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Goat Crashers
115 Plays2 years ago
Luke, Issac and Jessie Play through the ttrpg Goat Crashers GMed (Goat Master) by Davita. The setting is Middle Earth and the time is a certain hobbits birthday.
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Transcript
Introduction to Meta Games
00:00:10
Speaker
Hey everyone! Welcome back to Rolling Cross the Pond. I'm using wireless headphones, so I feel really out of place. But welcome to the Meta Games, where we play random games, and in this awkward building where they transport us into these weird games to play, and my daughter's here, as you just heard.
00:00:29
Speaker
Hopefully that you enjoy that. So what we're gonna do is we're all gonna just enter this this dome and I'm gonna I'm gonna take a seat this time and I think someone else is gonna come in and GM Hello
Discovering 'Goat Crashers'
00:00:57
Speaker
I am Davita and I will be your GM or goat master because we are playing the one page RPG called Goat Crashers by Grant Howitt and we are all going to be playing goats who are trying to crash a party. And that party just so happens to be located in Hobbiton at Frodo and Bilbo's birthday party.
00:01:23
Speaker
All right, so I will go over the rules really quick just so you guys get an idea of how this works. It is a very simple RPG where you play a cheeky little goat and all you want to do is party. The problem is
00:01:40
Speaker
The party is being held by hobbits. We don't want their goats to ruin it. Although, you know, hobbits are very accepting. So you guys may have this a little bit easier than you may have if this were hosted at a fancy ball. But anyway, we've got a hobbit party. We've got goats. The goats have to try and get into the party somehow. And you all play different types of goats.
00:02:03
Speaker
Then the different types of goats, they all want to do something, or they have a favorite thing to do. And when they go to this party, they have a certain thing that they want to do.
Meet the Goat Characters
00:02:13
Speaker
I've had my players roll to see what kind of goat they are, their favorite thing, and what they want to do. I have changed a few of the things in this, so if you look up the
00:02:24
Speaker
If you look at this RPG online, you'll see that it may be a little bit different than what we're doing because I've altered it a little bit to be more hobbit-y and also to be less mini. So I've changed the satanic goat to a wool goat.
00:02:45
Speaker
And then the actions that you do at the party are slightly different from the ones that are provided. So I'm going to go ahead and let my players introduce themselves and tell me what type of goat you are, what your favorite thing is to do, and what do you want to do at this party? Also, yeah, what's your goat name? Hello, I am Jesse. I am going to play Pac. He's a pygmy goat and he like headbutt. He likes
00:03:12
Speaker
headbutts. I don't know if that means he likes to headbutt or he likes getting headbutted. But I'm gonna go with headbutting. My goal in this is to eat cake. Right. Jesse makes fun of me all the time about how horrible these are and then he does it perfectly.
00:03:29
Speaker
right after him. Hello, my name is Luke. I'm going to be playing Billy Antoinette, who is a fainting goat who loves to eat stuff and is wanting to just, yeah, eat cake. Okay. Let them eat cake, right? Okay. Hello, I am Martin Frigo the Yolgo. Yo-ho-ho!
00:03:52
Speaker
My favorite thing to do is stand on top of stuff. My goal with this party is to recreate the events of The Hobbit. Yeah. So Isaac has the easy one, right? Oh, yeah, sure.
00:04:08
Speaker
Do your best to interpret that as you will. I will be very lenient and in this, you don't have to include everything from the office. If it's just elements of it, that is acceptable.
Understanding Game Mechanics
00:04:20
Speaker
There's no losing this game pretty much. I mean, I guess you could lose if you got kicked out of the party, but.
00:04:25
Speaker
You lose if you don't have fun. Yeah, exactly. You lose if you don't have fun. So the actions that you guys are doing, you're going to be rolling d6s. When you do something risky, you must roll 2d6, but you may add 2d6s if your goat skill ties in with the action. So if you're a big pygmy goat, that means you're small. And so if something you're doing is being small or squeezing to a small area or
00:04:54
Speaker
Anything that has to do with being small, I will give you an extra 2d6 for that. Alright, Yule goat has, I guess the skills involved with that are basically Santa. If you have done any, like, if you know anything about Yule goats from the Scandinavian tradition for Christmas is kind of like, the goat is kind of basically Santa. So any holiday spirit, anything. If you try to do an action, try and incorporate Christmas in somehow.
00:05:24
Speaker
I don't even know if there's Christmas in this, in Lord of the Rings, but we're going to make it, so. And then our fainting go, if you faint or include fainting somewhere in your action, I'll give you an extra 2d6. So and you get, so two 2d6 normally, an extra 2d6 if you use your skill type, and add another 2d6 if you're doing your favorite dote thing. And then
00:05:52
Speaker
Can we incorporate our skill after failing? Like if we're like, oh yeah, so I want to eat this cake and then it's like, ah, you're one off. I faint into the cake.
00:06:04
Speaker
No, you have to tell me beforehand that you're going to faint into the cage. But you guys may help each other. So in order to get a success, you must roll a four or five or six. Four or five or six is a success. Anything below that is a fail. And this is opposed by the chaos pool, which I will mention in just a bit. Yeah, so each obstacle you encounter will have a difficulty of
00:06:33
Speaker
of a certain amount and you have to have a certain amount of successes. You have to roll a certain amount of successes to complete the to achieve the difficulty that you're trying to do, whether it be sneaking in somewhere, blending in, feeling something. Those those will be the different difficulties and they will have a certain number that you have to
00:06:53
Speaker
complete. And then the, if you do something, so yeah, so if you only get one success or you don't roll any successes, you think the situation will get a little bit worse, hobbits may start figuring out that there's goats at this party. And so I will talk about how things might start going south and the other goats may have to help you out so that you don't get kicked out.
00:07:18
Speaker
of the party. And then when something loud or disruptive happens, if you do something loud or disruptive, I will add a dice or two to the chaos pool. And so each dice in here represents how suspicious the hobbits are at this party. And I will roll the chaos pool when you guys do something risky and
00:07:46
Speaker
If you don't have as many successes as the chaos pool, then something may happen to the goats because people have realized that there are goats here, right?
00:07:55
Speaker
But once per session, each goat can party hard and access the power of the chaos of chaos. So you may take, when you do this, you may take the dice that I have in my chaos pool and add them to your now unopposed pool. So when you're rolling, you will be able to have all the extra dice that were in the chaos pool. And you may all party hard one time. And it's unopposed because there are no other dice in the chaos pool at that point. All right. Are there any questions?
Escape Plan from the Paddock
00:08:25
Speaker
I have a quick question of, would the chaos pull? Yes. So, is that like the end of your game if you use that to party hard? Because it's the one and done, right? That's it? Yeah. Well, you get to use the chaos pull once and that will deplete the dice of my chaos pull. Okay, so it's just to kind of help with that. But it can replenish. Okay.
00:08:51
Speaker
after that, but it would start from zero. Wait, that's not the end of the game when- No, right. So the chaos pool is at zero right now because nothing's happened. Alright, are you guys ready? Yeah.
00:09:03
Speaker
All right. You are warped into this game where you have now become goats. You are owned by the gaffer. So that's Sam Gamgee's dad, old gaffer. You're his goats. So he lives right next to Bilbo, right next to where the party is happening. You are
00:09:25
Speaker
in a in enclosure or paddock should say and you see a lot of preparations happening there are barrels being delivered there's lots of hobbits walking around setting up for a grand party there's flags going up a sign lots of preparation happening happening and and you begin to suspect that there is a celebration happening
00:09:51
Speaker
And you decide that you want to get into this party. So as the party goers start arriving, what do you want to do? How tall is our enclosure? I would say taller than you, probably about four, three, something like that. Do we have an equivalent of like a little goat house, like a little dog house?
