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The Search for a Church That Says Yes
172 Plays4 days ago
In this encouraging episode of Raising Autistic Disciples, Larah Roberts sits down with content creator, podcaster, and special needs advocate Camille Joy of Moments of Joy. Together, they talk honestly about raising autistic children, grieving what changes, finding community, navigating church hurt, and why discipleship matters so deeply for families like ours. Camille shares her story as a mom of five, her journey from executive chef to advocate, and the heart behind her new devotional, Moments of Joy: 90 Days of Encouragement for Parents of Children with Special Needs, which releases March 17, 2026 and is available on Amazon.
Grab the devotional here: https://amzn.to/4b8BBTQ
Connect with Camille here: https://www.mojpodcast.com/ and https://www.instagram.com/momentsofjoypodcast
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Transcript
Opening: Makeup Woes and Podcast Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
for Okay, sister. Listen, let's just... Before we just... do Okay. I spent $26 on concealer. And it still looks like I got raccoon eyes.
00:00:12
Speaker
No, you don't. You look fine. don't think so? No. you know But you know the whole, like, anything over $7, you're like, this was this is getting expensive here. and is. And they're not getting cheaper.
00:00:26
Speaker
They're not. But, I mean, maybe it maybe it's working a little Yeah. You know, are our own worst critics. so We are. But come on, concealer. You got to the Lord's work. It's so dark. Anyway.
00:00:45
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Raising Autistic Disciples podcast. My name is Lara Robertson. It's a joy to be your host. And speaking of joy, man, do I have someone with me today who is an absolute joy. Actually, her middle name is Joy. Camille, welcome to the Raising Autistic Disciples podcast.
00:01:04
Speaker
Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be here today chatting with you. And like we said before we started recording, we're going to have our coffee together so this morning on the show. We got it. We're going to, you know, I told Camille, I don't have any questions. I have questions, but i didn't send her ahead of time because, you know, i mean, we... Being on Instagram, we know a little bit of each other's lives and we understand. And so to get the chances to sit down, even though a microphone's in front of our face, we're just going have a coffee chat of like, girl, let's get real life here, you know? And sister, I know you know exactly. We share the same experiences um as far as raising an autistic disciple.
Camille's Advocacy Journey
00:01:44
Speaker
But I want you to start just by telling like,
00:01:49
Speaker
Tell about your sweet boy, but also tell about you, what you have going on and and things like that. Just introduce yourself to those listening. Yes. i am my Well, my name is Camille Joy. My mother actually named me Joy because I was her second child. And she she had a very traumatic birth before me. So um my birth was so easy that she gave me the middle name Joy. But what she didn't know was she was giving me what I would need to carry me through life And it has really become a theme um to choose joy and hold on to the joy of the Lord, which is our strength. So I'm a mom of five boys. i am a wife. and my youngest son is... mason he is
00:02:33
Speaker
born with congenital heart disease. He has several heart defects, which he needed to have several heart surgeries. And he still watched every few months, um, for more surgeries that may need to come about. And at two, he was diagnosed with autism and then intellectual disability and then ADHD.
00:02:53
Speaker
So here I started, sort of, I didn't call it advocacy at first, but I just started sharing our life um because I noticed people were, you know, interested in asking questions. And somewhere along the line, I became an advocate because um of the ignorance that we face.
00:03:16
Speaker
And, um you know, Sometimes I said yesterday, it's easy to be isolated in this, but it's hard to find community. It's harder to find community. It's harder to find your people. But thank God for Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, where we can connect with wonderful people across the globe. Really? That's it.
00:03:39
Speaker
That's it. Awesome. I love it. Okay. How did you, how'd you start on Instagram?
Viral Moments and Community Building
00:03:44
Speaker
Well, I had this podcast, Moments of Joy, but it wasn't. I was an executive chef.
00:03:49
Speaker
So when I started Moments of Joy podcast, I was working out a chef as a chef. I had just had Mason. Mason was about one years old. And Moments of Joy wasn't even...
