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Episode 11 - Halp! I Keep Losing Stuff!
74 Plays2 years ago
In this episode, Paul and Martin (co-Mayors of ADHDville) are trying not to constantly lose keys, wallets, and their 'hanging by a thread' sanity. Martin loses track of what episode is what, and Paul performs Sting's greatest hits! Crack on!
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Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember:
This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Celebrating Episode Milestone
00:00:00
Speaker
so before we begin this week's episode we thought it was episode 10 turned out to be episode 11 so anyway crack on with the pod and here we go here we go um actually i just remembered this is episode 10
00:00:19
Speaker
So we should throw ourselves a little party because I said back on episode one that our goal was. So we reached our goal.
00:00:40
Speaker
Oh, you know what? 10 seconds before the chest. That is, that is, yes. I like, I like that. That's a good visual in my head. Two middle aged men, belly bumping and then, and then chest bumping. Exactly.
00:01:01
Speaker
All right, so that was our goal which we've reached and I was actually looking online and most podcasts fail after three episodes, by the way. Oh really? Yeah. Three. Three. We've tripled it already. Triple threat, we are. And where ADHD is?
00:01:22
Speaker
And what the hell I know want a bunch of losers they watch how well how shit are the others then? Oh my god There are three really. Yes, most of yeah, holy moly.
New Podcast Goals
00:01:37
Speaker
I know so we can give ourselves a pat on the back totally And then we can just set a new podcast Goal we're
00:01:51
Speaker
Where is our next goal, Paul, perhaps? Oh, let's not make it numbers. Let's make it a month. A month? Yeah, no, a particular month, a specified month. I'm thinking April. We'll get to April 1st, April the 1st. OK, so if we can get to April the 1st, April Fool's Day, perhaps we'll do a special April Fool's episode.
00:02:20
Speaker
All right, there we go. All right. There you go. Cool. All right. Affarifato, you say in Italian. Right. Deal done. Deal done. Done deal. What? I heard deal. Done deal. Affarifato. Done deal. Lovely. I've got all hot and bothered with your Italian accent there.
00:02:45
Speaker
I thought it was hot and bothered before with my belly bumping. That was just weird.
New Year's Resolutions and ADHD
00:03:00
Speaker
The other thing I wanted to point out was that when this drops January the 9th, we would have been
00:03:07
Speaker
well into 2024. Yes, yes. And there's always a thing, I wonder if anyone out there has made any New Year's resolutions or not done that. Or a resolution not to make any resolutions. Well, that's it, isn't it? That's it. I think
00:03:36
Speaker
If you're an ADHD, there must have been years when you're like, Oh, I must be like more on time. I must stop being so crap. I must draw. I've got repeatable ones and it's so, it's so, it's such bullshit. My therefore is learning, learn, learn a new language. I should learn English first, learn a new language. Get up early in the morning.
00:04:05
Speaker
I'd love to be kind of personal. When's early? When would be early for you? Before midday would be good. Really? No, no, no. But I get up at about between half nine and 10. Okay.
00:04:26
Speaker
Yeah. Well, all right. But like, you know, the weekend stuff like, Oh yeah. Up with the, in English, we say up with the Sparrow farts, you know, like up and atom, you know, jogging, running, swimming, whatever your thing is. Yeah. Can't do it. However, I think I'd love to be that kind of person. Right. Yeah. I'm currently getting up about seven 30.
00:04:57
Speaker
Yeah, so my thing on New Year's resolutions is I've kind of bowled it down to one, which is usually just see if you can make this year better than last.
00:05:19
Speaker
Okay. And it's just so loose that I can't fail. Exactly. Really? Yeah. I just go, okay. Yeah. Can we... The word pathetic comes to mind. No offense. And I'm taken.
00:05:42
Speaker
Sorry, he can be. He can't be offended by that. Yeah. That's bizarre. Yeah, okay. No, it could be way more, way worse than that. It's like, be happier. What does happy mean? Oh, right.
00:06:06
Speaker
Mine implies, at least for me, it encourages me to make more effort and to be a little bit more outside my comfort zone and to not be lazy.
00:06:23
Speaker
That's it. Yeah. Yeah. If I can do that, that's good. That's, I think that's on our list of podcasts to do laziness. I wish gave, I shamed myself. I used to shave myself massively on laziness because I can, I can so through flip between laziness and just being up and at them and lazy and up and at them, you know, all over the place, give my, give myself a hard time, you know,
00:06:52
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, because you kind of think, you know, as an ADHD or before you know you are, you just equate what you're doing to a lack of
00:07:08
Speaker
Yeah. Like a moral fibre on your part. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah. Like a bold word. Disciplined. Come on, Paul, was the bold dog spirit in you? Yeah. Come on. But then, then, then they transitioned into like, before I knew I was ADHD, or even like, thought about the word or definition, then it transitioned into, I, I know I'm just exhausted, like mentally, a lot. You know,
00:07:39
Speaker
And it's maybe like getting up late, so I still ain't gonna think, oh God, really? Do I have to be that exhausting again today? You know, mentally, mostly. Oh. Yeah. All right. Well, on that 2024 bombshell, uh, welcome to ADHDville.
00:08:23
Speaker
Their incoherence will pull me through. Di doo doo da da da da. Is all I want to say to you. Di doo doo doo da da da. They're meaguelists and that's true. That's an actual real lyric from The Man Sting.