00:10:17
Speaker
Oh, my goodness, that would be adorable. No, no, you don't have a goat house. So it's just a pin. It's mostly just a pin, a pen. Yeah, that you're in. There are there are there's like hay in there that that's like your food. Unfortunately, they're not like right next to the gate because Neil Gaffer was smart enough to realize that goats can escape by climbing up hay bales. So the hay bales are kind of like in the middle of the paddock paddock, as well as like your watering trough and other enrichment toys.
00:10:47
Speaker
Immediately, immediately, Pack is just going to try and headbutt this gate. Like, just just going straight forward. All right. And the difficulty level, what you have to beat is three successes. Three successes. I got nothing. OK, so you you run your head into this gate and you fall over. You don't you don't break the gate. And I just go, I just.
00:11:17
Speaker
and just brang and oh that was amazing just even even just the fact that it that i did it was great guys did you all see that that was that was that was great made a nice jingle on the chains on the chain links i'm gonna say this because you wear pig make out and you're you're a little bit small yeah it's tiny yeah i'm i'm tiny on the outside
00:11:44
Speaker
All right, what else do you guys are trying to do?
00:11:47
Speaker
What is the, I don't know if it's just cause Isaac mentioned it. Is it the chain link? First of all, is it existent? Is there a chain holding stuff? Yeah, what kind of- It is a wooden type of fence with kind of like, kind of similar to like what a picket fence would be like. It's not like a white fancy one, but it's got like wood slats like that. So there's, you would, you would be like, if you're trying to like squeeze through small,
00:12:17
Speaker
things. It would be too small to squeeze through any of the panels. Even for me? Yeah. But it's just we have to figure out how to lift it and then open it. Oh, the latch? Are you talking about the latch? Yeah. Are we able to? Is it just that it requires solving? That could be an option. Yeah, you can try and solve the locking mechanism on the gate. You know, it's cooler than headbutting the gate head on.
00:12:45
Speaker
and butting this bale of hay over next to the wall so I could jump on it and jump out of here. You don't have to ask me twice and just run over and try to headbutt again. Okay. Yes, it is a big hay bale. So you have to be able to push it all the way to the gate. So I'm going to say it's- Can I help him? Yes, you may help. So the difficulty to push this heavy hay bale over to, you have to have four successes and you may both roll. Okay.
00:13:15
Speaker
I think Isaac can roll probably 2d6 because his specialty is jumping on stuff. But you can roll four, yes and nine. Oh, I have three successes. I have one success. Yay! So you managed to push this hay bell to the edge of the paddock. Yay! I want to jump on it and try to jump out.
00:13:44
Speaker
I'm going to say that in order to jump over it, like it still takes some dexterity. So I would say you have to roll. It's much easier now. So I'm just going to say one success that you guys must each roll one success in order to jump over this fence. Do I get extra D six because of, you know, everyone else gets two D six. I got two successes.
00:14:06
Speaker
Okay, you make it over the fence. I immediately shout, Martin, now wait for me, I'm tiny. I push this for you. And I try to jump after him. I got one success. All right, you make it over. Okay, Billy Antoinette.
00:14:28
Speaker
Yes, Billy walks over and goes, oh, uncivilized, and jumping. You can easily just walk, oh, oh no. My frail footing has failed me. How embarrassing. And he faints just in a very dramatic, like, southern belle kind of way. Like, oh no, I have failed. And faints. You're fainting on the hay bale, or?
00:14:56
Speaker
No, no, no, I failed. So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna faint so that I can next time do it with four. Okay. You guys go ahead. I'll catch up. All right, so. Martin, we must wait for Billy. I was about to yell, Gandalf. I was just like, wait, I'm doing the Hobbit.
00:15:18
Speaker
And as you're laying on the ground, looking up at the sky, you see a smoke ship fly through a ring in the sky. Now I can see it coming off. I want to, as the ship goes by, I want to narrate it, but of course it's just going to be a bunch of goat screeches. You guys are like, you can talk normal to us now. Okay. Do we know like Gandalf and like the Hobbit by name or?
00:15:48
Speaker
You, you wouldn't know, I would say, I would say, yeah. Well, you wouldn't know Gandalf by name, but you would know Bilbo and Sam and Frodo. Okay. And the Gaffer of course, butt name. Okay. Gandalf is just the wizard. You guys know him as the wizard. Do we know, do we know Sam? Sam. Yes. You know, Sam, you wake up from your, your fain, you see the ship flying over and then, uh, what do you, what do you want to do? You want to try again?
00:16:15
Speaker
Okay, I'll give you four. I'll give you four, four dice. You still have to get one success. Since you just fainted, I will let you have an extra two. And like all of them are successes. So this time he's like, fine, I'll just... So he does it like he's still like being pompous and like fancy. Like I'm still not going to jump, but he'll come. He follows all of us with him.
00:16:46
Speaker
Let us eat cake. Billy, you made it. You made it, Billy. Gestures to the party. Just yeah. You have now all made it over the over the paddock gate. But so that just means you've escaped your paddock. But there is still difficulty of getting into the party.
Crashing Bilbo's Party
00:17:06
Speaker
There is a steep hill.
00:17:08
Speaker
because it's a hobbit hill and on the left there's a lot of bushes and a hedge around it there's a party tree and then there's a lake on the right so oh and right in front of you right where the entrance of the party is is a gate Bilbo has invited a select number of hobbits to his party and doesn't want hobbits sneaking in that weren't invited
00:17:33
Speaker
There is a hobbit at the gate checking invitations to make sure that there were hobbits. The hobbits that are coming in were on the guest list. So there's people coming into the party right now. You hear Bilbo saying, hello, hello, Fati Bolder, lovely to see you. Welcome, welcome. He's talking to the hobbits that have come. What do you want to do?
00:17:57
Speaker
Is there any like whipped cream or like cake outside, like somewhere where he wouldn't see but I would be able to get it? No, all of that is within the fence, within the party lawn, I would say. Any types of preparation materials. There's lots of tents. You see lots of tents and lights. Is there coats? Like, you know, like when dealing with like farm animals, they have like
00:18:24
Speaker
Like I don't know, coats and like some have like gloves or something like that. Is there like coat, like a raincoat? I guess not raincoat. Are you talking about like us rating like the coat check? Well, or just getting something to where we can, we can do, uh, we can stack.
00:18:43
Speaker
Oh, I see. The three goats and a trench coat, I think. Yeah, exactly. There's not a jacket coat or a coat check because the Hubbets are outdoors and so they actually want their jackets on. But the Gaffer's house is right behind you if you want to try and get into his house.
00:19:02
Speaker
Quick question. I know I'm the Yule. Yule goat, yes. So am I straight up just a Santa goat? Can I pull out a sack of disguises? I would have to have you roll for that. You can have a sack, but I think what you pull out will depend on how many successes you get. All right. I love it. Hey, Martin, where'd you get the stack? Oh, I've had this since the beginning. Don't you remember?
00:19:31
Speaker
Right. Okay. Hey, you must've hit your head on that gate real hard. That's the only thing I hit my head on and I just run into the nearest like Bush or something. All right. So it's not my favorite thing to do, but it is my type of goat. Do I still get extra dice? You do get extra dice. So, uh, since, since that is your, your, your skill is basically being Santa or the holy spirit or whatever like that. So, so you do get four, four dice.
00:20:02
Speaker
And if you stand on something, I'll give you six dice. Ooh, I'll really like to stand on top of something. Okay, there is a stump, like someone cut down a tree. Oh yes. A long time ago. I want to jump on top of it and then like set my sack on the ground and then just like reach my face in and just bite whatever's there and toss it towards the gang.
