Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Beyond Adversity: Julian Godfrey on the Transformative Power of Emotional Wellness
157 Plays1 year ago
In this episode of Bigger Talks, Eric engages in an enlightening conversation with Julian Godfrey, exploring the transformational power of emotional wellness. From the hills of Runyon Canyon in Los Angeles to the depths of personal struggle, this episode unravels the strength that comes from vulnerability and the power of diversity in shaping our lives.
Julian dives into the difficult experience of losing his father and a close friend, which led him into therapy and onto his path of recovery. Emphasizing the importance of unpacking emotional baggage as one would maintain a vehicle, Julian shares therapy's pivotal role in his healing.
Also in this episode:
- Therapy plays a critical role in addressing mental health issues by allowing individuals to unpack years of emotional baggage.
- One’s upbringing and family dynamics significantly influence perceptions and attitudes towards love, emotional expression, and self-care.
- Structure, routine, and making healthy decisions in daily life can be powerful tools in overcoming mental health challenges like anxiety and claustrophobia.
- Embrace vulnerability and take the risk of seeking help if you are struggling mentally; it's the first step towards healing and growth.
About Julian Godfrey:
Julian Godfrey is an author, media and entertainment accountant, and mental health advocate. He is passionate about spreading the message of faith and mental health awareness to the world. Fighting for Peace is an inspirational memoir that follows his healing journey to wholeness. Julian lives in Los Angeles and continues to impact his community in the wellness and well-being space.
Learn more about Julian's book: www.juliangodfrey.com
Follow Julian on IG: @juliankgodfrey
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Bigger Talks Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger, a podcast dedicated to delving into unexpected conversations with a diverse range of guests.
00:00:13
Speaker
I'm your host, Eric Bigger, and I'm joining you each week to create an authentic space of dialogue about the subcultures of American life.
00:00:20
Speaker
Through engaging discussions with writers, actors, experts, and influencers, we will explore the strength of diversity and the transformational power of vulnerability.
00:00:32
Speaker
So let's dive in and discover the unexpected together on Bigger Talks.
00:00:40
Speaker
Bigger Talks, Bigger Talks.
00:00:42
Speaker
Back again, another episode.
Julian Godfrey's Journey and Book 'Fighting for Peace'
00:00:44
Speaker
I want to welcome a special guest, Julian Godfrey.
00:00:48
Speaker
He's an author, media entertainment accountant, and mental health advocate.
00:00:54
Speaker
He has a book out called Fighting for Peace.
00:00:58
Speaker
So we've all been to that today.
00:01:00
Speaker
Julian, welcome to the Bigger Talks podcast.
00:01:03
Speaker
How are you?
00:01:04
Speaker
How are you feeling?
00:01:05
Speaker
What's going on?
00:01:06
Speaker
Thank you.
00:01:07
Speaker
I'm feeling great.
00:01:07
Speaker
I'm excited to be here.
00:01:09
Speaker
It's a great day, so I'm looking forward to it.
00:01:11
Speaker
You know, I want to preface just a little bit.
00:01:13
Speaker
People don't know, I saw Joe Ennis Warren at running.
00:01:17
Speaker
And I was thinking, yeah, asking spirit, like, man, I want to get a guest on this week.
00:01:22
Speaker
Who should it be?
00:01:22
Speaker
Who would it be?
00:01:24
Speaker
A lot of people, a few people canceled and they couldn't, it was available.
00:01:27
Speaker
I said, it's okay.
00:01:28
Speaker
And then I saw him at Runyon this morning and we connected, we talked.
00:01:32
Speaker
And I want to give you your flowers because when I first met you in 2017, I was fresh off the Bachelorette.
00:01:38
Speaker
And I think he was working at a local church in LA in a ministry department.
00:01:43
Speaker
And you were just a genuine person.
00:01:45
Speaker
That's one thing I will say, you're a genuine soul.
00:01:48
Speaker
You always had good energy.
00:01:49
Speaker
You always show love.
00:01:51
Speaker
And here we are.
00:01:52
Speaker
Life comes back around and
00:01:54
Speaker
We're here and he donated and gave a book to me probably like maybe a year and a half ago about fighting for peace and mental health.
00:02:02
Speaker
I'm in a mental health space as well.
00:02:04
Speaker
But before we get into like, can you give the people like,
From Dallas to Los Angeles: Media and Ministry
00:02:08
Speaker
who is Julia?
00:02:08
Speaker
Like, who is JG?
00:02:09
Speaker
I'm gonna call you JG.
00:02:11
Speaker
Like, who is Julia?
00:02:12
Speaker
Where are you from?
00:02:12
Speaker
And like, how did you become who you are today?
00:02:16
Speaker
Yeah, I'm originally from Dallas.
00:02:17
Speaker
I'm out to Dallas.
00:02:18
Speaker
I've been in LA for 13 years now.
00:02:20
Speaker
So this is home.
00:02:21
Speaker
Likewise, me too.
00:02:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:22
Speaker
Wow, this is home.
00:02:24
Speaker
So I moved here in 2011.
00:02:26
Speaker
I've been working in the media entertainment space since I've been here.
00:02:29
Speaker
I worked in post-production.
00:02:31
Speaker
I've done YouTube influencers.
00:02:33
Speaker
Right now, I'm working with an advertising agency and a sports agency.
00:02:37
Speaker
So I'm really enjoying that.
00:02:38
Speaker
It's a lot of fun.
00:02:39
Speaker
I'm a mental health advocate.
00:02:41
Speaker
I used to lead a youth ministry in L.A.
00:02:43
Speaker
for about four years.
00:02:44
Speaker
And that's how we met back in 2017.
00:02:47
Speaker
That was a good period.
00:02:48
Speaker
And I have a new book out.
00:02:49
Speaker
It's called Finding for Peace.
Exploring Mental Health and Faith in 'Fighting for Peace'
00:02:50
Speaker
It came out in 2022.
00:02:51
Speaker
It's a story of my mental health awareness journey.
00:02:54
Speaker
It's a story of me navigating through life with severe mental health challenges and the importance of my faith in God.
00:03:00
Speaker
Being in therapy for years and how both of those things working together allowed me to move forward.
00:03:05
Speaker
Also, staying in community, letting go of bad habits, setting boundaries, learning to say no, and all those things working together.
00:03:11
Speaker
So I'm excited to share it.
00:03:12
Speaker
Yeah, I love that.
00:03:13
Speaker
You know, right before we got on, my spirit was like, just open his book to a page and
00:03:19
Speaker
And that's where you guys will start.
00:03:20
Speaker
So I opened the book, page 60.
00:03:23
Speaker
You talked about therapy just now.
00:03:25
Speaker
And it's a quote that resonated that stood out to me.
00:03:28
Speaker
It says, I think Bishop Noel Jones said it.
00:03:30
Speaker
God works in two ways, prevention and intervention.
00:03:34
Speaker
If God does not prevent something from happening in your life, he will always intervene in the midst of it in order to bring you out of those situations.
00:03:43
Speaker
Can you unpack that?
00:03:44
Speaker
What does that mean to you?
00:03:45
Speaker
You wrote this, but what does that mean to you?
00:03:48
Speaker
It means exactly what it says.
00:03:49
Speaker
God works in two ways, prevention and intervention.
00:03:52
Speaker
There are some things that God has prevented us from happening in our lives, and we just thank God for that.
00:03:57
Speaker
And there are some things that we've experienced because sometimes life lives, the vibes are not vibing.
00:04:04
Speaker
Sometimes it's our own decisions.
00:04:06
Speaker
Sometimes it's just predicaments.
00:04:07
Speaker
We are around situations.
00:04:09
Speaker
But wherever you are, God will always intervene in the midst of.
00:04:13
Speaker
And that's what my story
Overcoming Anxiety and Depression with Community Support
00:04:14
Speaker
really is about.
