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Join Collin and Larah as they look back over season one and offer a few regrets, wishes, and even more excitement for what is to come!

DM Larah on Instagram @RaisingAutisticDisciples to give us some ideas on what topics you'd like to hear going forward!

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Transcript

Podcast Introduction and Format Discussion

00:00:00
Speaker
We good? Chick chick. All right. All right. Ready? So I can say whatever I want to and you're not going to yell at me, right? I don't know. Well, okay. Well, just if I say something, you don't want to just stop. That this is, are we used to keeping this under 10? Yeah. We're keeping this under 10. Okay. Here we go. Do you start all the episodes? Yeah. You go ahead and start. Huh? You go ahead and start. No, I wasn't asking to. It's season one recap. Can we just start the episode with me asking that question? Yeah, go ahead.
00:00:33
Speaker
All right, so I got a question. Let me ask this for, this is our 10th episode, right? yep So why do you start all a podcast? I have no idea. I don't even know what I did yesterday, much less if I started every, I don't think, I i think you at least, why are we arguing about this? Well, just typically like when you ask me the questions, it makes it seem like that you're that interviewing you you're interviewing me. I want to interview you. Okay, go ahead. All right, so if that's okay, we're going to do a season recap look of seasons of episode 10 of season one of Raising Autistic Disciples podcast. So, Lara, I'm interviewing you. There you go. What is your, what was your favorite episode?

Favorite Episodes and Dr. Connor Bales' Interview

00:01:09
Speaker
Oh, my favorite episode. um Let's see, just kind of tracing back. We did four episodes before we jumped into the five stages. um after the autism diagnosis for the Christ-following parent. And then we went into the five stages, denial and diagnosis, grief and acceptance, new normal, education advocacy. um I have to say, like I love ah really did love all of them, the conversations that we had. ah I mean, each of them have a different thing. I think the one that just sticks out for me is the interview with um Dr. Connor Bales. Oh, yes.
00:01:42
Speaker
Um, mainly because what the things that he said have kind of been the, um, stakes in the ground for theology of suffering. ye But I think I mentioned this in episodes past that when we got off recording and I wish I could have, I wish I would have not stopped recording, but when we got off recording, I asked him a simple question. I don't even remember what that question was, but all I remember is his answer.

Faith, Theology, and Parental Hope

00:02:06
Speaker
Um, and his answer was, Lara,
00:02:09
Speaker
because if you've listened to the episode three, you know that ah ah his two daughters are ah um individuals impacted by disability and precious girls, precious family. And so, and he's a pastor in Texas. And so um he said, you know, my girls and your Graham, ah we can't imagine it on this side of eternity because our, you know, our sin and our flesh keeps us from understanding. But he says, we can't imagine it. But one day in heaven, um,
00:02:39
Speaker
it it will be God revealing, God's revelation of what happened here on earth that we couldn't see over and over and over. It will be nonstop. So literally that was hope, because for the for those of us asking the question, can our kid know God? Can our autistic kid know God? And is can God speak to our autistic kid when they can't even communicate? All those questions, right? It was almost like and the theological understanding of God is God, yes and He is big, and He is not us. Therefore, that truth hit me like a ton of bricks because it was like if if heaven and God's presence forever for all eternity will be Him revealing, then that means He will reveal... If Graham never is able to communicate with us, if Graham is never able to articulate
00:03:31
Speaker
ah the gospel, as long as as we are faithfully proclaiming the gospel in our home so that He does, He is consuming gospel proclamation, right? Because that, I mean, we the Scripture's clear, we know by hearing, right? And we know by knowing or or or being around ah communication of the gospel,
00:03:52
Speaker
But even so, even if you know those are those out there listening, if ah you're you're questioning like, what if the ones who you know are in a state where they can't comprehend, here's the here's the point, is that it will be one revelation of revelation after revelation of God saying, that's when I revealed myself to him. Yes, absolutely.
00:04:10
Speaker
in 2022 at a ah picnic or in a therapy session or at home on the couch watching TV or whatever, I revealed the truth of my son, Jesus. Graham placed his faith and trust in Christ and God saved him. yeah That's when it happened. But you were faithful to gospel proclamation, so Graham knew... Yes.
00:04:33
Speaker
how he needed, but I was the one, that God was the one that revealed Himself. that's right yes We may never see that that's right yes until on the ah in God's presence, finally, yeah on on not the side of eternity. And so that truth has helped me through a lot of hard days. well in it And not only does it, and i just colloquially, it doesn't get us out of bed. right But what I'm saying, what we're what is but is definitely true is that undergirds all the effort. yeah So whenever you're whenever it is exhausting and tired, which is constant, consistently, and when you feel out of control and you feel burdened, yeah all the things like he is working all things for his glory and are good. right And and all things all things are good. right And we might not know it until the other side of eternity right when he makes all things new. right
00:05:25
Speaker
but he did promise it. And because he's been faithful to keep his promise, we can trust. Right. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Personal Stories and Community Support

