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S4.E2. Death Spa (1989) The Most RIDICULOUS Horror Movie Ever Made?
29 Plays2 months ago
Is this the ultimate "So Bad It’s Good" 80s masterpiece? 🧖♂️🩸 Welcome to Season 4, Episode 2 of The Average. Tonight, we’re trading the psychological dread of our premiere for neon spandex, exploding blenders, and the most haunted gym equipment in cinematic history. We are breaking down the 1989 cult classic: DEATH SPA. To help us survive this workout, we’ve brought in a powerhouse panel of horror expert: 🎙️ Aaron from @aaronsmovies8587 & @abhorrormovies From the "nudity every ten minutes" rule to some of the most creative practical effects of the era, we’re putting Death Spa through our signature 9-Category Scorecard. Does the 80s synth-wave charm and high-octane camp earn it a high score, or do the massive plot holes drag it down to the basement? In this episode, we discuss: The "Sentient" gym computer and the logic (or lack thereof) behind the kills. The legendary practical effects—from the "acid shower" to the "blender fist." Why this movie is the quintessential "Social Setting" watch. THE FINAL VERDICT: We average our scores with the LIVE chat to find the definitive rating. Join the Conversation: Every week, YOU are the third host. Grab the scorecard from our link below, rate along with us, and see how your scores impact the final average! ✍️ GRAB THE SCORECARD: https://linktr.ee/theaveragereviews This is The Average, where the real review happens with your friends. #DeathSpa #HorrorReview #TheAveragePodcast #80sHorror #CultClassic #PracticalEffects #DarkroomReviews #AaronsMovies #MovieScorecard #Season4✨ Be part of the conversation! Submit your final score here: 👉 https://tr.ee/iGtZ-DpOO6 📚 Want more horror? Check out our books on Amazon: 👉 https://a.co/d/bUtniBd 🎧 Check out our friends at Zencastr and get 30% off your first 3 months of Zencastr Pro: 👉 https://zen.ai/theaveragereviews 📖 Enjoy $5.00 off your first purchase when you use Tim Umpleby’s code “TIMOTHYREADS” at checkout: 👉 https://pangobooks.com/TIMOTHYREADS
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Transcript
Introduction: Missing Person Mystery
00:00:42
Speaker
Mr. Evans, a woman named Marcy Hewitt, a member of your club, is missing. Marcy? Yeah. Your boyfriend said he hasn't seen her for two days. The last he knew she was going to your club. Her car was found abandoned in the neighborhood this morning. i haven't seen Marcy.
00:00:55
Speaker
At least for two days. What a fantastic weight reduction program. People get so thin, they disappear.
Welcome and Movie Introduction
00:01:33
Speaker
Welcome back to The Average. We are officially in the swing of season four, and after the psychological weight of our premiere, we figured it was time to lighten things up. Tonight, we're heading to the gym, specifically the Star Body Health Spa in Los Angeles, for a movie that is the absolute definition of so bad, it's good.
00:01:53
Speaker
That's right. Tonight we are breaking down the 1988 cult classic Death Spa. And if you thought your New Year's resolution was painful, wait until you see what this sentient computer system does to the patrons of Starbody. We're talking weights that tear people apart and diving boards that are spring-loaded death traps.
00:02:15
Speaker
It's peak 80s chaos. Interestingly enough, director Mike Fischer said he came up with the idea because health clubs were popping up like mushrooms in LA at the time. He figured, why not put a vengeful ghost in one?
Plot Overview: Horror Meets Absurdity
00:02:27
Speaker
And it's not just any ghost, it's the spirit of the owner's deceased wife, Catherine, who is possessing the gym's high-tech computer system to take out her jealousy on the members.
00:02:38
Speaker
Fun fact for the horror nerds out there, in Europe and Asia, this film was actually released under the incredible title of Witch Bitch.
00:02:49
Speaker
I think I prefer the international title, honestly. But look at this cast. We've got horror royalty, Ken Forrest Marvin. And this movie actually marked the feature film debut of Karen Parsons, who went on to be Hilary Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air because an executive saw her in this ah saw her in this on a late night cable.
Notable Cast and 80s Influence
00:03:10
Speaker
It's also a bit of a bittersweet watch as it was the final role for Merritt Buttrick before his passing. This movie is a time capsule of 1980s excess, the spandex, the synth, and those practical effects that honestly have no business being this entertaining.
00:03:27
Speaker
To help us navigate the plot holes, the acid showers, and the sheer absurdity of a fish killing a detective in a food freezer, we have ah one of the best in the business with us tonight.
Guest Expert Joins for Film Review
00:03:40
Speaker
We have Aaron from, you'll know him from at Aaron's movies, eight, five, eight, seven and AB b horror movies on Instagram. at and do Hell yeah.
00:03:51
Speaker
Yes. Uh, thank you guys for having me on. This is awesome. Um, always happy to, to chat with you both. heck yeah. So we've got this nine category scorecard ready to go. We're going to find out if the practical gore carries this movie to a high average or if the Mardi Gras logic drags it straight to the basement.
00:04:15
Speaker
Can you hear me now? Yep, we can hear You you got of cut out there for a second. You good? I lost you guys. Yep. I think I blinked out a little bit. So... ah Yep. Aaron, did you say hello?
00:04:26
Speaker
I did say hello. Yes. Thank you so much for having me. This is awesome. I'm happy to be
00:04:33
Speaker
Awesome. Technical difficulties aside. All right. So did you read your part, Jonathan? I lost everything. Okay. So stay tuned as we break it all down. This is the average where the real review happens with your friends. Aaron, Jonathan, let's hit the gym.
00:04:53
Speaker
get bo
00:04:57
Speaker
David Price- right, and I blink out again you guys just take it away okay if I blink out you just keep going don't worry don't worry about me. David Price- Yes. David Price- It is being poopy tonight that's that is for sure. David Price- makes it more interesting though David Price- Right. David Alright so diving into our.
Gym's Haunting and Convoluted Plot
00:05:19
Speaker
categories. We start with the story of this one. This is an interesting movie. So let's start with the story of we have Michael uh Evans right Michael Evans who runs this star body gym in yeah it's because Travis is here in the comments from the nightclub we got technical issues every time uh we have Michael Evans who runs the star body gym and
00:05:52
Speaker
we he weird things start happening the movie opens with somebody dying in or getting burned by acid in a sauna but it's not the same sauna we see later it's a different so i'm not sure what sauna this is because this one was tile the sauna at the end is wood so but yeah either way um maybe they closed down the first sauna that would make sense
00:06:20
Speaker
That's more than one, right? ah But...
00:06:26
Speaker
We don't really know what's going on. We learned that it might be the ghost of his past wife who housed herself in gasoline and burned herself alive because reasons that aren't thoroughly explained.
00:06:40
Speaker
And then her sole motivation when her ghost does come back is that she wants to kill him so they can go to hell together. That's like her motivation.
00:06:54
Speaker
I know. There's a the premise of this that the ghost is somehow manipulating this high tech gym equipment that is all computer controlled. Interesting.
00:07:04
Speaker
That's a new one. yeah New one. I don't know of any other movies. So if we're going on the originality of this movie, I can't see other film based computer equipment, running gym stuff and killing people because it's jealous.
00:07:23
Speaker
So I have to give it points for originality on the premise.
00:07:33
Speaker
So ah with the story, man, there's a lot going on here, man. You got police investigating stuff. You've got a parapsychologist also trying to
Character Chaos and Absurdity
00:07:42
Speaker
help Michael find out what's going on with weird shit happening. You got his business partners who are trying to sabotage him so they can take over.
00:07:50
Speaker
Then you've got, you know, his, is his, his, his past wife's twin brother being all creepy and weird and obsessed with his computers and shit. And then you've got, you know, this ghost of his sister possessing stuff and killing people. And then just this very, it's very cast heavy. lot of characters going on and just, man, just insanity, just weird stuff and just absurdity, just so much absurdity.
