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144 - The Haunted Mansion (2003)
77 Plays1 year ago
"I see dead people…"
This week, with a new Haunted Mansion film dropping in theaters, we're taking the first attempt to turn the theme park ride into its own franchise, complete with talk about Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Tilly, and the wildly inconsistent lore surrounding the ride!
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Transcript
Introduction and Show Setup
00:00:21
Speaker
I'll sing one for you.
00:00:24
Speaker
Welcome foolish mortals. We are the grim gritting ghosts of the disenfranchised podcast, that podcast all about those franchises of one, those films that fancy themselves full fledged franchises before falling flat on their face after the first film. I am your host, Stephen Foxworthy, and joining me, as always, it's my co-host, Mr. Brett Wright. Brett, how are you? Thank you for coming out to socialize.
00:00:49
Speaker
Hello, Steven, is this podcast actually stretching? I think it might. Just your imagination. Well, I mean, we do get we do tend to get pretty long winded. And I have a feeling there's going to be some lore dumps in this episode so that we might be stretching today. Oh, so God, both our time and our audience is patience. Oh, the lore. Fucking the lore.
00:01:17
Speaker
I'll get into it later. Well, that's why we had to have you for this one, man. We we had to make sure we could record when you would be on because me and this other guy, we don't know the lore. And hey, who is this other guy?
Meet the Hosts: Tucker Joins the Conversation
00:01:29
Speaker
Why? It's our other co-host Tucker. Hey, Tucker. Hi, it's me, Tucker. How's everyone doing today? We're we are we're doing well. How about yourself, sir? Feeling good, feeling great, feeling great, feeling good. How are you, Brett?
00:01:46
Speaker
I am also tired. Nice. Wonder what that's like. Well, when you're as heavily caffeinated as you seem to be right now, I don't think it's as much of an issue. No, that's that's just pure piss and vinegar. That's not caffeine. That's just you're under caffeine caffeinated. So I'm working on it. I'm working on it.
00:02:12
Speaker
It's just your boy and his natural state. Actually, I did have my V8 energy a couple hours ago, but caffeine doesn't really... I don't know. I'm just so naturally hyper that it doesn't really matter. Yeah. What's that like? That's the interesting thing. That's what I want to know about. It's exhausting without being exhausting. Okay. Sounds fun. Mentally taxing, but physically... To be what, Brett?
00:02:39
Speaker
to be thin and healthy. That's what I was going to say. Well, I don't know if either of those things really describe me these days, but I'm at least. I'm upright and breathing. Hey, that counts for something, which is more than we can say for all the good girls in this movie.
Episode Topic: 2003 Haunted Mansion Movie
00:03:00
Speaker
Oh, speaking of what, what a segue. Yes, I did it.
00:03:08
Speaker
We are here as we always are to talk about a movie that did not get a sequel that was clearly angling for one. And Brett, what are we covering today and why? In honor of the release of the new Haunted Mansion movie, we're going to cover the old Haunted Mansion movie from 2003.
00:03:30
Speaker
From 2003, the Rob Minkoff directed The Haunted Mansion, starring Eddie Murphy, Terence Stamp, Nathaniel Parker, Marsha Thomason, Jennifer Tilly, Wallace Shawn, Dina Spivey, Ari Davis, Mark John, Jeffries, Deep Roy, Jeremy Howard, Corey Burton, Rachel Harris, and the Dapper Dans.
Cast Critique and Eddie Murphy's Performance
00:03:57
Speaker
What a cast, gentlemen.
00:04:00
Speaker
What a what a picture. I mean, most of the cast. Well, the ghost half of the cast. Great. Other half of the cast. So much the living side of the cast. Maybe not so great.
00:04:14
Speaker
Hmm. I thought that Wallace Sean was laying it on a little too thick, but I was still impressed by his performance. But yeah, I was Sean overdoing something. Really? Well, I know. Right. I know. It's pretty normal. Still, I agree with you, Brett, like the the family. I don't give a shit about any of them. I'm pretty sure Eddie Murphy, like, had his stunt double call in. Like, that's his performance in this movie. Like, he's barely there. And I actively Murphy.
00:04:43
Speaker
I actively hated Eddie Murphy's character. Let's do the Eddie Murphy of it because this is 2003 Eddie Murphy. So this is Eddie Murphy on his second decline.
00:05:00
Speaker
beginning, I would say, his second decline. He is still a pretty huge star. He is a huge star in the 80s and then starts a decline probably shortly after coming to America. He starts to dip down a little bit. He directs the film Harlem Nights and then tries to recover with a sequel to 48 Hours called Another 48 Hours. Which is great. Just saying I like that movie. The first one was hard for me to watch. I'm not going to lie.
00:05:30
Speaker
The casual racism of the first 48 hours was rough. I will say that's just how it was back then. I'm not defending it, but it's just like the LA Confidential book, man. That's what it be like back then. Doesn't mean I have to like it. Agreed. I completely understand that.
00:05:47
Speaker
After that, he does Boomerang, The Distinguished Gentlemen, Beverly Hills Cop 3, the worst of that series by a long shot, and the West Craven film, Vampire in Brooklyn, before kind of rebounding with the Nutty Professor in 96. After that, he's on a pretty good upswing. 98, he's got Mulan and Dr. Doolittle, as well as the kind of forgotten film, Holy Man.
00:06:14
Speaker
of the
00:06:29
Speaker
very underrated, kind of very underrated. Yeah. Life I don't know. Holy Man Life and Bowfinger. I think he gives wonderful performances in all three of those movies. And it's a shame that he didn't keep doing stuff like that.
00:06:45
Speaker
I do love bowfinger I have not seen life I know about life and I've heard that life is actually a lot darker than a lot of people realized at the time which is part of why it didn't do very well
00:07:02
Speaker
But then we, so we have this kind of like, this middling received things. And then we do, he kind of returns to the well. He does Nutty Professor 2 and Dr. Doolittle 2, going back to his previous hits. But then in between those two, there's a little voice role that he did, probably recorded many years before for a little film called Shrek, which kind of becomes the juice in his veins for a while.
00:07:30
Speaker
He creates and voices the main character on the PJs. And then it's pretty sharp decline. It's Showtime, it's the Adventures of Pluto Nash, and it's I Spy all in 2002. All three of those. 2003 gives us Daddy Daycare and this film, The Haunted Mansion. And after this,
00:07:53
Speaker
He pretty much sticks to Shrek movies with the occasional dip back into live action. He does get an Oscar nomination for Dreamgirls, which he is insanely good in. Yes. And then you also got Norbit and Meet Dave and Imagine That, which between those three, they pretty much kind of kill off
00:08:14
Speaker
most of his live action career for the foreseeable future until honestly, he kind of makes a turnaround in Dolomite Is My Name just a few years ago. And people see that and they're like, oh, Eddie Murphy's back. Phenomenal. I remember in the 40th S&L anniversary thing that they did, it being a very big deal that he was coming back to that or it was the 50th. Like it was a very big deal. The fact he was going to be there.
00:08:42
Speaker
for that. And then he didn't want to do the thing that they wrote for him. So he ended up just coming out and Chris Rock talked about how great he was. And then he came out and went, hey, everyone like the show? Well, let's get back to the show. That was pretty much that was pretty much it. Can I go a little further into that?
Eddie Murphy's Career and SNL Return
00:09:00
Speaker
Please, please. So the thing that they wanted him to do was make a brief cameo as Bill Cosby, making a joke about
00:09:08
Speaker
drugging a woman's drink in the celebrity jeopardy segment. The role the part eventually went to Keenan Thompson. Yeah, yeah. It was one of the like the video video clues or whatever, where a celebrity comes. And yeah, he didn't want to do that, but he was. He had such a good time there anyway, he had kind of been afraid to go back because the way things ended there.
00:09:35
Speaker
But because of the 40th anniversary episode or special, that's the only reason we got him back three seasons ago, hosting for the first time. Right. And it was amazing. Well, for the first time since he was on the show, because as Chris Rock says, Chris or Eddie hosted the show while he was on the show, which was unheard of. Yeah, still. Even now, nobody does that. He's the only person who's ever done that. Yeah.
00:10:05
Speaker
So, yeah, so for the first time since he was actually on the show and he revisits a lot of his old characters, Mr. Robinson, Gumby, like, which is exactly what you want. That's that's what velvet velvet Jones comes back. Oh, that's right. So, yeah, it's it actually is a pretty good episode. But yeah, Eddie Murphy is in his decline here. And I think it's pretty obvious that this is Eddie in decline because this is not a strong project.
00:10:34
Speaker
And the fact that this comes out the same year as Pirates of the Caribbean, The Curse of the Black Pearl is what really gets me. Because this movie looks like it probably came out either a few years earlier or was made for TV. Like this does not feel like a 2003 movie. It feels like a 98 movie. It feels a lot like the Tower of Terror TV special. Like there's just like, you know, it doesn't
00:11:05
Speaker
It doesn't have any substance. I didn't care about anything that was happening. It felt very much like just popcorn film. I don't got to care. I'm just going to eat my popcorn and watch this and maybe chuckle a couple of times. I don't know. I didn't, but maybe somebody did.
00:11:27
Speaker
this
Haunted Mansion Lore and Fan Theories
00:11:45
Speaker
There was so much potential, and they squandered it, and it just makes me sad. So let's actually, while we're kind of in this vein, let's talk about our histories with the haunted mansion proper. Brett, I'll go ahead and let you go first, because I know you probably have. I know some of your history with this properties, and so I would like to hear you talk about your fascination with the haunted mansion for a little bit.
00:11:48
Speaker
is
00:12:13
Speaker
Yeah, because it is definitely a fascination. So I am the resident haunted mansion expert, and that's why I'm on here. Well, you're also on here because you're co-host of the show. Well, yeah. But I mean, why are you specifically? We finagle the recording day so that we could find a way to make sure your schedule worked, right? Yes. Because I don't know if you listeners out there have noticed. I haven't been on a whole lot lately. Life finds a way. Schedules are hard, especially when you work nights now.
00:12:43
Speaker
But anyway, so yeah, but I will preface everything I say with this caveat, and please don't come for me, haunted mansion lovers. I've never actually ridden the ride. No, I know. I'm clutching my pearls. I'm sure a lot of automatic fans probably just did. Who the fuck is this guy that's ought to be an expert when he hasn't even ridden the ride? Not in person, no. But I've watched plenty of videos of a rider.
