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TSP Ep 115: Dealing Fatigue or Brain Drain
47 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, Tom and Steve discuss how to deal with brain drain, the felling of being unable to get past mental exhaustion. It gets a little sad and it gets pretty real about being able to finish their first feature, Dead Head.
So come along with us as we learn a thing or two!
This episode of TSP is sponsored by Liquid IV. If you're thirsty go to the bar! Or buy some Liquid IV for 20% off when you go to the link:
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Transcript
Introduction to Twin Shadows Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Well, one of them broke right away. So maybe because it broke. That definitely breaking is probably bad. It just doesn't connect properly. Well, we are live, buddy. Oh, shit.
00:00:11
Speaker
We are live. So settle in everyone and welcome to Twin Shadows podcast. Yes, we are alive. We are back and recording. The podcast is about film filmmaking and filmmakers. I think we've only missed one episode one week. Yeah. Because we had quite a nice buildup there for a while. Like we were going real hard for on the long episodes. Yeah. I was really milking it a little bit there on
00:00:32
Speaker
Like, well, Tom seems tired this week. Let's make this two episodes, especially for Jared and Clark, because that could have been shortened into two parts. Well, that's going to probably eventually be like a four part series. Like every time we interview them, it's a long series because we like talking with them so much. But yeah, we're back for this is TSP 114. The file name is 115 because it already was a folder for 114. So I don't know if you already made it. I didn't want to overwrite it. Wait, what episode are we on?
00:01:00
Speaker
115? Well, I made the folder for 115. There was already a folder for 114. So maybe we have just a hidden episode in there somewhere. No, we might be on one.
00:01:09
Speaker
Yeah, this is TSP episode. Yeah, Brain Drain. Brain Drain. That's the name of the game. And so we're going to crack open this episode with some introductions, buddy.
Hosts Reconnect After Break
00:01:21
Speaker
So how are you doing? How you been? It's been a while. I mean, we've had episodes coming out, but we haven't met to podcast in a month, I think. Not a month. We haven't podcasted since I went to New Beverly, and that was last month on the 18th.
00:01:36
Speaker
So it's been... Well, the podcast is probably a month. Yeah. Oh, shit. I guess everything then, huh? Yeah. We edited a little... No, we did the podcast like two weeks ago. Yeah. Or three weeks ago. So it hasn't been that long. You weren't at the new Beverly though.
00:01:53
Speaker
This was before that. So that's been a month. It's been like three weeks, which was actually probably the Friday before I went. Yeah. Well, I mean, I do work on the podcast. I'm always hearing your voice and you talking about film. So for me, there's always a more close connection, I guess, to all the work in that sense, or at least us meeting and talking about the work. Yeah.
00:02:17
Speaker
but like this episode is about and I think you and I are both kind of going through this to and what we'll get into on the main topic but this kind of idea of brain drain and dude I've just I don't know this last week I was pretty out of it and I tried to do work and I couldn't and in this week I haven't been working it's like you know what I'm not feeling it
00:02:43
Speaker
I did get a lot of work done that like met a couple goals on different various projects.
A Visit to New Beverly Cinema - A Spiritual Experience?
00:02:51
Speaker
And maybe the accomplishment made me fatigue out a little bit more because, you know, across the finish line, so like, finally lay down and rest.
00:03:02
Speaker
You know, I've been out of it, but things have been going good. We haven't met since the new Beverly, so I do want you to tell me about that. Yeah, so I went to the new Beverly to see Evil Dead Superstition and Trick or Treat. Evil Dead Superstition. Oh, that was the other movie. Evil Dead 2. I thought it was Evil Dead. Evil Dead Superstition. What's that? Yeah, so it was a triple feature night, and I haven't been to the new Beverly yet. First time.
00:03:29
Speaker
I remember I'd gotten new tickets for your birthday to go, but I think I got sick or Katie was sick. Something happened. And we didn't make it. And so I was like, damn it. And it was a Veronica Lake night and I really wanted to see that. But yeah.
00:03:45
Speaker
Saw Evil did too. I will say going to the new Beverly for a film fan like me, it's like a spiritual awakening. It really did kind of revitalize. It's like, oh yeah, this is why we do this. This is why we do what we do. Because when you're sitting, there's a huge difference when you're sitting in an audience of people that are there to really enjoy the movie. And every beat is just like, you feel the energy in the room. Like when the camera zooms in and Ash goes,
00:04:13
Speaker
You know, it's like everyone's gonna go crazy. The audience is just going nuts and everyone's cracking up. And it's like, man, you know, damn, there is some energy in going to the movies. And I, you know, I don't, I don't really get that experience in theaters too much.
00:04:28
Speaker
These days, um, I used to get that all the time when I would go. Yeah, but I'll say this to counter what you're saying, you don't go to the movies anymore. Let alone, I think probably you don't go to any like premiere or opening weekend. That's true. No means anymore. Right. I don't think I haven't been especially after COVID it's like.
00:04:47
Speaker
I haven't been to an opening night since COVID for any movie. Like I haven't, I don't go. I really don't, well, we're almost, we almost are always a meeting on Friday. So I don't go to the movies on Fridays and let, but actually I only go to the movies on Fridays. What am I talking about? That's like the only time I do go, but I almost never see the, the new showing. Cause I've seen quite a few movies this year. Cause I'll go after work. Really? Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. I'll go off to work if we're not podcasting. So you're doing what I'm doing now.
00:05:12
Speaker
or what I used to do back in the day before COVID, which on Tuesdays for the discount, I'd just be like, you know what, let's finish work early, not stay over. And also the theater stayed open late, they'd have 10 p.m. showings. Yeah. Well, it's especially for me, it's nice to kill the traffic.
00:05:30
Speaker
Because I can always drive over the mountain and that's like a guaranteed two hour, two and a half hour drive. But then if I stay until like eight o'clock watching a movie, I'll get home at like nine, nine, 20. That fast? Yeah, it's like, it's so crazy. Taking the 15. Yeah, 210 to the 15, yeah. Wow, what a difference, dude. Yeah, because if I take the 210 regularly, it's like three hour drive home.
00:05:57
Speaker
Yeah. Well, like for us, Los Angeles sounds far away and it is to an extent because of traffic, but really from where we live, it's only an hour and a half away without traffic.
00:06:07
Speaker
With that, yeah. Or even less depending on where you're going to. That's fair too. If you're going deeper or if you're going like south, like downtown, that area, that's going to probably take you like 30 more extra minutes. Yeah, because that's usually where I end up is downtown or Santa Monica, like closer to that area. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, L.A. so close and.
00:06:30
Speaker
That's cool that you do that, cause there's just so much out there. And so when you do that, do you see, and then we'll get back to New Beverly, sorry for the tension, but do you go and see like more of the indie films, like the Lamille, is that what it's called? Yeah, the Lamille or whatever. Yeah. No, we almost always go to the look. Like when I, I'll talk a coworker into going or something, or Saul will go with me. And they just play mainstream stuff or what is it? They play, they play,
00:06:56
Speaker
They're like a middle, a medium. The look is like a medium theater. Like they'll play, they'll play our house movies. They're not going to play like a foreign movie or something like that. But, and they also run them longer. They'll run those like indie movies longer. Like they are still running. Don't talk to me or whatever. Don't talk to me. Oh, that's cool. Cause I want to, I did want to see that, but I don't think that's an out here anymore. Yeah. That's what I love about LA is like those movies run way longer out there. Like you can, like you can probably find a movie theater playing a movie that came out two months ago. Oh wow. Probably. Yeah.
00:07:26
Speaker
Um, but, um, yeah, that's what I'll normally do. And then like, that's what I'll watch. Like, that's how I saw Creed three and John Wick four. I'll go see those. Yeah. Because like, I was like, Oh, I really wanted to see like, we'll kind of get a feel for what like the mainstream is coming out. Cause damn, it's, it's, I don't know. I think it's pretty rough out there, but then you go and you see.
00:07:48
Speaker
Evil Dead 2, or Superstition, at the new bev. And it's like, I think the whole night was $12 a person, right? And it's like, this is, it's affordable, it's fun. The seating is, I thought the seats were fine. Oh, they weren't too bad, because I kind of hate the seating. But I was also pretty obliterated. Well, I hate it because it's the old school seating, so if you have someone tall like you and Katie, I'm sure the people behind you hate you guys.
00:08:16
Speaker
And then also, you know, there's not a lot of leg space because it's like the old, it's an old theater. You know, he didn't really change that feeling. I mean, I'm sure he revamped it, made it nicer, new carpets and stuff. But yeah, because I mean, it's really that it's not like a big screen either. Like, no, the screen, it's like a one screen theater that you would just.
00:08:36
Speaker
You know, go to in the olden days. Yeah. Yeah. I just kept that feeling of and then seen it off film because the last time I went, I went with my cousins, Sean and his family, and we saw Indiana Jones. You know, and I was. Can you have Crystal School? Raiders of the Lost Ark. And yeah, I forget how many. I only count like two. I saw the new one. Oh, but.
00:09:00
Speaker
You know, we went to go see it. And yeah, you know, and it's I
Appreciating the Imperfections of Film
00:09:05
Speaker
mean, maybe it's just for the novelty of it, but it's kind of cool to see where they have the film change on the real or the real change. And then it like cuts to a shitty real. It's all like gravy and the audio is terrible. It colories a lot. But there's just some there's just a certain magic to it, I guess, because it is.
00:09:26
Speaker
I mean it played during those times, right? Yeah. Like the Evil Dead 2 you saw. Yeah, well those prints are like from the time that they were making those prints and then they've been restored or some of them have been like actually like restored. Yeah. Or they've made like new prints from the negative. Yeah. I'm not entirely sure how all that works.
00:09:47
Speaker
Like does someone just had like this who owns it right because I was one thing that they were talking about is People will buy like the rights to the film Oh and then they can make copies of the film and but they can kind of like suitably distribute that I don't know. It's really weird Well, I think a lot of them come from Tarantino
00:10:04
Speaker
Yes, a lot of them are his prints. Yeah. Which is really cool. He just comes like, hey, I want everyone to see the Eddy Vildet too. Here's my print. Like, that's fucking cool. It's like, what? This is what he watches at home? That's kind of cool. You know, it's interesting you talk about how there's like the quality because on the second film, Superstition, there was like a slight hum over the audio track. Yeah. And I actually really liked it because it really, it kind of like,
00:10:31
Speaker
It was almost like when you listen to white noise, and then it's layered over the track. So it kind of helped focus me. And it sounded crappy, obviously, because it wasn't crystal clear, great audio. But I mean, it totally worked. It totally worked. And I was thinking about it because I was like, damn, you know what? Maybe it's not so much about...
00:10:53
Speaker
everything being perfect as much as it's like can you just grab the audience and hold them yeah and i think you know to go off on another tangent because it's been so long so we're gonna tangent i'm sure on this oh yeah we haven't talked in a while buckle up you know that's probably why
00:11:11
Speaker
That's probably an issue with all these high fidelity films is because they're so perfect. When you do see that blemish, it really takes you out. Like if you see how bad CGI looks, it can take you out. If the audio is not perfect, it's going to definitely take you out.
00:11:29
Speaker
And I think that's probably one of the negatives to all of these high fidelity cameras that we use now, like even the Blackmagic, I think it can capture some pretty high fidelity and also in the like higher FPS, you know, it just creates that uncanny kind of feeling to things. Yeah, our old man eyes aren't trained to see them. What is that what it really looks like? Well, they say people,
00:11:57
Speaker
are accustomed to the 24 frames per second, and that's why we prefer it, but I don't think that's true.
00:12:03
Speaker
You're probably right. I mean, if you think about it, I mean... Because wouldn't 60 FPS be how our eyes see? No, right? I think our eyes see... I don't know what our eyes actually see, like our natural FPS, I guess. Yeah, I don't know what that would be. I don't really know. Because I was thinking 60, but that's only 60 frames per second and we see faster than one frame per second, right? Because we're reading light. Yeah, I would guess it's probably pretty quick.
00:12:30
Speaker
Um, but it just feels weird to see that shit. It does. And also too, everything feels, uh, overproduced in the sense that like, yeah, that's true too. And I don't know if this is just like a mainstream thing, but like there's like a,
00:12:45
Speaker
tone to the colors in big movies and like really expensive movies that it's just so ugly. Like for some reason everything just looks really clean. It's like the JJ Abrams effect. Nothing actually looks like anyone lived in it. That's true too. Yeah, it's very rare to see some like
00:13:11
Speaker
Really good set design. I think in really expensive movies because I feel like they just, unless they're actually on location, it's just like, man, you can tell this is a fake set. It's all there in a green screen or they're in like one of those rooms that have like the LCD screens all around them projecting it. And there's just something, I don't know.
