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Holiday Anxiety
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In this episode of Raising Autistic Disciples, we will share practical insights for navigating holiday anxiety that often affects autistic children and their families. The holiday season can bring a whirlwind of sensory overload, unexpected changes, and social pressures. We’ll discuss effective strategies for preparing your child (and yourself!) for these challenges, with tips on maintaining peace, setting gentle boundaries, and keeping Christ at the center of your celebrations. Together, let’s create a holiday season that honors both your child’s unique needs and the joyful meaning of this time of year.
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Transcript
Introduction to Holiday Anxiety for Parents of Special Needs Children
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to the Raising Autistic Disciples podcast.
Impact of Holiday Anxiety on Families with Autistic Children
00:00:08
Speaker
My name is Lara and I am here with my husband, Colin, and today we're going to talk about holiday anxiety, how to navigate the emotions and the craziness of the holidays while parenting a kid with special needs. And so we're diving into that topic. It touches every single family, but often weighs especially heavy on us who are raising autistic children. um And so that holiday anxiety, that kind of creeps up as much as we want the holidays to be a time of joy and togetherness.
00:00:40
Speaker
often we've experienced that it can bring on stress, overstimulation, anxiety for both us as parents and our kids, right?
Balancing Podcasting and Parenting
00:00:49
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I think before we get started, it's helpful in this moment to describe what he remains right now.
00:00:55
Speaker
And speaking of overstimulation, what are we where are we doing this currently? Oh, well, currently we're we're actually on the interstate driving because we are very transparent people. Absolutely. And by being very transparent people, we need to tell our listeners, you know you may be driving at this absolute moment, listening to us talk while driving. I mean, Colin's hands are on the wheel, right? And it's pretty slow traffic right now.
00:01:24
Speaker
But if you do hear a, you know, if you're, if you're a a wife, you you probably have done the whole, you know, hands flailing up in the screeching or the invisible brake pedal. So if you try to have those out of it happens. Yeah. If you do hear any of that, I apologize. And i you're such a great driver that usually never happens. Yeah.
00:01:46
Speaker
But, you know what? I think for our friend listening, she or he is going to understand that we don't have, were we're trying to we're trying to nail down a rhythm to record podcasts because they're not only beneficial for us together, there we've said it before, it's actually like therapy for us, but also, you know what?
00:02:06
Speaker
our time with our three kids and all the other things is very limited. So if we have time in the car, why not? Why not? Let's go for it. That's right. That's honestly where we have all of our other conversations. Absolutely. Good, bad, or indifferent, right? Yeah, very, very true. We're going to try to keep this one simple. We'll keep this one at level four. fuck
Journey with an Autistic Child
00:02:27
Speaker
All right. So talking about holiday anxiety, Collin.
00:02:31
Speaker
So like if you've listened to any of the podcasts previously, you know that we have an autistic son. His name is Graham. At the time of this recording, he is eight years old. um Got a diagnosis when he was three, three-ish. And so we've been on this journey. I can't do math. what That's... A little over five years. Five years. So for five years or so, and I wouldn't even count the first two years, I think the first two years were maybe if I would classify the worst holiday anxiety because we didn't know what we're doing, but I wouldn't count them in like, like, um, we were, we were still like stepping into this whole autism diagnosis. He didn't get diagnosed until he was almost four. Um, and so really the last, I would say three years, have we been like, okay, well I think we're finding something and each year gets better and better, but still. Oh yeah.
00:03:21
Speaker
But still, even as we progress in language, communication, emotions, behaviors, things like that, i i like it's October. i I already feel holiday anxiety.
Adapting Holiday Expectations for Autistic Children
00:03:33
Speaker
Well, and especially for our our kid, one thing that we were not ah we haven't prepared for and that nobody ever told us is we've we've been preaching to ourselves and to each other and other families like rhythms, rhythms, rhythms, communicate, visual schedule, make sure you communicate, right? Yeah.
00:03:52
Speaker
And the communicating has been great. What I was not prepared for in this particular holiday season is that a Christmas started a month ago. Yeah. And when you tell our, our autistic kiddo that it's in 90 days, yeah then he starts negotiating time. Like you can change it.
