Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 114 - ADHD & How to Ruin Christmas: An Anti-Holiday Survival Guide
25 Plays7 hours ago
Had enough of forced festive cheer, sensory overload, and masking through family gatherings? You’re not alone. In this defiantly anti-Christmas episode of ADHDville, your ex-co-mayors Martin and Paul ditch the eggnog and get real about why the holidays can be a neurodivergent nightmare.
From the predictable trauma of bad gravy and baffling bread sauce to the perils of unpredictable dinners and awkward presents (red underpants, anyone?), they share their own chaotic Christmas tales. They explore how ADHD brains clash with the season's demands—shattered routines, overwhelming social stimuli, and the immense pressure to perform joy.
So if you’re feeling more ‘burnout’ than ‘buon Natale’, join Martin and Paul in the tinsel-strewn ADHDville pub. It’s a validating survival guide for anyone who finds the most wonderful time of the year to be the most wonderfully exhausting.
--------------------------------------
ADHDville, the podcast where hosts Paul and Martin bring 40 years of friendship to your ears. As late-diagnosed adults, they explore the ADHD world with fun, games, and the occasional guest—no boring lectures, just a comfortable and hilarious conversation you’d have with old friends. A new episode drops every Tuesday to make your week brighter!
---------------------------------------
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Technical Challenges
00:00:00
Speaker
Positive energy. back in Back in the room. Positive energy. Back in the throne. Positive energy. um Yeah. Oh, blimey. We've been having technical issues. So let's hope that this one works. Follows through.
00:00:16
Speaker
Yeah, know. yeah All right. Well, anyway, without further stuff, let's go to the place where the distractions to landmarks and the details are on the main roads. Welcome to a possibly chaotic episode of ADHD, Will.
00:00:32
Speaker
Let's go. Come on. Come on. It's the Christmas version. Christmas. Christmas.
Meet the Hosts: Paul and Martin's ADHD Journey
00:00:55
Speaker
Hello, I'm Paul Thompson and I was diagnosed with the combined ADHD a bunch of years ago. and I'm Martin West and I was diagnosed with the combined ADHD poopoo platter 2013 and we start off.
00:01:10
Speaker
As always, but in in in our ADHDville pub, which has been um decorated for the holidays, for Christmas, um i think ah where we, the experts of ADHDville podcast, mayors, stuff, business, things, agenda.
00:01:29
Speaker
ah yeah What are we talking about today?
Chaos and Christmas: Fun and Technical Issues
00:01:32
Speaker
How to ruin the Christmas. I already feel like this is an almost ruined podcast before we've even... Yeah.
00:01:41
Speaker
Got anywhere. if So it has to be a request. It's on the fun side. it's not It's not just Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Yeah, we go a bit beyond that. We could go a deep dive beyond your nose being bitten, you know. Right. but Yeah. but By the Jacks and the Frost. By the Jacks of this world. Exactly. Yeah.
00:02:02
Speaker
See, this is this is this is what happens when you have like, don't know, what is that? but About 40 minutes of technical issues is that you kind of lose your flow and your mojo. You have to kind of get it back.
00:02:15
Speaker
You have to it back. Yeah, yeah. It's not easy. No, and I know. But we're professionals. You know what we so are. Thank you, Paul. Thank you for reminding. The show must go on. Yes.
Holiday Drinks and Family Traditions
00:02:29
Speaker
Anyway. um um So, yeah, we're going to stay here. We're going to stay in the pub. We're going to sip on a nice tepid pale ale.
00:02:42
Speaker
Well, you might, mate, but I think I'm going to have like a and and and and an irish an Irish coffee with that nice with whiskey and cream. Something I've had for, yeah, I can remember like back in the 90s, I was like, um and and and in the in the thousands and the 2000s, I was well into into a nice Irish coffee at the end of a night. Yeah.
00:03:08
Speaker
I seem to remember that about you, Martin, yeah. It's a long time of year. Everyone's like, there's like coffee liqueurs and cherry liqueurs and all kinds of stuff that like you don't drink at any other time of the year. And it just sits in the back of the cupboard.
00:03:27
Speaker
Right. know, your babies and all that kind of shenanigans. Christmas memory unlocked, Paul. I remember Christmas Eve.
00:03:39
Speaker
Now I was like 13, 14, somewhere around there. And Christmas, it was a time when actually, um I don't know about you, Paul, but the kids could drink alcohol. Like like there was a little like a little bit. like so So in our house,
00:04:01
Speaker
i could have i could have a cre like a premde month which is like a peppermint liqueur. That's what Pope drinks.
00:04:12
Speaker
Is it really? like God, Lord, that's cheap taste. Anyway, sorry, Mr. Pope. um But ah good Lord. ah Yeah, but my parents would allow me to drink creme de menthe.
00:04:27
Speaker
which is quite a little pokey, it's a little pokey liqueur
Christmas Memories and Family Folklore
00:04:32
Speaker
pool. and yeah And I can remember I i had about three...
00:04:38
Speaker
yeah And for some reason, mean I thought you know it would be funny. i mean, I kind of felt a little bit, woo-hoo, way-hey. But yeah i thought it would be funny if I walked into into the door on my way out of the room. right I kind of thought that that would be a humorous moment. So I did.
00:04:59
Speaker
And then everyone laughed because that was what they were supposed to do. And then they talked about it for years, about how drunk I was that I couldn't even see the door. Okay. So that became the kind of the myth, the story. But just let that run.
00:05:15
Speaker
i just you know I just let them believe So you did it consciously for comedy effect? For comedy effect. And they thought you'd actually done it because you were drunk? Yes. Okay.
00:05:27
Speaker
Yeah, because, you know, that's because that's trauma for You've other people walking into the door when they were drunk and thought, oh, that's what you do.
00:05:39
Speaker
That's what you do when you're drunk. Let me just play this out. You know, I know. Anyway, I mean, so, yeah, we're talking about to ruin Christmas.
