Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
#1 Way to Improve Any Relationship in Your Life | Ep. #23
49 Plays4 years ago
Most people waste so much emotional energy trying to "fix" relationships. Putting that focus on the right thing will fundamentally shift the relationship you have with yourself as well as the one you're unhappy with, but it requires you to choose to change your focus.
URL's
Host: JoshCearbaugh.com
Podcast: MultifacetedMasculinity.com
12 Week Course: Jumpstartyourlife.com
Free 15 Minute Consultation: Click Here
Recommended
Transcript
Focus on Self-Improvement in Relationships
00:00:11
Speaker
Sometimes the simplest thing is the hardest thing to do practically. And what I mean by that is the number one thing that you can do to improve the relationships that are around you is to stop trying to troubleshoot and fix those relationships and start working on yourself. There's one consistent in every single relationship that you have, and that's you.
00:00:37
Speaker
So as you begin to learn how to connect to your true self, your authentic self, your true identity, whatever you want to call it, there's a direct ripple effect that hits every relationship you have.
Self-Reflection Mirrors Relationships
00:00:50
Speaker
Most of our relationships that we have right now are a reflection of the relationship that we have with ourselves.
00:00:58
Speaker
See, when those close relationships, they trigger you, we often tend to use those relationships as a really convenient and sometimes feels really real excuse because that's really all it is for being passive or reactive because you're putting your attention on them as the reason that something is happening.
Prioritize Self-Relationship: Beyond Blame
00:01:18
Speaker
And so when you shift your focus and basically remove them as the excuse and you say you know what i'm gonna take extreme ownership and i'm going to look at the areas that i need to work on and i'm gonna make me the number one priority in the sense of improving my relationship with myself.
00:01:37
Speaker
I'm not saying become selfish and egotistical and make you number one over anyone else. What I'm saying is make you number one in the sense of learning how to transition your relationship within from one that is just either there and you're not working on or one that you hate to learning how to love who you are as a person.
Recognize and Address Personal Projections
00:02:01
Speaker
And when you do that, when you shift your focus,
00:02:04
Speaker
you're going to begin to identify areas in your relationship where you've been a victim or areas where maybe you have learned how to adapt to the dysfunction in the relationship in order to find acceptance or love, even though it's a warped definition of what acceptance and love is. It'll be very enlightening when you choose to take that attention and that energy that you put towards managing a relationship
Balancing Immediate and Long-term Relationship Work
00:02:34
Speaker
or bickering about it or identifying ways that it's not working or wrong and shift that to you. Now, I'm not saying that there's no value in working on communication or loving your spouse or being intentional with friendships you have. Don't let the pendulum swing from one extreme to the other. There is value in that, but those are more short
Long-term Transformation: Self vs. External Relationships
00:02:57
Speaker
term. They have their place
00:02:59
Speaker
But they're more short term in the sense of things that are kind of a here and now that you can pay attention to. I'm referring to the long term. How do you shift the relationship at its core, not in a moment, not learning basically how to argue better with someone.
00:03:19
Speaker
So if you want to see change in the long term, you need to be willing to put at least as much effort into your own relationship with yourself as you do with the relationships around you.