00:08:39
Speaker
Mm-hmm a song is even tell it did you do da mr. Tantric? What the hell? What is that mental song meant anyway? I Know it's like choice. He speaks very well of me and there are plenty of great songs that you sing along to and then it's not only really look at the words you go Yeah, hell is going on. Oh
00:09:03
Speaker
Yeah, well I think Ringo Starr's done a couple of belters actually. Who, when you look at the lyrics there. Ringo. Ringo, yeah. We all live in a yellow submarine. And I didn't even read the Blackbird song. It's a Ringo tune. I don't know. It's actually a belter. It's a belter. All right. He should have written more perhaps. Yeah, he should have.
00:09:29
Speaker
Yeah, anyway, hello, I'm Paul Thompson.
ADHD Diagnosis Stories
00:09:32
Speaker
I was recently diagnosed after 56 years with neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by executive dysfunction, occasioning symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation that are excessive and pervasive, impairing in multiple contexts and otherwise age appropriate.
00:09:55
Speaker
Or otherwise known as ADHD. That's really hard to say. It's hard to get through. That is a lot. That is the Wikipedia definition, by the way. And I'm Martin Weston. I was diagnosed with ADHD a decade ago. Three years more than I thought.
00:10:17
Speaker
it turned out. Yeah, I still didn't watch out. How did that happen? Well, because when I said it was seven years old, that was just a blind guess. And then when I was talking to my wife about it, she went, no, mate, it's more like 10. Wow. Oh, Christ. Jesus. Wow. That's time blindness for you. Time blindness in action.
00:10:41
Speaker
So anyway, we're just two mates who, by coincidence or not, after 39 years of friendship, discovered there were co-ADHD-ers.
Purpose of the Podcast
00:10:50
Speaker
Now, it's really important to say that this is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not in any way substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals. No, no, no.
00:11:02
Speaker
So don't take any advice from us. We're just here as an all-inclusive ADHD park bench with pocket at onesies, a bottle of vintage Bollinger and a wind-up radio. Still here? Great. Then grab your loaded baguettes and let's take you to ADHDville, an imaginary town that we created in our minds where we like to explore different parts of ADHD.
00:11:27
Speaker
indeed and here we are where we start off every week in the mayor's office in the town hall we are the joint mayors of ADHD Phil and this is where we take care of business every Tuesday morning so the so I've got the minutes of the
00:11:46
Speaker
meeting in front of me and the first thing we'd like to do is kick off with how was our ADHD week?
Future Plans and Personal Changes
00:11:56
Speaker
It was good, bad, pretty ugly. But you start this time. Oh I'd love to mate, I'd love to. So
00:12:06
Speaker
um my my current job will run out at the end of uh will will run out soon uh i've got another week left so then my big thing is like trying to put a structure on my time yeah after that
00:12:29
Speaker
So really it's been about like, okay, perhaps I should go to the library and do some work there or the cafe do some work there so that there's
00:12:41
Speaker
I'm out of the house, I'm seeing other people. I think my wife was looking for me to join a group as well. So like a photography class or something like that because I think... That is outside of the house, that's a good one. Outside of the house and as I won't be talking to people, having
00:13:08
Speaker
meetings and such like I'll just be my world will be very small or smaller and I actually do quite well when I'm when I'm with our people
00:13:24
Speaker
Yeah. It turns out I'm an extrovert after the whole, you know, the whole lockdown thing. If you'd asked me that before, I would have said I was an introvert. But then once I was locked in, as it were. Locked in. When you were locked in enough, you became... It turned out I was more extrovert. Yes.
00:13:50
Speaker
And my wife, who would have said she was an extrovert, came away from the whole thing going, you know what? I think I'm an introvert. So we completely swapped. I've heard that no one's actually introverted or extroverted. We're all both. Ambie. Yeah, there's a term for it, isn't it? Ambie.
00:14:35
Speaker
Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um,
00:14:43
Speaker
This is important. Please don't change your swimming attire. Oh no. It looks like a seven year old entered the pool with these stupid dumbass flowery caps.
00:15:00
Speaker
It's my girlfriend to view that anecdote. I was I was I was I was folded up with love. That's so funny. God, that's so funny. Yeah. Okay, cool. You. Okay. Yeah, I well.
00:15:20
Speaker
I can be even more specific than that. I had talking about this morning, I had a bit of a shaming episode. I went to because my cholesterol is off the scale. I got my cholesterol exams last week and it's at 305. Recommended is not above 240, 250 or something. But that still is like half.
00:15:46
Speaker
Right, so after you got that, you immediately went and made a beef bougignon, right, with off-the-scale calorie. Yeah, yeah. Cholesterol, yes. That was already teed up that evening. All right. Yeah, with some friends, yeah.
00:16:06
Speaker
that he had already bought even the ingredients and literally the day I was making the beef bugging, which has a whole bottle of red wine. And yeah, knobs of butter and, you know, whatever other measurement of butter you prefer. And you were like,
00:16:22
Speaker
And you were crying into it again. This is the last time I'll ever see you, my dear friend. Just like the last supper. But without his friends. Exactly. So then, of course, being ADHD, I impossibly went out and bought a book on lowering cholesterol. Based on your advice, actually, Mr. West, you said, don't follow recipes on YouTube, which I struggle with.
00:16:51
Speaker
yeah I bought a book okay lower your cholesterol for dummies okay yeah it's brilliant actually it's brilliant all right yeah all right so I went this over this morning because it took a while because there was a couple of birthdays of friends and it's been a struggle to do anything about lowering my cholesterol so today we went to the supermarket
00:17:18
Speaker
Um, and, uh, I want to kind of, um, make a couple of things today. One of which is like a curry potato and carrot soup and ginger and ginger. The other one is, uh, yeah. The other one is a spinach based thing with, I love ginger. That's got ginger too. And, uh, peanut peanuts unsalted.
