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Talk Sauce #84 - Doctor to The (Child) Stars
15 Plays2 years ago
The boys are back with a special guest.
They discuss your medical questions, and catch up on the good ole times.
Follow Talk Sauce on instagram: @talksauce.podcast
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Transcript
Theories and Science
00:00:00
Speaker
Can I give you my theory before we get the scientific theory? I'd like to see... Both theories are probably more accurate, so I'd like to hear that first. Wow! I think... I think...
Introduction and Guest
00:00:29
Speaker
Yo, we're back again. What's up? What's up? After a couple weeks. It's the podcast for Talksauce. By Talksauce. Yeah. We have a special guest you might have seen from our Instagram asking some questions that you have for a doctor. We have Dr. Emily Gardner, my sister.
00:00:50
Speaker
If I had a doctor in the house.
Emily's Medical Journey
00:00:54
Speaker
Yeah. You're giving this podcast so much more legitimacy than it deserves. Yeah, she's wearing scrubs. I may not have slept in these scrubs. Give us a little rundown on your medical profession. Where'd you go to school? What kind of medicine are you in?
00:01:11
Speaker
Okay, got you. So this all started back when I was 10 years old. You're telling this story basically using all your siblings, by the way. To people who already know the story. I use the hell out of the siblings in my medical school application essay in my head.
00:01:30
Speaker
one of my speeches I did, I was just like, these were my first patients hearing their booboos on their knees. Yeah, we all read it and we're like, well, this never happened. It's cool. But I went to med school in Puerto Rico, actually, the lovely island. Jack came to visit one time, was pretty sick.
00:01:57
Speaker
But now I'm in a pediatric, so I just take care of little babies most of the time, but also all the way up to like 21 years old. Is a 21 year old considered a pediatric patient?
00:02:09
Speaker
In some places, some places it goes to 18 and others it goes to 21, but then I've seen like 24 year olds because sometimes they're just like too lazy to find an adult doctor. So I just have to go in there and be like, Oh my God, I didn't sign up for this. You're literally nearly my age. That must be so
Pediatrics vs. Adult Care
00:02:28
Speaker
weird. If they act childish, do they get pediatric care?
00:02:38
Speaker
I feel like it's actually way better down on the pediatric side because they have like painted walls and like nice people. And if you go to like the adult side, they're just, it's kind of like sad, sad land.
00:02:57
Speaker
Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. I believe it. What's it like in the morgue? Can you spend a lot of time there? Yeah, I like to just have good one-on-one chats with the dead folks. You've been practicing for podcasts in the morgue. It's like four talk talks.
00:03:21
Speaker
No, man, thankfully, I like don't have
Anatomy Lab Challenges
00:03:23
Speaker
to do that anymore. But I did have to do anatomy lab in med school, and it was truly terrifying. I couldn't do it. I said dead body thing freaks me out. I remember calling like our mom and being like, I really don't want I was like in the bathroom, like before having to go like see a dead body. And I was like, I don't want to do this. And she's like, you're gonna be okay, Emily.
00:03:47
Speaker
And yeah, it just became like, it became really normal after a while. We had like a name for our corpse and everything. I feel like you have to like do bits about it and stuff to like make it feel weird. Yeah. It's crazy how you can just get used to that type of stuff. Because it's like everyone I've known who works in healthcare, I feel like they have an initial just like what is going on kind of moment that I think I would have just for the entire time.
00:04:12
Speaker
You become very desensitized after a while to just like absolute crazy shit that's happening all around you. But I kind of like live a little bit for the drama. Yeah, sure. So were you did you have issues watching like gory shit when you were before you got into medicine and like has it impacted that? I feel like I've never been like a fan of watching. Like do you guys remember those that one
00:04:40
Speaker
thing that went viral, that dude playing basketball where his fucking leg bone popped out of his leg. Do you guys remember that? I don't like that kind of crap. That's what I was literally going to use that as an example. Basically injuries. I'll see skateboarding videos or people playing sports who just hurt themselves really badly somehow and I can't even watch it. Nasty shit is nasty shit. I don't relish that, but you definitely get desensitized now to
00:05:10
Speaker
bodily fluids and like poop and stuff. They had like good poop practices as an RA in college and there was like, I had to do a lot of literal, literal shit.