00:04:14
Speaker
It's a story that God kind of reached in and just grabbed me out at the right time.
00:04:19
Speaker
Because there's so many people, and we'll talk about it, that have dealt with anxiety and depression and all the different mental health issues that I was dealing with.
00:04:26
Speaker
And so many people that have struggled with them for years and they don't know how to get out of it.
00:04:31
Speaker
They don't see a way of escape.
00:04:33
Speaker
There's no hope for them and nothing wrong with medication and all these different things.
00:04:37
Speaker
But for me, that wasn't my story.
00:04:39
Speaker
And it was a story of God's intervention really coming and statching me out and being able to share.
00:04:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:45
Speaker
And it's so beautiful because I always tell people we can't live in a divided mind, right?
00:04:50
Speaker
You can't look at one place both times, right?
00:04:53
Speaker
So I think what happens is the ego mind likes to take over.
00:04:56
Speaker
And the God mind is suppressed because the God mind might not have enough logic for you to do it.
00:05:01
Speaker
Right.
00:05:01
Speaker
Or it might not be comfortable.
00:05:03
Speaker
But can you speak on your experiences in therapy and how that has helped you give more wholeness within with higher power, with God, with your spirit, for you to be an alignment of your soul's assignment to be who you are today, to continue to push this fighting for peace message for the world?
00:05:19
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:05:20
Speaker
And I'll preface it by saying I've always been like a super private person.
00:05:24
Speaker
Like that's just how I am by nature.
00:05:25
Speaker
But when I had experienced everything I experienced, I knew I had to share it with somebody.
00:05:29
Speaker
I knew I had to tell somebody.
00:05:31
Speaker
And that's what therapy allowed me to do.
00:05:33
Speaker
And I write about it in my book.
00:05:34
Speaker
It's similar to...
00:05:36
Speaker
How we have a car, we put air in our tires.
00:05:39
Speaker
We wash our car every Saturday.
00:05:41
Speaker
We gas up the car.
00:05:42
Speaker
Gas is now $7.
00:05:43
Speaker
We do what we can, right?
00:05:45
Speaker
We have to get our oil changed every 10,000 miles.
00:05:47
Speaker
And then we have our trunk in the back of our car that we stuck things in the trunk and we close it.
00:05:51
Speaker
And then we repeat the cycle and then we open the trunk and we stuck things and we close it.
00:05:55
Speaker
Never unpack all the junk, all the baggage that has just been stacking itself on top of each other in our trunk.
00:06:03
Speaker
One day the trunk is going to explode because
Family Influence on Emotional Life
00:06:05
Speaker
there's no room for that because no one sees the trunk.
00:06:07
Speaker
And that's what therapy taught me, how to unpack the junk in my trunk, how to unpack all the baggage and the 30 plus years of experiences in life that I never talked to anybody about.
00:06:17
Speaker
And so my story starts out as a story of grieving because I lost my father.
00:06:21
Speaker
Back in 2018 and one of my closest friends within a two-week period.
00:06:25
Speaker
And it sent me on this downward spiral.
00:06:27
Speaker
But in therapy, I realized two plus years of therapy during that season, I talked about those two losses for maybe 15 minutes total.
00:06:34
Speaker
What we talked about more than anything was all the other issues and all the other experiences that I never shared with anybody.
00:06:40
Speaker
So I was unpacking my life.
00:06:42
Speaker
I was unpacking my baggage.
00:06:43
Speaker
I was unpacking my drama.
00:06:45
Speaker
And so to answer your question, that's why therapy is so important.
00:06:49
Speaker
Some people think that they don't need therapy.
00:06:50
Speaker
They think that they're too good for it.
00:06:52
Speaker
Or I grew up in Texas where it was kind of shunned upon.
00:06:55
Speaker
Or in the Black community back in those days, you know, nobody went to therapy.
00:06:59
Speaker
But therapy was life-changing and it changed my life and it set me on this path.
00:07:03
Speaker
And it kick-started this healing journey.
00:07:04
Speaker
So shout out to therapy, but I'm a huge advocate for therapy.
00:07:08
Speaker
Yeah, and I think sometimes in life we have these anchors that are usually not positive, but they can be positive when we step outside of them, like loss, devastation, losing the love on your dad and a close friend.
00:07:21
Speaker
What did that do to your spirit and your mind at that moment that you feel like there's no more reason to live, that you didn't know what to do, or you stuck, or you just distraught?
00:07:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:31
Speaker
What was that emotion like and that experience like when you lost your dad in a close friend?
00:07:35
Speaker
What was that like for you to say pivoted, I got to figure this out?
00:07:39
Speaker
To answer that, honestly, there was no emotion because I was known.
00:07:44
Speaker
I couldn't feel anything.
00:07:45
Speaker
There's nothing worse than knowing that you have so much going on in your life and everybody coming to you to console you and everyone checking on you, but you have no feeling.
00:07:53
Speaker
You will be similar to someone who lost nerve damage.
00:07:55
Speaker
You know that you have fingers, you know you have toes, but you don't feel it.
00:08:00
Speaker
And that's where I was.
00:08:01
Speaker
And that's when I knew I needed help because I couldn't feel anything, which is worse than feeling very bad and very down.
00:08:06
Speaker
And of course, I had some very rough days, but I wanted to be able to feel again.
00:08:10
Speaker
I wanted to be able to have these conversations.
00:08:12
Speaker
I wanted to be able to vibe out new life again.
00:08:15
Speaker
I was so crushed.
00:08:15
Speaker
I was so hurt.
00:08:16
Speaker
I was in so much pain.
00:08:17
Speaker
So the grieving process was very difficult, but it did open my eyes that I needed help.
00:08:22
Speaker
And it caused me to be open and vulnerable enough to seek the help that I got.
00:08:26
Speaker
Yeah, that's amazing.
00:08:27
Speaker
Were you close with your dad?
00:08:28
Speaker
I was.
00:08:29
Speaker
I'm much closer to my mom.
00:08:30
Speaker
My parents were married for 44 years.
00:08:32
Speaker
44?
00:08:33
Speaker
44, brother.
00:08:34
Speaker
Put out through Texas, way down in South Texas.
00:08:37
Speaker
But I was very close with my dad, of course.
00:08:40
Speaker
But distance, you know, distance distorts.
00:08:42
Speaker
So living in Los Angeles and my family being in Texas, only seeing them a few times a year, you know, we had lost a little bit of communication and contact for sure, but we were close.
00:08:52
Speaker
Yeah, and I think, you know, mental health is different for everybody.
Societal Norms and Emotional Understanding
00:08:57
Speaker
Growing up in Baltimore, thug it out, tough it out.
00:09:00
Speaker
You better be a man.
00:09:01
Speaker
You better not cry.
00:09:02
Speaker
And you don't know about releasing pain, releasing feelings.
00:09:06
Speaker
But we do release pain because there's so much violence in the inner city.
00:09:09
Speaker
You know, I was born.
00:09:11
Speaker
For you, what was your environment like growing up?
00:09:14
Speaker
Did you grow up in a more safe, stable environment where you didn't have to worry or think about things outside of yourself?
00:09:20
Speaker
Or was it more kind of like neutral and there were some things but not as bad?
00:09:24
Speaker
Like what was your environment like growing up?
00:09:25
Speaker
Because you seem to have like the capabilities and the capacity to understand what you went through.
00:09:31
Speaker
I think some people, like you said, when they numb themselves, they don't even know what they're doing because they're so deep in it.
00:09:37
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:09:38
Speaker
And that's a very good point.
00:09:39
Speaker
For me, I can say that I grew up in the suburbs all my life.
00:09:42
Speaker
My parents were first generation college students.
00:09:45
Speaker
So like they're from Port Arthur, Texas, a very small city in Texas that's known for poverty.