00:08:12
Speaker
Ugh. Aaron? i get Yeah, my God, where do I begin? i love that the gym is like the size of a garage, right? The main workout area is this tiny area. There's like five machines, yet you never see anyone waiting in line for a machine. No, there's just people randomly on the floor stretching and everyone generally seems happy.
00:08:35
Speaker
It's not like that at the gym I go to. um And I also love that the gym is the main area of the gym is a small space. Yet then they have an Olympic sized pool somehow attached down a different hallway. Yes. Different saunas. There's a creepy basement.
00:08:52
Speaker
um it's a TARDIS spa oh my god there's so much right imagine doing a tour it's like well now we got to drive five miles you can see the pool because it's clearly not all in one location um and i love that the dance studio there's like all professional dancers because when i walk by the dance studios at my gym they're not they don't look like that yes it's a beautiful choreographed so every time we see this a robbers class there's no one leading they're just perfectly dancing in unison like god it's like we're watching an episode of fame it's quite it's quite funny it is it's free dance free dance yes all right so we have a lot to pick into on this movie if we're just covering the dress you know that's fine uh
00:09:42
Speaker
Travis says he saw this once a while back, but doesn't remember it well enough to do a rating. He did enjoy it though. And that's, that's a key thing we'll get to later in
Originality and Technological Horror
00:09:51
Speaker
this film. Um, if I'm going on the originality of the premise, oh yeah, look at that baby.
00:09:58
Speaker
oh i here yeah I tried to order. i messaged, uh, Valoria video. Yeah, I got this from Tony. mal Yeah, I messaged Tony and asked him if he had any copies left and he said he did. And then I went to place my order and it was sold out. So I missed it.
00:10:15
Speaker
so So I missed I missed it. But message him. He might have some still backup. Yeah, I should reach back out. But if I'm going on the premise of this and how original the premise is, not how well it's executed.
00:10:31
Speaker
of course that comes later ah the premise of this is pretty original i have to give it i think i give it a four on this one i think it is pretty unique i think it's a little convoluted it's not clear because we do have like his partner that sabotaged parts of the gym but then we also have the ghost that is supposed to be blamed for the same things. So it's, it's a little convoluted, but it is definitely original.
00:11:05
Speaker
yeah I'm trying to pull up the numbers that I gave it. It's almost like, um what is it? A chopping mall. theres yeah There's technology. I mean, there aren't killer robots per se, but the machines kind of function as killer robots. It's definitely original.
00:11:20
Speaker
You can kind of see that the folks behind it thought, let's make a horror movie in a gym. And then everything else just sort of fell into place. At least that's my ah my take on it. But it's it's a fun premise. It's...
00:11:34
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. It's not the most ah original stories, but it's it's a fun watch and it's a fun premise. I'm trying to pull up my email so I can see it what I rated it as. It's funny you Mall because when I got done watching this, it recommended Chopping Mall. like Okay. All right. I gave it a two.
00:11:51
Speaker
You did. Okay. So the story isn't the best, um but it's ah it's a fun movie. yeah I'll leave it at that. I gave it a three. it It had some some some funky stuff going on, but there it it was enough to keep me entertained a little bit.
00:12:09
Speaker
Yeah. Now, did you buy that the wife would burn herself to death? that seemed a bit drastic. So it's weird with that because like the whole thing where we're not really sure what's going on, you have like the brother who comes or Michael or whoever was. David is the brother.
00:12:27
Speaker
No, no, I think David came to him because of like some sick joke he thought Michael was playing. Because you see that spot like the weird little thing looks like a fetus or something comes falling over river from the out of the yeahs the um the bird' nest the birds nest. yeah The birds nest. So I think maybe that might have been a whole thing where maybe the wife lost baby and was not well after because of it and then took her own life because they all that you know didn't work out that that's my guess yes because of that one part there and you mentioned chopping mall and i just have to say it was like a year ago that we did the chopping mall review with travis ayers but oh nice it's we gotta get these schlocky fun movies in every now and then but this uh that is not
00:13:10
Speaker
well explained and i will definitely take that into account on the script but we can talk about it now too uh because he goes to the paranormal investigator and that guy is like i sense i sense ah she set herself on fire like she was paralyzed during childbirth is what he says something with her spine during childbirth that put her in the wheelchair he never says what happened to the child yeah where's the kid he never explains that so we can assume that she lost it and that's kind of what drove her to pour the gasoline but then it is never mentioned again the child is never mentioned by Michael it is never mentioned by the ghost of Catherine later it is never brought back up tell you the detail
00:14:00
Speaker
back over here hidden away where no one really cares anymore. Yeah. I do think, i do think that's an interesting part of it though, is explaining why she went into this, but this is, this can go into our character, which is our next category, our characters and our character arcs. Uh, I put in my notes that she is, oh, and, uh, Evan from the chat, he scored this a four as well.
00:14:30
Speaker
but i put in here in my notes where did i say it
00:14:40
Speaker
basically i put that they do not make catherine his ex-wife out to be a likable person at all in everything that they talk about basically i think we're supposed to sympathize with her with the childbirth thing but because they never explained what happened to the kid, it basically just sounds like she went crazy and because she couldn't walk anymore, she killed herself.
00:15:05
Speaker
And that YouTube's gonna take that down. Cause I said that instead of, uh, self anyways, um, but it yeah, so I don't really sympathize with her in that whole situation. I'm i'm not feeling it but then she comes back and she's just killing everybody out of jealousy you for why and at the gym no less yeah and it's just random people it does start with female patrons she does target female patrons and he does seem to be flirty with every single one of them he's trying to get it uh-huh he's trying to get it everywhere from all them yeah but yeah you don't think he's devastated by his dead wife you don't think oh when that girl falls when the diving board falls off and that girl is like traumatized yeah he is wrapping that towel around her hand on the back of her head holding her close i was like this isn't the first time this
00:16:08
Speaker
ah This page is getting special treatment. I love it. His girlfriend comes home for after being in like the intensive care. Right. She's got bandages on her eye. She can't see. The first thing they do is have a romantic candlelight dinner and snuggle and make out on the couch. I'm thinking, what the hell? and And not only that, she put on like a ah black night dress and makeup and did her hair. She just has bandages over her eyes and third degree burns over most of her body. But her yeah, that's what need to do right after something like yes, some romantic and all cuddly and shit like oh her burns healed so well in the one day she was in the hospital because all that was left was her eyes. Her eyes were the only things left damage. And we that is probably the sexiest asparagus eating a scene and I think I've ever seen. That ah is. Oh, for sure. I've never seen asparagus get me hot and bothered like that one. So that
00:17:04
Speaker
like entertaining scene try it with baby can take my asparagus it is what did oh yeah so if we're going on the characters so this movie fails to make katherine sympathetic ghost which is fine she's technically the villain it also fails to give michael any kind of character arc any kind of growth from beginning to end. he is always reacting to stuff.
00:17:34
Speaker
He is never proactive. Not once does he think after two major accidents happen and two people almost die in his gym within 24 hours from the opening scene to the diving board. Not once does he think maybe I should close this down.
00:17:53
Speaker
Instead, he is the opposite and going, got to have this Mardi Gras party because I made so much money. We got to keep it open. I want to make the money.
00:18:05
Speaker
And he doesn't change from that.
00:18:09
Speaker
Right. He even brought in the disco dance floor for the party. He did. right And then quite lively. I think the only thing that changes is probably David, the twin brother.
00:18:23
Speaker
and he doesn't change. all that much but he changes literally changes into Catherine at one point so the character arcs on this were a rough one for me I don't see much character arc I see characters existing they're they're there we're not seeing a lot of growth there's not a lot of development he's not traumatized by this arc at all he's just kind of like Catherine you're dead let me be with Laura she's hot like that's that's the plot Even with bandages on her eyes. Yeah.
00:18:57
Speaker
I love the one scene when the tiles fly off the shower. And first of all, there's like a group shower with like 12 naked women all at once. um Totally
Technical Difficulties During Recording
00:19:05
Speaker
plausible. And then the tiles fly out and like mutilate them. And he says, I'll give you three months free membership. And they're like, okay.
00:19:13
Speaker
Okay. So i actually put that one in my notes because I thought it was fantastic. Um, That whole yeah they're all see yeah Yes.
