegal immigrant? Practically, yeah. He's actually lost a couple of documents. Oh okay. So of course in, it's already complicated in Italy, but it's even more complicated in Palermo. You have to go like here at the court to get a certain document.
00:20:03
Speaker
And oh, God, so I didn't do it. All right. Yeah. Tell me something, Mr. Thompson, because I was talking to my wife the other day and it wasn't about you, but but you did pop up in it, which was like, you know, how you're saying you find like visual, visual things
00:20:32
Speaker
You know, like in instructions and doing forms and quite like your brain just rib the rebels. Yeah. Do you do you find that that's. I mean, you know, I find that my brain does the same thing, right? It just sees paperwork and it just doesn't want to know. It's like, yeah, it really struggles my total blog. Yeah.
00:21:02
Speaker
Right.
Reading Challenges and BVD
00:21:04
Speaker
And I'm also wondering whether, do you tend to read books slowly? I know that I do. I don't scan read. It is kind of like sentence by sentence. I read at conversation speed. Yes.
00:21:28
Speaker
And do you find that you sometimes like lose the end of the line? No, almost like I mean, if it kind of go, go back some, some time, therefore, if I'm into the book, therefore I'm getting the dopamine hit from it. I'm on it. Yeah, it's fine. If I'm struggling.
00:21:48
Speaker
with the book, then I've got less commitment to finish one line and, and navigate back to the next beginning of the next. Yeah. Right. Cause this thing came up, um, I know we kind of off topic here, but, uh, this thing called BVD.
00:22:14
Speaker
came up, which is apparently quite a lot of people with ADHD have also have BVD, which is binocular vision dis dysfunction, which is right. Yeah, literally this morning. I saw it for the first time. Oh, did you? Yeah.
00:22:36
Speaker
So it's something that where your eyes are slightly misaligned and and quite a lot or most opticians don't or can't detect it. It isn't a thing that you did detect and it means that
00:23:00
Speaker
things like reading instructions for IKEA stuff and things like that become quite difficult. And there are glasses that you can get. I think because I've seen it pop up on TikTok called Prism Lenses or something. And it has quite a dramatic difference.
00:23:29
Speaker
Um, interesting. Yeah. Well, cause apparently it's like, if you've, if you're ADHD, there's something like a 40% chance that you're on the spectrum for, um, kind of, uh, several other things. Right. Comorbidities. Comorbidities. There we go. That's the word I was struggling to get out.
00:23:55
Speaker
Oh yeah, no, it's ADHD is like an ice
ADHD and Related Conditions
00:24:01
Speaker
cream. Some people have chocolate chips. Some people have got like rather be ripples. It just comes in all kinds of different flavors. I read that yesterday evening, if you've got ADHD twice as much chance as having migraine headaches. Right. Which is also a thing of BBVD.
00:24:26
Speaker
Right. So people who have that also say they tend to experience migraines a lot. Because I used to have ocular migraines as well. There we go. I would think that that could be like worthy of going down a little bit of investigation. Interesting. Ocular migraines really weird things. Do you remember those things you used to have in the 70s? A gyroscope. Oh, sorry. A kaleidoscope.
00:24:55
Speaker
Yeah with the little kind of colored gels and little colitis, plastic crystals and things. That's what used to happen to my vision out of nowhere. I was once on the M25 driving back from Redland where we used to work together and I just had to pull over on the runway. No that would be Gatwick.
00:25:18
Speaker
uh i had to pull over anyway because i couldn't literally couldn't see my eyes were covered in this uh this weird effect well it's all gone freaking weird and then it passed um but yeah i might have to look into that yeah have a look have a look have a look with bvd see if that's something for you to be uh bvd
00:25:48
Speaker
Yeah, write that down. BVD, binocular, disorder. There we go. One more thing to scroll down on. I mean, so speaking of of percentages of people, which we were earlier, so I got here 20% of people consider themselves chronic
00:26:12
Speaker
procrastinators. And that's just across everyone, like across the, not just ADHD peeps. So there's quite a lot of it about, you know, and I find that I will procrastinate definitely on things that I
00:26:37
Speaker
don't want to do because there's no dopamine in it for me. I will also procrastinate on things that I have not really worked out or if it's a new thing
00:26:57
Speaker
So I will put something off because I'm not quite sure what is going to happen. So it could be a, you know, like a situation like, you know, I might put off phoning the the doctors for my annual annual annual medical because I don't because it's going to be I mean, what's it going to throw up? So well, I'll I'll just push that one down. Right.
00:27:25
Speaker
But then enters into the debate, the telephone. I have a phobia with telephones. I think it's quite common. Yeah, I do as well. I do not like phoning someone is my least preferred option.
00:27:54
Speaker
we used to work together at Redland mate and um at our desks and stuff um because you know Redland which are quite generous like that it gives us furniture and stuff anyway the um i used to hate it when the phone ran i used to literally um i don't know i it was really strong really really strong the only reason i got over it is because i knew i had to
00:28:19
Speaker
Right, so I did. Well, yeah, I hate I don't read a really if I'm on the phone to someone it's like for 30 seconds at most. Yeah, I'm I'm completely there with you 100% don't like phoning people. I've got a list here I've found about about phones.
