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00:00:01
Talk Sauce #93 - Female Willy Wonka
10 Plays1 year ago
The boys are back in action after a hiatus.
Recommended
Transcript
Misunderstood Gestures and Toasts
00:00:08
Speaker
I like how you understood that gesture.
00:00:21
Speaker
What was the gesture? I don't think I even saw that I toasted. You said, shall we get started? I just toasted my water and then you hit record.
Great Gatsby Jokes and Android Critiques
00:00:29
Speaker
Is sick. You looked like the great Gatsby, dude. We're wearing sunglasses right now. Yeah, you can't see, but we look sick as hell. Yeah, we'll put a picture here. Let me take a picture of us. Yes, screenshot that shit real quick.
00:00:41
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I forgot about screenshots. Fucking Android Ass was going to take a picture of his computer screen with his phone. Wait, what is it? Windows Shift S? Command Shift 4, dude, that's so dumb. Fucking Google Ass, Android Ass. Windows. Windows Shift S. Hold up, hold up. All right, do something cool.
00:01:08
Speaker
Did you get it? Yeah, hold up. I flipped off the camera. I told you I had to get an Android for work, right? Yeah, you did. Check it out, dude. It's so dumb. Look at this stupid phone.
00:01:24
Speaker
It's got it like records your It has the same thing where it's like fingerprint ID or whatever, but it's on the back of my phone Oh, I have one of those like years ago. I feel like that's kind of dated. I think this is an older phone I only have it for wait. Hold on. Can I tell you some real quick? Yeah
00:01:44
Speaker
I work for a company that has an app, so whenever we're about to launch new models of the app, we do testing on Android.
Podcast Identity and Excitement
00:01:57
Speaker
Before we get too far into it, we got to say, even though it's been a while, it's still the podcast for TalkSauce.
00:02:04
Speaker
By talk sauce. I'm glad we could have held off on that. Yes, don't forget it, dude. Let's not open up with it because then the people are going to think, oh, they're rusty. They forgot. Yeah, but no, we're not rusty. We were born for this shit. I'm so fucking ready. Don't forget.
Weekend Recording and Chicago Plans
00:02:20
Speaker
Dude, what else is crazy is it's Saturday. I know we're doing a weekend pod. Yeah, it's pretty awesome, actually. Alex is in Chicago right now. What's she doing in Chicago?
00:02:34
Speaker
Jack's mad because I took on sunglasses. I'll tell you if you put the sunglasses back on. She's uh, she's visiting a friend. Not worth it. It's pretty dark.
America's Political and Economic Landscape
00:02:52
Speaker
What are our things in Austin? It's been two and a half months since we recorded. We have a lot to catch up on. Yeah, multiple wars, economic peril. It's really like kind of bad that we haven't been potting because this is like ripe for communist America. We have an election. Keep our listeners up to date on current.
00:03:17
Speaker
important world topics. Yeah, and how they relate to the future dystopic America. I've had many listeners call in trying to get our feedback on geopolitical issues and they've been really upset about the past few months for us.
Post-Strike Podcast Resumption
00:03:33
Speaker
All I'll say is
00:03:38
Speaker
The plan, this is according to it. Yeah, it is. I don't think we can say anything else.
00:03:53
Speaker
But the strike is over. So that's why we're potting again. We had like the Drew Barrymore situation going on. People were not happy. People start calling us scabs. We're like, you can't be a scab in communist America.
Satire on Communist America and Protests
00:04:13
Speaker
Actually, we're allowed to be scabs, but people don't know that yet. So we're like, yeah, probably best to just think about it. All of communist America is kind of just one big scab.
00:04:22
Speaker
Yeah, rats, you know, crossing picket lines. In communist America, there is a constant state of striking. Someone is always protesting something and we always respond with force. Yeah, we come down with the iron fist. We have no patience for it, but we encourage protests so we can flex our might.
00:04:47
Speaker
Yeah. Because I know it's protesting, how can we show advances? Protests are encouraged, but you will pay the price. Since we're going into full isolationist politics, for sure, we're not involving ourselves in what happens in the rest of the world.
