Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
67. My Program Launch Failed (So Let's Talk About Rejection)
120 Plays4 days ago
In this solo episode, I’m getting honest about one of the hardest parts of being a dancer (and a human) - rejection. I recently launched a brand new mentorship program - and it totally flopped. So I’m sharing with you the process I used to coach myself through the disappointment and the lessons I learned along the way.
Key Points in this Episode:
- Why rejection doesn’t define your worth as a dancer or artist
- The hidden wins in experiences that don’t go as planned
- Common mistakes dancers (and entrepreneurs) make when putting themselves out there
- How imposter syndrome can sabotage opportunities - and how to push back
- Why you need to talk about your work way more than you think
- How to ask for feedback and what to do when you don’t get it
- Reframing rejection as redirection in your career and life
Tune in to talk through the emotions, the mindset shifts, and the practical lessons that can help dancers (and anyone pursuing a big dream) handle rejection with resilience.
Let’s connect!
My WEBSITE: thebrainyballerina.com
INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/thebrainyballerina
1-1 Career Mentoring: book your complimentary career call
Questions/comments? Email me at caitlin@thebrainyballerina.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Caitlin and Brand New Ballerina
00:00:04
Speaker
I'm Caitlin, a former professional ballerina turned dance educator and career mentor, and this is the Brand New Ballerina podcast. I am here for the aspiring professional ballerina who wants to learn what it really takes to build a smart and sustainable career in the dance industry.
00:00:20
Speaker
I'm peeling back the curtain of professional dance world with open and honest conversations about the realities of becoming a professional dancer. Come along to gain the knowledge and inspiration you need to succeed in a dance career on your terms.
Addressing Rejection in Dance
00:00:38
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Brainy Ballerina Podcast. Caitlin here today with a solo episode and I had planned for this to be the back to school, back to dance episode, but there's something else I just really want to talk about right now that has been on my mind and it is rejection.
00:00:56
Speaker
in the dance industry, something that we have all faced or will face if we stay in this industry.
Launch of a New Mentorship Program
00:01:02
Speaker
I recently posted about this on Instagram in terms of a rejection that I faced, and I was flooded with messages from people letting me know that that was so helpful for them to see somebody talk about it and talk about what the reality of being in this industry.
00:01:18
Speaker
And so I felt like I really wanted to come on the pod today and talk about it with you. So I'm sure you've seen, if you follow me on social media, if you're on my email list, or I talked about on the pod even, that I just launched a new mentorship program for professional dancers.
00:01:34
Speaker
The program was called The Core Core, and it was a mentorship program for dancers in their first one to three years in a professional company. I've really seen with the clients I work with and with just my own experience and dancers I teach that those first years in a professional company are really, really difficult.
00:01:53
Speaker
You finally get the job and then what now, right? There's so much to figure out. And I wanted to have a program that was there for dancers to help guide them through that process.
00:02:04
Speaker
I've really dreamed of this program for many years because I've always felt like this was such a pivotal stage in a dancer's life. I feel like I see a lot of dancers who don't make it past those first couple years.
00:02:17
Speaker
And I just really felt like if they had more support, they would be able to. And maybe they would make the choice not to continue in the industry, but I want it to be their choice, not one that's made for them.
Reflecting on Mentorship Program's Reception
00:02:28
Speaker
So I really worked hard behind the scenes for – I've been dreaming of it for years, but I've been working on it for months to make sure everything was ready to go. i launched the program. I talked about it really intensely for a few weeks.
00:02:41
Speaker
But honestly, my launch was met with crickets. Over the course of my two- to three-week launch, I received just three applications for the program.
00:02:51
Speaker
And the only reason I had applications was not to be super intense or anything, just so that I can make sure that the dancers who are in the program were the right fit because is such a specific program geared toward dancers at a certain stage of life.
00:03:07
Speaker
And I didn't want somebody signing up and spending their money and their time on something that wasn't going to work for them. So out of the three applications I received, only two really qualified for the program. So i only had two people who were qualified at this stage in their career and interested.
00:03:26
Speaker
And I was honestly really, really shocked. I felt like I had done the market research. I'd had a lot of conversations with dancers I work with, with other people in the industry.
00:03:38
Speaker
And when I launched it, I received so many messages from other former pro dancers like myself who were really affirming that this is the type of community and program that is needed in the industry. And so i was feeling really good about that.
00:03:53
Speaker
Everyone who's been there before was like, yes, this is what we need. I wish I had this when I was a dancer. This is amazing. But when it came to having the dancers who are currently in that stage of life apply or even be interested, i really was met with not much interest.