00:20:25
Speaker
Okay, so I would say in order to get a coat that is large enough for three goats to hide inside, you will have to roll. Let's say that you've got a lot of stuff in this thing, so it's gotta be five successes. Out of six. Five out of six. Can I help somehow, some way? Yes, you can help. I'll give you two extra dice if you hold the bag for him. Okay, I'll hold the bag. I'm using my head. I'm using my head to do it.
00:20:55
Speaker
Doesn't give me a bonus. I just want to use my head. Okay. I got one success. I got two successes. Oh, okay. So you, you reach inside and you pull out, I'm going to say like eight, a children's, like waist, waistcoat. Well, we are kids. And this, this waistcoat, it's big enough for one goat to wear. Okay. Me, my size.
00:21:24
Speaker
It might be a little bit big on you. You want to roll again? You can just see if you can pull anything else out. Can I can I roll or something to see if I can find a small hole in the in the what's the name the the guy the farmer the
00:21:46
Speaker
Our owner's house. Yeah. Old gaffer. Yeah. Old gaffer. You want to see if there's a hole in his house? Yeah, something that I can fit into. See if I can get into the house.
00:21:57
Speaker
I'm just going to say there's a big round door and there's small windows on either side of the doorway and one of the windows is open. It's pretty small, but you could fit into it if you could find your way up to it because you're too short to just jump through it. Hey, Billy.
00:22:17
Speaker
Billy hey we can we can find something more or I don't I don't know what uh uh Martin's doing but but we can if you if if you stand underneath this window and look amazing you just I want to see you in this black can I can I see that first can I can you just stand over here do not tempt my soul so much I will I will do it there you go
00:22:42
Speaker
And I try to jump on top of him to jump up to the window. And just without even realizing it, he's like trying to gesture with one hand as if to do the best. Like bathe me in your fine glory thou son.
00:22:58
Speaker
And as he's ready to go, I just jump on him and try to jump on the window. OK, so you get two. But Luke is helping. I mean, Billy is helping you. So it's four. And the successes you need is two. So you need two successes to get through the window. OK. Now I didn't get a success. Can I say I saw some jumping and I want to join in? Yes, you may join in.
00:23:25
Speaker
And it's my favorite thing. It's nice and small. So I hit the window. How about, okay, sure. You basically jumped on him and kind of like, but you kind of aimed wrong and you ran into the door instead or you hit the door. Yeah, I like that. I got two successes. So Martin, how did you help Pac get this window?
00:23:52
Speaker
As he was falling, I just leapt up and grabbed him between my teeth and just yanked forward. And we both went sailing. It was like a super slow-mo moment where he looks up at me, I look down at him, and I'm like, I give him a wink. It feels like forever, even though Luke's goat is still out there posing. It only happened in the span of a couple of seconds.
00:24:16
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. And I just give like the cheesiest smile now has stolen from me. You with such beauty and such tempestry and like, out of pure, this is pure awesomeness. Like, but in an old English kind of way and just faint. Okay. So.
00:24:41
Speaker
pack those flying through the window. And as Martin is still like leaping, he kind of hits the, hits the door as well. You kind of make a little bit of a ruckus because there's a, there's a sound of like goats flying through windows hitting doors. I feel like you, you're kind of had less accuracy. So you may have broken part of the window that was open when you went through it. So I'm going to add one dice to the chaos pool.
00:25:11
Speaker
Because you you made some noise and the hobbits who are nearby at the party heard a sound sure they don't suspect anything yet, but Billy what's our need you greatest of us thespians Grab that children's coat and if someone wonders why there was too much sound just pretend you were a drunk hobbit that ran into the wall and
00:25:33
Speaker
playing a part as if i was born to play this role i shall do it for you my friend my muse all right pack you are now inside of the old gaffer's house do you like to do basically look for something to wear
00:25:55
Speaker
Either any of us or all three of us can fit in or something. Okay, so you're right at the entryway. There is a coat rack, and you do see a coat, but it's one of those standing coat racks, the one that's got like, it's like a tripod. It's got a cloak that's hanging on it. It's got an umbrella and like a walking staff, and they're all like on this coat rack, and there's also a hat on the top of the coat rack. Ooh, okay.
00:26:25
Speaker
it's kind of like a bowler hat a little bit how high is the door handle you can't reach it i mean you might be able to you might be able to touch it with your mouth if you jumped what if he stood on my back but you're not inside and you're not inside you were not big oh i thought oh i thought i made it oh no no it's a small hole it was a small window
00:26:45
Speaker
yeah it was a small window you kind of hit the wind like you hit it and i think like some of the glass broke my face is the one that broke it yeah or one of your horns or something
00:26:59
Speaker
so i think okay can i wager this if i because i'll be rolling four if what i'm about to say so if i get four successes could i like knock all the things down and not make a noise or like make a minimum noise in the house
00:27:19
Speaker
I'm going to say in order to knock the coat rack down, you only need one success, but if you you're inside now and I don't think it will actually make as much noise as you might think it is. Okay. So, okay. I'm going to say you need one success to knock it over.
00:27:36
Speaker
then I will headbutt it. Okay, so roll your four dice. I don't know why I didn't give you two extra dice for getting through the window. Sorry, Jesse, I just realized you're small. No, I didn't. I didn't headbutt, though. That's the thing. I just... But you used your small, smallness. Oh, I did use my smallness, yes. Yes, that was... Yeah, that's right.
00:27:54
Speaker
time mistake. My first time GMing, so I got it. All successes. All success. Okay, wow. So yeah, you definitely knock this coat rack down. And you also see a pair of spectacles that were inside the coat, inside of the coat, sorry, the coat pocket.
00:28:14
Speaker
call out and there was also like a handkerchief in another pocket and so those things all kind of tumble out of the the coat and as you're knocking the coat rack down it also hits a a box off of the shelf which then lands near near you it's just like a like maybe a crate that had some slippers in it
00:28:37
Speaker
Ooh. And that was, that fell down. Can I just start chucking these things through the window? Like, with my mouth? You know what? Not slippers in it, because hobbits don't wear shoes. Yeah, that's true. I'm gonna say it was gardening tools that fell out of the box. Okay. Yeah, you can start throwing stuff through the window. Doing some roll first stuff?
00:29:03
Speaker
Yeah, I would say you probably got to roll two successes to throw things through the window. I'll help just to be like stealth it, like be like playing like I'm playing ball and I've actually dropped it. And this was definitely a ball and not a gardening tool here. That's what this noise was. But just to help them do it like successfully and you know, it's better than playing as a child that dropped their ball.
00:29:32
Speaker
playing as a Hobbit on the Grand Adventure. That's beautiful. He's here on the other side of the wall. That's beautiful, man. That's beautiful. I only got one success. Okay, so you throw it and it lands on the windowsill and kind of dangles on both sides of the windowsill. What did I throw first? I don't know. That's up to you.
00:29:57
Speaker
I was thinking throwing the cane first because then they could start catching the things on the cane. Okay. The cane hooked onto the windowsill. It's hanging off of the windowsill on the other side, like I made it through mostly, but it's still too high for you just to reach up and grab it. The goats on the other side. You can roll again if you want to. Yeah, I'm going to keep throwing things. No successes that time.
00:30:27
Speaker
You're having some struggles getting, getting the things out of the window. Do you want to find another way to get things out?
00:30:34
Speaker
Yeah, I think so. I think I'll just, I don't know, roll, see if I can find another place. Can we look outside as well? Yeah, you guys can look around. I mean, there's pretty much just the one entrance, though. So there's, and the windows. But there was a crate that landed on the ground. Yes, that's right. Can I headbutt the crate to the door? Yes, I say you can do that. That'll be a success. But you still have to get the door open.