00:13:11
Speaker
It probably counts. It counts, right? It counts enough. I don't know. I just never looked. We had money when I was a kid to travel to Ohio the next day over.
00:13:27
Speaker
and go to Kings Island. Kings Island like a mofo, absolutely. We certainly never had enough money to go down to Disney. Fuck no. So I was always jealous of those kids. So I haven't gotten to ride the rides I've always wanted to, like Tower of Terror, like The Haunted Mansion, which I mean, I apparently really need to get on
00:13:49
Speaker
writing Tower of Terror because they got rid of the one in California. Yeah. Only a matter of time before the one in Florida goes to the days are numbered, I'm sure. Now that Galaxy's Edge has moved down to Orlando, it's only a matter of time before Avengers Tower clears out the clears out the Tower of Terror. Yeah. So I need to get down there sooner rather than later. Hopefully over the next couple of years. I mean, it's they didn't turn that one into a Guardians of the Galaxy in Florida. Not yet. Oh.
00:14:17
Speaker
I'm sure they will, I'm positive it's coming. It's only a matter of time. Once Avengers campus gets moved down there, it probably will. But anyway, I would say that there was a Haunted Mansion ripoff ride at Kings Island called Phantom Theater. Phantom Theater? I do remember the Phantom Theater, yeah. That's the one you got on after the water park to dry off, because it had the big furnace at the end.
00:14:44
Speaker
Yeah, that took over the Smurf ride that was there when I was a kid, which was also where it's a small world, but with Smurfs. Right. It was also where you would take the the gals you met there to straight up hold their hands and like make out with them and stuff. Yeah, also true. Not that I ever did any of that, but yeah, you know, I called them. We called them Kings Island girlfriends. You only had one. I was never attractive. I was never attractive enough for that. So yeah, I never did any of that.
00:15:12
Speaker
Yeah, I was too concerned with like riding rides and having a good time than like, you know, macking on the ladies.
00:15:19
Speaker
Hey, that's what you do in line, ding dong. It doesn't it doesn't matter what you're focused on. That's what you do in line. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not the, you know, words failing me. I can't even. It's early drink some coffee. It's really good. It's OK. I'll just pretend you said something really clever and that I'm really good. Thank you. Damn it. You got me. Oh, man.
00:15:43
Speaker
Oh, so you don't have a comeback for that now, do you? You don't have a fucking Casanova was the name I was looking for. I prefer Don Juan. Bossa Nova Chevy Nova. Excellent. None of the above anyway. So Phantom Theater being a honored mansion ripoff right. You know.
00:16:09
Speaker
when I would later see the Haunted Mansion and see that it was much better production quality and a lot more better designed. Sort of like my love for Haunted Mansion and Phantom Theater nostalgia sort of mixed with one another. And so I just sort of became obsessed with Haunted Mansion.
00:16:34
Speaker
That's pretty much it, really. I know most of the lore has disconnected and confusing and not consistent as it is. I was going to say, you are an admitted lore fiend. You do love you some lore. So I know that that has probably played a big role in your love for this particular property, because there is a lot of lore here. Yes, it's a love and hate relationship in that sense, because I mean, a lot of it is fan created, because Disney
00:17:04
Speaker
never really came out and like released any official stuff. You know, we have comic books and novels and like design documents. And we've got a couple movies. If we're if we're counting Muppets Haunted Mansion, we have a couple movies. The new one makes three. Right.
00:17:31
Speaker
And so it's all just kind of disjointed and doesn't make a whole lot of sense in the comics. They took the whatever the other big franchise does nowadays. It's a multiverse route so that all of it is canon and none of it is canon at the same time. Right. And also there's.
00:17:52
Speaker
you know, different different mansions across the world. Right. Which which is my my take on how you sequelize this movie because. And I think if they had done well, they absolutely would have sequelized it again. This comes out the same year as Pirates like you you just moved to a different mansion. Right. And I mean, most of them. Like the one
00:18:16
Speaker
The one in France isn't much different. The one in Japan isn't much different. All the characters have different names, but the story is the same. I'll get into all the lore later. The one in China, I always forget which one is in a haunted mansion. It's the Mystic Mansion.
00:18:38
Speaker
I was going to say probably China, because ghosts like horror movies don't are the kind of the one thing that doesn't take advantage of the Chinese box office because of their relationship with the dead. That would be a ghost. Ghosts are outlawed in China. They're against the law. Yeah. So which means that if you die in China, you die in real life. Yeah. Yeah. The police will come get you if you come back as a ghost. Correct. Who are you going to call Chinese police? There's a station like in San Francisco, so they're real close.
00:19:09
Speaker
Good to know. So, yeah, so that that mansion is completely, completely different. There are no ghosts. It feels more like an Indiana Jones ride. Right. That tracks which deals with the other. I can never like the Adventurers Guild or something like that that exists in the background lore of Disney. Like, that's another thing. There's a whole.
00:19:32
Speaker
Adventurers Guild that ties into a bunch of different rides Jungle Cruise, I think is part of it. Yeah, that sort of thing So that's a whole other Disney lore background lore that they never really acknowledge but it's there. Mm-hmm Disney's weird like that but You know because it is what it is, I don't know if they would have done that sequel wise but it's an idea But anyway, that's my history I think
00:20:02
Speaker
I think that's everything. All right. Probably. Sorry, I've never actually ridden the ride, everybody. I know a lot about it. I've actually been to Disney and I've never ridden the ride because when I visited, I was a very young child. And as I've noted many times in this podcast, a coward. So if my parents had wanted to take me on that ride, and I'm not sure that they would have, I would not have gone on it. It was not until my late teens that even attempted Phantom Theater at Kings Island.
00:20:32
Speaker
Oh yeah, funny story. I mean, the first time I ever wrote Phantom Theater, I was clinging to my dad's arm like I was going to die. So there was a time. There was a time, even young Brett was a fear to the ghosties. Yeah, but I do acknowledge the Phantom Theater is one of the original things that like
00:20:55
Speaker
one of those formative, what everybody nowadays calls canon events, thanks, across the Spider-Verse, or if that like made me love horror, so. Okay, right on. And Tucker, what is your history with the Haunted Mansion? Hi, hello there, it's me, Tucker. Here's my history with the Haunted Mansion. When I was a young boy,
00:21:19
Speaker
Uh, probably about 12 years old or so we went to the Disney worlds. Um, and it was pretty rad and I rode the haunted mansion and it was pretty rad. Um, uh, but I don't.
00:21:34
Speaker
I'm pretty indifferent about the whole thing. I think it's cool. I enjoyed the ride when I wrote it, and I think it's cool that it exists, and I'm glad that it has a thriving fandom. I just do not really count myself as part of that group. That's not to say that I'm against it or that I hate it. I just don't really care either way, which I think was probably a really good way to go into this film.
00:21:57
Speaker
It was fun to watch all the moments that you could tell were like meant to be like big things for people who are fans of the ride. And I'm like, that's a big thing. And I I don't have any context for it, but I'm glad it's here. And the people who like this, they're seeing this and they think it's rad. It's so obvious when they do that in the movie, because it's things will seem so out of place yet so spotlighted, spotlight, you know.
00:22:22
Speaker
Yeah, there's there's definitely like a specificity that doesn't exist within like and I get I feel like parts of the Caribbean is going to be a really good touchpoint comparison for us this episode because it comes out the same year and it succeeds or the Haunted Mansion fails. Like it actually does end up getting the sequels and the franchise built out of it.
Haunted Mansion vs. Pirates of the Caribbean
00:22:43
Speaker
But also Gore Verbinski is a much better filmmaker than Rob Minkoff, who's the director of this film. And so Gore Verbinski has a sense of subtlety. All the references to Pirates of the Caribbean, they're rarely front-loaded. Most of them are kind of existing in the background, which I think is
00:23:05
Speaker
the right way to do it because it feels like this movie at times will go out of its way to try to like shoehorn in a thing just because it's iconography from the ride, which I think is the mistake. Yeah, I even have a note because I had notes for this movie because of course I did. Oh, yeah. 90% of this movie could not be called The Haunted Mansion and nothing would change. The other 10% are nothing but Leo pointing me. Yeah.
00:23:32
Speaker
Yeah, that's it. That's what it says. It's like they wrote out all the things they wanted to reference in the script and I go, OK, now let's build a story around all these references. And then they put most of them in like just the scene where they're driving through the cemetery in the coach. Yeah, most of them are most most of all of that is just shoehorned into that one scene. Now, obviously, there are a few things here and there outside, but that that is your most ghost dense scene. Just that one pretty much that entire sequence from like from the point.
00:24:02
Speaker
From the point he says there's always my way, which I'll die, that really pissed me off, to the end of when they get to the mausoleum. That entire thing is just one big reference. And it's references to things that aren't even in the graveyard.
00:24:19
Speaker
Like the two guys dueling are in the ballroom. So I don't know why they put them in the graveyard, but it's because they just they had to shove them in there somewhere. Right. Exactly. There was a list of things they had to include. Yeah, well.
00:24:35
Speaker
Yeah, it's like it was like the the two bits of fan service that I hated in The Flash were the two callback Michael Keaton lines. And it felt like that. This that part of this movie felt like that because in The Flash, like I really enjoyed it. But you could tell somebody was like, all right, Michael Keaton needs to say this and this. We don't care where you put it. It just has to be in there. Yeah. And you can tell that nobody wanted to put it in there. They were just like, I guess it fits here.
00:25:02
Speaker
And that's why they put your boys out in the graveyard. Cause they're like, I don't, what do we do with this? We don't have anything written for this. So I guess we'll just throw them here. I guess this is good. They're there, right? Yay. Yeah. Because that in the scene where he's walking down to the picture hallway, the portrait hallway with the bus, the following, that's just one big reference. I didn't mind that one because it is in the background. It's creepy setting. It sort of fit that part of the movie, but.