00:09:50
Speaker
It's known for a lot of people who are high school dropouts and that type of thing.
00:09:55
Speaker
But they were able to make it out of that environment.
00:09:58
Speaker
And they went to college and they did a great job of raising me and my sister and setting us up for success.
00:10:04
Speaker
But at the same time, while we lived in the suburbs and while we, you know, didn't have to really want for much because of the way my parents were raised, they were raised to be survivors.
00:10:13
Speaker
They were raised to be strong.
00:10:14
Speaker
They came up in the 70s and 80s where you have to be tough and you have to be resilient.
00:10:18
Speaker
So you don't talk about your emotions.
00:10:20
Speaker
You don't talk about how you feel.
00:10:21
Speaker
What do you mean you don't feel good?
00:10:22
Speaker
You better go to work.
00:10:23
Speaker
You better go to school.
00:10:24
Speaker
So like those types of things were not openly discussed in our household.
00:10:28
Speaker
And I think that was just not their fault, but I think it was just a circumstance of the era that we grew up in.
00:10:33
Speaker
So going to therapy and expressing yourself and, how they say, sitting on a strength couch and all that, that wasn't anything that I ever thought was possible or anything that I ever aspired to do.
00:10:44
Speaker
It just happened.
00:10:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:45
Speaker
And what you led to therapy or someone kind of told you you should reach out, like how did it all manifest in your life?
Seeking Therapy: Motivations and Barriers
00:10:50
Speaker
Because some people don't even have the resources of a person to even give them acknowledgement that the therapy is possible and available.
00:10:58
Speaker
We just talking to our friends or our close family members.
00:11:02
Speaker
And we keep it moving.
00:11:03
Speaker
We go to work, we go to school, and we deal with it.
00:11:05
Speaker
But we don't unpack it in such a professional way where we can get it out.
00:11:09
Speaker
Who led you to therapy?
00:11:11
Speaker
You know, honestly, it was just a natural course of years.
00:11:15
Speaker
It wasn't someone... I didn't have any friends that were in therapy.
00:11:19
Speaker
I didn't have any family members that were in therapy.
00:11:21
Speaker
This was pre-pandemic.
00:11:22
Speaker
So, of course, therapy is hot right now.
00:11:24
Speaker
But seven years ago, six years ago, it wasn't as popular, even though it's not that long ago.
00:11:29
Speaker
So, it was more so me knowing that I needed help.
00:11:32
Speaker
And I write about that in my book in the chapter Seeking Health, chapter four.
00:11:36
Speaker
I know I needed to seek help because I didn't have anywhere else to turn.
00:11:39
Speaker
And I wanted to live.
00:11:41
Speaker
I wasn't suicidal.
00:11:42
Speaker
I didn't want to take my life, but I was in so much pain.
00:11:44
Speaker
I didn't see a path forward with the current circumstances the way they were.
00:11:48
Speaker
And I knew I needed some intervention, like you said.
00:11:51
Speaker
And what would you say to someone right now who know they need help, but they're afraid to get help because of judgment, because of fear, and they don't know what to do?
00:12:00
Speaker
Like, what would you say if you were like in their ear or just talking to them?
00:12:05
Speaker
What would you say to them to get where they need to be, to make them feel safe that that's okay?
00:12:10
Speaker
Yeah, I would just say take your right hand and put it on your left chest.
00:12:13
Speaker
If you feel something moving, that's a heart that's beating.
00:12:16
Speaker
That means that you still have life.
00:12:18
Speaker
You still have purpose.
00:12:19
Speaker
You still have a destiny.
00:12:20
Speaker
There's still more life for you to live.
00:12:22
Speaker
You can inhale and exhale and you can feel something.
00:12:25
Speaker
And if you can feel that, that means that your life is powerful, that it's impactful, that you deserve to live, that you deserve to be in a safe environment, that you deserve to survive.
00:12:34
Speaker
You may not know where to turn.
00:12:35
Speaker
You may not know what direction to go to.
00:12:37
Speaker
But there's hope and there's help for you.
00:12:39
Speaker
So if you know that you want to live and that you want to keep going, there's resources, there's outlets, but you have to be open-minded.
00:12:45
Speaker
You have to be vulnerable.
00:12:46
Speaker
You have to be willing to take risks.
00:12:48
Speaker
You have to get out of your comfort zone, all those things, if you really want to seek help.
00:12:52
Speaker
Because a lot of people want to be better, but they don't want to do the work.
00:12:54
Speaker
Because seeking help is just the first start.
00:12:57
Speaker
It's doing the actual work.
00:12:59
Speaker
You know, I run into clients and people sometimes that they don't want help.
00:13:02
Speaker
They want attention.
00:13:03
Speaker
Facts.
00:13:03
Speaker
Sometimes people use therapy or pain or devastation or, you know, even in a environment.
00:13:10
Speaker
I didn't have this.
00:13:10
Speaker
We didn't have that.
00:13:11
Speaker
We'll use that as a pillar to feed off of to get attention.
00:13:15
Speaker
which doesn't really benefit us because we just want someone to know that we're here and that they love us.
00:13:20
Speaker
For you growing up, were your parents really loving and were you taught how to love yourself?
00:13:26
Speaker
Because I feel like
Non-verbal Expressions of Love in Families
00:13:27
Speaker
at least the black community, we don't know how to love ourselves.
00:13:30
Speaker
We just know how to do, get, and be what we think we see on TV or what we saw in the neighborhood or maybe what our dad or mom raised us to be.
00:13:38
Speaker
And I feel like we don't have the tools to
00:13:41
Speaker
given from our experiences, how to love ourselves firsthand, that is actually understand, at least not in my environment, I didn't express it.
00:13:47
Speaker
What was it like for you, bro?
00:13:49
Speaker
I grew up in a very loving family.
00:13:51
Speaker
My father, of course, didn't come to me every day and say, Julian, I love you.
00:13:55
Speaker
But a lot of times it's not verbally expressing that you love someone.
00:13:58
Speaker
It's just knowing that you go home and that you're going to have some food there waiting on you.
00:14:02
Speaker
Or that you're going to have a ride to school in the morning.
00:14:04
Speaker
It's knowing that you're going to have some breakfast ready for you before you get up and go to school.
00:14:08
Speaker
That's how you show love.
00:14:09
Speaker
And you don't realize it when you're young because you're always complaining, oh, my dad didn't do this.
00:14:13
Speaker
My mom didn't do that.
00:14:15
Speaker
But the fact that they're providing for you, the fact that they're there, the fact that they're showing up, that they're supporting you, that they're coming to every basketball game, that they're celebrating you when you make straight A's or whatever the case may be, that's an expression of love.
00:14:28
Speaker
My mom is a bit more expressive.
00:14:30
Speaker
So she would verbally say, I love you, but do the same things as well.
00:14:33
Speaker
But someone saying it doesn't mean, or not saying it doesn't mean they don't love you.
00:14:38
Speaker
It's just knowing that you have that supportive infrastructure there and that you have that safe space.
00:14:42
Speaker
And no family's perfect.
00:14:43
Speaker
Every family has its challenges, but just knowing that you have a home to go to, that's love right there.
00:14:49
Speaker
And that's the best definition I've ever heard in life about love.
00:14:53
Speaker
Never looked at it like that.
00:14:54
Speaker
Wow.
00:14:55
Speaker
You look at it from that perspective, because when you think of love, you think of emotions, but you don't think about what's already happening.
00:15:01
Speaker
You don't think about, oh, you got food in the refrigerator.
00:15:04
Speaker
You get a ride to school.
00:15:06
Speaker
Mom is there.
00:15:07
Speaker
Dad is there.
00:15:07
Speaker
You get to see them.
00:15:09
Speaker
You have clothes on.