00:05:26
Speaker
I'd get into it for the shit, you know? Let's see what other people's bowels look like. That would be, rather than having, yeah, I have my younger siblings that I took care of. I was just looking at my poop and I thought, why not pursue this all the time? Is my poop the same as everyone else's? I like to think of poop as a fingerprint. Everyone's unique and different in their own way. That is really beautiful and funny.
00:05:54
Speaker
We actually have this poop chart.
Bristol Stool Chart Explained
00:05:58
Speaker
Basically, I have to see a lot of 14, 15-year-olds and literally my job is to ask them about their shit. I go on there and I'm like, how's your poop? Tell me. They're all like, I can't. We have this thing called the Bristol stool chart. This is a real thing that someone whose last name is probably Bristol
00:06:17
Speaker
Spent time. B-R-I-S-T-O-L. Yeah, you gotta come look that shit up. I'm Googling. But it's basically different levels of poop hardness. Oh my god. So there's seven levels on the Bristol stool chart. The first one looks like an owl pellet, or deer fit. That's not what you want. You don't want that. Those ones are uncomfortable. Definitely been there before. You want to be three or four. I'm pretty familiar with all the levels of
00:06:48
Speaker
Yeah, so you can be like... That looks like a normal weekend to me, baby. What is it, Tuesday? Yeah, go through each of them individually. I just had to memorize it so that when you take a shit on pod, you can be like... The stools. Oh, yeah, it was the stools. You just did a four on the Bristol scale. Jack's like, that's good. You've been working on your school, man.
00:07:15
Speaker
If you're consistently, because I imagine both ends, like type one and type seven, type seven is more like a diarrhea kind of poop. And then type one is just like the hard little pellets rabbit. Like I'm one of those ends. I imagine that's probably not considered healthy.
00:07:34
Speaker
That is correct. Wow. Wow. Autorary doctor in the house. If this continues, you should grant Bo the title doctor. I'll like lose my own qualifications. It's like illegally gave someone else. You get them to me. What would you rather have more of from a health perspective, type one or type seven?
00:07:59
Speaker
Dude, I mean, like, are you talking about me personally? Oh, no, just like objectively like as like a human if you're consistently on one of those. Holy shit. I never really like thought it through honestly, if they're both like pretty bad, but I would honestly probably say if we're talking like little kids, I probably would rather a type seven because the type one like
00:08:22
Speaker
Sorry, I just burped. I don't know if you're- Burping? No, that was said. I don't know what's allowed. Anyways, in the type one, we've literally had kids admitted to the hospital, and I don't think people know this because they're severely constipated. They'll be admitted to the hospital just to get their poop out, basically. It's pretty shocking. I didn't know that before I went to medical school that kids get admitted for constipation.
00:08:51
Speaker
That's wild. I did find on Etsy for $13, a cute Bristol stool chart. Wow. Eyes on the turds. Yeah, I knew it. Number four is smiling. Number six is shocked. Number six just became aware of its existence and it's not happy. Number two looks like Snickers bar or something.
00:09:17
Speaker
Yeah, you want it to be like a number four, man. That's where it's at. Like smooth. Smooth, soft sausage or snake. I think I normally have number four. Dude, rad. Congratulations. That's pretty good. That's pretty cool. You're transcending. So, Emily, were you wearing the scrubs before or did you put them on just to come across as more of a doctor for the podcast? Literally, so I went to work yesterday morning at 6 a.m. and then I worked for 28 hours
00:09:46
Speaker
And then I came home and I went to sleep from like 10 to 12 30.
00:09:52
Speaker
And I did not change clothes that entire time. You're on two and a half hours of sleep right now. Do you get a sick hospital at all?