00:17:47
Speaker
And so I went to show you things. I went into the supermarket and it's a new, I shouldn't have done it. I went into a new supermarket and didn't know where everything, anything was. And I was losing it a bit. And I was going, Oh, I was going from one thing to another. Oh, why, why are the stock cubes sec? Where's the stock cube section next to the biscuit section? It doesn't make any sense.
00:18:09
Speaker
right you know damn you and then and then it's like oh why can't you get crushed um peanuts like you can get crushed walnuts you can get crushed almonds you can get crushed hazelnuts why don't you then i stopped myself i was like paul you fucking entitled over privilege to first world arsehole
00:18:35
Speaker
Crushing yourself, mate. Yeah, just like what? You, like, really listening to myself, thinking, Paul, do you realise what you're doing? You're, like, going off on one about not being able to get crushed peanuts. What the hell? You should be in the aisle shouting at the staff. I want service here. Where's the manager? Where's the manager? Exactly.
00:19:06
Speaker
So yeah, I was like, I'll come on Paul, but at least I do have that. I call it my second pool that like lives above me. It's like that kind of stupid stuff happens or things, stupid things. He's always there. You know, it's like, Paul, all right. What the fuck are you doing? What are you thinking? Where are you going with this to to one, one side? Yes, exactly.
00:19:35
Speaker
All right. Well, we're going to be we're all going to be very excited to to hear how your your new new diet regime is going to be going. I will say that I I now only eat meat twice a week.
00:19:52
Speaker
So maybe once for dinner, once for lunch in the week, and the rest of time is just plant-based. The whole week. Trouble is here, it's like the meat capital of, it's like the region most famous for meat, especially beef. Hello America? No, I'm talking about in Italy.
00:20:12
Speaker
I know, but I mean, I like steak. Yeah. Steak and oh my God. Um, and even my, um, we've got a dairy owner in the family who gives us like free steaks, like
00:20:31
Speaker
Oh, I like me. Well, that's fine. You know, it's just it's you just have to look at it as a as a whole. It isn't like you because you need to protein.
00:20:43
Speaker
for a start whether that's you know but so it isn't like that those things go away. There's two things one is lowering cholesterol and then the next you know after that you know get it down to a decent number but then yeah back to the old crap habits. That's the important thing you know it's it's gonna be a little bit hard to do this podcast with just me I'll just be like talking into thin air
00:21:10
Speaker
Oh, thanks, mate. I appreciate that sentiment. Don't worry. All right. You won't say it was bad. You just say it was difficult. Yeah, no. I will struggle on. Right. A bug could be like a cut or cut out here, you know.
00:21:27
Speaker
Mm hmm. You know, I'll just I'll just run old video of you just on a loop of not talking. You're just listening. I'll just talk to you. Yeah. And that thing of podcast. I think the few figures will go up somehow.
00:21:46
Speaker
Yeah, of course not there. Oh, blimey. Maybe that's how we do it. Maybe that's how we how we break the internet. All right. So number two on the meeting is just for me to remind you to subscribe to the pod.
00:22:04
Speaker
Hit that bell icon if you're looking at this on the YouTube's radius, on the podcast it is. And now, because I was prompted by Marty enough now, but in all the notes, the notes under all the things that we put up on social in the notes is a link. If you go to the bios, there's the links to all our stuff there.
00:22:31
Speaker
Alright, yeah, I think I've also put the email up there so you can email us at ADHDville at gmail.com. Nice, by the way. And this podcast drops every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify and the YouTubers. We are getting our shit together gradually.
00:22:53
Speaker
Yeah, we've done all right. We've done all right. Yeah, take the episode though. Still bristling on that one. I do. Do we want to tackle the thorny subject of the budget? Yeah, do we? Or should we just crack down? Just crack down. And we won't do homework either. We didn't have it. No. Or do we want to set some homework?
00:23:19
Speaker
Well, I feel like after I was thinking about the homework and then I didn't actually manage to get anything organized. So once again, you're off the hook or we are both off the hook.
00:23:36
Speaker
OK. For homework? I did think of homework the other day. No, it's gone anyway. OK. I mean, I've got one. I've got one maybe. But I don't know whether this relates to you as a helping thing. So I'll just posit it. I'll posit it. And we'll see how we go.
00:24:04
Speaker
And I'll do my best to take it on. So one of the problems I find is that the house gets messy real quick, especially because both me and my wife work at home.
Maintaining Home Tidiness
00:24:18
Speaker
So we're here way more than we would if we were working in an office. So I now have a kind of a loose rule, which is I can't walk
00:24:31
Speaker
from one room to another empty handed. So that means if I pass something that shouldn't, if there's like a can of Coke or whatever it is lying there or a crisp packet or something, and I walk past it, I have to pick it up
00:24:55
Speaker
on my way to wherever it is that I'm going. Are you like me? Do you like collection of plates that are around? Yes. So I can't go from
00:25:13
Speaker
if there's a table in front of me or something and then there's an empty mug there and I'm going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I have to take that mug there. I can't go empty handed. I have to find something to put in my hands and take it to the place. Sometimes it's like taking some laundry into the laundry room or some laundry back from the laundry room into my room. So as you're walking around the house,
00:25:41
Speaker
if there's something you can put in your hands, you have to pick it up and take it. And it actually has, I mean, it doesn't solve housework, but it just keeps, just takes that edge off. Does that sound like something you can experiment with and then report back?
00:26:09
Speaker
Okay, I've got something for you to experiment with. Oh, yeah. Brilliant. All right. All right. So, so exciting. Yes, it is. Give it to me. Yeah. Give it to me. Oh, big boy. Oh yeah. Oh, daddy. Hack me.