00:04:09
Speaker
i it was like a It was like a movie. I was so close to grabbing the Amazon store guide magazine thing from the mailbox, but he got to it seconds before I was able to confiscate it. And Amazon, you just got to know. Amazon.
00:04:28
Speaker
We love you. We do. We are consumers. You're a big fan for a mama who doesn't have to go to the store. The Christmas toy guide. But the Christmas toy guide for an autistic kid and for their families.
00:04:42
Speaker
I've tried to hide it. It, he brings it to school with him. He brings it, you know, to other things. And honestly, okay, we're joking. It has been, you know, a good sensory, like he, it's because he gets to look through it and things like, so like it has, it's, it's good and bad, but, but seriously, like he could probably, he probably has the whole thing memorized. Um,
00:05:08
Speaker
and podcasts and, you know, new normals and and rhythms that every year when it comes to, you know, travel plans, when it comes to what we're, what our thoughts are on like how we do trick or treat or Christmas, Thanksgiving, like all the holidays, when before we had kids and even before we had Graham specifically,
00:05:33
Speaker
it was, we were more of flexible yeah and fluid. Very flexible. And so the the first thing that we have to, we have to, every year we just have to pray and lay down as our expectations and knowing that what we what we thought was going to be,
00:05:51
Speaker
Our perfect idea of vacationing and perfect idea of holidays has been, like the Lord has seen it fit that it's different.
Managing Family Traditions and Expectations
00:05:58
Speaker
It's definitely not bad, but it definitely has eliminated any expectations that we had, and now we have to amend, right? And if I'm honest, it's that has been the toughest for me. Oh yeah, absolutely. Because I already, in other parts of life, expectations are but i I do believe my sanctification and what the Lord teaches me, you know, if there's a recurring thing, it's it's my expectations. and now And I mean, the autism journey has, that's gone out the window in so many different areas. And I know, you know, I think in the second or third episode we talk about is dying the death of what you thought life would be like, right? And so, but when it comes to holidays, that's hard. Like, because you you married into a family who loves Christmas. Yes. Absolutely loves Christmas. And so very specific very traditions, like art my family, like I love every single thing that I grew up doing when it came to
00:06:57
Speaker
the days of the week of Christmas, how we how we brought in and learned about our faith and our love for Jesus and what happened at Christmas time, like all the different things that I grew up in and was so looking forward to implementing into our family. And still, let like let me take a timeout and still do. we'll We'll talk about how those things look now. But it was at first, as we were entering into, and especially that first Christmas of where um I think it was right before he was diagnosed, maybe right after.
00:07:28
Speaker
that we still tried to do all those, including traveling, including all the rhythms and things. And it just like, it it wasn't that it was it wasn't that it was horrible for him. It was that I wanted to put him in my yeah expectations. I wanted him to adapt to my expectations of what my holiday wanted to be like. And as we know, as parents raising autistic kids,
00:07:54
Speaker
like the assignment that the Lord has given us to raise them to know and love God forever. it's different, like it like you said, I have to lay down and i have to I have to die the death of what I thought life would be like. And that is, ah and I know if some of you haven't heard us say that before, it kind of is jarring at first, die the death of what you thought life would be like, but you really are. You having to grieve that, um yeah you can't do things that either you you did previously or that you see other families doing. And it's it's a it's a grieving stage, especially around the holidays.
00:08:29
Speaker
because it doesn't just involve, let's just use Christmas, for example, it doesn't just involve the you know waking up, presents, the traditional American way that we do Christmas, specifically, even when it comes to trick-or-treating, when it comes to- You say trick-or-treating one more time, the peoples of the internet on Raising Autistic Disciples Instagram, they're gonna come after me. Oh, crap, what am I supposed to say?
00:08:57
Speaker
I'm just telling you. Happy Reformation Day. Hey, sorry.
00:09:04
Speaker
I didn't know that was a sad decision. If you're a Christian on Instagram right now and you say the word Halloween, you're going to get destroyed. And listen, just, just like I said, we're transparent people, right? We're driving right now while, fall while recording a podcast, um, safely, but still like.