00:25:30
Speaker
And it's not so lamp shaded that we're like, oh, I mean, you can tell, oh, this is something that is is part of the ride that people would recognize. But it's not they don't go out of their way to draw attention to it. It's just it's part of the scene. And it works. Yeah. Stephen, what's your history with the ride? I wasn't done, though. Oh, you weren't? No, you guys started talking and like I never got back to what I was saying.
00:25:59
Speaker
You went on the ride and liked it and you're indifferent to the whole thing. What more is there to say? Right. I wanted to talk for a minute about Phantom Theater. I want to put my two cents in about that, my friend. Oh, all right. Well, my bad. My bad. Phantom Theater is the shit. I was very, very disappointed when they removed it. But something that's really great about Kings Island is that
00:26:22
Speaker
It's it's kind of fan service for people who have been going to that theme park their entire lives. Kings Island all throughout that park has references to shit that like unless you were there 20 years ago, you have no idea what it is.
00:26:38
Speaker
And they have props from Phantom Theater all over that park, including within the new ride that's in that building. There are props from the original Phantom Theater. Just like the gravestone for Son of Beast. Just like Top Gun being turned into the bat. Like everything is a little reference to people who have been going to the park all their lives. And that's something I really like about that park. Something I want to say that has to do with the Haunted Mansion and Phantom Theater. I'm a huge theme park guy, but I much prefer
00:27:08
Speaker
the ones that are not Disney or Universal. I prefer like just regular old theme parks. And I feel like I was spoiled as a child because Kings Island is. I think the biggest and the best and the best ran park that is not owned by Disney or Universal in the United States. Cedar Point would like a word. Yeah, Cedar Point is close.
00:27:37
Speaker
but they did not get that cigar. They're still chasing it. Kings Island still wins. Also, Holiday World and Splashin' Safari would also like a word. I'm sorry. Holiday World and Splashin' Safari is on a different tier, so you can't really compare the two. Fair. Kings Island's up in the S tier. Holiday World, no matter how good it is, right around B, just because of the size and location.
00:27:58
Speaker
Yeah. Santa Claus, Indiana. Real ones, no. Right next to Rudolph Lake. Mm-hmm. And if I'm going, if I'm taking a road trip since Natty to go to a theme park, I'm just going to go to Kings Island. Right.
00:28:13
Speaker
So I've never been to Cedar Point. I don't really care to go. I mean, your point, if you like coasters, Cedar Point is your place. I can't fit on a coaster anymore. So I say, damn it. Same. Neither of you can be my coaster buddy. You guys, I need a coaster buddy. I wish I could be. I love your friends, I guess. I love rollercoasters and I can't ride them anymore because I'm too large. I was going to say, find small friends.
00:28:39
Speaker
I have I have the opposite problem. And this really is a problem. I went to last time I went to Kings Island was 2021 and I did two days by myself because fuck everybody else. I want to do what I want to do. The only problem with that is I always have to ride on the front seat of a roller coaster. I refuse to ride anywhere but the front seat of a roller coaster. And that means sometimes I stay in line longer, but that's OK. I get to see and experience everything first.
00:29:05
Speaker
and it's open in front of me. I don't need somebody barfing in front of me and smacking in my face. No, not going to happen. Not to this guy. You'd rather they do it right behind you and go down the back of your neck. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. That's better than in my fucking face. But but.
00:29:21
Speaker
of
00:29:37
Speaker
that's not enough weight to keep that car down. So on every roller coaster that I had to ride by myself in the front seat, it's about 30 times rougher than it would be if I had somebody in that front seat with me to balance the weight out and keep the cart where it needs to be. So what I'm saying is about 60% of the roller coasters that I rode at Kings Island on my last trip were just miserable experiences because they were so rough because I don't weigh enough
00:30:05
Speaker
to comfortably ride in the front seat by myself. God, talk about a first world problem, right? Well, Tucker, next time you take a trip to King's Island, let me know, because I might have lost enough weight in the past couple months, and I might be able to fit on rides again. Oh, I'm way into that, way into. I do have a certain- Except for the racer. The racer is so old that it's made for skinny people. It is. You can't be over like 150 and fit on that ride, so.
00:30:32
Speaker
I read the razor since I was a wee child. Yeah, I will warn you, Brett, I have a very particular order that I have to ride the roller coasters in. Kings Island is a very big deal to me. It's my special place. That's fine. It's my memory palace. So it's it's very special. We'll discuss this more later when it's time to go to Kings Island. And Tucker, before the day is over, Tucker will have procured his Kings Island girlfriend.
00:31:01
Speaker
Yay. It doesn't work as well as an older person, because I can only imagine most of the people that are there that are my age are there with their children and spouse. Hmm.
00:31:14
Speaker
Yeah, I will. I do want to talk to the nostalgia part a little bit before we move on to Stephen's history, because one, if you go to Kings Island during Halloween and you go to the Midway, the Midway section with all the carnival games, at least last time I went, which was a few years ago, to be fair. That's the Coney Island section is what that's called. Yeah. Right. They had they decorated that section with the old animatronics.
00:31:39
Speaker
Oh fucking A. I've never been to the Halloween or the Christmas thing there. I've never been to the Christmas one. The Halloween one is good. And the last two years, they brought it back this year. They have a Phantom Theater show. Hmm. Look it up on YouTube. It is great. It has a lot of references to the ride, if you ever wrote it.
00:32:02
Speaker
And it's basically just like, you know, the usual theme park show that you see. There's musical numbers. There's dancing. It's goofy as fuck. Yeah, sounds like. Yeah. But it's it's great if you're a fan of Phantom Theater. There's a guy that has a big puppet of the legless ghost. He plays. He has a big puppet of the legless ghost. It's a main character. It's real good. Check it out.
00:32:31
Speaker
Cool. I did look it up on YouTube and apparently not only can you watch the 2023 performance in high quality 4K from one month ago. You can also there are several high quality POV ride throughs of the original ride. You want to put out from Kings Island by themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Uploaded by Kings Island proper.
00:32:57
Speaker
I will have to check those out and nostalgia hold that. Because I will tell you the one uploaded by Kings Island itself has it doesn't. So it's a video of the ride, but the soundtrack is isolated. So that way you can hear all of the sounds you were supposed to hear during the ride and not have to try to discern them through the video. Nice. So it sounds like they use the actual ride soundtrack.
00:33:21
Speaker
Yeah, they probably just synced it up. Yeah. Yeah. So that's really awesome. Check that out too. I know. Anyway.
00:33:30
Speaker
I already gave my history for the Haunted Mansion, went to Disney, did not ride the ride. That's it. Oh, that's it? Oh, OK. The fullest extent of my history with this ride, because I didn't ride it. And I didn't see this movie until last night. I think I've probably heard Grim Grinning Ghosts a couple of times. But yeah, I don't really have a lot of knowledge or information about this ride.
00:33:54
Speaker
I do know that during the Christmas season, if you go to Disney during Christmas, they give it a a nightmare before Christmas skin. Only in California. Only in California. OK. Yeah, because I avoided it for a long time because, you know, if I'm going to go ride on a manager for the first time. Sure. It could be the Honda mansion. Right. So I was pissed for the longest time that I could never go during Halloween when I really want to go. Right. But then I somebody informed me
00:34:23
Speaker
Yeah, they don't do that in florida. They only do in california. Oh, well, there you go. So So I can go to disney and enjoy disney halloween themed shit and also write the honor mention So that's the plan eventually maybe next year Okay, fingers crossed. I hope I hope that for you. I want I believe in you I want you to take some remote recording equipment and record your thoughts uh before and immediately following you're writing the haunted mansion because we need those uh
00:34:50
Speaker
Patrons need to hear that remote recording equipment like your cell phone. Yes, that okay You made it sound like he's got like a reel-to-reel like a microphone and what quiet just the one earphone, you know We're reporting live from Universal Studios We're not some fly-by-night organization, yeah, we are fuck it we are Really honestly, I don't need to record it. It'll just be me crying for like 20 There you go
00:35:20
Speaker
In that case, get the video. Brett just sobbing as he gets up. Tears of joy pouring out of my face. Or as Terence Stamp would say, tears of joy. Terence Stamp doing a fucking Boris Karloff impression in this movie.
00:35:44
Speaker
I submit that he was the best part of this film. I mean, it's not like really much competition, but in saying that, I don't want to besmirch his performance because just because everything else sucked in this movie.
00:36:00
Speaker
He's the best part because he was amazing. Yeah, because he was better than everybody else, because it wouldn't be hard to be better than most of the performances in this movie. It feels like he's actually dialed into what this movie is supposed to be trying to do. Agreed.
00:36:18
Speaker
And I think everyone else just is on a completely different page or on several different pages, actually. I thought I thought Nathaniel Parker's performance was pretty good, too. But I think they kind of feed off of each other. So that's just kind of like one little pod of characters and actors. So those two together, I think, create just one. Just that's the the spotlight of the film. That's the tentpole for me of this movie is those two performances and those two characters. Those are the only two characters I gave a shit about.
00:36:45
Speaker
Really, they're the only two characters, you could say, in this movie. It's less out actual characters. Yes. Yeah.
00:36:53
Speaker
So there is a particular story to this film. And I wonder how close the lore that this movie gives to the Haunted Mansion is similar to the lore that is actually built into the ride and that the fans have built up over the years. So I guess, Brett, what I'm trying to say is, explain this to me.
Plot Summary Setup and Heaven vs. Hell Discussion
00:37:13
Speaker
Let's do the plot in 60 first, shall we? Okay. We're gonna talk about the story. Might as well do this first, huh?
00:37:18
Speaker
Touche. Touche. So this is the part of the show where we recount the plot of the film we are discussing. In this case, 2003 is the Haunted Mansion in 60 seconds or less. And in order to determine which of us will be doing that, Brett will roll the D6 of destiny. He will assign two sides to each of us. And then whoever whoever the dice decides will will recount the plot in 60 seconds or less. Brett.
00:37:47
Speaker
Who's what? And give it a roll. Uh, Steven, you'll be wanting to, because you never rode the ride. Steven, you'll be, or Tucker, you'll be three and four because you rode it, but don't care. And, uh, five and six, cause I may not have rode it, but I love it. So here we go.
00:38:01
Speaker
That is a six. Hey, I was hoping it would shake out like this. Yeah. The D six agrees. So I will go ahead and put 60 seconds on the timer. Um, Brett, I'll give you the 30 and the 10 second warnings as we often do, at which point it will be time after that. So whenever you begin, um, I will start the clock.