00:04:00
Speaker
For parents of children with special needs, it was for Christian women. So when you go back and you listen, you'll hear my sister s singing our theme song, which is the joy of the Lord and all these things. She made it and she sang it. And around 20. So I started in 2018 and around 20, the end of 2020, early 2021, I shifted. What happened was there was this audio app called Clubhouse.
00:04:25
Speaker
back then and we would get on the app people while we were in the pandemic and we would just talk so um because I was a podcaster i already was used to talking so I climbed like to the top in that app we had the largest parenting club but in the app we I will host a support group for families that had children with special needs every Monday.
00:04:48
Speaker
And I would do it whether it was four people there, whether it was three people, 10 people, 12 people. And we would talk through an audio. Of course, you have your headphones and you're talking. But it was very organized. But my club had over 60,000 parents in it. when i And I really believe.
00:05:04
Speaker
Just like how, you know, God tells us that we're faithful over the few things who make us rule over many. And that's literally I continue to just do that because I was learning because it was helping me. It was like therapy for me to connect with other parents. And that's how I found community. So on Instagram, I shifted to now talking about special needs parents in around 2021. It was our first time going viral. And um it was just a day where I had Mason was crying for like five hours.
00:05:37
Speaker
I took him to the urgent care because he kept tugging on his ears and we were trying to look in his ears and he like turned into the incredible Hawk. We couldn't even look in his ear. The doctor nurses were on the floor and the doctor touched my arm. And she said, we are not going to torture him to try to figure out what's wrong. I'm going to give you some amoxicillin.
00:06:00
Speaker
And if he gets a fever, you take it. I got in the car and I was, of course, my heart racing. I'm probably, Just I'm a mess. I'm crying. And then I press record because I thought about it. As I'm going through this and Mason's for now, it must, this must be a thing because when I went to the doctors, his pediatrician, she said, it's sensory.
00:06:25
Speaker
He doesn't have infection. was like, what? He was screaming bloody murder. And so I, Made a video just saying, you know, the life of a special needs parent, you know, nobody sees the doctor's appointments, the late night, sleepless nights. And then I left them with a scripture at the end.
00:06:46
Speaker
And that was that was it. That was the beginning. That was it.
Career Shift and Family Focus
00:06:50
Speaker
And now here it is. And I mean... People, you know, you built a community on there. And I'm just I'm grateful because in the early days, you know two years ago before that, I was able to do exactly what you said, not feel alone. And that and so thank you, sister, for just being, you know, transparent and just just showing up ah for people. i I am interested. Tell me, let's I want to dive in more about you being a chef. Because there's something we haven't, I haven't talked about. And yeah this is another one that people don't talk about is careers.
00:07:24
Speaker
So, okay. First, tell me your favorite thing to, to cook or at yeah. Tell me. You know, i don't have a favorite thing that that's the funny thing. And I think most chefs will say that if you ask them, I just love eating my food after when I make something I'm like, oh, this is so good. and like yeah I'm like the favorite, the biggest fan of my own food. Yeah.
00:07:47
Speaker
yeah But I love, um I guess if I had to pick something, it would be like um Spanish food, Puerto Rican food, because that was the first thing I learned how to make when I was 15. My mom had a friend um who was Puerto Rican and I wanted rice and beans. My mom was like, I don't know how to make rice and beans. So her friend came over one day. She told us what to buy and she came and she taught me how to make Puerto Rican rice and beans. and I love it. And that's where I learned like the beauty of cooking in different cultures. So I like to cook different cultures. um food I love that.