00:13:32
Speaker
Go watch Thief. It takes me out personally, is what I'll say. It does. And I mean, when there's nicer alternatives, you can go watch movies like A Wounded Faun that has really nice cinematography. Yeah. And everything just looks good and the lighting is dynamic and unique and interesting. And it's like, oh, nice. They still make movies like this. Okay, good.
00:13:54
Speaker
They're still making movies that look really good. This is where the Koreans really knock out the park. Koreans always have crazy good set design, good cinematography, good lighting, all around. And here's another tangent. We're going to do it all day.
Sound of Freedom - Understanding the Backlash?
00:14:13
Speaker
Because we haven't talked about this film, but I think it's really important. Sound of freedom.
00:14:18
Speaker
Now, I don't know what's going on with that movie. I'll go on Reddit and just tons of people shitting on it. It feels like there's some sort of vendetta towards that film to oppress it in some way. And people will go for the conservative angle and shit on the movie for that, or they'll go for the religious angle and shit on the movie for that. Oh, that's the kid sex trade movie. Yeah, with Jim Caviezel. Yeah.
00:14:47
Speaker
But you know what I think the real issue is and you know where I think the real attack is coming from? I think it's coming from studios and maybe distributors because that film was self-funded.
00:15:01
Speaker
And at the end of the film, the director talked about that. He said, the film just ends, but when you watch it in theaters, then there's this little PSA from Jim Caviezel, it's in black and white. And he's like, child trafficking is terrible and it's real and it's happening all over, blah, blah, blah, right?
00:15:18
Speaker
And he's like, and if you want to stand against it, one thing you can do is come watch this film and buy tickets for someone you want to come see this film. And you can buy a ticket for a person or a stranger and do that to help spread the word. And the director was against it because he's like, oh, that's so disgusting. Like, I don't want to do that fucking shit. I don't think he filmed it or anything. It was done after the film. Yeah.
00:15:42
Speaker
But hell, that's one of the most successful films of this year, just like percentage-wise, right? It's like a $10 million movie and it's gross, I don't know, 70, 80, 100 million. And so I think studios don't want this to happen because it's showing like, because it's produced by Angel Studios, which is a faith-based studio that's completely crowdfunded.
00:16:05
Speaker
So now you can have these films that can compete, which maybe Sound of Freedom did kind of, I think they were saying maybe hurt like Mission Impossible and some of those other films a little bit. So maybe you can have these movies that can compete that are from the people, by the people. And then, you know, and I think independent films like Film Threats, Chris Gore's Attack of the Dock,
00:16:32
Speaker
you know, are like us. We're able to put movies out there. And if they're of a decent quality, a wounded fawn, right? If they're, that's way better than what we did, but you know, if it's of a decent quality, it can generate competition. Well, I mean, Kevin Smith kind of showed that like, if you have,
00:16:50
Speaker
the audience, you can make money by just traveling around and showing the film as an event. And there's always been those Christian movies that make a lot of money, like that God's not dead movies and stuff like that. Yeah, they'll just show up out of nowhere. Yeah, it's like, what is this? Who is this? And then it's like, oh, it's a movie about God, or it's about a very strong Christian movie. And there is definitely an audience for those films. And if you get
00:17:15
Speaker
those movies in theaters, they're gonna make money, right? It's just like the Tyler Perry movies. Like Tyler Perry movies are always gonna make money.
00:17:24
Speaker
Like, unless he spends like 100 million making them, like, if Tyler Perry just keeps making, like, there's the reason he's like a super billionaire or whatever. Yeah, he's insanely rich now. Yeah, because, I mean, he capitalized on them where he's like, oh, no one's making movies with full black casts. I'll do that. But look how it also felt like those movies were treated. They would just show up kind of like those Christian movies, make it kill and disappear. And it didn't feel like there was any support for them. And it kind of felt like they were just put in one theater, kind of off to the side.
00:17:51
Speaker
So I kind of feel like it's the studios, I think it's the big money trying to silence these films, like The Sound of Freedom. It's not about the child sex trafficking. They all love it. The Christians love it, the conservatives love it, the rich love it. They're all in on it. And they love it.
00:18:07
Speaker
The child sex trafficking or the movie? Sex trafficking. But what they don't like is when people take their money, and I think it's because Sound of Freedom posed a serious threat. You know, it was a legit movie. Like, if it was made by some other studio, it probably would be, at least for a while, in talks for Oscar nominations. And I talk about this a little bit, and some of my notes on the articles we'll be reading later, but
00:18:36
Speaker
There's also a thing too where, as soon as anything gets a political leaning, there are just inherently people that are going to latch onto it because of that purpose. But it doesn't happen. Look at Barbie. No, but, okay. No, what I'm saying is the film, it doesn't have anything to do with the movie. It has to do with how the film is being talked about. But I heard Barbie had your more, kind of these progressive statements, kind of within a movie at lean. Absolutely. Sound of Freedom doesn't.
00:19:04
Speaker
Yes, but there's a narrative about, it's like a right wing funded, it's a right movie. The narrative gets created. And then all the left people are like, fuck that movie, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the studios are getting what they want by everyone fighting. But they just have to assign some political bullshit to it. And everyone is so compelled by that shit. There are people that's just, you know, went and saw Barbie over and over and over,
00:19:32
Speaker
I mean, you know, like it's such a good positive political movie bubble. And I'm like, isn't it just a movie? Yeah, we just enjoy it for being a movie like, yeah. But and then I think that movie kind of got swept up in that, like if on Twitter, if you see people talk, people would block you for talking about Sound of Freedom, but on Twitter. Really? Yes, dude, you should watch the movie because you'll be like, what? Why? I think that I know. No, no, no. But this more than any other movie I've ever seen, it's like,
00:20:01
Speaker
How is all this? But I guess he did. Oh, I think he called him chicks, which is a term they used in an email for Pizzagate to refer to the children as chicks. And that was code for QAnon.
00:20:18
Speaker
Because that's the only, because you know how QAnon got attached to it and I was like, what's QAnon-y about this? Well, that's right. Everyone was saying Jim Cavill is like, he's a Q head and he's doing all this stuff. Yeah, but who gives a shit about people's personal lives, right? Like, why should that influence? I know, I know. But just because you hire someone doesn't mean you support their beliefs.
00:20:36
Speaker
A topic we'll get into later, Danny Masterson. Just because you liked the 70s show, just because people worked on that show, doesn't mean you support him. Even though I think you technically would if you watch that show because he'll get residuals. Anyways. Well, if the strike goes through right, he'll get some good change in prison. But yeah, so it's just so weird to see the adversity that film's coming up against if you were to watch it.
00:21:05
Speaker
Yeah, well, that's why I think there's that's why you find it so interesting because it's like there's a lot Under beneath that we're not privy to but a huge story going on about it To have made it the sensation it is but also The criticism it's it's garnered for just being like it's just a movie. It's a simple Kind of movie the kind it it's what you expect it to be and it delivers very solid on that
00:21:33
Speaker
Yeah.
Why Visit New Beverly Cinema?
00:21:34
Speaker
And then there's all this news about it, all this buzz about it. Very strange. But you know, one thing I haven't heard a lot of buzz about, wait, were we done with the new Beverly? Yeah, sure. We can wrap it up. Did you want to mention anything more about it? I would say if you ever come out to LA and you're a film nerd, it's like a mecca. You kind of have to go and like see a movie there. Yeah, you feel like it's a mecca, huh? Yeah. In a sense that
00:22:03
Speaker
You're gonna watch a movie on film. Yeah. I mean, it does everything it can to kind of bring you into like a nostalgic old school vibe. Concessions are cheap. Concessions are cheap. They have all the good concessions. Their popcorn is good. They layer the butter. And they keep their candy in the freezer. Did they? Yeah, because I was...
00:22:27
Speaker
Someone was in front of me in the line and they got candy. Oh, there's one more thing that I really love about it. I gotta mention, but they keep the candy freezer. So Concessions, great. You know, the soda. Is that a thing to keep candy in the freezer and for movies or something? No, it's just I never get candy. Me neither, but I got it for Katie and because we were kind of high so. And it's like, oh man, you know, that's kind of sweet. Like, you know, this is a cool thing. But
00:22:53
Speaker
Like i wanna talk about is like they play you know you get it like a loonie tunes on film that's attached to the movie so you watch a loonie tunes cartoon and then you see like the feature presentation like it's like that feature presentation thing and then they play the audio for the movie in the bathroom.
00:23:15
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. They do. So you don't miss anything. Well, I remember I, I was like, man, I gotta pee like really bad. And I went and peed and I was just listening to like the evil dead where Ash is going like, at first I thought I was just like the drugs, like taking over and I was like, Oh my God, what's happening? And then I'll say,
00:23:36
Speaker
I'm like, it doesn't really make sense. Like multiplexes can't really do that because there's like 50 movies going on at once. But like, Moo New Beverly can do that. And it's, you might not think it's a big deal, but it's actually kind of nice, especially when you're watching three movies in a row. And so if you, if you're a blind person and you're walking by the new Beverly, can you just be like, you know, I gotta take a, I gotta use the bathroom real quick. Can I go in there?
00:24:02
Speaker
And then, you know, just stay for a free show in the shed. Hey, why not? You're like, yeah, man. Oh, man, I got smell of vision. But I will. You know, it's so funny you mentioned the bathroom because that made me think of when you're going pee, they have the advertisement there for all the other screenings. Yeah. Did you look at that and be like, damn, I want to go to that one and that one and that one. It definitely gives me like that FOMO, like that fear of missing out because. Yeah, we are.
00:24:30
Speaker
I'm just looking at it and I'm just like, I would see. If I lived close, I would come here because it's cheap. It's cheap. It's a $12 ticket. And they almost always have double features, triple features, and you only have to pay for the one movie. If you go see a double feature, it's one ticket. Sometimes. I think sometimes I'll have multiple because I've seen lines when I come out.
00:24:53
Speaker
Or maybe they were different events, but... I was gonna say, well, sometimes they'll... But those are probably like... That was a weekend, so maybe it's... Oh, I know they'll have different... I'm talking about that when they actually have the matinees and stuff. I don't... Do they? I don't know. Yeah, because they have kiddie shows during the day, and then they'll have night shows, and then they'll sometimes have a midnight movie.
00:25:15
Speaker
Okay. So like they'll have like the eight o'clock movie and then like a midnight. So it's the one ticket for like that section of whatever. But like, but like the evil dead thing that or the, the Veronica lake night. Yeah. That was, you just had to buy one ticket. Yeah. And it was for the two movies. Yeah. But yeah, I think last time I went, um, well,
00:25:36
Speaker
Yeah, no, I think it might've been a time, but they had like a Topgen night and then they had like, all right, it was like an 80s night, it was like Topgen and all the classics. And then they had like a Kira Kurosawa one. I don't know if it was him or like a Samurai night or a Ronin night. And I think they might've had one of those films, like the classic, I don't know what his, I haven't seen all his films. So isn't there one about a Ronin who, Rashomon, isn't that about, no, that's the lying one, right?
00:26:05
Speaker
Yeah, I was gonna say that's the one. Isn't there one where there's like some badass Ronin? I'm sure. From Kurosawa. To be fair, I haven't seen a lot of Kurosawa because like half of them are on the Criterion. Yeah. But he has a lot of movies, actually. I think he's got like 40 movies. That many? I think he has a lot, maybe 30. I saw the last movie he ever made, The Dreams. Yeah, I heard that's really good, but it's like really, um...
00:26:28
Speaker
It's exactly what you expect the last movie to be for a master filmmaker. Because it's like a very self-reflective... That's the perfect way to describe it. Yeah, interesting. It's beautiful. Yeah, and it's kind of like... I heard the impact is so much better if you have seen all his other movies. Oh, wow. Because you kind of see the culmination of him as a person. Well, when I watched it, I didn't even know that was from him. Oh, yeah. I just heard it was a good movie, and then I went, what the fuck's Curacao?
00:26:57
Speaker
Oh yeah, that's that one guy, huh? That Seven Samurai guy? He did the, what is that? What's the Western version? Magnificent Seven. He did the Magnificent Seven, right? Yeah, he did the Japanese version.
00:27:11
Speaker
So talking about Kirikou Sawa, Danny Masterson was imprisoned.
Danny Masterson's Trial - Celebrity Influence on Justice?
00:27:17
Speaker
I felt like that took a long time. That's the one thing that TV and movies have really fucked with us, our understanding of how things actually work in the world. Law and order specifically. Yeah, because it's like, oh, everything's wrapped up in an episode, but in real life,
00:27:33
Speaker
It takes like months and months, maybe even years for like the court cases to go on. I think this court case took months, but to get it into the court and all of that preliminary stuff. Yeah, his lawyers had fought for appeals and then they had to do all this stuff. And it's like, man, imagine being the victim. And it's like, you're just dragged through this for months. And it's so, you know, it's agonizing for the victim. And I'm glad he got sentenced. I wrote a little quip here. I said, good.
