Transcript
Speaker: Hi friends, I wanted to come on today, do a little mini episode and just touch base and let you know some of the things that I have been moving through.
Speaker: I will first say thank you so much for your support, the love, the kind words, everything that you have been sending our way while my son has been recovering. He is trending positive, healing, not in any pain, just learning how to get around with two legs in cast. But we are excited about this and what he will be able to
Speaker: do once he is healed and through some PT and recovery. So thank you for all of that love and support. It has been an interesting week. We did go to a hospital setting that is so foreign, thankfully.
Speaker: just so grateful and have so much empathy for people who may be dealing with healthy concerns or have children dealing with health concerns, family members, where they are in that environment of a medical hospital setting, I just could see
Speaker: and feel a lot of different emotions and intensity and all of that took me a little while to get grounded and back into my body. I felt like I was able to be very present and
Speaker: hold space in the process of what was happening. And I'm proud of myself for that. It was kind of like, for me, so out of the norm. And again, I'm very grateful for that. But we got home and I've been getting grounded and settled in and I was
Speaker: feeling into this week's podcast because part of me, a very familiar part of me, wanted to just jump right back in and get back into the routine. I have a little bit of a system going now and I have an opportunity to release an interview this week that is
Speaker: fascinating and really wanted to share that but I felt like my attention was still lingering in this experience and my attention is really being pulled into this present moment and that is such an important
Speaker: thing for me personally to notice and to respond to. So instead of doing a full guest interview this week, I'm just going to record a little minisode. I'm just going to touch base and say thank you for being there this week. And just wanted to share that, you know, when you're moving through something that requires you're tending to
Speaker: just giving yourself as much space and permission to be present with it is going to feel a lot better than trying to force and push. And in the past, I think I would have gone to an autopilot
Speaker: place where I felt like there was this pressure. Again, this is really my own perceived pressure. This is not anyone in particular, anything in particular. It's just that I have that old programming that says if you aren't doing XYZ or checking this box,
Speaker: you won't be productive and your worth is attached to your productivity and that is how you are receiving love and even feeling like you want to be seen in a certain way of having it all together or being with it, I guess. That's something that I am letting go of and shedding
Speaker: in my own identity where I'm moving into the presence, the present moment more and more. And that has been a process. That's been such a process. There is this part of me that gets a little panicky when I feel like I'm potentially letting someone down again. Perhaps people pleasing comes into play here. And so even with this podcast, which
Speaker: My intention at the beginning was that this was going to be fluid and that this was going to not be something that I used as a self -abuse tool, that I'm not going to use this in a way that is saying, you know, if you don't do it in this way, it's bad or you are good enough, right? Like I get into that space where I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself
Speaker: And now is just not the, I mean, never is the time for that, but especially right now, although everything has gone so well, I, you know, I'm dancing with my normal everyday life in a different way using different muscles. I'm.
Speaker: actually really enjoying the process of going slow with Anthony who is slower and getting around and he's kind of soaking that in. And that's a shift. That's a shift from perhaps who I used to be or how I used to be.
Speaker: So this week, I wanted to connect and to let you know that that was one thing that was coming up for me personally. And here's the thing, this is kind of the lesson, I guess, or the moral that I feel like is applicable here. And maybe this is something that is helpful for you too, is looking at doubling down on presence.
Speaker: and not pushing away uncomfortable sensations in the moment, allowing my energy to be focused on
Speaker: not just action, but in observing what's happening in the moment and how when I'm able to let go of that inner critic or that voice that's saying like, push more, do more, it's so freeing to be able to move into that place of alignment and presence. And it's like this, it's like the presence naturally moves you into alignment.
Speaker: And everything that your mind is trying to anticipate or create or figure out is going to unfold for you and that trust that I will be supported in this process in the exact best way at exactly the right time.
Speaker: has been very liberating. And I've tried that on here and there, but I really feel like I'm embodying it right now. So right now it's all about tending to my own vibration, my own nervous system, for example, being in a hospital setting.
Speaker: Like they said, there, anybody who's ever been in a hospital knows that you don't go to a hospital to get rest. So it was very busy, in and out, constant activity. We had a hotel room down the street. So my husband was posted in the room once we got through the actual procedure and he was admitted, you know, he was kind of staying there overnight. Thankfully, he allowed me that space to be able to get some deep sleep and rest in a hotel.
Speaker: And so I was kind of the one going out, getting the food, coming back, checking in, you know, running throughout this massive hospital system to see about medication or other things. And all that busyness, all that was going on there, it was like, whoa, like that definitely
Speaker: just kind of gave me distractions, right? It gave me distractions in the moment to kind of ease my mental anxiety or tension. But all of that was just a lot. And I really needed the time to kind of come down from that and just tend to my own vibration, just tend to my own nervous system. And
Speaker: I've just spent a lot of my life maybe more than I'd like to admit just retracting from the present moment and that it just feels too overwhelming or too uneasy of a feeling like there's like this impatience or this inadequacy that I need to be doing.
Speaker: for improvement or achievement or things like that. So for my astrology friends, going to be obvious to you, if you were to look at my birth chart, I'm a Midheaven Aries. I have South Northern Aries, very comfortable kind of being that head first, let's go get it done kind of energy.
Speaker: But ironically, or not so much ironically in this life, I've talked about back, if you haven't listened to the episode with Renata back, it was episode one, where we talk about North node placement.
Speaker: North node is what I'm leaning into. And in this life that for me is in Libra, it's in the fourth house. It's about healing and nourishment of home harmony first, and then passion, right? So that's like opposite. And when I am not holding healing presence,
Speaker: for myself and others, which is actually one of my biggest gifts. And I push like in the Aries more energy. I throw everything kind of out of alignment for myself and others. So that was interesting to observe within myself and what was coming up this week. And just really mastery I'm working on is just relating to
Speaker: healing and leaning into that present moment. So not a full episode this week, just more of a touch base, sharing a few thoughts of what I've been moving through. And I would love to hear what's been coming up for you. Has this Aries season been intense for you as well? Have you felt that overlap of like,
Speaker: Firestarter energy wanting to get things going. Have you had some things that maybe exploded and haven't gone so well? I would love to hear about that. And yeah, we'll pick back up next week and we'll just go into this fluid flowing place. Thank you for being here and listening in.