00:19:26
Speaker
ah
00:19:32
Speaker
Oh, man. Going through my notes, it's hard to it's hard to keep them organized because I went chronologically on my notes, of course. He also
00:19:44
Speaker
his understanding. yeah i was like what the hell ah that manly funk there's that whole sequence when he's like running around with just a leather coat and no shirt on it's like well i guess that's a statement in some way he's knocking on people's doors he's at the gym um Okay. L.A. in the eighties, dude. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. So if I'm going to wear a leather coat.
00:20:10
Speaker
I found my spot. ah This movie is and this take it into the editing category as well. It's almost got a rule that like every 10 minutes there has to be blood or nudity.
00:20:24
Speaker
It's one or the other. Every 10 minutes, something has to flash up on the screen. But we have that. ah shower scene which i happens at 23 minutes in and it's the second time that we see full nudity on screen and somehow there's acid showers and tiles flying off the wall but i'm not exactly sure how a possessed computer is in charge of those tiles unless she's also got poltergeist powers
00:20:57
Speaker
it's never clear but we can make some of assumptions but then like you said evans apologizes to two girls who were supposedly in the shower but they're both fully made up and looking like they're ready for a night out not like they were traumatized in a shower i'm also pretty sure neither of them were actually shown in the shower scene And then they're flirting with him. Yes. The two of them, or three of them, they're all flirting. There's there's a whole plot line where he like is ready to bang them. He is setting them up like, hey, I'll give you a private tour tomorrow. Can the two of you handle me? And they're like, oh yeah. It's it's the whole it's a whole story storyline right there. But David even says later in the control room, David even acknowledges that computers can't control the tiles.
00:21:54
Speaker
Right. So that that could be an acknowledgement that um it's poltergeist powers, but it's also an acknowledgement of a potential plot hole in here.
00:22:05
Speaker
But yes, anyways, ah character arc is very minimal for me.
00:22:14
Speaker
So with man, I definitely overscored on this one now that we're talking about it because you're right. It's just some people happen to live at the end, whereas the majority of the main or like even B characters in the story pretty much all die, with the exception of Michael and his now not blind girlfriend at the end, who's all hot and super healed up looking OK. It's a miracle like like 48 hours later. i It's what the hell sense does that make? But yeah, whatever. Go fiction.
00:22:44
Speaker
So, man, yeah, I definitely have to drop my score on this one because, i yeah, man. What did you give it? I'm curious. I gave it a three. I gave it a three. Okay. But I feel like in retrospect, I probably should have given it like a one.
00:23:02
Speaker
Mm hmm. Yeah, I'm kind of with you on there. There's not a lot of evolution, let's say of these characters. Although if you think about her um drastic recovery, it's like a Christmas miracle. She gets burned in a hot tub and a um tanning bed as well. And she's totally fine.
00:23:19
Speaker
So yeah she has a miraculous recovery. So you could. Hmm. You could acknowledge that. She gets two burns within... ah It's hard to tell in this movie because they cut back and forth from the gym to the house. Yeah, it's like 48 hours. She gets a chemical burn and then an actual like radiation burn from a tanning bed.
00:23:40
Speaker
Is that radiation? I assume it's radiation. I quite don't know. I think so. And I love that he takes her out. she's not She's not breathing and he gives her CPR like one breath and then she's fine again. It's magic. And somehow the tanning bed stole her breath. That is...
00:23:56
Speaker
Fantastic. So, Aaron, where did you land on your score? I gave it a three, but I'm kind of with Jonathan. I think I was probably too generous. You're coming down to one.
00:24:07
Speaker
Yeah, I can edit it up for you. ah yeah it's ah We do have Joel's reviews. We didn't. Joel was supposed to join us, but I don't don't know where he's at, guys. So but he gave it a two.
00:24:22
Speaker
And then Evan. out there in the chat, Evan, you got yours. You got yours. And while we wait for Evan to put it in the chat, I scored it a zero because the character arc is not compelling for me.
00:24:36
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, gosh, I'm not putting that one on the screen, Evan.
00:24:42
Speaker
I had Evan score evan I had your score at three are you sticking with it you can stick with it um I'm thinking yes yes sticking something so then let's go to music sound design there's really not a whole lot to say about this one there but this is one of the areas that I think this is the least offensive this is I actually really enjoy that they combined synths and string arrangements on it. They combined them and I think it works pretty well. Most of the time, ah it's, it is peak eighties sound. It is exactly what I expect. oh yeah And it's ex it, it is exactly what I expect in the way that it makes me enjoy it more.
00:25:34
Speaker
Uh, however, The ADR is noticeably bad at times when they, the voiceovers are there's the first scene in the hospital when Michael is going to check on Catherine and they're in the hallway and there's just that, are you here for Catherine? And it is clearly over the top of that video. Cause his lips don't even match up. It's noticeable. ah it and then Catherine's voice at the end is 80 yard and I think they were trying to go for a ghostly effect I think they were actually trying to modulate and edit her voice and it didn't exactly come through as believable so there are those things to consider in my score but while the music isn't super memorable we get some I'm not even sure if they're licensed because I'm
00:26:34
Speaker
AI might make tracks similar to what we hear in this film. But but there is some like 80s pop music going on in the background of a lot of scenes. and It makes it fun.
00:26:45
Speaker
It makes it fun. It works for me.
Musical Score Captures 80s Vibe
00:26:49
Speaker
Yeah, nothing special about the music part of it. I mean, although with the score parts of it, though, I did notice like maybe little bit of some oboe in there, you know, get some horns up in that action little bit. thought it was kind of cool. Aside from the mix of that, the 80s synth and the string stuff.
00:27:05
Speaker
So it kind of added a nice effect, especially like when you are looking at Michael's house, you know, when David shows up being all creepy. you know, trying to get all weird with like, oh I'm going fix your terminal and blah, blah, blah.
00:27:20
Speaker
So I mean, it works. The rest of it was just kind of there. I didn't really pay much attention. It would catch much with the music. So yeah it's just kind of whatever. See Travis. Thanks for hanging out.
00:27:31
Speaker
Aaron. So the music and sound design was the highest score for me. I i kind of loved it. It's understandable. It was nostalgic. It was fun. it was kind of off kilter at times, but it just sort of worked like thinking about all the the flaws with the film.
00:27:50
Speaker
The music worked for me. i don't know. I had a good time. that It was like a perfect match. You know what i mean? I completely agree with you. Like thinking of the flaws of the film, the music is not one of them. i think the music actually succeeds in places where editing doesn't you know i think the music works so i'm with you i did just give it a three i thought it was good music i thought it was good i did take off for the adr being noticeable so i gave it a three how about the sound of the frozen fish though attacking the detective in the freezer oh how how how whack was that let's
00:28:29
Speaker
or the What is going on with the frozen fish in the freezer? doesn't make sense. Why do you even have that in a spa? I don't understand why you would have big frozen fish in a freezer in a spa. For the fish smoothies, of course, because it looks like all they're making is smoothies. Mmm, chum smoothie. well why Okay, sure. yeah thanks, bro. No thanks. They're gross.
00:28:52
Speaker
They're gross. You're like your... fish sardine and sardine and pineapple smoothie after it's a protein shake that's protein gross but yeah as far as the category though i'm a three on it I gave him four, but a four. Like I said, that was the highest score. We're right there. And I think ah Evan said at the beginning, he also gave it a three on the sound design. So awesome.
00:29:18
Speaker
So we're all right there. We're in agreement on the music and sound design. So the editing and special effects, ah Joel gave it a three as well on that one. the editing and special effects for this film, this is one where, yeah, this is...
00:29:37
Speaker
i actually the special effects in this movie are a lot of fun i actually think some of the makeup is great and i'll let you interpret great however you want but i think it's awesome i think uh the flying tiles in the bathroom is so over the top the biggest I'm not even sure it's the biggest practical effect. The biggest practical effect is probably the hand in the blender, maybe.