00:09:23
Speaker
Can I just put something out there as we take a timeout on what we were talking about? We're all on the same team here. You may not believe in dressing up your kids in a costume and going, you know, around to your neighbor's house. And that's fine. You know, I think we can all get a little bit trapped in And we all come from different traditions, but the gospel is our banner. And I'm just saying, if there is one day out of the year that our neighbors come to us, that we are able to offer them a smile and kindness and praise God, that one day heaven will be filled with more and more worshipers because they landed at our doorstep and we were able to share the gospel
Holidays as Opportunities for Faith and Tradition
00:10:00
Speaker
with them. So- I mean, anytime we get Samaritan and layer layer it with Halloween, like, listen, there's hurting lost people that are going to come to your door looking for candy. Absolutely. Talk to them about the Lord. But I actually have not discussed that with you. So after this podcast, we may talk about how all the, I say all, no, it was very encouraging, but I got a few DMs that were like, you're participating in a pagan holiday and you're just trying to justify yourself.
00:10:25
Speaker
Yeah, we just voted too. That's also a pagan ritual for democracy. so let's Yeah, let's just leave that for another. I think voting is absolutely necessary, but also any chance you get to share the gospel with your neighbors and the people that you live around, your address isn't an accident. That's right. So don't ah we don't need to rest on our yeah But again, listen, we I think there comes a point in time where we've got to understand each other and have grace within ah one another. We're linking arms with one another, and we may not agree with everything that we do, but the gospel is our banner, is right? right and And we want to know and love God forever, and we want our children to know and love God forever. No, that does not mean that I'm going to put them in a situation where they were they're around demonic activity. No. yeah
00:11:11
Speaker
You know, but again, the sex curse is short. We're getting off topic. We did, we just yeah stop but it's just because it happened yesterday. So a hundred percent. Um, but again, yeah, we're going to agree on and everything, but, but just when it comes to diamond, that's also the reason that's all the reason to why you get passionate about things that, that are, that become your own family rhythms. You protect them like a,
00:11:37
Speaker
like dearly. Yeah. Because even though our rhythms are different than what we thought they would be, they're beautiful. Yeah. that That's what I'm saying. Like it, it once you're able to It goes back to the whole like um understanding the diagnosis, understanding what the Lord has now called you to, and understanding that it's not it's just that He sees and navigates the world differently. So we adapt, and then we take what we have done as traditions, and we adapt them to how... I'll give you a great example. yeah like We don't require him to sit down at Thanksgiving dinner.
00:12:15
Speaker
Yeah, of course like that to some families that is like respect and I get that and I understand but if you are parenting a child with autism and Sitting down is just not in the cards, right? Well, I'm not gonna fight that right. I'm gonna sit down with my family I'm gonna have conversations But if Graham wants to get up go to his room play with the toy for a few minutes come back and sit down Is that the worst thing that could happen that day? No, the worst thing is that he throws the china plate that's ant, you know whatever her name is, ant flow. gosh Okay. Let's start that over. We'll edit that out. Uh, and I do have an ant flow, so it's, I know. And she, okay. Yeah. She just, um, okay. So why i're not going to edit that out? That's just, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't, uh, she's in, she's with Jesus. So that's a happy thing. Okay. So anyway, so, I mean, he could, he could throw the China plate across the room and yeah bust in a million pieces. Right. So like, anyway,
00:13:15
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. So let's, let's, we talk about this
Modifying Christmas Traditions for Special Needs
00:13:18
Speaker
a lot about, uh, we use this for other contexts, but we'll use it for now about redeeming opportunities. Yeah. So let's, let's put this in the practice. I'm going to ask you a question. Okay. So what has been an expectation you used to have that has now been redeemed and that our new rhythm is become something that you cherish? Well, that's a great question. Um,
00:13:41
Speaker
I love, so where we live um is, it's around Christmas Town, USA. And I absolutely love our Sunday evening rhythms. In December, for sure. yeah In December. So every Sunday evening in December,
00:13:57
Speaker
Um, they know after nap, um, we usually eat supper before we all make hot chocolate. So I make hot chocolate in our kitchen and then we put them in to go cups, get on pajamas and we go in the car and we drive around Christmas town, USA, um, for an entire hour because it's a popular thing. no yeah We just sit in the car because we exist well in the car together. And that's why, like we just said, this is the time where we get to talk the most. um And so we we load them in and we just look at lights and we have gospel conversations. So I, like, but but that is a perfect example of autistic rhythms, yeah routines, yes right? So like, it takes nothing, it costs nothing, but he knows it's a rhythm in December that happens every day after we go to church and after he takes a nap, that's what's going to happen.