00:15:10
Speaker
You have sneakers.
00:15:12
Speaker
And they're doing the best they can with what they have.
00:15:14
Speaker
But a lot of times we look at it like what you did say, what we didn't get from our paradigm and our intention and our desires.
00:15:22
Speaker
And it's so interesting because now I'm thinking, well, we're not getting loves because we're being ungrateful.
00:15:30
Speaker
Wow.
00:15:31
Speaker
Get what I'm saying?
00:15:32
Speaker
Because if we're a person, there's always love, right?
00:15:35
Speaker
There's always, oh, school.
00:15:37
Speaker
Oh, I have clothes.
00:15:38
Speaker
Oh, I get a ride to school or I have a job.
00:15:41
Speaker
All these little things that we find something that we don't have in corner that is not being loved.
00:15:49
Speaker
And it's not good and it's not healthy because we don't know better.
00:15:52
Speaker
But more importantly, I think, because that's why I was asking the question, because you had love, you're able to look at it from a different lens where you're not looking at it from someone who probably had the same things you had because they didn't get that little bit of that.
00:16:07
Speaker
They feel like they didn't get love.
00:16:08
Speaker
So.
00:16:09
Speaker
Yeah, like it's easy to say, oh, you didn't come to my basketball game.
00:16:13
Speaker
You didn't show up to support me for this or for that.
00:16:16
Speaker
Well, I was working two jobs.
00:16:17
Speaker
I was supporting you while I was at work.
00:16:19
Speaker
I was cheering you on at the call center.
00:16:21
Speaker
I was doing it while I was working that third security job.
00:16:23
Speaker
And you don't realize it when you're young.
00:16:26
Speaker
But the sacrifices that our parents had to make to be there for us and to support us, especially if they were not very vocal or very emotional or very open with expressing their innermost thoughts.
00:16:37
Speaker
A lot of times it was just them being there for us.
00:16:39
Speaker
That was their way of letting us know that they love us.
00:16:42
Speaker
And that's love.
00:16:43
Speaker
I mean, you actually helped me heal according to me just now because I was that guy.
00:16:47
Speaker
You didn't come out in dreams.
00:16:48
Speaker
You would tell me something, didn't do it.
00:16:51
Speaker
But what about all the other stuff?
00:16:53
Speaker
she or he did.
00:16:54
Speaker
Right.
00:16:54
Speaker
And then I would tell people in relationships, I said, when people break apart, they always focus on the worst things that happen.
00:17:01
Speaker
What about all the good things that happen?
00:17:03
Speaker
You still had a good time.
00:17:04
Speaker
It just didn't pan out in the way you wanted.
00:17:07
Speaker
It's okay.
00:17:08
Speaker
That person did the best they could.
00:17:10
Speaker
It's just interesting.
00:17:11
Speaker
And that's why it's so important to get different perspectives and feedback because perspective opens up your mind to kind of see things from a different lens.
00:17:18
Speaker
So you can actually actualize what it is you think you want in a different way, right?
00:17:23
Speaker
So I thank you for saying it.
00:17:25
Speaker
Let's get into religion and spirituality.
00:17:29
Speaker
Like how has that impacted your life?
00:17:32
Speaker
Growing up and as you've gotten older, and how has that taken you to a next level of who you are today?
00:17:39
Speaker
Yeah, my faith in God is a very important factor and cornerstone in my life.
00:17:45
Speaker
My mom is Catholic, so I grew up going to Catholic mass every Sunday.
00:17:49
Speaker
That was our upbringing.
00:17:50
Speaker
And my mom taught us the importance of always being in church, always honoring and serving God, and always putting God first.
00:17:59
Speaker
And so I really believe that that infrastructure has followed me throughout my adult, my life.
00:18:06
Speaker
And so as I got older and as I started to connect with God personally and build my own relationship with him, and I started to see that he, you know, he had more for me than what I was experiencing currently.
00:18:16
Speaker
And I really started to tap into that.
00:18:18
Speaker
It really shaped my life.
00:18:19
Speaker
It shaped a lot of my decisions that I made.
00:18:22
Speaker
It determined a lot of the things that I did and didn't do.
00:18:25
Speaker
I just wanted to make sure that I was pleasing God and that I was doing the best that I could.
00:18:29
Speaker
And it's important because as we get older and as things change, as life changes, I feel like we all got to have some type of spiritual currency, I would say.
00:18:39
Speaker
Some type of God force in our life, a higher power, the creator, whatever one believes in.
00:18:46
Speaker
If we just think we're creating everything from just ourselves and the world wouldn't be what it is, right?
00:18:54
Speaker
I wouldn't be able to run it to you today.
00:18:56
Speaker
I was just thinking the same thing.
00:18:57
Speaker
If you think that that just happened by circumstances.
00:18:59
Speaker
I prayed.
00:19:00
Speaker
I prayed.
00:19:00
Speaker
I told you that in running.
00:19:01
Speaker
I prayed this morning for the Spirit of God to open up a portal of love just to have a great time going to running, right?
00:19:08
Speaker
That was just my intention.
00:19:10
Speaker
And then boom, I saw you.
00:19:11
Speaker
I was like...
00:19:12
Speaker
podcast this Friday.
00:19:14
Speaker
If he's available, boom.
00:19:15
Speaker
Then I was telling him, he wasn't.
00:19:17
Speaker
It's okay.
00:19:18
Speaker
Here we are.
00:19:19
Speaker
All that is God's energy.
00:19:22
Speaker
It's purposeful.
00:19:23
Speaker
It's alignment.
00:19:24
Speaker
What's the chances of you coming down and I'm going in and we meet, we talk for five minutes and boom, here we are today.
00:19:30
Speaker
That's why I think, thank God for your mom having that back
00:19:34
Speaker
ground in Catholic church and the infrastructure and the consistency always been in the church.
00:19:41
Speaker
Even if you're not believing in it, she's saying it.
00:19:43
Speaker
And they always say faith comes from hearing, right?
00:19:47
Speaker
Real showings.
00:19:48
Speaker
The more you hear it, eventually you have to believe.
00:19:50
Speaker
It's like a song.
00:19:51
Speaker
You start saying the lyrics that don't even know
00:19:53
Speaker
what they're saying, I think, you know, it's such a beautiful way for people to know that God is everywhere.
00:19:59
Speaker
God is everything.
00:20:00
Speaker
And it's God in you, God around you, God for you.
00:20:03
Speaker
You just got to find out what God are you serving, right?
00:20:06
Speaker
And I think, you know, the way the system is set up, in my eyes, social media, mass media, it's to put fear in us, to take us away from God.
00:20:17
Speaker
Right.
00:20:17
Speaker
Because the make us only believe in what we can see, the 3D, but all the powers in the unseen, you know?
00:20:24
Speaker
And so, because when you speak, I feel like you're a prophet.
00:20:27
Speaker
I feel like you're a therapist.
00:20:29
Speaker
And I feel like you're someone who, it makes sense why you're in youth ministries, who gets it without trying to get it.
00:20:37
Speaker
If that makes sense.
00:20:38
Speaker
And when you started writing your book, fighting for peace, you
00:20:43
Speaker
What was the peace you wanted to fight for?
00:20:46
Speaker
Give us your context, because I don't like to say, this is what peace means to me.
00:20:50
Speaker
I want to know what does peace mean for you and what peace are you and what are you fighting for?
00:20:56
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:20:57
Speaker
So fighting for peace is really like a play on words, because when I started going to therapy and when I started really kickstarting that healing journey, I realized that I had to make a lot of decisions that I really wanted to change.
00:21:08
Speaker
And so I had to let go of a lot of unhealthy habits.
00:21:12
Speaker
I had to be open minded to new opportunities.
00:21:15
Speaker
I had to be open to new experiences.