00:38:26
Speaker
Okay, so Eddie Murphy is a real estate agent and he's a real asshole He doesn't really care about his wife all he cares about his work But he decides to make it up to his wife by saying hey, let's take the kids to the lake like we used to But but then they get a call about needing somebody wanting to sell a big mansion
00:38:44
Speaker
So they decided to take a detour on the way to the lake. They get trapped by a storm. Turns out there's ghosts in this mansion and a nefarious plot to break a curse happens. Turns out, Master Gracie's soon to be bride would kill herself.
00:39:04
Speaker
Um, so everybody gets separated. Um, they have to come back together before he remarries Eddie Murphy's wife, who's actually, that's a lot like the bride. Turns out the bride was murdered. 10 seconds. Um, they, the butler did it. They kill him, kill twice, and then, um, they all go to heaven. The end. And that is time. Uh,
00:39:30
Speaker
Okay, so that is the plot of the movie that we watched today. So Brett, what is the plot of The Ride? Well, real quick, I did have a note that a lot of movies talk about hell and going hell and whatnot. But for the rest of it, it seems like most movies just go pass on to the afterlife. I thought it was a real choice to actually say it was heaven in this movie.
00:39:58
Speaker
And well, that one guy gets taken to hell, right? Remember the one guy gets wrapped in fire and taken to hell? You know, speaking of that, this movie looks like somebody was was a big fan of the Frighteners when they wrote this movie. And like visually, like the ghosts are very similar to the ghosts and the Frighteners and the whole hell sequence reminds me of Johnny Bartlett getting like chomped up and pulled into hell and stuff.
00:40:27
Speaker
That's true. I was reminded of the Frighteners a lot, just like visually, especially like the old mansion thing as well. I mean, I know that comes from the ride, but still, I think a lot of this movie, especially visually, owes a lot to the Frighteners, whether it was intentional or not. And also in the fact that this movie is a roadmap of pain. Of pain, yes.
00:40:48
Speaker
Yes, a roadmap of pain that has nothing to do with the ride or any of its lore whatsoever.
Ride Lore vs. Film Story
00:40:58
Speaker
Except that there's a tragic story about a bride, I guess. So there's two main lines of story for The Unimagined. The first one from its opening until about 2006.
00:41:16
Speaker
I want to say, yes, 2006, is that one of the daughters of Master Gracie, it's been a while, so bear with me. I don't know it as by heart as I do a lot of other lore. One of the daughters of Master Gracie wants to marry essentially the Hatbox Ghost, the human form of the Hatbox Ghost.
00:41:47
Speaker
On their wedding day, she's in her gown. They're about to get married, but they are mysteriously murdered. She is pushed out the attic window and Patty has his head cut off and shoved into a hat box. And that's that story. And that's the beating heart bride who was in the ride up until 2006.
00:42:09
Speaker
who didn't really have much of a form. They just called her the Beating Heart Bride because the main focus of her... I don't know what you call it, because it's not animatronic. It's when they project a thing over a figure. I don't know what that's called. I always forget.
00:42:24
Speaker
I don't remember either, but I know exactly what yeah, you're they there's like a featureless thing and then they project the image over the top of it. Yes. Yeah. That's what would come later with constant hatch away. But hers was an actual animatronic with like a red beating heart. And she was kind of featureless. So that was that was that was that. And but but the hatbox ghost only stuck around for the first year.
00:42:53
Speaker
because they couldn't really get it to work back then. So he disappeared until 2006 when they revamped the mansion and redid the lore, which is a lot darker, actually, surprisingly enough. So this one is about Constance Hatchaway, who was also, I think, a daughter of Master Gracie, I'm not sure.
00:43:23
Speaker
but she was a much more nefarious character. She wanted to marry into money. And when she married into money, she realized, you know what? My husband dies, I get all of his money and I can do this again. So she kills her first husband and proceeds to do that for the next four or five guys. Just cutting them into pieces or hacking their heads off with just a hatchet.
00:43:52
Speaker
Um as one does as one does Um like joe kosak and adams family values. Yep a little bit a little bit More straightforward though, not elaborate ways. Just just a hatchet
00:44:07
Speaker
The simplest ways are the best, a little cleaner, you know? The lore deviates a little bit there. I personally like the lore that the Hatbox Ghost was one of when she would cut off the heads of her husbands, she would stuff them in Hatboxes.
00:44:24
Speaker
and the hat box goes. That's why there's a stack of hat boxes in the attic next to the bride. And all of their hats are literally hanging on a hat tree, so you know there's something else in the boxes. Right. But again, that's something Disney's never said, something that fans made up through context clues. It could absolutely be just a coincidence.
00:44:45
Speaker
But I like that interpretation. It feels logical and it feels like something, it feels like how you skirt around a legitimate horror while not on a kid's ride. Like how you can actually put something really odd and disconcerting on a kid's ride without overtly saying she decapitated these guys and their heads are in these boxes. Cause you can't really say that on a kid's ride.
00:45:08
Speaker
No, no, which is which is weird considering how the ride starts, which I can get into that. There's always my way thing. Why I hated it in this movie, like they couldn't. It's like they show Master Gracie hanging himself at the beginning of the movie. Right. But they take a move for a PG movie. It is all the decapitations in this movie. And it's still PG. Right. Ridiculous. Heads are flying in this motherfucker like they they they defang that a little bit by taking away
00:45:37
Speaker
the second part of that which what makes it so dark is in the original ride when he's talking when you're in the stretching room and the ghost host who is master Gracie or not master Gracie nobody's really sure he just calls himself the ghost host you know you'll see this room has no doors no windows
00:45:57
Speaker
Do you think you can find your way out? If you can, of course, there's always my way. And then when you look up, you look up, there's a scream and you look up and there's a possession of a body hanging in the rafters. That's how he got out. Gotcha. Makes sense. Yeah. Which is like really dark for a Disney ride, but really, they're really cool play on words and like, yeah, really, I like it. It's really cool.
00:46:23
Speaker
So to like separate those two and make it just a throwaway, stupid reference that is maybe the one that's the most in your face in the entire movie. Upsetting, real upsetting. But yeah, so those are the two main storylines. Constance Hatchaway apparently was always in the ride. She's one of the portraits in the stretching room.
00:46:52
Speaker
And they just turned her into a full-fledged story when they revamped the mansion. Gotcha. What else? It's the Tiki Lounge. I get it now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. At the beginning of the movie, they're in the Tiki Lounge. I did. Yeah. I'm just looking at the credits and it says Tiki Lounge guests and I'm like, when were they in the Oh, yeah. Yeah. As soon as I saw that, I'm like, well, this is clearly the haunted Tiki Room. Yeah.
00:47:22
Speaker
That's cool. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. It's just I had that realization, like the light bulb like appeared over my head and exploded. Yeah, no, no. Cheeky lounge, you cheeky dogs. Mm hmm. But I mean, that's that's that's pretty much it in terms of story, like there's none of the story in the movie is anywhere in the ride or has ever been.
Criticism and Adaptation Challenges
00:47:47
Speaker
which is just another one of those situations where like, you know, like I've said with Resident Evil plenty of times, like you have a perfectly good story right there. Yeah, what's the point in making it different? Perfectly good stories right there. And you decide to do something completely different. Right. Why? Doesn't make any sense. Most of the time I can be like, oh, because, you know, they want to make money and they're businessmen. They don't know what the fuck they're talking about. But you have to be like, I don't know how stupid you have to be to be like, oh, you know, instead of
00:48:16
Speaker
this these two stories that millions of people are in love with and come every year to ride this ride multiple times those aren't good enough let's write one that sucks like what's the thought process behind that studio executives you know what leave it in the comments if you're a studio executive leaving the comments why the fuck you do something like that well and again i
00:48:38
Speaker
This is an interesting time because this is Disney really putting a lot of their eggs into the Let's Build movies around our rides. Like we've got these very storied attractions. And again, I feel like Pirates is a really good model, depending on who you ask. And there are definitely some theories about this online. It's never been absolutely verified one way or another, but there is
00:49:06
Speaker
The rumor is that the Pirates of the Caribbean movies are actually based on a script for a video game. Brett, you know which video game I'm talking about? Guy Fourbrush? Fourbush?
00:49:18
Speaker
Oh, Monkey Island. Yes, the Monkey Island video game. And they point to different characters and different concepts as being very similar. Curse of the Monkey. Yeah, that one. But a lot of those elements, they basically took the story that had been developed for that game
00:49:39
Speaker
for that video game movie adaptation and made, basically refitted it into a Pirates of the Caribbean movie because things like ghost pirates are not in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Like so many of the elements of that movie are not in the actual ride. They've been added since, but they weren't a part of the original ride. So you do kind of have to graft a story around these rides where there's nothing really there to graft a story onto, which is an unenviable task.
00:50:06
Speaker
And I can see the desire for a filmmaker to want to impose their own story on something rather than borrow from something that has never been explicitly stated as the lore.
00:50:22
Speaker
I think is kind of their, their thinking behind it, whether that's right or not is up for debate. But I get that that's what they're doing. I just think it's more successful with Pirates of the Caribbean in part because for Binsky is a better filmmaker than Minkoff, but also because you've got
00:50:42
Speaker
you've got an established story that allegedly you're riffing off of, and something that's already been created for that. And you're just, again, switching, like we talked about last week with the Bratz movie, you kind of have this thing that's for another property, and you just graft a property onto the top of it is really kind of how it works. Sure. And I mean, that makes me think that like,
00:51:08
Speaker
Cause I mean, even, even the two stories that I just told you about is not the same as the first original story that they wanted to go with. So like, and I mean, through all of them, there's a tragic story about a bride. So like that really, they could have asked Disney like, Hey, what's the main story going on that we can build off of? And they probably just told them on a tragic story about a bride. That's the central piece of iconography really is the bride.
00:51:36
Speaker
Yeah. From what I, from what I understand. No, yeah, pretty much. Yeah. I mean, the bride is the central character of the mansion. Um, you know, she comes at the end and you go through, you're in the stretching room. You guys are the conservatory into the endless hallway, uh, across the ballroom and the science room or the other way around. And then you go up to the attic. You fall out of the attic window down to the graveyard. So, and the bride is like the main feature near the end of the ride. So. Right.