00:04:12
Speaker
And my initial response was to just spiral into a bottomless void of self-doubt And I just wanted to throw in the towel completely. i felt like my imposter syndrome really just rearing its ugly head which I always struggle with, but it was extra.
00:04:30
Speaker
And it was really hard to face that kind of rejection because I really believed in this program. I really wanted it to run. And so just not having the interest right away was tough.
Recognizing Achievements and Learning from Mistakes
00:04:41
Speaker
But I've been in this industry for 16 years. Before that, I was obviously going to summer intensives, going to college auditions. I am no stranger to rejection.
00:04:54
Speaker
I have faced it many times. I've learned a lot about it along the way. And this is the exact scenario that I coach my clients through. all the time when they are going through audition season and they're getting rejection after rejection and reminding them that it's not always about them.
00:05:11
Speaker
It's about something else going on that's outside of their control. So I felt like I needed to do some self-coaching for myself to work through all these feelings I was feeling about this program not quite working out.
00:05:25
Speaker
And I want to share this with you today because I think it will help you to work through some of these feelings as they come up for you throughout your career. So first, I had to go back and celebrate the big wins.
00:05:36
Speaker
In any process, in any rejection, there's still growth. There's still wins. You're still learning something. And you have to give yourself
Imposter Syndrome and Promotion Challenges
00:05:43
Speaker
credit for those things that you realize that you have achieved something and you have reached a new level, even if it wasn't where you quite wanted to go yet.
00:05:52
Speaker
So my first big win was that I dreamed up something I created from scratch. This didn't exist in the dance world. And I saw a need. I saw a gap.
00:06:03
Speaker
And I created it. I did all the work and I think that's really, really cool. And also a huge one is that I did have three dancers apply. You know, that mindset shift of like, oh, I only had three dancers interested to, wow, I had three dancers who see the value in this program and were ready to take the leap.
00:06:23
Speaker
I decided I couldn't run the program with just the two that were qualified because a huge aspect of the program was the community portion. And it didn't feel fair to them to really go all in on a community when it's that small. Not that a community can't be small, but I just didn't feel like it was going to offer the value that it needed to at that stage.
00:06:47
Speaker
But still, a huge win that I did have three dancers who thought, hey, I could really use this and I'm going to apply for the program. So I can have a moment to celebrate all those things that I did really well and then take some time to look at my mistakes.
00:07:03
Speaker
I feel like the first mistake that I made with launching this program was just this assumption that if I build it, they will come. right I thought that after six years in business and way, way more in the dance industry, about six years since I started the Brainy Ballerina LLC, felt like I was established enough in this space that once I pressed go, I would have applications rolling in. That people would immediately be like, yes, I've been waiting for this. I wanted this.
00:07:30
Speaker
And that it would just happen. The lesson is no, you still got to do all the nitty gritty work. You still got to put yourself out there a lot. You have to talk about your work so so so so, so, so, so much. They used to say it takes people seven times to see something before they even act on it. But in the online space now and with where our attention spans are as consumers, it takes us way, way, way more times to see something, to actually start to grasp it and to think, hey, I could use this.
00:08:02
Speaker
So As the launch went on, I decided to be a little bit more proactive with talking about it even more than I had planned originally, but I still think it was maybe too little too late. My second mistake was I let imposter syndrome get the best of me. I said this a few minutes ago that I've always struggled with imposter syndrome, and it really got to me in this program.
00:08:24
Speaker
I had so many people tell me that I should be approaching companies directly. with this program and pitching it to them for their training programs for their dancers. But I really chickened out of that. I felt like, who am I to take this to companies?
00:08:40
Speaker
They'll just laugh me out the door. you know I'm nobody. And I really ignored my cardinal rule as a dance career mentor is if you don't ask, the answer is always no. And I coach my dancers through that all the time.
00:08:53
Speaker
Don't count yourself out. That's not your job. Your job is to just put your work out there, audition, a apply, whatever it is, and then they get to decide if it's yes or a no. But you don't decide for them because you don't know what they're looking for. You don't know if you're the right person.
00:09:08
Speaker
And I tell people that all the time, but in my situation, I really just chickened out and I didn't go for it. And I would say my third mistake was that I wasn't realistic with my time and my energy. I tried to launch this program during the summer with two small children, really limited childcare, and I really didn't take into account my circumstances and my capacity I think that any dancer can understand this. We just always want to do more. We're always trying to fit more into our schedule.