00:08:22
Speaker
I love that. That's awesome. So did you have to step away from that? I did. So did you okay ah six years ago, we moved from Connecticut. I'm from Connecticut. So we moved from Connecticut to Houston following the leading of the Lord. um i had a dream. I woke up, told my husband that I think God was calling us to Texas. wow And he was like,
00:08:49
Speaker
Are you nuts? We don't know anyone from Texas. But like a few weeks later, he was like, you know what? I think we should visit. I think we should try it because we were looking move to Maryland. But when I had the dream, the Lord said to me, will you prosper Maryland? Yes. But your destiny is in Texas. And I was like, you got to go to Texas. So I was an executive chef. I worked for a fortune 500 company in Connecticut. I was the first woman to hold that, um, that job at that place, Conair corporation that makes the hair dryers, the blow dryers. So, um, we moved to Texas and within four months, um,
00:09:30
Speaker
mixed with Mason's diagnosis. It just, we were up all night. I was coming of home from work crying because my husband was bringing Mason to his appointments for speech therapy and occupational therapy and all the things. And I'd be like, what the doctor, what'd they say? And he's like, oh,
00:09:49
Speaker
He can't remember to tell me. And so that would mix with the exhaustion and me just being miserable at work. One day my husband said, I've never seen you cry this much.
00:10:01
Speaker
All the time we've been together. He said, you know, you can leave. And I got us. And I was like, in such a tired space. I was like, you don't have to tell me twice. And I left and I thought I was going to just be a stay at home mom.
00:10:16
Speaker
And all of this work kind of just spiraled. So that's how I was able to be on a clubhouse app because I was home. But then here we are now, 2026, it just spiraled into something beautiful.
00:10:30
Speaker
Yes, it has. Yeah. So I love cooking and that's why I cook with Mason. I gave him a Montessori knife already. He's I said he's going to learn know how to cook full meals by the time he's 11 because he can already slice your vegetables the way you need it He's already really good with that from his little plastic. That's awesome.
00:10:50
Speaker
ah love it. I love it so much.
Grieving Careers and Church Challenges
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah. So sister, did you ever, and i I'm about to just get real vulnerable here. um Did you ever, do you ever miss, like, even though what's going on right now is you can kind of, you know, if we knew then what we know now and and seeing God's blessing of what's happening. But is there times where as a career woman, you look back like, and just maybe a little bit grieve or was there a season where you grew like having to give that up?
00:11:20
Speaker
Yeah, i I sometimes think about what what what I would be or where I would be if I didn't leave. And then now I always say, I'm so far out of it I don't even know.
00:11:33
Speaker
i would be like a fish out of water going back to yeah yeah Even though I was an executive chef and I did it for 12 years, it just seems so foreign now. I'm so, I'm such a different person. It just goes back to like, even in marriage, I remember last December and I can remember the month because it was such a ah moment for me and my husband. We both sat on the couch and we cried and we were acknowledging how we changed our Due to just being special needs parents, how it affected us. And my husband said, I am grieving um what our life was like before Mason, you know, where we could get up and go, we can go have time together and just do what we wanted. And, you know, although he's eight, we still have a toddler. And so I think those moments are are so necessary to have to allow yourself to grieve so that you can allow God to really meet you in the real, not pretending like it's not here, it's not happening because this is hard. And we don't know whether we will be lifelong caregivers or not.
00:12:41
Speaker
That's right. That's right. And you really, you have to take it just one step at a time. Because if you try to to put life's puzzle pieces together for the future, you you just really can't. You can't. work I don't think God designed us, or obviously he did not design us to be that way because we would be completely overwhelmed. And so you really just take it one moment at a time like you did in in that process. And so, yeah, there's been times in my life, although I am working right now, where, um you know, I had to step down from church staff ah because of the demands. And that that honestly, looking back from a teenager and a college student, that was really one of my dreams was to be on a church staff. Yeah. But it brought it brought a lot of layers to it that I was not anticipating and long story. But yeah, I had had to give that over. and And again, exactly same same thing. The Lord has marked my steps to other things of where he wanted me beautifully. And so um and and, you know, I mean, it it has its challenges working, being a working mom and working.
00:13:48
Speaker
um navigating the all the stuff kind of thing. yeah um But you take it one step at a time and prioritize health and time with the Lord and ah marriage and family. and And he gives you wisdom in that. yeah um and that's And that's what you said. Prioritizing time with the Lord is is so important. I remember when Mason, yeah i was i gave my life to Christ at 21.