Exploring Christmas Traditions and Foods
00:05:50
Speaker
in Yeah. how to ruin christmas so um okay you know You know what? i Because I've actually had, don't know about you, Paul. I mean, because I like Christmas and you kind of don't. So it'll be interesting to kind of like, to kind of just dig into that a little bit. Because I had quite nice Christmases as a kid. It was like, it was toys and presents and food and it was a family. was I mean, it it wasn't, I mean, there was always like, it was always a little bit weird, but it was generally
00:06:19
Speaker
I was like, me andmo i'm and my and my brother had a really good time. Yeah. So how about how about you, Paul? Part of the nostalgia was its predictability, really, wasn't it? i Yeah, I like that. You you did things at ah that were kind of regimented.
00:06:40
Speaker
And no one ever, ever everywhere no one even tried to suggest that, oh, what if we have Christmas dinner instead of tiff to Christmas lunch?
00:06:52
Speaker
And you'd know you wouldn't do it. I was thinking about having a goose this year or salmon. Yeah. Everyone's like no, no, turkey.
00:07:04
Speaker
that's That's all we have. The thing, and it's bizarre the things that you did for Christmas, like number one thing, Turkey.
00:07:15
Speaker
You know, you only had Turkey, right, at Christmas. And it's the only time of the year you had Turkey. Weird. Weird, right? Absolutely weird. The other weird thing is you'd have chipolatas, right?
00:07:29
Speaker
Oh, tiny sausages. Yeah, and I was looking this up, and thought, that's the thing that used to like the most. You have a chipolata and wrapped with a piece of bacon, right? That's what I used to look up. I used to look forward to that part.
00:07:45
Speaker
Right. With, like, oozing with loads of gravy. And I thought, chipolatas? that's That's Italian for little onion.
00:07:57
Speaker
Is it? Wow. All right. Well, that's weird because then, you know, 40 years after that, I moved to Italy by sheer coincidence.
00:08:10
Speaker
Right? know. The suspense is killing you, isn't it? Thinking, where's this going, Paul? Wow. Right. Because, you know, little, you are a little, that little, let's be honest.
00:08:25
Speaker
And, yeah. So at this point, you're probably you're probably thinking, Martin, well, what's what's what's giving? what's what's What's happening there? In short, Martin, the small sausage, known as a chipolata in England, is named after the Italian word for an onion-based dish, chipolata.
00:08:47
Speaker
Over time, the meaning shift via French and British culinary tradition from on from an onion stew, okay, little little onions, chipolata, possibly with sausage, maybe sometimes with a sausage, okay? Okay.
00:09:04
Speaker
right To it meaning actually small sausage. And the name stuck even after the recipe's changed and the and the onion part disappeared from the recipe.
00:09:17
Speaker
Bring the onion back. So the sausage had more staying power, but it got it got tarnished with the with the onion name.
00:09:29
Speaker
now Okay. Chipolata. Just to kind of get us back off of back on track ah a little bit. um the So the food part, but you know, bit um you could ruin Christmas if you didn't have your favorite thing or the thing that you really wanted. And for some reason they didn't do that thing. Like, I mean, like mine was, the roast, the roast, but but but the roast potatoes were really important.
00:10:04
Speaker
The, oh, bread sauce, a bread sauce, which is, I'm pretty sure is a very confusing thing to most people. It's true to me.
00:10:17
Speaker
Wow. All right. So bread sauce. It's a sauce made out of bread, mate. And has an onion in Yeah. Exactly. i don't understand why we had it, but I really liked it.
00:10:30
Speaker
It was a sauce made out of bread. So you'd have you have your turkey, you have your cranberry sauce, you have your bread sauce. Right. And potatoes and parsnips. Parsnips. Love them. What's a cranberry sauce?
00:10:43
Speaker
Yep. Fantastic. We only had cranberry sauce at Christmas. Yes. Yes. but like i never tried bread sauce because i just it was a wrong one for me it's a wrong concept was a wrong one i never touched it never touched it looked at it suspiciously it was white made out bread and right why what what what kind of ride was was that the next day on on on boxing day which is the 26th of december
00:11:14
Speaker
I could make a Breville sandwich, you know, like those those toasted sandwiches and a toasted sandwich maker. And I could make i could have a i could have a bread sauce toasted Breville sandwich. So it was bread with a bread sauce filling.
00:11:35
Speaker
Bloody hell. I love that. I love the bread. Wow. Bread? Anyway, that was good. um How to ruin cook Christmas. What about ah christmas christmas aracker make Christmas crackers, crackers.
00:11:49
Speaker
Hang on. Before we move on to Christmas crackers, did you ever... for whatever reason, have to have Christmas dinner at someone else's house that was entirely unpredictable.
00:12:03
Speaker
You see, that's it. That's
The Comfort of Predictable Holiday Routines
00:12:05
Speaker
it, Paul. I think oh oh I'll come to back to Christmas crackers at some point. But, yeah, when it's around someone else's house, yeah eight oh it's just, it's random. It's so random. It's wrong.
00:12:21
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah. It's wrong. It's going to be. i beginning Someone said, oh, my mum, she makes the best Yorkshire pudding. ah Oh, ah the best thing. And you're eating it and think, oh, it's really bad.
00:12:35
Speaker
Yeah, I know. And you walk out that it's not because it's tasty, it's because it's your, the fact that it's badly cooked is kind of covered by by the the kind of the thin veil of nostalgia.
00:12:51
Speaker
Yeah, but it's the nos nostalgia of the person's house that you're staying at. It's like... Yeah. Of them is the best thing ever. Right, because it's always been cooked badly, therefore they expect it to be bad, and they're happy when it's bad, whereas coming along, going, oh, God, this is all wrong.
00:13:11
Speaker
This is wrong, mate. I had to taste this. They said, oh try try these, mate. It's like loads up my plate, which is the other thing. I hate a loaded plate.