00:30:59
Speaker
Oh, can I like, I don't know. I guess I have to jump and get the handle still. I'm still that small. If you're standing on the box, you can reach the handle. Okay. But I think it might be a little bit difficult for you to get your mouth around the doorknob and turn it so that you'll need two successes to do that. And you get to roll.
00:31:21
Speaker
Only one, only one success. There might be a little bit of a trick to this door. I'm going to, if you head butt instead of use your mouth, you can try and head butt the doorknob. Yeah. I'm basically just going to go full force this time and just try and get this doorknob. I'll give you two more dice. I'll give you two more dice. Great. My head is like, I don't even know if it's aching or bleeding with all this stuff, but I'm going for it.
00:31:51
Speaker
Uh, three successes. Three successes. Okay. So you hit the door knob with your head and it kind of like, it does dislodge the, the, the locking mechanism, but it also kind of dents the, the door knob. So the door knob now has a antler, like, like shaped, uh, or not antler, what is it called? Horn, horn mark. Yeah, horn. It's got like a dent in it now. Okay. So you, you've managed to open, uh, open up the door.
00:32:19
Speaker
I'll take it. And they see they just see me like I pushed the crate and the back and I just I'm just like hanging on the door and be like, I knew what I was doing. I just waiting for you guys. What took you so long? You can't rush art. And what we're doing is art. Isn't that right, Billy?
00:32:38
Speaker
And then suddenly the sky turns white, like it looks like daytime. There's a bright flash that goes over the party and swoops down over the lake. And again, Delta set off the first firework. Come on, we gotta get this. There's a coat in here. There's a hat. There's glasses. We got everything. Let's go. I dipped all the spectals. The cane is now still hanging from the window.
00:33:05
Speaker
So you don't have the cane. I can't reach the cane, guys. I'll take the top hat. You didn't say it was a top hat. I don't know why I was thinking it was a top hat. I'll take the hat. I'm pretty strong. I'll hold two overs on the top. Oh yeah, you're tiny. Oh yeah. Maybe he should go on top. Wait, wait, wait. No, I'm not good with talking people.
00:33:28
Speaker
None of us are. We're goats. Oh, right. This is true. We only make sense to each other. This is a weird, highly... I don't know. Samwise, you sometimes, you know, he sits there and talks with me. I think he thinks I'm cute. Yeah, I like Sam. He's fun. Gives us cake. He is. It's his fault we like cake. We're so stupid. Yeah, it is. It's his fault. He'll be building more now, but... What were the costume parts that you were talking about?
00:33:53
Speaker
So there's an overcoat or like a coat. Out of the coat fell spectacles and like a handkerchief, a yellow handkerchief out of one of the pockets. There is the cane that's hanging from the window and there's like a hat, like a bowler hat type hat. So it is large enough that it could be all three of us because... Oh, and there was an umbrella. Yes, an umbrella. Yeah, there was an umbrella as well. And the hat was a top hat? It was like a bowler.
00:34:22
Speaker
that you can hide, like, paint me in there. No, don't think you're small enough to fit inside of a bowler hat, not a hobbit bowler hat. Can I try? No, it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. You try, it doesn't happen. Is there, is there like cream or anything in the kitchen or something like grab that looks, I don't know, has consistency of like whipped cream?
00:34:47
Speaker
You see a, like a, I would say a blanket
Chaos and Cake at the Party
00:34:52
Speaker
that's like next to the couch and it's wool, like white wool. I don't think he, if you looked into the kitchen, I mean, he would have to roll pretty high to find cream. I don't think that he would have that. Would there be whipped cream in my bag?
00:35:09
Speaker
You could roll for that. I'll explain my plan so that you guys know what I'm looking for. I want to play as Radagast who accidentally turned into an animal. So I was going to get whipped cream to be the bird poop and just be like, I'm Radagast. I'm totally just Radagast. But what we know is? From stories that were told of Radagast. But that was my plan if there is something bird poop consistency. You can check the bathroom to see if there's toothpaste.
00:35:39
Speaker
Yeah. Well, he does that. I'll sift through my bag. Okay. So you get four dice and I'm going to say, unless you stand on something, you'll get six and you, you have to roll three successes to find whipped cream. Wait, I have four. No, no, you can go look in the bathroom to see if you can find toothpaste. I'm giving Isaac. Yeah. I'm trying to find something to help you. Four dice to find whipped cream in your bag.
00:36:09
Speaker
That's three successes. Okay, so Isaac looks through his bag and finds a ready whip with tree. A ready whip, really? And he gives you Santa, he's omniscient. And he finds a, yeah, a pressurized bottle of whipped cream. Here you go, Billy.
00:36:34
Speaker
Thank you. You probably know best because you're a big fan of Bilbo's stories. Is there anything else that would play the part of Red Against? Stick some hay in your hair. Good, good idea. Good idea. So should I be playing the face? I'm definitely not the shade. Shall I play the part, the thespian of our party? Shall I play the part? I'll be the stage director.
00:37:05
Speaker
I'm just in between them. It's too bad, though, that Isaac can't be like... It's too bad that you're the small one, Jesse, because ideally, Luke would be the talker. Isaac would like standing on things, so if he were on top of you, but you're very small. I know, I'm so tiny. I don't know that if they were all stood on top of you. I'm strong. I'm strong enough. I believe you, buddy.
00:37:32
Speaker
I could do it for at least five minutes. If you could do it for a short time, you could do it for a short time, I would say. But I would have to, you would all roll together. If you guys are all working together, you would all roll together. I think, I think we're ready to go. Like we look, we look the part. Okay. There is one more difficulty here in that you don't have, you don't have an invite.
00:37:56
Speaker
Oh, okay. Radagast. Radagast wouldn't, he wouldn't think of inviting Radagast to a party because he's just some hermit, but is it close enough friend that he could be invited? He could just be led into the party. All right. So you're going to use your smooth, smooth talking skills to try and get yourself into this party. So if not, I have, if it doesn't work, I got another idea. It involves headbutting.
00:38:21
Speaker
I would like to help him by like feeding him lines that Bilbo would like, since I know his story. Actually, that's probably the best is if, if Martin was on top, because he could just specify lines from the movie. Plus, I know the book that he's writing.
00:38:41
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't have whipped cream on my head and he can have the advantage of being on top of my. No, the whipped cream is is established. That is that is what we have now. So either we're eating it or we are using it. So I'll allow you to be on top, Martin. All right. Pop pop. We'll take the hat. All right. So that has become Atlas. You you have the world to bring us cake.
00:39:07
Speaker
You assemble your disguise, three goats and a coat with a bowler hat, some spectacles. Did you take the umbrella with you? Yes. It might rain. You never know. It is an outdoor party. We don't have any hands. How are we going to use the umbrella? It could be hooked on to the jacket or someone's arm. Just put one of your little horns through the arm. Your body would be the arm.
00:39:34
Speaker
I would say probably both Pac and Barton could fit on top of Billy. I would say you guys could probably both fit on top of him. Billy, don't faint, okay? You're the bottom. You gotta stay focused. You gotta stay focused. The only way this actually works though is that Pac is actually laying down on top of... So you're kind of underneath. You're not being stood upon, but you're small enough so you can kind of like lay on top of... So he's beneath me, but on top of Billy.
00:40:03
Speaker
Right, exactly. Oh man, I'm in for 20 now. You're not getting squished because... We're like awkward. Oh no, I guess we're hobbit size. I was going to say we're an awkward fat little man. But yeah, your nose could fit through like the buttons of the, like the coat basically. So you can like stick your nose there. I don't want to look up and I don't want to look down. So I'm definitely looking out.
00:40:33
Speaker
Okay, so you go up and there's a hobbit checking people's invites. Dibbles no longer at the entrance greeting people, but there is a
00:40:45
Speaker
like a guard or whatever there at the gate. And I'm going to say in order to get past the guard, you need to have six successes. You have to be pretty convincing in order to get past this. So you, uh, you guys are all working together. Jesse has how many, how many do you have? You're using your, are you using your smallness? I'm using my smallness.