00:14:16
Speaker
um After I had already had a hot mess of adolescence, i had I got tired and I said, I'm running back to my foundation. yeah And so i I gave my life to the Lord. Now, I was used to going to church every Sunday.
00:14:31
Speaker
Okay. And when Nathan began to have a difficult time in church, we couldn't. So that was really me I really had to shift and, you know, talk to myself in the mirror. It's okay if you don't go this Sunday, you, this is not a reflection on your relationship with the Lord.
00:14:49
Speaker
You have a real relationship. You talk to him and you can have church right here for a season. That's what it had to be because we couldn't go. He couldn't differentiate because we're in the black church. Our pastor is going to hoop and holler. He thinks the pastor's yelling at him.
00:15:09
Speaker
yeah doesn't know that he's just preaching. And so now he's going into full meltdown because he thinks he's getting yelled at. Yeah. How did you navigate that part that season?
00:15:21
Speaker
but It was, it was difficult. Um, for a while I will go to church. Okay. yeah My husband would stay home with Mason and we had to make a difficult decision to leave our church. Um, my pastor, he was the best in the world in that, in that shift. I had, I went to him and I said, you know, my husband he has spoken and decided that we need to find, um you know, a different church, one that was better suited for our family. And he said, you are doing the right thing.
00:15:59
Speaker
and he was like, you look up at these walls in the church, look at the doors, what's over the doors. And I said, the exit sign. He said, that means you're supposed to exit. m He said, you are doing the right thing for your family. And the next week he said, you know, the Lord broke me up out of my sleep. And he said, before you go, i want to ordain you. And that's when he ordained me for work, the work that we would do in ministry. Wow. Ordain me as a minister. And he's still my, like a mentor to me now.
00:16:31
Speaker
we are still in relationship, but he released us to go. And so then we went on a search to find a church with a special needs ministry. gosh sister yeah how can we duplicate those type of okay he's writing a book too called the exit but i just i was so blown away because i expected you know what what we experienced i expected like maybe the cold shoulder and you know like okay well bye no no it was like you no daughter you are doing the right thing i'm so proud of you guys and
00:17:06
Speaker
Yeah. I was so shocked. That's awesome. Yeah. So that that brings up a good thing to point out here. So um and ah I'm working on volume three to Letters to Lindsay. It's all about church. Sister...
00:17:21
Speaker
It may be a little bigger than all the other ones. you know what I'm saying? Because I got a lot to say on this subject. um Or a lot of navigating and equipping, encouraging to do for Lindsay, but also church leaders that that read it. And so in, like, i I don't like that we have to help people navigate, stay or go.
00:17:41
Speaker
I don't like it. I don't want to talk about that. But as you know, Instagram gives us a avenue to have our pulse on the challenges that special needs families face. Yes. And so we got to talk about this because what I've seen is we have people leaving church that don't need to leave, that need to persist and continue. a little bit longer, but we also have people that are staying too long that are getting traumatized, and so they need to go quicker. So the conversation needs to be had, but what you bring up right there, and then what we'll segue to, but first before we do, like, it in I have five indicators of stay, five indicators to go, and I'll do another podcast on this, but one of the five...
00:18:20
Speaker
five indicators to go is, uh, you know, like the first four are, well, let me see if I can name them harm, uh, false teaching, which is like, it's a demon, you know, that's one of them. like Okay. You run. That's right. That's right. So harm, obviously, ah false teaching.