00:52:07
Speaker
You know, I think the worst part about the, the changing of the story and not making it like the ride at all is the fact that they went with the most predictable
00:52:20
Speaker
trope filled plot that they could think of. Oh, they want the lady there because guess what? She fucking looks like the dead girl. Never seen that one before. Never. Not once. Alfred, he said very sarcastically, making money in his grave. It's like every ghost movie is like, oh, you look like my my dead wife, so you're going to die and be a ghost with me. That's every other ghost movie that comes out.
00:52:46
Speaker
Fuck Bram Stoker, Francis Ford Coppola uses it in Bram Stoker's Dracula. Like, yes, it's so overused and to just be like, you know what, instead of telling these intricate stories that are really fun and the fans love, let's just fucking shit out like the most basic shit. And slap the Haunted Mansion name on it and theme it to the Haunted Mansion a billion dollars. Question mark, profit.
00:53:15
Speaker
Yeah, see, because even talking about this, like, you know, we're talking about how maybe they didn't know, like, you know, that the stories that the fans know are not official stories. But like, the new automation seems to be following the stories just fine. That goes the main scary ghost in all the trailers is the bride is confirmed to be constant that way. The hat box goes seems to be a villain right now, though, and that's a little weird. So maybe that's something there you don't really know.
00:53:45
Speaker
Um, but other than that, I mean, this, they seem to follow the story just fine here. So, and I'm fine with, with changing things in adaptation, because, you know, obviously some things that work on a dark ride don't work cinematically, you know, so you have to change some things. But this shit with this, this movie that we watch, this haunted mansion, it's just unexcusable. There's no fucking reason for it.
00:54:10
Speaker
Yeah, at all. It doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't really work particularly well, I don't think. And it's made even worse by all of the quote unquote riffing that Eddie Murphy is doing that seems completely divorced from the fact that he's in a haunted house movie. Like it's like he just talking about termites, like half of his riffs are like and I understand that's been kind of
00:54:36
Speaker
That's part of the reason you get Eddie Murphy. Like how I'm sure half of the stuff he did on Mulan and Shrek was completely ad-libbed off the top of his head. He's very good at that. But like maybe give him some direction or like you got to work with. Yeah. You can't just throw Eddie Murphy out there like with nothing and expect him to do something.
00:54:58
Speaker
like maybe in his Saturday Night Live days. But when you're talking about a bunch of movies like this, there's no room for that kind of shit. You got to you got to give the man something. Exactly. And I mean, that was one of the biggest flaws that we picked out of our when we talked about the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot is just the fact that it felt like they're riffing without much direction and the direction that is there seems to be somewhat lacking. And I think
00:55:23
Speaker
Let's talk Rob Minkoff for a little bit, because I think he's an interesting because he's an animator that segues into live action and then goes back, circles back around to animation.
00:55:33
Speaker
Um, so he's a Disney animator. He would say it's the circle of life. Hmm. And which is very fitting because his first big, uh, feature film for, for the Walt Disney company is a little movie, uh, which he directs alongside a guy called Roger Allers, uh, called the lion King ever heard of it. Um,
00:55:57
Speaker
Roger Allers was, I believe, the guy who tried to do the movie that would become The Emperor's New Groove. I love that one. The Kingdom of the Sun was the name of it, and it was supposed to be kind of this big budget epic thing. And then it got taken away. And there's actually a documentary you can find on YouTube made by Sting's wife that is I think it's called The Pressure Box or something like that. It's really good, and it's on YouTube.
00:56:27
Speaker
I don't think there's any way to watch it legally because it was never officially released. Disney always likes to squash it, but it'll occasionally pop up on
00:56:35
Speaker
on YouTube and you can watch it and it's very, very good. I think that's what it's called, I'm not sure. Then he goes on to direct both Stuart Little and Stuart Little 2. Yes, the M. Night Shyamalan written film, Stuart Little. It's called The Sweatbox. The Sweatbox, I knew it was something, The Something Box, The Sweatbox, thank you. Then he directs The Haunted Mansion. After that, he directs the Jackie Chan Jet Li film, The Forbidden Kingdom.
00:57:03
Speaker
Um, which doesn't feel like he's the right guy to direct that. Um, he directs something called fly paper, which I have legitimately never heard of. Uh, it's a heist movie with Patrick Dempsey and Ashley Judd, apparently. Uh, and then, and right. And then he goes back to animation. He does Mr. Peabody and Sherman in 2014.
00:57:27
Speaker
a feature episode of this podcast and then Paws of Fury, The Legend of Hank, which is just an animal reskin of glazing saddles. Oh, I thought it would be like it would be like a ripoff of Kung Fu Panda just with different animals. No, Mel Brooks has a writing credit on Paws of Fury.
00:57:46
Speaker
That's great. I kind of want to see it now. I've seen some of the scenes from it. There are like direct one to one. And yes, yes. Versions of some. Look at this cast. This is a good your boy Mel Brooks is in the cast. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I do. I do. Loves me some Mel Brooks, as you well know. But yeah, so Rob Minkoff, I would not call him like a particularly like.
00:58:08
Speaker
I think he's done a couple things that have been, well, like The Lion King is a legitimately good film. But beyond that, I don't have any love for the Stuart Little films. Beyond that, I'm just kind of like, why does this guy get to Gore Verbinski in? Gore Verbinski is the guy who gave us The Ring. And he's the one that does Pirates of the Caribbean. And they give this to Rob Minkoff. Are they expecting Rob Minkoff to become the next big thing?
00:58:36
Speaker
And it feels like almost all the budget goes to secure Eddie Murphy. And everything else goes into like, I don't know, production design, man. They dumped a lot of money in making that shit look good,
Set Design and Jennifer Tilly's Role
00:58:48
Speaker
I think. And it was worth it because, like I said, one of the good things about this movie is the set design, art direction, production design all look amazing. I don't know how accurate they are.
00:58:59
Speaker
Not at all. Not at all.
00:59:14
Speaker
Well, and I know they mixed the design elements from some of the various Haunted Mansion, I think, particularly the ones in Disneyland and Disney World, specifically. Based on what I read, they kind of like mixed the design a little bit of it. It was predominantly inspired by the one in Anaheim, but the one in Orlando, there were some design elements included there. I think specifically like the conservatory off to the side was kind of inspired by that. The conservatory does look pretty accurate too.
00:59:41
Speaker
So, but yeah, just again, certain design elements, pretty spot on, pretty other design elements, not so much. I have, there are two other things that I really have to talk about in this movie that I want to make sure I point out. And since you've been silent for a half a second, I feel like I can interject with these two points.
01:00:06
Speaker
The Jennifer Tilly of it all. Love me some Jennifer Tilly. My queen Jennifer Tilly. She's great in this. Underutilized. That's the problem. She doesn't she's not given a nearly enough to do. Now granted, she does not need this. She's got that Simpsons money. But like, I always love it when she shows up. I do.
01:00:25
Speaker
The only thing that I didn't like is that they just took like apparently so Madame Leota in the ride is doing a seance and doing an incantation. That's why she's rhyming. Apparently the people that wrote this movie thought, oh, she rhymes all the time. That's her thing. No, it isn't. It's that she's saying an incantation during a seance. That's why she's rhyming. She doesn't rhyme all the time. You just rhyme on a one time basis. Oh.
01:00:51
Speaker
Yes, Brett's a poet and he doesn't even know it. Snuggins. How did I do that on purpose? And I do know it. Oh, well, if you did, you would have just rhymed purpose with something. Yeah. Would he? What I have. I would have. But I'm a stickler for that kind of stuff. Oh, yeah. Jennifer Tilly, the shit. The second thing I wanted to bring up.
01:01:14
Speaker
Oh, also, I didn't even realize she was rhyming when she spoke. I didn't realize that that was happening. Sometimes it was all the time. I was going to say sometimes when she does it, it's like aggressively obvious that I found myself just going, we don't need this. We don't need this.
01:01:33
Speaker
Uh, the other thing I wanted to point out was, uh, since I'm the resident credits guy, self appointed resident credits guy. Think of that Nelly song that ended this movie. So appropriate, right? Didn't it fit the tone of this movie? Wasn't it the perfect credit song? He said, when the credit started, I about rolled my eyes out of my head and shut it off.
01:01:53
Speaker
Oh, my God. And yet the worst part is that there's also the score to this movie, I think, is phenomenal. I loved the score. I thought the music was great. And to go from that, especially because there is a big swelling part of the score that's really great at the end of the movie, go to that to some fucking crackerjack beat with Nelly just randomly saying shit over it.
01:02:14
Speaker
I got nothing against Nelly like country grammar all the way, but also the fuck out of my haunted mansion movie, man. You got no business here. No business. And again, it's one of the process behind that being the credit song to this movie. It feels like a decision.
Music and CGI Critique
01:02:30
Speaker
that that
01:02:48
Speaker
I don't know how much of that you had to license, but yeah. I think the Nelly track being over the end credits feels like one of those decisions that was made by someone in the production. It feels like an Eddie Murphy demand. I don't know if that's true. I'm just speculating wildly here where he's like, oh, you should put this Nelly song in the credits. I heard this Nelly song and I really like it.
01:03:09
Speaker
Or like oh my daughter really likes this Nelly song you should put it in the credits kind of a thing like have you heard of this guy maybe he should write a song for the movie. Like he's really big right now it feels like one of those like studio decisions that's made without taking into consideration the movie that we're making.
01:03:26
Speaker
And I found it about as jarring as I find the snap cut to Blue Moon at the end of American Werewolf in London, which is one of my least favorite like cuts to credits in film history. I like that one. I don't like that one. Like it takes me right out of what is should be a very poignant ending to that movie. And I think that's kind of the that's kind of the point. I know it's a joke. I don't like the joke is what I'm saying. OK, no, OK. Yeah, that's fair. I know exactly what it is. I just don't like it.
01:03:56
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's the reason. That's the thing that keeps that movie from being perfect for me. Your mileage may vary in credits of American werewolf in London, but no, I don't know. It's very jarring and I don't like, but it feels like a studio decision where you're like, who's big right now? Who's hot? Who can we get on this? I don't know. Nellie is the only one taking our call. Sure. Let's let's set up a meeting. And that's really the difference because we've had plenty of other like.