Surviving Long Shifts
00:10:00
Speaker
Yeah, I do. I got to lay down, but it's like the world's worst sleep because you're laying there like on this kind of shitty call bed and you have a shitty pillow and you have like 14 phones next to you and people are like, ah, this baby hasn't pooped or, ah, can you like write this medication for this baby? And so it's just like constant,
00:10:21
Speaker
like onslaught of messages. So like I definitely sleep, but it's like, I'm not in rapid eye motion. I see. So is there like, um, like how do you get through a 28 hours shift? Um, I basically live for the food. Like I'm just like, okay, what am I eating next? And how long do I have until that? So like, I knew I had donuts incoming this morning and that was huge for me. How much coffee are you crushing?
00:10:47
Speaker
Um, over the course of the day, honestly, not too much because I don't want to get to the Bruce Bristol still turn number seven. Coffee will put you there. But, uh, probably like five to six shots of espresso on average at once. Like, no, I'll have like, I'll have three ish in the morning and then later in the day. I know you guys talk about your coffee habits a lot. And I feel like I kind of.
00:11:16
Speaker
I kind of match that, like I'll do some in the morning, but like immediately when I wake up, and then I'll do some like in the afternoon to keep me chugging along. I didn't have coffee today until 2.30 in the afternoon. That's impressive. I don't need it right when I first wake up, but I have to do it at some point. Did I tell you both? So I usually try and wait a little while.
00:11:37
Speaker
Did I tell you I started taking the approach of not having coffee for the first hour and a half after being awake? It's the move, right? Dude, I was attributing a lot of my just naturally waking up to the coffee. I thought that I wouldn't feel awake at all unless I had coffee, but now I just drink a bunch of water and chill and work a little more. And then the coffee, but then too, you can really feel the coffee hit. Because you're kind of awake, then you drink coffee. Straight to the vein. Oh, baby.
00:12:05
Speaker
Drink less coffee throughout the day as a result. I concur. I actually prefer coffee enemas. I recommend them to my patients. Coffee enema? Have you guys heard of that? What is it? I mean, I know what an enema is. I don't know what an enema is.
00:12:22
Speaker
Oh, sure. Okay. We'll put 82 coffee. That's good coffee. Inima. Inima. Oh, up the pot. Okay. I think the bell worked sick. Just like sick, yeah. That's so awesome. Butt chugging, but...
00:12:39
Speaker
with coffee. Next time on Austin, we should butt-chug cold brew. Would it hit? Do you think it would hit harder? Yeah. I think it absolutely would hit harder. I don't doubt it for a second. Have I been the most efficient way to consume coffee?
00:12:56
Speaker
I've heard of it. It's like a fad thing in LA sometimes, I think. God, LA is- That's a good fad. That sounds right up the alley. I love LA, but you hear shit like that and you're like, oh, yeah, LA suck. Yeah, a lot of people doing asshole sunning and apparently- Perennium sunning. Is that a real thing or is it just from that? Have you guys seen that Chad and JT show? Uh-uh.
00:13:25
Speaker
They do that. And it's basically the. So the show is like these two dudes and they're kind of playing these characters of these dumb surfer bro guys. And they're like, oh, we have to like find a new charitable cause like they're they're like.
00:13:39
Speaker
basically just trying to make the world a better place and they do it, they call it perinium sunning and they go interview real people about it and stuff. What is sunning? You put your asshole to the sun. Yeah, they sand and spread their life. I did that just for my own sand. I didn't know that was a thing. I've been doing that for years. Like you're naked, it's like you're perinium, which is the medical term for gooch.
00:14:02
Speaker
Oh, your perineum is the medical term. Is the gooch? Yeah. I think gooch should be the medical term. You know, perineum is just like the colloquial term. We just do like a complete radical switch. I'm crushing the, I'm opening the topo chico. Should I do something else? Okay. Yeah. Wait, put the, open it on the mic. Yeah, I'm doing ASMR. ASMR. Okay. Yeah.
00:14:41
Speaker
I have a medical question, actually, that Bo just brought to my mind. This is what I came for. Here we go. This is what you're here for. You're in the scrubs. You've got your Topo Chico open now. Now that the party's started. What are your thoughts on the health impacts of vaping? This wasn't on our list, but I'm asking because Bo's always vaping. A little more context because a lot of people
00:15:00
Speaker
Remember that from the commercials back in the day?