00:13:22
Speaker
Don't like that. And he put like four Yorkshire puddings on my plate and they were raw at the bottom. They hadn't been cooked properly. I'm thinking, I've got to eat all of those because he's really proud of the Yorkshire puddings that his mother can't make.
00:13:40
Speaker
oh Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's that's another thing. Yeah, I think generally Christmas around someone else's house, if you're used to bit being on your in your own house, is like there's nothing about it that is good from beginning to end.
00:13:56
Speaker
you Right. Because you're someone else's house, you can't do what you want. It's all because it's quite it's quite a stimulating day right there's a lot going on there's presence there's shit and you kind of need you need your little safe areas to kind of just kind of go and decompress a little bit and just kind of like just and now we look at it through the lens of uh or autism right mm-hmm And you think, oh, wow, that's why, you know, kind of the predictability of it, especially, okay, hang on to your britches, mate.
00:14:36
Speaker
Yeah. The gravy. My mum made a particular gravy that I loved. Yes. If you went round to anyone's how anyone else's house, the gravy was always um below standard, substandard.
00:14:54
Speaker
Yeah, oh dear. Too thick, too beige. Too beige. Too gorgeous. The colour was wrong. It was Pantone 639 and not Pantone 724.
00:15:09
Speaker
Too much corn flour, you know. yep, yep. Too much thickening and thickening agents. My mum didn't use thickening agents. It was just the drippings from the turkey.
00:15:22
Speaker
and Okay. With a little bit of hot water mixed into a little bit of salt. That was it. Chopped up. That was your gravy. No thickening agents. Right. Yeah, I had to have a – when i was a kid, I did not like Brussels sprouts at all. And I know plenty of people don't like Brussels sprouts. And i was always forced to have one.
00:15:43
Speaker
so So I had an annual Brussels sprout. Like I forced myself to have one Brussels sprout every year. Yeah. And and then eventually, after like 35 years – thirty five years I actually liked them.
00:15:59
Speaker
it it environment It took me that long to have one Brussels sprout. I always liked that with the mushroom. All right. And now I can't get enough of mushrooms.
00:16:12
Speaker
Oh, very nice. Another mushroom. oh, we love a mushroom, me. So I guess ah back to like Christmas christmas a crackers, which yeah if you're not from the UK will be a confusing thing.
Christmas Crackers: A UK Tradition
00:16:26
Speaker
Basically, sarah ah ah they are a a little tube. and it's got little little papery things on either either end and you basically uh two of you have to have to hold the ends of the tube and you pull it yeah and then there's like a bang sound and then inside then you unwrap it and inside the tube is like a it's like a paper hat in the shape of a crown a joke um and a small toy.
00:17:00
Speaker
ah And how to ruin... i mean, like, is is as far as... i mean, ah actually, you know what? It's is hard for Christmas crackers to to ruin Christmas because they're just stupid things anyway, but... but i've got I've just had a quick look it and looked it up. It's from Victorian times.
00:17:25
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Almost all of the stuff that we do for Christmas came out in like a 10-year period, I think. It was like it was like this yeah this point, I think, is around the, you know, like Dickens was part of all that. Yeah.
00:17:43
Speaker
if Originally, had you had a surprise in it in in it that they would be wrapped up in pretty paper, sugared almonds. Right.
00:17:54
Speaker
by a man the man who invented it was a man called Tom Smith. Of course he was. There we go. But I mean, like, as kid... And he added the cracking sound, yeah. As a kid...
00:18:06
Speaker
I always wanted them to be better than they were. i always wanted the gift, the thing inside to be good and fun, like a little toy.
00:18:16
Speaker
But it never was year after year after year. And then it it wasn't until I kind of, you know, like until I i eventually caught on, oh, it's always going to be crap, isn't it? You're always going have a shishh shitty gift.
00:18:30
Speaker
Oh, okay. All right. Even when your parents start to get ah a little bit, you know, they're a bit better off and we started getting the luxury Christmas crackers. And you thought, oh, blimey.
00:18:42
Speaker
Oh, our family's moving up in the world. We've got luxury Christmas crackers from Waitrose or from Marks and Spencers. And then turned out that the whole point was that they were shitty gifts. Right.
00:18:57
Speaker
m There was no point in them being any better than shed. it was fine. Yeah. you You know what? As long as it made the sound. And that extends to the joke that you get inside it. So each crack you have a little paper piece piece of paper with a joke on it. And you have to think, hang on.
00:19:19
Speaker
What the fuck? woo My screen went really weird there. Anyway. Yeah, so yeah ah yeah so so if you think Christmas Day in the UK, everyone has crackers, right? we're're We're crackering up. where We're grabbing a whole lot of crackers and we're pulling them and there's jokes in our hats. are flying And there's this joke inside, which I didn't realize until a couple of a years ago. it's like It's always a bad joke, right? It's always like a really basic kids level joke and i and they weren't funny they were just extremely corny and then it wasn't until i realized that they're supposed to be bad and the point of them is so that everyone around the table so you you get out your joke and then you read the joke to the rest of the table and then you tell the answer and everyone goes oh that's a terrible joke
00:20:16
Speaker
But the point of them is that everyone gets the joke, right? It doesn't matter if you're like seven or you're 70. You all get the joke so that no one feels left out. Or 93. Yeah.
00:20:30
Speaker
So I was like, oh, yeah, I kind of like that. Kind of like that, Paul. I like that. And then, yeah, but that was always something you look forward to. It's like, oh, there's Christmas crackers.
00:20:44
Speaker
And it's ridiculous. It's actually pathetic, really. But we did, it it was all part of the nostalgia of always, isn't it? That predictability, you know.
00:20:56
Speaker
You ticked all the boxes all the way through day. Yeah, but there was one one Christmas, I think it was 1984, or
00:21:05
Speaker
I think because the Jean-Michel Jarre Zuluc album was out and I got it. nice And I was like, yes, this is a great album. and I put it on the stereo and umm and I'm very happy.