01:04:21
Speaker
you know, cut to credits awesome like R&B rap songs. The Addams Family, great. Oh yeah. The Addams are too legit. Yeah, then the Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack is just fantastic. Spirit, some people hear it. Some people hear it. Spirit. Yeah, exactly. Some people just won't go near it, you know? Nah, dude.
01:04:45
Speaker
I have two or three of those songs on my Spotify playlist right now. Like it's all that Bobby Brown shit is on my main playlist. Sure. It's good. I can't help it. And the run DMC remake of the Ghostbusters theme. Okay. Absolutely. So yeah, it's just, it's a matter of like
01:05:03
Speaker
Yeah, let's let's not care about the tone. Let's just get somebody who's really popular and throw them on the throw at the beginning of the credits. And that that happens a lot. Like, I mean, that's kind of that was kind of a Hollywood thing around this time. Like, that's also, I think, how you get. Is it Kanye who does the Mission Impossible theme for Mission Impossible, three or four? It was there was one of them, one of them, too. Or was it Metallica for two? Then Biscuit did it for one of them.
01:05:38
Speaker
What was happening?
01:05:46
Speaker
We're all going to sleep. Oh, we're looking stuff up in real time. Yeah. Oh, OK. It's that thing that we do. The speaking of stuff like that, one of my favorite bands, The Distillers, did a version of the 60 Spider-Man theme for Sam Raimi Spider-Man 2. Not related at all, but I feel like I have to fill this dead air with something so that I don't have to edit it out later.
01:06:09
Speaker
How close are you, Steven? How close are we? Ninety six. It was you two. I'm scrolling through the Wikipedia page here. Oh, God, Limp Biscuit did it for 2000. So they did it for the second one. Kanye West Kanye West did the remix for Mission Impossible three. There it is. OK.
01:06:29
Speaker
Word. You two does it for the first film, you get Limp Biscuit for the second, Kanye for the third. In addition to switching directors every movie, they would also switch artists on the theme every movie. That was two of the things that that franchise was known for in the early days that they've both abandoned in later years.
01:06:52
Speaker
Well, I think they're kind of taking a cue from the Bond series where you always have a new Bond girl and a new Bond song by a popular artist. Yeah. And so, yeah, but then again, most of the times and again with Mission Impossible, those are written directly for the film. This just feels something like something completely different.
01:07:12
Speaker
This feels more in line with something like the ending of a Fast and Furious movie than it does, the ending of a lighthearted family comedy about a bunch of dead people. And that score, man, it's so against everything the score is doing. It's just the complete opposite. It takes you right.
01:07:31
Speaker
out of it like whatever level you were into this film which for me the production design and the score and a few of the performances I really had a good time with overall the movie not that great but there are a few elements that kind of kept me into it and as soon as that song hits
01:07:49
Speaker
right out of it. Yeah, it kind of checks you right out. I agree. It's just like when when the when what's her nuts in the Marvel movies when she pushes somebody's soul out of him like Dr. Change does. Yeah, he's all like the Duke and then your soul is like could do. That was me and that Nelly song just could do to my soul out of me as I was watching the movie.
01:08:11
Speaker
Dr. Strange style. I really wish all of you could have seen what Tucker just did. It was fantastic. Oh my god. I did a kadoosh. Yeah, you kadooshed all right. You're kadooshin' all over this episode. That's why you hired me for my kadooshing skills. I think that was maybe one of those skills we didn't know about when we hired you, actually. Added bonus. Is it? Oh, OK. Bone us. Let me see. I got some more notes.
01:08:40
Speaker
So as previously mentioned, I hated Eddie Murphy's character from the get go. Mm hmm. So by the end of it, like, you know, immediately how this is going to end. Mm hmm. I don't feel like he earned that shit at all. No. Just because he is thrown out of a window, he's all of a sudden going to have a change of heart. OK. Actively getting cut by a ghost, though. That's you know.
01:09:07
Speaker
They tried to Peter Pan him. They tried to Robin Williams, Peter Pan him, and it just. It doesn't work. Yeah, no. He's going to. And what makes him have a change of heart is the really expensive watch that he got her earlier. That my God missing there. It's so stupid. So dumb. A thing that he got her as it was less than anniversary gift and more an apology gift because he is so consumed by work that he missed their anniversary dinner.
01:09:35
Speaker
Yeah. And he's so consumed by work, that's all he fucking talks about. The entire movie. Yep. I mean, I don't know how many more times we can talk about how just predictable and just...
01:09:52
Speaker
just overwrought this movie is like. Yeah, it's the kid being afraid of spiders means he's going to have to face his big fear of spiders later. Mm hmm. Oh, my God. Yeah, this film, I know this is way before like Chad GPT or something. This film feels like it was written by AI. It kind of does. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Yeah. It meant that it is so formulaic and so by the by the numbers that
01:10:18
Speaker
It doesn't feel like there's any anything in it worth holding on to. And again, I have to contrast it against Pirates of the Caribbean, which is a movie that does that phenomenally well, gives you, you know, characters and stakes and an actual story that and and enough there for you to hold on to and say, hey, this is an actual movie, whereas this just feels like
01:10:46
Speaker
Round of spot the reference and with you know something vaguely resembling a narrative kind of wrapped around it Yeah Absolutely. I also didn't really care for the shoehorned in zombies in the mausoleum scene No, the zombies did look cool though. I'm just saying they look pretty good but like Not really
01:11:08
Speaker
I feel like that was there just so they could get the reference of the skeleton hand opening the coffin. Yeah. That's the only reason it was there. It just seems like I don't know really why speaking right about ghosts, not anything else. But anyway, speaking of the special effects.
01:11:26
Speaker
I thought while not very good, I thought they fit the film very well because it was kind of a film geared towards kids and stuff. And I thought that the CGI was very cartoonish in nature. And I appreciated that for the tone of the film.
01:11:43
Speaker
And again, like I said, I really enjoyed the presentation of the ghost because it was just the frighteners, except they were blue instead of like sort of dirty green. Right. And you can tell it's a kids movie because there are two kid characters that are shoehorned in that serve absolutely no narrative purpose whatsoever.
01:12:00
Speaker
Yeah, except for being afraid of spiders. And let me tell you, I don't like to say bad things about child actors because they're child actors, and most of the time it wasn't their idea to be there anyway. Correct. Boy, these kids sucked.
01:12:14
Speaker
Like it's real, real bad. Not that they had anything to work with, but I really don't just toilet performances in this movie. Oh, I mean, look, Ali, the woman that plays Eddie Murphy's bride, though, she's not giving a performance. There's just nothing there. Was that me? She's just like. Just nothing. She would be great in a reboot of Mannequin.
01:12:40
Speaker
Yeah, she she was not great. That actress's name is Marsha Thomason. And she let me look up her. I think this is like one of the biggest things that she has done. She was in 69 episodes of the television show, White Collar. Nice. She she played Naomi in Lost, 12 episodes of Lost.
01:13:08
Speaker
Um, but yeah, a lot of, a lot of TV, it looks like I'm looking through her, her filmography here. A lot of TV, um, usually kind of some, some smaller arcs on a lot of these shows, but, uh, yeah, is, uh, is a voice in the voice of Diana in a hit man, am solution. So there you go. Cool. But yeah, just, I mean, just kind of a TV actress is probably her biggest movie ever.
01:13:35
Speaker
And she doesn't do much here to really. There's not a lot of presence in this performance. I'm sorry. It looks like it looks like she was Greta in the Netflix cancel Castlevania as well, which I recommend to anyone, even if you're not a fan of the games. It is pretty good. Yeah. So I mean, yeah. So she's got some voice credits, got some TV credits. But I think this looks like maybe not her first movie, but definitely her biggest movie. And that is in her entire career.
01:14:04
Speaker
But yeah, based on based on this, I guess. She that's what I know her from is Black Knight. I have a soft spot for for 90s and early 2000s. Eddie Murphy vehicles are not any Murphy of Martin Lawrence vehicles, stuff like Blue Streak and Black Knight. And I know they're terrible, but there's I just I can't get enough of them. And I knew I knew her from something. And she's yeah, she's the chambermaid in Black Knight. OK, there you go. Yeah.
01:14:32
Speaker
I'm sure she does a better performance in those other films, but not she does because she's just a caricature of a character in that movie instead of just being a blank slate like she is in this film. Well, and again, it's a it's a very unenviable role. It's a thankless role. Not only are you playing the nagging wife character, but then you also have to play the like object of desire for this ghost and it's
01:15:00
Speaker
Neither one of those are particularly like juicy meaty rolls. There's not a lot of meat on the bone here. So she's not given a lot to do. But then she's also given some relatively probably poor direction on from Minkoff. And then she's constantly having to put up with like Eddie Murphy and and probably his kind of star antics on set. Like there's not a lot that she has to do here. And it's really frustrating that
01:15:28
Speaker
You know, she doesn't really bring it because there's nothing really to bring. Like I, I, I wish I could fault her and say like, Oh, she's terrible here, but I don't really think she has any other choice. Like this is a nothing character and nothing role. And she's doing the best she can with it.
01:15:45
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I definitely wouldn't blame her for it. Just, you know, it was very noticeable amongst the cast of human cast of not so great actors. Pretty stark contrast. Yeah. Well, it's funny, though, can you call it a nagging wife character if she has a justifiable reason to be nagging again? I mean,
01:16:06
Speaker
Everybody in America hated Anna Gunn's character in Breaking Bad, even though she was the only character with an actual, you know, human motivation that made sense. She was the person I related to the most. And that show was so frustrating because of that. Yeah. And I was like, this poor woman, this poor woman, everybody else was like, Scarlett sucks. And I'm like, hell.
01:16:27
Speaker
Are we watching the same show? Oh, she's such an ag and like everyone's like, no, she's she's she makes sense. She's reasonable. Like she's not completely insane and psychotic. So the world at large would tell you, yes, Brett. Yes, you can. Jeez Louise. That's real fucking upsetting.