00:05:32
Speaker
Another moment, I think it's in the denial episode where I was talking to my friend, Lizzie, I was telling her the story and I thought she already knew this part. I was telling her of the story of the day I called her.
00:05:42
Speaker
and and said, listen, I don't think it's autism, but I just need to talk this out. And that was when she said, oh no, we're going to say it out loud, right? We're going to, you know, it brings freedom, go back and listen to it. But I remember telling her the story about what happened before the phone call.
00:05:56
Speaker
and about how I was completely wrecked by conversation um and things like that. And she on the podcast says, well, Larry, I never knew you went through that before our phone call. So she was even like, you know, maybe I was a little bit too rough on you or too tough on you. And I was like, no, not at all. I needed to hear. So that is a great example of God puts people in our path to help us through different circumstances and trials. So never yeah never doubt that got that God in this assignment, even we talk about like even your address where God has put you to live is not a mistake, right? the God is orchestrating not only our endeavor with raising us up with autism, but He's orchestrated people to come into our lives. i saying And so even though Lizzie didn't know what happened to me, she took that phone call. Yeah.
00:06:41
Speaker
And she spoke into me, right? So never, never doubt that who you accidentally bump arms to at Walmart or at the coffee shop or over Instagram or whatever. Don't ever doubt that God has not placed them in your life for such a time as it is or for a purpose. Yeah, absolutely. I understand. So those are my favorite ones. um Do you have a one that just comes to mind?
00:07:05
Speaker
Well, following that up, I don't know how to... Okay. But know the no, when we had our image of God conversation, for me the most... Well, there's two things. The first one is more macro level or top level. I know when I say this, and we'll have to take a pause for a second, but in all the endeavor since we've launched the nonprofit and the podcast and all the other things,
00:07:31
Speaker
Just thankful, Lord, that I'm not alone. Absolutely. That I have you. that is the that Well, yes, absolutely. I'm i'm glad that we have each other. We've already talked about the God part. I'm talking about you. and I mean that specifically. That we're in this together. right And I don't want know other people to take their marriages for granted, yeah but I'm lucky. Because God does you know marriage, friendship,
00:07:57
Speaker
Like he does provide linking arms with people who yeah can, you know, I just have this image of what it's really all about. Like, because scripture talks about running a race, we talk about that, yeah yeah about how this is a race. But like, if you think about it in the spiritual realm, yes if we're running a race to get to the finish line, then we are beaten and bruised, both persecution from a being a Christian part, from life's trials and circumstances. So if you think about it in the spiritual realm, God has given us people, um God has given us the gift of marriage,
00:08:31
Speaker
Children, yeah um, family members. And it's almost like we're all, if I'm running this race and I am having, I'm getting beaten and bruised along the way, I can make eye contact with you. I can make, you know, uh, uh, my, my best friend can get on eye level with me and go, no, no, no, no, you're not going to give up. iran You keep running this race and I'm going to, you know, yeah i i' you're going to put your arm around my shoulder and where I'm going to carry you through this time. lift arms up and And in a mile, you're going to have to do the same for me. That's right, yes. Right? So we're all running this race, and God is so kindly giving us the community of believers to to run it right with. That's right, yes. And so marriage is a part of that, friendship is a part of that. yeah um So when we are struggling to to get up yeah um and run, yeah He gives us people
00:09:20
Speaker
to to to look us in the eyes, no, no, we're we're gonna get out. We're gonna keep going. and