00:15:07
Speaker
are like, I think because there's not data around it and stuff. They're like, yeah, as Bo, as Bo hits a blinkerton. I think it's because there's not that much data around and people are like, oh, it's worse than smoking. Like, you don't know what's in there. So I hear that argument a lot. But then you also hear like you don't feel like absolutely shit after smoking like you do with cigarettes.
00:15:31
Speaker
Can I give you my theory before we get the scientific theory? I'd like to see. Both theories probably more accurate, so I'd like to hear that first. Wow. I think because there is a lot not known about vaping right now, that in like 10, 15 years, we'll learn a lot about the effects of it. And if I had to guess, I think the effect of vaping that a lot of people are going to see is that they're going to be diagnosed with like being hella sick.
00:15:57
Speaker
They're going to get on the Bristol stool. Yeah. Do you mean Hello Sick as in like, man? I'm ill or like, Hello Sick. Like, Hello Sick, like, damn, you've been vaping for 15 years? You're going to die. If I made a 50-year-old man was like, yeah, I've been vaping for 30 years.
00:16:19
Speaker
That's like a hard pass for me. I'd be like fuck yeah dude. I want you to be my dad. So the best way that I've heard it described and this is kind of dark is vaping is like the methadone
00:16:39
Speaker
and the cigarettes are like the heroin. It's good for folks that want to quit smoking or work towards that, but it still has addictive shit in it. I think it's pretty addictive. You probably know. I can't live without it. Bo sets an alarm every two hours when he's sleeping. He makes up against cold sweats. I need it.
00:17:08
Speaker
I did. I did. I recently got compared to Patrick by a friend the other day and I was like, am I flattered or extremely insulted? I think that's a compliment.
00:17:21
Speaker
Patrick is probably truly the most wholesome character on Spongebob. Simple and wholesome. There's an episode of Spongebob where the whole town has to leave for a day because Spongebob is so annoying to everyone. You don't want to be compared to Spongebob.
00:17:41
Speaker
You guys remember when that conspiracy theory or it was some web thing where it's like spongebob represents the seven deadly sins Honestly, it kind of tracks a little bit I don't know I think
00:17:54
Speaker
Because the theory itself was like, okay, this one's pushing it a bit, but think about it. Spongebob represents love. The theory itself said this is pushing it. I feel like the more we watch Spongebob, the more we find how much of geniuses they were and what an incredible show it is.
00:18:11
Speaker
so I could see them weaving some crazy shit into it
Conspiracy Theories Discussion
00:18:15
Speaker
like that. They used to be like they would. And then there's that theory that Ed Edd and Eddy takes place in purgatory. I've never heard of that one. Yeah, that's another one. That's the Rugrats one, too.
00:18:26
Speaker
Oh, yeah, the Rugrats one, they're all dead. Angelica, they're all figments of Angelica's imagination. It's just like a group of parents that all have dead kids that have bonded. That's so messed up. Dead kids. And then Nettie's and Purgatory like, what does Plank represent?
00:18:49
Speaker
Remember Plank? I know the guy who is friends with Plank. He's supposed to be a depression-era kid, according to this theory, and it's like no one could afford toys. That boy in childhood was just a block of wood. He put a smiley face on him. Oh, God. I feel like we weren't allowed to watch Ed and Eddy. I think you weren't either, and I don't know why.
00:19:14
Speaker
Yeah, that was the one that I think our parents saw it and were like, nah. Because they were like bad kids, kind of. They were always scheming. I knew a couple of kids who weren't allowed to watch it. I feel like Ed and Ed were fine, but then Eddie, man. Plank was the real piece of shit.
00:19:36
Speaker
Yeah, Plank. I don't trust that guy. Plank was a fascist. I don't know if you guys do that. You should write an article about that. Plank was a fascist. Plank was a fascist. Name of the episode.
00:19:54
Speaker
Nice. That'd be so hilarious. I feel like our parents, they were relatively chill with what we viewed though, because I remember we had these neighbors back in the day and they weren't allowed to read or watch Harry Potter or dress up like witches or anything like that. Any spooky shit they weren't allowed to do. Like witchcraft. Yeah, and wizardry. Oh, no. No, wizardry.