Ghosts' Fate and Sequel Speculation
01:16:45
Speaker
Oh, hey, welcome to America. Not surprised by upsetting it nonetheless. My next note. So I had a question. The end.
01:16:56
Speaker
I have a lot of questions. The first one, so did all 999 ghosts go to heaven at the end? That's the assumption, I guess we can make, given all those little ghost balls are floating toward the sky. OK, if that's the case, then why didn't Madame Leota and the singing busts? Because they were packed in the car already.
01:17:19
Speaker
No, no, those spirits left as soon as the other one's dead before. Because when did that happen? Because like everybody in the car is dressed in different clothes spread. No, honey, don't ask questions. Why are they taking Madam Leona and the bus on a road trip? Did they go back home and decide to save to save our favorite characters for the sequel? That's why. So the next movie can happen. There's your answer. There's the answer I didn't think about. Yeah, you did like the after credit scene, though. Jennifer Tilly. That was pretty cool.
01:17:48
Speaker
I didn't watch it because I turned the credits off. What? Basically, I think doing the incantation from the riot, I would assume. Yeah, she was she nailed it, too. She was really hamming it up as great. Well, shit, I guess I should go look that up. Yeah, I think that's that's all of my notes with the exception of to to bring it to to when when this episode releases this week. Disney.
01:18:18
Speaker
don't really fuck shit up sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. Well, yeah. Well, especially especially lately. Hmm. We we won't talk about the strike or anything. Yeah. Bob. Bob. We talked about this enough yesterday. We went on a big long rant about it. Yeah. See the last week's episode on Bratz for for that. Cool. But sometimes they get their asses saved in ways they didn't intend.
01:18:49
Speaker
So I have to mention Hope is Focus.
Cult Classics and Childhood Nostalgia
01:18:53
Speaker
That movie that has become a quintessential Halloween movie, also released in March. And it bombed real bad because they released a fucking Halloween movie in the spring slash summer. Yeah. And honestly, up until a couple of years ago, would have been eligible for covering on this podcast.
01:19:19
Speaker
Yeah, luckily, thanks to, you know, video and home video and, you know, streaming and whatever sales after the fact. Later, obviously, they weren't streaming in the 90s. It became the quintessential Halloween movie we all know and love. Right. Otherwise, that movie would have disappeared and we would have talked about it on this podcast. Like was it that that movie that everyone discovered once Disney Plus finally was at Mr. Oogity? Was that the
01:19:50
Speaker
I think so. What the fuck are you talking about, Steven? Research in real time while I keep talking. So they're doing it again with the Haunted Mansion movie. They're releasing a movie that should absolutely have been released in fucking October, September at the earliest. Mm hmm.
01:20:11
Speaker
In July, summer block, the middle of summer. It's July, which is why we have this weird spooky thon episode in the middle of when the middle of July or I guess the end of July. But yeah, at least we've gotten it over with so we can focus on like more important stuff for spooky thon. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't have this. This would not have been on the list for spooky thon for a couple more years, at least like the much anticipated. I'm sorry, Brad, go ahead.
01:20:41
Speaker
Hmm. No, you're fine. I don't even remember. I was going to say no. OK, I was going to say, including the much anticipated Patreon unenfranchised of the rage carry to everybody's clamoring for this one. It's all over the comments. People are like, when are we going to get that rage carry to you guys? It's coming in October. Don't worry. We're going to get it. I know everybody is highly anticipating Tucker reading his own comments because he's the only one asking for it, but he's
01:21:09
Speaker
So loud and persistent. We kind of don't have much of it and handsome. I don't put words in my mouth. I didn't say that. You don't have to. Your eyes say it all,
Ghostbusters, Multiverses, and Spoilers
01:21:19
Speaker
Stephen. So did you find what you were looking for? I have I have no. Mr. Boogity is what it's called.
01:21:30
Speaker
Oh, is that isn't that the bad guy from Nightmare Before Christmas? Oh, that's Oogie Boogie. Yeah, there you go. Gotcha. You know, Mr. Mr. Boogity was apparently a wonderful magical world of Disney episode. And yeah, it was a made for TV horror movie for kids, basically. And yeah, I'm checking that out. It's you just check out
01:22:01
Speaker
Check out Disney Plus and it's probably still on there. That was a staple of my childhood was watching the colorful world, the wonderful world, the magical world, whatever it was called at the time of Walt Disney on Sunday nights on ABC.
01:22:16
Speaker
And we were a we were a fancy household actually had the Disney Channel when it was paid channel. Oh I got to see the cool Halloween shit Legend of sleepy hollow and They did this thing. It was like Because music videos were a big thing at the time so they would play Spooky ish songs and play related Disney cartoons behind them It's pretty good
01:22:43
Speaker
You know, though, Brett, you know, I guess maybe your parents gave you a choice. They were like, OK, Brett, you can either have the Disney Channel for the rest of your life or go to Disney World once. And you were like Disney Channel all the way, guys. Or memory unlocked. Yeah, you're welcome. No, I was a pretty smart kid. So I probably because I look, I didn't I found the Haunted Mansion later. I didn't know really about the one. I mean, I knew of the Haunted Mansion, but I didn't like.
01:23:13
Speaker
I didn't become obsessed with it until later. Right. That tracks. So I probably would have said Disney Channel because like I say, yeah, because really all I know your childhood because again, like, I don't know, I found a lot of the stuff as a kid. I was not as obsessive about things as I got when I get into my twenties and early thirties. Um, a lot of the things I love and are obsessed with, I really got into.
01:23:41
Speaker
later in life. You know, with the exception of a couple of things like Ghostbusters, I was always obsessed with Ghostbusters. I was going to say Ghostbusters is kind of a core core obsession for you. Yeah. Yeah. They say canon event, if you will. All breaths across all multiverses experience a love for the Ghostbusters at an early age. And if they don't, that universe just dies. Actually, we know that not to be true.
01:24:11
Speaker
because there is there is at least one world, one universe that we've crossed over with a couple of times where where that bread is not aware of Ghostbusters. So yeah, that that universe is gone at this point. It has crumbled into oblivion. It potentially has. We haven't heard from them for a while. That's true. We've not. We do. We hear from them around April and we didn't hear anything from them this past year because we neglected the canon event in that in that universe. So now it's got it's got to go.
01:24:40
Speaker
Got to the point to where there's no way you're ever going to be a Ghostbusters fan in that universe. So the universe just unraveled like Mr. Fantastic and Multiverse of Madness. Yeah. In the spaghetti levels. Oh, everybody's seen it by now. It's Sam Raimi and it's MCU. So you should have seen it by now. It's the last MCU movie I saw in theaters. Maybe the last one I will ever see in theaters. I wish I would have seen that the movie theater just for the Sam Raimi of it all. Honestly, it's also like a year and a half old now.
01:25:11
Speaker
Yeah, look, man, people get bitchy when you spoil like like classic movies from like the 40s online. Like people are dumb. Well, there's a difference between, you know, revealing one death or one plot point and completely spoiling the movie. And I agree if even if it's an old movie and you just come out with like, oh, spoilers for sixth sense. Oh, it's he's Bruce Willis the whole time. You know, like you just come out and say that.
Haunted Mansion Movie and Video Game
01:25:39
Speaker
Like, that's not cool, man. Which reminds me if we want to talk about one fucking thing that is like we talk about how trite this fucking movie is. Yeah. They have to shoehorn in the dad. I see dead people lying in this fucking movie. What the fuck? And there's not even like a follow up or like a joke after it. Like, that is the reason for it. It's just referencing the sixth sense, a movie that came out four years earlier. That is the joke.
01:26:08
Speaker
Well, they they briefly do a crossover with the scary movie franchise and just like randomly say some shit. Yeah. Hey, dad. Yes, son. I see dead people. Boom. It just said nothing. Nothing like a fucking leg balloon. It doesn't even sit there. Cuts directly to something else. They don't even let it sit for a second. They're just like, oh, you're right. We fucked up. Cut to the house with something else. Sorry. We're leaving it in. But also sorry. God, you know, this game is old already, but we're going to do it anyway. Right. Already. Yes.
01:26:38
Speaker
I hate. I'm surprised there wasn't any bullet time in this movie. Oh my god. You know what I mean? It seemed like the right time for it. Honestly, me too. I'm surprised I wasn't in there either. Oh my god. That's such a... I hate that so much. I'm sure there's a deleted scene somewhere of like one of the ghosts doing bullet time, you know?
01:26:58
Speaker
The hunting man chairing scene was released a, a, a Halloween movie released just in time for Thanksgiving, November 26th, 2003. No, not Steven. Oh, oh no.
01:27:17
Speaker
I haven't looked it up to this now, but I'm pretty sure I have a memory because I'm pretty sure you're right. I'm also we we missed you last week because there definitely were Bratz video games and we did not have to talk about them. Oh, God, I wouldn't have wanted to. But you would have had to because that's. I know. I know. Thank God I missed it. I mean, oh, no, that sucks. Can I before you start, can I can I guess what platforms this haunted mansion game was on?
01:27:47
Speaker
Uh, 2003. Let me guess. Let me guess. You ready? All right. Is it 2003 or 2007? 2003. I'm thinking of Brad's. Brad's was 2007. Yeah. That game was the DS. The Haunted Mansion comes out on PlayStation 2 and Game Boy Advance. Uh, you got PlayStation 2 correct and Game Boy Advance correct.
01:28:15
Speaker
Did it. Were there more platforms? There were there two other platforms. Xbox and GameCube, probably. Correct. Well done, sir. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What do I win? Nothing. OK. Now, what's funny, though, is the game is not based on the movie. It comes out the same year. Why are we talking about it? Oh, well, because I mean, it's it's it's clearly a tie in. It's well, and it's also it's a video game from the franchise. We do this all the time. Doesn't have to be based on the movie specifically.
01:28:44
Speaker
Um, otherwise I wouldn't have done that entire video game corner episode of, um, non resident evil or the Hulk one or the Hulk one for that matter. Yeah. Or the mother one or hit man, key wrecked. Um, but this one seems like, uh, um, Oh no, man, it's, it's got a really convoluted story. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the ride as usual.