00:26:27
Speaker
It's a thing. I did like a really good tips. Show me your tipper. Um, um, I didn't know that quick cause the subject that we're coming to today is, um, hell help.
Losing Things with ADHD
00:26:43
Speaker
I'm always losing stuff. Is that, is that like a reference to Penelope pit stop?
00:26:47
Speaker
Hi, it's a reference to a very, um, and, uh, you know, you know, when memes came out, you know, like little pictures and there was a, and there was the help cat, like a kitten. And it was like, uh, it was like a little, um, I'm just like, um, goop in now. There was a.
00:27:13
Speaker
looking really, um, cute and it would just have help. Okay. And, and the kitten was, was, uh, yeah. Anyway, it's a very, very vague reference to that. So many tangents we go on. Anyway, I, I, am I the only one that doesn't get like 90% of memes? I look at them and think, what?
00:27:42
Speaker
Oh, I don't know. I don't register with me. I love memes. I've always liked them. As soon as they came out, I was on board 100%. Wow. They have a whole history. They build on each other. It becomes like a language because they kind of evolve. Let's go to my white board over here. It was on my tick list for ADHD.
00:28:08
Speaker
things. So what was that out? I thought maybe the fact that I don't get maybe this is an ADHD sign. Maybe. No, I mean, anyway, we're all different. So totally. Totally. So I did like a thing. I did like a really quick search on the internet for like, I see what comes pops up about ADHD is losing stuff.
00:28:33
Speaker
And this guy, first thing I clicked on, this guy had this idea, what do you call it in modern times, modern language, a trick, what do they call it? A hack, a hack for remembering stuff. So if you put, this is just one example, it's not specific to, in this case, your keys.
00:28:56
Speaker
put your keys down, when you put them down, blink at them several times. Oh really? Like quickly. So you look down, this is like podcast gold, if you're on YouTube, you look down at your keys and just like blink, like rapidly at them for like five seconds and your brain is like way more likely to register where you left them.
00:29:20
Speaker
Okay. All right. So it's a rapid blinking remembering thing. Okay. Yeah. Homework. I am in. I'm going to give that a go. I'm excited. I'm excited for that. Right.
00:29:39
Speaker
Okay. Great. All right. So I should probably get round to the theme of the week. Well, that does kind of, uh, segue nicely into, uh, the last thing on the gender is, is where are we going today? We're going to segue, take the segue, segue to, uh, the police station lost property department. Cause we're going to talk about, uh, always losing stuff.
00:30:05
Speaker
If I remember where I parked the mayor's car, we'll just jump into that and head to the police station.
00:30:30
Speaker
uh hellstreet blues thing yeah it's hellstreet bluesy isn't it i've kind of i wanted to give it that vibe i always loved that program yeah i think i'm gonna have to watch that you can probably find it on youtube right so so good anyway it is good all right so the subject is uh always losing stuff yeah
00:30:55
Speaker
which is nuts. And I think if you've got ADHD, I think this is like one of the core things so everyone will, it should, I would think, relate to this in one way or another. Or another. One way or another. I'm going to get you. I know. I'm singing a lot today for some reason.
00:31:23
Speaker
Yeah, but that was... Blondie. Blondie. Yeah. Right. In whole her gloriousness. Mmm, I know what she still is. She was the first woman lady that I saw as a kid. And I thought... What? Oh my God. She was on top of the pops. Are you mum?
00:31:49
Speaker
Oh, oh, you know, so not the first first like eating I had just like, oh, my God. Yeah, she stirred things in me. All right. So when I was about 10 or something. All right. So the little part of your little boy brain that suddenly switched on.
00:32:08
Speaker
yeah oh majorly majorly yeah yeah at our school it was like do you fancy uh do you fancy tepe harry from blindly or cape cape bush right
00:32:23
Speaker
I've had that same analogy as well. The analogy is like, if Kate Bush wasn't your favour, then she was your brother, or whatever, or your mates. I came down on the side of Debbie Harry. Oh, man. Still amazing.
00:32:48
Speaker
Oh yeah, she's incredible. Yeah, my sorrow of life a couple of years ago. Anyway, that thing about having trouble staying organised, remembering where you put things.
00:33:07
Speaker
On one scale, it's just annoying, like trying to find that thing. Or if you lose something, it can become a very expensive thing.
00:33:20
Speaker
Oh, OK. Well, OK. To live, right. I mean, you know, if you forget where to put things, where things are, it can be disastrous. Like I know, you know, someone very close to me keeps forgetting their passport and then you're in a strange country and you lose your passport becomes. Right. It's weird you mentioned that. I've got it written here.
00:33:47
Speaker
it's one of my recurring dreams I've had all my life losing my passport all right and there's another one I just realised as you were talking about it two recurring dreams one is losing a passport is the other one's losing my car in a massive car park oh yeah never finding it
00:34:09
Speaker
I have never finding it. No, just till afternoon. Right. And after you're dead, there are reports of this strange ghost with a white beard wandering around the multi-storey car park forever trying to find his car. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. It's actually Wembley stadium car park. Just all right. If you could start there.
00:34:36
Speaker
Yeah. If I park at the airport in the long-term parking, I will take a photo of where my car is and the zone sign where it is.
00:34:56
Speaker
And I will take photos of anything that is a significant landmark to where my car is so that when I come back after a week being away, I can just pull it up on my photos. Well, I've got a fairly new car and it's like super technological. And when I parked my car, about five minutes later, I get a message reminding me of where it's parked.