00:20:23
Speaker
We had a neighbor when we were living in Orlando that lived across the street and he was only allowed to watch like PBS. Like he wasn't so like we'd go over to his house. We'd just be watching like, do you remember that show like zoom?
00:20:36
Speaker
Yes. The PBS kid show stunk. We would just be forced to watch Zoom or Caillou or some shit. Have you seen there's a whole group of parents online that just hate the shit out of Caillou? Have you ever seen this? Have you guys ever thought about how Caillou's dad is hot? I don't remember what Caillou is. Do you even see his dad? I think maybe it's just neck down.
00:21:03
Speaker
Killer body though. I'm looking at Caillou's dad right now. He's kind of a hunk dude. I went through an era of listening on YouTube to trap remixes of intro songs to shows from our youth and one of them was Caillou and that shit slaps. You need to listen to it later.
00:21:24
Speaker
Because that's the name of the episode. That shit slaps. Can I use that? I can see it, man. He's got it. That green sweater. Yeah, he's a hunk. He's totally like a bushwick, like hipster dad too. Yeah, he kind of does.
00:21:41
Speaker
So I just remember the thing with Caillou was that I just saw posts about him online and people were like my kids like Misbehaving and stuff and then they find out that it's because they're watching Caillou because Caillou like if you watch clips from it He's like just a whiny bitch the entire show. I don't want to do that the whole time It's crazy. Yeah worse than that at netty probably you know what PBS show was good was um our
00:22:07
Speaker
God, what's the one? Arthur? Oh, Arthur. Oh, yeah, dude. Arthur was the shit. Starring John Legend.
00:22:14
Speaker
John Legend wasn't Arthur. No, he just, there's this thing about how he looks exactly like Arthur. Oh, that's a lie. I've never seen it. But it's so accurate. I'm giggling it right now. And his wife has posted it on her ground. No way. Like a side by side. He looks just like Arthur. John Legend. Does John Legend look like Arthur Loki?
00:22:42
Speaker
He looks like Arthur when he takes his glasses off. I found one where someone put John Legend's face on Arthur's face. No, it doesn't look like Arthur. Yeah, he looks literally exactly like Arthur. It's pretty disturbing. 100% uncanny.
00:22:57
Speaker
and he just had little Arthurs, all the babies. I heard Arthur was originally supposed to have the trunk or the snout of an aardvark, but they made it and they were like, that looks disturbing. Every time I spell aardvark,
00:23:15
Speaker
I do it in the Spelling Bee episode of Arthur. He is trying to spell aardvark and he sings a little song. That's so meta. Like A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K. It's like with bananas. Every time I spell banana, it's like the Gwen Stefani. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. I haven't heard about aardvarks in a while.
00:23:36
Speaker
I feel like I thought about those in the beginning. I kind of forgot they existed. You've been living under a rock bro. Yeah, eat same dude.
00:23:47
Speaker
I remember our mom made up a song to spell our last name, and I was like, how dumb did she think we were? That we couldn't just spell the name Carter. What was the song? Do you remember that, Jack? It goes G-A-R-D-N-E-R. Yeah, I think I've heard that one. She was watching Arthur. Hard parts are funky looking animals. What's the difference between that and an anteater? I think it's the same thing. Is it?
00:24:17
Speaker
Okay. I believe so. I'm googling Aardvark versus Anteater. Yeah, I've got it. I thought you should know this. Oh shit, they're hella different looking. Whoa. Yeah, they look super different. They just both have funky noses. Which one looks more like John Legend?
00:24:34
Speaker
The animator looks insane, dude. It's facing so long. It doesn't look like it should exist. The full body shot is so weird. People don't talk about animators enough. You see the one with its tongue, dude?
00:24:48
Speaker
Wait, I saw one. I remember I went to the zoo in Nashville one time and they had like a resident anteater and they gave it one of those, you know, those long glasses that you get in like New Orleans or something like super freaking long. Yeah, like yogurt in the bottom. And this motherfucker just slurped it out with his tongue. He was like, that's crazy. Like all the way into the bottom of the cup. I'd like to think I said and scroll down just a bit down the page and look at that thing's tongue.