00:41:09
Speaker
You get four. You are kind of being small right in the middle, right? Yeah. Luke gets two dice. Just two. I'm sorry. I wish I could give your... It's fair. I played this whole character on a thespian thing, but it has nothing to do with that character. But it has nothing to do with the things you want to do. I'm trying to be like a small, cranky, jock little, little thing. Technically, I'm the more thespian one because I want to recreate the...
00:41:38
Speaker
Exactly. I think it's four days because he's standing on top of you. Can I get six since I'm reciting what happened in the Hobbit and I'm standing on something? Oh yes, yes you may. I'll do six days. So technically twice. No, he's not standing on me. No, no, I'm in between. I am above him though. I'm small. I have a high ground. Oh wait, wrong, wrong series. He is standing and he is above you who is something. So he's not standing on me.
00:42:09
Speaker
So you have you have six. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I have six. Yeah, I think I have six. I have four. I have four successes. Oh, you just made it. This guy's not going to get headbutted. So the hobbit at the party says, all right, invitation, please.
00:42:31
Speaker
Oh man, you hobbits really can't hold your liquor. Look behind me. Someone broke into that house, banged into the window with their cane and stole a bunch of stuff. I'd go look into that. It's all bleeding though, right? I'm going to say that he understands you because there are animals in the Hobbit that actually talk like eagles and dragons. So it does sound like a goat who's talking.
00:43:05
Speaker
He is a little bit confused while you're talking so weird, but we get in we roll the six But I don't I'm not exactly sure how this ties into the Hobbit. So I may end up taking You could take one of my fails
00:43:23
Speaker
But you would have to re-roll, I think, unless you're using some type of event in the Hobbit to convince your way in. Well, they were trying to break back into the Misty Mountain just like this person broke into that person's house. Okay, close enough, I suppose.
00:43:45
Speaker
Okay. Close it. Close it up, I would say. All right.
Bilbo's Speech and Vanishing Act
00:43:49
Speaker
So so this habit, he he turned, he turns around and kind of look, look, look at what you're talking about. And he he notices a broken glass. He's like, Oh, the old gaffer. I've got to tell him that there's a broken glass. These doors open. Don't don't worry about it. We'll go into the party. We'll tell him. We'll tell him. Don't worry. You you you keep watch.
00:44:11
Speaker
Okay. I'm kicking Martin. Thank you. And he's forgotten that you don't have an invite because of the yeah, so he's a little bit flustered. He's like, Oh, okay. Well, I guess. All right. As long as you go and tell it, um, tell him, uh, tell him that his house is open and, uh, also, uh, uh, have a, have a ton of fun at the party, uh, drink lots of ale. It sounds like your voice, you know, a little bit raspy or, uh,
00:44:37
Speaker
Yeah, have a good time. And you guys get past successfully get past the guard. Okay, what would you like to do? In another life? I probably would have said, Oh, yes, I am goat. I'm a horse. I'm horse. Actually, here, I'm going to give the setting. So once you get into the party, you say you've passed underneath string of lights, you see a little like a, a firework that looks kind of like a tree and that's blooming and
00:45:04
Speaker
Another one of Gandalf's fireworks. There's music playing. You see Frodo push Sam into the bands, and he starts dancing with Rosie Cotton. And then to your left, you hear Bilbo saying, so there I was surrounded by three monstrous trolls. And they were all arguing about how they were going to cook us and eat us, whether they were going to turn us on a spit or whether they're going to sit on us one by one and squash us in the jelly.
00:45:33
Speaker
That's so long arguing, whether two's wife or the son's first like cracked over the top and turn them all to stone. They hear parts of Bilbo's story. While he's doing that, I want to run behind him and recreate what he's narrating. Since it is my goal.
00:45:55
Speaker
wait a second you're the top of us i was gonna say it's two against one now we is there cake there there it well there it'll be at the after party actually you don't see a cake yet oh i i'm not i'm not connected to these two at all can i can i try to sneak sneak out of this coat and into like a like i don't know behind a wagon that's still getting stuff
00:46:23
Speaker
So you want to like kind of hop out or? OK. Yeah, I want to I want to sneak around and look for this cake being small. All right. OK, you could use your smallness smallness to see if you could find the cake. So I just like, don't worry, don't worry, Billy, I'm going to go. And I just kind of like slide out in between you guys and hopefully no one notices. They're all two successes.
00:46:52
Speaker
two successes. All right. So you tumble out of the two goats, now it's two goats and a goat. And you kind of like roll behind a like a barrel and
00:47:06
Speaker
And then you kind of like look around and you see behind the tent some hobbits kind of staggering around trying to carry a giant cake on a platter. It's like big, bigger than them basically. And so there's a couple of them there. They're just about to walk through the party and bring the cake in.
00:47:27
Speaker
Pac's gonna get cake for me. This is gonna be my best day ever. I'm just gonna be that actor I was born to play with, with my best friend. One of my best friends. One of, one of, one of... Pac, Pac like somehow inside just felt a really sharp pain in him, in his side right there. When he gives me cake, we'll see.
00:47:48
Speaker
Okay, so I'm going to say you need four successes to convincingly act this out. Behind Bill the Bill doesn't see you, but the children do. And Billy gets two dice. Martin gets four because, oh five, no six, sorry. Martin gets six because he's standing on you. And also he is trying to recreate his thing. So he's trying to do the thing that he needs to do. So he gets six dice.
00:48:13
Speaker
and you need four successes altogether yes altogether so between the two of you i got one sorry oh i only got one too okay you're behind me we're playing the part of the trolls no come on what are you trying to yeah yeah so how do you fail basically how do you how do you fail i think it's miscommunication we're playing two different parts but yes but we're in the same coat
00:48:37
Speaker
Yeah, one person with quotation marks trying to play two different parts, but still, yeah, it gets contorted. It was supposed to be like a one-man stage show, puppeted by two people. That's why it went wrong.
00:48:51
Speaker
And as just as Bilbo says, turn them all to stone. Since you guys are trying to play two different cards. Yeah, Martin you fall off of Billy and you kind of tumble to the side and a couple of the Hobbit children's shocked faces are because they just saw a Hobbit split in two behind you. That's what happens when stone falls and cracks.
00:49:13
Speaker
I'm adding one dice to the chaos pool. Billy, I know how we could get these kids excited again. Let's get them cake.
00:49:33
Speaker
As the cake gets brought in to the joyous music, see it being paraded through the crowd and gets placed on top of a, on a table that's under the party tree. And right now you guys are closer, a little bit closer to where the entrance is. So you have to get past tables or sneak around through the tents to get to the other side of the party. The stage is on the right of the party tree. The cake is on the left side of the party tree.
00:50:01
Speaker
the cake is like next to slash behind where Bilbo gives his speech later on so there's like some barrels and stuff like that and so as you see this cake being brought in you hear kind of behind you you hear a hobbit says no the big one big one and and then you see you see a couple other hobbits like
00:50:24
Speaker
looking through, like they're opening every single bucket that they can find and trying, they're checking, they're looking inside every single bucket and they're not really participating in the party at the moment, but you think it is a little bit strange that they're looking at every single bucket that's in there. So what do you want to do? Am I with these, like in this tent with the fireworks or, cause I still was hiding to, or did I follow the cake?
00:50:53
Speaker
It is up to you. You, when you, you saw the cake get brought in. Okay. And then, but you heard the hobbits, um, saying no big one, big one on the other side of you, basically. I don't know. Can I roll something to figure out what they mean? My big one or do using my small, just quickly. And then I'll double back the cake. Yes. You can, you can see what they're doing.