00:30:11
Speaker
doesn't make any sense but yes no it's not connected to power it's they can't pull it off but it is not being driven by any kind of force other than and then it kills her and then she's dead ghost power and done like it's like yeah and dead again poltergeist wait a minute and the scene with the guy doing this is on the cover but the cover is more extreme than what's in the movie how how do How do you get broken ribs and blood spurting out from your arms coming back like this? That makes no fucking sense at all.
00:30:47
Speaker
mean, I can get my arms back pretty far, far than that guy had. Like, what the hell, man? Yeah. But it's like down way, like down far lower ribs. so Yeah, it's like where you're in these seams. It's like his bottom ribs are breaking or something. Like, how? How?
00:30:59
Speaker
Yeah. How? And why couldn't he just take his arms down? yeah right slide them out just you know yeah they strapped in or something they were strapped yeah he had like yeah he was like he had his arm up in a slip thing like would have okay but even so couldn't you pull your that's why i love that scene it encapsulates everything wrong with this movie it is like we have this really cool idea Let's do it.
00:31:28
Speaker
And then they don't think through all the details of it. Even i put down in my notes, even when that girl is in the basement after she goes to have her salacious rendezvous with Michael. With Michael. I love that he drew her a map.
00:31:44
Speaker
Like, how big is this gym? Just go to basement. Yeah, but the map and the note looks like a toddler drew it. The square, like, I'm here. Yeah, find me. And she's just like, oh yeah, I'm gonna, this is gonna be good in the basement. um But then she's down there and it starts spraying acid again, i guess. And She just lays on the floor and goes, ow, it hurts. Just move. Get the fuck out from under it. Get and away.
00:32:17
Speaker
Jesus. yeah They didn't go to any effort to like, her Achilles was cut. She tripped. There was no effort to explain why she can't leave. It's just...
00:32:28
Speaker
Oh, I'm getting rained on. and And it wasn't even clear that the ass that it was like acid burning or she just falls to the ground and like starts crawling around. Yes. And then then all of a sudden it's like, oh, it's melting. There was a little bit of a disconnect there.
00:32:42
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I said somehow in the basement, the sprinkler systems and pipes start melting this poor girl. I'm not sure how computer controls the plumbing.
00:32:54
Speaker
exactly again poltergeist powers we kind of got to go with this girl is also a poltergeist ghost but yeah instead of running she just screams there and cries that it hurts and she i think she even says like it's in my eye at one point like and then she waits like a day to die the psychic finds her the next day or something right she's still alive and then she dies in that very moment i think finds her So interesting that we talk about Chopping Mall because after we talked about Chopping Mall last year, I arrived at the conclusion that Chopping Mall was intentionally funny.
00:33:31
Speaker
I after watching it, I think it's Chopping Mall was very aware of itself. I think it put that humor in there on purpose and it's meant to be funny. this movie I don't think is meant to be funny. I don't think they were going for intentional humor because it's not laugh out loud scenes. It's just like if you stop and think about it it doesn't add up. So I think that is the difference between these two films.
00:33:58
Speaker
Yeah, agreed. But I will like we were saying this makes no sense.
Practical Effects Highlighted
00:34:04
Speaker
Why didn't like pop his shoulders out of place and he he'll be fine.
00:34:08
Speaker
But the effect was kind of cool I I kind of wish we had gone did you have the cover uh yes oh yeah I kind of wish we had gone let me see if I can blow you up full chestburster yeah like like hey does it show kind of yeah yeah I wish we had the middle right you can see his heart not quite the same thing as what's going on in the movie but yeah it's just certainly an embellished version of on the cover I feel so I feel like that image right there is what they base the entire film on. I feel like somebody drew that up and they were like, yes, make a movie out of this image. Yes. Creative. It makes a wet blood and we never see anybody on a stair stepper. That girl's on the stairs. Yeah. that No, that you couldn't afford that. No, couldn't afford that after all the computer equipment.
00:35:01
Speaker
all right there was before i forget there was seen one scene that i think was maybe intentionally funny or trying to be funny when the one girl is dressed like the ghost and you think oh my god this is the ghost of katherine and there's this whole scary build up and then she just takes the mask off she's like what don't you like my halloween costume so funny that's the only thing i could think maybe intentionally trying to be funny but it was just sort of uh so i was flat Yeah, I put in here that whole scene is great because just before we had seen Michael and his current girlfriend, Laura, with her covered eyes in their house doing that romantic date. And then the next moment we see them, they are in the club.
00:35:53
Speaker
They're at the gym and they're in the locker room where another girl was just murdered moments before. And Michael brings Laura, blinded, injured Laura into the locker room, abandons her to go to his office instead of just taking her with him.
00:36:14
Speaker
if because he has to go turn off a computer controlled lock. He's got a, let me go turn the lock off. I'll be right back. And so instead of taking her with him and protecting her the whole time, and then we have Darla who in that moment tries to scare the blind Laura by wearing a mask. Her Halloween wearing a Halloween costume.
00:36:37
Speaker
But then Michael runs in, removes the mask and then leaves. yeah without a word to Laura. And there's a girl, there's a dead girl in the locker that blind girl didn't see. Yeah.
00:36:54
Speaker
And then then the next scene, the very next scene, Michael and Laura are back in his house.
00:37:03
Speaker
they They did a little date. They went to the gym for him to go turn off a lock. and then they went back to the house i like the it doesn't make any sense but it's a memorable scene it's a memorable scene uh so the practical effects uh this is exactly what i hoped this conversation would be by the way so what about what about at the end though when like catherine's body where she's laid on the floor and like they start shooting her in the head and everything it's just that messed up corpse and everything
00:37:34
Speaker
oh the one that gets me that i think is pretty disgusting it's pretty gross is for some reason we have another naked couple in the sauna at the end while while mardi gras is going on two people have gone to the sauna and ah while they're there like they start to make out and then all of a sudden his head explodes For no reason. For no reason. Thank you. I love this Texas Chainsaw. I almost wore my Texas Chainsaw. For no reason. Next time. yeah yeah Yeah. No reason. His head just explodes. And then there's like meat falling on the floor. was gross. It was a pretty gross scene. was a gross scene.
00:38:16
Speaker
But she tries to run out and she gets it too, right? Does her head explode? I can't remember. So I couldn't tell if it was her or somewhere later, like when the whole gym starts to burn and collapse, there is a random shot of a naked woman running through flames. And I assume it was her. It's just a marine explosion. And just.
00:38:41
Speaker
it's just another quick shot of nudity for some reason again it's it's this movie man to draw the eyes gotta draw the eyes you know yeah follow that through the scene yeah it's not enough that in the midst of the carnage and the fire we gotta also have a naked person running just so we knew what happened to the person in the sauna i think yes yeah it has it has to be so for the practical effects i gave it a three i thought they were good um Evan gave it a four.
00:39:14
Speaker
What did you say, Jonathan? i I'm the same. I'm three. same Yeah, me too. I gave it a three. Okay. And then Joel gave us a four as well. All right. The script. The script. If you can't tell by now, we've kind of been talking about the script the whole time because the script is all over the place on this. Aaron, do you have something
Script Issues and Dialogue Gaps
00:39:37
Speaker
to say about it? I was just going to say, do you think there was a script? There. the dialogue was kind of shit so if the dialogue every scene of the detectives is basically the same they tell you information that you need to understand either the scene before it or the scene after it they don't do anything the detectives don't do a thing they just repeat information so and even in some scenes they repeat information that they already said in the previous scene
00:40:09
Speaker
Right. And the male detective has like these weird cracks about his wife. Like he doesn't like his wife, apparently. But then nothing ever. ah go ahead Go ahead. Yeah. The one about like, you know, ah his wife burned to a crisp. but Doesn't that make does that make you think? And he goes, yeah, I should start smoking in bed. Yes. What did he just say? It's so yeah he he has one-liners that i think i mean i used one of them in the intro video for this episode about what a program you have people like it's so effective people are disappearing they're getting so thin they're disappearing like he has a bunch of those one-liners and i do think for the most part they're pretty funny it's the it's a dry sense of humor that i do think is funny
00:40:57
Speaker
But his character, oh when he's drinking the carob coffee, but it' it's relatable. And then somehow he dies by frozen fish to the neck through poltergeist computer issue. It's fantastic. Yeah.