00:35:24
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's very cool. Google does that as well. So if I use Google Maps, it will tell me it will remind me where I parked. Yeah. Cool. So I thought, OK, so we all know. So what I thought I'd do is a way of shoehorning stories in. I've got seven tips here to stop
00:35:53
Speaker
losing things that I took off of psychcentral.com and then I kind of felt like what dot com psych central psych central I guess it's a it's a conflagration of psychology and right um so the first one on the list is to triple check
00:36:22
Speaker
I double checking is fine for some, but triple checking is even better if you've got ADHD. So that's the, um, uh, you know, when you leave the house, you can't pack your pockets and go keys, wallet, phone. Do I have everything? Do I have everything with me? Yeah.
00:36:48
Speaker
I remember at school, I had this perpetual fear that I didn't have my school bag with me, you know, school bag with all your books in it. You go from like lesson to lesson with your books because we weren't
00:37:05
Speaker
I know that the Americans have their have their blockers, right? That you see in all the teen movies. Yeah, they have a lock and you put your books and stuff. Whereas in the UK, like you probably like me, we had a backpack and you carry the whole lot around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I always I always like
00:37:32
Speaker
Yeah, so that thing of patting your pockets. Is that something that you're forever doing? That's why we spoke about this in another pod. That's why I can't have bags or trousers with too many pockets.
00:37:49
Speaker
Oh yeah. I go crazy, crazy, crazy. Um, I bought a really nice rucksack. Um, and it's very cool. It's got, you know, it's got a pocket for everything, but turns out it hasn't got a pocket for eight HD. Right. You know, I just too much. I think I've got like a five pocket kind of, um, like a tipping point.
00:38:17
Speaker
I have a seasonal issue which is when it's the autumn or fall and winter I have a big coat and it's got these big pockets and then that's where my wallet and my keys live.
00:38:33
Speaker
Because I never go outside the house without my coat on because it's cold. Right. So that's the system. Right. Which is great until you get to when the weather warms up and then you stop wearing your coat. Then I have to transition to my wallet and my keys being in my pocket and I have to have another home for them.
00:38:57
Speaker
right it's yeah yeah it's not a great it's complicated because if i take my dog for a walk i have to remember like the the shit bags that you have a dog yeah that i have a dog and his legs still work you're just walking down the street with this kind of leash dangling behind you forgot the dog forgot the dog forgot the dog i got the shit bags forgot the dog
00:39:24
Speaker
Oh, yeah, the poop bags. Poop bags. Yeah. Yeah. So when I take my dog, Eddie, I have like, yeah. Well, I have this little container that sits on the leash that has a whole roll in it. Yeah. Yeah. Which is great until it runs out and then you've got to remember to put one back in.
00:39:51
Speaker
my girlfriend she she she ties shitbags to the to the lead so it looks like you know it's like like a freely kind of thing oh right well that feels like a lot of like i'd much rather put one big roll on that's got like a hundred yeah let's do that i've got i've got i've got like five pairs of trousers that you always fare you always find a shitbag in one of them
00:40:20
Speaker
Oh yeah, I have spares, so I will have a spare poop bag in my coat pocket. Right. Just in case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you'll always get shamed by like someone who's got proper dogs. Well, there's nothing worse than your dog's pooping and you look around for your poop bag and you're like, oh no.
00:40:38
Speaker
Yeah, once outside a really posh shop, you know, it wasn't like outside, you know, like some like, you know, pound stretcher or, you know, Primark or something. Now it's outside Gucci or something. And I didn't have a bag. So I was like, Oh, God, you know, I will have to go into Gucci, buy one of their bags and use that. Yeah, problem solved. Gucci pooper scooper.
00:41:10
Speaker
Oh please, if there was a poop bag with a Gucci logo on the side. They're probably scented. Oh don't start me on scented shit bags. Do you get those in the States? We got those.
00:41:26
Speaker
So anyway yeah on a tangent there yeah forgetting stuff bags yeah all right so the next one which we've kind of touched on is a place for everything and everything in its place so that's the idea of you can stop losing stuff if you've got a specific place
00:41:52
Speaker
where things live, right? So for example, my passport, because we talked about that, I have a a a manila envelope in my top drawer.
00:42:06
Speaker
that has all my absolute essentials in it. It has my passport, it's got some various documents that are always leaving one envelope only. And that's the rule, is that if I ever go anywhere and use my passport,
00:42:28
Speaker
That's one of the first things I do when I get back is to put the passport back in the envelope. Yeah. Otherwise, otherwise, I'm pretty good with that something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Having having said that, I just pulled it out, just looked in the drawer and look and there's the passport, but it's not in the in the envelope. It's sitting on the envelope.
00:42:53
Speaker
It's not the Manila envelope. What's it called? Manila. It's close. In the other Philippine city.
00:43:04
Speaker
Um, okay. Yeah. So I've got written here as a bullet point that I sometimes think, you know, talking about padding your, patting your pockets and stuff like that. I sometimes feel like I'm on the cusp of OCD.
00:43:27
Speaker
All right. I feel like I sometimes I leave the door front door and think, Oh, I haven't got to that point yet. We'll have to go back and check that the door is closed like 50 times. But it feels like I'm on the cusp. Well,
00:43:45
Speaker
So I guess you have to ask yourself the question, if you go back to check that the doors shut, is it because you can't remember you shutting it? Right. And you think back and go, OK, I don't remember whether I shut it or not. So I'm just going to go and check. Yeah. Whereas OCD, the big difference is. If you don't shut the door, if you don't
00:44:15
Speaker
pull the door to make sure it's shut, for example, something bad is going to happen. Right. It's danger involved. There's danger. Well, yes. Like if I don't do it, something bad risk will happen. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's probably just because you were off
00:44:36
Speaker
When you shut the door, your mind was off thinking about something else. You don't actually remember doing it and then you look back and cut again. Did I? Did I? Because I do that with the gas stove. Yeah. I sometimes do that as well. Yeah. Check. I'll check the back doors. I'll turn the stove off. Things like that.
