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Talk Sauce #86 - Grand Theft Skateboard
10 Plays2 years ago
The boys are back again!
Jack makes up excuses on why he didn't post a podcast that had already been recorded for over a month. Bo chills.
Follow Talk Sauce on Instagram: @talksauce.podcast
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Transcript
Reintroduction and Dallas Renegades
00:00:19
Speaker
Hey everybody, we're back. What's going on, guys? It's the podcast. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we do that, what are the Dallas Renegades?
00:00:30
Speaker
Dude, they're the XFL team. I'm reading the XFL team. You've been watching XFL football. Not really. Every once in a while I have been watching it, but the reason why I have this hat. So first of all, I went with my family. There was a game. This was just before COVID when the XFL like originally reopened. They ended up closing for a bit afterwards, but
00:00:53
Speaker
we went to a game and it was like twenty bucks for tickets and we went and it was like super fun they're actually fifteen thousand people there something whoa and then where do they plan time.
00:01:03
Speaker
I was on the way back to Dallas and we drove by this gas station and went in and we saw they had a bunch of these hats for six bucks each. That's a good deal. Yeah, I bought three of them. Hard to pass that up. And left them at my parents' house and then I forgot about it and I was at my parents' house and I was like, oh dude, I'm taking that back. It's a sweet hat. But they've since rebranded to the Arlington Renegades.
00:01:30
Speaker
Oh, so they play like in Arlington. They're actually in the XFL Championship. Whoa. OK, way to go. Let's go. Renegades, dude. What what does a renegade mean to you? What does it mean to be a renegade?
00:01:45
Speaker
Um, I think it's like individual rule breaker, Titan of industry. I don't know. Just your regular Titan of energy and industry. I do like Titan of energy though, as like a football mascot.
00:02:07
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I'm like super confused right now. That was messaging me something. Okay, we're back. We're on the same page. And let me tell you, the page is good. Oh yeah, it's one of my favorite pages. It might as well be page 69. Yeah, and I'd read it again and again. Oh dude, I'm reading it in my head. Oh man.
Podcast Schedule Challenges
00:02:34
Speaker
Wow, that was a shaky start, but I think we're back on track. No, no, it's all part of the plan. Renegade, Titan of Industry, XFL. I think that was like all of our major talking points that we wanted to cover for the day. Yeah, more or less. Yeah. Dude, so how you been? We have talked a bit, but we haven't done a podcast in like a month or something. Yeah, it's been a while. We did the two with Emily.
00:03:02
Speaker
And then we did both of those a month ago, but I think we dropped a second one last week. Dude, it's actually been over a month. Whoa. Because the first Emily podcast came out on the 27th of March. Wow, shit. And then we dropped the second one last week. Yeah, they were a month apart. That's what we recorded them on the same day. The people were probably really wanting the sauce. That was my fault. I take full responsibility.
00:03:30
Speaker
Well, you were traveling and all that. It makes sense. It's cool. It's allowed. We have abandoned regularly scheduled podcasting. Yeah, we're semi-regular. Sometimes we're regular, other times we're not. It's just basically now.
00:03:47
Speaker
we podcast when our weeks line up. It's like, all right, we both can do it this day, we're gonna podcast. And the thing is, I know we're depriving the listeners of that sweet, sweet sauce that they so desire, but I think sometimes it makes it more fun because it's like, I get super excited to do it whenever we haven't done one in a long time.
Ski Trip and Birthday Gift
00:04:07
Speaker
You and I just also just wanna catch up. A lot of times we'll start talking about shit and we're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:04:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's like sometimes tricky like calling you because I'm like, well, let's just have this conversation. How are we going to dance around this? So the weather is pretty easy. That's every phone call between Jack and I. How are the kids? Yeah. We both have like full families that we've invented. Just to have something to talk about. That's friendship right there. Yeah, baby. That's some real fucking friendship.
00:04:43
Speaker
Yeah, so the reason why For the listeners why I wasn't able to release it. So a few things First of all, I went on a ski trip. I was with the boys. It was sick, dude Yeah, it was it was so much fun man. We went Copper Mountain and we did so we skied for four days, but we were there for five days took that day off in the middle and
00:05:08
Speaker
Yeah, we took a day. We actually did three days on one day off and then the last day just due to like how the weather was.