00:41:17
Speaker
yeah There's other scenes. the The parapsychologist, as he calls him, the parapsychologist. Dr. Murray. Also exists for two reasons. One of them is to explain the childbirth situation that he doesn't even fully explain.
00:41:37
Speaker
And the other is so that he can add to the body count. Does it? And smoke a lot of cigarettes. Yeah. you Chain smoking. Chain smokes. I kept waiting for a Marlboro product placement or like Virginia Slims or something, whatever they're called.
00:41:53
Speaker
um In fact, one thing before I forget, this movie would be a perfect drinking game for product placement. Oh, I actually had my eyes out once I started to catch on. Let me read through these. It's pretty. Oh, yeah. if you don't mind, we had McDonald's, Pepsi, Coca-Cola and Pepsi, which I thought was interesting. V8 juice, which was unexpected. Lay's potato chips. Wilson, the Wilson football NFL, the NFL logo shows up at one point to Nike. They're all wearing Nike um clothing, workout clothing. And AT&T had a spot too. Really? know If you're looking for a drinking game product placement in death spa.
00:42:37
Speaker
I love that. That sounds kind of fun. It's noteworthy. Yeah. Sounds like a sound knife with some friends. Yeah. yeah ah I also put there's that weird the weird scene before we understand what's going on with Catherine and David.
00:42:50
Speaker
ah
00:42:54
Speaker
Where we're panning across it appears to be a bedroom and we're seeing like discarded pieces of clothing and whatever. And we hear two voices talking and it's clearly one male and one female.
00:43:07
Speaker
And then, they're like, oh, we shouldn't be doing this, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it sounds like moaning and oh, oh, oh. And then do you know what the scene I'm talking about? Oh yeah. It was really creepy when he's sitting there getting himself made up and everything. He's got to look the, like the makeup of him. Yeah. And he's got the nightgown or whatever. And it's, it's, it's,
00:43:30
Speaker
it did It kind of creeped me out a little bit. Yeah, it's it's weird. It's weird. It is a weird scene of a Bates Motel thing. You know, it was in his mom, but it's brother and sister this time. Like, I don't know.
00:43:43
Speaker
Yeah. And I put like we have that scene that I showed at the beginning where this is all this is really all script related, where the detectives walk into the office and they ask about a missing girl. And then in the very next scene,
00:43:58
Speaker
Evans is with the paranormal investigator and the detectives are gone. Like this movie just makes jumps because it is going from scene to scene to scene. And like Aaron said, do I think there is a script?
00:44:12
Speaker
I'm not entirely sure. I think they had scenes. even They had some scenes and they didn't exactly know how they were all connected. and So i and I think that's evidence. I man, my favorite line, I almost put this as the intro, but it's the most famous line from this movie too, is the besides I'm beta your VHS.
00:44:40
Speaker
i It's so good. It's so good today. So good today. Yup. What do you guys think about the script?
00:44:51
Speaker
yeah I don't have much to say. I can say it's kind of dumb for the most part. Like I said, I wasn't really keen on a lot of the dialogue. I mean, it was kind of serviceable and it kind of strings you along, even though there's a lot of gaps and stuff.
00:45:04
Speaker
have a Yeah, yeah, Aaron. Yeah, i know I agree. Like I said, was there even a script? I felt like the whole backstory with the wife, the ex-wife, I guess, um was very flimsy at at best. um But I don't know. I don't think they were trying to be a, you know, an intellectual drama by any means. So at least they, they kind of knew what they were. And like, yeah Tim, like you said, there were, there was nudity or blood splatter every 10 minutes and they just kind of embraced that. And I think that's why, i mean, look, we're still talking about this movie decades later, but that's something right. That's something to be said. so yes. And I think you're entirely right. I think they embraced that whole, like,
00:45:51
Speaker
I guess maybe today the shock value has worn off, but maybe in 1988, I also think the straight to VHS crowd, you know, the shock value of this would have been semi memorable, you know? Oh yeah. Yeah. and Also okay got the Hillary banks thing that just, she got the job on fresh Prince of Belair because of this movie.
00:46:17
Speaker
That's crazy. Wow, I didn't know that. Karen Parsons. Yeah, she's one of the two who like wasn't in the shower, but was in the shower. of course According to the actual scene, she wasn't. According to the dialogue, she was. so And the girl who was wearing the mask, is that the same actress? She went on to do like Law and Order or something. That was. And I think she was in prison.
00:46:44
Speaker
prison right isn't there a horror movie called prison um i'm not sure that was darla darla was the one with the mask that was his uh okay that was his assistant who we found out was responsible for the diving board incident and the initial gas in the opening scene she took credit for that even though even though she wasn't there for the gas at the scene because they went out of their way to tell us that.
00:47:14
Speaker
And then the camera literally shows us the screws undoing themselves on the dining board, on the diving board, but somehow. na Doesn't add up. Yeah. Somehow it was Darla. She takes credit for it.
00:47:29
Speaker
Darla did it again. yep Oh, Darla. So i all right. I'm sure we'll bring up more things as we go that all go back to the script. I gave the script a one. I thought the script was pretty, it's pretty terrible.
00:47:46
Speaker
Actually, yeah, is one, one is bad. It's pretty bad. One is bad. Two is okay. So I, the script is just bad. it It makes leaps, jumps, scenes that don't need to exist.
00:48:02
Speaker
ah There's that whole scene
00:48:06
Speaker
That whole scene where David goes to Michael's house. Mm-hmm.
00:48:19
Speaker
isn and visits with Laura. Creeps her Yeah. And he just creeps her out. We see him accept groceries from someone who works at the gym.
00:48:30
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Accepts groceries from someone at Michael's house. And the girl who delivers the groceries goes, oh, I didn't expect to see you here. And she runs away like she's like, oh, I need to let Michael know. But the next scene is Michael already driving home.
00:48:47
Speaker
and finding the groceries, and then we just get a fake out death of Laura on the couch. It's said that David was there to do something with his terminal. but he was coding yeah but nothing ever comes of that scene other than the fake out death of laura we don't get anything about the terminal we don't get anything about that girl who saw david and ran away we don't get the scene of michael realizing that laura is alone with david and being like oh crap i need to get home and save her we don't get any of that from that scene so that scene could be deleted from the film and not impact
00:49:25
Speaker
anything that's what i would say yeah and that is kind of unfortunately that's kind of the gist of this movie there are a bunch of scenes that you could probably delete and it's still gonna play just fine so that's why that's why i'm a one i'm a one on the script i'm going down on my score i'm changing it to a two
00:49:51
Speaker
two I went with a two I did it too so I'll keep I'll stay with it too yeah it wasn't that horrible but like that whole part that dialogue between David and Laura though when he's creeping her out the house that was that was decent that worked out pretty well you know so I I think that led to it being somewhat having a script you know so it's all right And a lot of the scenes themselves are structured well.
00:50:18
Speaker
It's just as ah as a whole, they don't all fit together as well as you would expect. Yeah. And Evan says that they cut a lot out of this movie.
00:50:29
Speaker
And Evan, I would like to see all those scenes put back in because maybe it make more sense. Maybe it would fill in some of these gaps. Well, this edition says it's the uncut and uncensored from the uncut and uncensored camera negative.
00:50:47
Speaker
So how long? How long is it? It's 87 minutes. Yeah. Okay. That's the version I watched too. So 87 minutes that checks out.
00:50:57
Speaker
Well, yeah. So so we we miss some stuff, but there are some things that I put in here that um Just script wise, direction wise, editing, those are all kind of going hand in hand on this movie.
00:51:16
Speaker
ah There's a scene where the the staff are told to keep an eye out for someone dressed like Catherine. Instead of shutting down the party, they just tell you to look like someone who resembles her.
00:51:33
Speaker
David in drag. Look out for him. Yeah, he could be in drag. And then the detectives show up and he immediately grabs like a blonde girl and is like, oh, I thought I knew you. While the real Catherine walks right by him.