Isolationist Policies and Military Investments
00:05:06
Speaker
We do invest most tax dollars into military advancement of our technologies. How else are we going to show that off? How else are we going to spend our money? What else are we going to do? Pay for college or something? Not in a way.
00:05:29
Speaker
Austin weather it's been rainy. It's it's gotten old some days. It's a little it's like 55 60 today. It's been gloomy. It's kind of nice though.
00:05:39
Speaker
Yeah, it's it it's like feels like fall there, though. It's not like hot. And it's weird like it a couple of weeks ago, it got up in the high eighties, but then it's been it hasn't really been nice very much, but it's been like either rainy and like kind of cold or hot. It's you know how it'll just kind of bounce back and forth. I feel like you don't get really consistent weather. No, but it's been like the temperature has been generally nice,
Commuting in New York's Rain
00:06:06
Speaker
though. It's been really rainy lately.
00:06:09
Speaker
Yeah. There was a period of time in New York from probably around the last time that we potted until I went to LA a couple of weeks ago, where it rained seven weekends in a row. It would be like super nice during the week. Like literally seven weekends in a row. It was driving me nuts.
00:06:32
Speaker
That sucks, too, because I feel like that's the one, maybe not the one, but a downside of like not having a car, whatever, like getting around when it's when it's raining. Probably massive downside to not having. Yeah. Fucking sucks. Like walking around in the rain is so annoying. Have I find probably because I don't do it very often, but I found find walking around when it's raining with an umbrella very satisfying. I like hearing like the the rain. Do you have a good umbrella, though?
00:07:02
Speaker
Not really, I have an umbrella. What defines a good umbrella? Like, I just get like little, like five, three dollar umbrellas from like bodegas, because I lose about 12 bucks for this bad boy. Yeah, yours is probably better than mine. That probably makes a ton of difference. Like that's $7. But I just lose umbrellas and Chapstick. I lose all the time. So I'm like, I don't want to invest in a good umbrella.
00:07:28
Speaker
But if it's a little windy, it'll just like flip open. Yeah, that's the worst, dude, when you're inside out. My brother George told me he has like for golf, he had this umbrella that's like, I guess it's got slits in it. Are you watching football right now?
00:07:47
Speaker
What was going on? Yeah, I got busted so I can see my TV on it
00:08:04
Speaker
I should have kept the sunglasses on. So he slits in his umbrella. Why? Well, I guess it was for golf when he was playing in like weather. And I guess they have slits or something cut in it. We would need to have an umbrella scientist come on and fully explain what's going on here. But I think it prevents it from like.
00:08:23
Speaker
blowing in weird ways whenever you're walking around when it's windy. That makes sense. And now I'm thinking about how sick this podcast would be if we had an umbrella expert. That's like the one thing we don't have. We have a dentist, we have a doctor who listens to this podcast, but we do not have an umbrella expert.
00:08:43
Speaker
I know, and I feel like we're generally pretty worldly people with a wide variety of knowledge and different subjects, but for some reason, there's just a big gap in umbrellas. Yeah, Texas Public Education didn't know that. The real revisionist history on that. They just watched Umbrella history. It's messed up.
00:09:06
Speaker
Dude, but yeah, the weather's been crazy in New
Travel Tales to LA and Dallas
00:09:10
Speaker
York. It's actually really nice this weekend. I was in LA for a couple weeks. Do you do any traveling since we last podcasted?
00:09:20
Speaker
Trying to think. I don't think so, no. I haven't gone anywhere since I went to Colorado. We did one after I went to Colorado, right? I think that's probably around the last time. The last one, yeah. So I did that, and I think I've gone to Dallas a couple times, but that's nothing exciting. What are you doing? So next, we have about a week and a half till Thanksgiving.
00:09:43
Speaker
That's how long it's been since we potted. What are the holiday plans? What's coming up for Jack Gardner? I'm glad you asked, man. I'm glad you. I didn't think you were going to, but I'm glad you did. Um, yeah, I'm just going home and for Thanksgiving and going to Dallas. Yeah. Yeah. I go into Dallas for Thanksgiving doing the turkey trout, of course. Classic. As is tradition. Nice. That was sick. Yeah.