00:05:16
Speaker
But it was, it was awesome, dude. Like our first day, it was pretty cold and there was a decent amount of snow. And then after that, like one day I was in like the fifties. It was sick dude. On the last day I snowboarded shirtless. There's a video. Imagine if you fell how much Oh my God. I was saying I was going to do it like the whole time.
00:05:41
Speaker
Yeah, and I was like I got to it was on our very one too many times. Yeah The boy who cried nipple. Yeah The weather was just so nice. I was like dude I might just take my shirt off and then I started seeing other people with their shirts off and I was like, oh no They heard you do it. None of them were yeah about it. And then they heard you do it. Let's steal this thunder
00:06:02
Speaker
Um, but yeah, the weather was perfect. Nobody really like injured themselves, which is always sick. Um, you know what we did, which was sweet was so on the, we had a bunch of these. Have you seen that fireball? That's like not real fireball.
00:06:18
Speaker
What? I don't know. I don't know if this is a thing that you would see in New York since like anywhere can sell liquor or it's they sell it like corner stores. Right. New York. Yeah. Fireball. But not like fireball is the only liquor I've ever seen because I think it's I isn't fireball like 30 percent.
00:06:35
Speaker
So here's the thing, you may have actually been bamboozled by this as well. I don't know if you regularly drink fireball. I basically only drink it if I'm skiing. Yeah. I feel like that's the only socially acceptable time. That or if you're like tailgating or like, it's like something where it's just like, you need to get fucked up quick.
00:06:55
Speaker
Yeah, if you're like you have to do a chest bump like right after right for sure sometimes I'll like roll up to like a Party or something and I'll go into a bodega and I'll get like five of the shooters of fireball. Just to watch people Just launch them all in the search guys I got you something and then I'll hand everyone fireball and they're like fuck because you have to do it when you get free boot. Yeah So
00:07:22
Speaker
Anyway, there's basically two different types of fireball. There's one which is like the one that we know and love goes back to college, early college days, you know, drinking fireball was like new.
00:07:37
Speaker
I feel like it's always been a thing since I've been. Like when we were in college, I never heard of college. Yeah, yeah, I don't think I did either. I used to love it, dude. It was like the best. Whenever you taste alcohol and you're like this, you can drink this. It doesn't taste terrible. It was so exciting. Yeah. But it doesn't taste terrible, I think. Oh, it's disgusting. We've also probably gotten too drunk on it too many times back in the day.
00:08:04
Speaker
But anyway, so they started, they sell that one, but then they started selling this other one, which is like technically malt liquor, I think that's only like 16%, but they can sell it at like any gas station. So you'll see it at gas stations in Texas. And I was always like, how are they selling this? And then you look at it and it's like 16% or 15% or something. And so I think they actually got sued for it.
00:08:27
Speaker
But anyway, I'm pretty sure a lot of people are buying it thinking that it's regular fireball. But so Joe had bought some and we had like all this. So we're drinking it and whatever. But then on our third day, we were like, dude, we should try and bury it and see if we can.
00:08:46
Speaker
Dig it up. That's so awesome. It was on Friday and then Sunday was Easter and we would be like, it'll be like an Easter egg hunt.
00:09:03
Speaker
we found a spot it was like by one of the the signs that like denotes which run you're going down yeah by this tree right next to it and then we got this like like big leaf thing and like stuck it in the ground next to it yeah yeah and we found it we're all like you found it yeah we found it on gold oh yeah baby
00:09:26
Speaker
It was ice cold. And then we were like, dude, we got to do this every time. That is so awesome. It was so funny because we were like, we kind of got it towards the end of the day and like the whole day, we're like, man, we got to go find that. It was something to look forward to. It was hilarious. Which idea was it to bury it?
00:09:46
Speaker
I don't remember specifically. I feel like it seems like a you kind of point. It was, I might've been the one to first suggest it, but I don't remember for sure. So I don't, I imagine it does sound like something. But that definitely seems like an idea that you would have.