00:28:03
Speaker
Too bad he wasn't famous enough to escape with a lesser sentence. And I don't mean that in like, I meant that more as a joke because in the article that we're gonna talk about, about Rotten Tomatoes, they quote Brett Ratner. And I was like, wait, isn't that Brett, the Ratner, the one who's? The rapist? The sexual predator, Brett Ratner? Of the little boys, right? Yeah.
00:28:31
Speaker
And I was just thinking, oh, let me finish what I wrote. Maybe that should be a focus of our conversation about this topic. I think that a lot more famous people have gotten away with a lot worse. I mean, how is that new Woody Allen movie doing? Polanski just won an Oscar. I guess they just fucked kids and that's the thing to do, talking about. That's what I'm saying, sound of freedom. How weird. And it's weird because celebrities normally really skate
00:29:00
Speaker
But lately it's like, everyone's like, I want that fucker to burn. Which I think is good because you shouldn't get away with this shit just because you're a celebrity. And honestly, it's interesting too that because they're celebrities, everyone cares about the court cases. And Aston Kutcher sent a letter in saying that Danny Masterson wasn't that bad of a guy. And it's like, dude, he's a fucking scumbag. He's a scumbag.
00:29:26
Speaker
But they're your, they're like, when you go down and they're like, you knew him for all this time. Did you know about this? No, I did not. And I played the fifth on everything else. Yeah. When the DA walks in, they're like, well, Danny, what did Ashton really do on praying? Then it's like, well, I got that scoop, you know? But when I, you know, I'll write the judge a letter. I'll be like, look, your honor, yes, he is guilty of everything, but
00:29:50
Speaker
that deep down somewhere in that narcissism was a heart that justified every action. I mean, like I said, I think it's kind of gross that it takes so long for these trials to go on. Well, innocent until proven guilty, right? Innocent until, yes. So if you are innocent and trying to be proven guilty, you'd want it to take long. That's true. And I mean, you want justice to be served, but man. Yeah, you want to make sure justice is served. And imagine that's got to be long.
00:30:20
Speaker
I'm glad that he, you know, justice was served. Yeah. Um, I think we'll be, you know, there's, I just don't, I just don't like the, how, um, how long it took the celebrity of when celebrities go to jail, like all that shit. Like that stuff just like, I'm not like the gossipy kind of for that kind of stuff. Oh yeah. Like I was on Reddit and just hearing everyone's comments. I was just like, I don't know. It's just like, you know, you're like, burn, rape his ass. And I was like,
00:30:49
Speaker
Okay. I'm just like, I hope the victim's okay. I hope everyone is, you know, safe now and then, you know, we can move on. Yeah. And I'll say too, like I kind of, cause Danny Masterson is relatively popular, at least in American culture. You know, it was at 70 show, he was one of the highlight characters hide. But, and so I kind of thought, and with the church behind him,
00:31:14
Speaker
I thought, yeah, maybe he won't get that bad of a sentencing, but 30 years to life, I mean, that sounds like pretty harsh sentencing, right? Like what he should be getting, like almost life in prison, I guess, unless probation would change that. I don't know if it said the exact, like if there's no chance of parole, I don't know if that was in the article. Yeah, but 30 years in prison, like it's like this motherfucker,
00:31:42
Speaker
I think he got punished. If I remember right, it wasn't just one. Yeah, it was two. It was two. So, I mean...
00:31:50
Speaker
Yeah, I think they add. They just add. Well, he got convicted at two, but I think there is a lot more than that. Yeah, but they just add them, right? Yeah, they do. So it's not like, well, you only get convicted once. They're like, well, you got convicted twice and the minimum sentence is 15 years. So 30 years. Yeah. But at least I like how we always talk about like this lawyer shit like likely go anything.
00:32:13
Speaker
That's our law and order. We know about law and order. But still, like 30 years in prison, that's pretty much the rest of his life. Oh yeah, I don't got 30 years. Yeah, I hope I don't have 30 years. It's like, please God, no. And if I got a two-year sentence, it'd be a life sentence, you know, like Jesus Christ. So it's good to see that this dude, he's guilty, this fucker got it. He got what was coming to him.
00:32:39
Speaker
Yeah, and he's actually, you know, he was actually he's actually a predator and and I think a lot of people are getting just lumped into these categories and it made it kind of like if you did anything at all you were just as bad as the worst.
00:32:55
Speaker
And, you know, Danny Masterson was one of the worst in that sense where, you know, he wasn't just jerking off on the phone being grown. He wasn't just being gross. He's a predator. He's a fucking bad person. But, you know, look at Cosby. Cosby's free. You know? You know? And how many? I don't even know. 30? It was a high number. Which was probably more than that.
00:33:21
Speaker
It's always gonna be more than what people come for or something like that, right? And how many just didn't wake him back up? And he's fucking... Damn. But I guess he's ghosted. Justice, right? Because there was a technicality in the preliminaries that let him get out. So I guess I can't shit on the courts for that in a sense, but it's just like, that just feels wrong, right? It does.
00:33:48
Speaker
But at least Danny Masterson, 30 to life. Got him. Yeah. That 70's show is gonna, you know. Oh buddy, celebrity won't save you. I'm all right. Luckily, being a sexual predator isn't my proclivity. You know, maybe someone pees on me. Can you go to jail for that? Not that I want to get peed on. Yeah, but you'll probably do it in public. Oh yeah.
00:34:16
Speaker
And that's when I'll get in trouble. And I'll be like, I'm the guy that made dickhead. And they're like, yep, we can tell. And they'll be like, you know, you are time served. So we're getting on speaking of time served.
Manipulation of Rotten Tomatoes Scores
00:34:31
Speaker
Other things going down, huh?
00:34:33
Speaker
Yeah, Rotten Tomatoes, The Decomposition of Rotten Tomatoes. This is an article by Lane Brown with reporting by Luke Wienke. This was on Variety. No, Vulture, sorry. Thank you for getting the article in the... This is a Vulture article.
00:34:51
Speaker
Let me just start off with my opening paragraph here. So the article starts by detailing a single instance of possible bribery to influence the strength and score of a film. In this case, the film Ophelia. It's a female retelling of Hamlet. Hamlet. Sorry, I didn't write that down. I just put it's a female retelling.
00:35:16
Speaker
I think the bigger issue and I see this in every aspect of media, life entertainment is simply it's the fact that we as a society have developed into an all or nothing group. I struggle with this myself and I hate it. It's a big thing I hate about myself. It's kind of intoxicating. We have learned to, we have learned to regain, we need to learn to regain perspective and really be objective. I know this is not easy, but not everything is a zero or a 10. I think we are in a dangerous,
00:35:43
Speaker
time and Rotten Tomatoes, IMDB scores have really fucked things up. But a big problem is when studio such creators start to get an edge through other means when the system begins to break. I mean, it's already breaking down, but we're going to enter a new form. And I think the Renegades and the DIYs will be the ones to really look out for. These are the guys and women creating films for their audiences and themselves. And hopefully they can sustain that with their with their groups.
00:36:12
Speaker
Definitely and I think this furthers the idea that we've kind of been talking about it's been a bit of a theme right now Yeah, it's just the studios distributors. Like why are why are we giving so much to these big? companies cuz I Don't know what my point was fuck I had a point though. Anyways You go well
00:36:38
Speaker
And so later in the article, there's a quote from Paul Schrader that I'll read. The studios didn't invent Rotten Tomatoes, and most of them don't like it, says the filmmaker Paul Schrader. But the system is broken. Audiences are dumber. Normal people don't go through reviews like they used to. Rotten Tomatoes is something the studios can game, so they do. And then I wrote, oh, you want to respond to that?
00:37:00
Speaker
Yeah, in fact, to interject here and then you finish with your statement, is that, can you tell us, can you tell me in the audience, what is Rotten Tomatoes really being accused for? Why is this article, and why are people saying this? I probably should have started with that. So the article is essentially breaking down the influence and the effect that Rotten Tomatoes has on the release and success of films, and if there's a correlation there, and that how studios are,
00:37:29
Speaker
with money game the system by either paying reviewers, giving early access to reviewers, sending films to festivals because they can kind of buy their way in essentially. And this gets early reviewers higher scores and that creates buzz and word of mouth because they're like, oh, cause Indiana Jones, I think came out with like a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. And then two days after it was released, it dropped to like 40%. No, that was Ant-Man. Ant-Man, yes.
00:37:59
Speaker
Right and then to further that and why that happened is that they weren't just gaming assistant by entering this festivals and getting that really good but buzz a mouth they were being a little.
00:38:12
Speaker
I don't know, shady in their practices because they learned to get critics that they hoped would be favorable to the film to then inflate the rating. And that's why Entomaneo was so high. It was the highest of all the Ant-Man's rated.
00:38:30
Speaker
And there was correlation that the high score led to it being the highest grossing Ant-Man movie as well. Certainly influences it. And then after that weekend, everyone saw it. And then it dropped, it had the biggest drop off of any Marvel movie. Really? Yes. It says it in the article. I didn't read the article. So, Paul Schrader talks a lot.
00:38:55
Speaker
He said Oppenheimer is the greatest film in the last 100 years. Yes, he does write some fantastic films. He's even directed a few good ones. First Reformed is what comes to mind. I hated the card counter, where the fuck that movie was called. And he is wrong, or at least used the wrong word. Audiences are not dumber. They're superficial. They want the next rush. We are addicted to conflict.
00:39:17
Speaker
to finding the next best thing. It's like whoever gets there first to spread the words gets some sort of credibility. I have felt it. I love finding that hidden gem because it's untarnished by the masses. So what do you think about that? Do you think audiences are dumber or is it something else?
00:39:35
Speaker
No, you're absolutely right, they're super, what did you say? Superficial. Oh, they're superficial? Yeah. Oh no, I was thinking super efficient or something. Because I would say, you know, in regards to the Rotten Tomatoes score, if I'm on the fence about a movie or if I just want to see a movie and it doesn't matter, the Rotten Tomatoes score will influence me. Specifically like for indie movies, I know Karen and I were supposed to see Boogie Man,
00:40:03
Speaker
But then we saw the Rotten Tomato, and we're like, oh, I don't know, I'm not liking it. I don't even know if it had a Rotten Tomato, but we saw something about it. But you know, I got there through Rotten Tomatoes. Maybe it was a trailer that kind of pulled us out. But you know, there's other movies that I'll see, and I'll be like, well, the Rotten Tomatoes look good, or especially the Rotten Tomatoes on the fan side, the audience side. And it's like, okay, they like this movie, so that'll encourage me to see it.
00:40:32
Speaker
You know, I think that's how it is for a lot of people, like, well, what am I going to see today? We don't got much time. We don't got much money. Pick one movie you can see in the theater that's available to you. Yeah. Well, Indiana Jones has a huge... Well, I don't know if it ever started fresh. I think it actually... It started fresh. Did it? Yeah. Well, at least Quantomania. It's in the article. You know, started fresh and then plummeted.
00:40:58
Speaker
And I think if people are going to make it that choice, that opening weekend, they're going to make that choice for the fresh movie, right? Correct. And you know, you're going to want to try because you're, you know, got to be economical with your time and no one wants to sit through a bad movie.
00:41:16
Speaker
I think something and there there's a lot of I say I would suggest going to read the article because there's a lot in there about the bunker 15 like and then Essentially being like a group of people that review get paid to review positive movies essentially. Well, I thought they were Yeah, but they would put out movies and then pay people to like positively review their movies and Like they were saying up to some of you was rolling. They didn't pay them. I
00:41:41
Speaker
I thought it says that they were paid them, but they were selecting the people that gave positive reviews and then they were like, well, you know, if you're going to give it a negative review, maybe don't put it on that website. If you could just put on your blog.
00:41:53
Speaker
Oh, okay, yes, that's what they were saying. And it's like, that way it wouldn't be counted by Rotten Tomato, because Rotten Tomato is going to read that. Right, because it's aggravated. You know, like from the editorial of some sort. The enthusiasm of the positive negative doesn't reflect the fresher score. Yeah, and the critic still says their honest opinion. And then of course, if you're picking someone who always loves a specific type of film, well, hey, maybe they'll really like this film. Rate it how you want, of course. Yeah. Just if it's bad, you know.
00:42:23
Speaker
Cause we really like this film and we really believe in it. And do you think that's part of the success of the Red Letter Media guys? Because they're kind of, they're real movie critics. Absolutely. And they, you kind of start to like learn their tastes. Like, you know, like you like a Jay movie or you know if you like a Mike movie. Let us put it this way. The rich are never at the tip of the spear. It's always a poor motherfuckers who kind of forged it.