00:10:07
Speaker
You know how it is, but yeah, just generally hanging out. I'm going to Houston for Christmas because like every other year, my dad's whole family, like the cousins and everyone get together. What do you do on the years that you guys don't get together? We just hang out at my parents' house, yeah. So as far as Turkey Charcos, have you been preparing cardiovascularly?
Dallas Turkey Trot Tradition
00:10:33
Speaker
What's the strategy? It's interesting.
00:10:36
Speaker
The problem is if you run the turkey trot, you don't get to spend as much time at the turkey trot. Have you ever done a turkey trot?
00:10:44
Speaker
I did one once in Illinois when my parents lived up by Chicago. So the one in Dallas, it's like so it's right downtown and it's kind of like a party. Like they have bands playing on the way and like there's like entertainment type stuff and everyone like dresses up in costumes. And so it kind of makes it fun to just walk it because it's also through downtown Dallas. Like they close off the street and you walk like right down where the sky
00:11:06
Speaker
So it's like a nice kind of walk, honestly. You bring like mimosas with you, you rip a couple mimosas. Oh, yeah. We always drink like first thing in the morning and then go and do it. Like literally wake up at like seven and just drink a little bit and then go do the turkey trot. Then you eat, then you fall asleep. Why do you think places started doing turkey trots? I don't remember learning the history of Thanksgiving and learning how they ran 3.2 miles.
00:11:34
Speaker
Yeah. Apporigines. Apporigines. Well, I think there's a lot to it. You know, there's historical context and everything, but I feel like if there wasn't. Like a word for run that started with T, it would it wouldn't exist.
00:11:57
Speaker
if the word trot didn't exist neither would the turkey trot in my opinion everywhere in America like they're huge and it's just like yeah it's like the YMCA we're the fastest country in the world and in our biggest eating holiday of the year we're like yeah but also
00:12:16
Speaker
everyone runs three point two miles yeah yeah you're still walking three miles you know yeah not not exercise yeah usually i'll run like a little but last year was actually cold and rainy and i think that's the first time i've ever run the entire thing just because we're like
Thanksgiving Family Traditions
00:12:34
Speaker
But it is nice though, cause you'll like, you'll run it and then you go home and have the Thanksgiving feast and then you just, you're in Vibetown USA afterwards. Yeah, you just, you got some exercise so you feel pretty good about that.
00:12:48
Speaker
And then you eat a ton of food and then you just zonk out and get frustrated by the Dallas Cowboys for the rest of the day. It's a good holiday. Awesome. I can't wait until I'm on the, are you like, if you see your family slash extended family and middle-aged men, do they like specifically on like big eating holidays like Thanksgiving, will they fall asleep like sitting up on the couch with their mouths open?
00:13:13
Speaker
Most definitely. I've hit that. Yeah. In my life. It's like my grandparents house. There would be like five of my uncles and my dad would all be on the couch. Just like leaning back a mouth open. You know, you've made it. Yeah. That's sleeping on the couch. Dude. You just housed an entire Turkey. I also don't know what it is. I love sleeping on a couch.
00:13:41
Speaker
I think it's nice because it's a little treat. You're not planning on going to sleep. You just get so comfortable and relaxed that you just take a little nap. Yeah, like last night I went to a show.
00:13:53
Speaker
And then I came home, I bought a pint of ice cream on the way home. So I ate ice cream and I was just watching a podcast on YouTube. And then I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm asleep on the couch. And I fell asleep on the couch. And I was like, I don't know why I like it. I just like falling asleep on the couch. It is really nice. And then you move to your bed eventually and stuff. But that initial, you're kind of just like, you're like embracing sleep in a way. You're just like, fuck it. I'm falling asleep here. Yeah.