00:51:49
Speaker
by everyone no one notices her no one notices her no one notices they're all supposed to be on the lookout he's grabbing random blonde chicks that he thinks are Catherine but ignores the real Catherine wearing a ghostly white shroud walking through the right through uh yep anyways that's why I'm the one I'm getting I'm getting excited about this movie okay so acting All right, so the acting, I'll be honest, this is, it's not the worst thing I've ever seen.
00:52:25
Speaker
ah the The lead guy, Michael, actually ran a gym. He has real life experience in running gyms.
00:52:38
Speaker
i'm not sure he had much real life experience in acting but he he did for running the gym and we already mentioned i think the big takeaway here karen parsons literally getting the role in fresh prince because of this movie is insane to me uh
00:53:01
Speaker
I just think that's hilarious that some producer was watching this late night TV and it was like that girl. Yeah. Let's get her out.
00:53:13
Speaker
I'm looking her up, but I'm trying see. Oh yeah, you're right. There she is. Yeah. That's funny. But then we had Merritt Buttigieg who
00:53:27
Speaker
Oh.
00:53:29
Speaker
We had Buttric, who this was his last role, I think. Although it does say he did some TV. It's one of his last roles, I should say.
00:53:41
Speaker
But Buttric, who played David, was in a bunch of Star Trek stuff. He was in Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan, Star Trek Through the Search for Spock. He was in star Trek, The Next Generation TV series.
00:53:55
Speaker
ah he did a lot of like TV series, the 1987 beauty and the beast. So he did some stuff, but. my God. I didn't know that's so sad. twenty He was only 29 years old.
00:54:10
Speaker
Yeah. He died of AIDS. Wow. is That's too bad. And who was he in the middle? He was David. He was the twin brother. twin brother oh my gosh. Yeah.
00:54:23
Speaker
Yep. That's so sad.
00:54:28
Speaker
And then we had ah the detective was played by Francis McCarthy, who he was in the movie, the relic. He's actually in interstellar for you, Christopher Nolan buffs out there. He was in the man with two brains from 1983. He's done a bunch of, he was on NCIS.
00:54:50
Speaker
He's done a bunch of little bit parts, but yeah, he was boots in interstellar, which is crazy. Ooh, he was in rental too. Yeah. yeah bates motel supernatural so he he did quite a bit so there's some decent actors in this and i man i feel bad for rating them what i did because maybe it's the script's fault and not the actor's fault
00:55:22
Speaker
Do me to jump in? Go ahead. Yeah. Phenomenal cast. Chelsea Field was the one that I was thinking of. So she is Darla. She was in. It's amazing if you look at her resume. She was in the dark half. She was in Masters of the Universe. Commando.
00:55:37
Speaker
um We're doing Masters of the Universe later this season. Yeah. Yeah. It was Tila in Masters of the Universe. Yeah. and c She's in and NCIS. I mean, it's just look at all the dark half.
00:55:51
Speaker
um she was in 21 episodes of NCIS she had a regular recurring she's very and she was in prison that's the movie the 80s movie I was thinking of okay grinnie is it Rennie Harlan who did Nightmare on Elm Street 4 yeah and who did the recent Strangers I haven't seen the second one I know people are hating on it I I've heard the third is better than the other two, but I'm going to wait till they're all out and watch it as one continuous movie, which is how filmed. That's smart. Yeah.
00:56:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:27
Speaker
Yep. So Evan says acting was a three, but the script makes it hard to do much. I gave acting a three, two. Okay. Also a three. and I, I am going to come up, I give it a two, but I do think it's more the script's fault than it is the actors. Uh, Joel also gave it a two.
00:56:47
Speaker
So, all right, onto the direction. This one is tricky because typically direction is how well we bring all of these elements together for the final product, how the final vision, how well does the director execute it?
00:57:03
Speaker
And,
00:57:07
Speaker
I think the hard part about this is it's not good. Like it's not classy direction. it is not high art that this director is going for. And that's fine.
00:57:22
Speaker
I think he does some things that elevate the movie a little bit more than a lot of straight to VHS affair. For one, we have a great opening shot. I love the opening shot kind of going over the LA skyline and then slowly panning down and then traveling, panning down, seeing the exterior of the gym and then continuing into the front doors and giving us a tour of the gym. And it's a long,
00:57:51
Speaker
shot it takes probably two minutes of the shot i it works for me i think it's pretty good and there are other scenes where like we were talking about there's that scene where david and his sister are talking and it's a continuous shot and they're just kind of panning across all of these elements that are supposed to help put together the clues for us and they don't so i think He succeeds
Direction and 80s Aesthetic
00:58:19
Speaker
on that. He succeeds on the gym life, capturing that kind of over-the-top high, ah
00:58:28
Speaker
I don't know, just the extreme.
00:58:33
Speaker
Fancy 80s Jim, he captures that decently. The movie's colorful. The movie is fast paced. And I do think they were going for that kind of schlock value of we need boobs or blood every 10 minutes.
00:58:49
Speaker
I think that was like the rule because I think it was the rule more because the final product has scenes were like, okay, how did Evan or how did Michael just get from this scene to this scene with zero explanation?
00:59:03
Speaker
Where did where did the detectives that he was just talking to vanish? And I think it's because they were like, hey, something's got to happen. Give us one of the bees. So, yeah.
00:59:20
Speaker
Go for it. You can talk about direction all you want. Like, it's not my good thing. And I'm having like really bad allergy issues right now. Oh, no. Yeah, I was wondering. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, you see me wiping tears. It's not because of how bad the movie is. It's just that my allergies are kicking the shit out of me today. oh gosh. That's horrible. Weather out here. It's like issues I'm having. Changing the YouTube thumbnail to say the movie that brought Jonathan to tears. Tears. It was directed so well.
00:59:47
Speaker
Yes. Crying. Oh, my gosh. One thing about living in the Northeast this time of year, it's freezing out. It's like 12 degrees outside. So there are no allergies for me. And I'll take it. Look at you. Yeah. It was like. It was three degrees outside yesterday. Today was almost 40. So that was nice. Yeah.
01:00:07
Speaker
Oh. OK, what are we talking about? Direction. um Yeah, I don't know. I i gave it i gave it a three. i Again, going back to the the fun factor, I think.
01:00:21
Speaker
So here, let me say this. i This seems like a film where everyone on set was having an absolute blast. Like this was a lot of fun. And they knew it was kind of dumb fun. And they kind of leaned into that. And I'd like to think that, I mean, it could have been an awful vibe on set. I have no idea. But I'd like to think that the director sort of created that fun energy, that fun vibe. And it kind of bleeds through, you know, watching it. It seems like everyone involved here had a lot of fun with it. And if that is true, then I would attribute that to the director, who's the one who's supposed to be in charge of everything, sort of creating that atmosphere.
01:01:02
Speaker
And I have no idea. Like I said, I wasn't there. So who knows? yu maybe Maybe they all hated each other. That is a excellent point. That is an excellent point. I gave it a three as well because I. i
01:01:16
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think the direction is necessarily ultimately he's responsible for the final product is the way I view it, even though, yes, we know a studio can interfere, but.
01:01:27
Speaker
I think he made some smart decisions and like, Hey, this script is pretty light. So let's keep it visually engaging. It's colorful, it's fast and it is fun. So I think he succeeds in that department. So I give it a three. Good.
01:01:44
Speaker
He did, he write it. I'm looking it up. He did not write it. There were actually two screenwriters. which which just blows my mind. Okay. this So there's two people.
01:01:56
Speaker
This one screenwriter only did one other thing and that was called What's Happening Now. He wrote one episode of that and Death Spa. Oh, Mitch Paradise did a few other things.