00:45:01
Speaker
Yeah, those things happen. All right, let's crack on to the next one. It says here five minutes of decluttering. So that's like if you've got everything and it has a place for everything. Yeah.
00:45:22
Speaker
If you see something that isn't in its place, you have to put it back into the place, right? If you see your keys and you've not put them in the right, if they're in an odd place, you then have to go, yeah, no, that's wrong. I can't leave it. Because the thought is, oh, I'll remember where I put my keys. I'll remember that they're there on this shelf, which I never put it. And you time blind yourself because you think, right, well, you know, I'll do it.
00:45:53
Speaker
later and your ADHD lie. It's an ADHD lie because you won't. So you have to, it's almost like a bit of a rule, like, you know, that thing of picking something up and putting it in its right place, right? It's that hack. Yeah. Well, I think as soon as we, when we kind of like, when I started thinking about this episode, the thing that I remember that came straight to mind was like, if I,
00:46:22
Speaker
If I'm like, I don't know, maybe I'm constructing a piece of furniture, Ikea furniture. Or one time I was constructing like a mezzanine at home. And I put the pencil down, right? And the pencil was like the most important thing to sort of efficiency. I put it down and I swear to God every time
00:46:48
Speaker
20 seconds later, a minute later, two minutes later, I've forgotten where it was and I would spend 20 minutes trying to find that damn pencil, right? So the answer isn't buying 2000 pencils. That would be crazy.
00:47:05
Speaker
But in the meantime, going through like this spiral of frustration, annoyance and shaming. Like what the hell? Why can't I remember or why can't I just like put it in one place?
00:47:20
Speaker
And I've tried it. I've tried like, okay, Paul, put the pencil in a place where you know, you're always going to find it or, um, or classic for the, I'll do, I'll go to Amazon and buy a tool belt for $300. You know, that would solve it. It's beautiful belt though.
00:47:46
Speaker
All right. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, whatever strategies I come up with has never worked for me. Right. I think. Yeah, it's it's that concert. So for that pencil thing, I do the same thing. Right. And I what I try and do is is I try and go. I will always keep this pencil here.
00:48:11
Speaker
Right. Behind your ear. Right. Well, somewhere, like I will try and go. I'll just always put a pencil here or it'll always go in my pocket or it'll always go behind me. It's something right on this shelf, whatever it is. I'll just try and put it there. Yeah. And maybe by sheer habit. Yeah. It will, it will be there, but yeah. I mean, it's like hiding again.
00:48:38
Speaker
right yeah the next one which i quite like which which which i do do is the clear and transparent storage so you know like okay yeah so we have a lot of stuff in in storage bins which sit in our basement area and they're all transparent so i can see what's in them
00:49:03
Speaker
right right and and yes right because ADHD is of we're very we like to see things and one of the reasons why we're quite messy is because we like
00:49:20
Speaker
it's this thing of which we haven't talked about which is object in permanence where if you can't see it it disappears and doesn't exist and you forget about it so
00:49:35
Speaker
we like to have things out so we can see it. So we remember it's there. We're very, you know, especially probably like, like, we're very visual people, right? So we take a snapshot of my visual memories is just off the scale. Yeah. Right. So do you, do you think, you know, if you did lose your keys, do you, in your mind, you're looking at a picture of,
00:50:05
Speaker
a picture of where your keys are and you can see in that picture yeah where things are yeah i do yeah so and i think that's why i mean i'm just looking at your room which is probably like my room we have we have everything out we like things out we like to see things
00:50:25
Speaker
What you can see here, well, she's not on the podcast, but her interest is chaos, but I like it.
Comfort in Visual Clutter
00:50:32
Speaker
I get, I get a kind of strange comfort from having lots of stuff around me. I can't do minimal. I can't do that. I like the idea of being minimal, you know, having one, two pair of jeans, five pairs of pants, you know, like maximal. Yeah. I'm a maximal.
00:50:51
Speaker
That's where we're at. Right. Because as I said, being able to see things makes your brain work less. Yeah. But then I know that even if, I think we've spoken about this before, even if if I start a new project I'm working on, because I work from home as you do, if I start on a new project, especially if it's a big one, an important one, I clear, I tidy up.
00:51:21
Speaker
It's just like, for me, that has to be like, if my desktop is clear, then I can clear my mind and be ready for starting something new. Never during a project, chaos during a project, but starting.
00:51:37
Speaker
Yeah, no, I do the same thing. It's almost like a ritual to get into the right headspace to actually focus on something, isn't it? Yeah. It's very ritualistic. Oh, yeah, no, I like doing that. You know, and then you end up like it can easily turn into procrastination when you clean your desk and then you go, oh, let me just clear the room as well. Yeah. And you end up doing the room and then you end up
00:52:06
Speaker
cleaning everything and not doing what you're supposed to be doing. Yeah, it's strange because I yeah, I'm such a flipper. I'm such a flipper. I like chaos and I get even some comfort I find in chaos. But at the same time, at a certain point, I also like to clear up as well. And I like, you know, take pleasure. Yeah, it's totally random. In fact, drives my girlfriend crazy.