00:09:37
Speaker
We are used to managing our time really effectively and doing a lot. So we probably do have a greater capacity than the average person to get what needs to be done done. But I had so many good ideas from my colleagues of ways that I could market my program and get it in front of more people that I just wasn't able to execute because of my time.
00:09:56
Speaker
So again, it was like the ideas were there, drive was there, but the capacity
Redefining Success and Handling Rejection
00:10:02
Speaker
wasn't there. And if those don't match up, it's not going to happen. So here's what I'm taking away from all of this and what I think you might need to hear and take away as you go through this career.
00:10:13
Speaker
the first is that rejection does not define you. I still know that I'm good at what I do and that my work is valuable. One program not running does not mean that I'm a failure.
00:10:26
Speaker
Even while this was happening, i had so many other successes going on in other areas of my business. Teaching opportunities that I've wanted for years were happening for me.
00:10:37
Speaker
Workshop opportunities, one-on-one mentorship opportunities, so many other great things happening. And this one thing not working doesn't mean that I'm bad at what I do. It just means that either I didn't market it well enough, it wasn't the right program, i need to reassess,
00:10:54
Speaker
and maybe make some tweaks to it. But it doesn't mean that I'm a failure and that I should quit because I know that what I do is valuable and it helps people. The second takeaway is that nobody has it made in the shade.
00:11:07
Speaker
All the dancers you see online who you think are killing it, they still struggle. Every single person struggles. And I also really wanted to talk about this because I was getting that from everyone in my life. i would be talking to my friends. I'd be talking to people in the industry and they'd be like, wow, you're doing so many amazing things. Your business looks like it's really thriving and flourishing and how exciting for you.
00:11:28
Speaker
And it was really exciting. And again, there were some really great things happening, but this particular thing wasn't going well, but you wouldn't know that. by looking at my Instagram. And this happens more than you think, and people just don't talk about it.
00:11:42
Speaker
And we don't realize that everyone is facing failures all the time. And a lot of people came to me after I posted about this and said, wow, that was really brave. And I just didn't really feel like it was particularly brave.
00:11:55
Speaker
I really appreciated that. That made me feel really good that people would say that to me. But from my point of view, i thought it was necessary. Anyone who knows me knows that I do not have a poker face. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I'm very honest.
00:12:10
Speaker
often to a fault. And I just didn't think that it was in line with my business values to not talk about something like this that didn't go well because I don't want people to think that I am out here always getting every single job that I want and all my programs are filled to capacity and everything is working perfectly because that's not realistic. And I never want people to think that's where they should be aspiring to because you're never going to get there.
00:12:36
Speaker
No matter how long you're in the industry, there's always going to be rough patches. The more that we can talk about that, the more it normalizes it and the better people feel with failure and getting more comfortable with things not happening the way they want them to and then moving on and trying something else instead of saying, okay, that didn't happen, now I quit.
00:12:56
Speaker
Which leads me to my next point is that rejection is normal. Again, it doesn't matter how long you're in this industry. It still happens. It still stings. It still hurts. But it is very normal and it happens to all of us.
00:13:08
Speaker
And the last big takeaway is that you have to talk about your work a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. However much you just thought in your head you should talk about it, multiply that by 10.
00:13:21
Speaker
When I was going through this launch period, I think I sent out about three to four emails a week. And I had a decent number of people unsubscribe from my email list during this period, which is normal and I expected that.
00:13:32
Speaker
But it's so funny because when people unsubscribe, they can tell you, at least on my platform, why they are. And most people said, you send too many emails. And that was their reason for unsubscribing.
00:13:43
Speaker
And so it's really easy for me to say, oh my gosh, I'm talking about this too much. I'm bombarding them. It's too much. But then I went in my email and I looked up how many emails I had gotten from Old Navy in the past week.
00:13:55
Speaker
And it was 30. 30 emails. thirty emails So if Old Navy can send me 30 emails about their new tank tops, I've got to be okay with sending three or four emails or more about my program that I know would be life-changing for dancers.
00:14:11
Speaker
And it's going to feel like a lot if the program's not for you. If you're getting this over and over again and that's not what you need, then yeah, it is going to feel like you're getting bombarded with emails. But I need to reach the right person who needs this and they may need to hear about it that many times before they take action.
00:14:27
Speaker
One thing that I heard that's always stuck with me when I started my business is that selling is serving because selling can feel really icky. And it's the same thing with dancers. Networking, going out there, making connections, talking to people, it can feel kind of icky. you want people to come to you.