00:21:17
Speaker
Me and but my brother, happy. My parents are there doing their gift things. They're happy. My my my my granddad is there. He's happy and because, you know, because at that point he was like old and he lived with us. So he was like, he was there. And then can remember i was like, I was on on the floor of the clear of the living rooms surrounded by wrapping paper, looking at my album cover,
00:21:47
Speaker
I'm reading it like like you did. And then I look over at my granddad and he hasn't got dressed yet. He's in bathrobe dressing gown thing and he's got his legs wide open and he's got his Christmas plums just kind hanging out there.
00:22:04
Speaker
and and he's got his legs wide open and yeah and yeah and he's got these christmas plums just kind of hanging out there
00:22:16
Speaker
Or if that's more like prunes. Oh, God. How to ruin Christmas. Granddad, you're ruining Christmas for me right now. I had this i'd the same, but it was someone else's granddad.
00:22:29
Speaker
oh Oh. He was squatting. we were opening the presents up, he was squatting down in his pyjamas, and his tucker was hanging out.
00:22:43
Speaker
Yeah, so it's like if someone else's granddad, you can't say to him, oh, granddad, granddad. You know, it's like, so you have to like do it third party. It's like you're looking at your friends whose granddad he is. Right.
00:22:58
Speaker
Well, can you see what I've seen? You know? you know All of sudden, everyone becomes very Twilichwists. You know, they're trying to say something without moving their mouths. Like, she's got this fucking taco open in her arm. Blimey.
00:23:15
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. that That is a bit of ah of of a danger, isn't it? If you're all down there in your PJs and stuff, accidents are going to happen.
00:23:29
Speaker
But is that a sign of old age? Because if I if i was squatting down as my tackle was hanging out, i know I'd know. know it. Yeah, you'd feel a breeze.
00:23:43
Speaker
Yeah, you You'd know it. Oh. Is that what happens when you get a bit older? You lose that kind of...
00:23:53
Speaker
i hope not extra sensory perception of of kind of of your prunes dangling i hope not i hope not this is i yeah oh blimey um how else can you how else can you can you ruin ruin christmas well what probably at the same time that your granddad's Taco is hanging out. you you go you You open up one of your presents and it's a chocolate selection.
00:24:25
Speaker
Right. Great. I like that. And then, as we talked about this before, and I was like disappointed because one of them, it was always a way for the chocolate companies to sell chocolate bars that no one was eating the rest of the year. So you just throw it in there.
00:24:42
Speaker
All right. You know. yeah. So it's always the Turkish Delight they put in there because it's only people like you, Martin, that liked it. I love me a Turkish Delight.
00:24:53
Speaker
Yeah, I'm in. Turkish Delight. I'm there. I'm weird. I'll take it on the nose. the last time you had Turkish Delight? I mean, i don't have that often. But when I when i when i went to the UK, as I would every year, so I went back to the UK every Christmas, right, for years and years.
00:25:17
Speaker
um So I wouldn't spend it home. ah with my my my my wife. I went back to the UK and every year I would have at least one Turkish Adelaide.
00:25:33
Speaker
I would land. You liked it that much. I would i would i would land in the the UK, go through the airport. There was always there was always a double eight smiths there at the airport go in there turkish delight uh cadbury's fruit and that uh cadbury's double de decker um oh now you're talking yeah then you kind of get i would get me sweeties i would do the same and i'd go straight for the twigglers right
00:26:09
Speaker
yeah twiglets that's that's go for the twiglets the double decker could be an option the double decker could definitely be an option um with the possibility of um smoky bacon crisps prawn cocktail no pickled onion monster munch Oh, night jo there we go. That's that's the that's a champion.
00:26:35
Speaker
Champion. shit Champion Right. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well. ah I've got.
00:26:45
Speaker
Yeah. and Another a whole different category here. Are you ready? or yeah got suffering on
Pantomime: A British Christmas Entertainment
00:26:51
Speaker
No, no, no. Hit us with your pantomime. And it's I'm sorry for anyone that lives outside the outside of england England or of Britain. Pantomime is a very traditional British kind of thing. It's like is when men dress up as women, basically.
00:27:08
Speaker
and but for because ah They started out in Elizabethan times when women weren't allowed on the stage in theatres. So men had to perform the parts of women. And it's still going on.
00:27:22
Speaker
Right. It's still going on. So on Boxing Day... not fun Right, so on Boxing Day onwards, you would go to the local theatre, right? Exactly, yes. They would have like a play on, which was like Cinderella or... Yeah, Sleeping Beauty. Sleeping Beauty, blah, blah, blah. And it was a sort of a comedy... Snow and the Seven Dwarves.
00:27:44
Speaker
comedy show for kids and adults and you'd often have like a sort of a t a a c-list star in there like exactly starring george kaboom from you know who yeah who was extra on uh this uh this uh tv show um yeah and I'm making extra money.
00:28:13
Speaker
I've been to one. So have you did you ever go to Panto then, Paul? I was in Panto. What mean you were in Panto?
00:28:24
Speaker
I was in Panto. At school or or like on the stage? It was school stage. Okay, school panto. okay that School panto.
00:28:36
Speaker
It was a version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, except it was Snow White and the Seven Rockabillies. Wow. And I was Snow White. No, I was one of the rockabillies.
00:28:49
Speaker
Right. They were like, Paul's quite, quite small. Let's let's get him up, up, up there. Yeah. So, yes. ah What, what, what part did you play? Did you have a name?
00:29:02
Speaker
I can't remember the name. I just remembered my line. all right. Give us your line, Paul. Give us your line. let line Not lines, line. Right. Come Paul. Because I think, I was thinking about this this way. I was writing the script of the of this episode. was thinking about it. And I think I must have told them, I must have...
00:29:24
Speaker
Thinking about my ADHD and autism, right? At some point when they said, oh Paul, we want you to be one of the dwarves, okay? I probably said to them, I can't remember the words. Don't give me loads of words because I'll forget them, right?