00:52:35
Speaker
what the the that you have these impulses to suddenly just she can't tie me down to like i'll just end that sentence there she can't tie me down no um she she can't tie me down to like okay paul why can't he just do it like every monday morning and every thursday afternoon and i'll give you a list you know she's we're on about the fourth list it's pretty much the same list every time you know
00:53:02
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't tie me down, by the way. That's just a comic effect. I know. You know what? The thing I've found works best for me, at least, is you attach a habit onto another habit.
00:53:25
Speaker
So you don't have a habit that's just floating out there without it being anchored. So for example, the only way I get up in the morning and do everything is because there is a set sequence of things that I do. So I'll get up and then I'll go downstairs and then I'll feed Eddie, I'll get his drugs and then I'll
00:53:51
Speaker
then I'll go and put the kettle on, then I'll go upstairs, then I'll go in the bathroom, then I'll come out of the bathroom, then I'll make my tea, then I'll take the dog out. So once you've done one thing, there is something to do next. So if I want a new habit or something to do on a Monday, for example, I will have to find something that happens on a Monday that I attach it to
00:54:21
Speaker
So it's like, right, once I've done this thing, then I will get the list and I will do something off of that list. So habits only work if you, well, I find that they only work if you actually stick them to something else.
00:54:46
Speaker
right like yeah name it to a post all right so here's a personal one right i'm not very good about brushing my teeth i'm bad about brushing my teeth um tick and the only way i've found to actually
00:55:08
Speaker
And the thing about ADHD is that research has shown that we have bad dental hygiene, by the way. So this is just part of it. Is that every time I go into the bathroom where my toothbrush is, I have to brush my teeth.
00:55:26
Speaker
And that doesn't so it doesn't matter. So if I go to toilet and after I have to brush my teeth afterwards, if I if I'm in that room and I look at the sink, I have to brush my teeth. And so that may mean I brush my teeth like three times a day, four times a day, or I might use the downstairs toilet and only and I'll brush my teeth that day. But at least my teeth are getting brushed more than they were.
00:55:57
Speaker
Oh no. Oh, it's me. Dang it.
00:56:22
Speaker
Here we go. Sorry, mate. Lost connection. So yeah, so your prompter is every time you go into the bathroom, you have to clean your teeth. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And it works. I can see the logic. It works better. And you spend less of the dentist.
00:56:47
Speaker
Yeah, because yeah, yeah, it's not great. No, that's okay. You know, it's Yeah, I'm still I'm still working this stuff out with with with with the help of my girlfriend to helping her to help me.
00:57:07
Speaker
Right. Because she doesn't get it, you know, at the moment and why should she? It's early doors. Just in case someone's like jumping into podcasts, you know, at podcast number 10, you haven't heard anything else. I was
00:57:24
Speaker
diagnosed, like what was it, six weeks ago now. So yeah, still learning and yeah, I'm still way off on even starting on that, on that stuff. I think that's what I like about this is that I'm a few years in and you're new and fresh. So there's two different perspectives there, which, which I kind of like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:57:49
Speaker
All right. So the other thing, so the next thing on the list of things that help us to help not lose things is, you know, those.
00:58:03
Speaker
those little bits of using tech, like, um, I think they're called like Apple. The Apple has one that, um, like air tags or tiles. Yeah. Air tags. I know that. Right. Yeah. My, my wife has a bunch, um, that she puts in her luggage when she goes anywhere. But, you know, you can have, I've had that hack as well. Even if they put an air tag in your luggage. Yeah.
00:58:33
Speaker
on your on your on your dog um you know so they can they they can help for sure if you've got a slow dog like like Eddie you know
00:58:49
Speaker
Yeah. How far is he going to get? How far is he going to get? Not, not very far. He's like 13. Bless him. Little short legs as well. He's got little short legs. He's, he's, he's old. He doesn't walk very, very, very far. Right. Reluctantly as well. Like bulldogs are kind of reluctant walkers.
00:59:11
Speaker
No, no, he likes, he, he likes his, his, his walks. He's just, okay. I just can't go for, yeah. Because I like going for walks with my dog, right? I love it. I can go walking. You know, it used to be that he could walk quite, quite fast. We'd walk around the neighborhood, we'd talk to people along the way. It was great.
00:59:36
Speaker
Yeah, I love I love my dog. My dog's been a lifesaver for me. Yeah, another episode about ADHD and dogs be nice, right? You're gonna have to cover for me for like 10 seconds while I open the door because he's scratching to get in. Is he? Yeah. Yeah, he wants to be on the popper. I think I'll just
01:00:01
Speaker
No, I'm not going to sing. That's it's the police to do the song anymore. One way you're not going to get you. There we go. I'm going to get you get you get you get you. One way or another. And probably lastly on on on the list is one thing that you mentioned earlier, which is about making lists.
Organizing Tasks with ADHD
01:00:28
Speaker
You know that thing of yeah, I've got 20 things to do and rather than Relying on your brain to remember them all because they won't you go. Let me just write them down Somewhere on a on a phone on your phone on a piece of paper That I find
01:00:52
Speaker
clears up my mind so that my mind can stop worrying about trying to remember it because I've got it. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. What I've learned is at the very this is before I was diagnosed, I had to do it. I had to break down the list. It's like for me, the worst thing I could do is just do this like ridiculously long list, you know, you know,
01:01:17
Speaker
So I set it by priority and I set it sometimes day by day.