00:42:52
Speaker
And you know what, Tarantino's saying there's no critic that he knows of that people listen to. But I tell you, red-letter media, those are critics that people really respect and listen to who know of them, right? Like in our little world, because they've changed my opinions on movies, they changed my opinion, I think, on cobwebs.
00:43:17
Speaker
because I was hearing Mike in his opinion of the film. So I was like, well, is this movie shit and they don't know anything or is it actually pretty damn good? And a lot of times, depending on their recommendation, I'll go see a movie. And like, if it's a movie I haven't seen, but they talk about it in a very interesting way, I'll go watch that movie to see their perspective on it. And so I would say, you know, there's a lot of people who rely on like YouTube creators as a critics.
00:43:49
Speaker
and respect their opinion. And then you kind of see where it's like, oh, I bet Bunker 15 likes you a lot, like that one guy.
00:43:58
Speaker
on YouTube. I just want to talk shit about him because it's funny. Which guy on YouTube? He always has the comic book figures behind him. Oh, Chris Stuckman? See how you immediately eat? Yes. Yeah. Chris Stuckman. Because I did like his opinion a lot, but now... Well, he's completely changed now that he's a filmmaker. Because he's a filmmaker, he has to be more careful about how he reviews movies, which
00:44:22
Speaker
Which is scary, right? Because we've talked about doing that ourselves. Like, you know what, buddy? Let's not be negative. And then it was like, well, fuck that. You know what, buddy? Let's just focus on movies we really like. Yeah. And then it's like, well, that's cool. But also let's shit on someone. Yeah, because I mean, it's as fun sometimes to hate a movie.
Challenges of Honest Film Critique
00:44:41
Speaker
I mean, if we the thing is sometimes it's fun to watch a bird. I think you you've earned the right to shit on a movie if you've sat through it.
00:44:50
Speaker
If you give them your life, you earn the right to be able to shit on it. And the thing is too, we almost never just shit on a movie. We will try to explain why we don't like something.
00:45:05
Speaker
It's never just like, fuck that movie, it's stupid. It's like, this is why it's fucking stupid. Because in silver indulgence, it's bad. It doesn't make sense. The continuity is all over the place for no reason. Like, why is the editing like that? Why is John Wick so fucking stupid? Sorry. Like, honestly, you're treating your audience like they're dumb. Yeah. And we, I think that's horrible. And that's why it's nice to see some of those critics, though, like that. So, you know, I would say Tarantino.
00:45:31
Speaker
He needs to listen to this podcast. Yes. Tarantino, come on our show. So I have two more pages to talk about on this article. And there's questions for you that I wrote. Oh, shit. So the article contains quotes from filmmakers about the scourge of the aggravators because of its power over the masses. So I mentioned we are above, we are in a collapse. We need this forest fire to burn down everything so we can grow something healthier. The forest is full of poison and death. When you see it from the sky, it looks green and luscious.
00:46:00
Speaker
But ground level is nothing but sludge and famine. What are your personal experiences with reviews and critics? What do you mean by personal? This kind of actually was answered with Red Letter Media. Do you read reviews? Do you read user reviews on IMDB? Do you actually read the critic? Are you just a score looker?
00:46:22
Speaker
at least sometimes just look at scores or you try to always read a few reviews. A lot of times I look at scores but when it's a movie I care about and I try to watch movies I care about unless I'm like in front of the TV at home on Netflix and be like oh look whatever this random thing is. So if I do yeah I'll read reviews I read a lot of reviews in fact I don't really do it necessarily to learn about a
00:46:45
Speaker
are to find out about the movie I learned to see what the market is, how all of this is working. I'm kind of researching that too. And then sometimes I'll find some people who I believe are giving
00:47:02
Speaker
Well, let's just say reviews that I can respect. Wait. Oh, that sounds bad too. Anyways, it's true. Yeah. And you know, this brings to bring it back to that bunker 15 and then also get onto another subject, which I don't know if you know much about is that.
00:47:22
Speaker
because I was looking to do film reviews and I did one for our Patreon. Yeah, I read it. It's pretty good, actually. You guys should read it. Yeah, well, it was fun. It was just this fun, stupid thing. But also, I was trying to submit it and get it out there to different editorials, is that what you would call them? Sure.
00:47:38
Speaker
Okay. I don't really know websites and stuff nowadays. I don't know either. I don't know the correct language. Are you just posting to a blog? I don't even know. But, you know, but like actual websites where they're known for reviewing movies and being about film, you know, and they'll always have like a review section, depending on how focused they are on that. And I came across within that time just finding movies and I know
00:48:09
Speaker
people who have done it were and what basically you pay to get your movie reviewed faster. So if you pay this fee, they will review your movie and.
00:48:21
Speaker
I think Bunker 15 was kind of attached to that because they were paying to have the movie reviewed by certain critics. Yeah. Who had biases that they wanted to pay for this. And then also just the fact if you're in it, you know, if I pay for, because film threat does this, if I pay for film threat to see my movie, how does that
00:48:48
Speaker
change maybe the way they're going to review my movie. Right, because on your next movie, they're going to be like, well, that's, you know, it's easier to keep a customer than to get a new customer. Yeah. Well, not just that, but do you feel, you know, if someone pays you money, do you feel incentivized to Oh, yeah, it's real gross, right? Because look at our advertisement, right with liquid ivy. Yeah. You know, we were looking at different ads and I was like, No, let's not pick this. This is turning into an ad. And
00:49:19
Speaker
And then we saw who else wanted to sponsor, so it wasn't much. And it was like, okay, well, let's at least look at Liquid IV. So, you know, I researched about the company and I was like, okay, well, you're dancing with the devil. You're making the deal with the devil. How much do you want to suck his cock? You know, what do you want to do to him? He's going to reward you well, but you know. You're sucking just the tip or are you dethroning the devil's dick, you know? So, and then reading, I was like, okay, this seems like it's a real product that offers what it's,
00:49:48
Speaker
marketing and it's doing some trying to do some good too with hydrating people like they give their hydration packets all over so so you know you feel incentivized to talk good about them and you want to work with them well and you know
00:50:05
Speaker
Like, then there becomes this bias, like, well, because you're trying to give me money, do I have to, you know, talk good about you? Like our bosses, right? Like you don't say shit to the boss. You're like, yes, okay, if that's what you want, sir. And so with these film reviews, do you feel like that's, could that lead to that kind of, you know, what, what did Dennis say in the, when he was on the boat with the women?
00:50:34
Speaker
Oh, the dentist situation. Oh, fuck. What was it? Our dentist system. He's like, we're going to be at a boat in the middle of nowhere.
00:50:43
Speaker
Yeah, I can't remember. And no one will know where we're at? And he's like, no, no, no, no. That's not what we're doing. It's just the implication or something. Yes, the implication. You know? So I think it's gross. Well, how do you feel about- And predatory. And it's kind of- Well, let me ask you, hold on. In three parts. How do you, do you feel it does that? You know, incentivizes someone to have a, or it kind of, it creates a natural bias.
00:51:11
Speaker
And then how do you feel about review sites that are movie sites that use the pay to review policy? And then how do you think that affects the market or something? I forgot kind of what the third one was. So part one, yes, it affects bias. Anytime money exchanges hands, it affects bias. These reporting agencies, and I know why FilmThread does this, it's because they're poor.
00:51:40
Speaker
Yeah, to make money, right? To keep running. Yeah, so they're doing, I mean, it's a good source of revenue, but the second part of the question, I don't like it. To me, it removes an aspect of it. The critic should be getting paid by the writing of the critique of the product.
00:52:03
Speaker
Right. You shouldn't be getting paid to critique a product by the product maker. That just don't sound, that sounds fishy, right? Right. That just already like, oh. It's like, okay. And take the art and the movie out of it. I make vacuums. Hey buddy, I'm going to pay you $1,000 and give you a brand new vacuum. I need one. I got carpets. So you can write a review because you're the top vacuum reviewer on the internet. I am.
00:52:31
Speaker
But you know, I have high standards. I never compromise myself. How could I do that? And I know you have to legally announce that it was paid sponsorship. Oh yeah. But I don't know if that's the same thing for what Film Threat does. I don't know if it's a sponsorship to... No, you just pay for them to order you higher in the queue. That's it. It's just like, hey, we get so many movies, because you said what, there's like 2,000 movies that come out.
00:52:59
Speaker
A day. A year, right? I'm in that low-budget filmmakers Facebook. It's like 2000 a minute. There's 2000 movies coming out a minute. You're here for all of cinema. You will watch every single movie you possibly can in a year. Well, you know, what if you give me some money and we'll put you at the top of the queue.
00:53:22
Speaker
No, there's no bias being done there, of course, right? Right? But it certainly at least puts them at the top of the queue and it's like, okay, let's see this movie first. Because when Dickhead comes out, it inherently influences because you are supporting them. And there's probably, even if you don't care, it's just a probably good feeling to know that someone paid to get you to watch their movie. And it's like,
00:53:52
Speaker
kind of like almost like a weird OnlyFans kind of thing to a degree, where you're like, you're paying for essentially to get their eyeballs on your thing. And it's very weird. It's like decorating, I don't know. And what was the third-party question? How does this affect the masses? Wait, what do you mean, like decorating? They're not honest? No, I think... Oh, buddy. You mean...
00:54:17
Speaker
You think they did. They've met a little bit, right? I mean, there's probably some truth in there. There's truth in there. There's some. It's probably not entirely copy pasted. Oh, really? They didn't read it. It probably wasn't written by me. They couldn't just stop touching themselves after they saw it. Maybe, maybe, buddy. Maybe.
00:54:47
Speaker
Huh. But yeah, nothing fishy going on with rotten tomatoes. So another quote from the article and then I have just a two quick little paragraphs and then I'll be I'll wrap up my talk on this. And it's here's how when a studio is prepping to release a new title, it will screen the film for critics in advance.
00:55:06
Speaker
If a film publicist's job to organize these screenings and invite the writers, they think it is a film's publicist's job to organize these screenings and invite the writers, they think will respond most positively. This is something we've already talked about. Then the publicist will set the movie's review embargo in part so that its initial tomato meter score is as high as possible at the earliest moment when it can have maximal benefits for word of mouth and early ticket sales.
00:55:34
Speaker
This statement above is so gross to me, but at the same time, I completely understand why this is done. The amount of money poured into films is outrageous, and this has created situations where investors and studios have to make the risks mitigated. This is something we go on and on about as well. Movies just cost way too fucking much to make. We need to decrease the cost and manage the expectations back to reality. These bloated masses of films don't work.
00:55:59
Speaker
And the ones that do just make it worse for everyone. Speak with your wallets and stop going to see these films. What do you think, buddy? Wow. Yeah. So you think this is all just.
00:56:14
Speaker
One of those dark times for cinema, we've gotten too greedy. Yeah, I mean, every movie costs over $100 million to make. Every movie has... marketing budgets are double the fucking budget sometimes now. Like, you have to make $500 million to just break even. Okay, but then look at Barbie. How much did that cost to make? It wasn't $100 million. It was probably pretty expensive.
00:56:37
Speaker
Was it 100 million? Let's look at how much the Barbie cost. Why don't you give me a guess there, buddy? I would say Barbie cost around 50 million. I'm going to say it was 100 million. And that movie has grossed a billion. The Barbie budget was $145 million. I take it back.
00:56:56
Speaker
And so I think the rule of thumb was always just a double for marketing. So around $300 million for Barbie. And yes, it made its billion. But what I'm saying is the Barbie is and the Oppenheimer's are the examples of why this is wrong because studios see this. We talked about this last time. They see this and they're like, oh, now we need to make
00:57:19
Speaker
Tickle me Elmo movie. We need to make whatever the fucking next right. And then we and then they spend 100 million dollars making this and it crashes and it flops. And then they're like, well, I guess we're not making any more underwater.
00:57:30
Speaker
And I was like, I want more underwaters. But also, what if they just see it to like... But underwater was pretty expensive, I believe, to make. But what if they see it to like this and this is the more positive aspect is like, hey Oppenheimer and Barbie still made a billion. Hey, you know, regardless of how you feel about Avatar, it's still made a billion and that's its own unique little thing.
00:57:54
Speaker
are the Joker made a billion? What if they catch on like, oh, you know what, what if we just make the next Marvel film, for example, our Star Wars film, the greatest film ever, and everyone's gonna like it, that they're gonna feel all that nostalgia. I would love that. And then they're saying like, yeah, let's invest 100 million in this like, Rashomon too. Well, I don't know. I mean, could you imagine that utopia? I think the point I'm trying to make is,
00:58:22
Speaker
a movie. Let's just say this. You're given $100 million. You're a studio producer. Are you going to make $100 million movie? Are you going to try to make $52 million movies?