00:21:17
Speaker
I had to be open to new connections and new friendships and to get myself out of my comfort zone.
00:21:23
Speaker
Michelle Obama said something that's so powerful.
00:21:25
Speaker
She said that growth comes with difference.
00:21:28
Speaker
Most comes when you put yourself in situations and circumstances with people who don't look like you, with people who don't think the same, who don't behave the same, who don't operate the same.
00:21:38
Speaker
And it may be uncomfortable at first, but you'll realize that the more you surround yourself with different types of people, they'll show you a side of the world that you didn't even know existed.
00:21:48
Speaker
And you will realize that you've grown and that you expanded and you've enlarged your mind.
00:21:52
Speaker
And you've seen other things that are possible because you didn't surround yourself with sameness.
00:21:58
Speaker
And that was what I had to do to grow.
00:22:00
Speaker
I had to do something different because I didn't want to see the same thing I had been experiencing for that period of time.
00:22:06
Speaker
So fighting for peace is really playing on words because I started boxing.
00:22:10
Speaker
I grew up playing basketball all my life.
00:22:12
Speaker
I took up boxing and boxing, in addition to therapy, in addition to my community, in addition to my relationship with God and all these things working together, saved my life.
00:22:20
Speaker
And so that's what I was really fighting for.
00:22:22
Speaker
It was fighting for a new life, mighty opportunity, fighting for my mental clarity, fighting to feel again, because I told you I was numb for so long.
00:22:31
Speaker
Fighting to have that feeling again and to feel like myself.
00:22:34
Speaker
I was really fighting to be myself.
00:22:36
Speaker
And in the course of fighting to get like myself, my eyes were open to this whole world of possibility that I didn't know existed because I just wanted to be normal.
00:22:44
Speaker
All I wanted to do was be normal again because I was in so much pain.
00:22:48
Speaker
But in my search, in my fight for normalcy, I realized that there was a world out there that I hadn't experienced.
00:22:55
Speaker
I think he just opened up, cracked the life code.
00:22:58
Speaker
He opened up a problem of the church.
00:23:00
Speaker
Think about it.
00:23:01
Speaker
People who experience depression and anxiety the most are in spurs.
00:23:07
Speaker
It's all because they're fighting to be themselves.
00:23:10
Speaker
Because I feel like if we're not ourselves,
00:23:14
Speaker
We get into a different space because it's not ourselves.
00:23:17
Speaker
Right.
00:23:18
Speaker
And you want to get back to center.
00:23:20
Speaker
But sometimes we're so afraid to get to center because of judgment.
00:23:24
Speaker
Right.
00:23:25
Speaker
Me knowing people who experience, you know, with this suicide ideation.
00:23:30
Speaker
I know people who I was in contact with where I'm like, they didn't want nobody to know.
00:23:35
Speaker
And I'm like, what am I supposed to do?
00:23:37
Speaker
Right?
00:23:38
Speaker
And I'm just like, well, why?
00:23:40
Speaker
And it's all because of judgment and fear of what it's going to look like and how you're going to be a burden to someone else.
00:23:45
Speaker
But all you're doing is fighting to be yourself.
00:23:48
Speaker
And your natural self is going through an experience that's uncomfortable because most people don't talk about it.
00:23:53
Speaker
So you don't want to talk about it because you think it's going to look at you.
00:23:56
Speaker
It's all about judgment.
00:23:58
Speaker
And I think if people can get back to knowing the intention behind it, that you're just fighting to be yourself.
Roots of Depression and Anxiety: Community and Spirituality
00:24:05
Speaker
That's it.
00:24:06
Speaker
I feel like there's so many layers of depression and anxiety.
00:24:08
Speaker
Like you spoke on medication.
00:24:10
Speaker
I don't know if you spoke on like chemical imbalances, but we just get to the root of like, who are we in this moment?
00:24:16
Speaker
What are you feeling in your body?
00:24:18
Speaker
What is your mind saying to you?
00:24:20
Speaker
Where do you think it's coming from?
00:24:21
Speaker
What would you like in this moment to happen?
00:24:24
Speaker
Right.
00:24:25
Speaker
And I think sometimes it's so easy to gravitate to the other side.
00:24:31
Speaker
Right.
00:24:32
Speaker
Is thought we shouldn't manifest.
00:24:34
Speaker
Right.
00:24:35
Speaker
And that's why I think the God consciousness of the God mind and spirit is needed in life.
00:24:40
Speaker
Because what I believe is that you're fighting with so many different entities out here.
00:24:46
Speaker
Sometimes your thoughts are not your thoughts.
00:24:47
Speaker
They could be your spouse thoughts.
00:24:49
Speaker
It could be your co-workers thoughts, your friend.
00:24:51
Speaker
And you might be so empathic that you're picking up on their frequency.
00:24:54
Speaker
Now you speaking and thinking like them and you don't even know.
00:24:58
Speaker
And now you're in a depressed state.
00:25:00
Speaker
So what do you think is the root cause of depression and anxiety from your experiences?
00:25:06
Speaker
And what do you think is the quickest way for people to not only fight for themselves, but to get out of that space?
00:25:13
Speaker
These are great questions.
00:25:14
Speaker
Wow.
00:25:15
Speaker
You're a basketball player as well.
00:25:17
Speaker
When you miss a three-pointer, the crowd, they don't really say too much because, you know, it's a three, you may shoot 40%.
00:25:23
Speaker
If you miss a half-court buzzer beater, they'll say, ooh, because at least you went for it.
00:25:29
Speaker
If you miss a layup and you're 6'8",
00:25:32
Speaker
They're going to start saying all kinds of crazy stuff.
00:25:34
Speaker
Yo, dunk the ball because you're too close to miss it.
00:25:37
Speaker
You're too close to not make that.
00:25:40
Speaker
And so to go on to something you just said, sometimes we have to be careful how close we get to certain people.
00:25:46
Speaker
Get close to somebody like Eric, who is an influencer, who's a mental health advocate and who's in the wellness and well-being space, who's killing it and who's doing a great thing.
00:25:55
Speaker
If you get too close to somebody like you, you're going to find yourself doing a lot of the things you're doing.
00:26:00
Speaker
You'll get some help.
00:26:01
Speaker
You'll have some influence.
00:26:03
Speaker
You're impoverished.
00:26:03
Speaker
You'll be a leader.
00:26:04
Speaker
But if you surround yourself with people who are lazy, who don't want anything out of life, bad habits, people who are just talking about people all day, if you get too close to that, you're going to start getting that in you as well.
00:26:17
Speaker
Because what's on you is going to eventually get on me, whether it's positive or negative.
00:26:21
Speaker
That's why you got to be careful who you get close to.
00:26:23
Speaker
And that's why I'm very intentional on being close to the right people.
00:26:27
Speaker
Alignment is important.
00:26:29
Speaker
It's important how close you get.
00:26:31
Speaker
And when you get close to the right people, you're too close not to catch on to success if somebody next to you is doing something powerful.
00:26:38
Speaker
So to go back on what you just said,
00:26:40
Speaker
Where do these thoughts come from?
00:26:42
Speaker
It comes from the content we consume, potentially.
00:26:44
Speaker
It could come from the nutrition, the food that we eat, the things we put in our bodies.
00:26:48
Speaker
It could come from a lack of physical movement, not being inactive.
00:26:53
Speaker
What I've really determined and why you see me hiking is because physical activity stimulates the brain.
00:26:58
Speaker
It stimulates the body, but it opens your mind.
00:27:00
Speaker
It opens your heart.
00:27:02
Speaker
Moving your body has so many other positive impacting things in your life outside of just physical fitness.
00:27:08
Speaker
Sorry, what was the question?
00:27:09
Speaker
I got off on a tangent.
00:27:11
Speaker
Good.