00:51:19
Speaker
And use your smallest, I'd say, would you only need one, probably one success or two, I'll say two success, two success. Okay. So yes, you, you kind of go around the, you peek around the side of the tent and you see two hobbits in a, inside of Gandalf wagon, like digging through firework and yeah. And that the one was at one of them pulls out a big, a big firework that has a dragon head on it.
00:51:48
Speaker
I immediately- Actually, no. I'm gonna- Can I headbutt the wagon in any way to get it rolling? Yes. Yeah, you could do that. Okay, I want to do that instead and create a distraction. Okay. I wanted to create a distraction. Can I- So that- But I'm still using my smallness as well to sneak- Okay. So they know I'm-
00:52:11
Speaker
All right. I'm going to say that this is a pretty big wagon and you're a pretty small goat. Even though you are using your, the thing that you like doing most, I would say you still need four successes to get this wagon to, to create a distraction. Okay. But I get to use six dice, right? Yeah. Because I'm going to do my smallness and the thing I like. Six dice. Yeah. Six. Six dice. And you need four successes. Four.
00:52:44
Speaker
You headbutt the wagon and the hobbits who are in, so you're like in the front of the wagon. They're in the back. They hear like a thunk. You fall over and they kind of look around thinking, did someone hear us? And they grab the, the firework and go into the tent. All right. So there's, there's music and dancing happening. There's people eating food all around.
00:53:10
Speaker
Gandalf setting up a little firework, Bilbo's telling stories. What are you guys gonna try and do next? Can I try to bribe the kids at the party to cause a big enough distraction so I can help Billy get Kate? And the way I'll distract him is being like, hey kids, I'll give you a bunch of toys if you make a bunch of loud noise and make sure no one's paying attention over here. And I'll take the toys out of my bag.
00:53:38
Speaker
And they are officially licensed the Hobbit toys.
00:53:45
Speaker
Oh, I forgot to add another dace to the chaos pool because the hobbits heard the, heard the thunk. I'm more suspicious about it. Okay. So yes, you may try and get the, pull some toys out of your bag. I'm going to say you need to get three successes and you have, you're using your Yule thing. You get four days. Okay.
00:54:15
Speaker
This is for you, Billy. I got two successes. Okay, so you pull out a carrot.
00:54:25
Speaker
out of your bag and broccoli and a bunch of vegetables. And the Hobbit children see their typical children where they don't like eating their vegetables. So I'm just gonna say they try and not pay attention to you because they don't want to be forced to eat vegetables. Wait. So they don't like their vegetables, right? No, they don't like their vegetables. I still have a can of whipped cream.
00:54:52
Speaker
And you're telling me a kid's not going to pass that up. And as the children are kind of like turning away from you, they're like gross. They're whatever they're trying to like, maybe watch the fireworks instead or something like that. They are curious about what you've got there. But I think they're also kind of like afraid of this other goat who's
00:55:13
Speaker
including Shakespearian or talking in space, Shakespearian English. You've achieved in distracting the children. Hobbits that you have to get past are distracted. And so they actually do kind of check out your whipped cream bottle and they start spurting it into each other's mouths and on each other's heads and like into their hands and throwing it at each other.
00:55:37
Speaker
I'm just going to say you don't need a role for that. Children are going to do that anyway. So you have distracted the children and the parents are just like, oh, that's, you know, and then a bunch more children just come in and you hear Bilbo say, Mrs. Bracegrove, how nice to see you. Welcome, welcome. Are all these children yours? And so they come in and join in the whipped cream fight.
00:56:06
Speaker
I would say it's a minor, it's a minor distraction. But yeah, they're kids. Yes, they are. They are. Good gracious, you have been productive.
00:56:20
Speaker
Okay, so as they're doing this whipped cream battle, you hear a kind of grumpy evil or a grumpy sort of voice say, Bilbo. And there's a couple of hobbits that look very sketchy who are looking around for Bilbo and Bilbo kind of ducks into a tent and grabs Frodo.
00:56:40
Speaker
We'll see what happens to our goats after this ad. Welcome back from the commercial break. And so let's just jump right in. What are you guys all doing? What do you want to do? No one has like, no one's like really noticed there's goats yet, but they are starting to get a little suspicious. They're kind of like,
00:57:00
Speaker
They're just used to goats, I think, being all around them in general, so they haven't noticed the goats that are trotting around. Like, they haven't started paying attention. There's still a big party happening. There's dancing. Band is playing. What are you guys doing? Probably going to try to get the cake. She's just going to go for it. Well, no, sorry, find pack and then get the cake together.
00:57:24
Speaker
all right for me did the hobbits leave with the fireworks they're in a tent so they're still with me in the tent did you go into the tent yeah remember i hit the i hit the wagon that was holding the fireworks yes you hit the wagon and then you went into the tent oh i thought it was in the tent yes no no the wagon is not inside the tent no okay i won't go in the tent okay do i see do i know what a firework is
00:57:50
Speaker
I would say you probably, well, it depends. It depends, I guess, on how old you are. I feel like you probably would have heard about them if you haven't seen it before. Well, you've seen the ones that have been going off recently. So yeah, you would know that.
00:58:04
Speaker
I feel like the intelligence of the stuff we've accomplished so far would grant us the know-how of what fireworks are. Yes, I believe you know what fireworks are. I think it's a nape for Jesse though, just be like, does glass, we know about glass, right? Okay, okay. Should I roll? No, I know what fireworks are.
00:58:27
Speaker
Can I? The main reason I ask is even the hobbits were like, oh, yay, the wizard's here with his firework. Like they only see it with him. That's why I was just making sure. Oh, yeah. But even the hobbit children knew about Gandalf's fireworks. They've been passed down in stories. OK, so how far is the cake from where I am, basically? Like when I had to do a long sneak?
00:58:56
Speaker
Yeah, I would say it's on the other side of the table. So there's like a bunch of tables and then like a dance floor, like our dancing area. So it's, I would say maybe 50 feet from where you are. Mine, you can go if you want. I'm just calculating something. I'm trying to see if I could reenact a scene with you getting the cake.
00:59:20
Speaker
trying to think. Because, yeah, also I want to help Martin reenact a scene. I think I think what I'll do is I will try and find them. That's what I'm going to peek out. OK, you find them. They're just on the other side of the tent.
00:59:38
Speaker
And I'm like, hey, hey guys, are you, do you want, I, yeah, do you want to help? I can, what do you need? Billy, why are you dropping things? And then pack, you get hit by a splatter of whipped cream on your phone. I must eat it. I have to, can I, can I try and like lick, lick my face? You can lick your face. This is awesome. I love being good. It's so easy.
01:00:06
Speaker
I could find my friends and I could lick my own face. No rolling required. What we could do. No, that won't work. That's not how he defeated the trolls. I was going to say, I'll I'll scope the cake into Tom Burton, William, and then you could defeat them. But he just defeated them by tricking them into looking at the sunlight. Billy, Billy, do you do you want it? Do you have a plan to get the cake?
01:00:33
Speaker
No, I was just thinking boorishly to just... Why are you thinking like a boor? You're a goat. Come on, man. And what happened to your accent? You're not as posh anymore. I have been distracted by the existence and possibility of cake. I just can't even...
01:00:56
Speaker
Ah, this is what we'll do. Okay, I'll pretend to be Bilbo and the rest of you pretend to be the dwarves at the dinner party when they first met him. They came over. So then you just got to eat, eat, eat. I'm pretty sure you would want to do that. But how do we get, who's wearing the coat? Do we get back in together? Well, these are three separate roles.
01:01:18
Speaker
Okay, okay. Go to your house then, Martin. Where is your house that has the cake? My house will be the table that actually has the cake here. Oh, okay. We're doing a live performance. Do you think we'll get noticed that way? No, no. They'll just be swept up in the arts of it. They'll just applaud.