00:18:38
Speaker
i am blanking on the next one. um, ah No movement where there's like none. You can't approach leaders or there's no movement. They're not doing anything to support you. And then leadership's absent. Like you they won't meet with you. that So those are the four. But the fifth one is in its own category. And that means there's some things that you can't change. Meaning if your kid if your kid cannot um ah handle fluorescent lights. Mm-hmm. Well, the church may not have a million dollars in their budget to replace lights. If if it's an old building, they can't change the smell. um
00:19:12
Speaker
I mean, you wouldn't ask your pastor, that pastor you mentioned, to change his personality in preaching. Absolutely. You know, so there are some indicators where it's like, ok It this is it's time for us to look for. And and you followed one of those, though you know, of thing is is understanding we want to worship as a whole family. But ah ah when he gets passionate, which is so cool to watch a preacher be able to to relay the word of God in a passionate way. But it's just not how our family can worship together as a whole. And so you made that move. And they didn't have the capacity to incorporate a special needs ministry because their children's ministry was so small. So they really struggled with volunteers. So they couldn't give us what we needed. But but one thing critical thing to say about that process, you did not go out and burn the ship.
00:20:05
Speaker
No, Speak to that. Speak to speak to how how to go forth with joy, be led forth with peace. That's it. Integrity means so much. And just because they couldn't provide in that season doesn't mean they won't provide in the future. It's on his heart now.
00:20:23
Speaker
As he builds, as they grow, it's continually on his heart. We talk and he and when they move to a new new location, it is something he would like to incorporate.
Discipleship and Church Inclusion
00:20:34
Speaker
yeah. You know, you have to know that your leaders love you, but that is, it's just like a child, right? Like everything our children want, we can't give them everything. You know, I wanted to buy my first son a car, but I couldn't. He ended up getting his own car when he got a little older, but it's no different. You know, there's ah a lot of members and a lot of needs and we have to give grace to them. And so I remember having a
00:21:06
Speaker
A day, a hard day with Mason and in church and we left early and I came home and I could not stop crying all day. When I came home and I sat on the couch, I cried because i thought about, I began to see,
00:21:23
Speaker
young adults with special needs, older adults, 40 and 50 with special needs. And the Holy spirit asked me a question, who will disciple them? And that thing broke me down. I had never had a burden.
00:21:38
Speaker
I never felt like that before. And I cried all the rest of the night. So I finally laid my head on a bed and, um, I said, God, what are you, what am i supposed to do? You know, I'm i'm crying, I'm praying, you know, and I seem to always be praying about this, but what, why am i feeling this? What am I supposed to be, do? And he was like, you do it.
00:22:01
Speaker
you disciple them. And so it's something that I know i need. I have to build up as well. I have to be the one to go into these homes and ask in Texas here. We have a lot of them ask if I can come do a Bible study, you know, one day as ah at one day, have a sensory service on a Saturday or, you know, another day where, you know, the gospel, you teach it.
00:22:27
Speaker
So those are the ways that when we don't see, we can still make sure that they are disciples. We don't always have to look for someone to do it. no And so I believe that's the work that my pastor saw. So everything in God's timing, but it is it's a need that I'll answer the call on.
00:22:49
Speaker
You just made a very, a very crucial distinction. And I want to point, I want to point something out. Okay, so many times, i'm I'm sure you get these questions too, from special needs parents, my church won't start special needs ministry. So they're telling me to start one. Okay, let me make a a crucial observation of what Camille just said. She just made the distinction of discipling other parents and children. She did not mention, go start a ministry. There is a big difference. Do I do I do am I grateful for the special needs families who start their ministries? Yes, but I write about this and i I'm a big component of I believe we can start them. We just can't sustain them. um
00:23:30
Speaker
But what you just mentioned is totally different, sister. Like, like ministries are great. A place to belong is fantastic. that I mean, it should be a goal. We need other people's help. But what you just said, the distinction being I can I can move toward people in a a shared lived experience of what you're doing and teach them what it means to follow Christ.
00:23:53
Speaker
who Absolutely. There's a difference. There's a huge difference. So if you're not seeing a ministry start at your church, yeah reframe your thinking to discipleship in your community.
00:24:06
Speaker
And you know what? It's not everybody's call. yeah We are called to be disciples, but not on that you know, level where you want to go and disciple everybody, every child, you know, it's not everybody's call, but.