00:27:11
Speaker
That was great.
00:27:11
Speaker
So basically, I was just saying like, I mean, you said most of it, like to move your body, fool your eating, the things you listen to, be aware, be careful when you get close to.
00:27:21
Speaker
I would say like maybe you answered that too.
00:27:23
Speaker
How did you get out of that state of depression and anxiety?
00:27:25
Speaker
But I think you just hit it on the nose.
00:27:27
Speaker
The big word is osmosis.
00:27:29
Speaker
Your environment, that's where did you grow up at and how did you grow up?
00:27:32
Speaker
Was mom and dad in the house?
00:27:33
Speaker
Did you get love?
00:27:34
Speaker
Because our experiences were different.
00:27:36
Speaker
Does it make that we can't have the same experience?
00:27:38
Speaker
We might have looked at them different, right?
00:27:40
Speaker
And now, because I like to unpack the people I'm interviewing so the audience can get a real perspective of where the paradigm you're speaking from.
00:27:50
Speaker
But I think most times people look at life from a lens of what the world is saying.
00:27:55
Speaker
Like the world has been pushing a narrative and been pushing the word depression and mental health.
00:28:02
Speaker
And what I don't really like a lot about what's going on is that there's people out there saying they are depressed when they're really not.
00:28:11
Speaker
Because there's people who are really suffering from depression, like really suffering.
00:28:17
Speaker
And it's a big difference.
00:28:18
Speaker
Like, yeah, you can have a down day.
00:28:20
Speaker
You can be sad.
00:28:22
Speaker
Yeah, you might be depressed, but there's people who will have medication.
00:28:25
Speaker
Like, you know, I have a client.
00:28:28
Speaker
She told me when she's 12, she was on Xanax.
00:28:31
Speaker
Like, they put on depression.
00:28:33
Speaker
So she was 12.
00:28:34
Speaker
She's 41 right now.
00:28:36
Speaker
What am I supposed to tell her when she... You get what I'm saying?
00:28:39
Speaker
So...
00:28:40
Speaker
She's not a bad person, but what is she supposed to do?
00:28:43
Speaker
She's getting medication at the age of 12 and now she's a grown woman.
00:28:45
Speaker
She's an adult.
00:28:47
Speaker
So I'm learning that everybody experiences different.
00:28:50
Speaker
With some people, it is chemical.
00:28:53
Speaker
It could be hereditary, but I do believe in the power of God and the power of spirit.
00:28:57
Speaker
That we can get rid of a lot of things if we just really believe and manifest the word in our soul each and every day and get around good people.
00:29:06
Speaker
I just think the word depression and anxiety has been so loosely misused in a way where the more you say something, the more you become it, right?
00:29:18
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:29:18
Speaker
And we have to be careful of this labeling.
00:29:21
Speaker
Labels are for packages, not for people.
00:29:23
Speaker
If we start just identifying based on whatever label is popular at the moment, we're going to start to wear that label.
00:29:30
Speaker
Over the course of time, if we weren't depressed, if we were just having a bad day because my favorite coffee shop ran out of oatmeal, now I'm depressed.
00:29:38
Speaker
They don't have any vanilla syrup today.
00:29:40
Speaker
But I keep saying that, eventually that's going to start to really manifest itself in my life.
00:29:44
Speaker
Now, I can say, again, I don't put labels on anything, but I was depressed.
00:29:47
Speaker
I have full-blown anxiety.
00:29:49
Speaker
But, and I had a lot of other things that I talk about.
00:29:52
Speaker
OCD.
00:29:53
Speaker
Really?
00:29:54
Speaker
Eating disorder, which was very challenging.
00:29:56
Speaker
Coptic bobbia, et cetera.
00:29:58
Speaker
Man, let's talk about that.
00:29:59
Speaker
Let's get into the details there because I have a close family member.
00:30:02
Speaker
He doesn't like airplanes.
00:30:04
Speaker
He's afraid of getting elevators.
00:30:07
Speaker
Highly successful, driven person, which you will never know.
00:30:10
Speaker
Wanted to get in big crowds, super anxious.
00:30:13
Speaker
Let's talk about that for you.
00:30:14
Speaker
What was that like?
00:30:15
Speaker
Where do you think it came from?
00:30:16
Speaker
Where you think it was just part of who you are and you're just embracing it now more?
00:30:21
Speaker
Where did it come from?
00:30:22
Speaker
Where did it stem from, from your point of view?
00:30:25
Speaker
I will say I don't struggle with any of those or I'm not saying that arrogantly at all, but because of the work that I had to do.
00:30:33
Speaker
And again, going back to what you said earlier, the intervention of God.
00:30:36
Speaker
And I can't not talk about that enough for my story.
00:30:39
Speaker
And this is my story.
00:30:40
Speaker
But I have to say that if it hadn't been for God's hand on my life, I don't know where I would have ended up.
00:30:45
Speaker
But yes, for a period, I was really struggling with claustrophobia to the point where I would take a routine flight from L.A.
00:30:52
Speaker
to Dallas three or four times a year and be totally fine.
00:30:55
Speaker
But there was a flight that I took where I had the worst panic attack ever, which is, you know, much stronger than an anxiety attack.
00:31:01
Speaker
And I thought my life was over.
00:31:03
Speaker
I just knew that was the last two and a half hours of my life because I was in such close proximity with other people on a plane, a routine flight.
00:31:12
Speaker
But that's what happens when anxiety and all these different mental health issues are combining themselves, working together.
00:31:19
Speaker
It's like somebody who has a cold.
00:31:21
Speaker
You got the flu.
00:31:23
Speaker
You have this, you got that.
00:31:24
Speaker
You got laryngitis.
00:31:26
Speaker
You have all these different things, right, that are working together at one time.
00:31:30
Speaker
And it has you in a chokehold.
00:31:32
Speaker
And that was my story.
00:31:33
Speaker
So yes, the claustrophobia was very difficult for me to deal with.
00:31:37
Speaker
But when I started going to therapy, and it wasn't an instantaneous experience whatsoever, when I started doing the work, and when I kickstarted my healing journey, I kept showing up.
00:31:47
Speaker
It wasn't perfect, but I kept showing up.
00:31:49
Speaker
Over the course of time, it started to get a little bit better.
00:31:53
Speaker
I started to get a little bit comfortable being six feet from someone.
00:31:56
Speaker
This was pre-COVID, so there was no six feet of distance, but I started to get a little bit more comfortable.
00:32:01
Speaker
And now I'm totally fine.
00:32:02
Speaker
I could be in tight spaces, open spaces, regardless, but I was really struggling with that.
00:32:08
Speaker
But it just took time.
00:32:10
Speaker
I don't think I'll be saying that time heals all wounds because it's not all the way true, but time and work and intentionality is
00:32:18
Speaker
and discipline and, you know, being structured and having that mentality that I don't care what happens, I'm going to go after this.
00:32:26
Speaker
I'm going to be able to survive in an elevator and not die.
00:32:30
Speaker
I'm going to be on an airplane and sit on a road with two other people and make it to my destination.
00:32:35
Speaker
It sounds small, but those little things kickstart your life.
00:32:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:39
Speaker
And what is some of the work or tools you were using in the process to get to where you are today that you could share with the audience and the people listening who watch this?
Practical Tools for Well-being
00:32:47
Speaker
What is some tool that's tangible, that's practical, that they probably can use?
00:32:51
Speaker
I don't know if like breathwork or whatever works for you.
00:32:54
Speaker
I would love to hear that.
00:32:56
Speaker
Yeah, there's so many things out there.
00:32:57
Speaker
I don't do any of these things, but there's like a lot of people doing sound baths.
00:33:00
Speaker
You're doing Reiki.
00:33:01
Speaker
There's a lot of mindfulness work.