00:14:21
Speaker
I agree with that. I think it's really nice to take a nap and not in your bed. I feel like there's less pressure to fall asleep too. Because when I fall asleep on the couch, I'll usually be watching something on the TV and then you just start drifting off and you just let it happen and you're able to do that. There's nothing more satisfying. Do you have trouble falling asleep?
Sleep Habits and Anxiety Solutions
00:14:42
Speaker
Um, I go back and forth, uh, late. I've been sleeping really well lately here, but I had, you know, I think what really helps is if I go to bed like earlier. So, Oh, really? Yeah. Cause I, so I think for me,
00:14:58
Speaker
what would happen is I'll allow like I'll be like get in bed and I'll be like okay I have to wake up in eight hours and then I like won't fall asleep immediately and then I'll stress out and be like oh shit like now I have to be awake in like seven hours or whatever and I just get in my head.
00:15:13
Speaker
But if I go to bed a little bit earlier I can like chill like read or mess around on my phone and then just close my eyes when I have like plenty of time to fall asleep and then rather than like rushing into sleep. Yeah, I was having this weird thing though recently and I know this is like what my dad like always has this issue where I was falling asleep and I was waking up like.
00:15:34
Speaker
an hour and a half before i was supposed to and then i couldn't get back that's the worst i was like super tired all day this is terrible but here i've been on a good streak of sleeping for the past like week and it's i feel nice
00:15:52
Speaker
dude yeah it is a game changer i um i think i might have like like i i'm noticing that i'm like starting to like snore and stuff so i'm like i think i might
00:16:09
Speaker
Have like more problems sleeping than I realized because I always wake up tired and stuff Yeah, you know I do sometimes like a lot of times I'll feel like I get a good night of sleep, but I'm tired like the entire day Yeah, and I like Google that and it was like apparently that's like what people sleep apnea field I'm like, I don't know if I've sleep apnea So I'm going to a doctor, but I'm like, I want to wake up after night of sleep and be like, wow, I feel rusty Yeah, you know, I probably should do that every once in a while. I'll have a night of sleep like that though. I had one like
00:16:39
Speaker
The other day where I woke up and I was like I feel amazing. It's crazy how much of a difference just feeling Getting a good night's sleep like changes your life, dude Yeah, like I'll be so much more like irritable and anxious and just cranky If I don't sleep well and then I'll sleep well for a few days and I'm like the best
00:16:59
Speaker
Like I'm on top of the fucking world. Yeah, I've always had kind of a not great Sleeping like relationship like I always like that when I asked I was like I already know the answer, you know Yeah, but it's actually been the past Few years. It's kind of been better. I think since I got out of sales like You like don't look at this job Yeah
00:17:28
Speaker
Sorry, go ahead. I don't know. I was just gonna say like, whenever I was in college, I kind of started getting it and I think I just like started getting like anxiety and stuff like that and I never had it before. So I feel like it was just kind of getting like understanding what that's like and you know, learning how to manage it and stuff.
00:17:47
Speaker
Yeah, that is good, man. That is good that you're sleeping better and you have become numb to your anxiety. Oh, it's still there. Sounds like you're killing it in the sleep game, dude.
00:18:03
Speaker
Yeah, it hasn't been bad, man. I'll show you the rope sometime when I'm in Austin.
Halloween Costumes and Inspirations
00:18:08
Speaker
I want to give you one of those hats like that dangles with the ball on it and some sleepy time tea. Dude, I was a sleepy time bear for Halloween last year. That's awesome. It was a sick costume. I got like a candelabra and I got like a blue nightgown and I wore a like a red sleeping hat.
00:18:29
Speaker
And one of the people that I went out with on Halloween last year, they posted on Instagram on Halloween this year and they were the sleepy time bear. Are you kidding me? Like you clearly just clocked it. Did you confront them? No. I was like, what? I was like, you clearly clocked my costume a year ago and you were like, all right, I know what I'm going to do next.