00:58:36
Speaker
Fuck that, I'm making $100 million movie. What you talking about, dude? Because I'm in the, I would make $52 million movie camp because one, you might have, in those 50 movies, you're probably going to make your budget back, maybe. Buddy, let me tell you this. I'm going to need a very outside the box assistant at some point after my $100 million movie, Skyrockets. Indiana Joe Six, buddy, I got you. He's going to fight.
00:59:04
Speaker
Oh, they set it up at the very end that he could come back. That's right. Indy's now the zombie. Oh, okay. Actually, you sold my ticket.
Nostalgia and Classic Films
00:59:15
Speaker
Harrison Ford's gonna cost $99 million, but that's all we need. And to go into what you said about Film Riot and stuff like that and other critics,
00:59:29
Speaker
I wanted to ask you, how much of this just speaks to culture surrounding critics getting perks for being so positive? All of this rotten tomato bullshit feeds into itself. If a critic is getting to see a movie for free early, and then if they get to know, and as they get to know people in the business, they just keep getting those perks over and over. Oh, yeah. Is that just a self-perpetuating, self-perpetuating
00:59:56
Speaker
Bullshit. Like, is this dangerous? Is this... Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Because imagine when you befriend someone and then they come out with work and if you think it's shit. We don't say it. No. Well, no, we don't. You're going to be clever about it. You're going to say it in the best way you can and be as honest and true while still not being like, fuck them, they fucking suck. Stay home, bitch.
01:00:24
Speaker
You know? I mean, I think that's even more, that creates a bias even more than the money does. And also, that's probably why as you get more successful, you just become more and more out of touch. Yeah, because everyone around you is like, you're so great, everything you do is so good. And it's like... It's gonna have an influence on you. You're like, yes, yes, you're my buddy, don't worry, I saw your movie, it sucked, but it had good music.
01:00:52
Speaker
I really like to meet some of the best music. Some good cinematography. Yeah, some great cinematography. But one thing, all of our friends, you guys needed to edit better. You gotta trim these, like I said, you gotta trim these fucking indie films as tight as you can because you feel it. The seams crack real easy on the budget. Speaking of seams cracking, Julian Sands, buddy, he died in our backyard.
01:01:21
Speaker
You know, San Bernardino Mountains. Yes, he died on Mount Baldy. And I had heard Julian Sands about him passing away and then for some random reason, I think I saw him in a film. I was like, oh, Julian Sands, how's he doing? And I was like, oh, no, no, he's dead.
01:01:41
Speaker
Cause I guess pretty recently, maybe like a month or so ago, his body was finally located because he went missing on Mount Baldy. Cause I guess he was an avid hiker. That was one of his... There was a storm. It was like a freak storm. Really? Is that what happened? Yes. He went out hiking and then a freak storm came in. It was like earlier this year, like remember when we got like crazy rain?
01:02:05
Speaker
No, uh earlier in the year and it was like Just raining like non-stop after that. Mm-hmm. He got caught out in that shit Oh shit at the top alone alone. Yeah Um, and so probably succumb to the elements. Yeah, that's what they were saying in it. You know, he was an avid hiker
01:02:25
Speaker
I think I read somewhere they were saying, well, like. Rumor was he did see dickhead right before he went hiking. Yeah, but I mean, that's just, that, you know, that's neither here nor there. Coincidence, huh? How strange. But we just want to say, damn, man. That was sad to see that, you know. I wanted to, I wrote down some of my favorite roles of his. And he is the warlock in the warlock franchise. Exactly, warlock.
01:02:52
Speaker
And I said, Warlock, which isn't that bad of a movie. Oh, that's one of my favorite movies. It's a great weekend to rent a movie for its cool cover kind of movie. That's another virtuosity for me. I even had the video game. Warlock was pretty cool. Where you fight Julian Sands. But Julian Sands, oh yeah, he's Warlock. But I mean, he was in Naked Lunch, he was in Leaving Las Vegas, he was in... He was in Leaving Las Vegas? Yeah, he's like a side character. Yeah.
01:03:20
Speaker
But he's in that movie, yeah. Which part? Is it the circus circus? I think he's like her pimp or something. He's a pimp? Yeah. He was also in that movie that was real controversial, right? Where he cuts off like her arms and legs? Oh, yes. Do you remember that movie? Dude, I remember when it came out and it was like, oh my God, this movie is so terrible. It's so disgusting. It's tasteless. Do you remember what that movie is? I can look it up.
01:03:48
Speaker
But man, that was such a big topic when it came out that year. Fuck, I'm old. But yeah, it was, I don't know. It's just sad to see that. I mean, this year has felt- So sad. I mean, I don't know if it, I think the AI or whatever just feeds into it, but like my homepage of all my news is essentially just obituaries of like who died. And it's like, I don't know if everyone is dying or- Jimmy Buffett just passed away, right? You literally like two days ago,
01:04:17
Speaker
He's like, damn man, everybody's dying. He's in arachnophobia. Yes. Julian Sands. He's probably a bad guy in a movie about killer spiders. He probably introduced him or something. I forgot. He probably was the spider. He's a scientist. He's the spider at the end. I mean, he was in a lot of, he has 199 credits.
01:04:42
Speaker
Well, if you grew up in the 90s, late 80s, I mean, you saw Julianne Sand so much. He was just in everything. He was that guy, right? What I love is like, he's like one of those actors where you don't have to know his name, but when you see him, you always go, oh, it's that guy. Yeah. And he's just part such a part of my nostalgia because I mean, I seriously love Warlock. Damn, that is some negative news, buddy. And it was just like, fuck, really? You know, and it's early, you know, I mean, he still had so much. Yeah. You know, it's just.
01:05:10
Speaker
Well you wanted to add that the climate is breaking down you know yeah that you announced the climate break is a.
01:05:18
Speaker
they announced climate breakdown.
Global Threats and Environmental Concerns
01:05:21
Speaker
So does that mean, can we fix it? Can we fix it right there? I mean, the thing is that probably even if it's broken down, it probably takes decades still. And the only positive and hope that I can leave the audience is that humans are pretty smart at fixing problems. And when the actual problems are there and present, it makes it way easier.
01:05:46
Speaker
Every now and then we march or dimes things right every it happens it happens every now and then every now and then we all pull together and care polio and
01:05:54
Speaker
You know, every now and then we eradicate smallpox. It happens. It's not often like we kill each other more than we get together. But who knows? Maybe there's hope, maybe. But you know, the world feels different. Maybe that's just aging. But I never felt like this a decade ago. Well, let me let me see that because I was just meaning to pass over it because it's such a depressing topic. Yeah, I didn't really mean to get into it. But
01:06:24
Speaker
How, cause it is a problem that needs to be solved. We're past that point. It has to get solved or else that's it. Literally or else. So how close do you feel we are to that? To where you can be like, yes, humanity is getting to that point. I've always felt like, um, apocalypse was hyperbole.
01:06:52
Speaker
This is exactly what I thought. Because it was always like, you know, nukes will kill us all. And then it never happened, at least not in the past. It's a big one if you live in California, right? And if you live in California, we've all heard about the big earthquake. Everyone's heard about the supervolcano in Yosemite, right? Like when St. Helena blew, everyone was like, that's the one, right?
01:07:16
Speaker
That's gonna blow, St. Helen's gonna blow and it's gonna blow yellow stone. It's gonna cover all the way up to San Francisco with just pure ash. Yeah. And it's like, you know, we always hear about this stuff and it's like, yes, it's gonna happen, but the thing is like a lot of people are probably gonna die and then there's gonna be a point where enough people have died where people might start being like, okay. You think it's gonna take an event that big? Oh, yes.
01:07:43
Speaker
It's going to take like 9-11 kind of events. So what's the worst 9-11 event then? Would that just be nuclear holocaust? Nuclear holocaust is pretty bad. And it's like you guys need to figure this out about like T minus 20 seconds. The radiation cloud is coming your way. Yeah, nuclear holocaust. Can we get to the bookers? Yeah, it's like who's left has to figure it out. Right? And like... Well, I hope we're not that far along. Because there's pretty bad ones, right? I hope we never get that far along. There's impacts.
01:08:11
Speaker
asteroid impacts, which we could technically solve if we detect early enough. I mean, they're doing tests. Don't look up, right? As crappy as that movie is, but you know, there's sadly a lot of truth in that satire. You know, you got nukes, you got viruses. I mean, look what COVID did and COVID was relatively harmless compared to like smallpox.
01:08:33
Speaker
You have the infection rate of COVID with the lethality of smallpox. There's no more humans. It would literally extinct us unless we developed something before everyone died.
01:08:47
Speaker
Right. I mean, go into the caves. And then now we have like essentially like the slow apocalypse, which is climate death, climate breakdown, the destruction of ecosystems like starvation, essentially interstellar.
01:09:04
Speaker
We're living through interstellar. Damn, Nolan, you goddamn genius. You Oppenheimer, Nolan. That's essentially right, the rot or whatever, because there's the lack of food and the soil damage and soil death.
01:09:20
Speaker
Yeah, that's where that's the world we're living in and it's like because look at what we're facing right now That really is cataclysmic and if they go we're so fucked is the bees Yeah, one of the smallest of the creatures and it's like dude if this This goes if we extinct the bees man, we are
01:09:37
Speaker
We're done ourselves. But then it's like, right? We stink the bees. We have T minus 10 years to replace bees with something. We got some drone bees. We got bubble bee. Bubble bee Ted. Nothing could scale out the drones. We would have to figure out some kind of misting system, greenhouse pollinating misting system. I don't even fucking know because you have to somehow pick the pollen from the other flower and take it to the next place, right? But then we've already gone past the point, right? Because it's just a slow collapse at that point.
01:10:05
Speaker
Well, the thing, too, will... It truly is. Yeah. You're not replacing any living creature with robots. No. No. Not in our current lifetime. You're not. And if you go to another planet, you're doing the same thing. And guess what? You're not replacing your city on Mars with the robots. You can't produce what nature just produces on its own. Not to scale for what we need to survive as a species. As the bees. Because they're all extinct in China, right? Don't they use drones?
01:10:33
Speaker
I think they started using drones, yes, but I don't think they're all extinct. Oh, God, I hope not. Because, yeah, there's just, you know, the thing is, it's like, because China, man, the pollution.
01:10:44
Speaker
Like they just got dead rivers over there that don't have fish in them because they're so polluted. They just killed everything. Nothing can survive in those rivers. They've like extinct, like rare types of dolphins and shit. But they have a billion people they got to feed. Like they got a billion people they have to keep warm.
01:11:05
Speaker
they got a billion people they got like part of it is you know like got those fucking crazy people like Elon Musk saying like we gotta populate it's like no we gotta fucking feed the people we have now yeah but then you also see well yeah because you know then that criticisms of other like for us to in our nuclear age to tell coal people relying strictly on coal like no don't do that if you're gonna kill the world and they're like
01:11:29
Speaker
We're getting ours too. It's our turn. It's like a dude in a coat and like there's someone like, you know, like burning a trash can to keep warm. Yeah. He's like, and it's like, that's so dirty looking. And it's like, man, I'm cold. Like come out of here. Get me warm. He's like, no, I didn't get you that close. Can I have that coat? You have like 16 more at home. Nah, man. This is my Thursday coat. It's looking good. It's lit. It matches my pants.
01:11:57
Speaker
You know, and then it's like, and he's just like, yeah, get it. But you know, I just want to smoke some crack. You got some crack, man. I sucked your dick for some crack. Well, let's get into that main topic. Speaking of which, brain drain.
Brain Drain and Creative Burnout
01:12:16
Speaker
Did we talk about what we're drinking? And I think we maybe need another beer each.
01:12:20
Speaker
I'm still good. I know I've been getting drinking a little slow, but I'm starting to feel things so I've been feeling it for a while That's why I've been all right. So let's jump into that main topic then let's uh, cuz I have I have quite a bit talk and this is gonna be one of those Warning, I guess for people out. There's we're barely doing a warning probably gonna get sad Depressing Oh, especially after what I wrote. I really kind of just laid out shit on here. So okay, I guess let's get into it. I
01:12:51
Speaker
All right. Okay. Let me ask you first. So, cause you wrote it. So let me ask you. Yeah. Okay. Brain drain buddy. I think you look, you and I are in a similar place in our life. Our brains have died and that's what I want to discuss today. So what is brain drain and how do you define it? Oh shit. That's a lot more depressing than I thought it sounded. I thought it sounded funny, but
01:13:19
Speaker
Well, now just hearing you talk, I don't, I think you might have a different idea of what I meant. Yeah, I am going to write about it. I wrote about it too. Oh, okay. So for me, it's just been like, not creators or writer's block, you know, where I can't think of what to do next or keep the story going or anything. It's just more like, dude, I just feel fucking like a zombie.