00:10:04
Speaker
Yeah, it was probably my idea initially, but yeah, I mean, I was I was super into it, but we were dude, we were fucking dying. I get the whole idea of it was hilarious. What would have been funny is if you guys didn't find it and then like as the snow melted and copper. Yeah. Like five fireballs. But yeah, then we were talking to me like, dude, we got to start burying beers just like on random runs and like coming back and getting them.
00:10:31
Speaker
It's kind of genius. You go up at the beginning of the day with like a heavy backpack. Yeah. And then just like kind of plant them so you can go back to them. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I want to. Then we were we were just talking about we were like, why don't you do like an Easter icon on the mountain for adults with alcohol just hidden everywhere. It was funny. Just the fact that it was Easter.
Pizza Oven Adventures
00:10:55
Speaker
Yeah, that was smart to wait till Easter to dig it up.
00:10:59
Speaker
Yeah, it was it was hilarious. But yeah, that was it was just an awesome trip overall. Yeah, it was you, Kelly, Luke and Joe, right? Yeah. And then Joe's girlfriend came down for a couple of days. Nice, nice. So the ratio was a little better for a couple of days. Yeah, exactly. Nicely. That's what we told him. We were like, hey, you should bring like the ratio, man.
00:11:35
Speaker
But yeah, it was awesome and then so after that the ski trip I went home and Then it was my dad's 60th birth. So I got home on Monday and it was my dad's 60th birthday on Friday so then on Thursday
00:11:52
Speaker
So I had to work like Tuesday, Wednesday, I had to work actually the rest of the week, but on Thursday I went to my parents' house for my dad's birthday and we got him this, did I tell you about the pizza oven? You guys all went in on a pizza oven for yourself? Yeah, dude, it was, let me show you what, it was called an uni pizza oven. No, that sounds cool though. Oh, oh, and I, let me. Here, I'll Google it. Yeah, and it's like the gas powered one. Here, I'll send you a link, I have it right here.
00:12:22
Speaker
Oh, that looks legit as fuck. Dude, we made pizza in it and it is so good. I'm sure it is. The pizza in it is unreal. We have a whole setup for it now. My mom got a table for it and then we have the different devices and shit that you use. Devices, what do you mean devices?
00:12:45
Speaker
I guess devices might not be the right word but like a it's called a peel so it's like the big thing that you put the pizza on and then like slide it and then there's this other one that you use like turn the pizza is the way that it works is it like it's only hot on the left in the back so you have to like turn the pizza
00:13:02
Speaker
So it cooks in like a minute and a half. It's insane. So you kind of got to be on top of it for that minute and a half. It's like, yeah, you have to eyes on it at all times. But dude, the pizza on it was unreal. Like we are. It is. Yeah, dude. The very first one, though, I like the first one we didn't like the dough wasn't I hadn't put enough.
00:13:28
Speaker
flour, I think it is on the dough. So it was really sticky. So the pizza just like crumbled into a ball in the oven. And then the second one I put plenty of flour and I was scraping the oven, like was scraping the oven. And then I actually like dropped the pizza on the ground. So it was a rough start, but we still cooked and ate the ground pizza and it was delicious. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And I feel like it's one of those things, like you're just going to keep getting better at making pizza.
00:13:56
Speaker
Yeah, so we ate pizza like I think two days in a row. What were you guys? Were you guys getting wild with the types of pizza you were making or were you sticking to the base? Yeah, we were basically, dude, you know what? So we basically made like any type of just whatever we had, we put on a pizza basically like mashed potatoes, Cheerios, fucking Skittles.
00:14:19
Speaker
You know like I was gonna say initially like I could see a world where there is a pizza with mashed potatoes on it That's not too bad. You know You know what you guys should do on Thanksgiving make a Thanksgiving leftover pizza instead
00:14:34
Speaker
Like the bass is like gravy and then you like dollop all like turkey fucking dude you're speaking my language You know we did make those George's girlfriend came up with the idea of doing dessert pizza
00:14:51
Speaker
Oh, you know, like that Cece's like Apple, like, Oh, do I know? Oh, we made that. And it was like the best thing I've ever had. It was so fucking good, dude, because it was literally the exact same flavor. Almost. It was we put, I guess it was like cinnamon and sugar, a mixture and something that was like crumbly. I don't know what it was. And then we cut like really thinly sized apples.