00:29:42
Speaker
Yeah. So my line was, we get and someone's stolen my toothbrush. yeah. Oscar, give the man Emmy.
00:29:54
Speaker
i mean Delivered like that, it sounds pretty, you know, whatever, but totally the crowd, I tell you, they they carried me out of them.
00:30:09
Speaker
You know, they they were going crazy. And
00:30:15
Speaker
apparently they still talk about it.
00:30:20
Speaker
ah no ah yeah I love that for you, Paul. but yeah No, and but you know what? Go on. I was like, because there was always like a school play, right? Yeah. And i was i was thinking about this yesterday. i I wasn't ever in a school play that was like a Christmas nativity thing or a panto thing. it never was.
00:30:52
Speaker
yeah So perhaps off to you, Paul, for your acting career. I think that you ended on a high. I think you came I think so. um and you and you brought the house down and he thought, you know what, that is my acting career. It will never get better than that.
00:31:09
Speaker
Right. figure that particular full performance was, um i think I would have been about 10 years old. So it would be 1977. So I figure that strangely that coincides with the year that Method Acting started.
00:31:33
Speaker
Right? So you brought all the... a coincidence. The Can't be a coincidence, Paul. Meryl Streep, Robert De Niro, Daniel David Lewis bow yeah my at my effigy. Right.
00:31:50
Speaker
Where is your lifetime achievement award, Paul? Where? Exactly. Where is it? Yeah. ah ah But I was looking up alternative because you get like Cinderella, right? And you get Goldilocks and the three bears and Sleeping Beauty, right? There's actually gay versions of the same things.
00:32:14
Speaker
Okay. so Or even adult versions of pantomime. So instead of Sleeping Beauty, there's Sleeping Booty. Right? Blimey. Other version of Sleeping Beauty.
00:32:27
Speaker
There's a drag of queen interpretation of Cinderella. It's called Cinderfella. Nice. Right? That sounds not and last week Last but not least, a gay club panty parody.
00:32:40
Speaker
Goldilocks and the Three Barebacks.
00:32:47
Speaker
I think it's hilarious. I love it. I love it. i am i am I am all for all of that. yeah All right. Well, I think... Have you got and anything else before I wrap this rap this Christmas? Well, only a quick thing about about the music.
Diverse Holiday Traditions Across Cultures
00:33:10
Speaker
Christmas always coincided with really, really shitty compilation music albums.
00:33:17
Speaker
And it was all because your mum or your auntie or whoever didn't know what the fuck you liked in terms of music. they said, I'll get you a compilation album.
00:33:30
Speaker
So there's a kind of scattergun approach to buying Christmas presents. I'll get them a compilation album. They'll have at least one track on it. you know And there was a time in British record history when yeah on compilation albums...
00:33:54
Speaker
ah you couldn't have the original artist on the compilation album. Yes. It was else doing the exact same song yes as close as they could yeah to the song, but it wasn't them for some yeah weird legal reason. Bizarre, isn't it? It was called, the most famous one called Stars on 45. Yeah.
00:34:22
Speaker
Right. Yeah, I think you're right there. Yeah. Yes, Starves on 45. So you'd get, so you'd unwrap this album-shaped Christmas present, and you're thinking, what is this going to be?
00:34:34
Speaker
And it's a compilation album of songs that you don't even like by someone else. Yeah. It was the worst. The The worst thing ever.
00:34:46
Speaker
The worst Christmas present. Probably because it was also a lot cheaper. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's that's a good way to like ruin ruin Christmas is to get like compilation album.
00:35:01
Speaker
I used to keep her close eye the quit on the on the records that my sister would get as well because my sister would play any record she had endlessly. She would have it on repeat for like four or five weeks. So i I knew what fucking music I'd have to listen to for at least the next two months, judging judging by whatever people had bought over Christmas.
00:35:26
Speaker
Oh, my God. Constantly on repeat, it was. m Yeah. yeah yeah That's not at all neurodivergent in the slightest. Not at all.
00:35:38
Speaker
Not at all. just If you're watching or listening, Jay, my sister, it wasn't new. I don't imagine at all. Don't worry about it. Move on.
00:35:49
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Nothing think to see here. yeah Well, you know, I mean, I'm i'm lucky to have to have had some really good Christmases and not very many have been ruined at all. But... But yeah, hope you guys have a really good good career Christmas, ah however you want to spend it, even if it's like you don't celebrate Christmas at all. mean, that's the thing. So in New York...
00:36:16
Speaker
um This is going to be because you come from a very Catholic country, right? You come from, but you live in a very Catholic country. live in, yeah. So it's all Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. Whereas in New York and here, we have, mean, there is a very Jewish community there is a very large there is is a very large jewish um community who who who don't do Christmas at all. And they have their own true tradition. So so one of one of them is to go and eat Chinese on Christmas Day because there's no one eating in in Chinese restaurants on Christmas Day. So the Jewish people would head there and then they might go and watch a film in the ah ah afternoon going... go and catch a Hollywood blockbuster. Nice.
00:37:16
Speaker
Yeah. so ah Other really nice Christmas traditions, just remembering this, I think was in Scotland. they they They don't do so much now, but they used to leave the door open for any strangers that wanted to come in And the article was that you the idea was that that they there was an open door kind of mentality so that if someone was down on their luck, they could always on Christmas Day walk into any house and get a hot toddy or something to eat.
00:37:49
Speaker
I thought it was really cool. Yeah, that's a very nice um yeah there was medieval tradition where you would um yeah where you would go around everyone's house and you had to like host and give them.
00:38:04
Speaker
Yeah, even to strangers. Stuff, yes. Yeah. Exactly. um I think we should bring it back. i'd see I don't know. See, I'm, you know, I'm not even sure that I, you know, like, yeah, I have enough to trouble having people round to my house that I know.