01:01:39
Speaker
if anything happens i'll just jump on the dance floor and just just dance like crazy that'll distract people well we'll mingle in with the kids in the whipped cream fight so then they just think it's a bunch of kids uh wink wink that are that are tearing up all the food okay we'll try to convince the kids to to play the rest of the dwarves as well
01:02:02
Speaker
At this point, while he's been talking, I did kind of go closer to the kids and start licking them while he's been talking to me. But again, just straight faced, just licking their clothes, just everything about them. Yeah, I'm totally listening to you.
01:02:19
Speaker
Is everybody down for this plan? Yes, once the pack is done with this elementary machinations, let's go. Come on. I'm already on my third kid right now, Blake. All right. We just start feasting on all the food plus the cake with the kids.
01:02:38
Speaker
Okay, but the cake is still pretty far from you guys. So you guys don't have, you're not, you're not next to the cakes, the cake, but there is food around you. So you could, you can reenact that part of it, I guess. Is it, is it like one of those big, long tables? Like, can we just make our way through all, like all of them? No, unfortunately the tables go in the opposite direction. So you can't just say, yeah, there's not a straight shot. All right. All right, kids, this is the dress rehearsal.
01:03:06
Speaker
And then we'll go to English with goat. Yes. To the kids. And they're just laughing and playing because they they're I mean, they know that you're goats, but they don't care. So I'm literally hearing what a goat would do. Right. All right. So let's try to herd these kids around us and we'll walk towards the not the the cake.
01:03:32
Speaker
with them as like a barrier of disguise. Like, ah, look at them kids playing. How do we, do you want me to circle them? Just circle and slightly push them into a circle around us. I just start going into a circle around them. Like, okay, this is going to be a higher role, I think, because kids are unruly and probably not super cooperative. So, and as I pass each child, I just keep looking. I just take one lick every time.
01:04:03
Speaker
In order to use these kids to get you all the way to where the cake is, I would need six sets of five, five successes. You guys can all roll, but. Can I add two since we just got done with dress rehearsals? Sure. So reenacting the hot pack. Pack guy add two, cause it's like leading up to cake. Sure. Yes. You can all roll four.
01:04:31
Speaker
Can I get an extra two because I'm small and adorable and licking them? Okay, sure. And I get an extra two because of eating stuff. Eating stuff? You're not eating anything. What's the cake? I rolled two successes. Four successes. All right, so you guys can herd these children towards the cake, I guess.
01:05:05
Speaker
Because I did so well with circling, can I go in the front of them at this point while the other two are kind of continuously pushing the kids? Yes, sure. And like hold like a stick and be like, like, like doing like a march? Sure, you can do that. So you're all dancing along to the music and marching through the crowd as these children are surrounding you and playing and the other hobbits are kind of like getting whipped cream splattered on them and they're just like,
01:05:31
Speaker
looking at you or looking at the kids and like are really uh kind of disturbed but i'm gonna add one taste to the chaos pool and also as you know you know what all this marching reminds me of of uh when Bilbo and the and the dwarves marched off towards the misty mountains am i right guys i i can care i can care
01:05:54
Speaker
And then you grasp it as many straws as I can. As you're marching through the cloud, a loud boom happens, and a huge tent just flies up in the air. And up in the sky, you see a red dragon that's flying through the sky and is about to swoop down. I die for the cake. Or the table of the cake, anyway. More for cover than for the cake at this point.
01:06:23
Speaker
I want to scream out, smog, everybody run. Are you here, Frodo? Say, Bilbo, watch out for the dragon. Bilbo says, oh, dragon? Nonsense, I hasn't been dragging these parts for a thousand years. And everyone is running and scattering and screaming, and you have an additional distraction. Actually, I'm going to take a dice out of the chaos pool because of that.
01:06:47
Speaker
Because even though they got a little bit suspicious at first, this commotion has completely distracted any hobbits who may have been suspicious. All right. And so there's a big commotion. The dragon swoops over, almost catching a couple hobbits on fire.
01:07:10
Speaker
but no one is actually singed and then like in the distance it just bursts into fireworks and everyone cheers yeah are you guys distracted or did you make it to the cake i'm totally distracted but i'm underneath the cake holier than now about it be like i'm not gonna fall or not gonna justify such juvenile deceit but i will i will accompany you and just kind of like casually walk but like don't be like i'm fine i'm not scared let's do this and then just kind of chill with
01:07:40
Speaker
I wanna be running around being like, who has the black arrows to take down the dragon? And I'm doing like, as soon as I saw the dragon, I like, did like, I swooped down to my, I don't know, my nubs or something, my elbows and my knees, and I'm like crawling in, like, well, we're in the trenches now. And I try to sneak and like dive under the table, where the cake is. But then I turn around when the big explosion happens and I'm like, oh,
01:08:08
Speaker
And I just stay like that. Just mouth agape. So you guys have made it to the cake now. Yeah, you guys are there. What do you what do you want to do? People are still recovering and getting up and getting things back in order. I kind of I don't know. It's like, do I go goat or do I go cake? Do I go objective or do I go goat? I'm going to make you roll to resist your goat nature. OK. Do I roll 2d6 or what?
01:08:38
Speaker
two successes sorry yeah well i'll give you one success if you do one success you could roll two two two dice you get one success you can resist your goat nature come on one success well actually without my out of my box i'll reroll that one success okay the so yeah you you can resist it the cake is up on a table you're too short to reach it
01:09:06
Speaker
Never fear, my friend. I want to jump up onto the table and kick it down on top of him. Well, I'm just going to say that the cake is the same size as the table. So there's no extra space to jump up on a table unless you're jumping on directly on the cake and you would have to jump extra high because the cake is also very tall. So I would like to get a running start and jump into the cake to try to knock it over onto my friend.
01:09:35
Speaker
chaos. Yeah, right. That's going to add a couple of. Does that mean he's going to get caught if if you roll? Yeah, it's going to be. Oh, you're going to have to get a lot of successes to get. And once I burst out the other side of of the cake, I'm going to be like, it's like when Smog bursted out of that base day about and ah, and I'm pretend like a dragon. So not only am I jumping up on top of something, but I'm recreating a scene from The Hobbit.
01:10:05
Speaker
He got a hand, he's doing very clever. Yeah, no, exactly. All right. He was covered in the gold. I'll be covered in cake batter. You're going to need like seven successes though to do this.
01:10:19
Speaker
Can I, can I help him? We can do that Macbeth, like, lift again if you, if he wants to try to headbutt things. I was gonna headbutt the legs of the table. Ooh, to help unstabilize it. Yes. It's like one of those pillared ones, those tables that is just like one. Oh, it's perfect. That would be even easier. And it should be top-heavy since it has this giant cake. It's got a big base on the bottom too, though. Well, we're good. We don't know better. Oh, all right. I'm happy to help with that. I'm happy to headbutt.
01:10:49
Speaker
It's my thing. The only justification I can think of is like 2d6. So I'll just, I'll jump up and help Martin. We're just going for it. Just, but more like just kicking it. Be like, Oh, like a normal. Actually, you know, actually, Billy, you're, you're just recovering. You, you fainted when the firework came over. Oh, I forgot you were a fainting goat.
01:11:13
Speaker
you're painting go you painted because the excitement of that firework was just a little too much for your little goat heart. Four successes. I have four successes as well. Oh, I managed to have made it harder than that. All right, so.
01:11:35
Speaker
Martin jumps up and knocks the cake off with his horns stuck in it or like, how do you do this? I wanted to smash through it. I think we have the rest of it fall on the floor is I like lock eyes with Martin and we both basically just he jumps up. We do like the high and low. Like I go for the legs, he goes for the head and it just gets everywhere. So the cake is just everywhere.