00:18:53
Speaker
like took a note of it they they were like oh i like that i've never heard that you just clocked it you know i just clocked clocked yeah you're clocked and clocked that's cool i'm clocked in dude that's kind of crazy yeah dude that was all my costume so did you end up doing anything for halloween
00:19:26
Speaker
Dressed like a cowboy is powerful, bro. I have a pair of cowboy boots, and whenever I put them on, I just feel like a total badass. Dude, I'm taking a pair of my dad's old cowboy boots from my parents' house and bringing them back to New York with me. Bring them to Austin, we'll wear cowboy boots. Oh, my God, dude. Of course. I'm super dead. I loved...
00:19:37
Speaker
I was in LA, so I basically wore Alex Kennedy's cowboy clothes. Just dressed like Alex Kennedy.
00:19:49
Speaker
being a cowboy i was yeah oh this is awesome so tall they had like two inches to your height i felt unstoppable i was like i could do anything i actually have this suite so my grandpa gave these boots to my uncle
Cowboy Boots and New Year's Plans
00:20:08
Speaker
who then gave them to me and they're like 40 years old probably and they're really nice. They're so sick but the thing is I can like barely get my feet in them. I can wear like really thin like slick socks like dress socks. Yeah like that's the only way and it's like once they're in it's fine but just like the process of getting them on is
00:20:27
Speaker
But there's a shoe horns for cowboy boots that are like 10 inches. Oh, you we got to wear cowboy boots for New Year's. Well, I was taught Alex wants to come to Austin, too. We can get the cowboy gang together, dude. Everyone's a cowboy. Get get all the cowboys together. Dude, that would be so sick. We have to like really go for it. Like we're cowboy boots. Go to like a thrift store, get like a cowboy shirt. I'm down.
00:20:57
Speaker
And like maybe if we can find an affordable cowboy hat. I say if we do it, we fucking do it. You know what I mean? I have a pair of overalls that I got from my loom with the costume last year. I have overalls too. Dude.
00:21:12
Speaker
Overalls with cowboy boots in Austin on New Year's Day. Everyone would think we're like a battle group. That would be sick dude. Alex Kennedy would look dope in that fit.
00:21:37
Speaker
So for Halloween this year I was so you know that whole Roman Empire meme thing those gunner Oh, yeah, he's probably thinking about other girls and then it's like the guy in Think about the fire ever
Roman Empire Meme and Costume Ideas
00:21:52
Speaker
Honestly, I read that meme and I was like, I bet I think about it once a month. I bet some little, not like intense contemplation, but like some little like tidbit, I'll be like, wow.
00:22:04
Speaker
That's cool that they invented running water. You know what I mean? I was like, I thought that that was so funny because I actually think about the Roman Empire kind of a lot at one point. And yeah, it's sick, but I was trying to get.
00:22:25
Speaker
like a group of people to dress up as Romans for Halloween. Oh, fuck. Yeah. And like several people agreed to it. And I was like, OK, this is going to be sick. So I ordered a costume and then everyone ends up bailing on it. And I have this costume delivered and it was like so over the top. And I was going to it was just like a like a gladiator costume. But I was just going to a concert. And I was like, I can't wear this. It's it's too much like if I'm doing it by myself. I know. So I ended up returning it.
00:22:56
Speaker
What was the concert? A no mortal orchestra. Oh, really? That's cool. I honestly like was so obsessed with them for a long time. And yeah, it's just such a good easy listening music every time.
00:23:16
Speaker
Every once in a while I'll be like, you know, like what sounds good right now is like a no mortal orchestra. And they're all in a they're fucking great. I bet that was a fun Halloween show. Yeah, I was. Would you dress up as instead? I just wore a Wayne's world hat and more like a funky and more funky show, bitch. I know. Well, I had plans to do this Roman thing. And then, yeah, I was pretty disappointed in myself. I feel like I'm usually a pretty good Halloween guy, but I let my people down. Yeah, you have the goat Halloween costume.
00:23:46
Speaker
Which one? Yodeling.
00:23:49
Speaker
Yeah, I always wear that as a turkey trot. You do? Yeah, I wear it like every single year to the turkey trot. That's so awesome. I don't wear it this year. You should. No, you should wear your gladiator costume. Oh, you returned it. That would be sick if you just held a sword out. It had like a massive cape that was dragging on the ground and stuff. It was crazy. We're just in Amazon? Yeah, I was just from Amazon.