01:13:48
Speaker
You know, just so exhausted and tired. And that aspect of, I don't know, whatever we're going through now playing into the issue, I guess the fatigue of it all. I guess maybe that's what it's really stemming from, but it's like, it's been so hard to just be creative and to just work on the projects. Like I have actually gotten stuff out there and finished a lot of things right now.
01:14:14
Speaker
But at the same time, like I haven't touched dickhead in a month, man, I'll be real. I haven't touched the edit. I've been trying to work on a jog at night. I got to a certain point and then I just stopped. And it was like, I know what to do next. I know everything, the next steps, but it's just kind of like this tiredness, this drain and it's just preventing me. Cause it does need some like critical creative approaches to it, but I just feel so out of it.
01:14:44
Speaker
you know, just kind of a little blank I guess.
01:14:48
Speaker
Well, let me read what I wrote because I understand what you're saying. And I said, I think for me, it's less of a brain drain and it's more of a burnout. The worst part is it's not a creative burnout or even working on the movie. Find that to be the only enjoyable things I do. Yeah. It's just burnout on life, the grind. It's taken everything with it. I don't just have the energy sometimes. I literally have to take days off being a sludge to just recover. My brain is active as ever. It's the body that has failed. Yeah.
01:15:19
Speaker
Because I'm trying to recall words and just talk smarter. Yeah.
01:15:27
Speaker
Yeah, I just feel like it's so hard for me to even recall anything or how to do anything. I'm like, just kind of feel like a zombie at times. Yeah, I'll just find myself just staring off in the space and just staring at a blank wall. Oh, shit, the drugs finally got to the ideas aren't stopping. Yeah, I don't feel any less creative or less ambitious about it. Yeah. And I'm just like, I want to get dickhead done. But then I'm like,
01:15:51
Speaker
there's hours to do. And I have to literally squeeze every hour out of the day sometimes. And it's like, I don't, and especially if I haven't gotten sleep or if I'm overworked, it's just like, I literally have to have weekends so I can continue to like survive and make sure I make it to work to pay bills and stuff. So what has gotten you into this state? Do you, do you have a, do you have a, like a,
01:16:21
Speaker
Cause and mind. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, certainly hearing you talk, you know, there is that physical to consider just how much your life is changing and how much more you're going to have to do. And just the physical grind of that, which I think I've been on with Karen and that, you know, building this whole new thing, world life and, um,
01:16:50
Speaker
alongside keeping this going, you know, there is just that busy schedule and then work life to navigate. And of course you're addressing all of them at the same time. So just physically you're kind of worn down. And maybe that, you know, I, maybe I put that off a little bit on how much that affects me. Cause like, yeah, well, whatever you got to do it. It's fun. You know, I enjoyed doing it all in a sense.
01:17:20
Speaker
And, but yeah, when I come here, it's like, man, now I got to edit this. And, and I'm ready to, and I'm excited to, but I'll even bring it up and I'll just look at it and it's just like, I don't know what to do here. It's, it's going to require like a really clear mind. You know, like, like I've, I've cut it down as much as I can through all of that. And like with scene six, I've gotten pretty far along.
01:17:47
Speaker
But now I've noticed I'm like, well, save this section. I don't know what to do. Save it for Tom. Let me get his input. And it's increasing more like that. And it's just harder to make these choices where, you know, before it felt a lot easier to like, okay, we need to do this. We need to do that. We need to do this. And it's like, ah, is it this or is it that? And getting caught and just not knowing how to figure out that puzzle and, you know, kind of that,
01:18:16
Speaker
Zombie feel like just marching through yeah, I'm making it through here. Oh, I did this on ticket And it really does just it kind of kills the motivation because
01:18:28
Speaker
At least for me, and this is what I wrote is, you know, it's compounded stress, existential dread, and fear, fear of being unable to actually work on the things I love. I find myself often just drifting off, looking into the void, suffocated by all my creative ideas and desires and realizing I cannot accomplish anything in my current state.
Balancing Dreams with Reality
01:18:46
Speaker
It's an unending spiral of compounding self-destructive behavior and thought patterns. Yeah, that's depressing.
01:18:54
Speaker
because most of the time it's like, well, I know what I want to work on when we meet up again. And then it's like, then that morning happens and it's like, oh, I'm going to be, it's going to be, I'm going to be up for 24 hours. I'm going to go to sleep on Sunday or Saturday, you know, like in the morning, I like probably like eight o'clock and then I'll wake up at nine. And then, you know, then I have to like figure out how to recover so that I don't die on Monday. Yeah.
01:19:21
Speaker
And it's, and the thing is like, only thing I want to do is like meet up and work on Dickhead. I don't want to go to work. Oh yeah. No, I think every day, like, could I just have one day off of my day job and just, but, and just work on like every other aspect of life that's falling behind. I always keep thinking, man, we got to do another cabin trip. I just keep thinking, we got to do a cabin trip. Because to me, those cabin trips, it's,
01:19:47
Speaker
it's I can decompress and focus on what I want to do. I'm not worrying about what the kids are doing. I'm not worrying about if I have to go to work. It's just, buddy, you know the beer? Okay, what do you think about this cut? Like what we have this, this, or this, you know, I'm cutting in, am I cutting in too many frames? Like we can really just boil down and get to it because we have the time to kind of like just be the creatives that we are and not be like, well, hey buddy, you know, it's like,
01:20:16
Speaker
2 o'clock in the morning I gotta get out of here or something like that and you know we actually have. Just the time that we want if we want to work 16 hour days we can work 16 hour days everyone work 8 hour days and then watch movies or what it go to a bar and drink a little bit it's like we got like a huge amount of work done.
01:20:35
Speaker
And it's, you know, it's, and I always think about back when we were at the cabin, and I want to ask you this, because I was, I remember, I think I brought this up at the time, but it's been a while since we did that. I was just like, so this is what our life would be like if we were filmmakers full time. Yeah. And it was just like, wow, I couldn't imagine. Like it was it was so blissful. Yeah. There was no everything. It almost was too good. It was almost too perfect.
01:21:05
Speaker
that it was a stab. It was almost painful in a sense of how nice it was. It killed us with kindness that we had never known, or at least I had never known, where I was excited to wake up. And that's very rare for me. I don't really get very excited for things, but when we were in the cabin, I was like, I'm excited to look at these scenes. I've looked at them a million times. But I was excited to like, it was like, this is what we're here to do. We were like really, really vibing.
01:21:33
Speaker
we were really getting into it, we were really getting into the movie. And I was like, fuck, so like, I guess I can probably run over your question or your answer, but. Well, let me, let me add to this. Go for it. So please, let me stop talking. Is that, you know, you mentioned that and then we do have the weekends when we're off, but then that fatigue is so strong, right? And it's like,
01:22:00
Speaker
Like, do I want to do this or do I just want to get high and eat some pizza and watch the movies? And you know, sometimes that are, oftentimes, at least for me, that are just a lot stronger. It's not even, I want to interject one thing real quick. But what I'm saying ultimately is just having that rest and having that chance to just like,
01:22:22
Speaker
Look, I want to do this. I do, you know, the ambition's there because I feel like we're so close to getting to somewhere where we need to be at a pivotal point within whatever dickhead is. I mean, we're getting to that point and over dickhead, fucking dickhead, dude.
01:22:40
Speaker
It fucked us so bad. Fuck you, dickhead. But, you know, like, I feel like we're getting to such a good point within all of this and we're so close. It's like, dude, that finish line, man, I see it, dude. There's a fucking white line and it's not a finish line, it's not.
01:22:58
Speaker
But it's this pivotal goal. Yeah, it's this pivotal point that we're getting to and it's like, yeah, we're fucking tired. Yeah, we wanna just rest. But the only free time now we have is when we rest. So we have to put in that fucking half hour, man. It doesn't even have to be an hour. Don't even give an hour. But guess what, I'm not even, sometimes I'm not fucking doing any shit during the weekend.
01:23:25
Speaker
You know, if I at least gave a half hour, that'd be an hour of work done. But, you know, part of the problem too is like, I do bring it up and I'm working and I know where I need to get to a certain point, but then I get to this wall and it's just like, fuck. I'm so fucking tired. I don't know. I don't know if left is right. And then it's like, well, rest, that's probably what you need. You just need to like.
01:23:50
Speaker
That's what I was just- Put this aside, you need to not focus, but then there's also that fear of like, well, if you put it aside now, does it ever get better? Or is it only gonna be just this cascading thing, like the fucking climate breakdown, and you think you're propping it up, but you're really not fucking propping it up. You're just slowing down the cascade. You're putting the net as the canyon is falling and is cashing it as it's going in lower. We just keep building seawall after seawall. After seawall. After seawall.
01:24:18
Speaker
Yeah, and you know, I want you make a you make a fucking great point. But I also my counterpoint to this is and this is something you taught me and I have shit I've always I realized how important is you said you always have to give yourself a day. You'd always give yourself Sunday or whatever it is. And the problem is, is that day is like you always have to give yourself like
01:24:38
Speaker
20, 30 hours now. It's like a day just isn't enough with all the shit that's going on constantly. And you see... And then the stress from that, right? Because you know you're juggling all of this all at once, even if you can only do one at a time. Yeah. All of that's behind you and it's just fucking weighing you down. You're like, fuck, I'm taking too long.
01:24:58
Speaker
Yeah, but let me and you were kind of talking on this a bit too, but I want to elaborate on this and it's a big fear of mine is that you're so tired and out of it and unfocused and worried and stressed that you're not actually doing good work. Exactly. Your editing isn't good. You're not noticing the right cuts. You're just trying to get through it because you're trying to get through it.
01:25:19
Speaker
It's not like the gym. We always compare it to the gym where it's like you gotta get the reps and build up. But if you are just lifting poorly to keep the metaphor, you're doing more harm than good. If you're making bad cuts because you're tired and you're not really thinking and you're not focused,
01:25:38
Speaker
And then you're and it's like you're hurting yourself because you have to then go back and fix it. So instead of and I was thinking, you know, we're going to talk about this later. But it's like we just have to you just kind of have to accept that it's like, no, we have to take a break because we have to just like find a better place for us to get back to doing it right. No, that's very true. And I think that is correct.
01:26:06
Speaker
answer or I don't know. I don't know. I also feel like it's not just a day of rest that we need. Yeah. You know, and the scary part is will we wake back up? That's the scary part. And, you know, we know. And then we'll be here five years later. Oh, yeah, dickhead. We're almost there. Or, you know, even worse. Oh, yeah. That one movie we don't talk about anymore. Yeah. But Bubolowski.
01:26:34
Speaker
Yep. And, uh, dude, no, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. No, I can't. So it's like, we got to finish either. We finish or I don't know, man. It's just, we quit everything. It's fucking, well, to me, that fucking failure. Yeah. What we aspire to. I'll say to this, and then we'll get onto the next question is that it kind of feels like, uh,
01:27:01
Speaker
It hopefully feels like things are turning a bit of a corner. Things are starting to stabilize. This year has been crazy, catastrophic. I don't think it's been stabilizing for me. It hasn't really been. It's only wrapping up for me. I was going to say, it hasn't really been stabilizing, but I'm just trying to psych myself. Actually, it's been getting worse. I mean, maybe for you it's stabilizing. I'm just trying to psych myself into it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, man, we got this. We got this.
01:27:26
Speaker
Because for a while like there's like things were like some of the problems have gone away but then like other problems like it's like it's always something right so speaking of it's always something has this happened before do you have this have you had this brain drain this this war life burnout this exhaustion no not like this I think this has been
01:27:47
Speaker
the worst it's ever been, but I'll also say this, within all of the things I've ever tried to do and accomplish and like dreams set before me, I've never done it like I have now. And that's why for me, it's such a scary part because it's like, okay, well, you know, all that shit you believed and you thought you could do, do it, dude, it's now or not. You know?
01:28:16
Speaker
My aspirations aren't that big. I just want to be able to kind of keep on going, you know, and just not have a nine to five to worry about. If I could get to that state and feel confident to support me and my family, I am all for that. That's heaven. That's literally the definition of heaven. I am all for that 100%. But also there is that nine to five and, um,
01:28:42
Speaker
You just got a lot of other obligations and the reality, you probably don't have what it takes because you can't even fucking finish it. Like, get out of here, you fucking, you suck. You were this close and you didn't finish it. So, what was the question? Has it happened before?