00:33:03
Speaker
There's wellness retreats and all these different things, which they have their place and they're very beneficial to certain communities for sure.
00:33:10
Speaker
But for me, I would say it was really being healthy, like putting the right stuff in my body, like making sure I was consuming good, organic, all natural food.
00:33:20
Speaker
I'm a creature of habit.
00:33:21
Speaker
So having a routine.
00:33:23
Speaker
So it don't matter what day of the week it is, if you go to Runyon, you're going to see me there at 7 a.m.
00:33:27
Speaker
I'm a routine person.
00:33:29
Speaker
So having structure in my life made a huge difference for me.
00:33:32
Speaker
Yeah, having routine helped me to break out of that claustrophobia and anxiety because I had the discipline in my life.
00:33:39
Speaker
Going to the gym every day at a certain time, even though it sounds crazy, I don't care what's going on, I'll be at the gym at 7 p.m.
00:33:45
Speaker
every night because that's part of my routine and my regimen.
00:33:48
Speaker
I'm not saying I'm not open-minded, but that's what really helped and worked for me.
00:33:52
Speaker
Having new interests, developing new hobbies.
00:33:56
Speaker
I never been like a real big coffee person, but I started drinking iced coffee every day.
00:33:59
Speaker
Just going to the coffee shop, that became my theme, like my getaway, my escape.
00:34:03
Speaker
I couldn't go to Tulum and Puerto Vallarta and Cancun every Tuesday.
00:34:07
Speaker
So I had to go to Colvaciti and Santa Monica and Beverly Hills to do certain things like that.
00:34:12
Speaker
So having those times of daily detaching,
00:34:14
Speaker
can really be a good tool for you as well.
00:34:17
Speaker
And again, the biggest thing is having these conversations.
00:34:20
Speaker
Once you start to feel a little bit better, you start to get a little bit more comfortable opening up and talking to your friends about how you feel.
00:34:27
Speaker
That opens up the door to so much more.
00:34:30
Speaker
Yeah, and I tell people, you know, what we reveal, we heal.
00:34:33
Speaker
And you never know where anyone's going to.
00:34:34
Speaker
I didn't know.
00:34:35
Speaker
I had a buddy.
00:34:35
Speaker
I've known him for 15-plus years.
00:34:37
Speaker
And last year, he's been struggling with seasonal depression for at least 10 years.
00:34:41
Speaker
I'm like, what?
00:34:43
Speaker
But see, that's the benefit of living in California and Los Angeles.
00:34:46
Speaker
We don't have real seasons, right?
00:34:48
Speaker
It doesn't get as cold and snowing.
00:34:51
Speaker
We get rain here and there, but it's not enough to be like, I'm not going outside.
00:34:55
Speaker
I don't even want to go to jail.
00:34:56
Speaker
Oh, it's below 20, whatever, right?
00:34:58
Speaker
And I think the best thing you said was fool you, right?
00:35:04
Speaker
Because fool has energy.
00:35:05
Speaker
Fool owes a vibration, which you consume, you become.
00:35:09
Speaker
And structure, I think you're really a lens of structure and a routine gives you life, right?
00:35:16
Speaker
It traits life.
00:35:17
Speaker
I think the biggest thing I've learned in the whole mental health space is when you have something to look forward to.
00:35:23
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:35:23
Speaker
Have something to look forward to.
00:35:25
Speaker
It's hard to be depressed.
00:35:27
Speaker
Even if you're a depressed person, but you got work, going to work helped you, right?
00:35:33
Speaker
Even if you're suppressing your emotions and you're working, it's helping you because if you sit still and you sit by yourself, you might get a panic attack, right?
00:35:42
Speaker
And I always would tell people, I said, Tony Robbins said it the best.
00:35:46
Speaker
If you're feeling depressed, the best thing you can do is be in service.
00:35:51
Speaker
Depression is the ego.
00:35:53
Speaker
It's the I. I can't do this.
00:35:56
Speaker
I'm not good enough.
00:35:57
Speaker
I can't pay the whatever.
00:35:58
Speaker
I, I, I, I. When you're in service, you take the attention off yourself and you put it on someone else.
00:36:04
Speaker
Therefore, you can't be in a depressed state.
00:36:06
Speaker
Right.
00:36:06
Speaker
Because when you're in a depressed state, it's all about I, the ego.
00:36:10
Speaker
And so I always tell people, you know, no expectation, but appreciation, but give service to someone outside of yourself, make you feel a little bit better.
00:36:19
Speaker
It's not easy, but it's giving you something to look forward to.
00:36:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:24
Speaker
So many people are very self-conscious.
00:36:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:26
Speaker
I shouldn't have wore this gray t-shirt.
00:36:28
Speaker
I should have wore a man.
00:36:30
Speaker
Maybe I should have wore long sleeves or maybe I should have wore a jacket.
00:36:33
Speaker
I wonder if they're looking at me.
00:36:34
Speaker
Can they hear me?
00:36:35
Speaker
Do I look okay?
00:36:35
Speaker
Is the lighting okay?
00:36:36
Speaker
Is there a shadow on my right eye?
00:36:38
Speaker
Nothing going on on the left side of my beard.
00:36:40
Speaker
So many people social encounters where you're consumed with yourself.
00:36:44
Speaker
But like you said, if you can ever learn to loosen and lay aside the self-consciousness and learn to get involved in service, or if you're into spirituality, like you said, learn to be more God conscious.
00:36:55
Speaker
God, what do you want from me?
00:36:56
Speaker
God, how can I help somebody?
00:36:58
Speaker
How can I run the canyon and meet the right person at the right time on the right day of the week and let it open up a door for me?
00:37:05
Speaker
How can I get on this podcast and inspire someone who's struggling and it hasn't even told their spouse or their partner or their best friend?
00:37:11
Speaker
That's what it means to be more God conscious.
00:37:13
Speaker
And the more God conscious you are, the more self-aware you are.
00:37:16
Speaker
Not self-conscious, but self-aware.
00:37:18
Speaker
You're aware of who you are.
00:37:20
Speaker
You're aware of where you are.
00:37:21
Speaker
You become more socially aware as well about the people in your space and your surroundings.
00:37:26
Speaker
You become more sensitive to the needs and the desires of others.
00:37:29
Speaker
And it's a game-changing and life-changing thing, losing the self-consciousness and raising your God consciousness.
00:37:35
Speaker
And losing a self-consciousness and raising your God consciousness.
00:37:39
Speaker
That's a quote with Oprah say, Twitterable moment.
00:37:43
Speaker
They got threads now.
00:37:44
Speaker
Go to threads.
00:37:45
Speaker
You ain't got JG.
00:37:46
Speaker
He said it.
00:37:47
Speaker
It's just incredible how you express the truth from what you've been through to make people feel comfortable and safe to hear it, to actually receive it.
00:37:56
Speaker
Because a lot of times I believe people don't know how to receive the message with clicks.
00:38:01
Speaker
Where they're like, got it.
00:38:03
Speaker
I get it.
00:38:04
Speaker
You know what?
00:38:05
Speaker
I can't change my diet.
00:38:06
Speaker
You know what?
00:38:07
Speaker
I can't create a routine.
00:38:08
Speaker
You know what?
00:38:09
Speaker
Maybe I'm going to go to the gym every day, but at least I'm going to try three days a week.
00:38:13
Speaker
You know what?
00:38:14
Speaker
I've been getting my friends to tell me to come to church.
00:38:16
Speaker
I'm going to give it a try.
00:38:17
Speaker
Right?
00:38:17
Speaker
Because we all have options.
00:38:19
Speaker
What's the story they always say?
00:38:22
Speaker
middle of the ocean and you're about to drown and you know, you're on a raft and a boat keep coming and you're like, God, you want to see me?
00:38:29
Speaker
How you got to wear?