00:24:19
Speaker
Right. It could look like though, um a mom in Carline who, you know, I mean, you see them, we see, I see moms and, you know, getting out their kids to go into the Graham's classroom all the time. And, and I'm feeling convicted of, it's just, could ask her for coffee.
00:24:35
Speaker
ye And that's discipleship. Just to see where she's at, we have a we we have this shirt. So that that's just a one step. um so I want to move toward, because I want to talk about ah the viral video.
00:24:49
Speaker
that ah That went crazy um in a good way, in ah in a in a way of, i know you share this with me. It's so hard to determine what we share and what we do not share on the internet. We we don't we want to build up the church, but we don't want to we don't want to live in it. We want to make known the hardships that we face to brothers and sisters. in christ yeah so you you had a video and it started off with uh and i felt like i was facetiming with you that's and i'm sure that's what everybody else was feeling too yeah um but sisters there's tears coming from your eyes the video showed and you're walking out into a parking lot uh with sweet mason but by your side and uh the church is in the background uh walk us through that moment what what was happening
00:25:36
Speaker
Yes. So as I stated, we left our church and we went on the hunt to find a special needs ministry. So I found one that was about 10 minutes ah from my house. And my husband was away this weekend, but I was like, I'm going to see if this church is a good fit. Me and Mason are going to go visit. um You had to sign up ahead of time. I registered him ahead of time. The The um woman who was in charge called me, talked to me for 10 minutes about Mason.
00:26:05
Speaker
And um I felt like, okay, we're good. So we go there on a Sunday morning and... He's a little hesitant. He's pulling me away a little bit. He starts whining a little bit. He's not sure this is a new place. And um the woman who is the director, she was like, um you know, we don't take children, all children. So we don't take children like Mason. We take more high.
00:26:38
Speaker
and she stopped. I said, high functioning. and She was like, well, we don't take children with severe medical issues or, you know, children that are more severe in their behaviors or in their, you know, basically who are not high functioning. so um all the other children were kind of.
00:27:03
Speaker
able to walk and walk by sing along to the music as I was watching them in there and sing praise and worship. And I was like, okay, well,
00:27:15
Speaker
can I stay with him the first three or four times until he gets used to coming? And she was like, um I don't know. um and i was like, okay, well, at this point I started crying right there because i'm I felt like I was begging for Mason to come to church and trying to figure out ways that we can make it work.
00:27:40
Speaker
And then I said, it's okay, it's okay. We'll just go. And i so i was really sobbing at this point. And she came out and she hugged me and she's like, I'm sorry. I'm like, no, it's OK. Thank you. And I walked away and I'm bawling.
00:27:55
Speaker
And I'm not bawling for me because I'm rooted. I'm saved. But this would have been somebody's one day, one time. Sometimes we only have one opportunity to make an impact. This would have been somebody's moment that they decided I'm not going back to to try church again. And so that's where I made the video because my heart began to break for the parents who need the Lord. And they and they are dealing with severe um children, but they just can't find a place for them in church. So in a special needs ministry, I only went there because it said special needs ministry and it's a big, beautiful thing. I didn't tag the church and I didn't do that on purpose because, you know, I didn't want to drag them down. It wasn't about them. it was about the body of Christ. There's a need for, you know, our families to go to church because that percentage is huge, just as huge as divorce. Yeah.
00:28:55
Speaker
90, 85, 90% do not attend church because it's difficult. You know, with so many reasons we know. And so, yeah, that, that video went viral with the positive in the negative. I ended up limiting the comments as people um commented. And I, I made some followup videos because the video wasn't for everyone. That was a followup video. Um, Sister, through the question in my head, because I'm wondering, um maybe maybe I'm not looking for validation on my own, but maybe maybe we can talk through this. Yeah. You talk about your middle name being Joy. In that moment, was there anger?
00:29:35
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And anger at so many levels because, you know... I am from Connecticut. I said that um in the beginning.