00:14:43
Speaker
But just remember that selling is serving. You are giving them what they need, right? Like you are telling the consumer, in my case, it's dancers who are in their career, hey, I have this program that will really help you. Let me tell you about it because I think this would really make a difference in your life.
00:15:03
Speaker
That's my job as a business owner to help people come into my program and get the benefits. As a dancer, maybe it's The thought process of, I know this director needs a dancer for this performance, so I have to sell my work to them because that is what they need. So I am serving them by showing them I can do this, right?
00:15:27
Speaker
So just having that reframe of, it's not icky to put yourself out there. is serving somebody who needs it. And not everyone is going to need what you have to offer, but you're only going to find those people if you put it out there.
00:15:40
Speaker
So just a reminder that you have to talk about your work so much more than you think that you need to. The next step in the process is to get feedback. A lot of times you will not hear back from companies or from directors about why you didn't get the job.
00:15:52
Speaker
And I know that's frustrating, but just think about how many people they would have to contact to reach out to every single person. It's hard and you can ask for feedback and hope that you'll get some, but oftentimes you won't hear anything.
00:16:06
Speaker
So one really nice thing about my business is that I was able to ask for feedback from my community. And I specifically said in my Instagram post, if you're interested in this program, why didn't you apply?
00:16:18
Speaker
Was it cost? Was it commitment? Was it something else? What was it I want to hear from you? And what was so interesting was that once again, I heard from so many of my colleagues and former pro dancers and people in the same stage of life as me who were like,
Navigating Information Overload
00:16:34
Speaker
this was an amazing program.
00:16:36
Speaker
We really need this. Try again. but I heard from very, very few dancers. And I think there is still just a stigma for young dancers of asking for help or admitting that you need help.
00:16:50
Speaker
To be quite honest, my one-on-one programs are generally full during audition season, right? But when it comes to a group coaching program or even just posting publicly on someone's Instagram post, I've gotten a lot of crickets. And I think it's just hard to put yourself out there and say, hey, I need help and have other people see you.
00:17:10
Speaker
in that space because you don't want to seem like you don't know what you're doing. i feel like I spent the first few years of my career just trying to fake it till I made it and trying to pretend that I knew what I was doing even though I was so confused.
00:17:22
Speaker
So one thing I want dancers to know is don't let the fear of looking quote unquote stupid scare you from taking action or from asking for help.
00:17:33
Speaker
I promise you that most other people that you talk to are probably also faking it or probably also confused. ever Everyone's just trying to put on this great front. And a lot of it is because it's what we're trained to do as dancers, right? Like we learn pretty early to put on a happy face and smile even when something's really hard and not to make it look hard and to make it look effortless and easy even though it is super duper hard.
00:17:55
Speaker
And that starts to filter through into everything we do. It's okay to say that things are hard that you need help. And I will say that I do think – that this online landscape is sort of changing.
00:18:07
Speaker
And I think things are changing for me as a business owner. I think for a lot of my colleagues and for myself, our business really started growing during COVID because we couldn't see people in person. And so dancers needed a lifeline and we're turning to the internet.
00:18:24
Speaker
And there was just this need to connect with other people. Like that's why I got so into social media around that time and posting and sharing more of myself because I felt this need to connect with people. And I think a lot of dancers did that at that time as well. And now our lives are really back to normal.
00:18:40
Speaker
I know that people still use the internet and social media. I'm not saying that's going away, but I just think people are craving something different now and they're craving more human interaction and more what feels like genuine interaction I know personally i am. Like I have been wanting to be and the dance studio more, just being around other dancers and teachers and people. Like I just want to live in that space where before I was really okay with having that distance.
00:19:08
Speaker
And I've talked to a lot of my colleagues who have said, hey, my programs that are normally sold out and all my things that I've been doing are also not going well. I've been part of events that have been canceled because of low enrollment.
00:19:19
Speaker
So there's definitely something shifting. And my theory is that we are just being bombarded with information right now. Like for myself as a mom, I – follow a lot of different parenting pages on Instagram and I have gotten so much great information from them and a lot of life-changing tips, information, things that have made me a much better patient parent.
00:19:42
Speaker
And my mom has said like, it's so amazing that you have access to all of these things, all this information about parenting that we didn't have when we were parenting. And it's so true. And at the same time, it can be too much and it can be hard to sift through what you need and what's going to be helpful for you, and then to take that and then use it to trust your own intuition and parent the child that you have, not the child that is talked about on social media or someone else's kid.