00:15:17
Speaker
and put it on there. And I think she put like caramel or something. I don't know. It was like this. She made this mix, but it was dude. It was so good. That sounds so good. And then they did like a blueberry one too. And then put like a little vanilla ice cream on top or something. Then they apparently tried to do a.
00:15:33
Speaker
a s'mores limb but it caught on fire. I think the marshmallows you had like out of the end or something would have been better. Yeah, you weren't around for that one. But dude, we were just, we were, I ate so much pizza. It was like unreal. And it was just out where you like, Oh my God. Pizza for a while. Well, whenever they were eating the s'mores pizza, I was like, Oh, but no, ever since like, I want to go back and eat more. I'm going back for mother's day. And I don't, I think I'm going to not eat anything except for pizza.
00:16:03
Speaker
Yeah, you should have a day where you make a breakfast pizza a lunch pizza and dinner pizza. Absolutely What do you put on a breakfast pizza? What's your what's your breakfast pizza? Well, I would do like I wouldn't do like a red sauce base I'd probably do like a white pizza like an olive oil type situation. Mmm and then like I'd crack a couple eggs like four eggs like
00:16:26
Speaker
in it, maybe six. I wouldn't go over six, though. I think you could do too much. Then I'd go like bacon sausage bits, and then I'd sprinkle like... So you're... You would like... Would you like scramble the egg and then put the egg? No, just crack it on and just like... Right on the Zaw, dude? Yeah. And then when you cut it, like the yolk gets running, you kind of dip it in the yolk. Putting an egg on the pizza is actually kind of a next level idea. You've never seen that before?
00:16:55
Speaker
I don't think so. It's a thing. It's good. Egg on. It's good. It's very good. What if, like in a pizza? Oh shit. Dude, that looks fire. Yeah, dude. Eggs and bacon breakfast pizza. Yeah, I'd maybe throw some sausage crumble on that bitch too. You know what else I would do now that we're kind of here?
00:17:16
Speaker
I would buy frozen shredded hash browns and sprinkle those on top a little bit. Dude, you're a visionary, dude. I feel like lunch pizza is the trickiest one. It's just pizza, right? No, it'd have to be different. Different than dinner pizza? Yeah, because dinner pizza is just pizza. What are lunch foods? Like sandwiches? Yeah, you just make a sandwich. What's a typical sandwich? What's your favorite sandwich?
00:17:45
Speaker
I don't know. The sandwich I probably eat the most is like a turkey sandwich of some sort. Turkey. Yeah. I feel like that's the standard like lunchtime, just classic meal. What about a BLT? You could make a BLT pizza. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Now I'm with you on that. So again, I don't know, man. I guess you probably don't want to go like a marinara base on a BLT pizza, right? That's the question is what's the base?
00:18:14
Speaker
For lunch pizzas, probably. Yeah, olive oil's already been done at breakfast, so it's like, fudge. What do we do, man? You could just do mayonnaise. Make like an aioli, like a mayo mustard. Oh, that's a good idea. A garlic aioli. Yeah, I bet that chick gets gross in the oven.
00:18:42
Speaker
probably don't want to cook mayonnaise at like 700 degrees no you'd have to like buy i don't know that would be a tough one but lunch we'll think on lunch and dinner just whatever you would normally do for like regular pizza
00:18:58
Speaker
you have to do three different we'll talk I'm legit I'm gonna make this eggs and bacon pizza yeah you should I'll let you I'll report back in a couple weeks yeah a few pods from now that can be our primary talking point breakfast pizza um so one thing we definitely need to get to while we are on is
00:19:18
Speaker
the story of your grand theft skateboard. Oh, yeah, I was going to bring this up because it kind of falls next in line in the story of why I wasn't. This is all just a drawn out excuse of why I wasn't able to post the podcast. It's all fabricated. This is the apology to her. Yeah, let me pull
Sickness and Stolen Skateboards
00:19:38
Speaker
this up just so I have like the context. So basically what happened was I got home and I started getting like
00:19:46
Speaker
or when I was on my way home, I had started getting like allergies and felt kind of crappy. And after after like I was like basically sick. So I get home Sunday from my parents house and I
00:20:03
Speaker
grab a bunch of stuff like go inside and Monday I like I worked but I like didn't leave the house at all I just felt like terrible and then Tuesday I was picking Alex up from the airport still feeling sick and I noticed that my door was like cracked open to my car okay and I was like did I leave my door like there's no way I left my door open and I guess I guess I see door
00:20:30
Speaker
No, it was the back left. Yeah, so the one behind the driver. But then I was like, OK, I guess I just left it open. And then I got in, and I just bought this thing that allowed me to do wireless Android Auto, which is like CarPlay.