01:29:15
Speaker
and it seems to be one of those like top-down like cartoony real like how to describe these kinds of games like action adventure if that makes sense Tucker you might know what I'm talking about are there like just a shit ton of enemies is it kind of like gauntlet no I mean there's collectibles
01:29:43
Speaker
Yeah, kind of like kind of like dauntlet, but not a whole lot of enemies. It has that same sort of look and style, but not a lot of enemies. Kind of kind of a dungeon crawler sort of. Kind of. Yeah. At least from from what I can see from the screenshots here. Yeah, I mean, it's it's very cartoony. There's giant spiders, there's
01:30:12
Speaker
is, you know, your usual run of the mill is pirate ghosts and Grim Reaper monster. I don't know. This doesn't this looks very early 2000s Nintendo game. Mom, there you go. It doesn't look good. There's probably a reason I never heard of it. Until just now, but that surprisingly is the only mentioned video game good.
Box Office Analysis and 2003 Films
01:30:41
Speaker
Yeah, honestly, yeah, I would agree with you. Good. That's fine. We don't need any. I think an open world game where you have to explore the mansion would be fun.
01:30:53
Speaker
Um, yeah, I mean, especially one that has, um, you know, how they, um, access the multiverse is called the endless stairway. Um, and you, you, the different stairways take you to different mansions all across the multiverse. Nice. I say, I submit that we reskin the first resident evil game as a haunted mansion game. Let's do that.
01:31:19
Speaker
I don't know about a reskin, but close. We could probably do that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So Haunted Mansion opens just in time for Thanksgiving, Wednesday, November 26. And across the five-day weekend, it earns about $34 million, which is enough to put it in second place that weekend. And this top five is a who's who of past episodes of this show.
01:31:44
Speaker
This is my favorite part. We have covered a few of these. The first one is one that we covered earlier this year. It's in its second week of release. It is the only movie I covered. I think we've covered that was directed by a one time. Art director, or I guess he still is an art director. He went back to it because directing didn't pan out.
01:32:09
Speaker
starring a adaptation of a book, starring a comedian in a role that he was very poorly suited for. Based on the children's book, it is Dr. Seuss's The Cat in the Hat.
01:32:27
Speaker
and the hot oh yeah yeah it's very terrible film this of course open second to that it earns like I said thirty four million on its way to a seventy five point eight million dollar domestic gross so not a good multiplier in its second weekend it goes from second place down to third the week after that it's
01:32:52
Speaker
down to fifth, like it just starts plummeting like a stone. In third place, another movie we've covered on this podcast a couple years ago, big Christmas film. It's been in theaters for four weeks already and has already earned $129 million, but somehow magically did not get a sequel because the star didn't want it. It is, of course, Will Ferrell's Elf. Which was written by the writer of this movie.
01:33:19
Speaker
Oh, geez, OK. Well, there you go. This guy was burning up the box office in 2003. He's only written Elf, Haunted Mansion, Zoom and the Spiderwick Chronicles. And after 2008, he just hasn't really done anything. We can cover strange magic. We can cover literally all of those on this podcast. That is fucking wild. In fourth place, a little movie called Gothica.
01:33:46
Speaker
one of Halle Berry's Oscar follow-ups there. And then in fifth place, it's been out for three weeks. It was at four the week before. It's on its way to being an Oscar player, starring Russell Crowe and the patron saint of this podcast, Mr. Paul Bettany. It is master and commander, Colin, the far side of the world, a movie that fucking rules.
01:34:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I remember that. I thought it was called Boring, Boring, Boring, Who Cares Boring? It's a boat movie, Steven. Yeah, it's a fucking good boat movie. We don't like boat movies. This this podcast on the whole. Yes, I agree. Unless it's unless it's Jaws or Master and Commander.
01:34:29
Speaker
There's always exceptions and I've never seen mastering commanders. So you're just talking out of your ass right now. Why? Yeah, I thought this is what it can't be seen about. But why don't you see it? You just said there's exceptions because he would rather he would rather revel in his ignorance.
01:34:47
Speaker
No, I was just going to say, since you guys have said that it's a really good boat movie, then, you know, I might check it out. It's definitely not at the top of my priority list, but before it wasn't even on my list. So we're getting there. That's a win.
Social Media Promotion and Conclusion
01:34:59
Speaker
I'll take it. Yeah. Rounding out the top 10, we do have Bad Santa, The Missing, Oh, Timeline, Love Actually and Disney's Brother Bear.
01:35:10
Speaker
You guys are doing yourselves a disservice if you're not watching Bad Santa at least three times every December. I've never seen one of Santa. That's too fucking bad, Steven. And I really wish that we could do it on the main feed, but they made a really shitty sequel to it. Yeah, better, Santa. But the first film is one of Billy Bob Thornton's best performances, I think, one of it's up there with Sling Blade and A Simple Plan.
01:35:39
Speaker
And Homeboy from Man Who Knew Too Much. Man Who Knew Too. You know, the man who the Coen Brothers movie that I like, that's my favorite. But now I can't remember what the fuck it's called. It's OK. The man who wasn't there. There you go.
01:35:56
Speaker
uh... haunted mansion again goes on to make seventy five point eight million domestic another seventy nine point nine international for total about a hundred fifty five point eight million worldwide decent but not enough i mean the production budget was ninety million and usually you want to try to at least keep that in
01:36:16
Speaker
domestic at least before you try to make a sequel and it didn't hit those numbers because that doesn't take into account any advertising done for the film and and this was heavily promoted you had happy meals you had commercials you had merchandise comic before the movie even came out yeah
01:36:38
Speaker
So yeah, this movie was fucking everywhere. For all the good that it did, it kind of opened to a wet fart and kept dropping. It gets a 14% Tomatometer score. The critic's consensus is neither scary nor funny. The Haunted Mansion is as lifeless as the ghosts in the movie. The Metascore is a 34, generally unfavorable reviews from 34 critics.
01:37:04
Speaker
And the letterbox score is a 2.6. Brett, out of five stars, how many are you bestowing upon 2003's The Haunted Mansion? One and a half. One and a half for Brett Tucker. What about you?
01:37:22
Speaker
Well, I will give it one star for Terence Stamp, Nathaniel Parker and Jennifer Tilly and everybody else who showed up for this movie and another star for the score in the production design. So two stars. I also give it two stars. So that is at least it's not Bratz. I mean, I was the fact that I had just seen Bratz literally hours before, I'm sure had
01:37:46
Speaker
had something to do with it, but yeah. You know, it just makes this looks like like the Godfather part two. It kind of does. Yeah. Like Bratz is real, real, real bad. But hey, at least it's not Bratz. Like this actually looks like a movie that got released in theaters, whereas Bratz looked like a made for TV movie that someone decided needed a theatrical release.
01:38:12
Speaker
Yes, indeed. Yeah, is is real bad. But that is our episode on 2003's The Haunted Mansion. And yeah, it's been it's been fun. We've had a good time. You can find us on all your social media platforms. We are on Instagram, letterboxed, Facebook, Twitter for now and threads.
01:38:36
Speaker
Uh, at disenfranch pod, you can find us, um, wherever you get your podcasts. Uh, but if you're on Apple podcasts or Spotify, please consider giving us a five star rating and review that really does help go a long way to helping other people find this podcast as well. And if you particularly enjoyed this.
01:38:54
Speaker
share it with some of your other friends who might also enjoy The Haunted Mansion or its affiliated lore or just want to get mad listening to us talk about it. I don't know if you like this movie. If you don't like this movie, tell everybody else about this podcast.
01:39:09
Speaker
And then they can hear us talk about it, and you have their own opinions, I guess. Because a hate-listen is still a listen. It's still a download, and we like those. Thank you. You can shoot us an email at disenfranchpod at gmail.com. Let us know what you think. Introduce yourself. Say hi. Let us know what failed franchise starters you would like to see us cover in the back half of this year, because we've actually got some stuff opening up after September. We've got pretty much a wide playing field after September.
01:39:38
Speaker
Let us know what you want to hear us talk about, and we might talk about some of it. Who knows? I'm your host, Stephen Foxworthy. You can find me on Instagram, Letterboxd, Twitter for now, Threads and now Blue Sky at Chewy Walrus. Brett, where can we find you on social medias? Just Instagram or Letterboxd at sus underscore warlock. And Tucker.
01:40:05
Speaker
So when you sign on to Blue Sky, do you just constantly have the yellow song? Mr. Blue Sky playing in your head? Because I would like every time I logged in, I'd be like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like, you know, hyped. Yeah, yeah. About half the time, I would say. Yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
01:40:24
Speaker
I'm on YouTube at Ice 909, I-C-E-N-I-N-E, the number zero and the number nine. I will again state my intentions to continue the preservation project just so I remember to do it when I have time. That's coming soon, hopefully. Also, me and the team at Tuck Mugs would really like you to come check that out. At Tuck underscore Mugs on Instagram.
01:40:49
Speaker
I love that we're keeping this bit. I love that everybody, you know, everybody on the staff like to take all of them. Everybody really pulls their weight and makes tuck mugs just just a really, really cool and unique thing on the Insta scams. So thank you. Tuck mugs, staff and crew, everybody working behind the scenes to really make this thing happen.
01:41:11
Speaker
like the village you know yeah it really really does it really does hard hey i resent that and also um we're we're still looking for guest mugs i've already you know i've already i've already got guest mugs from the two guys that pretty much had to do it right come on guys and you know we've gotten a lot of people that are
01:41:32
Speaker
of people that enjoy this podcast that have subscribed to Tuckmugs. So, hey, you people who have done that, email us with a picture of your mug, the story behind it, and what is in it, and we will put it on Tuckmugs. Go ahead and send that to disenfranchpod at gmail.com because Tuckmugs is a subsidiary of disenfranchised. So, it all funnels into the same place.
01:41:54
Speaker
The Venn diagram overlaps some with same staff, some of the same staff from the podcast works for the instant scam page as well. Right. Right. In fact, it's the same. It's that we we we hired out the same company that does the social media for this podcast, actually. So yes. Yeah. It's all it's all coming from the same place. And we. Yeah. What a bit. What a fucking bit. Yes.
01:42:22
Speaker
But that is our episode on 2003's Haunted Mansion. I am your host, Stephen Foxworthy, from my co-host Brett Wright and Tucker. Until next time. Hurry back. Hurry back. Be sure to bring your death certificate.