00:28:44
Speaker
some reasons for having phone phobia uncertainty due to the lack of facial expressions and body language present in the face to face interactions. Therefore, okay, maybe merging a little bit there with object impermanence. They have been judged. Okay. Yeah, not having a plan. Pressure of responding quickly and being put on the spot. Yeah, active experiences.
00:29:12
Speaker
not knowing proper phone etiquette. Uh, okay. I think it applies a bit like
Phone Phobia and Social Anxiety
00:29:18
Speaker
me. I'm kind of like, um, hello. Yeah. We kind of like, we already agreed. We're going to meet up tonight. We just like stop now and exactly responsive, you know, after that, um, uh, there's got new, new neuro divergence, such as ADHD or autism, even if I think it spans most of these and social anxiety.
00:29:40
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Especially even after all these years, right. And you and I are old enough that texting someone has become is a relatively new thing. Right. So most of out for our adult life, it was using the phone.
00:30:12
Speaker
And even now, after all this time and phonage usage, it's the ending of the call. So there's the panic of like, oh, I've got to pick up the phone. And then you're like, yeah, there's that panic where you're like, what the hell is going on? Well, who is it? What is this?
00:30:31
Speaker
And then you can get into the phone call and then it's fine. But then it's the ending of how you end it. It still feels awkward. It still feels awkward to me.
00:30:42
Speaker
Yeah, I'm really shit at Zoom meetings as well. I once got a new job in Milan, and we're working on, we're working for a luxury car brand, and we had a Zoom meeting with another agency, strategy agency in the same group. There were about 12 of them at their end. There were about 10 of us at our end, all in Italian.
00:31:13
Speaker
And I was tired. I was, yeah. Couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. Could not do it. Apart from, you know, everyone was talking to each other over each other like they're doing in Italy. Then, you know, the language barrier. And then, you know, this, on that list that I just read out, you know, lack of facial expression or body language.
00:31:37
Speaker
If I can't pick that up, then I just can't stay, whether it's in English or Italian, you know? Yeah, I found that... Yeah, so for the last couple of years, almost all through COVID, I've had to have had at least one or two Zoom conferences every day.
00:32:06
Speaker
where I was presenting or were dealing with work or stuff. So I think my Zoom game, pretty good, but at least it is all in English. Yeah, yeah. Talking of which, I'm thinking of, no, I'm not thinking of, I've signed up to learn conversation, learning to teach conversation English online starts in February. Yeah, with the British Council.
00:32:35
Speaker
Oh, right. Really, really cool thing. Of course, which I'm already like, Oh God, I'm not usually very good at that, but I've got, I've got to be, I've got to get good at it. It's a challenge. So keep you up to date with that.
00:32:49
Speaker
All right. Cool. All right. I think I'm just like looking at the clock.
Emotions and Acceptance in Procrastination
00:32:57
Speaker
So I kind of like feel like I can bring it round back to procrastination. And just, you know, because we all know what it is and I think what the danger is
00:33:15
Speaker
is that you can procrastinate something you know like my taxes for example and then that makes you feel bad right because it's like oh it's so simple I should have just done it earlier why didn't I do that and now I feel crap
00:33:29
Speaker
And after like years of that, it can just turn into an anxiety, it can turn into a depression, right? So, you know, and it can spiral down, you know, feel shame. So we want to avoid that. That's right. It also, it comes to mind also, I think there's also at our age,
00:33:55
Speaker
It's really funny we're talking this language now. At our age, it's also okay to build up a level of acceptance in your life. I know I'll never be good at this stuff. Be okay with being okay with being shit at it.
00:34:12
Speaker
You know, it's like, let it go. You know what? It's all the time. Um, you know, I'm, I'm, you know, still, you know, kicking about. I'm going to be like that. That's how I'm going to be. Right now. Yeah.
00:34:30
Speaker
you've hit the nail on the head, which is one, if you're aware of it, right? Like, this is who I am. This is how I work. So that's the first thing. And then self, self, just just just being nice to yourself, right? A bit of self forgiveness, right? As you say, it's like, you know, like, yeah, this is who I am. It's okay. Don't give yourself a hard time.
00:35:00
Speaker
You know, you can find ways to kind of get over that procrastination hump. There's plenty of hints and tips online to kind of help you get started on something. So for example, I know we've talked about it before, but
00:35:17
Speaker
In order for me to do taxes like you, I need to give myself five hours to do a one hour task. So it should only take an hour, but I'll say it's going to take me like most of the day. And included in it is I've got to clear my desk and I've got to like make myself a cup of tea and everything has to be perfect. And then I'll start.
Strategies Against Procrastination
00:35:42
Speaker
You know, so there's, I think everyone has kind of ways that they ease themselves into doing something that they don't want to do. The way I do it, my go to is to is to clear the bed and literally have like, start with about 14, 15, 16 categories and have a pile on each category, and then break it down a bit after that. Right. It works for me.
00:36:13
Speaker
I need the space to spread. That's what I'm trying to see. All right. Well, let's finish up on that. Okay. So it just remains for me.
00:36:26
Speaker
or for us rather dance our way out of the podcast stage left. And say, thanks for being here. Check out any show notes for any random links that we may put in there. Visit us on the YouTubers, the cupboard of friends, known as Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself. Ciao, ciao, ciao.