00:38:24
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. Strangers rock it up. Yeah, I'm talking absolute nonsense because I hate unpredictability. I need predictability at home.
00:38:35
Speaker
Right, yeah, I don't want someone coming in going, right, where's your where's your drinks cabinet, mate? It's over there. All right. Have you got any whiskey? Yeah, it's over there.
00:38:46
Speaker
We know how, do you ever have friends who used to have, like, their back door was always open? It's not a euphemism. the Literally, their back door was always open. and Right. And, you know, like, people just drop in.
00:39:01
Speaker
all day, you know. yes And I admired it. I remember really admiring that. I thought, that's really, really cool. I liked it. But I could never do it. Oh, no, our front door and back door are generally open all the time. you could You could literally just push the front door and come into our house almost. Really? not all Yeah, yeah.
00:39:28
Speaker
So during the day, our back door is open and our front door is unlocked as well. That's me knocking on your front door.
00:39:39
Speaker
Is it? Yes. All right, mate. Well...
00:39:46
Speaker
Fuck off. That's not Christmassy, mate. Come on. Get in the festive mood. Fuck off, Rudolph. Anyway. um ah All right. All right. Well, let's go to... This is going to interesting. Let's go and rate Christmas.
00:40:05
Speaker
Okay, yes. Is it a Japanese hit or is it a bird and half thing? Christmas, is it is it a a dopamine hit or or is it a burnout thing? I tell you... Whoa, this is a hard one.
00:40:21
Speaker
Right, right. Because... It's... I mean, if you take it generally, right, you've got the whole – you have to get
Comparing British and American Christmases
00:40:30
Speaker
gifts for everyone. You've got to wrap them. There's all the planning, the food, the who's going to whose house, what you're doing, the the the travel. You've you've've got to psych yourself up to meet Uncle Fred with his fucking right-wing views. And you've – like there is – There is a lot. Oh, masking. That's when your masking is seriously in overdrive, isn't it? Yes.
00:40:56
Speaker
At Christmas. it it is It is insane. That's when you've got to fake it to make it. Right. I mean, ah kind of quite like the the the British tradition of you have Christmas Day, you have Boxing Day, which is like, you know, which is a day off as well. And generally, people don't work between Christmas and New new new Year's, right? So that week in between is usually...
00:41:26
Speaker
You don't work or there's a, you know, that's fine. Whereas here in the States, you go straight back to work the next day. There is no boxing day. You're straight back in. but that suckgs And you work till New Year's Eve.
00:41:42
Speaker
new year's eve So at least for us, we have the whole Christmas thing and then we can chill out for yeah for a week and no one expects anything of you base basically. Yeah.
00:41:57
Speaker
But I've got two weeks off because nothing really happens in Italy until the second week of January. Oh, okay. Nothing really happens. Yeah.
00:42:08
Speaker
All right. In Italy, you have two weeks. I'm liking that country a little bit more now. Yes. ah All right. You start, Martin. what's what's What's one to ten? Between zero and ten.
00:42:23
Speaker
i will ill There is a lot of dopamine if you're just talking about... dopamine there is a lot of stuff that is quite exciting about christmas there's the whole run-up to christmas and the christmas presents and and and seeing people and telling stupid jokes and i i like it i i like it so i i would say it's as a period of time there was a lot of lot of dopamine to be had so i'm gonna say like it's like like ah it's a nine i would say it's quite it's quite oh wow for me that's way up there yeah
00:42:59
Speaker
I'm the opposite end of the scale. I'm thinking like two. That's fine. thinking me about two. There's going to be plenty of people listening to this going, no, I fucking hate it.
00:43:11
Speaker
I'm with Paul. um Yeah. yeah it's it's It's just something to get through. Two, all right. So if if I've got, if I was with my with my son around Christmas, then I would love it.
00:43:28
Speaker
And it be ah be ah it would be, I know, it might be a five or six. But and that's the, only yeah, max. Maximum six.
00:43:40
Speaker
Yeah, but now he's like 25 years old in February. So he goes way down. Goes down to two.
00:43:50
Speaker
Oh, dear. All right. So a a burnout thing, I mean, like, it's fucking high. It's really high. so i would say it's if if if you're hosting...
00:44:07
Speaker
ah It is, yeah, I would say, you know, like, ah yeah, that's that's like a sort of, a that's like an 8.5 generally.
00:44:18
Speaker
if If you're not hosting, then it then it's usually kind of goes down to about a 6. Right. But yeah what about you, Bill? Okay.
00:44:30
Speaker
I, last week, no, it was even before then, two weeks ago, i popped out of my um house and I went to the baker and,
00:44:44
Speaker
And in the meantime, there was
Holiday Burnout and Music Frustrations
00:44:46
Speaker
a market. There's a market on every Tuesday, okay? And someone was banging out, Maria Kerry, all I want for Christmas is you.
00:44:56
Speaker
and um So burnout score, just to give you a kind of like context, that is just like, oh, for fuck's sake.
00:45:07
Speaker
music maria carrie all i want christmas is you even eddie agrees with me don't you eddie eddie and we yeah i'm giving burnout score is um is is uh nine oh yeah yeah big big burnout yeah yeah well i mean like that like in manhattan i mean there there are certain things so if you're in manhattan around christmas and it starts to snow and there are lights it is like and and you're there in the evening and there's like a there's there's like a sort of a a christmas market there and you're having your your hot chocolate it is like
00:45:52
Speaker
it is like the best place to be on earth. at at You know, it is like a little piece of them of something of Christmas, something of of Christmas and magic.
00:46:02
Speaker
yeah You know, there are these little, um yeah, so I love going into Manhattan around that time of year. It's just like, it is, there is something really nice and nice about it.
00:46:14
Speaker
I mean, what do I, I mean, Italy feels like it, you know, like, you know. Once they really get into it. Yeah. Yeah. One things, oh one of the things, weird thing is, I forgot to mention this, one one thing, it was my first Christmas in Italy, was massively spoiled because I opened a gift that was handed to me by my ex-sister-in-law.