01:02:07
Speaker
Mitch Paradise wrote an episode of Remington Steel. He did some TV shows, but not at all. Jake and the Fat Man. oh yeah jake and the fat man uh makes you wonder the director michael fisher what was it about this script he's like hell yeah i'm filming this movie yeah and it was know well i think it was his idea i wouldn't think because he was living well yeah i don't know why he didn't write the script but he was living in la and he said at the time gyms were popping up everywhere and putting each other out of business and you said that okay
01:02:46
Speaker
yeah and so he was just kind of inspired to do this movie because of that but he's still working he directed i don't know this looks like saw yeah this looks it might be scandalous 2023 yeah yeah the most recent thing rice girl that looks terrible rice girl goes to Hollywood is his most recent rice girl before that uh he has done some other horror movies Dead Time Stories volume one Dead Time Stories volume two white screech death spa was his first he followed this up with my mom's a werewolf
01:03:29
Speaker
I think I remember that movie. which that That's a PG 1989 horror film. it looks It looks like it'd be a ton of fun, in all honesty. And it's got, oh, no way. It's got John Saxon, detective from ah Black Christmas.
01:03:45
Speaker
Yes, of course. Sheriff from Nightmare on Elm Street. theses Yeah, it's got him in it. so And it's the poster is a knockoff of The Graduate.
01:03:57
Speaker
which is awesome but don't forget it don't forget the bees because there he right there
01:04:06
Speaker
my bees are right here my movies are off but yeah so but rice girl goes goes to Hollywood Pat Morita is in it from Karate Kid oh okay Michael Cove who was in all the Karate Kid films Why is this labeled as a TV series? Michael Cove.
01:04:30
Speaker
That's crazy. He actually just did one of those, you know how like you can, pace a celebrity to like make a special message for you for like an event or birthday thing yeah yeah what's called so the martial arts school that i that i trained and got my black belt out in in illinois national christian chicago they had him do a video like one of those things for the anniversary of the martial arts school which is pretty cool and like they just got like a uh the Master Nelson, who runs the Chicago branch for National Karate, just got like a huge award for his contribution to martial arts. And then got like another special message from from him for that, which is pretty cool
01:05:07
Speaker
That's pretty cool. I think those are cameos. Yeah, cameo. That's what it is. We got two cameos for our wedding. Okay, cool. You pay them, right? And they'll give you a shout out or something. Yep. You pay and they'll so send you a little personalized video. And some of them are clearly just reading a script and swapping out names. We got two for our wedding. One of them was like a script where they changed the names. The other one was very like...
01:05:35
Speaker
casual personal and really cool so they are cool gifts they are cool gifts those things are awesome all right i think that wraps up direction jonathan did you give your score on it three three we're threes all across the board and and so was joel and then evan also was a three the it factor and the cultural significance of this film sure oh i I can't say that it really has
Cultural Impact Debate
01:06:06
Speaker
much of a cultural significance, really.
01:06:10
Speaker
a
01:06:14
Speaker
I so I can tell you at my score right now because there's not a lot to talk about on this one. um I gave it a one and I gave it a one because we would not have Karen Parsons in Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I didn't want to say it. That is it. That's all I can think of. That's all I can think of. So I gave i give it a one. And we're still talking about it today.
01:06:40
Speaker
i don't see it making anybody's like, this is my favorite, whatever list. um I don't see a lot of people talking about it, but I do see it talked about. I think more people should be talking about this movie.
01:06:55
Speaker
But and that's why we brought it up. That's why I put it on this year's list. Because this movie, has it's one I go back to. Evan gives it a two on cultural significance as well. So I didn't know anything about this movie until I saw it was on our list for the season. So this is one of the ones that I was like, Ooh, Jonathan's either going to hate this or or, or he's going to have fun with it. I was curious to see what you think. Don't hate it as much as I hate certain films we've, we we've covered, but yes okay it's getting on the list there.
01:07:28
Speaker
I don't know. You guys are gonna, you're gonna hate me. i actually gave it a, your day I gave it a four because I thought it's almost, it's like a time capsule of the eighties. So funny story. I was watching it the other night in my basement and my teenage son came in and he said, wow, did people actually dress like that? And it was one of the scenes where the the guy had like leg warmers up to his knees and they were all dancing in the studio. i was like, they did. And so I feel like that kind of gives it a cultural presence and sort of an it factor just for the sake of capturing that time period so well.
01:08:06
Speaker
That's that's absolutely fair because and now that you mention it, I put in my notes something about like, early on in the scene, the girl who gets smacked by the diving board, she's like, we see all the spandex around in the weight room. And this girl's just I was like, I know, like the spandex was out of control in the gym scene in the eighty s yeah but she's literally just wearing a swimsuit in the weight room. Right, that's it. Yeah, she's just wearing a swimsuit. I put that in my notes. But yeah, I think you actually- So I don't know, maybe I misinterpreted that. I think you made a good case and I'm actually willing, I'm gonna come up to it too, because it does capture that cultural gym craze of the 80s better than any movie.
01:08:57
Speaker
i've ever seen like there are movies that have the gym in them in the 80s there's not a movie like this though that's not what's centered around it specifically yes oh we've got the we've got the shake bar here we you can get a you can get a smoothie bar right there you can get the smoothie you got coffee We've got one elliptical here in the corner. We've got saunas. We've got custom key cards. Like, yeah, I haven't seen a movie that really captures that. So I i agree with you. I'm going to come up to two on mine.
01:09:30
Speaker
I'm not changing mine. i That's just fine. That's fine. It would have been funnier because like. When you think about gym culture and all the different workout equipment and different things that have come out over the years and how they kind of make their way back and just be rebranded and stuff. I saw one the other day that's being advertised online a lot, and it's it's it's two separate things. They've got a handle, a large spring and a rounded knob cap at the end that you wave back and forth like this, like the giant dildos springing around. They're supposed to simulate doing one of those the the ropes, the ropes. and Oh, yeah. You do. Yeah, to flip the ropes, but it just looks like two giant spring dildos that you're swinging around. You know, that would have made a little more impact in the film if they had something like that to make me laugh a little more.
01:10:16
Speaker
Have you seen that the clips where the newscasters will do that? They'll hit like these workout things and I don't even want to simulate it, but the shake weight. Oh my God. i ah Just air jacking it, you know, the shake weights in the studio. Oh yeah, this is so great. I can feel it. I can feel it in my muscles. We like to take the occasional trip to ah Goodwill thrift stores around here.
01:10:43
Speaker
and Look for those. we went We went in and there was just a shake weight on the shelf. And I picked this thing up and I'm like, what is this for?
01:10:56
Speaker
wait This is it. That's it. That's all it does. That is all it does. And they they got, people were going crazy about the Shake Wave for a while. Oh my gosh. yeah What are you doing?
01:11:08
Speaker
I don't know how that ever, how that ever passed, how that was on TV. It's insane. All right. So let's do the overall. How entertained were you? Where does this land on your list?
01:11:24
Speaker
Who wants to go first? I can tell you Joel Joel gave it a three he was not super entertained with it maybe that's why he's not here that's that's fair I don't know so for me though I I had a hard time keeping focus on it you know I would watch watch watch I kind of like look at my phone keep looking at my phone it just it was hard to just really watch it straight you know so i mean there was some cool stuff some goofy shit make me laugh a little bit but like some of the just how bad some of the parts of the plot were just really didn't hit for me so it's something that i could watch certainly wouldn't recommend again to anybody don't care it's not something i'd be interested in trying to watch again in the future so you know for me like this i usually don't score this low but it's just i just just had a hard time wanting to keep focus on it so i went with a six hey
01:12:23
Speaker
That's fair. That's fine. ah Evan, it looks like also gave it a six. So, Aaron, you want to go? Yeah, i gave it a high because I have gave it an eight. I have a lot of fun with it.
01:12:36
Speaker
um I love it for what it is. and I don't know. I'll just leave it at that. I love that all this shit happens in the gym and then everyone just like moves on. It's kind of like the gym culture today, right? If you're on the machine and your ribs split ah split open, there's going to be a guy be like, are you done with the machine yet? Yeah. yeah It's my turn, bro. Come on, hurry up. yeah yeah Wipe down the seats. Get your blood off of it. How many more sets do you have? Right? ah yeah I'm joking. God, they sure make gym going seem like a lot of fun in this movie, except when you're killed when you're getting killed. It's not so fun. but i don't know. Eight for me. I enjoyed it.