Podcast Reflections and Advocacy Journey

00:09:25
Speaker
And even going back to the image of God conversation, like that for me personally as a dad, and in a dad of a a ah child who was a boy with autism, and specifically even if it was a daughter, I i doubt that would be any different.
00:09:40
Speaker
But looking at my child, because we've the the Bible verse that He says to us and recites every night is Psalm 139. I will praise Him, for I am fearfully wonderfully madeen right and We intentionally use that part of the verse to make sure that one day, whenever the Lord clicks it in, whatever wherever He knows it, He knows He is created. He's not broken, right? That He is loved and that there's a Savior for His sin. like that That understanding is really, really kind of um springboarded a lot of, I know for me as as as a dad. yeah
00:10:19
Speaker
That was, that was a, that was kind of our first one. That was close to our beginning, but it's really kind of been the catalyst for a lot. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't make you cry. You did. Did I? I teared up. Oh, that's good. I know. I tried. I tried to catch her on camera, everybody. yeah It didn't work. Well, looking back just because this is our first podcast, right? um And it's been a growing year. Oh yeah. um I mean,
00:10:46
Speaker
Yeah, and so ah launched Raising Autistic disciples on Instagram, and the Lord has blessed that, and I still don't know what I'm doing, but hey, it's just one day at a time, but it's been such a joy to connect with people. But with that, you connect with all sorts of different people from all different walks of life, all different ages, and I'm so grateful because I needed i needed women and dads too, i mean and and men a few steps ahead of me.
00:11:12
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. um There's been a lot that are behind a few steps behind us saying, hey, can you, you know, ah what do you have to offer here kind of thing? But I will say in any type of thing like this, starting a podcast or autism journey in general, just like we talked about in education advocacy, it's a learning process. um Looking back, especially over the first few episodes,
00:11:36
Speaker
Um, I do have some things that I've learned and I do, um, I mean, regret is a strong word, but, um, I do think maybe, maybe instead of regret, it's more like I've, I've changed my thinking. Are you, well, it's, uh, it's like, I mean, I think as we continue to grow, it's like things that we thought as a kid,
00:12:01
Speaker
Yeah. That we then grew up to understand what they meant. Yeah. and we're We're just growing. Yeah, sure. And okay, so before I tell you the the one part that I do, like I have changed on, I'm just gonna kind of, this is Lara talking a little bit of her frustration in the sense of, man, the spectrum is wide. It is, absolutely. And it's real hard to talk about autism.
00:12:23
Speaker
And you can't, there is no way, there is no way you can talk about autism and touch once. And I know there's, geez, it changes all the time or that's what our our friends who are in the professional realm just say, you know, once it was a linear spectrum, now it's a circle, you know, things are changing. But what I'm just saying is you,
00:12:42
Speaker
you talk about one area of autism and then you've got a whole long other side that can see it this way, you've got this side who can see it this way. So you're never gonna be able to, all I can offer is encouragement. So that is a little bit frustrating, I'm not gonna lie, yeah is when we talk it, it's like, okay, well, let me say a pause here. Our son is what we've been told is right in the middle.
00:13:01
Speaker
Right. Actually, his teacher has said he is the poster child for autism, meaning like he checks all the boxes when it comes to like how he thinks, how he navigates, how he, the communication aspect. And and we think that's wonderful. Like, you know, we, uh, you know, yeah yeah. So let's get it.
00:13:19
Speaker
Yeah, anyway, and so ah so he doesn't land on one side or the other being right in the kind of middle, I mean, ah things like that. ah If just terminology wise, because we need to have grace on one another, from what I, you know, if you say severe autism to high functioning autism or low needs, high needs, whatever um kind of thing is is he does. I mean, he's not severe, but he's not high functioning, right? And so we can't, we, we we you know, land in the middle, but it's been frustrating to launch something or launch a thought or an idea or a can sometimes even a conviction. yeah yeah And then you've got so many sides of the different thing, but that's the beauty of it too, I guess. So that we all realize, okay, there are other people who don't think autism is a gift. right yes That's my one regret saying in like the first two episodes. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. because I no longer believe, and okay, I no longer state that. But a lot of it's empathy because what I think I meant when I said autism is a gift is that um it's I'm grateful that Graham is ours and I was able to see that people are different and it's beautiful. Right. ah and and ah And obviously before you,
00:14:34
Speaker
yeah It's a gift in the sense that the sanctification that it brings. Yeah. Cause I would not have known that I needed, I needed more, even if I needed patients, I needed more help with patients. Cause our first daughter had a little us to sleep. We just like, she was, you know, uh, but, but I think just sensitivity, sensitivity wise.
00:14:53
Speaker
saying autism is a gift can really upset a lot of people who are on one side of the spectrum, and rightfully so. um And so I think it's just learning and being being sensitive, ah empathetic, um and also just knowing you know the spectrum is wide.