00:29:50
Speaker
So I'm from the East Coast and in the East Coast, there are no special needs ministries. There are no ministries um like that. Very little. There are some, but very little. um I live in the Bible Belt now. i'm down South. There's a lot more.
00:30:07
Speaker
And so all of that came to my mind and especially culturally because I'm African-American. Our churches, tend to focus more on autism as a demon and, you know, let's cast this out instead of embracing the whole family.
00:30:23
Speaker
You know, if there's a family with a child with a disability, i love to serve. We love to tithe you know, a church is missing out on all of the family. when they can't When they don't create space, when they have the ability to, but don't create space for special needs children. And it doesn't mean you need to build a sensory room, but it can be, can you do like the Outback and have a sensory kit for your ushers when they know somebody might need headphones, right? Or fidgets, or even making sure your staff is trained, your yeah your ushers and your your greeters. you know, with care and with kindness, your ministers that when someone is prayer time, that you're not making a spectacle of the disabled people now, you know, um it's so much, it's so much. So it, I was angry and I am often angry and I'm also often just going to the Lord and um using, i say I'm a troublemaker in a good way, but because I don't mind,
00:31:24
Speaker
you know, continuing to tell this and to share that we need space because someone it's working, you know, people are saying, you know, wow, I never thought about it. I'm seeing some of the most popular pete preachers begin to follow and, you know, send messages and they're taking note to how they can make a difference. If autism, the diagnoses are um rising.
00:31:51
Speaker
hmm. The church needs to be in place. Excuse me. My nose keeps running here. i all oh It doesn't. It doesn't even be in place. cat i'm i've to i just kind of want to just like pepper you with, hey, do you feel the same way? If not, it's totally fine. Does it get on your nerves when people speaking of like the the things rising? Does it get on your nerves when people go, why do you think that is yeah because i'm like i i'm like okay i listen i i'm i get it people are curious um here's what for those of you listening that maybe church leaders or just maybe like family members are thinking if one of your family members just got a diagnosis of a child do not let the first question you ask them out of the gate be why do you think that is we don't know we don't know we don't know
00:32:39
Speaker
and i And I try to say it doesn't matter to to me. It doesn't matter. I don't even want to focus on it. It doesn't matter. we told It's just the wrong question to ask. Okay, I'm glad I'm not alone with that. No, you are not. I am very triggered by the question.
00:32:58
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, if I was a researcher... And my hairdresser asked me the question. I'm like, oh, God. Do you think it's this? Do you think it's that? gosh, help. And I mean, I mean, you know, because these past two years, I've kind of gotten interested in like, ah i' I'm definitely swinging above my league and as far as my IQ goes here. But like, i am i am interested in like why people do certain things. Yeah. And like why they react, why they like, and I get it. Curiosity of like, if you say the whole like, it wasn't like this, you know, did did and but we also didn't have the research back then either. didn't have the research. No. And so I often wonder, and I'm not trying to, because some people are very ah unintentional.
00:33:46
Speaker
They're really, they're curious. Other people, I wonder, I'm like, are you asking me the question because you're trying to identify, don't where I went wrong, where like, are you trying to, because you have a stance on a certain issue and you're trying to identify something of like, oh, well, here's your fix here. You shouldn't have done x y Z. And I think, you know what I'm talking about? Like, so like, I don't know. I think it just kind of yeah, right. Right.
00:34:18
Speaker
I'm like, man, if we could, if we could further this energy of trying to, ah and I know, again, some people are unintentional, but it does come off like you're trying to place shame and blame.
00:34:29
Speaker
um And that's the last thing parents need. Yeah,
Conclusion: Encouragement for Special Needs Families
00:34:32
Speaker
it is. Because when you say something, you, you'll just go on with your life, but that is going to stay with the parent and their thoughts and their heart. I remember somebody asking me when I got the diagnosis, what happened?
00:34:46
Speaker
I don't know. He's autistic, but it's like, like he got the flu or something. yeah that it That is a, I will say that is a ah ah ignorance of like, the more you and I and others by God's grace can help educate on like, it's not something they just caught.