00:14:46
Speaker
And it's, and it's such a, especially for the way our, our weeks kind of, how do I say this, after how are our weeks usually end up in just the state of tiredness? It's just a, it's a great opportunity.
00:15:02
Speaker
where I think we talked about but where you just don't have to think. No. And we can look at lights. We can put on music. We can. We don't have to make a social story for you. Just, we just go. I mean, it would be, it probably would be helpful if we did, but he's, he knows it now, you know, to know enough, but like, it's just something you don't have to spend a lot of capacity and energy on thinking about how to do it. Yeah. And even like in the,
00:15:28
Speaker
If anybody, there has there been a Christmas town, USA, or another place where there's a bunch of lights, you know, we're still driving down the middle of the road, watching other families that get to walk around and interact. And other hands and you know and and that's, it's for us, it's a perfect picture of what we're talking about is that we, in our life, we wanted to be that family that could just park and go walk and then just do all the things.
00:15:52
Speaker
But for our family, it's just as it's just as redeeming and just as much fun and just as valuable you know spiritually and emotionally for our family. to just be the family that just drives through right and looks at lights. So we're not missing anything. right And so the expectations kind of, so oftentimes what I what i would i would say for us is pretty clear is oftentimes expectations kind of cloud or sanctification because we we want we want what we want, but we don't want to be molded into what we should be. yeah So the Lord has given us something and we're stewarding our kids.
00:16:31
Speaker
And sometimes that just means that we don't we don't force things into existence that don't need to be there. And you know, I think that's where ah if you're single and and parenting, if you're you know married and parenting, no matter what, find a person that can help you see what you can't see. Like if your steak is in the ground so hard and you're not moving, like we've got to do this, and it just is not working out, I hope, and you've been that for me, just with holiday expectations and traditions and things like, okay, this just may not work for our family dynamic right now, or we may just need to lay it down in general, but that's been very helpful to, because I mean, what Let's be honest, when it comes to the holidays, there's some some grounded and rooted traditions that, like I said before, and so you've been able to help me go, you know what, I love that, but it's
Letting Go of Rigid Expectations
00:17:17
Speaker
just not, like our Christmas morning is not gonna look like the Hallmark movies. Right, and you're gonna talk about this in a future episode, but but holidays are have an extra layer dynamic because it's not just y'all, it's not just our family. Is it oftentimes
00:17:36
Speaker
Not oftentimes, pretty much all the time, you have to integrate family right into the your extended family, into the situation. And right and more you starting that when you start encroaching on other people's rhythms, it gets, right well just like time like so yeah. yet We're going to talk about ah how to prep your family for your family. yeah Yeah. You know, so that'll be interesting. But, but again, that's a part of the holiday anxiety, right? Like anxiety of feeling, okay, how do we now talk about, okay, this is what we're going to do. This is how, but, and here's the other part, and I'm going to get a little bit into next episode, but like, it changes year by year. It does. And that's hard when it comes to traditions that are already set. Like Graham is older. Now he thinks differently than he did last year. And it's just, and then you, you bring in food and all that. And it's just hard anyway, we'll take that. But that's also part of the anxiety that comes up that you have to manage. Okay. You know what? Like again,
00:18:30
Speaker
ah You know your child, you know your family, you cannot, how do I say this correctly? You cannot let other people's expectations yeah interfere with how you know you need to navigate your family dynamic and not let that anxiety take over your heart, and mind, and soul so that so that I think I would hope any family would that are gospel centered would remind you what the main thing is the main thing, oh yeah right?