00:46:38
Speaker
I opened it up and it was a pair of red um pants, underpants. underpants. And I was like,
00:46:49
Speaker
what
00:46:53
Speaker
What's this all about? Right. It's a tradition in Italy. It's a tradition. Yeah. Okay. And you didn't know. From your sister-in-law.
00:47:04
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. You're thinking, we she's thinking of me wearing these underpants. Yeah, exactly. This is a bit weird in front of everyone.
00:47:19
Speaker
You know that thing where if you're opening gifts and everyone's you know everyone's looking at you while you're opening up something and you have to do that whole performative thing oh wow this is nice exactly and yeah just just so as everyone knows like if if i do actually open up a present from you i actually do like the thing but yeah but i mean like but there but but there are there been big patches of my past where i didn't like the thing and you'd have to yeah mask your way through that whole thing
00:47:57
Speaker
Usually the the thing to say was, oh that's exactly what i needed. oh this is lovely. and then This is so nice. i've i've I've kept the receipt just just just in case, and you're like, oh, no, no, it's fine. Yeah. No, no, I like beige.
00:48:18
Speaker
Yeah, I like beige underwear. All right, so yeah ah did you give us... give us Oh, yeah, ah did he did you give... I gave a nine, Bernard. Yeah, all right. I'm surprised you forgot.
00:48:32
Speaker
Yeah, so basically for you, Christmas is always... it's always It's always a bad thing and always, and for me, it's always a good thing. Just, just, just about. All right.
Beloved Christmas Stories and Their Impact
00:48:49
Speaker
All right. Well, now um I think we can. i think we're going to, you know what? I'm just going to get into, we're going Alexandra's, ah
00:49:04
Speaker
Alexandra's haunted inn. haunted in So um I've got the tractor and as you can see it's all like covered in tinsel and there's a red nose. Nice.
00:49:17
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:49:23
Speaker
course, so winter is a really good time for ghost stories. So, I mean, like I was having a chat recently. ah One of my favourite stories of this time year is Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol with Scrooge. Oh, lovely. Love that.
00:49:40
Speaker
And the ghost. Oliver. I have to get that out every every year. I used to love watching Oliver. Yeah. Oh, right. I love Oliver. Yeah.
00:49:51
Speaker
Anyway, she's you know what Alexandra did? um So last week we were talking about she was knitting some gnomes for her for her Christmas tree.
00:50:08
Speaker
And and she she sent me... um a picture of one of her gnomes. um And i'll just um I'm just going pull it up on my on my phone. Where is it?
00:50:21
Speaker
God damn it. um And she had done... and yeah umm I'm going to have hold um have to hold it up to the to the camera. um She has done ah a gnome, which is me.
00:50:36
Speaker
nice it's like a big beard and then there's like a little gnome that's so it really looks like you actually and then know i know right there's some so there's some glasses there and there's like a little house my my normal and i think that she's doing you as well so so um oh nice so ah So if she does does that, I will show you that on the on on the next. so um So we may well be ah on her Christmas tree this year. And you know what? I certainly will. This is the first, you like fan art.
00:51:09
Speaker
This is the first piece of fan art. yeah that Yes. That's ah a podcast milestone. that's That's a milestone right there. Yeah.
00:51:20
Speaker
Fantastic. Fantastic. How excited are we? Anyway, and then she's, yeah, do you want to kind of talk about ah what she said about last last week's episode?
Special Interests and Listener Engagement
00:51:33
Speaker
I've got it in there. Yeah, so um she was talking about Autism and special interests, um which, you know, we are both and on and ah unofficially autistic. Yeah. So um ah I'm i very much down with that.
00:51:56
Speaker
But to what does she she write? Yeah. she's talking about talking about when you've got like a particular hobby, right? Right. A hobby slash pastime that you're particularly interested in at that moment. And you just assume that the whole world is interested too. And you go into a whole long monologue about, about your new hobby. And you realize that the other person is just not interested at all.
00:52:23
Speaker
Right. and But it's it's kind of karma, isn't it? It's like we have to listen to all the shit from neuro typical people. So, you know, it's it's kind of a good karma in a way.
00:52:36
Speaker
so I love it. It's good karma. Take it on the chin, mate. I have to hear all your shit. Your rubbish about no the latest. No, you'll have to like, oh, blimey. I'm back again. Blimey. Technical weirdness. But yeah, I think that I love that, Paul. That's how we should think about it when we yeah when when we do have a special interest and we talk and talk and talk about special interest and the other person's eyes start to glaze over. No, we we we shouldn't feel bad about it.
00:53:09
Speaker
it's it's It's just payback for all the crap that you have to listen to about their normal world. Love it, Paul. Yeah. That perspective.
00:53:20
Speaker
It's a bit like when someone asks you about your your ADHD diagnosis or something like that. but I was getting my hand tattooed last last Friday. yes. Show us your hand, mate. Show us your hand to the to the camera.
00:53:37
Speaker
There's my hand. There we go. So it what ah describe the ah your... So they look like little aliens. It's like a little alien. look like little aliens. And it's like a sort of... Showing them to the camera there.
00:53:51
Speaker
It looks really cool. I like it. Yeah. love it. And he said, oh, Paul, my girlfriend said to me couple of weeks ago, she said, oh, his name is Stefano. Stefano, do you think maybe you have ADHD? but Yes, yes, yes. So we had a long chat. system How do I know if I've got ADHD? Well, you know, long chat.
00:54:17
Speaker
long long chat about that yeah it was cool it was a cool chat nice all right let's get into the quiz that we do every every week it's three questions multiple choice um and uh i i got last week uh i got all the yeah you well last week you got all three I'm feeling a bit under pressure because i think I think I have to perform today. Otherwise, I'm way down. All right.