00:35:06
Speaker
Like, you know, i mean, but again, again, there's different perspectives and there's different lived experiences. And I'm sure you know, it is really hard for us on Instagram to speak to all of them and not upset somebody. And we are learning that. Yes.
00:35:23
Speaker
We are definitely that. And so, well, sister gracious in that. Right, right. um Man, what a great conversation this has been. I'm so grateful for you. Hey, real quickly, how are you raising an autistic disciple?
00:35:37
Speaker
Oh, my gosh. I'm including him in everything. it's It's really difficult when you have a child that has limited um communication and language. So you don't know what they're taking in.
00:35:49
Speaker
but we've learned to maximize on music because he loves music. ok Every day when he goes to school, I'm either going to play the children's church music, Father Abraham, all the things I grew up on you know, Jesus loves me, every little thing.
00:36:06
Speaker
um Or, you know, there's a gospel singer named Richard Smallwood who recently passed away. um He was in his 70s. And so I started playing his old music to remind myself what great songs he made. And, um...
00:36:23
Speaker
one of them is mason's favorite here we are two months later when we get in the car he's saying music music and it's it's a praise anthem so the other night i was praying for him when it was time for bed and i said in jesus name amen and he said praise him and i was like that's right mason that's it that's right he is learning he knows the lord you can't tell me he doesn't uh the other morning his father was putting his socks on he's like jesus jesus he knows he knows he feels him he he knows so you just have to pour in where you can we learn not to teach typically you know
00:37:08
Speaker
Play that music on on YouTube, those children's church songs and, you know, remind your child that Jesus loves them until you can expound off of that and begin to teach them different things. right. We make it way too complicated. We do. Make it simple. Just as simple as, you know, what Deuteronomy says is when you're coming and you're going.
00:37:31
Speaker
Right. You know, yeah ah that's awesome. One last question, sister. yes If you could, ah if you were having coffee with a Lindsay, meaning a a mom that just received that piece of paper is overwhelmed, doesn't understand is is going, what do we do next kind of thing? And what what would you what would be the one thing you want to leave her with?
00:37:54
Speaker
Take a deep breath. And remember, this is my theme for Mason, Jeremiah 29 and 11, that God has a plan for your child.
00:38:07
Speaker
Remember, and it's a future and a hope. It is a plan to prosper your child and not to harm them. So even with this diagnosis, God still has a great plan. You know, ah learn not to compare them to others.
00:38:21
Speaker
Learn to find the resources, find community. But you take it one step at a time and it's okay to grieve. It's okay to grieve what you wanted, what you want, even if it's not waking up in the middle of the night, even if it's potty training, grieve those moments and then you move on. You just don't stay there. You give them to the Lord and you continue to move on. Ask him to be your strength.
00:38:47
Speaker
through this no because many times you will need it but know that the angels of the lord are walking alongside you to guide you to to protect your child to be with you and that god is with us and and you're not alone that's right that's right sister that's right man thank you so much for just being on the raising autistic disciples podcast sharing so many truths and encouragements man yes you are so grateful we don't have to do it alone absolutely absolutely well thank you for listening to this episode with camille joy go find her on instagram and all the things she is a wealth of knowledge but also just deep encouragement and hey sister you have a book coming out moments of joy 90 days of encouragement For Families Raising and Children with Special Needs is a 90-day devotional. So it's not a book about my story, but it's a book where I poured in the word encouragement and the affirmation at the end for you to speak and decree and declare out loud over your life and over your child's life. So please go ahead and grab your copy on Amazon, on Barnes and Noble, wherever Walmart, Target, wherever books are sold, get your copy and stay encouraged.
00:40:02
Speaker
That's it. I've already got mine. i can't wait. yeah Can't wait. a Awesome sister. Well, thank you for being on this episode. Thank you for listening to Raising Autistic Disciples podcast. Have a great day.