01:13:16
Speaker
These people in the movie live in the gym. like For two whole days, we see these characters there constantly they must not have jobs or it's Saturday or something because yeah they're just there all the time but most of the time they're not working out most time it's female characters in the locker room the sauna or the pool hanging out yeah there's no way there's no way i
Diverse Ratings and Final Thoughts
01:13:46
Speaker
All right. So this is this is where it gets crazy, guys. um
01:13:50
Speaker
I think horror is at its most successful when it does one of two things. We kicked off the season by talking about Bring Her Back, which disturbs me on multiple levels and is a fantastic film. That's one way that horror is successful.
01:14:08
Speaker
That's fantastic. The second way that horror is successful is being extremely entertaining. And that is this movie for me. And I i give it a 10 because I would, 10 for me is to turn around and watch it again. I gave Bring Her Back 9 because I don't want to watch it again.
01:14:29
Speaker
it's a rough watch it's hard to watch however the quality of that movie makes the final score much higher the final score on this one is not that high but my enjoyment of this movie this is a movie I can throw on in the background anytime this is a movie I can sit down and watch I'm gonna laugh at it for its absurdity I'm gonna have it's got that eighty s it It is the 80s time capsule, like Aaron was saying, we got cheesy synth music. We've got spandex out the butt. It's everywhere. It's there is we have one of the two bees happening on screens every 10 minutes.
01:15:06
Speaker
So it is constant stimulation. I have a ton of fun with this. Even Michael living in like the ultra modern 80s apartment with like glass tables and metal and all that.
01:15:23
Speaker
It's just so cheesy. It's over the top and I have so much fun with it. So then our final scores. Uh, Joel, his total was a 24. So two and a half stars out of five. And then ah did I miss? Did Evan? Yes. Evan gave it a six. I think I put that up already. Evan gave it a six and which brings Evans total score is a 33 Evan.
01:15:51
Speaker
And then Aaron, do you have your total?
01:15:56
Speaker
How do I find my total? have I have the email. Where is it? Yeah, the email doesn't total it. It gives you everything else. You're a 30. You're a 30. So three out of five stars. Jonathan?
01:16:07
Speaker
I think after my changes, I'm down to a 25. That's correct. So you're two and a half out of five stars. And then I am a 29. So I am also basically three out of five stars. And I didn't do the math ahead of time. So let me do the, we need like the jeopardy music while I add this up to get the total. While you're the math, you mentioned his eighties apartment.
01:16:30
Speaker
Did you notice how like the dining room table is like on this weird platform? But then like one, a couple of the chairs are like this close to the edge. It's like a six foot drop. Imagine imagine having a dinner party and someone off the ledge, they go, right?
01:16:46
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, but it was so 80s. That I also think about the scene when David shows up and is talking to Kath or Laura and he goes to the desk, but the desk is like suspended between two wires.
01:17:03
Speaker
It's not on actual legs. It's got anchors holding it up. I'm like, this must have been like the director's house. I don't, this wasn't a set. This is something I bet you're right. Yeah. It wasn't a desk. It was a hanging bed. I'm kidding. Probably. It seems like there would be one in that Double purpose. Yeah. So the final average for this comes out to a 28.2 or a 28, which would actually round to a 30 out of 50 or three stars out of five and this is one where i do think so our whole like tagline is movie reviews for social settings and i think you get a bunch of horror nerds together use that term lovingly i'm some people take offense to nerd i'm proudly a nerd so i'm fine with that
01:17:53
Speaker
um you get a bunch of them together this movie is going to be a blast this movie is going to work it's going to be fun you're going to be laughing together do it the drinking game that aaron brought up you say like dream it's going to be a good good time yeah yes it is this is a perfect movie to kind of watch with other horror b movie loving friends this movie works for that and if you're sitting down with people who are like christopher nolan is the best director that i've ever like like they're not gonna like this and that's fine
01:18:26
Speaker
It's not for them. It's not for them. So i I do think the three out of five is fair because i think there's a lot of enjoyment to be had in this kind of garbage film. Mm-hmm.
01:18:40
Speaker
I just had an idea to take the drinking game one step further. So not only product placement, nudity and blood. So anytime those items come up, you're getting trashed. You're getting trashed. Right. but How much fun would that with a group a group of folks? Like, oh my God, Pepsi. I love the V8 juice placement. That was the last thing I expected to see. you're gonna have to you would have to drink like seagram's wine coolers because they're only four percent that way you can walk out of there because you're gonna be drinking constantly shots of farm mad dog 2020. perfect for the 80s right get some bartles and james now secret it's uh
01:19:23
Speaker
oh i was every time an asparegrapht ah asparagus is eaten seductively finish your drink uh all right jonathan are you ready to read us out is that it i i got no more comments on this one yeah aaron i'm good man and i said everything i wanted to all right what what were you gonna ask me though nope thank you for joining us that's all and i'll give you a chance to plug your stuff here in our okay in our exit so evan thanks for hanging out in the chat and joining us and travis
01:20:02
Speaker
All right, Jonathan, go for it. All right. There you have it, folks. The scores are in the audience has spoken, and Death Spa has officially been processed. Whether you call it a practical effects extravaganza or you're still sticking with the international title, which bitch, one thing is for sure, we are never looking at a Jim Blender the same way again.
01:20:24
Speaker
Huge thank you to Aaron for joining us tonight. It was a blast. So Aaron, if you want to go ahead and plug, tell people where to find you and what you do and all the good stuff. Yeah, absolutely. I just want to say though, you two are awesome. Thank you so much for having me on. I was looking forward to this all week and like always, it was ah it was a total blast. You guys are are amazing.
01:20:45
Speaker
I had a good time. Let's, gosh, let's see. So you can find me on YouTube, A&B Horror Movies. I've got a couple of videos coming up. The I've got bad things with the director and producer and one of the actors that will be coming up next week. um I got to sit down with Mickey Keating and Joe Swanberg to talk about Invader that's coming up as well. And Martyn Smith's to talk about meat kills. And I did my last two videos with the Dream Eater, with the directors and actors and John Berardo talking about the mannequins. So that's the latest with my YouTube channel.
01:21:20
Speaker
And you can also find me on Instagram at Aaron's movies, eight, five, eight, seven, where I post all my physical media collection and love for horror movies. And that's where I met you guys. So yeah, that's how you can find me again. Thanks. Thank you so much for having me on you. You guys are rock stars so much fun.
01:21:40
Speaker
Thanks. that i praise I appreciate that. I think we are about. Yes, thank you so much. I think we are about a year away from your very first time joining us when we first connected because we've reviewed Wolfman last year and that was our remember that was our first episode together.
01:21:58
Speaker
But that was like a February release, I think. so And we did one in between, right? Pumpkinhead? Yeah. Okay, so this is our third. Very cool. Yeah, we did Pumpkinhead for Halloween. Yeah, yeah. We did. And then always a regular over at the Dread broadcast. He's there every month. so Of course.
01:22:14
Speaker
all right but aaron is an absolute pro so aaron thank you again you made surviving this workout a whole lot easier well you have a very well hell yeah so we'll be updating uh the season four leaderboard on our letterbox tonight go check it out to see exactly where death spa has landed and how it's stacking up against the rest of our lineup But don't get too comfortable because in two weeks we are trading the haunted gym for a high speed locomotive. We are reviewing the 2022 action extravaganza Bullet Train starring Brad Pitt.
01:22:52
Speaker
Love that movie. I am so excited for this one. So much fun. It's neon drenched, it's fast paced, and it's got a cast of assassins that might actually be crazier than the ghost of a vengeful spa owner.
01:23:03
Speaker
We're going to find out if the style outweighs the substance when we put it through the scorecard next Wednesday at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard, 7 Central. So be there to join us. If you enjoyed the show, do us a favor. Hit that subscribe button. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and keep those scorecards coming in We love seeing how your averages compare to ours.
01:23:28
Speaker
So until next time, I'm Jonathan. And I'm Tim. This has been The Average. Where the real review happens with your friends. We'll catch you on the train.
01:23:39
Speaker
Woohoo! Choo-choo!
01:24:02
Speaker
you