01:29:04
Speaker
Yeah, not like this. It's definitely happened at times where I have to kind of walk away from what I'm doing like with photography. I mean, dude, I was obsessed with photography for a while. For like 10 years, I was constantly on it, creating these like stories and just exploring photography in my own little way. Yeah. And then after a while, like, it's hard for me to touch a camera at times, you know, I don't just have that urge to go and create because. Well, I guess I have, I feel like I have so much unfinished work in photography, like all these
01:29:35
Speaker
I don't know, I shot film, so I felt like, man, I gotta print every single picture for some reason. And I didn't really put in a lot of effort to a lot of the shots, and I've lost a lot of my eye. So, yeah, it has happened to me, but for this, it's like, this is what I really wanted to do, the storytelling, the writing, the movie making, if I can. It's like, dude, this is it, if this could be what I, and I don't want anything,
01:30:05
Speaker
More than that, you know, it's like, fuck, dude, I don't fucking want to be successful. I want to be able to generate a profit for those who need it because it's the industry it is. Yeah, we're all working to live. Yeah, we all got to work and, you know, those fucking studios, as much as they fucking make, they got to meet whatever quotas they're trying to make. Yeah. And if we can all just get to that point where we're all making what we feel is fair.
01:30:32
Speaker
I don't want to make more of that. I don't want to make like a hundred million as a director or anything like that. I don't want to direct a Marvel film. Just let me tell my little shit stories and then be on my way. I'm out of here. If I could achieve that, like I said, that's that is literally my definition of heaven.
Fear of Failure in Creative Pursuits
01:30:47
Speaker
Yeah. Because that means every day you're waking up to work on something you want to do.
01:30:51
Speaker
Yeah. And for and to answer the question for myself, I mean, I'm always like kind of like in this state, it's always like a battle. There's definitely times where I can be more motivated. It's generally just the more time I can actually just kind of catch up on things. And I think and I'll write about I write about this a little later. But there are definitely ways to battle this that I found for myself. It's just
01:31:21
Speaker
sometimes it's it's hard to even get ready for the fight to in an extent you're just like you're just you sometimes you and I think it's important to recognize when you start to get into this flow or this pattern so that you can start combat combating it and getting ready with with with other met whatever method you choose and then I think I just let it slip away from me it just it all just
01:31:48
Speaker
compounded too many straws in the camel. So what are the scariest outcomes for you? Well, I think I already said the scariest outcome is you believe you're a failure. Yeah, absolutely. What more scary outcome is there for anyone and what they want to achieve in life, right? Are you ready? Okay, here we go.
01:32:11
Speaker
I wrote, the scariest outcome is the inability to work on things I actually care about. Editing dickhead and hanging out with friends. When I have this brain drain burnout phase, I just completely retreat. I just do the minimum. I fight with myself to get anything done, even just playing with the kids. It's devastating and I think the problem is that it's not just one feeling, it's hundreds. It's the straws. They build and build until you break and are broken.
01:32:35
Speaker
So, and to me, it's the scary part is actually just breaking because I don't know what happens after that. It was like, when I just eat the gun, finally, you know, like, no, you'll just start actually crying in front of people. And you'll be like, I feel like this. You're like, oh, buddy. And you'll feel so broken because you had to admit to your deepest feelings. I'm opening it up. But what?
01:33:07
Speaker
I had the, I knew what I was going to say. Sorry, buddy. It's the blackout brownie. It's very strong. Can you give me a cliff notes real quick of what I said? The last part. Okay. It's devastating. And I think the problem is that it's not just one feeling, it's hundreds. It's the straws. They build and build until you just break and are broken. Yeah.
01:33:36
Speaker
I mean, that's what I'm saying too, right? There's no putting it back together. Yeah. And that's the scariest outcome. Like you're not going to wake up again. Yeah. And that's why I'm saying I feel like we're so close. We need to be like, Stephen, just give me a fuck at that. You have a canteen full. No, buddy. We just got to keep going for two more weeks and then you could have a drop of the water.
01:33:59
Speaker
it back there. I mean, it's so cold. Nobody. It's getting to you. It's getting to you. Don't rest. Keep going. Keep going. Listen to Moses motherfucker. It's just 40 days or whatever. But you know, that's also the ultimate. That's one of the scary parts to also is that I'm sure it is like, is it the rest we need or is it
01:34:21
Speaker
the extra effort we need. Because if we choose wrongly, it's like Indiana Jones, remember the Last Crusade, the other good Indiana Jones movie? And he has to choose the cup that Jesus drank from. And of course, the Nazi, fucking Nazi. He gets the nicest goblet that ever existed and he drinks and... Oh, spoilers. I heard you're supposed to say spoilers when a movie is like 50 years old.
01:34:50
Speaker
And then, Indy's like, look at that piece of shit, cup. I bet he drank out of that one, because Jesus was poor. He grew up in the major. And then, ah, feels his dad, right? Yeah, so we're poor. It'd been funny if he had tested on his dad first. Dad, you're dying anyway. Daddy, here, just take a quick sip. But it wouldn't have been, you know, he's a hero, Indy. But you know, it is that issue of,
01:35:18
Speaker
knowing which is the right choice because we pick the right choice, we get what we need. We pick the wrong choice. I think it is failure, dude. It's like we played Russian roulette long enough and it's like, okay, there's six chambers
Coping Strategies for Creative Stress
01:35:36
Speaker
And where, which one would we need to be on, number five? Yeah, we're literally on. No, we're on number four. We're on number four. It's a 50-50. Okay. The next bullet's either going to kill us or we get one more click. Either you know it, we're going to just say, you know what, you win. You win it all. It turned out the fucker shooting at the chest. Or we pull the trigger on ourselves and
01:36:01
Speaker
Yeah, man. No, you're right. Maybe that's where that brain drain is because it's so weird. It just feels so weird. It's not like I've had writer's block to an extent. I know we've also say we haven't had it, but I also know I have had it at some point in certain ways.
01:36:18
Speaker
And this just feels so different. It's like, yeah, the creativity's not there. I feel like I'm coming up with good ideas and they're percolating there and everything's working fine. It's just nothing's manifesting at the end. But the thing's wide open. I can clog the coffee drain. The percolator should be flowing. All the lines are clean, but still. There's a fish in the percolator. Damn it. Well, have you gone about riveting this or how do you hope to?
01:36:49
Speaker
I think taking a time out and not working for a little is a kind of recovery or find the motivation to trudge on. But do you think this is a safer process or is it dangerous? I don't know, man, because I would say I've been yelling at myself. But then like this past week or so, I was like, you know what, Stephen, let's just play magic. Let's download a.
01:37:12
Speaker
Baldur's Gate 3. Let's see what it's all about. Oh, there's also, uh, Armored Core 6. Oh, I've been playing. Oh, you have? Oh, yeah. I was going to get it, but I got Baldur's Gate 3. I was like, okay, I can't buy two games. I'm going to get what? Armored Core 6. If you like the Armored Core games, it's perfect. It is absolutely perfect.
01:37:32
Speaker
I literally spent hundreds of hours on Armored Core. All of them. Same. One, two, and three. I was like the demo disc kid. I would play the Armored Core demo. Me too. Hundreds of times. And I remember I would only ever rent it. I never actually owned the game. So I would rent it all the time. Every time I would get it. I loved Armored Core. My brother introduced it to me. He was because he always had like the video games. So I always like hanging around him, my older brother. Yeah.
01:37:58
Speaker
god this game like i think he had a playstation but like the first person i knew at the playstation and he had homeward core and i was like oh my god bro this is so fucking cool man remember the black screen and you have the little trees in front of you the building you're like like an at-at walking down some city and then that's inside of a big building and you're like
01:38:20
Speaker
Dude, just blowed up robots. The funny thing is, I've built my AC the same every single time. Mine's named Shadow. Mine's always named Shadow, actually. I was going to say mine might be named Shadow, but maybe... Oh, and then the blade? You know, the moonlight blade? The moonlight blade always gets hidden on a level. That's for the guy I like from Left 4 Dead, okay? Or what is it called? Left 4 Dead, Dead Alive Beach Volleyball. Yeah, Kasumi. Yeah. The Kasumi weapon.
01:38:49
Speaker
Yeah. And then I love it. And I have my little emblem, my face mask, because it was all black. And then I had a face mask that's sky blue. Yeah, you know, I would always paint. Yeah, I always paint my neck blue, black and then all my weapons and my arms red.
01:39:08
Speaker
I never paid the weapons and then I made an emblem. Yeah, I think it was like a little it was a katana stuck in the ground with like a ribbon flowing in the wind. Oh, yeah. I would never use the emblems because I was like, I'm independent.
01:39:23
Speaker
Well, no, because you could create your own. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I was like, hell no. I got my tattoo. But yeah, Armored Core 6. Yeah, so what? I may have a way for you to play it for free, buddy. So, we'll see. Hit me up, buddy. Because it looks pretty awesome, dude. I was watching the demo when it fights this huge creature in a sandstorm. When you're shooting its legs, I was like...
01:39:44
Speaker
Dude, that looks fucking cool. That was a fun fight, yeah. And I love too is like, well, it's kind of like an ease. I like that the difficulty is what you want it to be.
01:39:57
Speaker
In a sense, because, uh, you can reassemble your AC during like, one of those vanilla players, you're like, I don't use the rifle. No, no, no. Like if you die, uh, you can, and they're like, okay, this gun's not working. You can switch out which gun you're using and then jump into the checkpoint without having to replay the whole mission.
01:40:16
Speaker
So it's kind of like, so you can either just say like, no, this is what I chose. I'm fighting it out. Or you can be like, well, this guy's really weak to plasma and I have like two plasma cannons. And so I'll just switch to the plasma cannons and make the fight easier. Or it's like, no, I wanted the big bazookas on my back. Oh, really? So you can just restart it. Because before you would just be able to reselect, right? You'd have to quit out of the mission and start over. Yeah. So this one has checkpoints. And usually you'd go to the other mission.
01:40:44
Speaker
and be like, okay, I need to do that one really. I only need 20,000 more gold or whatever cash. It always break my heart when I didn't have enough money to have to sell something. I could get those new legs. I'd be blasted. I'm a little slow. I always buy my boosters, always make sure my boosters are... What was that sound? Did you hear that? No. Maybe. I don't know. You didn't hear like a... No.
01:41:10
Speaker
Oh, I think because you were shaking the cable, it shook my... Sorry, my leg's shaking. Damn, man, that sounded like I was in Armored Core. Oh, but yeah, Armored Core 6 is fun.
Creative Expression as Therapy
01:41:20
Speaker
It's just fun. Well, I want to try Baldur's Gate because I wanted something fantasy because magic is fantasy. So I was like, I want my fantasy now. So I bought it and then magic came out the next day and I've only been playing magic. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? I spent so much money on that game.
01:41:37
Speaker
I didn't want to play Baldur's Gate because I know I want to play. You know you're going to spend 100 hours. And I know I don't have 100 hours. The best part about Armored Core is it's missions. I can do one mission a day if I wanted. It's still like the old games. Oh, that's good. It's missions and arena against the different bots when you climb the ranks.
01:41:58
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm like, well, it's like, okay, I got home at like 730. I'm going to go to bend 30 minutes. I can go and kill a few max and then I can just go to bed. That's true. Cause with magic, like even though I'd never, I always go away later, but at least every game it's like, okay, this is the last game. Whereas like with bowlers gate, I'd probably be going to five in the morning every night. Yeah.
01:42:19
Speaker
I'd be like, he said the dwarf is right over that hill. I just got to get there. Come on, man. Just two more hours. That's all you need. I would, you know, I get, I get really sucked in and I'll just be like, well, I could probably survive on two hours a week. Uh, well, I need drink too. I need to pee and drink. Yeah, let's pause. What are, what are we at? The pause. So let's get into the question. Have you got, okay.
01:42:46
Speaker
How have you gone about remedying this or how do you hope to? Well, I think rest is what we need. I think I've been taking it, but I think I'm also very concerned how much time I'm taking. And that's probably not good either. No, because it still kind of keeps you focused on it. But we definitely need a kick in the butt because I think we've taken too much time. Yeah. And, you know, it is fun, like,
01:43:15
Speaker
You know, it's getting a little harder because, of course, we tax everyone around us, you know? We put this strain on everyone around us and you can tell that they're suffering our... We make it harder. Not suffering, but... We make it harder and we bear the guilt. But they're just, not even guilt, but they're just as much a part of it as we are by taking care, lifting up the other parts of our life that we're not lifting up correctly. Right, while we're doing the editing. Yeah, so there's that balance.
01:43:45
Speaker
that they're maintaining for our sake. So, ah.
01:43:54
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. We got to get back on it because we got to make it worth it for everyone who was a part of this, you know, and for ourselves too. Like everyone who was a part of this, we got to... We owe it to them to finish this. We owe it to them to finish. And, you know, let's do the best we fucking can. And, you know, with Dickhead,
01:44:18
Speaker
that we did that we would take it. That was the end of us, buddy. Hey, sometimes the end is just the beginning. I took mine into more of like a therapy, right? I guess you kept it more on topic on filmmaking. But here's what I wrote. Maybe this is a
01:44:39
Speaker
Call me out on my bullshit, I guess. Well, when you know, when I was peeing, I was thinking like, damn, this podcast is just our therapy. We're actually airing it. It is. What the fuck are we doing? We're literally airing our therapy. There's some weird ego masochist thing that we're like doing about this. I don't know. I'm just forcing people to listen to our suffering. Speaking of suffering, this is what I wrote.