00:54:48
Speaker
Let's
Holiday Mishaps Quiz and Fun Stories
00:54:49
Speaker
see how you do. so this quiz is is on the theme of Christmas Gone Wrong. It's a Christmas Gone Wrong quiz. So here we go. Here we go. All right. Everyone ready? Everyone ready? Question number one.
00:55:03
Speaker
What was the real cause of the famous 1983 exploding Christmas tree tree incident in a small English town?
00:55:14
Speaker
Was it A, too many fairy lights plugged into one one socket? Was it B, a cat climbed in and knocked over a candle?
00:55:27
Speaker
Or was it C, the town's Santa parade accidentally launched a firework into it? Into your... I'll go for the last I'll go for three.
00:55:40
Speaker
All right, let's have look. a And the answer is you are correct. you You are correct. Yeah, so in so yeah, a town ah town Santa parade accidentally launched a firework into it, and that was in Dorset.
00:55:59
Speaker
Of course it was. in In England, and no one was was hurt. There we go. So it goes off to a great start. um Now to America. In 2014, a family in Florida called emergency services on Christmas morning because A, their giant inflatable Santa def deflated and attacked a neighbor's dog.
00:56:28
Speaker
B, a squirrel came down the chimney and terrorized everyone in the glit in these in the in in the room. was it C, someone deep fried a frozen turkey and blew up their a garage.
00:56:51
Speaker
Do you get squirrels in Florida? I don't know, mate. I don't think you do. I'll go for one. You're going to go for their giant inflatable Santa deflated and attacked a neighbour's dog.
00:57:07
Speaker
lets Let's see. go Scroll down. It was, sorry, mate, but it was B, a squirrel came down the chimney and terrorised. deep The police were called and the squirrel won. Damn it.
00:57:22
Speaker
So you do get squirrels in Florida. There's something I didn't know I could know. Mm-hmm. All right. Third, so this is all resting on the last one here, mate. All right. All right. Pressure. And we're over to Scotland now.
00:57:39
Speaker
Yeah. What unusual Christmas dinner emergency happened to a couple in Scotland in 2020? Did A, their turkey got stolen by us say by a seagull through an open kitchen window?
00:57:58
Speaker
Was it B, their oven broke, so they cooked the whole meal using a hairdryer and a camping stove? Or was it C, their pudding caught fire and set off the town's church bells?
00:58:13
Speaker
So what was their unusual Christmas dinner emergency? Was it stolen by turkey? The first stolen turkey. And you would be correct.
00:58:27
Speaker
Their turkey got the home got stolen by a seagull through an open kitchen window. Well done, Paul. Thank you. can make good You can hold your head up high. I think I'm still behind, though. think you're like maybe one up.
00:58:47
Speaker
ah You know what? I will have to try and try and go back over the episodes and a tally. I know I won't. I can't say that I should. I mean, I should, but I won't.
00:59:00
Speaker
right You should, but you won't. That sounds way more accurate. shit I should go back and do it, but I won't go back and do it. All right. All right. Well, blimey, Paul.
00:59:13
Speaker
Blimey. That was that was um awesome. So I guess that's oh that just leaves for you to say. Your feedback is vital to us, and we read all your comments, and we might read out one of your comments on a future episode. Yeah, loads comments, please. Tell us about maybe, tell us about your weird Christmas things that happen or didn't happen. Alexandra, you know, what weird traditions do you have in Greece on Christmas Day?
00:59:43
Speaker
Or maybe you don't. No, there is something involved. there was a boat They decorate a boat, I believe.
00:59:54
Speaker
Unless I missed the discussion. Yeah, ah they also have us a strange little Christmas character. And I i did write write down the name of it, but I can't see where I... Hang on.
01:00:13
Speaker
um But they have a little so strange little Christmas christmas a gremlin. I think he starts on Christmas Day and goes on for a while and he basically tries to ruin everyone's Christmas or something. I can't remember.
01:00:31
Speaker
It begins with a K. um Okay. Anywho. Anywho. Yeah, so tell us about yeah about you know about your Christmas stuff. What are you looking forward to? um Anyway, so that oh next ne list so next on the agenda is next week's
Looking Forward: Plans for Next Episode
01:00:52
Speaker
episode. So next week will come out on the...
01:00:55
Speaker
ah Oh, yeah, we did 22nd, I think, or somewhere around there. um Yeah. Yeah. 23rd. Yeah. So what are we going to be talking about next week, Paul?
01:01:06
Speaker
Tell us. ah we're We're going to do a ah good, bad and the ugly episode. We haven't done one for a while. We've done six in the past. This will be the seventh all right so that's uh where we just like catch up on you know you know on our age we live going yeah just catch up on our miserable lives yeah yeah we'll just see who can be the worst the more miserable out of exactly the the biggest scrooge
01:01:38
Speaker
Maybe that would be it be the the the good, bad, and the Scrooge. Right. Yeah, except i'll I'll be the good because i'm not particularly Scroogey. at christmas time um all right all right so that just uh leaves me to say i'm just waiting for the music to cue in oh there it is adhdville is delivered fresh every tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts please subscribe to the pod and rate us most christmassy most mood doftastic
01:02:11
Speaker
um And feel free to correspond at will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful, beautiful faces. Hello. Then Sally forth to the YouTubes and the TikToks.
01:02:21
Speaker
And you can also pick up the quill and email us at ADHDwill at gmail.com. But in the meantime, fucking kind to yourself this Christmas. And I beseech you fellow ADHD gnomes.
01:02:36
Speaker
Fare did well with gladness of heart. Oh. Oh! Do that. Just do that. What itch it is today. There. Mr Mayor.
01:02:46
Speaker
That's that.
01:02:51
Speaker
That's nice. So got through it, Marty. We got through the episode. know we did. I know we... That's relief. I know, because if if if we didn't actually... If this episode hadn't worked, it would have been like... may have actually just kind of... You know what?
01:03:08
Speaker
I think we just won't do it. But anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blimey, that's dramatic. It worked out. It worked out. It worked out in the end.