Future Podcast Plans and Listener Engagement

00:15:11
Speaker
yeah yeah um Not everybody's gonna experience the same thing you experienced. Not everybody is going to start a 5K and be gung-ho in this autism advocacy endeavor because some people don't want their child to have autism. Right, yes. And, and you know, like, it's just one of those things where we were learning. And so that's one thing I learned now. So that's kind of a, ah hey, let me take that back type of thing. Or like, i I wish I would have said it different. Here's what I, I think I wish we would have maybe pressed a little bit more because I think we, maybe it was left incomplete is the, um, in the, the grief and acceptance stage.
00:15:46
Speaker
I don't know if I touched on, like I should have, that people are struggling with either being told or themselves saying, I'm not going to align with it. I'm not going to accept this i ah autismic diagnosis. So I think we went good on the grief aspect of grief is a stage. You do grieve what your life is going to be like and what you thought it would be. But the acceptance part of it of, I don't accept this diagnosis. What do you do with that? That's right. Yeah. So we may do like ah there an episode that's specifically on, hey, I've been told don't accept it, or I don't accept, you know, kind of thing. But I kind of wish we may have dove deeper on that aspect. But new again, we saw the future. it We still got time. Yep. So what's next for us on Raising Autistic disciples? And the
00:16:37
Speaker
When it comes to the podcast specifically, I think there's, there's two areas that are like revealing itself in our life that I think are, I'm sure you'll touch on one, one specifically for me that is not only becoming a passion and is a passion is, is just families that are disconnected from discipleship. Yeah.
00:16:58
Speaker
because the the church at large, not specific churches, not anything, but the church at large is still wildly undersourced when it comes to having places that are um accepting.
00:17:13
Speaker
overtly right of autistic children, right? And so I know for me personally, the idea and the opportunity to speak to a pastor who is not currently conducting a special needs ministry at at this church, a smaller church, and then talking about the the fear and trebidation and some of the things that come along with starting a special needs ministry of any sort.
00:17:37
Speaker
and not even specific around autism, but just in general, but even specific as it comes to autistic children. Where are the fears? Like, let's break down the wall of hostility between, as it says in Ephesians, between what our fears are and the joy that exists in that ministry. So right that's that's something I'm looking forward to yeah for sure. Absolutely. So moving forward, you know, I think any family listening that's raising an autistic child and you have ah you have a rhythm, you have a routine, right? This is why it's taken us a complete year to wrap the season up is because we haven't found like a rhythm for you and I to sit down and do podcasts because who, you know, you know the time is limited and and and crazy. And so what we're going to do is we're not going to box ou ourselves into seasons any, you know, going forward. We're just going to kind of just record episodes. And so I'm looking forward to that. yeah So just like, you you know, some, some episodes from questions that are coming in, like, will there be autism in heaven? ah
00:18:31
Speaker
ah What's the other one? We're going to do one on healing and and that. Also, I'm looking forward to, we're going to do some with like our friends. Yes, 100%. Just to kind of get an aspect of what it's like to learn autism because they care. Yes, absolutely. Another one is ah one of our dear, dear friends who is Graham's one-on-one. Her name is Finley. I want her to tell listeners in our audience, like how to develop, how to train, how to educate, whatever someone who wants to care for your family and be a one-on-one, how do you how do you help them integrate them into your life? that's right So she's going to explain that, which I'm excited about. And so yeah, just in future episodes, we're just kind of going to go, you know what, we get this question a lot or let's talk about this issue or we're dealing with this, yeah you know, just real life stuff. So we're excited for future episodes. I'm really excited though, um, about hoping that you can cut out this lawnmower that's in the back when every time we go to record somebody in our neighborhood decides to do long care. It just proves that we're in real life. We are in real life. I've got noise filters, all sorts of things. It'll cut it on out. good deal all right Well, hey, we're gonna wrap up season one. um Know this. If you're listening out there, we believe that God knows who you are. And so we are praying for you. Although we don't know your name, we're grateful that you're listening. We're grateful that you um are just ah consuming. how do How do I say this rightly? Consuming, and we're not saying we're a perfect podcast, but but consuming audio content, video content,
00:19:59
Speaker
where you're you're searching for discipleship yes resources among your autism um journey with your child. um We're not perfect, but we're gonna try to point you in the direction of the gospel. And in these five stages, the point was to to mark them, to know them, and then to step out of them. Not saying it's not a band-aid and that sometimes it gets ripped off, but yeah knowing that the Lord is going to use those to draw you to dependence on Him. Yeah, absolutely. because there's a There's an old hymn that we all sing that is, uh, if you're a believer and you've been in church for any period of time, there's a second verse in a song that says, here I raised my Ebenezer, heather by the help I come. And in this, in this episode and then other ones that we'll do, that's what I, that's what I pray that we all, we all do. These are these five stages. These are our Ebenezer raising it or marking it. right This is where, this is where the Lord has been faithful. that's right And this is where his help came. That's right. That Ebenezer is, is if you go in Joshua, that is Joshua 3 and 4, I think. So, told them, hey, we're going to cross the Jordan River, yeah you know, but we but we know that we're flesh. We know that we are prone to forget. yes So, go get some rocks and we're going to build, we're going to construct an Ebenezer so that when we pass by on this road, we remember that that
00:21:18
Speaker
that Ebenezer, that memorial stone, is what scripture calls a memorial, is to remember what God has done in the past. And that is what we do. We look at the five stages and go, you know what? I do remember in 2020 when we were going through denial, but God brought us out of that. And now we are on a path of dependence upon Him. And I'm going to remember it because I know I'm prone to forget. So, yeah.
00:21:39
Speaker
that's that's That's what we do. And we're praying for you as you do that. of Connect with us on Instagram, Raising Autistic five. Air high five.