00:18:59
Speaker
keep the main thing the main thing. When you see other people's perfect moments of family pictures on Instagram. Oh, let's not even talk about Christmas pictures or anything that is anything that would be especially our social media age just the it yeah You're just not going to be that family. Our favorite picture in our house is taking family photos, and everyone except our daughter is just in a state of chaos. Our daughter is glamorous, and the other four of us are like, ah are the boys' hands are up in the air, Graham's like screaming. But can i just that's a great example. i I said I didn't want to talk about Christmas pictures. Yeah, but that is a fantastic example of like we've got to do this because every other family does this and we've got to send out a card Well, you know what if this encourages anybody and listen, I am the I am I'm the one this was one of the things I was talking about before that you helped me with we sent out the Horrible and it's not horrible. It's actually hilarious. We sent out the worst Christmas picture ever last year Oh, yeah, because it was funny and it was like we're tired of hiding and faking it. Yeah And I'm retired of like, we may have got one good one and praise God. It's just, it's what I call the miracle picture. And the photographer just snaps it at just the right God ordained time and the entire millisecond, right? But otherwise all other 50 of them are us flailing and us saying, no, sit down. And we're just tired of it last year. we We're like, you know what? We're going to send out this because everybody, you know, knows us can appreciate that. Yes.
00:20:32
Speaker
We, that's us. That's us. Absolutely. And there's nothing wrong with it. Right. So if you're listening and you're about to schedule your Christmas pictures, this is one area where you can lay down and be like, you know what? I love my family. Yes. And just take a picture. and say you wait whisperper It's a, it's, it goes back to Joshua Christmas pictures or a Memorial stone that you can raise my Ebenezer for sure. you can hang up in your house and go, that was Christmas 2024, and it was a show. And we still love each other. And we still good came out of it. But anyway, it is. It's it's a it's a memorial stone. And listen, ah we have our Christmas pictures hanging up in our our living room going back to, you know, four or five years ago, and it really is a reminder of it is the Lord's faithfulness as the years go by. ah But I will tell you,
00:21:23
Speaker
Uh, if I have coffee with somebody who just got a, uh, with ah another mom who just got a diagnosis and they asked me, what is your top three dead, like dreaded things that you do? Yeah. Christmas pictures is at the top of the line. Like, but it's not for the rest of it's only for you. I know that's again, I have a problem with expectations. saying that to bit But it's ah it's ah a, it's a, it's a rhythm.
Creative Gift-Giving for Autistic Children
00:21:46
Speaker
our family, we we went to, was it Sears or wherever we went every now and then and got the picture done. But it was but first from the past. Yeah. For me personally, like my, I grew up in a family where our rhythms were fairly like fluid. There weren't other than just like the the standard, like eating with family and being around family. We didn't We didn't hold those things super, super, super close. You know what I mean? Yeah. Thanksgiving was pretty tight, but the rest of it was pretty fluid. Yeah. And it was the blast. It was enjoyable. So I, I just didn't bring in me personally. I just didn't bring any expectations to the table. Speaking of fluid.
00:22:25
Speaker
So, I've been talking to several friends and um kind of using Instagram as a poll and research kind of thing, kind of thinking and praying on doing Christmas a little bit different this year when it comes to like rhythms of, you know, gifts and things like that with Graham. Though our Christmas mornings, I don't know about you friend listening, but our Christmas mornings haven't been haven't been bad, but I've noticed that his anxiety for the next few days is just through the roof. And so I'm wondering if I've gotten a few ideas, but I'm not sure which one we'll land on, but um like if we do one gift a week, if we do the whole 12 days of Christmas type of scenario, but like how can we help him
00:23:09
Speaker
and But also, again, I know there's always something else. it's its You got the siblings, and we want them to have a Christmas experience. Anyway, yeah but like how can we help um Graham and ah just his his way of you know anxiety with him surrounding gift-giving and expectations? Because he does have expectations, because you know kind of thing. um And how can we help him in that way, maybe not do them all at once,
00:23:38
Speaker
and I'm just trying to 100%. Well, and and especially it's, it's hard because even, even for us, we can't control like what his teachers do. We can't control what other people say. So a lot of that, like for the last two years, when it's come to Christmas or a specific holidays, even around his birthday and other things that he's becoming more aware of.
00:23:59
Speaker
it It usually happens because it comes out in natural conversation in rooms we're not a part of, right? Ultimately,
00:24:09
Speaker
ultimately if I had my druthers and i had my I had my way, we could just move to an island where Christmas it does christmas so christmas is just about Jesus. yeah well But at the, but when we're existing in culture, we just got to understand like, yeah, there's a, and we could try something this year and it that may not work. And then we do it again next year, like we're in and, or do something different. And that's, I think that's just the part of it is that we're from a graciousness standpoint, we're.