00:24:19
Speaker
But last year, Alex and I did Mario and Luigi. And that shit landed, dude. It was hilarious. It was so fun. Did you do Luigi? Yeah, yeah, I was. But this year, I saw so many Mario and Luigi's. I guess because the movie came out and people... Because last year, we were... It was ahead of the worms. Dude, it was so funny, though, being Mario and Luigi.
00:24:44
Speaker
It was a good costume. Yeah, it was sick, dude. And then the year before that, I was Ted Lasso. You were Coach Beard and Alex was the soccer ball from Ted Lasso. Oh, yeah, she brought that back out. We went and met up with George and his girlfriend.
00:25:01
Speaker
and we she also has like an oppa hat so i wore the oppa i like barely i mean i wore like like tan colors and then wore the oppa hat and she wore like black wore the soccer ball hat then we went to this like soccer ball from ted lasso yeah of course abstractly soccer ball i'm actually not sure
00:25:20
Speaker
We'll have to check up there. You'll have to ask when we have the Al explosion pod. Oh yeah, that's going to be crazy. But yeah, we wore it to like this nice Asian restaurant. And like, nobody else is wearing costumes. That was hilarious. On Halloween, I went to a diner in LA at like three in the morning and it was just 50 wasted people.
Oompa Loompa Group Costume
00:25:48
Speaker
all dressed up in different costumes. And like the staff of the diner was just so stressed out. It was like three in the morning. You remember when I was in New York and we saw those Oompa Loompas?
00:25:59
Speaker
I tell that I constantly cite that as the greatest group costume I've ever seen. I'm sure we've talked about this on the podcast before, like a year ago, but we saw it was raining in New York. When we were there for Halloween, Alex and I were there last year. That was last year? Two years ago. We saw, damn, we've been doing this podcast for a long time. Was that the last time you were in New York?
00:26:30
Speaker
Was it? I feel like Kelly and I went since then. Oh, yes. You guys came like a little over like almost a year later. Was that just like September? It was like probably 14 months ago. Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:47
Speaker
Right but anyway so we're walking around it was raining and we saw like one dude like dressed as an Oompa Loompa kind of around a corner and we're like oh shit that it was like a crate like a well done Oompa Loompa costume and then as we come around the corner we see like a group and one guy dressed as Willy Wonka.
00:27:07
Speaker
They're probably like nine people. And then like, they all just decided to run into the rain, I guess. So they all just started really awesome costume I've ever seen. You think they had like some sort of competition to decide who got to be Willy Wonka?
00:27:29
Speaker
They must have like pulled straws or something. We should do that sometime if we can get like a big group together for Halloween and we like decide who gets to be Willy Wonka and then everybody else is Oompa Loompas. I'm happy to copy that Halloween costume one year. Oh, yeah.
00:27:46
Speaker
Dude, I would love to if we just had a squad of Oompa Loompas. Be so sick, dude. Just call find like overweight people and be like a ghost. I'd be into it. I would be down. That was it's the greatest group costume I've ever seen. What we should do is have like. A girl be Willy Wonka.
00:28:32
Speaker
Dude, I might have to go Sigma after that comment. Yeah, dude. You need to stop listening to Andrew Tate. Jack has been just non-stop sending me Andrew Tate podcast clips. He's like, this is how it should be, and it's like Andrew Tate, why women shouldn't have sex with people or something. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I know it's a little over the top, but if you really listen to him, he makes some good points.
00:28:38
Speaker
and all the dudes be Oompa Loompas.
00:28:57
Speaker
And all he just says is like webinar bitches. It's like, see, I told you. Yeah. Yeah. In the last two and a half months. Yeah. All right. Should we wrap it up there? Yeah, let's do it. All right, guys. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Thanks.
00:29:24
Speaker
Tuck sauce. Bo and Jack are just a couple youths. Recap in line. Tuck sauce. Tuck sauce. Tuck sauce? Tuck sauce.