00:20:46
Speaker
Um, and it wasn't in like my glove box and I was like, Oh fuck, did like someone steal it? And then I thought about it. I was like, Oh no, I had two skateboards, mine and Kelly's in my car. I don't know if, um, I don't know if they're in there. Like I was already driving and then turns out they weren't. And I was like, great. So someone had stolen two skateboards and Kelly's skateboard too. Yeah. One of them was Kelly's. Sorry, Kelly. Um,
00:21:15
Speaker
Luckily Kelly already has another skateboard though. So so that was like his backup board
00:21:20
Speaker
Yeah, he had like already gotten a new one, thankfully. So it wasn't like a huge loss for him, thankfully. But I mean, it still like sucks. Yeah, you don't like they were nice. And so I'm just like, fuck, like bummed and checking Facebook marketplace every once in a while. And literally two days later, I see my exact skateboard.
00:21:46
Speaker
on Facebook Marketplace. How far was it from you? What was the distance? It was really close. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? No way. This is actually on Facebook Marketplace. That's bananas, dude. First of all, I'm in my office at the time. So I'm like, what should I do? I don't know what to do. And everyone was like, you should message him. So I was like, OK. So I sent, I don't know if you've seen it on Facebook Marketplace. There's that default.
00:22:14
Speaker
Is this okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So so I sent that are you pulling up the messages right now? Yeah, and I'm just gonna like read. Yeah Basically, so I said is this still available? He said yeah, let me know if you want to come grab it and then I said I'm working now might be free after what part of town are you in and then he told me nearby and
00:22:39
Speaker
He said, and then I didn't respond because I was actually like going and playing the pitch and putt with my coworkers. And then he said, what time are you thinking? And then with my coworkers, I was like, I was like, what should I say to this guy? Like I kind of want to just like tell him, I know what's up basically. So.
00:22:56
Speaker
So I said, hey, I know this was stolen from my car and I have video from my complex, which I didn't. Good bluff, good bluff. And then I said, can I just have my stuff back without having any more issues?
00:23:11
Speaker
He says, I found this at the skate park, my guy. I'm sorry to hear that for real. And then I said- Let you see through on it for real though. Yeah. And then I said, you know that emoji that's like the smiley face going like the thunking face? Yeah, I said him that. And then I said, can I have it back? And then send him a picture of the skateboard to like show him that I knew it was like actually mine. Oh, nice. So you had like a photo of your board.
00:23:39
Speaker
I had a photo from like right when I got it. It was a lot more beat up in the picture that he took. But then he said, I mean, are you fucking with me right now? And then I guess he saw the picture and he's like, oh, damn, well, I'm honestly very sorry to hear that. And then I asked, I was like, did you just find one board? There were two taken and then.
00:23:58
Speaker
He said, I mean, I don't mind handing you the board, but what else would have been taken with it? I only found one board at the park. The other one could have got snagged before me or not ever left. This one is pretty beat up as the other one. So I.
00:24:14
Speaker
I think he's just trying not to incriminate myself. I'm like certain that this dude stole the shit because I think that's the safest. If you look at his Facebook marketplace page, he has all kinds of random shit, like not just like skateboards. No, he has like golf clubs. He has tools like just shit that you would steal out of cars. Like this dude's definitely if I can just go around stealing shit out of cars.