00:38:31
Speaker
You know, it's like, you just never pay attention to the signs that are in your mind.
00:38:36
Speaker
Yeah, because you're so blind by the wrong mind.
00:38:39
Speaker
It's just beautiful how you show up fighting for peace.
00:38:44
Speaker
Now, is there any projects or anything you got going on that the people should know about?
Focus on Physical Health and Wellness
00:38:49
Speaker
Where can we find you and follow you?
00:38:51
Speaker
Like, tell us more.
00:38:52
Speaker
We're going to get into the orbit of you and everything you do.
00:38:55
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:38:56
Speaker
So yeah, you can follow me on Instagram at Julian K. Godfrey for sure.
00:39:01
Speaker
And right now I've really been focusing on my physical health, being more active and also the wellness and wellbeing component of my life.
00:39:10
Speaker
I will always be a mental health advocate, but, and I told you this morning, you told me this experience is the best teacher and we were experiencing life.
00:39:19
Speaker
I've realized that
00:39:20
Speaker
physical movement and physical activity can open up the door for so many other components and capacities in your life.
00:39:27
Speaker
So I'm really focusing on my health, my wellness and well-being, and really sharing those messages.
00:39:32
Speaker
I'm really continuing to support Fighting for Peace, my book.
00:39:36
Speaker
I have a couple of things coming out soon.
00:39:38
Speaker
I am an author, so I do have another book coming out.
00:39:40
Speaker
It won't be out this year, but it'll be out soon, hopefully.
00:39:44
Speaker
So I'm really excited about that.
00:39:45
Speaker
And it's really just a follow up to Fighting for Peace.
00:39:47
Speaker
Fighting for Peace is a periodical that starts in 2018 and it continues through 2021.
00:39:54
Speaker
And it looks back at portions of my, similar to The Last Dance did with the Michael Jordan documentary, how it looked back to earlier parts of his career.
00:40:01
Speaker
It looked back to my childhood.
00:40:03
Speaker
And so my second book is kind of that continuation.
00:40:06
Speaker
And it's like the next part of my journey.
00:40:08
Speaker
But before I release it, I just continue to have these conversations and really getting out within the community and sharing the message of mental health awareness, the importance of good nutrition, the importance of taking care of ourselves, the importance of self-care.
00:40:21
Speaker
Self-care is not selfish.
00:40:23
Speaker
All those things working together, how we can live the life that we're destined to have.
Inspirational Advice on Self-Care
00:40:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:28
Speaker
Well said.
00:40:29
Speaker
Self-care is not selfish.
00:40:31
Speaker
Y'all hear that, people?
00:40:32
Speaker
Follow us on Instagram at Julian Goffrey.
00:40:34
Speaker
Get the book, Fighting for Peace.
00:40:36
Speaker
I'll put everything in the show notes.
00:40:38
Speaker
And can you just leave us with some inspiration before we get off?
00:40:41
Speaker
Some inspiration that just comes to your soul in the moment.
00:40:43
Speaker
I would love that from you.
00:40:45
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:40:46
Speaker
I want to say this, one healthy decision away.
00:40:49
Speaker
I know life can be very difficult and the pressures of life.
00:40:52
Speaker
We start the year off in January on a high.
00:40:55
Speaker
Everybody has that adrenaline.
00:40:56
Speaker
We got the vision board going.
00:40:58
Speaker
We got our goals that we want to accomplish.
00:41:00
Speaker
I'm going to lose that last 15 pounds.
00:41:02
Speaker
I'm going to cut this alcohol out for January.
00:41:04
Speaker
I'm going to be more social.
00:41:05
Speaker
I'm going to spend more time with my family.
00:41:07
Speaker
I'm going to show up with my friends.
00:41:09
Speaker
I'm going to get that promotion on my job.
00:41:11
Speaker
And I'm going to go back to school if I got to go back to school.
00:41:13
Speaker
All these different things, right?
00:41:15
Speaker
But life starts to happen.
00:41:17
Speaker
And life does not care about our goals.
00:41:20
Speaker
Life does not care about our plans.
00:41:22
Speaker
That risk is going to be due to first of every month.
00:41:24
Speaker
Trust me.
00:41:25
Speaker
There's always going to be things going on.
00:41:26
Speaker
But we have to have that relentlessness on the inside of us.
00:41:31
Speaker
And sometimes it's tough to determine that inner fighter.
00:41:34
Speaker
But you just have to take things one day at a time, one moment at a time.
00:41:38
Speaker
And so I say you're one healthy decision away from your next healthy decision.
00:41:43
Speaker
And making a healthy choice, if it's just eating some fresh fruit this morning or having a smoothie in the afternoon or going for that 30-minute wellness walk, it'll lead and open up the door to the next thing.
00:41:53
Speaker
If it's just being open and vulnerable and having that conversation,
00:41:56
Speaker
Checking in with your friend and saying, hey, how are you doing?
00:41:58
Speaker
Are you good?
00:41:59
Speaker
Like, bro, are you really good?
00:42:00
Speaker
Like, just having those open and vulnerable conversations, that's a healthy decision.
00:42:05
Speaker
You're one healthy boundary away.
00:42:07
Speaker
Learning to say no.
00:42:08
Speaker
Learning to, I ain't down with that.
00:42:10
Speaker
I know I've engaged in that and consumed that for the last five years, but I'm good, bro.
00:42:14
Speaker
Like your one healthy boundary away, your one open-minded decision away from a new connection, from a new opportunity that you didn't even think was possible by getting out of your comfort zone.
00:42:25
Speaker
And so that's what I really want to encourage everyone out there is I know it's March.
00:42:29
Speaker
There's a lot going on and we can't stop life from lifing, but we just have to be relentless.
00:42:34
Speaker
We have to be intentional.
00:42:35
Speaker
We have to make a decision to just show up to the best of our ability every day and be gracious to ourselves.
00:42:42
Speaker
Give ourselves some grace.
00:42:43
Speaker
We're not perfect.
00:42:44
Speaker
We'll never get it together all the way perfectly.
00:42:46
Speaker
But just be patient with ourselves and extend that same grace and gratitude to everybody around us.
00:42:52
Speaker
And we can make the world a better place.
00:42:54
Speaker
One else is the way.
00:42:55
Speaker
I love it.
00:42:56
Speaker
I always tell people grace and pace.
00:42:58
Speaker
Life is not a race.
00:43:00
Speaker
Julian Godfrey, people, he is amazing.
00:43:03
Speaker
Like he said, show up, want to help you precision the way, be relentless, be intentional, do the best you can when you can, and just give yourself grace.
00:43:12
Speaker
And the pace of life will catch up to you when you need to.
00:43:14
Speaker
And this is another Bigger Talks.
00:43:16
Speaker
podcast episode of conversation.
00:43:19
Speaker
Shout out to Simplified Impact, the marketing gurus who markets all my content.
00:43:24
Speaker
Don't forget to get you some merch.
00:43:26
Speaker
It's Miracle Season merch.
00:43:27
Speaker
Get your hoodie.
00:43:28
Speaker
Get your shirt.
00:43:29
Speaker
It's MiracleSeason.co and share, subscribe, like, and follow Julia.
00:43:34
Speaker
It's been amazing.
00:43:35
Speaker
Peace, love, and
00:43:39
Speaker
Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger.
00:43:43
Speaker
If you enjoyed today's conversation and found it insightful, please consider sharing this episode with a friend, a co-worker, or someone who can benefit from these insightful discussions.
00:43:53
Speaker
Your support helps us reach more listeners as we continue to foster meaningful dialogues about the diverse subcultures of American life.
00:44:00
Speaker
I'm Eric Bigger reminding you that every conversation has the power to broaden perspectives and foster connection.
00:44:06
Speaker
Until next time, keep embracing the unexpected on Bigger Talks.