00:20:10
Speaker
So as dancers, I feel like it's the same thing. We have access to so much information that it can be overwhelming. And there are so many different people saying, you should do this, you should do this. no like it's a lot.
00:20:23
Speaker
And My thing is always to come back to what do you need as a dancer? Like every time I work with a dancer one-on-one, that is what we're doing first is figuring out what their goals are what they want out of their career, and what they need to reach that next place.
00:20:38
Speaker
Because if you don't know what you need, you're getting all this information bombarded at you and you don't know how to choose the next right thing to do that would really help you. So you just do nothing, right? It's like decision overwhelm.
Adapting to Post-Pandemic Changes
00:20:50
Speaker
It's easier to choose between three things than 50 things. And I also feel like every time I go on social media, my brain feels like it's going to explode because I'm going from catastrophic news huge tragedies to a funny meme every other second. It's flipping, flopping so quickly.
00:21:07
Speaker
We're going back and forth so much. It's just really hard to even process anything. And I don't want to be part of that noise. I don't want just to be noise on the internet of like another thing you need to worry about. My whole thought process of this program was to be like, let's gather a group of people in the same stage of life and I'm going to give you exactly the tools that will help you.
00:21:28
Speaker
So you don't have to figure out every single day what's real, what's not, what's helpful for you, what's not helpful for you. You just have a really central supportive community that you can go to that will help you figure all of this stuff out.
00:21:43
Speaker
So I still believe in that, but I don't know I'm going to move forward with it. I do want to try again and probably a different iteration or a different way, but um going to take some time to think about it and figure out how I can meet dancers.
00:21:58
Speaker
where they are to give them the information that they need because I really do believe in my work and I do believe in everything I'm doing and my colleagues are doing in this space. But I do think that the landscape is changing and we need to figure out a different way to meet dancers, to help them to not be overwhelming and to be a really safe space for people because it's hard to know who to trust And I never take that lightly. When dancers work with me and they put their trust in me, I take that so, so, so seriously because I know what a big deal that is.
00:22:31
Speaker
But I know it can be scary to meet someone on the internet and put your trust in them, right? Like that feels really hard and tough. And so i have a lot of in-person events coming up this fall that I'm really excited for. And I'm just starting to feel like maybe that is – going to be the way forward that I'm not going to stop showing up on social media and I'm not going to stop talking about my work on there.
00:22:55
Speaker
But I am feeling like I want to be out in this ecosystem more and I want to be with people and I want to be just making those face-to-face connections. And I'm sad that this program didn't work out this round, but I also think that there's maybe something that's is meant for me that's going to happen that I just didn't know about yet and there's a reason. I'm not one those people who thinks everything happens for a reason. I really don't. I think there are some things that are just incredibly tragic and awful and there's no good reason. So I'm not saying that everything happens for a reason.
00:23:26
Speaker
But I do think in the case of a rejection like this, it's often redirection. Redirecting you to something else you didn't know was available for you to figuring out a better way to do something opening you up to more possibilities and making you – Use your critical thinking muscle and use your creativity and come at it a different way to figure out a different solution.
00:23:49
Speaker
So I'm just kind of leaning into this redirection and i am still so open to feedback about this. I would love to hear from you. You can comment on this episode if you're on Spotify or you can send me a DM, an email.
00:24:04
Speaker
I am a real person here who is just trying to build a small business and help dancers and give people the tools that I really wish that I had as a young dancer. That's always my driving force and what I come back to.
00:24:17
Speaker
and I think sometimes you see someone in the air net and it doesn't feel like they're a real person, but I truly am ah real person with real feelings, hopes, ambitions, disappointments, all of it, just like you.
00:24:29
Speaker
So I would love to connect with you and hear your thoughts and hear more about what you need and how I can help you because it really has become my life's work to fill this niche in the dance industry and to help dancers build smart, sustainable careers.
00:24:43
Speaker
So let's connect. And i hope this can serve as a reminder for all of us that rejection happens. It's okay. We're going to keep going. Sometimes we just need to reassess and make a new plan.
00:24:59
Speaker
Thank you for tuning into the Brainy Ballerina podcast. If you found this episode insightful, entertaining, or maybe a bit of both, I would so appreciate you taking a moment to leave a rating and hit subscribe.
00:25:12
Speaker
By subscribing, you'll never miss an episode. And you'll join our community of dancers passionate about building a smart and sustainable career in the dance industry. Plus your reigns help others discover the show too.
00:25:25
Speaker
I'll be back with a new episode next week. In the meantime, be sure to follow along on Instagram at The Brainy Ballerina for your daily dose of dance career guidance.