00:24:39
Speaker
Let's try what we think is helpful and necessary and then God or God exalting and then right. Well, ah I will say going, but if I could offer a tip or a piece of advice now.
00:24:52
Speaker
I have friends who have sweet little autistic girls, and I love you know i love getting to hear their ah little nuggets of things. So this may not ah this may not be a piece of advice for those of you who are raising girls, or it may be. I don't know because I don't have a girl, but for Graham's sake, the best gift that we gave him last year was a toolbox. yes and that toolbox had wheels on it because he before that we just noticed you know he would pack up all his toys in a box or in a bag or or you know go back and forth from the from his room to our back deck to line them up on the patio and so we're like you know what we'll just get him a toolbox and that yeah again toolbox had wheels on it he could carry a transport best gift ever yeah so it doesn't have to be like yeah well like we i don't know if this will resonate with anybody else but
00:25:40
Speaker
We were like, okay, if it has more than three pieces, we're going to XNA it from the yeah the list. Like we don't need any more pieces from the toolbox last year. Is that then you have to to really decide if the toolbox has detachable parts. Very true. Because then for them, because he's going to use it so much. He they just, he just kept taking the toolbox apart. So, so we had to keep.
00:26:02
Speaker
you know, duct taping the the levers together. Anyway, so maybe this year because get that toolbox is deceased, we had to throw it away because it got so much use. So maybe this this next go around, we we am a real
Addressing Holiday Anxiety through Faith
00:26:16
Speaker
one. We go up a level and get like, you know, the steel kind, yes the indestructible kind. Anyway, just a thought like it doesn't gift giving doesn't have to be hard when it comes to autistic kids. Ours just love something to put all the stuff in. Yep.
00:26:30
Speaker
And so, you know, as we round out this episode, Collin, like, spiritually speaking, when it comes to being parents, raising autistic kids and anxiety, um I don't know if I've, I haven't yet told kind of a story yet on the podcast or on Instagram, really, but I'm medically speaking in my life, I've never struggled with anything. I mean, um you know, we had, it Addie Kay was in the NICU,
00:26:57
Speaker
um has a really scary emergency C-section with her. But other than that, I haven't really had anything I've i've struggled with physically until um Graham was, Levi was a baby, so Graham was one and a half, and he ah was darting toward a really busy road. yeah And um I caught his shirt tail at the very moment to where he almost stepped out into the road. right And at that moment, i I believe, because I never struggled with anxiety before, that is when the moment that I had panic had started having panic attacks frequently. Now, they've gotten better, and I haven't had one in a really long time. but
00:27:39
Speaker
I don't, one of the things I don't think we talk about a lot is trauma when it comes to parents raising special needs kids. And that is for another episode and it will be for another episode. Um, but, but like, that's when my anxiety started and it just like, can you, can you help like talk about like anxiety when it comes to how we should navigate that in our relationship with the Lord? Yeah. Well, I mean,
00:28:06
Speaker
And then this, well, I don't know if this is a, I don't know if this is the right statement. So that's, we're having a conversation, right? yeah But ah the easiest thing for most people to do is to pull out, you know, the verse of scripture. Don't, don't be anxious over anything. Um,
00:28:26
Speaker
And we're somehow relating the anxiety that we feel as parents as to a lack of trust and fear of our situations ah of the Lord, right? And all those kind of things sometimes. And I know in that particular situation, it was onset by experience, like something that happened. And then a mentally and emotionally, right? It was, yeah it it created a, they were created a moment where it just, you were overtaken by the, what could have happened. yeah And then.
00:28:56
Speaker
And so I think in those situations, it's, it's the systematic understanding that you're going to have to walk through what you're feeling. Right. Because it's, it's, it's natural because I think all of us are, especially with, with kiddos that, that have, um, they see the, the world that we live in differently. It's just natural for us to be in situations where we're just, we have to feel like we're constantly on guard constantly. And.
00:29:24
Speaker
wait and see mode. We're just, we're always on all the time, right? Yeah. And so when we're walking through the anxiety, like I don't, Graham almost running out in the street may look different for other families and other parents, but we've all had that opportunity in that moment. And then like, like for someone like me who like, I don't get, I don't get too over my, over the skis about things. Doesn't mean I don't get scared and anxious about stuff, but it's easy for people like me.