00:25:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's insane. I was just insane. Oh my god. We need to include show notes or show images. Yeah. I know. That's one. We also can't share screens on this software. It is frustrating that we can't do that. All right. You want some more medical questions? We've asked you one. Test my knowledge, bro. Are these all from the Instagram? Are they just? Yeah, it's kind of a mixture of stuff. Save some for the next episode. OK. Yeah, we'll save some. Oh, I'm coming back.
00:25:45
Speaker
Yeah, we're going to backlog one with you two. If you're done, we can discuss it in a second. But anyway, so this one was actually from Beau's brother, and I think this is a very good question. I do too. So he's asking if everyone fell asleep for a month, would diseases like COVID and the flu go away? So if there's, I think what I took it as is there's like no human, because they mention people being around each other, right? So would the virus just die out?
00:26:14
Speaker
So if like, we're all, we all hybrid, we all hybrid. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, hell yeah. I think they wouldn't have a place to go. I was like, I, this is not something that like explicitly learned in medical school. I'm just like rolling with it. We're just letting people who don't know answers, like to just be doctors. Okay. My, my edumacated, um, guests would be that probably they wouldn't be able to like reproduce anymore.
00:26:44
Speaker
the virus needs a host. So if everyone's hibernating by themselves in their bedrooms, then I think that they would probably cease to exist. The real question is, do bears get viruses when they hibernate? I was literally, I was thinking, when I read the question, I had that exact same thought. It would have to be like what?
00:27:04
Speaker
Like you'd have to be in like such a controlled like airtight kind of like environment, right? So nothing could like get in or out. Everyone would have to be in a parking lot, right? As long as you're all in your own room, I would think it's fine. I mean, it's like effective like quarantine in a way. Yeah, it would be. But it's forced.
00:27:22
Speaker
That would be a good idea. The government could just drop some like sleeping gas. That'd be kind of sick. I'd take a nap. Is that what you all would do in communist America? No, we want viruses. The fear of viruses is what keeps us in power. Yeah, and we just have the fear. We could release like strep throat like every six months just cause like, but we take up all the antibiotics first of all, then we release strep throat to all citizens.
00:27:50
Speaker
And then whenever they start getting really sick, we airdrop some penicillin or something. Sick. That genius just cropped us in with penicillin. Yeah, you could be the chief medical advisor of communism. You could tell us how we could cure things, and then we will use that knowledge.
00:28:08
Speaker
to not cure them. We'll give it to capitalist America in the north. It would be an honor and a privilege. I just want to design my own sick uniform. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah. It's not going to look like modern day medical uniform at all. I'm not like an iron man or something. We'll get you some rocket boots too so you can fly around. No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:28:33
Speaker
Oh, we're out. We only have two pairs. Oh, my bad. Too much power. We make Kelly watches fly around in rocket boots and we're always like, look how stupid we look flying in rocket boots. Pretty fun though. We look dumb as hell.
00:28:59
Speaker
Did that answer the question though? I think we got there. You might have to parse through the information, but our listeners are pretty intelligent. They'll be able to figure it out themselves. Yeah, we actually have the highest average IQ of any listeners to a podcast on Spotify.
Product Endorsements Query
00:29:15
Speaker
Yeah. 12. More or less. We're all just vegetables. Basically. It's kind of sick. Okay. One more question for you.
00:29:28
Speaker
Yeah, lay it on me. I'm not sure how relevant this is, but I think it's pretty relevant to doctors too. I see with toothpaste very often that it's like nine out of 10 dentists agree. I think there's similar stuff where it's like 80% of doctors agree that whatever is a good drug. Yeah.
00:29:54
Speaker
How do they get that information? Have you ever been pulled? I've never been pulled on anything just yet. But I feel like the dentist thing, I don't know, maybe dentists are just like way more like
00:30:09
Speaker
available for polling because I feel like I see themselves out there more. I wonder how the dentists sing all the time. Yeah. They phrase it too. They're just like, hey, would you recommend toothpaste? And they're like, yeah. And then they go to one dentist and like, Appalachian Mountains. They're like, hey, do you recommend toothpaste? He's like, I hate them all. He has no teeth. He says Mountain Dew. He says Rush with Mountain Dew. The crank.