01:45:05
Speaker
recognize you are suffering. Fight it however you can. I know it's dangerous to recommend the use of substances, but I am a big believer in the use of drugs like Edible's THC for just quieting your mind, allowing you to forget and have a little fun. Alcohol can do this too, but sometimes it just kicks in the ass harder than a donkey on steroids.
01:45:25
Speaker
Mushrooms and LSD, just to demolish your ego and allow a lot of little bullshit to melt away. It really is the little things that bug you, that you can't let go, that drain you more than anything, at least for me. I know for a fact when I have an idea and it's drilling into my mind, it doesn't let go, that I feel defeated and pathetic and then the self-pity starts and I just begin to drown with the if-only's. If-only's are so fucking dangerous.
01:45:55
Speaker
You should always avoid that statement. We're having a nice little drink right now. We're drinking these Sam Adams. I like the Sam Adams fall variety packs. They're always good and it's always nice to have a good variety pack because, and this is something that always pisses me off at restaurants. I know this is a huge tangent and I just talked about how depressing life is.
01:46:22
Speaker
And I'm gonna talk about how much I like that you get a little bit of variety. Like sometimes I wish like 12 packs were just like you, it was just like single cans at the grocery store. So you can go, I only want like two Pepsi's and I don't want like two Cokes. Like I don't want a 12 pack. That's how it is in other places. I don't know, maybe. I'm sure a single can of soda is like $16 now.
Substances and Self-care
01:46:49
Speaker
We live in the dystopia, buddy.
01:46:51
Speaker
But what do you think about the use of drugs for self care and stuff like that, buddy? I wanted to bring up something, and I know I just asked you a question, but let me just go with this real quick little thing, because I was thinking about it, and this year I haven't really done any trips, not at all. What do you mean by trips? You mean like vacations? Sure, the other dimensions.
01:47:19
Speaker
Cause I was just thinking like, if you, uh, subscribe to our Patreon, you know, patreon.com slash, you can see that there's a, there's like a twin shadow journey, a little video I put on there. Oh, free. You don't even have to pay us. You can watch it for free, I believe. And it's essentially Steven and I doing our trip out to Vegas. Was that last year? Was that two years ago? Sweet child. That was like.
01:47:47
Speaker
Five years ago, dude. No, it was two years ago. No, because that was the pre... That was us going to see what we were going to shoot for Grace when she came out. So that was like... Two years ago. No. It was two years ago. It was probably at least three. It was two years ago. Three, the desert tortoise? Yeah. Yeah. Three years ago. Man, so it's been a long time, so...
01:48:16
Speaker
Right? Well, when did we shoot with Grace? That was only a year ago. 2021. 2021? Because we just shot with Grace a few months ago. Yeah, not that, but I mean at my sister's house. Yeah. 2021. 2021, two years ago. Okay, so two and a half years ago then. Yeah. Because we shot, we did the preliminary at the start of the year? Summer? Yes. We did it in summer and then we shot in October.
01:48:43
Speaker
What are we talking about? All of your trip. Yeah. And it's like, you know, it's been a while and I think, I think there is a lot of therapy in it. So when you saw the American dream? And I think, yeah, when I saw the American dream, uh,
01:48:59
Speaker
Change your perspective, didn't it? The thing is, and that I think that I think is important is it's not like a recreational, like you don't do it every weekend. No, never. You don't abuse it. Right. It's like me another beer. No, I'm kidding. I was going to say right there. I know. Oh, I'm ready. But but like if like I'm talking specifically LSD or like a heroic dose, it's like once, maybe twice a year bookended.
01:49:29
Speaker
Um, and it kind of, what did, like, I think that ego dissolve, uh, dissolve. Cause you kind of do just drown in your own self-pity. And I think, uh, that that's real dangerous. And the best part about those, uh, those two substances and, and, uh, are, are that they just, they just drain the pool. Right? I mean, it's like, Oh, and you're like, wait a minute.
01:49:57
Speaker
It was only up to my ankles, right? And then it kind of lets you reset. And that's really nice. Key word right there. You hear him? He said reset. But I would say... Yeah, I want to hear your thoughts on this. I mean, the reality is you got to be careful, dude, because this shit fucks people up.
01:50:19
Speaker
We don't really know what it does, how it affects people, how repeated use will do. I mean, you're really kind of taking that gun, that Russian roulette, right? Because I've had friends who messed with a lot of the stuff we dab into and they've completely lost it. But man, mushrooms are pretty fucking good, man. And I will stand by that. You know, like every time I've had them,
01:50:49
Speaker
are known of people who have had them with me, or just giving it to them. Hypothetically, if I saw someone in need, I'd be like, here's a mushroom, take a heroic dose.
01:51:06
Speaker
And, you know, it's not like it's fun and it's beautiful, but in the weirdest way, because it just gives you this whole new perspective of life and existence. And it kind of just makes you appreciate what you have and value things differently and just changes the perspective to, I think, a more positive, but also realistic perspective, but in the, you know, in the direction of positivity, as opposed to sometimes I think realistic normally, but in the negative.
01:51:36
Speaker
I like that it sheds the baggage. Exactly, it lets you believe in a happiness. It's not all gonna be struggle, it's not all gonna be suffering that at some point you're gonna be really happy, because you're gonna be living a life that you wanna live in.
01:51:52
Speaker
I know you're probably, I shouldn't probably openly talk about drug use so much, but I don't do it very often. Like I said, it's, I do LSD once, twice a year. But one thing I will say about LSD is that every time after I do it, it's always like my fucking face hurts for like two days because I was smiling so much that my face muscles are actually like sore because of how it's like, and
01:52:21
Speaker
For me, it means a lot. Even just that night. When we did that night in Vegas, it was just a huge reset. When we were in the cabin, it was a huge reset. It just resets everything. It just resets your ego, your karma, whatever.
01:52:42
Speaker
whatever your spiritual baggage is, it just allows you to deal with it. And goddamn, if that's not, it's like, oh, you get to start. It's like your Sisyphus and somehow the rock gets bigger every day. You get to start with the small rock again. Yes, you're still going to push that fucking rock up the hill. Yes, it's going to grow. And eventually you're going to have to deal with it again.
01:53:05
Speaker
But it's nice to reset that rock to that small size and give you that breather, right? And then, I mean, maybe that's just what I need to do. I've been thinking about it a lot. I just kind of need to drain the pool. And I think it's, it's not even, because even for me, it's like, I'm like a tank, dude. I'll just go until the goddamn gas runs out. It's just, it's the mental exhaustion that gets me.
01:53:33
Speaker
Like when we were doing like the seven days, that's fine if I'm having a good time. But man, when you got that mental stress, that agony, that way it's like, what is it?
Growth from Creative Challenges
01:53:49
Speaker
To drop a bowling ball and a feather that'll fall at the same time if there's like a zero gravity or whatever, or the same gravity, but there's no resistances, like in a vacuum.
01:54:04
Speaker
Yeah. But we don't live in a vacuum and the bowling ball really fucking hurts. They land on you, you know, land on your toe. You ever had a feather land on your toe? It's like, oh, you know, a bowling ball land on your toe. Oh, shit. Yeah. And that's how the feathers force gum. Well, let's talk about feathers. Can anything good come from this? Come from it. Yeah, if you make the right choice.
01:54:34
Speaker
Right? Cause it, it'll be like, yes, I need that rest. Or if it's like, yes, when I'm at the finish line, I know I need to keep going. Like I do think it is different approaches too, for different people. I really do. You know, but for me, at least it's like, like a, it's an intelligent rest, but it's also like just for the sake of being able to keep going at the best, you know?
01:55:04
Speaker
Yeah, I get so sucked into my tangents. It's like feeling up in a race, right? Yeah. You know, you're going to lose position, but you know you've got to finish, you've got to get an X amount of fuel to finish the race at whatever time you're aiming for. And that's how we are. But there is no second place, you know, in a sense. Like we need to get that first place so we can get on to the next project. Exactly.
01:55:29
Speaker
I wrote an answer and then a huge tangent. I guess I'll just read it. And the question is, can anything good come from this? And I said, well, you can spend that many ways. Sure, there is a good amount of suffering. Did I spin it well? And there's a healthy dose of suffering. Working a 16 hour day on set to get all the shots you need, that can be healthy. Like going to the gym, you tear down a bit so you can build it back stronger. You just have to not make every day 16 hours and kill yourself trying to do it.
01:55:59
Speaker
Yeah. Cause I think like when you just pull it and you just sit or sometimes when you just have to just force it and just make it work, that can be good, but it's also destructive sometimes. So it's like, it's really just knowing when you need to push or when you need to take a break.
01:56:23
Speaker
Well, no, that's a beautifully way to put it in perfectly. Yeah. It's like, it's the body. It's all a part of the body, right? We're all body. So how do, how do you hope to handle this next time? Can any printed preventive measures be done? Yes. Cause it won't be dickhead and it won't be, yeah, mainly it just won't be dickhead. Right. Really? Yeah. For both of us. Like.
01:56:55
Speaker
I think if there is a next time, it would be like hell man, there's a fucking next time. All right. Yeah, exactly. It's like there was a next time I'm in and you know, if it fails, well, I'll figure it out then. And the best part is, uh,
01:57:10
Speaker
We get to go through everything again, all the fun parts and all the pain and hopefully more fun than pain, but with the wisdom. Because the thing is, as someone said, would you do Dickhead again with what you know now? And yeah, I would tell that story again better. We would do it so much better this time around.
01:57:31
Speaker
But this is the one that we could make, and this is the best that we could make it with the knowledge that we had. And hopefully this is a calling card to let you know, to watch out for these old men in their walkers. Man, I just was on it with the goddamn small things. I wrote another tangent. Yeah, go ahead, man.
01:58:00
Speaker
How can you handle this next time? Can any preventative measures be done? No. No, I think there are. Practical ones, these three practical ones, hold on. I say no and then I go on to give, to refute myself. Three practical ones though? Yes, go ahead. Exercise. Sleep.
01:58:23
Speaker
and fuck a lot. Okay, well, good luck. Damn. Good luck on that one. They really didn't like the penis, buddy. They say, you know, damn it. You gotta pay them to like the penis and then they only pretend to like the penis. I was only 50 more dollars for the video. That's right. And it would have been a three minute long video
01:58:49
Speaker
Oh, Stevie. He's got a big BV. Can I have my $50? Yes. Can I have it a repeat? Just send it as a gift. Oh, yes. Okay. Oh, so you're three. Oh, yeah. That's it. You got it.
01:59:14
Speaker
Oh, I got it. Thanks. So generally, no. I think the problem and the danger is the accumulation of all the small things. Cue the blink 182. When big catastrophic things happen, there is a different way to combat this. And those things tend to take your life and you just have the one battle. Sometimes finding Goliath is easier than fighting an army of toothpick wielding midgets.
01:59:37
Speaker
It's when things start to get dark and bad. Often in my experience, you are blinded by the light and you need the dark to snuff it out. So you can find yourself in the dark tunnel. When the light is just but a pinprick and you start your metaphorical journey towards it, that's when things start to get better. It's not rock bottom, but it's dark. Really just find what works for you. Be it getting away to nature to soak up the positive energy, have a drink with buddies, drop a heroic dose and fight the demons or watch them just wash away.
02:00:09
Speaker
And I have a wrap-up. Because that was the last question. Did you have a wrap-up, buddy? Or did you have any comment on what I said? The last question was, do you think any good can come of this? And the answer was, no. No, this was, how do you hope to handle this next time, get any preventers to be done? And I just went on a completely different tangent. Did you ask how any good can come of this? Yes, we talked about that.
02:00:38
Speaker
Was it a good answer? Yes. All right, well, that's what I close with. All right, so then I wrote a little wrap up and I'll read it and then we're gonna actually just call it cut. So I wanted to wrap up by saying everyone is unique in this. We share many struggles and remedies for those struggles, but we all have our own chemistry and health we have to figure out for ourselves. I think the main commonality is that everyone struggles. Hell, existence is a struggle.
02:01:05
Speaker
You as an individual with conscious thought have to find what works for you. We can help and guide, but at the end of the day, you are personally responsible for your life and care. It's great to have a good support system, but you cannot be carried through life. We are all Atlas and we all carry the burden of the world. Finding a safe and healthy way to get through the day will allow you to use that English for art. It allows us to create on deeper levels. Let's play some fucking magic. Cut.