00:29:52
Speaker
to disregard the anxious feelings and just kind of slough them off as a lack of trust in the Lord, right? And not walk, not walk through those together. Yeah. And so, so I think that's imperative. So how can we do that when it comes to, we're about to we're about to head into a holiday season where there's lots of things. lots some Some families will travel, some families will not. Some some families will feel FOMO, right? of Like, man, we can't do that because of our family dynamic. How do we navigate that anxiety? And and you know scripture talks about taking every thought captive and also just relinquishing that to the Lord and that His plans are good for us. How do we navigate that anxiety?
00:30:39
Speaker
Well, and you mentioned it, you mentioned it earlier, kind of in passing, but, um, we had a, we have a dear friend that we used to, one of our rhythms that got upset pretty quickly was just going to birthday parties. Yeah. birthday yeah And, they were, because Graham thinks every toy is his toy. h Yeah. Birthday parties are, but we have a dear friend that even for you,
00:31:04
Speaker
just let you off the hook. And they said, like, he he doesn't he doesn't know what it is. He doesn't have to be there. yeah He's not missing anything. right So I think if there's one, if you're if you're married, first of all, it's maybe your spouse, it'd be each other. But on on top of all the spiritual things that we could say, you know obviously trust the Lord and live, like all the things that we've, I think from a pragmatic standpoint, you need to give someone permission to speak into that moment when it happens. right So whether if you're single, whether it's a dear friend or a or a parent or someone who's close to you that you know is godly, that's not going to badger you, but also you got to give someone permission to say, hey, listen, you're you're you're in your head. yeah And this is this is an expectation that you got to let yeah let go. yeah Someone that will pray with you, someone that will walk you through it. If it's your spouse,
00:31:58
Speaker
making sure that there is clear permission yeah in those moments. And if you're the spouse, that has to be the one to like call that stuff into into being. You just got to ride the wave. suit of suar but It's not always going to be received.
00:32:15
Speaker
mean it's You know, like our like our house is not going to be immaculate. It's not going to be decorated to the the inch degree of yeah of a a southern maxi, because he will destroy everything. And like and and listen, where we can it's our son. We know him. So, like, we know he's going to destroy everything. But it you do have to mourn that a little bit, but you need somebody to tell you, you know what?
00:32:38
Speaker
put up some stuff, but don't don't... It's one of those things where I'm teaching Bible study. We're going through James right now. It's detaching our affections on this earth and attaching them to eternity. And so, like, my house may not be decked to the hills of Christmas decorations because I know that if I spend money on something, I don't want it, you know.
00:32:55
Speaker
more down or destroyed. But I do want him to know the truth of the gospel and that Jesus came as a baby, as an infant, um by the power of the Holy Spirit, lived, died, and rose again. like That's what I attach my affections to so that he knows not the Christmas decorations in my home, right? So, like, detaching our affections for this earth and for the things that are fleeting and moth and dust of of stuff around the holidays and attaching them to eternity of
Conclusion and Encouragement for Listeners
00:33:26
Speaker
what matters most. And it matters at Thanksgiving. Thank you, God, for salvation. Thank you for your Son, Jesus. Thank you for life and breath. Thank you for our family. At Christmas, it's thank you for coming, Jesus. Thank you. You know, so, yeah.
00:33:38
Speaker
not so So, what we would encourage those listening is, just remember, as we step into the holiday season, we need to detach our affections and our attachment to things that are fleeting and ah surrounding the holidays. and so And even so, our dying the death of what we thought life would be like, detaching that and attaching our affections to know and love God forever and teaching our autistic children to know and love God forever the same.
00:34:05
Speaker
so We just pulled up to the coffee shop and we didn't wreck. We didn't. We drove all the way and recorded this podcast. Hey, thank you for listening. This has been the episode talking about holiday anxiety. Know that, you know what, we may not know your name of who's listening, but we are praying for you because we know the Lord knows it as you enter the holiday season and that if you have anxiety rising in your heart, that you would relinquish that to the Lord. But we are praying for you. And hey, we're in this together.