01:12:05
Speaker
Oh my goodness. All right, since this is at the edge of the party and everyone is still recovering from a possible dragon attack, I'm going to say that you managed to knock it down. It splatters kind of on the floor, but it's in the dark area. There's not a lot of lights there. There's maybe some barrels that are blocking some of the cake that fell on the ground.
01:12:32
Speaker
So yes, you managed to get that off. There are a couple of topics though that are pretty close to where you are. I'm gonna say they do notice, but they're also not, they're trying to be sneaky about stuff and they're like working through barrels, like opening up barrels and you hear them talking amongst themselves saying, it's gotta be in one of these barrels. Like the traveling
Concluding the Party with Success
01:12:55
Speaker
salesman told us it would be in a barrel. That's what you hear them say.
01:13:05
Speaker
Oh my gosh, it wasn't me. And they kind of run off because they don't want to be blamed for knocking the cake off. Yeah, it's your fault for throwing the cake on the floor. Pack is just like, come on, making it dirty. But then you do see like a greasy little like hobbit that's like, that is like kind of spying on these other two hobbits that's kind of like behind some barrels and just like looking and following them around.
01:13:28
Speaker
And then they noticed the cake and they're like, what?
01:13:32
Speaker
now this is this is just because greasy to me means can mean two different things like is he literally greasy? he's just like he's kind of dirty and like he's just like an oily like if you think of like Snape you know how he's just like oily hair and like you know that sketchy sort of hobbit like
01:13:52
Speaker
Okay, that's it. That's kind of what I was thinking. More of like a more of like a up to no good kind of person. Up to no good kind of restart person that's like ready to go for a slide. Yeah. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why that was the description that came into it. This is a character, an actual character, and I think maybe that's how they describe them. I'm not sure.
01:14:19
Speaker
well i just go eat cake yeah okay so you guys are eating cake i'm eating cake yeah might as well this is a it was an intermission so i can have a snack okay so as you guys are eating cake people have recovered and they're all they're all sitting down there they're saying speech speech we want to speech
01:14:47
Speaker
And Bilbo comes up on some barrels to give his speech. And here it goes, because I want to say it anyway. And it's going to happen. Oh, my dear Bagginses and Buffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubs, Chubs, Bros, Hornblowers, Bulgers, Bricegirdles, Good Buddies, Brockhouses, and Proudfoots. And then a fat hobbit that's got his feet kicked up to his proud feet.
01:15:23
Speaker
And then you see some hobbits that are just like scowling. They weren't announced in the speech.
01:15:39
Speaker
Today is my 111th birthday. I'm 11 new one today. Yes, and alas, 11 new one is far too short to live amongst excellent and admirable hobbits. Everyone applauds and cheers. And then he says, I don't know half as half of you have as well as I should like and I like less than half of you have as well as you deserve and the silence.
01:16:03
Speaker
And then, yeah, then he starts fiddling with something, and he says, I have things to do, and I've put this off for far too long. I regret to announce that this is the end. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. And then Bilbo disappears, and all the moments freak out, and they're all running around. Can I drain Headbutt him?
01:16:27
Speaker
But Bilbo? Yes. You can try, I guess, but he's invisible. So I want to stand on top of the table and try to look for him. I don't know what's happening. I don't either. I just saw him there and then gone. So I'm just going to go for it. Yeah, you can. I'll give you three successes if you can try to headbutt Bilbo. Can I? Because I'm eating cake. No, you've already finished eating your cake. Just you get four, four dice.
01:16:57
Speaker
Three successes. Okay, you ran into a barrel and you hear a thump and you hear something fall over and then so he was on barrel still when he when you ran into the barrel, the barrels matches to the ground you actually see some like inscription some writings inside of this barrel.
01:17:16
Speaker
and and those two hobbits that you saw earlier have noticed this too because they were looking at all the barrels and they they run over to the barrel that you've just smashed and say the treasure map that's it and so they try and like pick this barrel up and start like running away with it but the greasy hobbit that you saw earlier was um
01:17:34
Speaker
He's really latted up now. Lotho, Lotho, Saxville back in, so the son of Lotho and LaVelia. He's like trying to chase after them as they're like running around with this barrel. So all that has happened. Pretty much the area starts clearing out. Is there anything you guys want to do before this party ends? I found the invisible guy, I'm good.
01:18:02
Speaker
I got to recreate a bunch of stuff and I got to stand on things. I'm happy. All right, so you guys head back to your... Luke, did you accomplish what you wanted at this party? A cake, I'm happy. I was the one that ate more than you. You did, yes. You like eating things. Plus, I think the surprise of just a hobbit just disappearing out of nowhere is enough for my heart to just let me faint.
Reflecting on the Chaotic Adventure
01:18:29
Speaker
Yeah, we were pretty simple goats. And then it went from that to a lot of chaos, disguises, looking kids, a fake dragon, and then a guy just disappearing. I'm not as young as I used to be, so I can't go to parties like this all the
Returning to the Gaffer
01:18:47
Speaker
time. Head back to your pen, and the old gaffer is there. He's looking around quizzically because he's like maybe looking for Bilbo, but then he realizes goats were gone, and then you guys come up. I wave.
01:18:59
Speaker
I gotta remember, I have a hat on and I've covered a cake. Yeah, so he's realized his house has been broken into and when he sees you guys coming up, he's like, you goats, you guys get back in here and he gets all mad at you and locks you up.
Did We Solve the Mystery?
01:19:17
Speaker
Yeah, any final thoughts? Quince the next party? Can't wait till the next party, yeah.
01:19:24
Speaker
All right, you guys have successfully completed all your goals, I would say. You had a very fun party and you even, you even investigated a bit of a sneaky, uh, like heist or like a little, like a investigation that was going on looking for a hidden treasure map. So yeah. You found the secret thing that was happening in the
Game Master Reflects
01:19:47
Speaker
background. I also found Bilbo. And you found Bilbo, yes.
01:19:51
Speaker
Well done, everyone. Yes, very good. Good job, everyone. I think I made it too easy on you, but... You were very easy on SNA. I was. First time GMing, gut mastering, DMing, whatever. All that, so... How was it? Did you enjoy that?
Future of One-Shot Games?
01:20:09
Speaker
that was fun yeah definitely want to try this one again sometime um i have some other friends who are like interested in doing it probably won't record it but yeah man that was that was a lot of fun i enjoyed being a goat i would today i was just going all out i was like you know what i don't have to show up i just need to i don't know to show up with anything but six decks eight decks maybe but six i step up and i'm just gonna go all out today i'm just doing it
01:20:39
Speaker
Yes. All right. It was fun being a goat. Any other, any of these, any other one shots like this, I'm all for it. Let me know. It was fun. All right. Thank you guys for participating and helping me do this and being a goat for a day. Anytime. Anytime. Yeah. So you want to take us out?
01:21:05
Speaker
Yeah, sure. So thanks for listening to this little one shot. If you guys
Support and Community Engagement
01:21:10
Speaker
want to hear more bonus stuff in the background, you can support us on Patreon and access that by going to our website at rolling across the pond.com. And you can hear some of the other shenanigans that happens that gets edited out or maybe some other little specials. So definitely go check that out. Check out our website and our social social socials on Facebook and
01:21:35
Speaker
Instagram, Rolling Cross the Pond and Twitter as well. Please draw fan art of us, our goats and the new merch store, which has just launched on our website where we have stuff from the animal kingdom. We've got a couple of characters up. We're going to get, get some more soon. So definitely check that out, help support us. And yeah, that's it. So we'll see you guys next time.
01:22:06
Speaker
And Luke and Isaac waved today. That is a new one.