00:30:37
Speaker
I feel like you gotta ask Uncle Tim that question, man, too. Yeah. Our dentist is an uncle. Yeah, sweet. Our dentist is an uncle. Our uncle is an uncle. That's crazy. Your dentist first and foremost is a dentist. Your dentist sibling has a child. No.
00:30:55
Speaker
No way. Well, I'll be a dentist uncle. In communists in America, we'll release products. It will be like our only doctor says. Do you think you could provide care to 300 million communist Americans? I think pretty easily. I'm providing care to a hell of a lot of children. Since you're in LA, do you have any celebrity children that come through? Not allowed to say.
00:31:37
Speaker
Yeah, Kendall Jenner has no idea how to cut a cucumber. She has naughty vegetables. She ain't pooping right.
00:31:45
Speaker
No, yeah, there have been, but I cannot say who. But I will say I was hoping for more. Like, before I moved out here, I was hoping that... That was the whole goal. You're like, man, I treat their children very well. You might let me star in this next World War Z. I do have the one like dermatology attending here. Shout out to Dr. Ronald Kotlier. If you're listening, he was like a celeb.
00:32:13
Speaker
dermatologists and like would go out to like celebrity houses to like treat their children's dermatologic needs. I wonder how you get that. Dermatologist like A-listers of Hollywood. Literally no clue because I know I'm not making it there. I feel like dermatology in LA has got to be a good game to be in a dog. I'm going to get my, um, I've already told mom this Jack, but I'm,
00:32:37
Speaker
getting my Botox certification after. You heard it here first, everybody. If you need Botox, you can plug your Botox business at the end. You'll be our first advertiser. No, we were advertised by CarMax. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one. Yeah. They were in the OJ Simpson business in the 80s. So they were like, what's a similar type of person we can work with? And then they found our podcast. Yeah.
00:33:05
Speaker
There you go. Yeah, they did it did randomly pop up like on the Spotify page for some reason it was like brought to you by Carmax Wait, like talk sauce was brought to you by Carmax Yeah, it was it was a banner it wasn't that we should get money for that though It's on our podcast page. We might get well, I think people would have had to click it, but I did click it a bunch we should Look
00:33:36
Speaker
Can you take a screenshot? We should tell people whenever they're on our Spotify, if they see an ad, click it. Yeah, that's how you got to do it. Yeah, that's how they get, we should get at least a cent from it. Yeah, if we get 50 cents from Spotify, what do we spend it on gumballs?
00:34:02
Speaker
What can you buy for two cents these days? Two gumballs. Gumballs, yeah. Gumballs prices are going up. Inflation hasn't affected gumballs. Not yet, not in communist America. That's our one thing. It also hasn't affected hot dog prices. We could just save our money up and then we'll be able to get a Costco hot dog. That'd be sick. After we get 50 cents three times. $1.50, that's how much they run. Didn't Costco's CEO overlord
00:34:31
Speaker
person say that he'll never change the price of the hot dogs. When he retired, the founder told whoever took his position. He was like, if you raise the price of the hot dogs, I will fucking kill you. He was super serious about it. What that tells me is that hot dogs are probably just not that expensive to make. I think Sam's Club made something too, just a super cheap hot dog option to compete. It's not the same at all. I think so.
00:34:59
Speaker
Should we wrap this one up? Can I both thought to wrap this one up that we should not? I want to wait until I want to wrap it up. Let us know. Believe me, you'll want to wrap up after episode two. Episode two, we're putting you through the wringer. Ask me the real hard questions. Why hasn't cancer been cured yet, huh?
00:35:30
Speaker
Cuz cancer's a cash cow and all the... I don't know... She said it! She said it! We live in capital! We live in capital! We just took this open nightmare! Like the headline tomorrow. Alright, check this out. Alright, later. Talk sauce. Talk sauce. Whoa, Jack, or just a couple of dudes. Recap in line.
00:35:59
Speaker
Tuck Sauce! Tuck Sauce! Tuck Sauce!