00:24:36
Speaker
And then he was basically asking if anything else was taken. I like told him and then he said, OK, I just don't want to be involved with something that's too extreme. You know, and I was like, I was like, what do you mean? Like, I just want my stuff back. And then he said, I'll make sure you get your board homey. But if you told me like thousands of dollars of shit was stolen, I probably would have had to just ditch the board and this combo, just saying I don't need to get in deep over something I didn't do.
00:25:07
Speaker
And then he was like he said my boards at the hotel right now I'm out and about and then he said my stuff your board star but Then I like didn't reply because I was like I
00:25:26
Speaker
What the fuck do I say to this guy? I don't want to meet up with this guy, because first of all, he knows where I live and what car I drive. I don't want him to come and fuck up my car or something. And it's not super insignificant, but it's not a huge amount of value. It's not like a laptop or something. Yeah, it's not like I'm not going to financially recover from it or something.
The Stolen Skateboard Saga
00:25:47
Speaker
but then he says he responds and he goes like after I hadn't responded for a while he goes you making this shit up and I said no dude I sent you a picture of the board and then I just said if you leave it outside your hotel I can grab it because I was like the only way I'm grabbing this is if I like don't actually have to meet up with this guy yeah you don't know who you're getting involved with
00:26:07
Speaker
I know I'm getting involved with the sketchy motherfucker who robs cars. It's not worth, yeah, trap. But it was a bummer because I'm like, dude, I know where it is and who has it. But I ended up filing a police report and posting all the shit.
00:26:24
Speaker
So maybe they can get it back for you. I doubt it. They probably won't. Don't do shit. No. No way. They like go like CSI mode. When I was a little kid, my bike got stolen and we filed a police report and- Did you get it back?
00:26:39
Speaker
They found it in the lake. It was fucked up. Some people just wrote it for a little bit and like ditched it in the lake. Yeah, this guy since removed the skateboard off Facebook Marketplace, so I'm sure he's like. That's pretty incriminating. I'm surprised he didn't block me, though. Yeah, that's weird, man. That stinks, dude. Are you getting a new board? Yeah, I'm going to. Next time I like go skate, I'm going to I'm going to get one. Just pop in and get one on the way. What? How do you think you got in your car?
00:27:09
Speaker
I think, so I'm pretty sure what happened was I grabbed all my stuff. I was carrying a bunch of stuff, and I guess I just forgot to lock my car. That's the only thing. Or you had some way to pick the lock or something. But I think it's, I'm usually pretty good at locking it, but I was carrying a bunch of different bags and stuff, so I might have forgot. Do you think, do you have one of the locks where you press the button and it locks it from a distance? Yeah. Do you think there's a device that exists that can block that?
00:27:37
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. But what's crazy is I have my golf clubs in the car and he didn't steal my golf clubs. Yeah, which that probably is more expensive, I feel like. Right. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like that's that's where I would have to like try and meet up. Yeah. I mean, that stinks that you're shit got stolen, but like glass half full. Kelly had just gotten a new board, so that wasn't his primary skateboard.
00:28:04
Speaker
You could have had like golf. Yeah. No, I mean, it's not like that. It sucks, but it's not like that big of a deal. Yeah. Like I'm not like super broken up over it or anything. I think the first time you told me about it, you were laughing. So I just found it on Facebook Marketplace and I was like, dude, can you believe this?
00:28:25
Speaker
So I was saying you found it. It was literally like this guy is the dumbest criminal ever. I wanted to show you like the kind of stuff this guy has on his Facebook marketplace. And I told you who was mutual friends on. Yes, but I can't remember who. I'll message it to you. I don't want to say it. Yeah, that's fair.
00:28:43
Speaker
Yes. It adds up. Oh, dude, there is something I was actually, I'll save it for the next episode. Do you have time to do one more? Yeah. Yeah. I've got time. All right. Do you want to wrap this one up then? Yeah. All right. This was the podcast for TalkSauce. Buy TalkSauce. TalkSauce.
00:29:09
Speaker
Tuck sauce. Quo and Jack are just a couple dudes. Recap in line. Tuck sauce. Tuck sauce. Tuck sauce? Tuck sauce?