01:01:24
Speaker
I look at the list and I write a new list and the new list based on what I'm going to do that day. Otherwise, I just end up doing nothing at all. I have to break it down. That's cool. I like that. When you said breaking down a list, it did make me think of
01:01:50
Speaker
you could have something on your list. I'm just trying to think of an example. So for example, it could be a repair shed, right? Right. But actually, you have to break that down into a whole bunch of... Yeah, it's like if I know that I've got to go to the hardware store,
01:02:17
Speaker
first. Right, you know, because otherwise, otherwise, you'd like go to the shed, you don't mess around, like, do, and then you realize, you can't really do it efficiently at all. Or you can only do it like, like, half heartedly, or just budget. I think, okay, so you could like lists like, okay, I need to go to supermarket today, and it's next to the hardware shop, which will make my job doing the shed easier, you know,
01:02:43
Speaker
right and less you have to buy 2000 pencils so don't lose a pencil yeah yeah so yeah all the things on your list uh yeah but this list of lists is break them down break them down break them down actually because it does help when you actually look at something like repairing your shed and i like you're saying you you've got to get materials and supplies and you think about it then
01:03:11
Speaker
you realise how big or how much time that task is really going to take, right? So it helps being a little bit more, being a bit more realistic about the time. But also, you know, like going back to that mezzanine that I was building.
01:03:29
Speaker
it just what should have been like what I sometimes really miss. And I like the conversation I have in my head about around that kind of stuff like, Oh, Paul, why can't you just like, be composed? That composed is like the word that pops up has popped up in my in my head for years like Paul, like craving composure.
01:03:54
Speaker
you know, why can't I just do like, you see, you see other people working and they slowly, methodically with pride and it's calm and they're enjoying it. And me, I'm like, oh man, I'm half the time going crazy because I can't find a damn pencil, you know,
01:04:17
Speaker
And what's the noise is I love working with words and I love constructing things, you know, so just really annoying. And the only time I could really enjoy it is because it's like, oh, it's finished. It's like, oh, wow, that looks good. But I'd like to be able to enjoy the process more. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying, yeah. Yeah. Because I kind of relate to that.
01:04:44
Speaker
Sometimes it's just, I guess, the more you do something, the more it gets to be that way, right? Yeah, but do you have composure? Do I have composure?
01:05:01
Speaker
Sounds like with the beginning of a drug had in the States. OK, do I have composure? You know what I think? Do you need life insurance? I think from the outside, you know, like how you were saying about what how things look on the outside versus the inner turmoil going on on the inside. Yeah, yeah. I sometimes feel like if I, you know, when I'm building something or doing something, it could look like
01:05:31
Speaker
I was composed and where it was inside, it's more jumbled. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. I've had at least a couple of girlfriends and an ex-wife who used to take joy from and they would tell me, they loved watching me work. Yeah. That bizarre. Just thought of that.
01:05:57
Speaker
It's not bizarre. Because they saw composure. They obviously saw something, you know. I don't think they saw Paul, you know, going out of his fucking mind and taking joy from that. That would be not assisting. Yeah, I mean nuts. Yeah. So here's the thing. I've got a thing to bolt onto the end.
01:06:25
Speaker
All right. Bolt away. Bolt away. Here's the thing, when I'm on it, if I'm really in the middle of a project, you know, in terms of my work or a personal project or something like that, and I'm really on it, and I'm like, like, really, like,
01:06:46
Speaker
focus and concentrated on it. Here's the thing, I generally don't forget stuff in those moments. It's like my work, all or nothing. And when it's all, when I'm in that state, I generally don't forget stuff. You know? That's the non-problem area. Like when we're hyper-focused on something, you know, like,
01:07:15
Speaker
Yeah, we are on it. It's unbelievable. The stuff that we can do is incredible. And your output can be, you know, you can get so much stuff done when you're on it.
01:07:29
Speaker
And I guess there's less time and space for that the shaving part of each stuff time space for it. There's a great thing that Jane Horrocks is a brilliant English comedy actress. She worked she did some work with on app with absolutely fabulous with
01:07:47
Speaker
Um, Dawn fab of this show. Yeah. Yeah. She was on it. Jane Horrocks. She had OCD. And, um, and then she got to a point, I mean, it was quite bad. And then she became a mum and she said that the OCD disappeared because she didn't have time to be OCD. All right. Which is a really cool.
01:08:11
Speaker
You know, she's like looking after her kids to become a mum. It's like the OCD disappeared in that time of her life. All right. There you go. Yeah. Okay. Bolting up something there. All right. Is there, is there anything else that you want to add before we wander off down to the post office?
01:08:36
Speaker
Oh, we're already going long on this again. I know. I have to say that I actually only have time to do one podcast now. Oh, really? I'm afraid. Yeah. OK. That's OK. I can go make a curry and whatever. There we go. There we go. All right. So let's get back into the mayor's car and make our way to the post office.
01:09:10
Speaker
I like that sound. I like that sound. So this is where we say, your feedback is vital to us, it says here. We'll be reading almost all of your comments and we'll include a regular featurette on our future podcast with a pick and mix of our faves. Our discretion is almost as important as Martin's grooming regime. And we'll always be careful to ask before sharing your comments. So please subscribe and interact. Please, please, please.
01:09:40
Speaker
Oh great perfect. All right well that just remains for me to hit that the the the outro button wait for that music to kick in
01:09:54
Speaker
This is where my head just like instantly does this. And yours too? I feel those vibes. Yeah, no, as every week we dance our way out of the podcast. I was saying, thanks for being here. Check out these show notes. We sometimes put links in there. Visit us on YouTube, Facebook, Tik Tokis. In the meantime, send us an email.
01:10:21
Speaker
Oh, for God's sake, someone. Someone. Yeah, someone. For God's sake. Yeah. The fucking county is of... Yeah. Ciao! Ciao for now. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. There, says the mayor. That's that.